#so he's like ???? what about the judgement ??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 1 year

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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now #writeblr #you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like #u don't HATE their partner explicitly #but ur like. what the fuck y'all #like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic #and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like #frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....''#and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her.#all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it #or ... that it really IS good #and it's just odd to you #tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship #like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend #it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time #around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like #.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond.#so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think #but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something #but knowing you CANNOT #idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person #edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up #PS EDIT: btw i should have said:#the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every #type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''

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hoofpeet · 5 months

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I'd probably have to read the printed version and web version back to back at some point to note all the differences but... ough

#sorry i'm going to be excited about this comic for the next month #nofna #okay having finished this now--#and sorry if this doesn't make sense to anyone who's completely unfamiliar with this comic in advance-#the 'popcorn ending' (printed version) is nice to see but i think the web version hits harder. if that makes sense #so i'm kinda tied on which ending i 'prefer'- i think both are good though #also considering i've read the web version a good 4-5 times and the printed version only once- i probably can't make that judgement yet #easy answer- i do like Nutsedge :] so it's nice to see the ending where nothing bad happens to her #but also- NT suddenly becoming a greenie-esque villain out of nowhere felt a little jarring #as well as SV suddenly turning a corner and becoming a 'good guy' (arguable)- considering the first three books are about #/him being too stubborn to change or accept any outside worldviews . Him suddenly coming to his senses felt out of place #<- probably biased because i like characters being bitter to the end and ultimately destroyed by their own hubris #the web version is probably‚ objectively‚ a bit better #but -#(spoilers- if you're planning to drop ~70 bucks on getting these books)#the conceit of SV actually perfecting his style‚ using it once‚ and then immediately getting tooth-brained- was pretty cool #assuming it's meant to parallel him spending months tormented by trying to perfect it while something's still missing-#and then dying before he can narrate it to the audience‚ so that we never know what he figured out.#hard to articulate these thoughts but tl;dr- popcorn ending also had a lot to think about

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bonefall · 7 months

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The more I consider the "Smoky gets Frostpaw sterilized against her will" thing, the more I dislike it even on a thematic level...

This book seems to be trying to put Frostpaw through an arc of learning to trust people. Riverstar magically appears in her dreams to send her to the Park Cats who are meant to teach her this lesson, but... starting and resolving that arc more than halfway through the book was sloppy, and a waste.

Instead of Smoky forcing medical treatment on her in spite of how she tells him point blank "please no," SHE should have called for the human.

A creature that the Clan cats have never trusted, that they have great reason to fear. Caught between dying with her pride like a good warrior and taking a risk on the kindness of an unknowable beast, in spite of all the betrayal, she chooses the chance.

Play it like this; Make it so the reason she becomes chosen by Riverstar at all is because he SEES this glimmer of potential within her, because of this very choice.

Instead of that bizarre opening chapter where he seems to have magically gifted her some kind of spiritual connection as a plot device, INSTEAD make it that they were sadly overseeing the end of her life. That this was her destiny, to die as a young, proud warrior apprentice. To trust no cat, as her mother told her.

But instead, she tricks the wording of the self-fulfilling prophecy Curlfeather told her. It said nothing about trusting a human!

THEN follow it up with teaching her how to trust cats again. But make the road down this character arc be something she truly initiated, instead of the weird bullshit they did with her being mad at Smoky for violating her consent while also exonerating him for "Doing The Right Thing :)"

#Asc spoilers #Thunder spoilers #Like what was the point of having Smoky do that if they weren't going to do anything with his betrayal aggravating her--#--inability to trust people #Theyre obviously trying to set up an arc here about her learning to trust #But he forced medical treatment on her AGAINST HER WILL. When she COULDNT FIGHT BACK #In general though her flaw has been that she's been TOO trusting so this whole arc feels unnecessary imo #But if we must do it. Then set it up this way #Show that over and over. She chooses to trust. Sees the good in people #If anything the park cats should be focusing more on teaching her when NOT to trust. Like... judgement.#Judgement more than the question of trust itself.#But Smoky doing that was such a profoundly bad and uncomfortable idea imo #Give Frostpaw some agency?? Please???#Instead of just having God and other people constantly pushing her towards the next quest #Come on man

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thebad-lydrawn-sanses · 4 months

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Creator: Mm, art block. What to do...?

Creator: What do you think, wackus bonkus?

"Wackus Bonkus" (Hand): make angst

Creator: ohh, you naughty wackus bonkus

#ooc #not queued #literally me a few weeks ago trying to force myself to not get bored of this blog #this is my excuse for making angst #also it might not seem like it but Ink is my favorite character #he's so like #idk #he's so interesting i like him so much i just don't like writing from his perspective #i love making him a really dark shade of morally grey where he's not a good person but he's not like #a bad person #he just exists a certain way #i do like dynamics between Ink and Swap where Swap is trying to see from Ink's perspective and understand him #but also on this blog him trying to justify Ink's actions because he's a friend clouds his judgement of what's generally morally correct #sorry for the ramble i really like this little paint boy if you can't tell #aforementioned ramble is correlated to the next post for the record #not very confident about it but i do want to show character stuff and give little spoilers n hints about what's happening #i gave the silly little blog a proper timeline/storyline oops #updated to include the wings i forgot to draw fml

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teeth-draws · 8 months

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“What do you mean he’s scary!! Look at him!”

— taking artistic liberties to scrunkle the face of @shepherds-of-haven’s Blade Bronwyn - a man with 0.6% body fat lol

#shepherds of haven #if games #blade bronwyn #this is mc privelage at work #hc mcs but especially the ladies are like no he’s fine!! look he’s a lamb!! but if someone else tried this they’d get their wrists broken #being an artist (like being a writer) makes your proclivities rly obvious because in this instance you can tell that I love #babying men who could kickflip me into the sun #picking fights with famed assassins like… wow blade ur so confident for your height! and leave #blade likes girls with good hearts and Halle is not quite that but she IS an efficient worker so she always comes back with the win…#and a bunch of rescued orphans and mages and stuff it’s… not a reflection of her personality but rather her work ethic which even then #is reluctant and put-upon #she didn’t want to be a captain let alone commander she was meant to be using this gang of do-gooders to fulfil her fate and then bounce #but they’re all so wholesome and now she loves them despite her better judgement #and he’s so cute!! with his poetry and plants and the googly-eyed clam he keeps on his desk and talks to about his feelings!!#what’s a girl to do?#there’s only so strong you can be in the face of a man who tells you straight-faced he’d mcfucking die for you #talking the talk and walking the walk even to the most wary of wilderness orphans #as always blade you are a nightmare to draw I lost sleep over your skin tone #my foe of four years aka blade’s left elbow is cunningly hidden #their child would be a serious force of nature and also really tall #fanart #shoh #can you imagine the name? between austere ket names and whack mage names…#these are my parents: blade and halwendi. my name is steele mechanicus and I DONT want to talk about it #just realised that if his brother saw this shit he’d get blade stoned for being a public hussy gosh sorry better make an honest man of him #new blade hairstyle is a shaggy wolfcut bc I think it’s cute on him lmao #this is a really autistic couple honestly #not quite sure where to put his hands #like when you flip a shark upside down

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jahiera · 7 months

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pondering on a meta diving into Gale's abstract brand of selflessness (willingness to go away to a corner of the world to die so that none of the faceless masses will be harmed by his mistake) vs his personal selfishness (willingness to stick by tav despite being repulsed by tiefling camp murder + general vocal approval or interest in accumulating more power) and Gale's status as someone who is good aligned but generally ineffectual at enforcing actual good (the way that wyll or karlach will actually leave the party) which is fascinating for a fairly good-aligned person. just love when the Good Guy is actually kind of fucking weird. edit: tumblr cut off my tags Okay. and how all of this ties back in an interesting way to his relationship and power imbalance with mystra. he was wronged, deeply, but he also desires still that ... status / closeness to divinity in some way, by her influence. Gale thinks that he would be a better god simply by virtue of his mortality but he cannot escape the appeal of holding himself apart from others and being more than, greater than, something closer to godliness and thus inherently removed from mortal values and standards of right and wrong, which the gods themselves don't adhere to in the same way.

#it's just one of those things that's really compelling about his character to me in terms of ...#Gale hesitates with the shadow lantern not really because he's put off by the magic #in fact if a sorcerer Tav condemns dark magic he rebukes it and argues that all magic is inherently neutral; some simply more #frowned upon than others #He appreciates good acts. he'll say We Should Do The Good Act. but he's not going to really fight FOR doing the right thing the way #others might; and when you get beyond the act itself he can very quickly rationalize #necessity. or mistake. or the value of power + strength behind it.#the dichotomy between his fearful willingness to die at Mystra's behest while not really tamping down his interest in power and survival #that peers out and I think (?) feels almost obfuscated behind his eloquence and his manners and charm and general clockability as a #guy who approves of good things.#and there are things he says & does that are further beyond the expectations of what you might expect from someone who is 'good'#the initial interest in a deal with Raphael; the approval of taking tadpoles despite the uncertainty and possible cost; the acknowledgment #that powerful forms (slayer form or ascending astarion) will be useful onward #His Fucking Speech to Tav after the grove slaughter where he's outraged and disgusted but can be swayed to stay #he's so... sunk cost fallacy too I think. at some point the ends must surely justify the means right #and his God of Ambition thing is sooo compelling because it really drives to the max the part of gale's personality that is always there #but obfuscated by his immediate insistence that he's a moral person right. you know him to be of sound judgement. trust him.#He likes seeing good happen and he's happy to go along with doing good things and he'll #state his opinion when he thinks something EVIL is happening. but he's not necessarily #going out of his way here either if tav isn't -- and to be fair game mechanics technically mean #no one is - but we can read from Wyll/Karlach removing themselves from the situation #(need to double check but can't Wyll also leave a slayer dark urge?)#that they CAN go out of their way #Wizard Apathy Baby! you feel benevolent toward others but you crave what is beyond humanity and #deeply rooted in the arcane; which you see as beyond too basic concepts of 'good' vs 'bad' magic; neutrality that sways with intent #you trust good actions but you didn't ACTUALLY use your power at the time For Others either; you probably could have but #you craved MORE. something BETTER.#and there's a lot there in how that interacts with his relationship to mystra too #his desire to achieve something closer to godliness and both thinking that he can do better because he's mortal but at the same time #has proven that he can separate himself or his technical moralities from a situation if it means exploration of power/knowledge Beyond

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spllwys · 26 days

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i'm going on exam season lockdown as of today, which means no more gifs/edits/anything else because i spend way too much time on them for an engineering student in the trenches lmao. posting this not because i think anybody will notice or care, but so i can hold myself accountable and get embarrassed if i break the pledge. see you on june 3rd for a ghovie creativity extravaganza

edit: besides the ghovie trailer 😭 i cant restrain myself from that one

#actually june 4th because i will be drinking on june 3rd from the moment i close my semiconductors paper #cold turkey on gif making KHBJDGVSCDH RIP #genuinely its such a relaxing thing to do that i find myself prioritising it #and unlike other chill activities it gives me the illusion of productivity #i really need to be getting that from my work and not silly bands #anyway. see u #also in my 4 years of making edits like this in many different circles i've never once felt the need to mention a like/reblog ratio #and i'm fully of the opinion that people can do whatever the hell they like and i never expect interaction #i'm grateful for what i do have #but what primarily motivates me to do this is people sharing their love for whatever is on the post #in the tags or elsewhere #i'm not talking praise or thanks or anything to me i mean 'i love this song' or 'papa looks great here' skdcvkdgvs #'this is my favourite band' u know? it's sharing passion with other people and having them share theirs with me #and in all the 4 years and many many fandoms this (ghost/st) is by far the worst for interaction like that #i'd say ghost especially skhjcsd #and this tag rant isn't a request or a 'please interact more!' or anything like that it's just #a reason as to why i'm a bit discouraged that i'm chatting about to nobody #oh yeah and especially seeing photos posted with no source and no edits get 5x the notes you'd get #the quantity of notes doesn't matter to me but the discussion and tags do #just checked my notes in the middle of typing this and someone rbed some papa ii gifs with #'hope he's steady on his feet the way i would run into him'#KDSGKDSD that's what i'm on about 😭😭😭😭😭#makes me smile knowing something i posted made somebody feel joy abt a silly band and then shared that with me through the tags #i'm aware i've been here for just over one month so shouldn't be making judgements just yet #but sometimes i wish there was more of that

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daisiesonafield-blog · 1 year

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Louis Tomlinson is sequestered in the executive boardroom of a swanky hotel in suburban London, and is treating it the way a pupil might a classroom when the teacher’s popped out. He’s leaning back on his chair, feet up on a radiator, hands clasped behind his head and a cigarette on the go. “All right?” he says, grinning impishly.

Despite huge global success with One Direction (70 million albums sold), which prompted a fanaticism that made Beatlemania look tame, he seems remarkably unaffected and far more normal than one might expect from someone with 35.8 million Twitter followers. He’s a 31-year-old so unassumingly bloke-next-door that the bloke next door wouldn’t look twice.

“I’ve always had a problem with ‘ego’,” he says, “and I’ve always been worried about being one of those people in the public eye who just loses all sense of reality, and becomes an arsehole.” As if by way of explanation, he adds: “I’m from Doncaster.”

And so while his former 1D bandmate Harry Styles, a superstar, floats through life like the fashion world’s favourite clothes horse, Tomlinson kits himself out in JD Sports: Kappa T-shirt, black sweatpants, Adidas socks, scuffed trainers. When he tells you he often frequents his local pub unmolested, you believe him.

“If someone does come up after an hour to ask for a selfie, I won’t say no and I won’t run away,” he says, “’specially if I’m three pints deep!”

Of the five members of 1D, Tomlinson has had the slowest start to a solo career. There are compelling reasons for this — family tragedy for one — but he’s also had to figure out who he is without the band around him. “With this job,” he says, “there’s so much room for overthinking, you know? Someone from the record label will tell you they like your stuff, but you find yourself thinking: yeah, but do they? It’s the fans that help you really believe in yourself.”

In the band, Zayn Malik had the best voice and Styles had the best everything else. While the other three — Tomlinson, Liam Payne and Niall Horan — were hardly driftwood, each has nevertheless had to dig deep to carve out a solo persona that would compel beyond the bubble.

“I do miss the boys,” he says, “and I do definitely miss being one of the five, but I like doing my own thing too. It was time.”

It’s a bright winter’s day, and the man in sports casual is enjoying special dispensation here in the hotel: permission to light up. Had this been denied, there might well have been a problem, for Tomlinson chain-smokes with the wild abandon of Mad Men’s Don Draper.

After the release of his second solo album, Faith in the Future, in November, he adds another necessary notch in the belt of any self-respecting pop star next month: the documentary. All of Those Voices is a routine behind-the-scenes look at 21st-century celebrity but stands out for the multiple crises of confidence Tomlinson feels any time he’s not on stage.

“This is a confidence game for anyone,” he says earnestly, “and there’s been plenty of moments of vulnerability throughout the entire process.” An overriding concern of the documentary is not just whether people would be interested in him, but whether they’d take him, someone discovered on a TV talent show, seriously.

When Styles won his Grammy awards this month — he collected two and won four Brits — he used his acceptance speech to say that “this doesn’t happen to people like me very often”. This was swiftly ridiculed across social media because of course white men tend to win quite a lot. But what he likely meant was that it doesn’t happen to the product of manufactured boy bands, many of whom have the use-by date of a pint of milk.

“Only Harry knows what he means there, it’s hard to speculate,” Tomlinson says, “but we all came from relatively humble beginnings, and now we are where we are.”

But while Styles is a once-in-a-generation talent and knows it, his erstwhile bandmates — and this one in particular — need convincing.

Louis Tomlinson comes from a big family — his mother, Johannah Deakin, married twice and had seven children — and was a hopeful child actor before in 2010 auditioning for The X Factor. This is where 1D were created, “masterminded” by Louis Walsh. Deakin, who had Tomlinson when she was 19, was his biggest fan and they’d always been close. When, for example, Tomlinson lost his virginity, it was she he told first, not his friends.

In 2016, a year after One Direction split, she died from leukaemia, aged 42. Two years later, his 18-year-old sister, Félicité, who’d been struggling to get over her mother’s death, accidentally overdosed on cocaine, painkillers and an anxiety drug. The combined loss hit him hard. Aside from the single he wrote about his mother’s passing, 2020’s Two of Us, his mourning has been largely private.

He squints through a veil of cigarette smoke. “Some of the things that have happened recently have been quite drastic, yeah, but then so much in my life seems to have been pretty extreme, one way or the other.” In 2016, at the age of 25, a brief relationship with a Californian stylist, Briana Jungwirth, resulted in a son. “There’ve been challenging times, definitely. It’s funny, but I couldn’t even tell you how many years ago my mum passed, I just blank it out. But for the first 18 months, I’d take any form of bad luck personally. I’d feel every tiny thing. But now I genuinely feel I’ve come out the other side. I feel more empathy for everything and everyone these days.”

After his 2020 debut album, Walls, failed to set the world alight, Tomlinson called time on his relationship with Simon Cowell. “It was mostly amicable,” he says, nodding. “Simon always had my best interests at heart, and I liked him. He had his faults of course, like all of us, but it was always inevitable I’d have to go off and do my own thing.”

His new record, then, was a leap into the unknown and he elected to write not with professional songwriters but rather fellow creative artists: Theo Hutchcraft from the band Hurts, Joe Cross from the Courteeners and the singer-songwriter James Vincent McMorrow. “And that was a big difference, huge. These are people who live and breathe music. It’s the first time I felt really comfortable doing my own stuff, you know?”

Previously he’d been encouraged to sing like a nice young pop star should, without regional inflection. “When I was in the band,” he says, “working with professional songwriters whose entire aim was to write the hit single, they’d tell me that singing in my natural accent wasn’t commercial. Sorry, but what a shit idea! Who wants to sound like everybody else? I dumbed down a little bit in the band, because you do, but I’ve learnt who I am now.”

The album, which has its inspiration firmly in early Noughties indie, sounds more Kaiser Chiefs than One Direction. A risk, then. But when it came out, it debuted at No 1. While this did wonders for his confidence, it’s clear from the documentary that he still needs people — a support group — around him. He actively courts the friendship of his touring band, not necessarily a given among solo pop stars, and he seems almost always sociable. It’s when he’s not up for group activity that people worry. There’s a revealing moment in the documentary of him having just appeared on James Corden’s US talk show. Backstage Corden, an old friend, pleads with him not to go quiet on him afterwards. “You vanish, you change your number, no one knows [where you are],” he says.

Until recently Tomlinson lived in London with his long-term girlfriend, the model Eleanor Calder, but recent reports suggest they’ve split up and he’s dating another model, Sofie Nyvang. Life, clearly, is complicated. Perhaps that’s why he smokes so much. He says, though, that he feels finally relieved of the myriad pressures that once clung to being a pop star whose fanbase was predominantly teenage. Such as?

“Well, being a role model for one. I never wanted that. I always had to worry whether it was OK if, say, I was seen here or if I could get away with smoking a joint there, before concluding: hmm, probably not. But I never wanted to be the perfect pop star, especially in the climate of Instagram. I don’t want to put an artificial world out there. I think it’s important that people see your scars, your flaws.”

It’s never easy growing up in public and Tomlinson had no choice. “When One Direction split up,” he says, “I was mortified, I was absolutely gutted. I was a bit bitter, I suppose because it just felt like another loss to me. But I’ve a better understanding of things now, and there’s not as much anger. It is what it is.

“Getting back together at some point is hard to imagine right now,” he continues, “but I’d be surprised if we lived out our lives and didn’t have a moment where we had a reunion, or whatever you want to call it. I’d be up for that.”

When I ask what it’s like watching Styles’s ascendance into the biggest star of his generation — something that might delay such a reunion — he blows out a long plume of smoke.

“Well, it’s not a surprise is it? We were always aware that Harry fit that mould, and it’s been an amazing thing to watch. Envy? At the start maybe, when I was trying to find my feet, but it’s never healthy to cross-reference your own success with others is it? These days I’m learning to elevate myself in those moments when I have to. I didn’t know how to do that before, but now? Now I know I f***ing can.” All of Those Voices is in cinemas from March 22, allofthosevoices.com

-Full article. Feb 23 2023. Link here. Free link here.

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