#so i ended up writing a bunch of plotline but the smut is coming

[cadavercowboy]

Winners And Losers — Part One

Pairing: Lt. Colonel Franklin Clay x Reader

Summary: If being an ex-Black Ops mercenary has taught you anything, it’s that you win some and you lose some. Colonel Clay could stand to learn that lesson, too.

Word Count: 2.3k+

Warnings: Language. Mention of death. Violence.

Gun oil smears across your fingers and drifts up into your nostrils as you clean the last of your three weapons. You drag the stained cloth over every inch of your AR-style rifle, meticulously prepping it for today’s operation. Your fellow ex-operatives bustle around you as well, preparing their own weapons and tending to any preparations they’re responsible for.

The sound of Pooch’s ratchet echoes around the cluttered garage from beneath the hood of a large, black Hummer. Cougar sits in the corner with his booted feet propped on a rickety table and his customary cowboy hat sitting crookedly atop his head as he fiddles with the scope on his sniper. Jensen — in one of his infamously ridiculous graphic tees; this one depicting an adorable kitten outfitted like Rambo — replaces the batteries in your walkies and tests everyone’s earpieces, ensuring they’re operating properly.

And Clay? He’s nowhere to be found, though that’s to be expected. The Colonel has become something of a ghost in the recent months and seeing him outside of a rundown or a mission is a rarity. Not that he’s ever been a very open or social man, but after Roque’s betrayal and Aisha’s death, he’d virtually shut himself off entirely from the team. You’d become The Losers and The Loner. 

No matter how many successes outnumber your few failures, Clay is never there to celebrate — or even wallow —  with a drink afterwards alongside you and the boys. Instead, he chooses to isolate himself, alone in shitty motel rooms or dusty, old bunkers with only his thoughts and a bottle of whiskey to keep him company. Outside of absolutely necessary communications for the sake of creating a game plan for your missions, none of you ever speak to Clay and it’s becoming a bit of a damper on the team’s morale. The distance he’s built between you all has made co-op missions awkward and tense as of late.

A heavy door creaks open and slams shut, revealing the man in question; dressed in a crinkled dress shirt and a suit jacket that has seen better days. His stubbled face is taut, his brow furrowed with stress and his typical expression of unhappiness. The room immediately becomes weighted with tension, as it always does. Clay tosses a thick file folder onto a workbench, silently pointing at it in an invitation for everyone to look it over before turning back around to make his exit.

A metallic crash rings throughout the room when Pooch tosses his wrench into his toolbox and pulls out a rag to wipe the motor oil from his calloused hands. The room suddenly feels tiny and overcrowded and you shift uncomfortably, laying your unloaded weapon beside the two other empty pistols on the table. From the annoyed look on Pooch’s face, you already know something bad is about to go down. 

“Well, look who finally climbed out of their hole,” he announces loudly towards Clay’s retreating back.

The Colonel’s steps halt and you see his already tense shoulders raise just a bit before he exhales on a long sigh. Every member of the team turns slowly, reluctantly…waiting to watch the inevitable blow-up that’s sure to happen.

“You actually gonna be part of this mission, Colonel? Or you just gonna phone it in like the last four?” Pooch wonders.

“If you got a problem with the way I run things, feel free to find your way to the door,” Clay retorts without turning around.

“Nah, we’re already down two idiots and if I leave too, the rest of these idiots don’t stand a chance,” Pooch spits. “Although, maybe with less people to keep an eye on, you’ll be able to tell when someone is two-timin’ ya.”

The mention of the loss of two members and the reference to the treacherous Roque sets your teeth on edge. You know how sensitive the subject is for Clay and it’s something you’ve all known better than to bring up. But Pooch has never been one to stand down and if something is bothering him, you’re all gonna know about it. When Clay spins slowly, you stand from your stool and wipe your dirty hands on your stained jeans, ready to interfere if necessary.

“Right under your nose and you didn’t…even…see it,” Pooch bites out, taking several steps in Clay’s direction until he stands before him. 

This is the first time anyone has so bluntly mentioned The Roque Incident and certainly the first time anyone dared to call Clay out for his part in it. Though he isn’t directly responsible, Clay’s negligence in monitoring his team had led to Aisha’s death. If he had paid more attention to Roque’s suspicious behavior or killed him when given the chance, the traitor wouldn’t have been able to take Aisha out or escape without a trace. 

“Pooch, c’mon,” you plead before Clay interrupts.

“Don’t you dare fuckin’ talk to me about not seein’ shit,” he growls. “Don’t talk about them.”

“Why? Because you can’t face what you did? Don’t wanna admit that you’re the reason she’s—”

Pooch doesn’t have a chance to complete his accusation because Clay’s fist swiftly knocks the words right back down his throat. The muffled impact of his swinging fist is deafening in the uncomfortably quiet garage. You’re in motion almost immediately, hopping over an open crate of ammo to insert yourself between the two men pushing one another and throwing well-aimed punches. Pooch returns Clay’s punch, landing a heavy blow against his mouth before you’re bracing a hand against Clay’s chest and shoving him with all your might.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, come on!” you yell. “Knock it off!”

As per usual, you’re forced to play mother to this motley crew of unruly men. Placing your body between the fired up soldiers, you hold a placating palm in either direction, silently imploring them to calm down. Their heavy breaths fill the room, each of them shifting their weight on their feet and itching to get to one another. 

“You ever bring that shit up again and I’ll put a bullet in your head,” Clay threatens.

“Sounds fun,” Pooch pants with a feigned smile.

From amongst the table full of tech comes Jensen’s soft voice. “Sounds like my parents.”

“Load up in 10,” Clay grunts brusquely before storming out through the door he entered from.

You blow out a breath and roll your eyes as you shuffle over to Cougar and his trusty sniper. He lays the gun down gently before glancing up at you with a shake of his head and a shrug of disbelief. 

“Idiotos locos,” he mutters so only you can hear it.

From under the table, he procures a half-empty bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. As is tradition, he pours a shot for each of you and you tap the miniature glasses together before downing the acrid liquid in tandem. With a fist bump and a salute, you both arm up and gather the necessary supplies before waiting on Pooch and Jensen.

When everyone is fully loaded and prepared, Pooch pulls open the huge overhead door and leads you to where your intended transport is parked outside. The yellow paint of the decrepit van is chipped, peeling, and rusted; the Dorian Exterminators logo barely visible amongst the deteriorating body of the vehicle.

“You planning to go undercover or you trying to offer candy to unsuspecting kids?” you jest towards Pooch, tossing your head in the direction of the creepy van. 

“Not even Willy Wonka could trick a kid into this piece of shit,” Jensen jokes along.

Pooch offers a middle finger to each of you, explaining that this is all he could get on such short notice. Clay appears from nowhere, joining the group of you as you make your way towards the van. He swings the back doors open, gesturing for you to climb in before piling in behind Jensen and Cougar. The back of the van is cramped and hot, but you make due, curling your legs beneath you to make room for your three comrades. From the driver’s seat, Pooch twists his body around and whistles to get everyone’s attention. 

“We gotta squash this shit,” he declares, addressing Clay.

“Pooch, we’re on a schedule,” Clay counters impatiently.

“Pooch, we’re on a schedule,” he parrots mockingly, yanking the keys from the ignition so Clay knows he has no intention of leaving.

You nearly laugh at the man’s goofy voice and one glance at Jensen tells you he’s in the same boat. Clearing your throat to prevent that, your eyes volley from Clay to Pooch, waiting to see how this plays out. The dried blood in the corner of Clay’s mouth matches the blood that circles Pooch’s nostril.

“I’m not going into an assignment with this shit on my mind,” Pooch says. “So let’s just apologize and move on so we can get to work.”

“Apologize? Are you—”

Pooch starts talking before Clay can argue any further. “I’m sorry for bringing up the past. And for being…kind of a dick.”

“Kind of?” Clay questions incredulously, before thinking better of it and simply going along with Pooch. “You know what…I’m sorry, too…for punching you. Now can we go?”

Seemingly pleased with Clay’s forced apology, Pooch offers a bright smile and a single excited nod before situating himself in the driver’s seat. The keys jingle as he jams them back into the ignition and the engine grinds to life. With the tip of his finger, he flicks the nose of the little bobblehead chihuahua sitting atop the dashboard — no mission would be complete without him.

“Let’s roll, Mojito!”

Between the erratic way Pooch is driving and the grating sound of Jensen’s off-key scream-singing of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’,” you’re feeling just a bit overwhelmed. Every time a bump in the road sends the dilapidated van airborne, Pooch laughs maniacally. You slip and slide along the steel floor of the empty vehicle, clawing for purchase as you watch the dashboard doggie’s head rattling with dizzying abandon. It’ll be a damn miracle if you can make it to the rendezvous point without puking all over yourself. That is, of course, assuming that the crumbling van doesn’t shake itself to pieces first.

Jensen screeches out a particularly high note, one that prompts you all to howl a chorus of “shut up” in unison. When the tires thankfully remain entirely in contact with the pavement of a particularly smooth road, you look up to speak to Clay.

“You still think we should enter through the East corridor?” you yell. “West side would make it easier to get in and get out!”

Clay considers your words for a moment, mentally picturing the map he’d pored over all morning. With a quick glance at Jensen and Cougar who nod in agreement, Clay also agrees with your observation. Your assignment is an extraction mission and you’ve been tasked with rescuing several important government personnel. According to Clay’s intel, the room they’re being held in is closest to the West side of the building. While it’s expected to be more guarded, entering there will lessen your chances of being spotted before you can reach the targets.

“No muss, no fuss,” Clay quips.

You observe him for an extended moment, though not long enough to be conspicuous. Since joining the Losers, you admittedly had a crush on the handsome Colonel, but it’s against your principles to get involved with a superior. Plus, when Aisha had come into the picture, you’d had to squash down your juvenile feelings in the name of self-preservation. Jealousy is the last thing you want to bring on a mission with you and you’d never risk the safety of your team by coming to work distracted. Still, the need to prove yourself to your leader and earn his praise remains and it has strengthened your work ethic in an intense way.

Pooch screeches the van to a halt and it sends all of you tumbling into a heap of limbs and guns. Clay grumbles in irritation while Jensen merely laughs and Cougar leaps into action, kicking the van’s doors open. He hops out and you all follow suit, adjusting yourselves and standing in a circle for one last rundown of the plan. 

You secure the pistols on each hip and situate the rifle strapped to your back while Clay runs through the most important steps. Cougar is going to be stationed at a vantage point behind the warehouse you’re entering. Jensen is to wait outside in the thick brush, keeping an eye on the perimeter and taking care of comms while you’re all inside. You, Clay, and Pooch are infiltrating the building and taking out any guards you come across on your way to the hostage’s location.

With a final review of his responsibilities, Cougar takes off sprinting, making his way up a steep hill and disappearing behind a line of trees. Excitement and anticipation set your heart to beating in a wild rhythm as you move in line with the trio and stealthily approach the abandoned warehouse a few hundred feet away. Your boots crunch quietly along the gravel before you come to a stop, bracing your back against the steel-sided building. 

You wonder if the men inside holding innocent civilians hostage are aware that you’re coming for them, but you’re sure you have the element of surprise on your side. The captors had reached out to the CIA in search of a ransom, but all they got was a team of ex-Black Ops coming to blow their asses away.

“Boss, we got a problem,” Cougar’s accented voice crackles in your earpieces.

Furrowing your brow, you meet Clay’s eyes with a confused expression. A long pregnant pause passes as you wait for Cougar to report back, wondering what it is that he’s seen through his scope. A strange look passes through Clay’s hazel eyes before Cougar’s voice sounds again.

“We got Roque.”

Part Two

• Series Masterlist •

Jeffrey Dean Morgan Masterlist ✦ Writing Masterpost

#i can't wait for this to get slept on...courtesy of what a massive hunk of shit this site is becoming #this was just supposed to be a smutty oneshot but we all know that's almost impossible for me #so i ended up writing a bunch of plotline but the smut is coming #the losers #the losers fanfiction #colonel franklin clay #colonel franklin clay fanfiction #colonel franklin clay x reader #colonel clay #colonel clay fanfiction #colonel clay x reader fanfiction #jeffrey dean morgan #jeffrey dean morgan fanfiction

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.

#this post is EXTREMELY fucking long send help #ITT: i read something that probably changed my brain chemistry for a few hours and it's painful #zet vs 100days #i'm just glad to get this off my chest good lord #anyway if people want to send me links to their favorite shrios fluff i would welcome it

[ddoals]

Kakashi finding out his girlfriend writes NSFW

This ended up being shorter than I planned for it to be. Sorry :(.

Hi! I love your scenarios dor kakashi! Could i ask you for one where Kashi finds hout his girlfriend is actually a very popular Nsfw author but she uses a pen name to publish (bonus points if she began for spite because she found out jiraya had used her as reference in one of his earliest icha icha books)

The first time you caught Jiraiya peeping at you was when you were 19 years old. You were at a hot spring with your friends trying to wash out the stress of the day. As you gave into the warm liquid around you and tried to enter a state of nirvana you heard an ear-piercing screech. You whirled around towards its source only to see a huge white-haired man flop on the ground next to a bunch of broken wood that you deduced was once a part of the divider. One of your friends stood next to him, doing whatever she could to cover herself while pointing at the peeping tom. All the girls went into a state of hysteria and desperately called for the owner. The white-haired man regained consciousness and tried to escape, but you were not here for any of it. You grabbed the nearest towel, firmly tied it around yourself and ran after the man. At that moment you had no shame nor self-awareness, you just wanted to catch the pervert and bring him to justice. You chased him around the village, throwing curses and vengeful promises at him. The old man took a sharp turn and was only a silver away from escaping when you climbed up a vegetable stall and tackled him. Your feet knocked him down and you triumphantly placed your leg on the man’s head.

You would later find out that this degenerate was one of the great Sanin and the author of a very well-known explicit novel series. This obviously did not remove the hatred and disgust; on the contrary, your distaste for him just got worse. After the hot spring incident, you started guarding yourself much more and always had your eyes opened. However, your sharp instincts didn’t stop Jirarya from conducting his “research”. You had caught him peeping at you in swimming pools and training sessions. Sometimes you would catch him following you around the village and it infuriated you. Once in a while, you would catch an uninterested Naruto with him.  Finally, you went to the Hokage, Tsunade, to get the Jiraiya issue sorted out. Tsunade revealed to you that you weren’t the first person to bring this issue up and that she was working on it. Which obviously meant nothing. You always kept an eye out for the residential pervert and beat him up every time you caught him. The fact that a man of his stature was running around looking at young women disgusted you. Eventually, Jiraiya left the village to further Naruto’s training, finally marking the end of his shenanigans. Or so you thought. 

A few months later you were going about your own business running personal errands only to stop when you felt an intense stare. Dealing with Jiraiya for all these years led you to develop a strong sixth sense. You could tell if you were being followed or observed with ease. You tried to mind your own business and looked through the shelves of the book store for your desired script until you couldn’t take it anymore. You turned around ready to attack Jiraiya only to realize that your silent observer was somebody completely different. Instead of white, this man had silver hair. He was much more fit and had a mask covering half of his face. He wore a jounin vest so you immediately knew he was a shinobi. You let out an aggressive growl. “What’s your problem, buddy?” The ninja, or Kakashi, as you would later come to know, looked a little shocked as if he had just woken up from a trance. His cheeks grew red and his hand went to the back of his neck. He took a step back and apologized. He explained that you looked a lot like a character in a book he was reading. You gave him a sceptical look, which prompted him to pull out a  book from his pocket. He showed you some of the pages and description of said character. Kakashi was right, the character seemed a lot like you. All the way from her physical description to her aggressive dialogues. You almost brushed it aside as a coincidence until you read the name of said character. To say you were mad was an understatement. You were fuming. Kakashi could literally feel the heat radiating off your face. “This better not be his work” you murmured as you flipped to the cover. Sure enough, this was Jiraiya’s infamous Icha Icha Paradise. 

Surprisingly after that incident Kakashi and you grew close. Your close friendship soon blossomed into a lovely relationship. Kakashi was one of the best things that happened to you, and despite the fact that you owed your beautiful relationship to Jiraiya and his smutty book, you were still understandably upset about being written into his book. You knew Jiraiya prided himself in his raunchy literature, so you decided that you were going to beat him at his own game. You kept your plan a secret and chose a pen name to protect your identity. Since you had never written anything erotic in the past, you decided to conduct some research and learn the ways of literary porn. Obviously, your research was much more civilized than Jiraiya’s and consisted of you reading smutty books and guides on writing stories. You learned of the different literary devices and techniques of storytelling. You started developing characters with backstories, goals, and flaws. You created a setting and crafted a plotline. It was surprisingly hard work, but you kept pushing through. At times this all felt ridiculous. Writing porn to get back at an old geezer? What were you thinking? These doubts were always cut through with the memory of your humiliation. ‘This was a matter of your self-respect’, you would tell yourself. Sure enough, under the name Himitsu, you were able to publish your first erotic novel.

Your novel did very very well. Unlike Jiraiya’s crap, your book had a good amount of plot. In fact, most of your book was plot-driven which is what led it to beat Icha Icha, which was mostly smut driven. You had heard from someone that Jiraiya was devastated about some young newcomer doing better than him. This drove you to write and publish more books, something you came to love. Writing had become your passion and almost a full-time career. When this ploy had initially started, it was meant to be a one-time thing, which is why you were not pressured about telling Kakashi; however, the more this grew the more conflicted you became about this. You were standing in your kitchen one-day brainstorming different ways to tell your boyfriend about your work when he walked in with a huge grin on his face. “What’cha smiling about?” you asked him. Kakashi had nothing but some shorts on. He had stayed the night before and had planned on staying the rest of the day with you. You were just in the middle of making breakfast and he had been freshening up in the bathroom. “Nothing,” he said.  You hummed and went back to cooking. “You know (Y/N) I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff,” he said a short while later. “What kind of stuff?” you asked as you looked at him quizzically. “This kind of stuff.” He held up a manuscript of your latest work. Immediately your body froze. Embarrassment washed over you. Your whole face grew red and your mind went blank. 

You explained everything to him and he let out a hearty laugh. You knew he was never going to let you off the hook for this, but he was still supportive and soon became your number one fan. In the future, you would walk into your bedroom to see Kakashi trying to role play as one of your characters and recreate certain scenarios from your book.

#Kakashi #kakashi hatake #hatake kakashi #kakashi hatake x reader #hatake kakashi x readere #kakashi x reader #kakashi imagine #hatake kakashi imagine #kakashi hatake imagines #naruto imagines #kakashi headcanons #Boruto headcanon #boruto imagines #x reader #jiraiya #sanin #icha icha paradise #sixth hokage #sixth hokage x reader

[hayjeon]

Practical Tips on getting your fics out there!

I’ve gotten an influx of these types of questions here recently, and the more i thought about what i was gonna add, it became really long :(  

disclaimer: a lot of the things i bring up are just from personal experience as a writer on this site, what my followers have told me they appreciate, and what i tend to look for when im looking for fics to read! If you don’t like these tips then pls move on :) 

although i’ll mention them, i’m also not going to be focusing on cliche tips like “write for yourself” or “grammar issues” cause those are pretty obvious!

1. accessibility of your blog 

when you’re trying to get your name out there, make sure that you’re creating an inviting experience for any potential followers! this includes:

a memorable url! be creative!

have some fun designing your blog’s aesthetic! (i love cute blogs because it reflects a bit of the writer’s personality), and (i prefer blogs with white backgrounds because it’s easier to look through/read, say, in contrast to a pitch black one where the words need to be white!) 

put your masterlist link in your bio (even better if you can link most recent fic! found this most helpful when i revisit authors that i like and can easily see if they’ve updated or not)

an organized and easy-to-navigate masterlist (personally, i prefer masterlists organized by band, instead of types of fics ie. i hate when i have to choose between drabbles, oneshots, and series masterlists; i really prefer to see them altogether!) --> see section 3 

organized tags (if you’re going to be posting a lot of non-fic-related content like pictures or videos, tag them properly so followers can sort through and find your fics easily!), or (if you’re going to be writing in different mediums like drabbles, or answering asks, make sure to use a unified #mine or #writing or #fics to centralize your content) 

2. get your name out there!

write write write! once you have some fics that show your talent, don’t be shy! 

join writing groups: when i first started out, I joined a bunch of groups that would reblog my fics in the midst of the content of much bigger writers; these blogs developed a following, and as a result of my content mixing in with bigger blogs’ content, so did my own tumblr! there’s been a stigma recently with these groups, but im sure you can find one thats supportive and not clique-y! 

send your fics to rec pages: what’s the harm? the only bad thing that can happen is that they ignore you! who cares! get out there! 

if you can do the above, i really encourage you to ask your fave writers for advice/to read your fic: again, the worst that can happen is that they say no or don’t respond or don’t have enough time, but it’ll be a good opportunity to get some feedback! i for one read (or try to read) every single rec that falls into my inbox. if i like it, i’ll #rec it, and if i don’t, unless the writer asks me for feedback, i move on!! 

utilize your tags!!: i’m not entirely sure if this is still the same or not, but from my memory, it’s the first 3-5 tags that matter the most? so utilize them well; push back the tags that aren’t really relevant (ie. #writing, #fics) and push more the main subject line of what you wrote (ie. jungkook fluff, bts smut, namjoon angst). these will populate your fics into the tags better!

headers!: when i’m scrolling through an infinite page of fics, the headers catch my eye the most; try being creative! you can find a lot of info out there on how to make ur headers super aesthetic, but i can share my tips too! --> see section 3

3. your masterlist 

here are some practical tips! 

organize by band, not type of fic/member/centralize your masterlist: i went onto a blog recently and clicked their bio mlist link to find a page full of 20~ish “JUNGKOOK MASTERLIST”/ “JAEHYUN MASTERLIST” and when i clicked on each one, they only had like 2 or 3 fics per member. i think it would’ve been better if she’d centralized all her fics! that keeps whoever is looking interested and more likely to click on another fic while browsing

add info about the fics!: when scrolling through a masterlist, it’s easy to get lost; try to add some snippets of info (ie. a short sentence you liked from the fic, a quick summary, a description of the au/scenario, or even a header!) this all gives some info about the fics you have tagged! 

headers: this isn’t a requirement, but i personally love a good header on fics i read and i love making them myself as i finish up a fic and get ready to upload it; here are free sources: unsplash for HQ stock pics, crop/edit/filter in VSCO, and then add aesthetic script with fontcandy) 

try to fill it up!: after i visit a blog after reading one good fic, i usually browse through their mlist to see if there are any more that i’d be interested in. if there’s a lot to look forward to, i’ll almost always follow; try to write as much as you can in the first few months to try and fill up your mlist and give blog viewers a reason to visit your blog again, follow, or even reblog your content!) 

4. try not to reproduce cliche fics: 

honestly tumblr’s writing community (and armys) has grown insanely these past few years and, unfortunately, even from my perspective, in the past 3-4 years, all the writers have sort of become blended together in my brain. but, i can say that the ones who consistently stand out are the ones who produce consistent content and think outside of the box! 

i tend to gravitate towards fics that have really interesting plotlines (ex. btssavedmylifeblr’s VOID is always a surprise to read because it’s sO unique! i usually don’t read ot7 fics but this one is legit my fave) 

I know it’s tempting to try and just write typical smut fics to try and gain some traction, but tumblr is already too overloaded by that kind of content; try to write something that’s special and unique! this will set u apart from the thousands of other writers here --> see next section

5. create unique fics: 

this is also personal to my writing style, but i get so bored writing just casual fics about the members, and it affects the fics i choose to read too; i prefer unique fics which you can achieve through: 

circumstance/au: create a fun au!; don’t just create an arranged marriage, create an arranged marriage in joseon dynasty, or between a werewolf and a hunter! (shameless self plug); don’t just give me friends to lovers, but give me spiderman!jungkook friends to lovers! (ie. cupofteaguk’s exchanges)

jobs: give them out-of-the-ordinary jobs; don’t just give me enemies to lovers, but give me rival!anchors who end up loving eachother! (ie. jimlingss The Newscasters)

fun dialogue: create good back-and-forth, (something i’m still working on!)! this will help your characters develop personality, and that way, readers will start to develop that themselves as well (ie. dad!yoongi from insemination wars by prolixitae is such a specific character that i love so much!, or obiwrites’ garden characters were so memorable!)

create memorable personalities: don’t give me a flat character, try to develop 4d personalities in all of your characters! (im still working on this too!) this way you can really make an impression on your followers! a great way to practice/recognize this is: “Ask my Character.” Can your followers ask a specific character a specific question, and would you be able to deliver an answer that is very specific to that character’s tone/voice/personality? If yes, then ur doing well! If not, try to think of ways that you can make tht specific character from a specific story, really unique and separate from your other characters.

6. some practical writing tips

be yourself, write for your own pleasure, blah blah blah; yeah you know already haha but here are a few more practical tips! 

grammar check: if you can, try and hone your grammar! makes for an easier read 

write like you: i personally LOVE this by obiwrites, but even the way she writes exudes her personality and is so specific; try not to be caught up in adding hundreds of synonyms and exquisite language; in fact, simpling it down and being more concise and honest with your writing is better than a superfluous sentence; this will also give ur characters so much more dimension and funk

use those commas/sentence variation: try to use more commas; this will feel like you’re the narrator to your own story; it also makes it more fluid to read in my opinion, over those short. clipped. sentences. (ie. “he came over, sitting down on the corner of your bed with an expression you’d never seen before” over “he walked over. he sat down, looking sad.”) 

half-half dialogue/narration: a fic with too much dialogue can get confusing, and a fic with too much narration can get dry; try to balance them out, and weave in and out of each! 

quality over quantity: don’t feel burdened to write a 30k word fic. in fact, i think some of the shorter fics (ie. any of versigny’s stuff) made a bigger impression on me over the longer fics because they were short, left me wanting more, and were just so high-quality in such small quantities. try out your hand at drabbles and one-shots, and don’t feel too burdened to try and develop a series right off the bat! 

abandon pigeon-holes: i’m guilty of this; i start series and then end up with no vision for the stories and they end up giving me writers block. its okay. just stop or discontinue them or leave them on a hiatus; it’s okay. your priority is yourself, and if abandoning certain works are part of that, then go ahead. it’ll help you progress more. 

and finally.......

i’ll add more as they come up! but if you liked this, then pls lmk! i’d love to give more tips and tricks; i think i started this blog 3-4 years ago when there weren’t as many writers here, but im glad you’re thinking of starting out/wanting to grow more! don’t feel intimidated! it’s not all about the notes/followers but creating a blog you’re proud of. 

so write what you’re proud of, or interested in, and keep going. i truly thoroughly had so much fun writing this post. if there are any writers who read through this and have some more advice, pls msg me! 

all the best to you! 

#writing tips #story talk #if ur a writer pls lmk if theres anything u wanna add #if ur a reader then pls lmk any questions or comments!

[ghoste-catte]

10, 18

10. How would you describe your writing process?

I think I’ve answered this before with like. “In my pajamas, deranged.” Which is true, but on a more serious note, my writing process is pretty linear. I generally come up with a concept and jot it down as a short blurb in my ideas doc first. I might have a couple lines of dialogue or a key phrase or a title or an inspiration (like art or a song or poem or something) that gets noted down. Then when I sit down to actually write it, I copy my blurb into a new document and flesh it out into a loose outline. Normally at this point I go take a bunch of showers to generate ideas to flesh out the plot, or I’ll chat over the idea with a friend or with my wife to bulk it up. Shout out to @egregiousderp btw who tolerates so much of my brainstorming in their DMs! I sort of write as I outline - my outlines can be pretty close to full scenes in just sort of rough form, which then becomes the finished product. Then it’s just sort of the normal edit, re-edit, post (and then find a couple typos in the finished product that I missed and get all pissy about it). 

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Not really? I normally have a pretty solid idea of who the POV character is and where I want the plot to go ... insofar as any of my works have a plot, because most of them are so character-driven. I’ve had a few ideas that I’ve not ... abandoned, but that really needed to be cut out into their own works. Like in (un)controllable, there’s a scene where Lee and Gaara are breaking into a bunker, and that scene sort of spun out of control and was outsized for the fic, which was supposed to be these very short, illustrative scenes. So that got broken out into its own story (which I haven’t finished or published yet, lol). I also have an unfinished fic about trans Gaara that I originally wrote from Lee’s POV, but about 3/4 of the way through, I realized Lee had way too much insight for the story I wanted to tell, so I had to rewrite like half the fic from Gaara’s POV instead, which was a pain. Plus half of the stuff I’d written didn’t fit, so I had to break it out into its own story. So, uh, look forward to two trans Gaara fics, I guess! Intricate Rituals was also originally supposed to be a smut prompt fill, so it had a steamier ending originally, but then I found an idea that was a better fit for the prompt, so I ended up just leaving that fic as a fade-to-black sort of thing, and moved the porn into its own story. ... And then I wonder how I end up with so many WIPs. It’s because all my ideas bud off into multiple fics lol. 

Fun Meta Asks for Writers!

#ask meme #answered #nonbinarymerbabe

[pameluke]

a year in writing: 2016 review

Total number of completed stories: 22 

Total word count: 60799

Chronological breakdown:

January  Leverage, The Triple A Job, OT3 Anniversary shenanigans, written for Holly Poly

February The Losers/Kate Daniels Series crossover, Technical Difficulties, Cougar and Jensen meet Kate, written for Chocolate Box

March Brooklyn Nine-Nine, First Aid, Venti Chai Latte Extra Sugar, Throw-Down, Rosa & Amy, Three ficlets about their friendship, written for Purimgifts

April Shadowhunters, Take My Hands And Close Your Eyes, Alec/Magnus, First Date, First fic for the new pairing and fandom of my heart. SW: The Force Awakens, A Force To Be Reckoned With, Poe/Finn/Rey, Threesome sex with the Force!, written for Smutswap, my first smut ever :) SW: The Force Awakens, Open Doors, Open Hearts, Poe/Finn/Rey moving in together. Written for Ship Swap.

May Shadowhunters, A Positive Result, Alec/Magnus, Magnus & Alec & Jace, Magnus dealing with parabatai shenanigans

June River Lea - Adele, reeds growing out of my fingertips, water demons and possessions, written for Jukebox Spartacus (1960), Sing, Antoninus, Antoninus/Spartacus, written for myoldfandom

July Shadowhunters, all that is loved does now glitter, Alec/Magnus, Glitter Marking and Sex Magic, written for not_primetime Shadowhunters, Double The Trouble, Alec/Magnus, Izzy/Simon, the dangers of double dating, written for not_primetime

August Shadowhunters, Nothing In The World, Alec & Izzy, Missing scene Shadowhunters, Glitter By The Water Front, Alec/Magnus, Kate Daniels Fusion Meet Cute, written for Malec Week Shadowhunters, When She Talks, I Hear Revolution, Izzy/Lydia, co-written with @thisissirius and @canadiansuperhero , underground radio, rebellion and romance, written for pod_together, also voiced a Seelie OC.

September Shadowhunters, a little too much, could never be enough, Alec/Magnus, jewellery kink and blowjobs, first part of the Magnus’ Dick Is His Demon Mark series, written for iddyiddybangbang

October Aliens/Pacific Rim, Running Out Of Days, Ripley/Hicks, Ripley finds a new Drift Partner, while mourning her first one, written for crossovering Kate Daniels Series, True Nature, Kate/Curran, Monsters and Magic in a Labyrinth, written for trickortreatex

November One of my goals was to post a story every month, but November sucked balls on a personal and global scale, so I failed. Did work on Yuletide and other fics, just didn’t finish anything, alas.

December Shadowhunters, ever the tears you wept, Alec/Magnus, my take on soulmate fic where one half is immortal Shadowhunters, Armchairs and Paperwork, Alec/Magnus, domestic make-outs on furniture King Arthur (2004), Wild Horses, Bors/Dagonet/Vanora, Dagonet Lives! Featuring the Sarmatian Threesome of my heart. Written for Yuletide.

Other Things I Wrote A weird half fic, half headcanon thing about Alec Following His Heart, Dairy Farmer Level.

So many Dear Author letters for exchanges, I’m always embarrassed about my long-windedness.

Still Stuck In The WIP Folder A treat for Yuletide that I’m only half way in, will probably try and finish it either for NYR, or stalk my recip and see if they request it in another fic exchange to treat them there.

The RomCom I started for Unconvential Courtship, in which Alec and Magnus only get together years later at the Clace Wedding, and need to Fake Date For Political Reasons. Currently at 13k, 5 chapters in, at least 10 to go.

The Cupid AU in which Alec is a cupid who shoots Magnus for someone else in 1700, cue 400 years of pining. 2k in, got boggled down by historical research and magic wordlbuilding.

The Chess Date, sequel to the First Date Fic, 1k so far, but got stuck.

About 5k worth of various outlines and plotideas, including the Phoenix!Alec fic, a bunch of fic ideas for the World Inverted AU, the Izzy and Alec are parabatai fic, more Kate Daniels fusion, and the DragonHeart AU which I plan to co-write with siri.

So much to write and finish!

Overall Thoughts: Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

This year I published more words than in all my other years of fandom combined! Other milestones include: posted over 100k words total to my AO3, posted my first smut (which also was my first PWP), and participated in over 10 challenges. I also think I wrote more this year than I ever did before, but I’m not entirely sure because I didn’t count words for unfinished things in 2015.

Wrote exactly 0 words original work this year, which I didn’t see coming either. Guess the new fandom took it all out of me.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

Shadowhunters, the new shiny fandom of my heart. I didn’t expect I’d ever feel about a show like I did about Spartacus, and it’s not completely the same, but fuck I am INVESTED, and I am still super inspired. It’s just a canon with many many hooks for me to grab on to, and I guess I have. Only two more stories to go, and it’s officially the fandom I’ve written most for, never did see that coming.

Did you take any writing risks this year? 

I wouldn’t call it risk taking per se, but I did leave my comfort zone and had a bunch of fanfic first times. I wrote Star Wars (which is super intimidating fandom wise for some reason), I actually wrote for a lot of fandoms I hadn’t written for before. I wrote smut and PWP, and I even wrote a fill for a kinkmeme.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? 

Goal for next year is definitely to let my kink flag fly more, and write the things I’d like to see more of. Try my hand at some f/f smut. 

I’d really like to keep writing steadily, so I’ve signed up for Get Your Words Out, to keep my output steadily.

I also really want to finish my WIPS, especially the RomCom, because First Chaptered Story if I do. 

And I’d like to get back into my Original Work. I actually have a lot of half finished stories and plot outlines lying around, I really want to finish something next year.

On the wishlist is also to participate in NaNoWriMo again next year, but the job might get in the way of that alas.

From my past year of writing, what was...

My favorite story of the year:

Fuck this is hard, because I’m one of those people that writes mostly to still my own hunger, so I tend to really like my own stories (I laugh a lot at my own jokes as well). I guess it would be all that is loved does now glitter, because it gets me right in the id of feelings. It’s the story of myself I’ve reread most. Also, slap fights.

My best story of this year:

I think reeds growing out of my fingertips. I thought if the basic plotline while driving through four european countries at night, and the last image, of the posessed girl diving off the damm was the first thing I came up with. Jukebox is very close to origfic, and I think I really got the creepiness and plot right with this one.

My most popular story of this year: 

By hits, kudos, comments and bookmarks all that is loved does now glitter wins by a landslide. I guess because it’s porn with feelings and features Magnus being his magical self.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: 

Sing, Antoninus for the Kubrick Spartacus. I adapted Latin Poetry for this story, yo. I love all things Spartacus, but the Kubrick movie is very precious to me, and I wish more people still felt that way. Alas, there’s not much of a fandom for this movie, so no one thinks of looking up fic for it.

Most fun story to write: 

Sometimes I really like cracky fic, and I tend to be the only one who finds myself funny, so probably either the Dairy Farmer Thing, or A Positive Result. The funnest experience was totally working together with Siri and Ray for Podtogether though, nothing beats that.

Story with the single sexiest moment: 

Alec coming because Magnus’ toe ring scrapes his calf in a little too much could never be enough. Runner up would probably be Alec kissing Magnus’ toe ring in the same story. Magnus and his jewellery is pretty much the sexiest thing in fandom, imo.

Story with single sweetest moment:

If we’re going for sweetest then I’d pick Izzy distracting Alec with fashion choices in Nothing In This World, because all the Sibling Feelings always. If we’re going for sappiest then I’d pick the Beauty & the Beast Library scene from Take My Hand And Close Your Eyes because Magnus being magical with his magical mood lightning and Alec being in awe.

Hardest story to write:

Definitely A Force To Be Reckoned with, because Star Wars is intimidating as fuck to write for if you never have written in that canon before. Plus there was the whole first time smut writing aspect, and the sex with the Force thing, so I struggled a lot. Still super pleased with the end result though.

Easiest story to write: Glitter By The Waterfront practically wrote itself. I just really love writing in the Kate Daniels setting (I wish it took off like Hogwarts AUs, honestly, it's just so fun, and the magic is so awesome), and Alec and Magnus fit so well there. I pretty much wrote it in a day which almost never happens. Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:  Before writing Running Out Of Days, I never really took Ripley's grief for her daughter into account. Or well, I knew she was mourning, but it wasn't part of the emotional impact for me. Writing Amanda as both Ripley's daughter and the Drift Partner she lost really hammered that home for me though, and I now watch Aliens differently.

Favorite Title: all that is loved does now glitter, with miles ahead. I'm just proud of thinking of it, it fits Magnus and the story so well, and it's the only title I ever got a compliment about (and by someone not even into the fandom! although I lured them in by now). I'm just ridiculously fond of it. Favourite Opening Line:  The song of her sisters is sweet and mellow, a brook flowing over pebbles, made round and soft by water and time. (x) Favourite Closing Line: “I don’t need to find them,” he said and kissed Magnus again. “I’m already the happiest I can be. I picked you.” (x)

Favorite Line from Anywhere: Here in this bathroom, while he looks like a disco ball threw up on him, with Magnus standing next to him, looking soft and thoroughly bedded and touching him so tenderly, he truly, finally feels like he belongs. (x)

Fic-writing goals for 2016: 

Write a minimum of 75k Post a story every month Finish at least one WIP of over 10k  

#jan by jan #jan writes fic #a year in review #shadowhunters #brooklyn 99 #kate daniels series #and others #challenges and exchanges