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ephemerlskies · 4 years

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constant craving 03 | jjk

⇢ pairing: jungkook x reader

[other members - seokjin]

⇢ genre: drabble series, ANGST, bestfriend!au, unrequited love, the same idiocy just in a different font

⇢ word count: 4k

⇢ warnings: explicit language, alcohol consumption (drunk jungkook makes his first and final appearance enjoy it while you can), vehicular misdemeanor (drive the speed limit kids), an all out emotional and verbal brawling, a lack of communication on one end and a communicational vomit on the other, seokjin appearance for about .02 seconds, the entirety of this is just.... angst

⇢ summary: your dates with Seokjin had become a somewhat consistent fixture in your schedule, however, jungkook's itinerary seemed to clash with yours when he called you after a night of drinking for reasons you assumed to be him helplessly pleading for a safe return home.

♪ playlist: constant craving - k.d. lang, bad religion - frank ocean, misunderstood - lucky daye, neu roses - daniel caesar ♪

╰ series index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

a/n: whew, okay.... this was probably the most argumentative fic i have ever written so prepare yourself. i hope you all enjoy this god awfully angsty installment of the series! also, yes, jungkook is a sentimental drunk and you all know it

part three: i love you

It's true. It's always the biggest pills that are the most difficult to swallow. And if you could compare someone as elusive as Jungkook to anything, it would be the largest pill imaginable. The kind that hurts the first try, then when you drink half your body weight in water, the Jungkook-emblazoned pill forces down your esophagus no easier than the first gulp. You were still holding it in your mouth, pretending that pill wasn't about to dissolve and stain your mouth forever.

And that was the whole process, just to get over Jungkook. Because getting over him wasn't a one-step program. It was waking up everyday, training and retraining your mind not to think of him first thing in the morning. It was resisting the urge to press the send button on multiple texts and funny videos you knew would make him laugh. It was refusing his calls and every memory that would saunter in your mind and compel you to ask him to watch a movie or order takeout.

It was saying yes to Seokjin when he asked you on a date. And, it was doing your best to sever that instinct of yours to ask Jungkook for advice.

But old habits die hard, and this one still clung onto the bit of breath it wielded. That explained why your idiot of a best friend was sitting on your couch, offering half-hearted nods whenever you would walk out draped in a new outfit.

"Okay, this one?" You twirled around, as if doing so would make you any less skeptical of how you looked. And you were never one to scrutinize your appearance so closely, but this was the date. The one that might light the torch to a brighter romantic future and lead you to someone other than the man who could never be yours to begin with.

"Yeah. Cool." At this point, five outfits in, he wasn't paying any attention at all. He couldn't even bring himself to pretend, his eyes lazily fixed onto your dvd player.

"Jungkook, you didn't even look! Let me guess. You wanna play video games. Is that why you're giving fuck-me-eyes to my T.V. set?" You knew a laugh was far along, but you hoped that would get some sort of reaction out of him. Unfortunately, your words were barely registered for a good ten seconds, though, it felt much longer.

"Hm? Oh, sorry. Just tired, I guess." Jungkook said through barely parted lips. You knew when he couldn't even pronounce his words properly, something he took more seriously than others due to the hauntings of a certain speech impediment, there was definitely something wrong.

Things felt off from the moment he walked into your house. Judging from the way he avoided your hug, that alone suggested a sort of imbalance. It was a casual greeting exchanged between the two of you so often that when you lifted your arms to embrace him, it was born of reflexive association. Like Pavlov's dog, trained to hug him the moment you saw him. But the oddity of him almost discretely walking past you before any contact could be made wasn't where the tension bordered.

Following his arrival, he would have littered a few snarky remarks about how messy your kitchen was, while already scavenging through your fridge, just to get a rouse out of you. And Jungkook wouldn't call himself a connoisseur of all things fabric and fashion, but he surely would have a few thoughts consisting more than two-worded responses. But he just sat on your couch, armed with a face any poker player would commend, and gave you insincere cool's or nice's when need be.

"Okay, what's up? Is it Irene?" You sat down since taking a break to figure out what Jungkook was thinking felt better than continuing your self-absorbed fashion show.

"Kinda... We broke up. Well, she broke up with me or... I don't know. It was weird." It bothered you a bit too much that he didn't even look at you. But if he had, then you would have seen a film of red dousing his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Kook. Is there anything I can do? Anything at all? Want me to egg her house?" This time, he did laugh. You felt relieved he could at least ease slightly back into his expressive self, even if it was just a fraction of what he usually was. A fraction of Jungkook was more than enough for you.

"Nah, no need to go to jail for me. It's not like I didn't see it coming, and apparently she felt the same. Whatever." He let out a sigh that sounded trapped in for a while, then sat up. "We have more important things to worry about."

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe that. Jungkook, literally a week ago you told me she was the love of your life! And now you're just like 'yeah, whatever, I saw it coming.'" You used your notorious 'man voice', which was just yours lowered a few octaves, knowing it would crack another smile along Jungkook's lips. "Come on, I know you love her. This must hurt a lot. I wish... I wish there was something I could do."

You knew exactly what you were doing. Self-sabotage under the guise of consoling your friend. Clearly, it was selfish and regressive to use Jungkook's heartbreak as a means to avoid doing what you could never do before, what you knew deep down you probably would never be able to do: swallow that pill. And what felt even more pathetic than that was the stale, yet persisting hope that he would ask you to stay.

And that's when reality gave you the most gutting and obvious sign. Jungkook was your best friend, the man you had to lug home when he was too drunk to drive, let alone speak coherently or stand. He was the person that buys you ice cream when you're sad, but just as quick to cancel plans with you when Irene needed him. He was just a friend. You'd never be the person he chose, and it nearly made you angry at him for not seeing it all this time.

So, what he said next made everything he was most likely unaware of all too clear to you.

"No, you go have fun. I'll just... chill here?" It was his avoidant way of asking to stay the night, because you knew him to never sleep alone when he had an ache in his heart. "Maybe raid your pantry and use your Netflix account to binge some shows?"

"Fine. Only 'cause I can't say no to you when you're like this." His smile was reimbursement enough for all the food you'd have to restock and the electricity bill that would be higher than usual.

But what he did next, you could almost never forgive him for. It was so subtle, as though it could have passed as an accident or an act he was trying to perform secretly, without any intention of you even noticing. And how could you not notice? The far too temporary and entirely disarming linger of his hand on yours.

Now, you were always one to decipher his most subtle mannerisms, but this one felt beyond the reins of your perceptiveness. It could have been a small gesture of a thank you, but the gentle, and what one could even describe as sentimental, way his skin pressed against yours bore no semblance of a mere expression of gratitude. And it wasn't possible this was a caress of love, because he was already low on currency in that field, spending it completely on Irene.

So, what was it?

How would you describe the way he rested his hand on yours, as if asking you to stay without words, yet punctuating it quick enough to justify it a coincidental form of contact, that your hand just happened to be where his hand was?

"Well, I'm gonna go eat through my problems." Jungkook stood up before you could bat away the wetness in your eyes from your momentary refusal to blink, as if that would somehow help you visualize the meaning of what just happened.

"Oh- Okay. I, um... I should get going." So you did. You walked out your door, and made a decision beyond the demands of your devotion to Jungkook.

Because it probably meant nothing, and he was your best friend, after all.

---

It was easy with Seokjin. And surprisingly enough, that wasn't a bad thing.

You had come to realize everyone craves that passionate kind of love because, in the movies, that's the blueprint for what love should feel like. But that's all it is, something pretty and shiny enough to work into a film. Make believe. And it could never extend beyond the realm of silver screens, where best friends don't magically fall in love and passion awarded more broken hearts than you could count.

Besides, your heart was worn.

See, your heart is a muscle. It works itself to the bone keeping you alive, willing your lungs to breathe, administering blood to each vein and so on. To strain it for someone who was already in love was functionally inefficient. The heart, like any other muscle, grows tired. It can exhaust itself the same way your hand aches after writing for too long.

You needed a break from the gripping emotional aerobics that is and was loving Jeon Jungkook. So, it sufficed that Seokjin was easy. No more overexertion, no more aches and pains and residual soreness occupying your chest, no more of any of that. Because you knew Seokjin liked you, which was safe and easy knowing there was no point mapping out the possible meanings of every inflected word or shrug or smile. They were simply words and shrugs and smiles with him.

And yet, the thing about giving your heart a 'break' is the period succeeding it. When you were finished resting, you knew who would be waiting for you. Who you would always wait for.

"___! Hello?! I can't hear you! It's too loud!" It wasn't really that loud, your idiot of a best friend was just that drunk. You couldn't tell what concerned you more, the fact that his hearing degenerated when he was, from the sound of it, seven shots deep or that this was the third of alcohol-induced call for this week.

"Where are you?" You asked through a sigh, eyes trained on your Twitter feed and ears occupied with the urgent voice blaring through the speaker phone.

And since it was the third time this week, you were not even half-amused by the repetitive stunt he was pulling.

"I don't know... I walked out and now I'm out and I don't know." The hiccup following his messy sentence was comically textbook 'too drunk'. “Hey, we should take a trip! We should, like, go somewhere!”

“The only place you should be going is home.”

“See, I would totally do that, but I have no idea where I am. Why are these street signs so hard to read?” The end and beginning of each word blended together, rendering that sentence one long, slurred word.

By now, the step by step plan synthesized by you had been memorized. And even though you labored your brain to rewire any feelings leaving you at his beck and call, it clearly hadn't been proficient since your keys had already been gathered and his whereabouts programmed in your GPS via his location services.

"You're so annoying." It might have been rude of you to want him to feel guilty, but it was just as rude of him to interrupt your one night off, which was supposed to be spent with Seokjin, with his intoxicated antics. "I'm coming to pick you up."

"Yo- u are? I love you sooo much. You're the best friend ever, ya know that?" Overly emotional professions was your que to drive fifteen miles over the speed limit so he didn't do something stupid enough to land himself in an ICU.

"Okay, I'm almost there. I think I see you. Wave for me?"

The slumped silhouette you were squinting at began to frantically throw its arms side to side, making you both laugh and pull over so he could drag himself into your passenger seat. And, if you were being honest, he looked better as the blackened shadow of himself.

Jungkook, in all his glory, had his shirt almost fully turned backwards, hair ruffled into a mess, and face as red as the time you and him laid on the beach until your skin punished you with a second degree burn. And all those factors didn't amount to how he smelled like he bathed for hours inside a hand sanitizer bottle.

"God, you're a mess, Jungkook." You said that as jokingly as possible, but meant the sternness embedded in each word. Jungkook was a mess, physically and mentally.

"Hey! You're judging me! Stop being th-o mean, ___." Whenever he was this drunk, his lisp made more appearances in his speech than when he wasn't.

You hated how easily it reminded you of when you were in middle school and he was still navigating and rehearsing through his speech patterns. In middle school, when he was the sweet boy with his only fault being his lisp, who gave you his hoodie and a compassionate smile upon meeting you because your current bully plotted the embarrassment of a lifetime with that piece of chocolate on your seat. In middle school, when Jungkook was the only person in your grade who was kind enough to be kind and true to his word when he pledged his loyalty as your best friend. Forever.

With just one word, you were that timid little middle schooler again, helplessly and unconditionally in love with Jungkook.

Hauling Jungkook, who was more muscle than bone and flesh, over to his door was an art form you had trained, practiced, and mastered about thirty or so times before this one. He weighed about twice as much as you could normally carry, and nonetheless, he was out of your car and in his house in no time.

After you locked the door, you turned around to meet Jungkook, rendering the door frame into a crutch and effectively detaining you between his body and the solid wood behind you.

If you weren't so reminiscent in the car seconds before this, then the vodka-scented souvenir on his breath would have gagged you. However, being this close to him, feeling the warmth of his body consuming and overpowering yours, just made you want to sink into him even more and give him everything you had to offer.

His head was hung so when you looked up, you were greeted with Jungkook's lazy smile that gave his lips a boyish asymmetry and draped his eyelids halfway down his irises. And he had you spooled around him so tightly, this look just made him all the more appetizing.

"Kook, we gotta get you to bed, buddy." You tried to ward him off by weaponizing the most strictly platonic nickname you could think of, partnered with a neighborly pat on the back.

It was mostly to remind yourself that this man, who was an inch too close to your face, was your friend, and that in less than ten minutes you were expected to see Seokjin, but from the way he was looking at you, as if he reached into the depths of your heart to devour all your feelings for him and make them his own, you had to remind him of the universally accepted best friend boundaries.

No deep, romantic gazing into each other's eyes. No intimate activity that could be a precursor to anything more affectionate than a hug. No doing exactly what you two were doing as of now.

"Don't call me that." You hoped his aggression against what you said was merely his inebriated irrationally talking, and as always, his emotions were far beyond his control.

And, shamefully, you also hoped it was because he actually did feel the way you felt. What if he wanted the date that Seokjin was going to get tonight and he wanted all the hand holding and none of the back patting, a 'baby' instead of a 'buddy'?

"What? You're drunk-"

"Don't." Before you could drag him by the arm to his bed, a firm palm settled on your torso and closed the gap between you and the door while widening the gap an inch further between Jungkook and his bed, where he would fall asleep without the warmth of the only person he wanted. "___, please."

His voice was strangled with desperation and Jungkook was depleted of all resistance. He just needed to drink you up. To fill himself with the nourishments of your lips, your body, you.

"What-" He could have silenced you easily with a 'shh' or a finger to your lips. Or anything to your lips except his lips.

His lips. They were greedy and giving all at once. Making soft and intimate ministrations against yours as he kissed you before you had the chance to register what was going on. And even when you did, you let his tongue slide into your mouth. This moment was brimming with all the spontaneity you could ever be prepared for, and though it was new, there was no denying that kissing him felt like finally coming home just from the amount of times you had played this moment out in your daydreams. Plus, Jungkook seemed to ease his tongue along yours a bit too confidently for this to be the first time the idea of kissing you has ran through his mind.

You're being stupid, you told yourself and Jungkook, but that didn't matter when you were finally allowed a taste of what it felt like to be kissed and touched and possibly even loved by Jungkook.

Your shirt was bunched halfway up your torso, his body pressed to your front a reprisal for the chill of the door against your back. Jungkook was, admittedly, a phenomenal kisser even when the lens of sobriety wasn't available to him. The way he ran his hands along the bare of your back like some desperate pilgrimage to discover the undiscovered parts of your body and took your bottom lip between his teeth like it was his to begin with was nearly enough to undress you from all your defenses, from all your clothing, from every single barrier that kept you from Jungkook for the past twelve years and let him have you. And finally have him. It was nearly enough.

Your hands divorced his body from yours before your lips and heart were ready to let go. It was painful, but the heartbroken look wringing his face into a tearful frown was even more so.

"No." You pushed him away further only to walk past him and seek refuge in the open space of his living room. "You don't get to do this."

"What? What does-"

"You don't get to drunkenly kiss me, Jungkook. You don't get to hold me and kiss me like you love me. It's not fair."

"Hey-"

"Because you don't. You don't love me..." If you weren't too busy finally permissing the hot words to boil over from pure anger, then you would have felt the even hotter tears wetting the expanse of your cheek.

"Well, how the hell would you know that?" His voice drowned out the loud pumps of blood beating in your ears like a drum.

"Because it would have happened ten years ago, Jungkook! Jesus, it would have been obvious from the beginning. So if you love me, if you really love me, then it wouldn't be happening now, like this. When you were drunk out of your mind and still vulnerable from Irene."

"You don't know anything." If that were the case, then Jungkook somehow knew even less than you.

"Yeah, clearly. I didn't know you'd stoop this low. I thought I was a lot of things to you. But I never thought I'd be some rebound."

"A rebound? You think that's what this is?" Jungkook seemed upset, but to your knowledge he had absolutely no reason to be angry with you.

He was, as always, displacing the burdens he didn't feel like dealing with on you, moderating you into an emotional punching bag. But what hurt more than those scrapes and bruises, was the aftermath of letting him fuck his worries away which would have consisted of him telling you the next morning that it meant nothing, expecting you to nod demurely, maybe even console him, and act like your chest hadn't been emptied and filled with his baggage in the most murderous way.

"Fuck you."

"Wow. You're really being like this? You really wanna talk about this now?

"You know what? Yeah I wanna talk about it. I wanna talk about the years. The years, Jungkook, that I've spent loving you! I- I wanna talk about the amount of times I've spent thinking about you when you were with her, and I probably didn't even cross your mind. Or how about the fucking thousands of times I've spent crying over you because I knew I was never going to be the one you'd want to wake up next to! And I had to watch! I had to fucking watch you fall in love over and over and probably wonder why I didn't fall in love either. It was you. It was always you, Jungkook."

"___, I-"

"No." His attempt to intervene was quickly denied. You were too angry to let him speak, too tired to carry these grievances any longer. "You don't get to talk. It's all out there. I loved you. I still love you! Fuck, I'm trying to get over you. And it's like you know. It's like you can read my mind or something and strike right when I'm about to recover from the last wound."

Your breathing was as heavy as Jungkook's was shallow. He could only stand, breathlessly, only curse himself for ever being so blind and regret taking advantage of your love even if it were entirely unknowingly, just to let his heart sink deeper until it fell completely out of his chest while his tears fell just as heavily.

"I'm done, Jungkook. I'm tired of trying to outrun you in this race that you're not even competing in. I'm tired of loving you. So, I'm done."

All the words Jungkook wanted to say, the words pleading for sound, carving deep gashes in his throat and leaving him vocally impaired, could never amount to the apology you deserved. Maybe this once, he wouldn't leave you wounded. He would gather the nobility to shut up and let you move on from him. Because you wouldn't know from his lapse of silence that he was empathizing with every bit of pain he caused you, and he hated himself more than you did right now for allowing such a pain to ever fall in your hands. But, where you knew you could someday forgive him for it, he knew he would never forgive himself.

He could scrounge for a few things to respond with, pour the weight of his emotions into the scarcity of his words, but he needed to let you leave and be selfless for once in his life.

"I should go. Drink some water before bed, okay?" You mumbled to choke back your tears, though it wouldn't matter letting a few more tears escape since you were previously sob-ranting and he'd seen you cry like this a hundred times before. He was the shoulder you never thought you'd have to miss leaning on, but walking out of his door punctured a hole in you. An empty space in your heart designed for the one person who had crushed the rest of it.

If this were a movie, with star-crossed lovers and a fiery infatuation blooming into what everyone secretly wants: true love, then Jungkook would have ran out of his door and held you close, professing his undying love for you. He would have won you back, reassembled your broken heart into fullness, kissed you beneath the brilliance of the moon, and lived happily ever after.

But this wasn't a movie, and he did none of those things.

Instead, he stumbled his way into his kitchen. He poured himself that cup of water you advised. He thought about how even when you swore to him you were done, you spared a bit of compassion to remind him to take care of himself. He wondered how deserving he was of everything you are. He touched his lips, searching for the echo of yours. He fell into his queen-sized bed meant for two, alone, and whispered the words that were ever eclipsing to the space beside him where he longed for you to lay so you could hear them for yourself.

"I love you."

a/n: sorry to put you through that, but the idea was born and i am but a humble vessel to bring it to life <3 hehe thank you all so much for reading and like i said, don't worry there will be a happy ending!!! (and possibly a longer-than-drabble final chapter to this series)

#bangtanarmynet #btsgoldnet #ficswithluv #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts angst #bts writing #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook bestfriend!au #bts drabble #jungkook drabble #constant craving #rubycoast

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birbleafs · 3 years

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[fic] A Tragicomedy In Five Acts

Series: Saiki Kusuo no Ψ-nan || The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Rating: T Genre: Friendship, Humour, Breaking the Fourth Wall Character(s): Akechi Touma, Saiki Kusuo, Saiki Kurumi, Saiki Kuniharu, Saiki Kuusuke Warnings: None, save for the canon-typical shenanigans Summary: Akechi has made a habit of showing up unannounced, uninvited at the Saiki residence. The inevitable "bonding" occurs and Kusuo despairs; the world continues to turn. A/N: A piece I wrote for the Disastrous Life Zine, a charity zine. I wanted to share the uncut version here since I like how it reads more (it's not too different from zine version, though). Leftover sales are currently still live, so here's your last chance to grab some limited items if you had missed the pre-orders earlier! Thanks to the mods & other contributors over at @disastrouslifezine, for all their hard work on this project. Many thanks also to my bro Digi for the awesome beta work and for always being an all-round great pal ❤ Fic can also be read AO3. _______ i. It’s a problem Saiki Kusuo should have—could have—nipped earlier in the bud, when he’d been forced to spend a whole Sunday with Akechi Touma betting on horse-racing. But between Akechi being (begrudgingly) accepted as one of the PK Psychickers to Kusuo having to stop a meteor from slamming into the planet—well, a lot had happened. Akechi had since taken to visiting the Saiki residence at random, with little notice in advance. On his second visit, Mom had invited him in before Kusuo could intervene. If it weren’t for the cupcakes Akechi had brought along—not to mention the terrifying heat of Mom’s demonic glare at the first sign of a protest—Kusuo would have teleported him miles away without hesitation. That’s how Kusuo finds himself now—glowering at Akechi who’s sitting politely in his room and firing a running commentary about nothing and too many things all at once. Resigned, he leans back into his study chair and asks, point-blank: What do you want, Akechi?

“Your mother is lovely as always,” Akechi replies instead, dancing around the question. “I’m grateful she’s gone from remembering me as ‘Pee Boy’ to ‘Kusuo’s Friend Who Only Ever Wets His Pants Occasionally’. Surely that’s a sign we have gotten closer.” It sounds just as terrible as the first—only a simpleton would be okay with that as a defining trait, Kusuo retorts. In any case, we’re hardly more than classmates. So, why are you here again? “I thought you would have realized it by now with your telepathy. But I suppose I can explain it for the sake of the readers!” Akechi beams, holding up a small case in his hand. Don’t just casually break the fourth wall, Kusuo frowns, even as he leans forward for a closer look. Akechi pops the case open and turns towards the game console. “I was recently gifted this game by my cousin, who assured me that, while underrated, it’s still a cult hit among fans. I thought it would be fun to play it together.” Kusuo stares flatly at the title OVERWORKED displayed on the disc as it slides into the console drive, already unimpressed. That is such a blatant rip-off. “Oh, no, it's a completely different game from the one you’re thinking of!” Akechi says. “Here you play as the overworked waiter of a cafe who serves multiple orders at once and takes over the cooking whenever the head chef throws a tantrum and storms right off.” How is that different from OVERC***ED? It is totally OVERC***ED! “Regardless, shall we have a play-off?” Akechi offers the controller to him. “Winner gets this box of cupcakes. I got them from the best pâtisserie in town, which is no easy feat. Why just this morning I left home at the crack of dawn to secure a spot in the queue, and even then, there were already about 30-odd people ahead of me! Who knew it was so popular—A-ah!” Kusuo yanks the controller easily from Akechi’s hand towards him with telekinesis, a glint of determination in his eyes now. Best two out of three levels. Loser also has to leave immediately. Akechi grins knowingly and cracks his knuckles, reaching for the second controller. “You’re quick to assume victory, Kusuo-kun. Very well, then!” Thirty-seven minutes later and Kusuo’s left staring at the final scores, appalled. He would have won if his character hadn’t kept freezing in place and glitching at crucial moments, messing up in the kitchens and sending out wrong orders. How is he always losing to Akechi like this? Clearly the universe is still conspiring against him. “You were so close to beefing my lask score dhoo,” Akechi says shamelessly through a mouthful of strawberry frosting. “And my, deez fupfakes are s’per dhasty!” Are you taunting me now? Kusuo scowls enviously at the cupcake in Akechi’s hand before he huffs, slinking back into his chair. Well, I’ll be staring dejectedly out my window for a bit, so feel free to eat your cupcakes and then leave. But Akechi only laughs then and, to Kusuo’s surprise, moves to place a chocolate cupcake before him. “You’re so melodramatic, Kusuo-kun. I never said the winner can’t share.” ... I guess you didn’t. They spend the rest of the afternoon eating cupcakes. _______ ii. This again? It’s been a month, but Kusuo already feels a sense of gloom settling over him when Akechi steps into the genkan. He would have been fine with leaving Akechi outside blathering away through closed doors for the entire day while he pretended not to be home, but obviously Mom is having none of that. “I’m so glad you’ve been coming over to play with Ku-chan!” she greets cheerfully. “I couldn’t believe it when I first heard, but you and Kusuo are getting along well, huh, Akechi-kun!” Dad says with a sagely nod, looking every bit the part of the morally upright, reliable father. Bold of you to believe such delusional notions of camaraderie, or that you even look the part of an admirable adult, Kusuo comments drily, before turning to leave. “We don’t just get along,” Akechi chimes in reply. “You could even say our friendship is super-califragilisticexpialidocious!” GET OUT. If looks could kill, Kusuo’s current expression is pure genocide. But his parents are already fawning and AH-HYUU-!!-ing at Akechi’s words, tears of joy gushing down their cheeks like an endless waterfall. Kusuo watches in quiet despair as Akechi is readily accepted into their fold with welcomed embraces, a key development in this romantic soap opera. Oi, what’s with the misleading narrative?! We’re not in that kind of fanfic right now! Dad and Akechi hit it off well enough, one thing leads to another, and Kusuo suddenly finds himself roped into playing MECH-O ARENA VR on the WAB station in Dad’s study. Seriously, stop it with the terrible rip-offs of actual games already, Kusuo frowns as he watches Dad’s and Akechi’s characters flitting about on the screen to fight off an incoming attack. “I suppose it’s not very original, is it?” Akechi says, punching the controller buttons in a flurry of movements. “But it’s different enough that we can probably avoid any unwanted copyright lawsuits.” That’s completely beside the point. Dad’s wholly immersed with the game now, so it’s impossible for Kusuo to get rid of Akechi without Dad throwing a childish fuss about losing his new gaming buddy. Not to mention Mom’s uncanny ability to appear with coffee and snacks each time Kusuo had tried to inconspicuously retreat back into his room, all while exuding an ominous aura that effectively dissuaded his need to leave immediately. Good grief—everyone’s being such a pain today, Kusuo sighs, before he finally relents to Mom’s cajoling to team up with her against Dad and Akechi in the final round. He figures it can’t get worse than this anyway. That is, until Kuusuke gets involved. _______ iii. When Kusuo returns home from a quick grocery trip for Mom, he walks into a surprisingly empty living room. He can hear Dad and Kuusuke’s voices from upstairs but for some reason he’s not quite able to perceive the atmosphere within—it’s as if his senses are partially blocked by a cognitive fog with the study engulfed in a dead zone. Must be that prototype “router” Kuusuke had installed in Dad’s study yesterday. Kusuo has zero interest in his brother’s tiresome antics, but is compelled nonetheless to check on them, if only to ensure Kuusuke isn’t playing Mad Scientist and coaxing Dad into yet another deranged human project. He opens the door, nearly lashes out in shock with telekinesis when he sees Akechi staring through the doorway with a creepy, owlish expression. “Oh, were you actually surprised, Kusuo-kun?” Akechi says. “My apologies for frightening you like that.” Kusuo studies the room cautiously, only to realize he’s unable to hear anyone’s thoughts with telepathy. He glares at his brother in suspicion. “Welcome back, little brother!” Kuusuke greets him with a Cheshire grin. “I see you’ve got yourself a new playmate. Hmm? Ah, you must think it strange that I've taken to Akechi-kun so readily.” Strange and highly dubious, Kusuo counters. What are you scheming? “Well, Akechi-kun shows the most potential and capacity for mental growth amongst the lesser primates close to you—” What a disparaging worldview. And stop deflecting! I know you can still understand me. “—So, he may yet make a good test subj—Ah, I mean, a good friend! Interesting specimens tend to gravitate towards you, after all. Though his propensity for peeing sure is troubling, isn’t it? Haha!” You can excuse questionable human experimentations, but you draw the line at incontinence? Kuusuke attempts a nonchalant shrug. “Priorities, amirite?” “But this is amazing, Kuusuke-san,” Akechi says, glancing up in awe at the blinking device on the ceiling. “The telepathy canceller really does block our thoughts efficiently!” “It’s child's play compared to Kusuo’s abilities,” Kuusuke says, seemingly modest, but Kusuo doesn’t miss the devious glint in his eyes when he reaches into his coat pocket to pull out what looks suspiciously like a detonator with a giant red button. “Still, with this, Operation SM☆SH can now finally commence—” Wait, Operation what?? Kuusuke, don’t you dare...! But Kuusuke is already pressing the button, and the study is plunged into darkness as the lights flicker off and the blinds draw shut. Alarmed, Kusuo wrenches the detonator away from Kuusuke’s grip with his telekinesis. What did you just do?! There’s an electronic whirr, a blinding flash, and Kusuo finds himself suddenly staring at a large LCD screen as it emerges from the ceiling. Music blares from overhead speakers as a cinematic opening sequence begins to play. “There you are, Kusuo!” Dad looks up from behind the coffee table where he’d been fiddling with the game console. He adjusts the VR headset over his eyes. “It’s time to finally beat you at SUPER SM☆SH BUDS as payback for last time! HII-YAAAH!!” ... Oh. So it’s just another game. “That’s right!” Kuusuke claps his hands together, blissfully ignoring the heat of Kusuo’s baleful glare. “I heard about your horse-racing bet from Akechi-kun and found this as the best way to even the odds for other types of games.” “The idea came to me while peeing in the shower; to find ways you could play and not get bored easily, Kusuo-kun,” Akechi adds in unnecessary detail. “But I didn’t think Kuusuke-san could actually pull it off.” “Here, Kusuo,” Dad says, waving his controller. “Come choose your character—” But Kusuo’s already teleporting away, fleeing the wretched upheaval within his own home to hide at Cafe Mami for the rest of the day. _______ iv. Akechi corners him after school three weeks later. Kusuo is surprised and unsurprised all at once; he had worn the germanium ring to class, after all, in a bid to avoid spoilers for the direct-to-streaming release movie adaptation of a book he’d been fond of. It’s easy to ignore everyone’s spoilery chatter when it isn’t droning directly into his mind—he’d kept his fingers stuck into his ears each time class ended, oblivious to the strange looks thrown his way, and had even hidden away in the restroom cubicle during breaks, successfully avoiding any interaction with the usual human nuisances. Until now, that is. “Let’s walk home together, Kusuo-kun!” Akechi calls, jogging after him. I’m suddenly deaf and sound has eluded me, Kusuo deadpans as he breaks into a sprint, determined to leave before Akechi starts blabbing spoilers. “I noticed you weren’t quite yourself today,” Akechi continues, catching up with him. “And I thought it might have something to do with the ring on your left index finger that you’ve fondled precisely seventeen times throughout the day.” What an awful way to describe it. I didn’t fondle anything. “Perhaps the material of that ring works in the same manner as the telepathy canceller—which would explain why you seemed uncharacteristically skittish today since you’re pretty bad at discerning people’s intentions without your telepathy.” What are you? A psychic? But Akechi only persists. “I realized later that you’d always leave whenever anyone started talking about that new movie on Netfl*x—” Can’t hear now, Kusuo slaps his hands over his ears. Gone horribly deaf. “And I figured it must be that you haven’t watched it yet for some reason, like maybe your home internet is down because your father forgot to pay the bills for three whole months and so it got cut—” How did you even..? Kusuo grimaces. N-nope, not listening! 100% deaf! “I know you don’t have a mobile phone to watch it on either,” Akechi continues. “So, that’s why I wanted to invite you to my house today, to watch it together. Oh, don’t worry, I know absolutely nothing about the movie. In fact, I’d only heard Kaidou-kun screaming out the title just ten minutes ago.” Kusuo pauses then, glancing back at Akechi in hesitance. Akechi only meets his wary gaze with a knowing smirk, and says, “We also have strawberry shortcake in the fridge.” _______ v. I don’t suppose there’s a good reason this time either, Kusuo sighs wearily, closing his book. Still, there’s a glimmer in his eyes; he knows Akechi had come bearing gifts—a selection of coffee jellies topped with cherries and chocolate drizzle. “I’ve made a habit of crashing your place unannounced, haven’t I?” Akechi offers a contrite grin, watching as Kusuo helps himself to a spoonful of jelly. “I do apologize, but whenever I get restless, I find myself wandering here by instinct. Admittedly, I was worried about being a bother, but your mother is always so welcoming at the door despite that dreary, constipated look in your eyes—” You are being a bother. Like a persistent mosquito that thinks it's summer all year round, Kusuo grouses with his Most Annoyed Expression, knowing how ineffectual his Feigning Ignorance Face had become over time. Also, have you graduated from pee references to shitty jokes now? Disgusting. But Akechi takes it all in stride, undeterred by Kusuo’s ugly grimace and acerbic jibes. “—Plus, it’d be considered extremely rude if I didn’t come in after that, and I certainly do not want you to think of me as rude. You’re a friend I hold in high regard, after all. I always have, ever since I found out it was you who saved me from the bullies back then.” The earnestness in Akechi’s words stumps him, if only a little. And though Kusuo is careful to keep his surprise from showing, there’s a part deep down in his not-so-granite heart that feels a touch of warmth at the sentiment. Akechi’s already placing the Scrabble board on the floor, so he misses the ghost of a smile that crosses Kusuo’s lips. Did Akechi honestly think he could beat a psychic at Scrabble too? How naive. “You’re probably thinking how naive I must be, believing I could beat you at a board game with your powers and all,” Akechi notes cheerfully, almost as if he’s a mind-reader himself. Kusuo frowns, slightly disgruntled by the fourth-wall breaking once more and wishes they would give it a rest for once. Overusing a trope gets really tiring, you know? Still, he smiles again as he takes a seat across from Akechi—who is now shuffling the Scrabble chips while nattering away about the history of board games and how the loser would have to give up his share of coffee jelly (as if Kusuo would allow it to come to that again). Two Sunday visits per month only, Kusuo says, lifting several chips into the air with a wave of his hand. If you beat me... I’ll allow it. Akechi’s eyes widen, before he breaks into a playful grin. “Very well, then. May the best man win.” Kusuo only lets out a soft laugh. Perhaps it’s not too late to pick up where they had left off in grade school. —End—

#saiki kusuo no psi nan #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #akechi touma #disastrous life zine #fanfic #please check out and support the other contributors' pieces too !

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sunyoonandstars · 6 years

Text

BTS Reaction 5: They unexpectedly get turned on by usual things you do/wear …

So, this series of reactions was honestly too much fun to write up and is based on the following request:

Thanks to whoever requested this! It turned out to be one of my favorite reactions I did so far! I hope y’all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! 😁

Have fun!

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Scenario The boys find themselves to be turned on by you … well, simply doing what you do, being who you are …

fluff, smut

Word count 2.744

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1. Kim Seokjin / Jin

Seokjin is usually not one to quickly pick up on sexual innuendoes, first and foremost considering you to be cute, lovely and adorable. But as he now enters the kitchen after a long day of work and practice, he is simply breathless. For several reasons. First of all his beloved kitchen is a mess. Secondly, however, there you are, due to the heat outside dressed in not much more than a pair of tight shorts, an excuse of a shirt and his apron, biting your lip lost in thought and focused on the task before you. You’re so preoccupied with chopping vegetables, you don’t even notice him enter the kitchen and sneak up behind you. When you surprisingly back off the stove to evade hot squirts of bubbling tomato sauce, you bump right into Jin, involuntarily pressing your back against his body, eliciting a low chuckle from him. „Whoa, y/n, what are you trying to do here, hmm?“, he teases you. Your reddening cheeks burning, you instinctively attempt to retreat. „I’m sorry, Jinnie, I didn’t know you were there.“ „Yah, don’t apologize, y/n“, he sheepishly grins, tilting his head while leaning over your shoulder to get a better look at your flushed face, wrapping his long arms tightly around your waist, giving you no chance to escape. Your backside being pressed closely to Jin’s front, you can clearly feel his growing bulge. To your surprise. Suddenly not minding his body heat adding on to the already sweat-inducing heat and stuffy summer air, you lean back even further, resting your full body against him, Jin’s slender hands slowly finding their way underneath your apron as you sway your bodies to the rhythm of the soft R&B music running in the background. „This is actually kind of nice, don’t you think?“, Jin whispers into your hair before going on to place a tender kiss on the delicate skin of your neck right underneath your ear. „What do you think, y/n? Can dinner wait for a bit?“ 

2. Min Yoongi / Suga

„Yah, y/n“, Yoongi suddenly growls in a low voice, jolting you out of your daydream and leading you to avert your gaze from the view from the restaurant’s window your seated by and direct it at him instead, questioningly raising an eyebrow at Yoongi’s sudden change of tone. „You’re doing it again.“ His expression deadpan, he impatiently points his chin at you. „Doing what?“, you ask, honestly clueless as to what might have upset him. „You’re biting your lip again, y/n. I told you not to do that anymore. You know how it gets to me“, he mutters, his voice husky, lowered so the guests sitting close by won’t be able to listen in. „Are you doing this on purpose?“ „Whatever are you insinuating!?“, you scoff, making no effort to keep a low profile, not caring if people hear you, actually starting to enjoy the effect your effortless, even subconscious teasing has on Yoongi. Much to his chagrin. He does not look amused. At all. „You know I hate it when you do that, y/n.“ „What?“ „Tease me. Get me all worked up in public like this. You know very well what you’re doing to me right now“, he shakes his head, chin slightly protruding, his tongue making an appearance in the corner of his mouth. You know what that means. „I had no idea, seriously. That lip biting thing is something I do without even being aware of it. It’s a habit.“ „Even worse“, Yoongi simply mumbles, scowling at you from across the table. „And now you’re doing it again.“ Guiltily, you stop chewing on your already sore lower lip. „Well, this time it was your fault though“, you admit, swallowing hard, feeling your cheeks blush as an intense heat slowly but surely starts building up in your lower abdomen, the air in between the two of you literally sizzling with sexual tension by now. You’re unable to avert your eyes from Yoongi’s tongue now firmly placed in his cheek while just the hint of a smirk twists his slightly pursed lips. „What can I get you?“, the unsuspecting waitress unexpectedly intrudes. „I believe we still need about ten more minutes, thank you“, Yoongi replies, his voice slightly hoarser than usual, without even sparing the server so much as a glance. She disappears with a polite nod. As soon as she has left, Yoongi leans over across the table, brusquely grabbing your hand, indicating you to abandon your seat and follow him. „I think we should go powder our pretty noses before she gets back, don’t you think, y/n?“

3. Jung Hoseok / J-Hope

You’re not doing much more than merely sit there by the window, unsuspecting, entirely immersed in the book cradled in your lap, your fingers absentmindedly twirling a strand of hair, oblivious to the fact that you are all the while being closely watched by your boyfriend. Suddenly, you feel Hoseok snuggle up to you, his arms subtly wrapping themselves around your waist from behind and his chin coming to a rest on your shoulder. Nevertheless, you remain engrossed in your reading, your eyes eagerly following the lines before you, not even once deviating from the pages to spare him so much as a glance. „Jagiya“, Hoseok whispers against your neck, gently nibbling at your earlobe, the sensation sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. A distant „Hmm“, however, is all his attempts at being a distraction can educe from you. „Jagiyaaaa“, he goes on to whine after a few more minutes, gradually losing patience when faced with your lack of reaction. „What, Hobi?“, you eventually sigh, still not raising your eyes. „This“, he moans into the crook of your neck, having brushed aside your hair and covering your skin with tender, increasingly urgent kisses, his lips slowly moving from your neck downwards until they reach the rim of your shirt. In order to clarify what he was referring to, he now moves in even closer, letting you feel his growing bulge pressed up against your backside. Accompanied by a surprised chuckle, an understanding „Oh“ now escapes you. „Yeah, oh“, Hoseok softly hums, his lips never once leaving your skin. Smiling, you finally put away your book and turn your head to look at him over your shoulder, leaning down to catch his mouth for a quick, sloppy kiss. He grins at your lips. „How’d that happen, hm?“, you ask, now turning around in his lap, your legs encircling his toned waist. „You were reading.“ „Oh, now me reading turns you on, too?“, you laugh in between kisses. „Yeah. Also, you were doing this thing with your hair. You know, that twirly thing that always makes me go …“ He finishes his sentence with a more urging kiss, skillfully slipping his tongue through your lips to meet yours. „Also, you just being you is turn on enough for me, y/n“, Hoseok breathlessly whispers, seemingly effortlessly getting up and lifting you onto his hips in one smooth movement. „Now, let's take this someplace our neighbors won’t see …“

4. Kim Namjoon / RM

„What? What is it, Joon?“, you inquire as you shed your jacket to place it on the backrest of your chair, confused by the sudden shift in Namjoon’s expression. Mouth agape, he simply stares at you - your chest, to be more precise - slightly tilting his head now, biting his lip. The intense look he’s giving you inspires a hot blush to slowly creep up your neck and tint your cheeks a rosy pink. „Joon, stop staring like that. You’re embarrassing me“, you hiss at him while you take a seat at your table in the back corner of a crowded bar. „What is it?“ His lips tightly pressed together, a roguish grin tugging at them nonetheless, Namjoon now meets your gaze, raising an eyebrow and pointing his protruding chin at the shirt you’re wearing. A plain white shirt. Nothing special at all. „What about that shirt?“ „Who’s shirt is that?“, he answers your question with a question, a telling smile now revealing his compelling dimples, the sight of them once again, even after all this time, turning your knees to water. „I don’t know. I just grabbed it from the bed when you called me. Why?“ Confused, you look down at your top, for the first time actually paying attention to what you’re wearing. „Oh“, you sigh, understanding. „Yeah, right, that’s my shirt, y/n“, Namjoon smirks. „You know full well what you wearing my clothes in public like that does to me. How dare you?“ With burning cheeks, unable to hide the glow of excitement now coating your features, you simply shrug your shoulders, grinning knowingly as you watch Namjoon slowly walk around the table and towards you, the anticipation of his touch sending your heart racing. You can feel your arousal increase by the second, your surroundings, the stuffy air and chattering people filling the bar, the loud music, becoming inexistent the second Namjoon’s hot hands grab you by your waist and find their way onto your bare skin. „Y/n, you know what that means, right?“, he whispers into your ear as he pulls you close, his lips teasing you, barely even grazing your neck. „Your place or my place?“, you ask, leaning into his embrace, your skin tingling under his touch. „How about the car instead?“

5. Park Jimin

Smiling, Jimin watches you from the door. His eyes stay fixed on your figure — only dressed in his oversized shirt and boxers, your hair still messy due to last night’s activities, tied up in a loose bun — as you dance around the kitchen while preparing breakfast, apparently unaware of your audience of one, swaying your hips in time with the sensual beat of the R&B tune blaring from the loudspeakers you just recently had installed. Obviously, you’re loving them. And Jimin’s loving your dancing. A little too much, perhaps. He didn’t even notice his fond smile turn into a lustful lip bite or his erection slowly building up while he was keenly observing your intuitive moves. You’re still so immersed in blending what seems to be batter for pancakes, you don’t even notice Jimin coming up to you. An adorable squeal escapes you when he suddenly wraps his arms around you from behind. „Jimin-ah, you startled me“, you smile, turning your head to meet his lips in a quick kiss before you apply yourself to your cooking again, quickly easing into Jimin’s embrace, his body now swaying in sync with yours. „I’ll be done here soon, baby, you can go and lie back down, watch some TV or set the table. You really shouldn't feel obliged to keep me company. I’ll be fine by myself here.“ „But I won’t be, y/n“, he objects in a whiny voice, hugging you even more tightly now, putting his soft lips to the back of your neck covering it in kisses. „Can’t you tell, baby?“ You actually can now that you slightly shift in his embrace. Startled by the sensation of Jimin’s hard member pressing against your backside, you look at him over your shoulder, eyes wide, cheeks instantly flushed. „Well …“, you start out, your voice, however, surprisingly hoarse, drying up in mid-sentence. Unable to hold back an amused chuckle, you put down the mixing bowl so you can turn around in Jimin’s arms and face him. „What was it this time? My cooking? Seriously!?“ „No. Your dancing, y/n“, he whines, stealing kisses in between words. „What!?“, you gasp, incredulous. „It’s not even that good.“ „But far too sexy. So, since this is clearly your fault —“, Jimin mutters under his shallow breath, kissing you more roughly now, biting your lower lip before disconnecting your mouths as he lifts you on top of the kitchen counter. „— you better take responsibility for your actions.“

6. Kim Taehyung

„I’m here, Tae!“, you announce, smiling broadly as you enter the dorm. „Sorry, I’m late, baby. I was held up on my way here“, you call out, poking your head through the door to the living room where you find Taehyung sprawled out on the sofa, watching some anime he immediately turns off as soon as he becomes aware of your presence. „Don’t sweat it, y/n“, he mumbles as he gets up, breathing a deep sigh. „It’s still early and the weather is perfect. The sun even came out.“ Only now Taehyung turns around to look at you for the first time, his sweet boxy smile quickly turning into something else, indefinable, his expression obviously darkening. „You’re not wearing any makeup“, he states in his deep, low voice, licking his lips as he slowly approaches you, giving you that intense stare of his that, as he knows all too well, still weakens your knees just as it did the very first time he turned it towards you. „Yeah, so?“ „You’re not wearing any makeup“, Taehyung simply repeats that one, simple, seemingly meaningless sentence. However, he gives it a whole new sense, emphasizing each syllable as he lets them leisurely drip from his rosy lips caught in an impish, lopsided grin, relishing every single word, his voice lowered to a husky whisper now that he stands right before you, his head slightly tilted and the deep wells of his dark eyes peering right into your soul, stirring up unexpected feelings. „I know“, you respond, instinctively, involuntarily bringing your voice down to a whisper as well, uncertain as to how to react, unable to deny the clearly growing sexual tension as Taehyung now grabs you by your waist, pulling you against his body. „You’re far too beautiful for your own good, y/n, you know“, he whispers, his eyes still locked with yours, even now that he painfully slowly lowers his lips onto yours, stopping cold in his movements right before they touch, leaving you desperately longing for his kiss and the delicate skin of your lips tingling in anticipation. „I think the amusement park can wait for now“, Taehyung then smirks, grinding his lower body against yours so most certainly can most certainly follow his drift. „I’m actually afraid it has to.“

7. Jeon Jungkook

At first, Jungkook had thought it to be an incredible and enticing idea to work out with you. Now, however, his opinion on the said matter is undoubtedly changing. Drastically. „Yah! Y/n! Stop it, alright!?“ Startled by him suddenly raising his voice at you, you stop cold in the middle of a deep squat, pulling out your earphones as you turn around to look at Jungkook, one eyebrow raised questioningly. „What? Why!?“ „Just … stop, okay?“, he growls, his jaw clenched, stepping up to you from behind. „This really isn’t working for me, y/n.“ „What? Us exercising together? Why? Did I get in your way or something? You should have just said something, Kookie“, you say, shrugging, slowly straightening yourself, going on to stretch your back. „Well, I guess you could say you got in my way, kind of“, he mutters, teeth gritted, throwing an anxious glance over his shoulder at the rest of the members, crowded together and openly gaping at the two of you, apparently amused, giggling abashedly. „What’s so funny to them?“, you wonder aloud, pointing your chin at the six men huddled up to each other, whispering. „Did I do something wrong?“ „Not exactly. Let’s just go, okay. There’s something we need to take care of. In private.“ „What? I don’t —“ Giving you an impatient glare, Jungkook now takes your hand and leads it to his crotch, your fingers making contact with a clearly palpable erection through the thin fabric of his trunks. An understanding „Oh“ slips out of your mouth, followed by a hardly stifled chuckle. „Yeah, oh“, Jungkook repeats, his dark eyes, locked with yours now, burning with lust and frustration. „It’s those damn yoga pants of yours“, he whispers into your ear, his staring hyungs long forgotten, leaning in so close you can feel his hot breath against your skin, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. „And those squats. Damn, y/n, they’re killing me. Admit it, you did this on purpose, right? You knew exactly this would happen. You banked on it. Be honest.“ „Well …“, you grin, guiltily gnawing at your lower lip, an involuntary moan escaping you as Jungkook’s grip around your wrist suddenly tightens. „Bad, bad girl. Now come and take care of this.“

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Hope you enjoyed them and are having a lovely day, wherever you are! Thanks for reading! Take care! 💜

Here you can find my Masterlist if you feel like checking out more of my BTS fiction!

All GIFs used are NOT mine. Credit goes to the initial creators. Thank you for your hard work and dedication.

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eddycurrents · 6 years

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For the week of 13 August 2018

Quick Bits:

Astonishing X-Men Annual #1 is a rather dark tale of reuniting the remaining members of the original five X-Men and the current creature claiming to be Charles Xavier running around as X. Given his attitude in Charles Soule’s run and now in this story penned by Matthew Rosenberg, there still seems to be something very wrong with the once altruistic, peaceful founder of the team. I personally don’t really like this character, but it still leads to a good story from Rosenberg, Travel Foreman, and Jim Charalampidis.

| Published by Marvel

By Night #3 is another fun issue with a bit of a twist as we follow Heather’s father and Jane’s co-worker instead of the women. The voice John Allison gives to Heather’s father, Chip, is hilarious, the perfect mix of no-nonsense “dad” thought and aimless absurdity.

| Published by Boom Entertainment / Boom! Box

Cable & Deadpool Annual #1 is a very entertaining issue of time-travel nonsense and Deadpool being tricked into a recreation of the plot of Terminator from an obsessive stalker. David F. Walker packs this story with humour, creepy lesson teaching, and a bit of a monologue on the nature of comics storytelling. All nicely illustrated by a rogues gallery of Paco Diaz, Danilo S. Beyruth, Nick Bradshaw, Luke Ross, Marco Rudy, Edgar Salazar, Flaviano, Francesco Manna, Leonard Kirk, Chris Sotomayor, and Jason Keith.

| Published by Marvel

Coda #4 packs the issue with more stunning artwork, from character designs to page layouts and panel transitions, by Matías Bergara (with colour assists from Michael Doig). This series is just a visual treat. It also helps that the story from Bergara and Si Spurrier is equally incredible, taking many of the traditional forms and modes of fantasy literature and turning them into something new. The opening poem outlining the fall of the world and the rise of Sir Hum’s wife is particularly inspired.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Coyotes #5 is a welcome return for this series after the trade break, beginning a new story-arc that goes more in depth to the history between the wolves and the grandmothers, as the book’s purpose pivots to the offence. I love the ingenuity of the mythology of this story being built by Sean Lewis and Caitlin Yarsky. Also, like the first four issues, Yarsky’s art is just stunning.

| Published by Image

Crowded #1 is great. The concept of tapping into our current app-driven and crowdfunded world is brilliant, especially as extended to an assassination app in reapr. Christopher Sebela, Ro Stein, Ted Brandt, Triona Farrell, and Cardinal Rae seem to have captured magic in a bottle here and the execution is just phenomenal. The characters of Charlie and Vita are instantly relatable, the premise is on fire, and the art is exceptional. I really want to see what Charlie isn’t telling us.

| Published by Image

Ether: Copper Golems #4 is another stunning visual feast from David Rubín. Seriously, he has outdone himself this issue, as he handles the usual fantasy sequences, then changes art styles several times as we get our characters living out some of their fantasies. His work is just stunning. The story that he and Matt Kindt are telling just keeps getting better and better.

| Published by Dark Horse

Extermination #1 begins the next big X-Men event with a bang as past, present, future, and alternate universes collide in this explosive issue. I feel like discussing just about any piece of it is a spoiler, so I’ll just suggest that if you’re at all interested in the original five brought to our time, you need to read this. Ed Brisson, Pepe Larraz, and Marte Gracia present an impressive opening salvo.

| Published by Marvel

Flavor #4 is a bit of a piece-shuffling issue, as Xoo spends a bit of time in jail and we get a couple more hints as to the something that is being done with children. Although we still don’t know what, and a bit of a revelation of Anant’s mother. Joseph Keatinge, Wook Jin Clark, and Tamra Bonvillain continue to work wonders on this series. Highly recommended for all ages.

| Published by Image

Gideon Falls #6 ups the level of weird in this concluding chapter of the first arc. To say that the implications of that final page are confusing, compelling, and chilling is an understatement, as Jeff Lemire, Andrea Sorrentino, and Dave Stewart construct one of the oddest instalments of this series yet. A lot of this series has been in building tone and atmosphere, spooky unexplained happenings, and here the story goes full David Lynch. It’s wonderful.

| Published by Image

The Gravediggers Union #9 is the conclusion to what has been an exciting and different take on the occult and elder gods mythology from Wes Craig, Toby Cypress, and Niko Guardia. Fittingly, this end comes down to the family conflict that this arc has revolved around, and it’s a well played out finale. I highly recommend this series.

| Published by Image

Hunt for Wolverine: The Claws of a Killer #4 is probably the least satisfying “conclusion” of these minis so far, giving us a kind of hand-wavy explanation for what they were tracking, no insight into the organization who brought about these zombies while resurrecting family members, and Daken shuffled off to who knows where. Mariko Tamaki successfully captures the tone and atmosphere of many of the original Wolverine series stories laced with action and black ops, but unfortunately also carries on its tradition of obfuscation instead of an enticing mystery. Nice art from Butch Guice, Mack Chater, Cam Smith, and Jordan Boyd, though.

| Published by Marvel

Ice Cream Man #6 is highly inventive, even for a series as highly imaginative already that this one is. Instead of one story, here, W. Maxwell Prince, Martín Morazzo, and Chris O’Halloran give us three different flavours to fulfill the “Strange Neapolitan”. It’s a mostly silent issue of three different paths our protagonist can possibly take with each of them presenting their own flavour of horror. This is a really great issue.

| Published by Image

Infinity Wars #2 is pretty damn epic. I know that the pieces will be reshuffled and everything will be put back together more or less as we found it, but hot damn are Gerry Duggan, Mike Deodato Jr., and Frank Martin working overtime to tell a heavy story here. The art is some of the best I’ve ever seen from Deodato and Martin and the stakes have just ratcheted through the roof. I’m loving every moment of this book so far.

| Published by Marvel

The Lost City Explorers #3 is still doling out the tension as the kids continue to try to evade Sagan security on their way to try to find Hel and Homer Coates’ father’s discovery site under New York City. We’re still only get bits and pieces before a revelation of whatever the discovery actually is, but Zack Kaplan, Alvaro Sarraseca, and Dee Cunniffe are still presenting a compelling story.

| Published by AfterShock

Luke Cage #1 is another digital original like Cloak & Dagger and Jessica Jones, and also like the latter series offers two chapters at once, and is really rather good, from Anthony Del Col, Jahnoy Lindsay, and Ian Herring. This sets up an interesting mystery of a strange kind of serial killer, the possibility of Luke suffering from CTE, and the wonderful family dynamic between Luke and his daughter.

| Published by Marvel

The Magic Order #3 continues as a slow burn as Madame Albany and her coterie keep working their way through murdering her family members, all while those family members attempt to track down information on who her assassin is and how to stop him. Mark Millar, Olivier Coipel, and Dave Stewart are crafting a wonderful story here that reminds me a bit of Wanted, but good and about magic.

| Published by Image

Multiple Man #3 takes a particularly dark turn as Matthew Rosenberg, Andy MacDonald, and Tamra Bonvillain toss us into the dark future where an evil Madrox reigns. Of the dark futures where the X-Men stories have taken place, this is probably one of the most twisted, even as Rosenberg peppers it with some nice humour. The throw rug in particular is hilarious.

| Published by Marvel

Ninja-K #10 is a single issue story focusing on Ninja-H and the horrors that soldiers can have to deal with and how they sometimes cope with it. It has some great art from Larry Stroman, Ryan Winn, and Andrew Dalhouse.

| Published by Valiant

Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #308 is probably the best issue of this series since Chip Zdarsky and Michael Walsh’s single issue story of Peter and Jonah hashing it out in issue 6. Zdarsky shows us here that he really excels at getting into the head’s of some of the characters, giving us a good look from their perspective, and humanizing them. He does that here with Flint Marko, the Sandman, and it feels like an interesting transition to something else. It also helps that it’s wonderfully illustrated by Chris Bachalo and his usual team of inkers of Tim Townsend, Al Vey, Wayne Faucher, and John Livesay. This is a great start and I’m excited to see what comes next for this story.

| Published by Marvel

Rumble #6 begins this volume’s second arc and is the other series with glorious David Rubín artwork this week (this one with colours from Dave Stewart). I love this book, with its fun mix of humour and arcane magic and fantasy, and how John Arcudi, originally James Harren, now Rubín have built the characters, the overall story, and the absolutely beautiful artwork.

| Published by Image

Stellar #3 takes an interesting look at the existential price of war and at the notion of “you can never go home again” in this somewhat depressing, but no less entertaining, issue.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Thor #4 is the glorious conclusion to this opening arc sending Thor to Niffleheim to fight Sindr in this leg of the War of the Realms. The artwork from Mike del Mundo is incredible.

| Published by Marvel

Tony Stark: Iron Man #3 builds another largely single issue story into the larger arc, with a beta test of Tony’s new eScape platform. I like how Dan Slott and Valerio Schiti have been approaching this series and building up Stark’s supporting cast, while also progressing the recurring subplot of Bethany Cabe’s subterfuge and X-51′s newfound robot rights activism.

| Published by Marvel

Volition #1 is another interesting debut from AfterShock, this time focusing on a world featuring artificial intelligence that hasn’t sparked an apocalypse, instead adapting and continuing on as just another class within society, fighting to survive and combat prejudice like their human counterparts, as created by Ryan Parrott and Omar Francia. The art is gorgeous and a real driving factor for the story, Francia’s style reminds me a bit of JG Jones and it’s incredible.

| Published by AfterShock

Weapon H #6 continues to be that weird, offbeat comic from Marvel that used to be published in the ‘80s or ‘90s that nobody read, but was actually rather good. Greg Pak has been doing a great job of building up this rather eclectic cast of characters and the art has been wonderful. Here Ario Anindito takes on the art chores with Morry Hollowell and it’s quite nice. His style reminds me a bit of Brian Hurtt mixed with Leinil Yu and it really fits the gritty action of the story.

| Published by Marvel

Weapon X #22 is more irreverent fun with the “new” Weapon X-Force team as they follow the money instead of altruistic reasons for saving people (though their second mission out already sees a reversion to the old remit). It’s a not-so-serious take on what is almost a team entirely composed of villains with a good sense of humour and action from Greg Pak, Fred Van Lente, Yildiray Cinar, and Frank D’Armata. It’s also another good place for some obscure X-mythology insertions and follow-ups in the story.

| Published by Marvel

The Weatherman #3 continues to keep readers a little off balance with some of the elements in the story, echoing what’s going on with out protagonist, Nathan Bright. Jody LeHeup, Nathan Fox, and Dave Stewart are crafting something here that feels a lot like some of the zanier action strips from 2000 AD and it’s pretty glorious.

| Published by Image

Other Highlights: Analog #5, Babyteeth #12, Cinema Purgatorio #15, Crude #5, Deadpool: Assassin #5, Doctor Strange #4, Edge of Spider-Geddon #1, Evolution #9, Infinity 8 #5, Jeepers Creepers #4, Jim Henson’s Beneath the Dark Crystal #2, Jughead: The Hunger #7, Mage: The Hero Denied #11, Manifest Destiny #36, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #30, Mysticons - Volume 1, Proxima Centauri #3, RuinWorld #2, Sherlock Holmes: The Vanishing Man #4, Spider: School’s Out #6, Star Trek: The Next Generation - Terra Incognita #2, Star Wars: Beckett #1, Star Wars: Poe Dameron #30, Summit #8, TMNT: Bebop & Rocksteady Hit the Road #3, TMNT: Urban Legends #4, Usagi Yojimbo: The Hidden #5, The Wicked + The Divine #38, Witchfinder: The Gates of Heaven #4

Recommended Collections: Bettie Page - Volume 2: Model Agent, East of West - Volume 8, Hellboy: The Complete Short Stories - Volume 2, Kill or Be Killed - Volume 4, Old Man Hawkeye - Volume 1: An Eye for an Eye, , Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man - Volume 3: Amazing Fantasy, Rose - Volume 2, Transformers: Lost Light - Volume 3

d. emerson eddy has now been doing this incarnation of weekly round-ups for a year. Has it really been that long?

#This Week in Comics

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rebeccaheyman · 4 years

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reading + listening 10.05.20

We Can Only Save Ourselves (Alison Wisdom), eBook, ARC (pub date February 2021). The comp titles cited in the market copy are totally on-point (Little Fires Everwhere/The Girls/The Virgin Suicides), but I’d also say readers who loved ASK AGAIN, YES and/or BIG LITTLE LIES should have this title on their radar. My four-star review on NetGalley:

Alison Wisdom's tension-filled, haunting debut, WE CAN ONLY SAVE OURSELVES, exposes the dark underbelly of sunny, safe suburbia. When Alice, a native daughter of wholesome Anywhere, USA, decides to follow a mysterious stranger to a decidedly less-wholesome bungalow filled with lost girls, she leaps feet-first into a version of the wider world that puts her very identity at risk.

WE CAN ONLY SAVE OURSELVES is narrated in first person plural, a la The Virgin Suicides or Then We Came To The End. The neighborhood's mothers keep one foot on their front lawns, even as they follow Alice beyond the confines of the old familiar places; the results are as enigmatic as they are specific -- propulsive, even as the distance between "us" and "her" grows. Like all parents, the narrative chorus has eyes everywhere -- "a superpower we gained as we transformed from women into mothers."

The novel drew me along with stunning prose, deftly drawn characters, and a looming sense of impending dread that made it impossible to look away. For all the qualities that sustain it, WE CAN ONLY SAVE OURSELVES reserves one of its finest features for last: it ends perfectly, and in the perfect place. It's so rare to find a novel that says everything that needs saying, but also leaves unsaid a single extraneous word, but this one does it -- and beautifully.

[I received an ARC of this novel from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.]

A Deadly Education (Naomi Novik), aBook (narr. Anisha Dadia). It’s not a stretch to say I am o b s e s s e d with UPROOTED -- so I’ve had this newest title from Naomi Novik on my radar for some time. Friends, it does not disappoint. NINTH HOUSE meets The Winternight Trilogy meets THE HUNGER GAMES in a vividly realized, voice-driven story that will have you pining, probably not for the first time, for the chance to abandon life as you know it and go to wizard school.

Our heroine, Galadriel, is destined to be a Dark Queen and prophesied to reap destruction within the magical community, but she’s fighting her baser instincts to walk a path more aligned with her mother’s more inclusive, love-and-light mentality. This struggle makes life at the Scholomance even harder for El than it usually is -- and it’s usually deadly.

I don’t like to get mired in plot specific in these reviews, but suffice it to say A DEADLY EDUCATION boasts all the thoughtful, detail-rich world-building you’ll find in Novik’s other works, along with a powerful, snarky, savvy heroine; a well-drawn secondary cast; compelling conflict in both episodic mini-arcs and myth-building arcs that will carry through the remainder of the trilogy; and a school that is literally trying to kill its students. It was a fantastic romp from start to finish and I’m already looking forward to a relisten/reread when book 2 comes out.

Anisha Dadia, who I’ve not had the pleasure of listening to previously, knocked this out of the park. Her tone and style remind me a lot of Priya Ayyar, which is high praise in my book.

Angel in the Devil’s Arms (Palace of Rogues, book 2) (Julie Anne Long), eBook. I discovered the first book in this series when Libro.fm featured it in their September Kiss Club recommendations, and the second installment does not disappoint! Julie Anne Long’s style is in line with Tessa Dare or Courtney Milan, in the sense that she gives equal weight and detail to the external, non-romantic elements of the plot as she does to internal/emotional/romance-driven elements. ANGEL takes us back to the Grand Palace on the Thames, where the mysterious return of Lord Bolt sends Angelique’s world into a tizzy. The prodigal viscount is back in London for revenge, but his plans go sideways once love is in the mix. Crossing my fingers that the third book-in-series, due in May 2021, shows up on NetGalley sooner over later.

One to Watch (Kate Stayman-London), eBook. I’ve been trying to up my intake of body-positive fiction lately (and if you are too, please add IT’S BEEN A PLEASURE, NONI BLAKE and ACT YOUR AGE, EVE BROWN to your TBR immediately), so ONE TO WATCH was naturally on my radar. The premise here is that a Bachelorette-style reality TV program casts a plus-size fashion blogger, Bea Schumacher, in the starring role. Stayman-London moves far beyond this premise, though, by integrating public and private media responses to the program itself within the text; blog posts, blog comments, tweets, text threads, Slack chats -- the intertextual input is strong throughout, but the meta-commentary never feels forced or frivolous. I’ve been pushing my authors to utilize intertext more thoughtfully in the past couple years, so I was especially glad to see it done beautifully here.

There’s so much to love about ONE TO WATCH: the portrayal of dynamic female friendships; fat rep, yes, but also authentic-feeling racial, asexual/aromantic, and nonbinary rep; deep exploration of the mental and emotional impact of cultural fatphobia; thoughtful exploration of what it means to find love after the emotional trauma of failed romance; and so much more. I confess that I’ve never been able to stomach Bachelor/Bachelorette-style shows, which I find hopelessly awkward and dull, so I was a tad skeptical about this book -- but ONE TO WATCH moves far beyond its core premise, and is 1000% more interesting than the shows it uses as a reference point. I’m already looking forward to Stayman-London’s next book [insert cheeky “she’s one to watch” pun].

The Perils of Pleasure: Pennyroyal Green book 1 (Julie Anne Long), aBook (narr. Justine Eyre). I wanted to dive into Julie Anne Long’s backlist after enjoying the Palace of Rogues titles so much. Her 11-part Pennyroyal Green series seemed like the right place to start. Once again, Long provides a juicy, twisty non-romance plot to bolster the slow-burn romance between our leads -- who meet when Madeline orchestrates an eleventh-hour rescue from the gallows for the falsely-accused Colin. This was satisfying enough, but things got rushed in Act III, and ultimately the resolution of the external plot relied overmuch on one character monologuing at length to reveal all. I’ll keep listening eventually, though I don’t feel compelled to inhale the series all in one go; skeptics like myself will recall that Kleypas’s Ravenels series starts with a middling book 1, but delivers some seriously satisfying plot (and romance) as the series progresses. I’ve got other titles queued up for listening next week, but I’ll circle back to Pennyroyal Green in the near future.

#one to watch #we can only save ourselves #netgally #angel in the devil's arms #a deadly education #the perils of pleasure #romance #book reviews #amreading #now read this

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waddlesdpig · 5 years

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The Lego Movie Franchise Retrospective ( Or how to build Masterpieces)

The following is a opinionated review on the “ Lego Movie” franchise as a whole, spoilers and bad jokes ahead.

Its kinda crazy if we’re being honest here, in the five years since it’s creation the “ Lego Movie “ franchise has made close to a billion dollars domestically and probably more than that total internationally. All for what is essentially a series of really long commercials, albeit very entertaining and ( mostly) heartfelt commercials. No matter how you look at it however, these films on a whole have been a grand success worthy of artistic recognition ( WB has left chat).

This trend of profitably praised pictures seems sure to continue, with the soon to be released fourth installment in the “ Lego Movie” franchise “ The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part.”

( A sentence as redundant as me writing reviews on Tumblr.)

As a lover of the original “ Lego Movie” this sequel comes like the missing brick in my Lego heart set that i didn’t know existed. In that same breath however, i can’t help but feel anxious over how the movie will turn out. Early reviews have skewed favorably for the film and yet there is a disturbing trend in the Lego franchise that one cannot ignore. Each Lego Movie has had diminishing returns in terms of quality ever since the first.

Don’t get me wrong, the animation, production, and voice work for has been ( mostly) top notch for every installment. No when i mean quality, i’m talking about the strength of each films script and the way they are constructed. This problem is far more reaching than the common “ It wasn’t as funny as the first” comment one might make concerning the latter two Lego movies. Although i would be remiss to suggest that the humor isn’t itself a issue.

“ The Lego Movie” is filled to the brim with weird wacky comedy that still holds up five years later, but is coupled with satisfying storytelling that complements the silliness. Out of everything that could have been taken away from that original film the sequential Lego flicks focus is firmly placed on the hijinks and shenanigans. Much like a child who stacks his Legos as high as he can without any regard to building a solid foundation, Lego Batman ( to a lesser extent) and Ninjago lives or dies on the strength of it’s humor, often times tumbling because of that fact. So to help illustrate my point i would like to go back to the beginning and exam why each film worked or failed.

THE LEGO MOVIE

Out of all the things this film is praised for, the animation, the comedy, the amazing cast, i hardly ever hear anyone talking the story structure. While nothing shakespearean, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller masterfully employ the monomyth ( or hero’s journey) to lay the emotional foundation for the film, using it quite literally to a T’.

After setting the movies conflict into motion with the “ Piece of Resistance” and the “Krangle” we flash forward 8 1/2, enter Emmet Brickowski, your average abnormally normal citizen of Lego City Bricksburg where everything is honky dory. Following him throughout his day we come to find that Emmet is so average that he has fallen into the background of the collective consciousness of those around him. Only by chance does he comes across the Piece of Resistance literally calling him to adventure.

Now melded with the piece of legend, Emmet now bears the name “ The Special” which he is hesitant to hear at first, as he faces persecution from Lord Business forces, who is H’ E’ double hockey sticks’ bent on gluing the entire universe into place.

Through shenanigans he teams up with local DJ Wyldstyle, warms up to the idea of being, and i quote “ the most important, most talented, most interesting, most extraordinary, mostest most person in the universe.” The two escape from his capturers and crosses the threshold, by also literally crossing into another realm.

Duding it up in the Old West, Emmet’s lie is exposed like me on Omegle, earning him the disdain of his would be love interest. Trying to decipher next with the piece, the duo finds the wizard Virtuvius ( MVP of the film) who after finding out Emmet’s quandary determines to mentor him to be a Masterbuilder.

More shenanigans, Batman shows up, Emmet experiences cuckolding with Bat’s and Sty’s blockholding, ( seriously this is supposed to be a family film for krangle’s sake!) they all take a road trip to cloud coo coo land, group meets “ OC do not steal” and the other Masterbuilders to come up with a plan to take down Lord Business and stop his TAKOS! Surprise surprise Bad Cop rolls up to the club and the Masterbuilders aren’t ready to jam so they get sent to the slam. Emmet and crew manage to escape only by hiding in this absolute masterpiece.

Now beaten and bruised Emmet rallies the troops, and together as a team they set to enter the dragon’s lair that is Lord Business office building. ( Nightmare of college dropouts and unpaid interns everywhere) The story comes to a head as Virtuvius loses his, the piece of resistance is thrown into the abyss that is my grandma’s purse, all the masterbuilders are captured and Lord Business has set up an overly elaborate death trap to get these dang kids off his lawn. In this moment of despair the ghost of Virtuvius appears before Emmet assuring him that cat posters hold the secrets of the universe. Motivated Emmet bids a tearful farewell as he sacrifices himself to save the other Masterbuilders.

On the other side of the abyss, Emmet haves an out of body experience and has a face to face with the pink sausaged-eagle-squid creatures that serve as the lands God’s. It is here that he finally becomes equipped with the Ultimate Treasure: believing in yourself! Now ready to face the odds Emmet is sent Homeward Bound back to the Lego world.

He returns, Reborn as a Masterbuilder. Emmet confronts Lord Business and stops him by extending him his hand ( claw-grip thing?) in friendship, helping Lordy realize that he doesn’t have to be bad and that in reality we are all the Special. The two reconcile and the story wraps up with the world at peace until the immediate sequel bait.

There’s a reason many a tale uses this storytelling device, when done properly it works to enact growth and change in the protagonist, resulting in a compelling and satisfying character arc. The Lego Movie not content to rely on this alone also explores “ The Chosen One” trope, as well as themes about creativity vs conformity. There is quite a surprising amount of depth once you start deconstructing this film brick by brick, something that would be sorely missed in it’s spiritual sequels.

THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE

Without a doubt there is a lot to like about “ The Lego Batman Movie,” they managed to kick the already amazing animation up to 11, on a whole it is a very funny movie ( giving birth to probably one of my favorite scenes ever. Kazow!), and it joyfully revels in the Batman mythos and world. In addition to that, it’s story tackles a very interesting premise not often explored with the Caped Crusader. Yet in my mind, there is a distinct issue which holds the film back from being as solid as Batman’s ninepack, this being pacing in the third act.

Batman is one of the rare characters in pop culture that require almost no real introduction, as it can be assumed that most will in one way or another have some basic idea of his mythos. Using this to their advantage, the people filming choose to focus on a intrinsic part of the Dark Knight, that of lose and fear of losing. Building on “ The Lego Movie” interpretation of the character, we have here a extremely egotistical, selfish Batman who exhibits these qualities in order to close himself from anymore emotional pain.

This is plainly stated in the first act by Alfred, “ Master Bruce, you live on an island figuratively, and literally.” It’s the same reason why he can’t admit to Joker being his greatest enemy, because even if the relationship is hateful in nature, it is still a connection to another person. So Batman’s gotta learn to open himself to others, great! A good premise and character arc that the film executes fairly well, up until the beginning of the third act.

See throughout the story we see Batman nudged and guided into becoming a better person by those around him, particularly Alfred and Barbara in the first act. Come the second act, Batman has stubbornly enacted his own plan to stop the seemingly harmless Joker, after succeeding he is berated by Barbara “ You can't be a hero if you only care about yourself.” Batman’s plan backfires giving Joker the means to unleash every villain from your local bar’s trivia night. As such Fatman rectify his mistakes by teaming up with his loves ones to make wrongs right.

Though hesitant to the idea at first, Bats warms up to his new superhero buddies only for him to push them away as soon as he realizes their importance to him. This is where the problem of pacing really begins to show itself. After sending away the Bat-lites, Batman immediately confronts Joker, only for the Joker to recapitulate something that was just clearly shown to the audience “ I'm not your greatest enemy. Your greatest enemy is you.”

Joker then banishes Batman to the doom dimension where he is greeted by a literal judge of right and wrong, who then plays a highlight reel showing just how big a betty batty’s been. The thing to note is this all occurs within a span of five minutes, stopping the story completely just to point at something that’s already solidly established in the story.

The real shame is that all this guilt dog-piling undercuts a great moment. In the doom dimension Bat’s gets a peek of the situation to find his friends returning to help him, there he sees Robin emulating Batman’s reckless attitude, and it is there where he is finally able to recognize the harm he’s bringing to others with his selfish actions. A moment i feel could’ve been the emotional pillar of the movie if it had been better builded towards and executed.

To be fair the movie from then on picks back up rather quickly, Batman learns his lesson, forms the “ savi-cide squad,” and in the end is able to save Lego Gotham by literally making connections with others and bringing everyone closer to each other. Capping what is undeniably, despite it’s flaws, a very fun movie. If only i could say the same about the last film here…

THE LEGO NINJAGO

The Lego Ninjago movie was always going to be in a peculiar situation, it’s branding and world aren’t well enough established in the minds of the average movie goer to solely create a story based on in-world lore. Nor is it enough of a clean slate that one could be free to do whatever it wanted if the story ala “ The Lego Movie.” And as such it creates this disjointed hodgepodge of elements borrowed from the two previous entries. This particularly can be seen through the journey of the protagonist Lloyd.

By the time the movie chooses to introduced Lloyd we are already informed that he as the Green Ninja along with the others have already time and again defeated and repelled the big bad Garmadon. In a way Lloyd as already undergone his own hero’s journey, meaning they’ve already skipped any satisfaction that could be gained from seeing a powerless boy becoming a hero and vanquishing that which threatens his home.

Bah whatever, origin stories are overdone and boring. Who’s with me?! Let’s get right into the good stuff. And to the films credit it does just that, right off the bat we are introduced to what will be the main conflict of the story, Lloyd and his relationship with his father. However here too “ The Lego Ninjago” movie stumbles. Lloyd as a character is defined solely by this conflict. During nearly the entire first act you will rarely find a scene, or piece of dialogue featuring Lloyd that will not involve Garmadon or the fact that he is Lloyd’s father in one way or another.

But hey he’s also the leader of the Ninjas and does a great job of, uh, telling people what to do? Now let’s quickly compare how the “ Lego Batman Movie” handle this. In the opening moments of that film we spend time with Batman before the grand conflict is set into motion, we see he’s egotistical, a showboat, selfish and willfully ignorant to any flaws he might have. Having established his personality, ( what a notion) the story is able to show how that feeds into his fear letting people back in and colors his character arc for the film.

With the “ Lego Ninjago” movie failing to this, it leaves Lloyd as just sort of a blank slate with daddy issues. It’s probably why they have him from the start with a fully assembled team of fun personalities to bounce off of and carry the load of protaganizing, oh wait. Oh boy, we got Flame Fella the spiky hair one, Dirt Dude who is essentially Flame Fella, Wa Wa Womah ( she’s the water element cause she’s so good at retaining water), and the only two with any semblance of personality Jay and Zane.

Without trying to disrespect fans of the original series, you know where they actually mattered, the other Ninjas here are little more than filler. Functionally they have no real role in the story except to bolster Lloyd’s in-world importance by making him leader, as well as holding him responsible after he unwittingly unleashes destruction upon Ninjago. Towards the start of the third act, our blockhead Ninjas haphazardly realize that all they to do was believe and only now is there any hint of development for the group. Way too little, way too late to have any significant impact on the story.

Leaving us with the “ Father/Son” plot to essentially carry the whole film. To the movie’s credit it does a serviceable job in accomplishing this. While far from masterful, there is some satisfaction in two opposing fractions learn to work together and eventually reconcile. However even here the film fails to execute on this idea. After spending the entirety of the second act building up this relationship between the two, Garmadon literally asks Lloyd to join him and rule the galaxy together. Green bean rejects the offer because what else would you expect him to do, and Gar once again pushes his son away from him. Less than five minutes later, the climax of the movie ends with Lloyd talking to his dad through a cat and the two finally reconcile as family.

In this way “ The Lego Ninjago Movie” fizzles out, leaving a lackluster ending and Jackie Chan to close out an already underwhelming story.

Finally some more miscellaneous criticisms.

They reuse a lot of shots in the first act, Lloyd’s dragon cannon being of the more obvious examples.

There isn’t as much effort to establish “ Ninjago” as a Lego world, often times you see Lego structures mixed with what is supposed to be natural foliage. This is a huge issue in the second act as the majority of the scenery is composed of non-Lego elements. And the stuff that isn’t Lego’s don’t look to hot, the water effects being the biggest offender in this case.

Jackie Chan as Master Wu is probably the weakest performance in the movie, i don’t know if it’s because of the voice director or because Jackie just wasn’t feeling the powah.

The movie’s live action intro and outro is just bad.

But hey Garmadon has a “ Shark-Shooter” gun! 8/10 movie

CLOSING THOUGHTS

In conclusion, the thing that worries me most from the last two movies is the lack of thought and care into execution that the original “Lego Movie” had in spades. Pacing, strong character work for the whole cast, attention to story structure, all of these things have been mostly stepped on in favor of cramming as much hijinks as possible. And as a result leads to painful lackluster conclusions that try to be heartwarming but fail due to poor build up.

As much as i sound like a negative nancy right now, with “ The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part” being helmed by the dynamic duo which created the first, i am confidant that this will be a return to form for the Lego franchise.

Thanks for reading this monstrous mess.

#movies #the lego movie #lego ninjago #Lego my precious franchises

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rmil2k · 7 years

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Create a Feel-Good Facebook Ads Funnel for Your Course or eBook

Long before I could even begin to define a Facebook ads funnel, from the moment my first $3 sale showed up in my eCommerce dashboard for an eBook I’d written out of pure necessity (to help potential clients plan their brand fully before I started working on their website), I was amazed at the magic/science of someone who doesn’t know you one day, purchasing from you and passionately sharing your stuff all over the web the next day.

I made up my mind to get a Ph.D. where I could research the factors that go into the purchasing decisions of consumers buying from infopreneurs, influencers, and “authorities” online. Still working on that whole Ph.D. thing, but until that time, I have some 80% nerdy, 20% hip, but 100% mind-blowing examples and trainings for you if you want to start selling your programs, services, or digital products online . . . on autopilot . . . while remaining very human and in touch with the people you are serving.

We’re gonna get into actual funnel examples, and so much more . . . you’re ready, right? Oh, and I told you about the free case studies and masterclasses to help you learn Facebook ads from scratch, right? More on that later. And more on these mysterious sheets in a second.

First, it’s time to briefly review what a funnel is and why I go through an intense period every 2 years or so where I desperately try to think of a different name for “funnels” because of the way people abuse, misuse, overuse, etc. the term.

What is a funnel, really?

A funnel is simply one or more of your ideal audience members being drawn in by an amazing resource or gift you offer, then being taken through a series of content pieces you’ve created, in which each piece is meant to: (1) educate and motivate your audience to act on something helpful to them, and (2) accomplish a specific brand goal for you.

My belief is that even though your funnel may have one general goal, the most feel-good, customer-centric, and sensitive funnels are ones that are highly valuable even if someone doesn’t purchase anything and/or ones that have a few stop-off points for people just in case your end goal is not what they need.

Which is why I’m always trying to rename “funnel” . . . people in the online marketing space seem to love to abuse the word . . . by offering little value, lots of pressure, and only high price point resources. Funnels don’t have to be ridiculous. They can be some of the most amazing experiences for your audience . . . something that you get thank you emails and fire emoji tweets about.

Back to the point of this article . . .

Let’s get to an example funnel, eh?

We can take the example of my totally real friend (I didn’t make him up or anything) named Theo to illustrate extremely helpful funnels. In this content series, Theo is not only selling his $35 guide to being a digital nomad in Playa del Carmen, but he is also dishing out essential, valuable information for people who might only need a few additional details or for people who can’t yet afford his book.

That funnel looks super sexy and helpful, right?

But you may have noticed a very key thing is missing. “Traffic” as the marketers say. Humans as I like to call them. How are human-actual-people going to become aware of Theo’s amazing free video on “A day in the life of a digital nomad in Playa del Carmen” to begin with?

Getting people to the start of your funnel . . .

There are countless ways someone can become aware of Theo’s video (or his free checklist, or his workshop, or whatever he chooses to share):

Theo might share a link to his video in a Facebook Group for digital nomads that he’s a part of

Theo might share his link on Instagram

Someone might tweet out about Theo’s video/resource

People could find his video from a pin on Pinterest or a Facebook Live video

. . . and so on

BUT. How can Theo create a consistent stream of the right kind of people landing on his resources? People who are interested in travel, digital nomading, living abroad, doing freelance work on the Internet, etc.?

One seriously epic way is to invest a little time learning how to target, and scale with, Facebook ads.

And I have some seriously cool examples for you in this article. But first, know this: I used to be so epically scared of Facebook ads. I was 100% sure (in my state of ignorance) that they were going to waste my time and money.

Then I started paying attention to various friends of mine online. Like Aby Moore, second from the right in the image below—she drove hundreds of dollars in sales on a workbook from $130 in Facebook ad spend. Or like the amazing Kimra Luna, on the left below—her love affair with Facebook ads started when she spent $400 and got 1000 people signed up for her first business webinar. P.S. The thing all these screenshots have in common is the fact that they’re all case studies and masterclasses you can access in Social Ads School.

I watched how my friend (and former client) Courtney Sanders absolutely blew up online—the good way—with Facebook ads funnels like the ones she shares in Social Ads School. She didn’t start testing out thousands of dollars. She started testing out a $100 ad spend and getting back $196 in sales of a 7-day challenge—as she explains in the slide towards the left above.

And of course, I’ve been watching two people I admire a ton, Verick Wayne (my friend since undergrad)—as he got more and more passionate about Instagram and Facebook and paved the way for me to use them more effectively, and Andrew Hubbard—a genius Facebook ads strategist who works with course sellers, event hosts, and more.

And after all these examples and lessons, I decided to give Facebook ads a serious try. The results have been kinda magical, and today I want to be a ShareBear and share as much as possible with you.

Facebook ads funnels aren’t scary, and they can be totally human and warm.

Over the next few articles on this site, we’re going to get into four super clutch examples based on four pretty common product/business models that you might be pursuing or considering. These are the same four “tracks” or “streams” used in Social Ads School, so that you can find the sessions most relevant to your business (but of course you can always watch all 30 sessions).

You may be selling:

Courses and eBooks

1-on-1 services like consulting and freelancing

Masterminds or group coaching programs

Tickets to live and virtual events

We’re going to take some examples from a book I created on funnels, example avatars—one for each of the product models above—and trace out a full, epic, profitable funnel that starts with a targeted Facebook ad. Today we’re starting with Facebook ads funnels specifically for course creators or book sellers.

How to Create a Facebook Ads Funnel to Sell Your Course or eBook on Autopilot

Let’s revisit this Theo character from one of my books. Remember . . . he is selling a digital guide (eBook and an accompanying video or two) on living and working internationally in Playa del Carmen, Mexico.

Step 1: Create a Compelling Offer to Start off Your Facebook Ads Funnel

Theo might start with a simple Facebook ad that he targets at anyone who has similar habits (on Facebook) to his website visitors—he can do this by installing a piece of code on his site (a Facebook pixel) and then creating a “lookalike” audience in his Facebook ads account.

In addition to the fact that the people he targets “look like” people who already visit his website, he might also make a condition of his ad that it’s only shown to people who also like a popular digital nomad Facebook page, are between the ages of 23 – 38, and use Gmail as their primary email provider.

His Facebook ad can be a simple 90-second video (maybe where he’s simply holding his phone on a selfie stick and walking around key spots in his city during the day—with good light—sharing 2 or 3 key tips about being a digital nomad).

His video ad can direct people to a landing page on his website where they can sign up (with their name and email address) for two more videos in his series—one that explains the ways you can make money as a digital nomad and one that explains the basics of living internationally.

Pro tip: Theo can use the “thank you” page after people sign up for his free videos to lightly (or fully and directly) mention the $35 guide he sells. This can help sales trickle in immediately and pay for his Facebook ads. But, since he’s still giving free value, it won’t turn off most (reasonable) people to get a special offer of an affordable digital guide.

Personal story side note: I’ve used this “redirect to special offer” method before to drive over $10,000 in sales of an online course immediately after people signed up for a free workshop series. It’s also a method that Tamra Floyd, Courtney Sanders, and Claire Pelletreau use often and show you how to work during Social Ads School.

Step 2: Follow Up with a Reminder and Some Helpful Info/Resources

Since Theo recently collected people’s email addresses, he can send a follow-up email, 3 days after they initially signed up for his list, re-linking to the videos (in case his subscribers missed them), and giving some new, relevant information to his audience.

^^In this email, Theo is combatting a common objection/fear he hears about moving abroad through a well-researched government report on the low crime rates in the city he lives in. He’s also giving people a chance to check out a free podcast series he created with some amazing fellow digital nomads, or to join his free Facebook group and/or buy his $35 guide.

Personal story side note: Theo’s funnel is very similar to how I’ve sold a graphic design course in the past. Facebook ad >> to workshop >> to helpful email chain with more videos/info >> to purchase. The course was priced at $175, and even though only a small percentage of people purchased it, it was enough to pay for the ads and make a nice profit.

Oh, and: If you want some case studies and masterclasses that talk about selling digital courses and eBooks using Facebook ads, check out the sessions in Social Ads School by Melyssa Griffin, Kimra Luna, and Aby Moore, among others.

Step 3: Re-Target People on Facebook AND Send Another Educational/Motivational Email

Here’s where some next level cool stuff comes in. You may or may not know that most entrepreneurs and businesses online are getting open rates on their emails between 17% and 25%. No, I’m serious. Check out this report (updated in 2017) by MailChimp.

That means that for every 100 people you send your emails to, 80 of them don’t open it. That’s serious.

But, it’s not the end of the world. There are almost 2 billion people on Facebook, so it’s a good bet that a lot (if not all) of your ideal audience members are on Facebook.

So, instead of relying solely on email to deliver your funnel (let’s say it goes out to 1000 people one month . . . you want more than 170 or 200 people getting it, right?) . . . why not add a Facebook ad into your funnel?

You’re increasing the chances that the right person will see your content at the right time. So, let’s look at what Theo does and see if it can give you some ideas.

We know that Theo already had people landing on a “thank you” page on his site after they signed up for his video series that they learned about through his Facebook ad (and/or some other means—he can always share his series using free methods as well).

Let’s call that thank you page http://ift.tt/2f54Qdy. Someone would have only landed there if they’d signed up for his series.

Theo can go inside his Facebook ads account and now create an audience (basically, a group of people to show ads to) that will only include people who’ve seen that specific page on his site . . . so the audience consists only of people who signed up for his offer.

And here’s where he goes NEXT LEVEL.

Theo can create that audience out of people who’ve been on that page at least 3 days ago, but no longer than 10 days ago. Or whatever numbers he chooses. Why would he do this?

If he knows he’s about to spend money to show an ad to people in his funnel, why not make sure they signed up for his resource at least 3 days ago (meaning they’ve had time to watch the videos and “warm up” to Theo) but not longer than 10 days ago (so he can keep the audience relevant and fresh—someone may not remember him from 33 days ago or may not be as concerned about the topic anymore).

He (and you and I) can essentially then spend money on just the people who have already shown a high level of interest in what we’re talking about. And because of the way Facebook “Audiences” work, people will automatically be added and removed from the group of people we’re showing ads to based on the conditions we set up.

So on Day 11 after signing up for Theo’s resource and landing on his “video” page, that person will no longer be shown the ad for the second piece of the funnel (let’s say piece #2 is a case study). If they haven’t taken advantage of it by then, why spend money trying to make them? Also, Theo can add a condition that this audience he’s showing an ad to on days 3 – 10 doesn’t include anyone who has already visited the case study’s landing page.

#Brilliant.

So to summarize, 2 – 5 days after someone initially signs up for a resource from you, you can start targeting them with an ad that takes them to the next content piece in your funnel. Simultaneously, you can schedule another email that also takes them to the next piece in your funnel. Adding in the *hopefully* high-converting ad to your email plan will increase the number of people who actually see your next funnel piece.

Step 4: Continue to Use a Combination of the Custom Audience “Hack” in Step 3, and Funnel Emails Spaced a Few Days Apart, to Deliver a Few More Resources

Remember, Theo still has a blog post on how to get great Internet speeds in Playa, his own case study of how he lives and works for under $1500/month, and a lesson on getting the proper visas and permits to stay legally in Mexico.

He can choose to create an ad for some, none, or all of his remaining funnel content pieces (videos, articles, podcast episodes, and more)—pieces that always link or invite people to purchase his guide or a different resource/course he sells. And, he can definitely, for free, create an email to go out every few days for the rest of his funnel content.

If he’s using email software like ConvertKit (the one I use), then as soon as someone buys his guide, he can make sure they stop receiving funnel emails to promote the guide—all of this is done “automagically” with no extra work from Theo after he initially sets up the action/reaction in ConvertKit.

And that my human friend, is how someone can use Facebook ads to sell a course or eBook on “autopilot.” Cool, right? Want more examples like this? Make sure you are:

Signed up for business notes (emails) from me—you can do that at the top of this site

Signed up for Social Ads School—it includes 30 masterclasses and case studies to help you grow your business with Facebook ads and smart funnels

I’ll see you super soon for Part 2 of this series. Excited? Leave a comment below with a funnel idea you have for your own content (no matter how rough an idea) and on September 10 at 7 p.m. Eastern, I’ll pick one person to send $130 in ads budget to. Why $130? Because that’s the amount my friend Aby used in her Social Ads School Case Study to see some amazing results for her brand.

Regina out.

The post Create a Feel-Good Facebook Ads Funnel for Your Course or eBook appeared first on by Regina [for infopreneurs + independents].

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