#sobbing im sobbing im in shambles im falling apart im

[ovaryacted]

Ok ok ok, so…hear me out. (TW: death, and suicide at the end)

Let’s just say Leon’s kids (maybe they’re a teen at this point) ends up captured by some evil bioweapon lab. The ransom note is essentially ‘leave us alone to do our science or we kill your kid’

I can see this playing out two ways.

The first, Leon tears apart the world. He sees red and essentially blacks out until he’s reunited with his child/ren. He’s awake for the entire time it takes to find them. The only time he actually ‘rests’ is when his body physically crashes and passes out. Even then, he gets nightmares. What if they’re too late and his kid/s become twisted creatures? What if they’re already dead? What if he has to put a bullet in his own precious baby because they were reduced to a shambling zombie, just like RC?

He wakes up screaming. Crying. Sobbing.

Even if he gets to them in time, they’re undoubtedly traumatized. They won’t be child/Ren anymore. They would have been exposed to how fucked the world really is. He starts thinking he’s a failure. He’s failed to protect his kid/s. The ones he loved the most in the world have had their innocence ripped away.

But damnit, when he finds them, you bet your ass he’s not letting them go. He hugs them tightly. Almost too tightly. Leon starts sobbing. They’re unharmed. Untouched by evil science.

When it comes to the escape, he holds their hand. It doesn’t matter how old they are, he’s going to hold onto SOMETHING. They aren’t coming out of his sight ever again. Not after this.

Second scenario, Leon IS too late.

He sees what USED to be his kid/s. If he stared hard enough he could see them, under the shambling, the growling. They were still in there somewhere.

But he was too late. Even if they could get a cure, the damage was done. His child/ren were gone.

The world goes quiet for Leon. His only focus would be on them. All he could hear is his own heartbeat. After he ends their pain, I don’t think he’d go home.

The official report be KIA, but anyone else who was on the mission would know the truth. Leon didn’t want to live without his kid/s.

BUT THEN ITS ALL A NIGHTMARE BECAUSE I MADE MYSELF SAD TYPING THIS AHHHH IM SORRY

cw: religious imagery, mentions of gore and violence, suicide attempt

Hey, angsty anon, I know you remember sending this to me when I was at work and it fucking upset me but I said I would make it worse...well I'm making it a tad bit worse by adding my thoughts to this. Apologies in advance, and of course if you don't want to read some sad shit, don't read it. (I was half asleep writing this so my bad lolz)

I think Leon's family becoming involved in the horrors of bioterrorism, the very thing he's trying so hard to protect his loved ones from, is one of his biggest fears. In this field, he's seen people he cared about, good people, who were abandoned by those meant to protect them and had to alter their bodies to try to feel control. Although Leon does everything to ensure his family is protected, he still falls short when his child gets taken away by an enemy and is used as collateral.

The entire aspect of finally being able to have a life gets to Leon. To have a chance to settle down and have a family of his own which is now being threatened, turns Leon into this vindictive monster just motivated by revenge. On prior missions, he's usually calculated and knows what to do, where to go, and what to bring. But now that his child is involved, his own flesh and blood, yeah he blacks out for most of the mission and is going off of instinct.

He doesn't give his partner much of an explanation when he just says he's going to leave and that he knows he's going to bring his family back together. He can't promise anything, can't promise if he'll come back in one piece or at all, but he will bring his child back home. If being a federal agent working in bioterrorism has taught him anything, is that not everyone comes back. Sometimes he just gets lucky and the cycle repeats.

Leon does not sleep, does not eat, and much less gives a shit about his own safety and health. As far as he knows, he's on a witch hunt to kill the bastard that threatened his family and his happiness. The entire time he's trying to get his child back, his mind goes back to the horrors of all of his missions. He thinks back to the fear he felt in trying to save Sherry, he remembers the way his mind went all hazy on his mission to Spain and saved the president's daughter.

It's all the same. But it has to be different right?

He doesn't consider himself to be a religious person, he used to be back in his youth. But as this rogue mission goes on longer and longer and he spends more time without his child, he starts to silently pray that they're alive, that they haven't been ruined like everything else in this rotten world.

Let's say he does find his kid in one piece, scared and traumatized, probably tucked into a corner in a dingy cell in some run down lab. Leon wrapped his arms around them, apologizing over and over again, looking for forgiveness, and blaming himself for putting his child in danger simply because of the life he was forced to live.

He does get back home in one piece with his child in his arms and eliminates any other possible and future threats so he never has to worry about that again. The people who even think about hurting his family will regret ever doing so. As long as his child is safe and back at home, he thinks he's achieved the impossible and is protecting all that he holds dear.

But let's go on the opposite end of the spectrum. What will happen if Leon doesn't get there in time? If he finds his child turned into some monster as revenge? It would tear him apart, and he will consider this to be his karma for even wanting a better life for himself, a life he doesn't deserve. The person or thing in front of Leon wasn't his child anymore, it was a mess of torn-up limbs and cut skin, and he couldn't feel his child's presence anymore.

His soul is empty as he raises his gun to shoot towards the monster, putting them out of their misery, and the last bit of humanity Leon has left goes with the dead body hitting the ground. He still has a mission to complete, a society to protect, so he focuses on that and refuses to give himself a moment of grieve.

Later he says, I have time later.

He's detached from his reality throughout the remaining time he gives himself to finish off this mission, his last mission. When all the threats are eliminated, he walks around aimlessly, his spirit has run dry and he knows the gaping hole in his chest is too much of a burden to handle. He doesn't cry, he's done enough crying in his life and frankly, he doesn't have any more tears to give.

I've failed. I've failed you. I'm sorry.

The words repeat in his head and he pretends his significant other somehow gets the message that he's not coming back home. He wonders if God will come to save him from this blasphemy, but this is the price he had to pay for having too much blood on his hands, blood he did not want to have.

His hand is steady as he puts the gun to his temple, finger on the trigger and he hears it click, nothingness comes right after. He doesn't feel pain, doesn't feel much of anything, and surprisingly he feels calm...at peace.

Things can't be different. Not this time.

#ovaryacted asks #leon kennedy angst #leon kennedy headcanons #leon kennedy drabble #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil drabble #resident evil imagines #resident evil angst #₊˚⊹ ♡ ─ angsty anon

[timottea]

okay @softhecreator you asked for some inexplicable reason for my bones and all thoughts and this is a shambles i am a mess but sof i feel like you'll understand

SO bones and all

basically end me

there were tears

twice actually

once at the end of course because oh my god when the music plays over him screaming his guts out nooooo no it took me back to fuckin sirius falling through the veil there's just something about quiet music playing over absolute agony HAHA BYE pain pain pain

the way he just keeps repeating those words as if maren could actually go through with it AND THEN SHE DOES SHE HAS NO CHOICE PAIIIN FHFJGG

and then next second luca the masochist cuts to a clean apartment no blood no trace of lee fuck you luca

then the coffee shop scene so soft so sweet and when the "you seem nice" "i AM nice" nope ouch

also when the camera moves as if you're maren looking at lee and it pans over his body starting from his elbow GOD idk why that affected me so much

like he's right there in front of you this other mirror this piece of yourself it's sitting right there watching you watching yourself SEEING yourself through him and you can't fucking keep eye contact it's too much

and watching maren discover that she is him he is her i could write a fucking essay

not as gory as i thought considering the subject matter

dare i say tastefully done

moving on

lee's little shoestring belt and cardigan fit was a LOOK

and that scene in the field on the hill and lee's death grip on maren's top as if she's all that's keeping him together oh my god

also the opening scene is so luca i almost started sobbing there and then

just all the textures on the paintings and the colours

so beautiful, the entire film is a masterpiece every frame every palette everyyyyythinngggg

"we could be people"

the little moments throughout the roadtrip like a beautiful mosaic ughhhhhg

the soft car scenes when either of them are sleeping

the whole discussion around keeping the truck until it breaks down my sentimental heart

maren's scene with her mother when i tell you i knocked my drink over i'm sure you'll understand

the soundtrack THE SOUNDTRACKKKKK so good

joy division on a ferris wheel what more could you want

but for balance the cringiest thing was timothée dancing to kiss like yes free spirit stupid fedora wearing disenfranchised indie cannibal i see the intent but all i saw was lanky baguette IM SORRY

however genuinely up there with his best performances

it's just so different but makes perfect sense for him like you can tell he put his entire soul into lee

boy really can't compete with taylor tho

this film is alllllll taylor's

her delivery of "all i think is that i love you" when i tell you my soul ascended to a higher plain

tho i do do get that thing people are saying

you miss lee when he's not on screen he's such a PRESENCE even when he's so obviously broken

basically i loved it so good luca is incredible but then what else is new

#bones and all #timothee chalamet #timothée chalamet #taylor russell #luca guadagnino #softhecreator #u asked i am so sorry this is such a mess i am a mess

[resonating-kitty]

tw // mentions of sa

im gonna sob, everything is falling apart around me: w*lber being an abuser and a possible r*pist, q with his fuckass merch scams and terrible work environments for his employees, now gnf sa'ing a freshly 18yo girl??? im actually gonna 🕳️🚶‍♀️

I feel you Anon.

It's a tough time for anyone who was or still is deeply engraved in those fan bases of those CCs.

To offer a bit of soft advice, to you and anyone else who feels like their whole worlds are in shambles right now because of this: breathe, let it out, cry, mourn the ideal that these people were good, it's okay to do that. None of us could've known.

Even if there is look back at past content and those red flag signs appear obvious, remember that at that time back then, they were not noticeable and only now, with the truths as they appear, that those signs come to full light.

Take this one day at a time but don't let it consume your whole entire lives. Put your main focus on unproblematic stuff that makes you happy.

#anon ask #tw sa mention

[poppy-metal]

crying when the head of armin’s cock is pushing into you, so fucking slow that it’s agonizing, and your whimpers around erens cock make his thrusts jerky for a sec — eren thinks it’s so fucking cute that you’re trying to beg with his cock in your mouth. “she fucking loves it, min,” eren slows for a sec, unable to take his eyes off armin’s cock sinking into you. you’re desperately trying to shift your hips to get armin deeper. “look, she’s so fucking desperate. god, min — she’s so — fuck—”

your throat gets a little tighter around eren with every gasp, but you can’t help it. armin’s cock stretching you open inch by inch, the way he resists your cunt trying to suck him in further just to tease you more?? it’s unbearable. you’re trapped and you can’t stop struggling bc that’s the only reprieve you’ve got bc it’s too much. armin’s stuttering “f-fuck — fuck, baby, fuck, fuck—” as he bottoms out, and you’re sobbing now bc he. won’t. fucking. move.

“she feel good, min?” “y-yeah. fuck. yeah. shes so fuckin’ tight, ‘ren, i can’t—“ you think maybe they’re kissing. you’re not sure. all you know is armin starts to move, his strokes slow and deep and so fucking mean, and you’re a mess of tears and drool. it’s too much, the two of them, but eren’s got a hand on your throat, though, more gentle than you expected, as if to tell you he’s still got you, even if he and armin are going to tear you apart

u need a sign off bc this is literally the sexiest 3 part ask chain I've ever gotten. Im in shambles. falling apart. them kissing- eren holding your throat gently- armin whining abt how good you feel while still being mean-

#ask

[sukirichi]

— 💌 ; a love letter from @kyriaan

long post below regarding broken records. cw includes adultery, physical assault, toxic relationships, broken records spoilers, and mature content

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 005

Okay! I finally had time to actually sit down and properly read chap 5 cause ill be damned and burned if i dont pay special attention to one of my favorite series here! Rather drown or be sting by bees slowly 😒

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃 I for the first time don't even know where to start so allow me to be all over the place cause my emotions are also all over the place with this chapter ✌️

Ill start by y/n's dad caN GO FUCK HIMSELF? Like okay sir you might have fallen in love with our mom (ill give him the benefit of the doubt regarding his feelings) BUT SIR YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST? FROM THE BEGINNING? ALSO BRUH YOU KIDDING ME??? SIR YOU LEGIT ABANDONED YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER AND THEN YOU PROCESS TO 'LEAVE US' I- YOOOOO I WOULD BITCH SLAP HIM I SWEAR!!

Also ALSO ILL SCREAM FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK NO KID HAS EVER TO BE BLAMED FOR BEING BORN!! Y/n mom's line: 'we have to atone for our sins' its legit BULLSHIT it wad NOT y/n fault her DAD COULDNT KEEP HIS DICK INSIDE HIS PANTS NOR ITS Y/N FAULT THAT HER DAD CHEATED!!! ATONE FOR OUR SINS MY ASS!! the father is the one that has to take responsibility for all this shitty situation we do NOT nor any kid out there in this situation has to be taken accountable by this!!

And now Suna 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 bruh im just gonna cry... Everything he does just makes me heart swell i feel so cozy when i read his parts like how sweet and present he is I- bruh I never had that... Actually seeing y/n breaking up with him when shes clearly falling in love with him just breaks me cause Girl for real Suna would be there for you... I get it shes afraid and shes acting on that fear but girl... Pls he truly loves you deeply not everyone is like your dad. There are happy endings. There are good people Sunas one of them pls 🥺🥺🥺 also MY LOVE TSUMU BEING A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND EVEN THO SUNA GOT THE GIRL BRUH TSUMU I FUCKING LOVE YOU MY CHILDISH YET ADORABLY SMUG BOY 😭😭😭😭😭

Nagisas a bitch btw ✌️ so far i see no redemption not excuse in what she did so far. I get her reasons but that does NOT excuse her behavior. She has to lash out at her cunt of a dad not at a innocent woman who was also a victim all along. Nor even her half sister. I get her mentality behind this but doesnt excuse her behavior at all- its basically the same as being a victim from a bully and playing bully after aswell.

Overall YOU MADE ME CRY AGAIN SUKI! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BUT ALSO UGH MY HEART SUKI!

[ from suki ] 

BROKEN RECORDS IS UR FAVE SERIES??? babe pls you’re gonna me cry !! nah nah fr his dishonesty caused all this mess. YEAHA SAKLAA tbh I love mama lucy but her words of ‘atoning for their sins’ or her mindset of ‘we don’t deserve to be happy when we’ve hurt others’ really messed up YN. she was only 21 and vulnerable with all the shambles happening in her family + the sudden assault from nagisa, that when her mother said those words, she struggled to let go of it. to her, it became like a final verdict that dictated how she lived her life.

SUNA URGHHH PLEASE GIVE SUNA A CHANCE HE HAS PURE AND GOOD INTENTIONS BUT I CANT BLAME HER EITHER AHSJAKA. and the comparison of nagisa being a bully’s victim only to become the next bully is true. nagisa should lash out at their shitty excuse of a father. ALSO AAAAHH THE NEXT CHAPTER (007) IS WORSE AHSJKAAL

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 005

I know shins attractive I mean mans perfect?? Does he even have any flaw?? And the way he cried when he got his jersey MYGOD FHDHFHFJSKS but I still look at him and im like.... Hmmmm nah i wouldnt date him its just not my... Do i dare say type? Cause i dont think i have a type ghfhfisofbd but like I just 🧍‍♀️

I love him i just dont love him i guess

The makeout scene tho ill give you that 🥵🥵🥵 made me bark (i would still walk out next day like was a good fuck kita byeeee🚉🏃‍♀️💨)

... More drama regarding mari... And you said this will have like 10 chapters... And from 8 on will be angsty.... 🙂 *traumatized noises*

[ from suki ] 

YUUHHH KITA IS PERFECT HERE AHSJKAA IDK MAYBE ITS MY SIMPING FOR NAOYA CONVERTED TO KITA ALREADY BEING PERFECT AS HE ALREADY IS AND I AMPED IT UP BCOS THE SIMP MODE IS ACTIVATED AHSKAA. the make out scene !! pls sir i’m on my knees spare some love in ur heart AAAAAAHHHHHH. also. i assure you. businessman! kita got game. he’s gonna make you walk funny if you give him the chance HSJKA

yeah i just finished writing the outline for track7 right now and the drama is HSJKAA it gave me a headache sobs 

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 006

I want to give you my usual thoughts on the new chapter and at the same ahm...

I just saw myself on Suna... Deeply....and it kinda slapped me harder than i was expecting...there were too many things from him giving himself to mari/treating her like he wants to be treated... To deleting his best friend from social media thanks to his girlfriend... And it really hurt me ahah..

I would vent but.. Yeah

But yes this chapter i saw myself in suna and i had to take quite the long breaks cause it was getting to me 😅😅😅 also if anything i learned from my experiences is that MARI SCREAMS RED FLAGS and even Osamu can see that pls

I would honestly end Mari there, i wouldnt even bother to just retort i would walk my way into to the damn apartment and fucking take Suna for myself cause Mari does not deserve him. Shes manipulative, and in a way abusive.. Not allowing him to keep contact with his best friend his a total redflag and o know its because Suna had feelings for y/n and vice versa but Suna never gave het a reason to distrust him.

The moment he said he was best friends with y/n and was single she immediately clinged himself to him and for what? To then dump him like he was trash...

He gave himself to her, he proved he was there for her he even took her back this boy deserves the fucking world and its not Mari...

I kinda want to say it's not y/n at this point either cause the way she broke his heart was kinda the same Mari did.. Y/n disregarded his feelings and just broke it up.. Mari disregarded his feelings abd broke it up... But y/n stated from the very beginning that she would eventually break up Mari just shrugged and didn't care so i can in a way forgive y/n i cant forgive mari

Besides y/n was supportive from the beginning while Mari was obsessive and controlling.

Another really insanely well written chapter as usual (albeit this one making me ball my eyes off harder because yeah) but yes~ eagerly waiting for the next one~

Take your time tho 😌🙌

Mari can go fuck off 💗💓💞💕❣️❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍💯💝💖💋💅

Suna x y/n pls

Y/n deserves to have a healthy love life with someone she loves (hence why npt Kita) and loves her back

And Suna deserve the fucking world and be treated right

[ from suki ] 

NAHHHH cuz when you said suna was treating mari the way he wanted YN to treat her... that’s right. on point. they’re all so complicated sobs. MARI IS A WALKING RED FLAG THAT OSAMU CAN SMELL FROM A MILE AWAY. ALSO yes mari is manipulative and borderline possessive when it came to suna. like yeah, let’s be real, she could tell a long time ago that suna was in love with YN and it made her insecure / jealous, but the whole time, YN kept her distance. she was supportive over their relationship from afar as to make mari comfortable. suna also did everything he could to make sure she was well cared for. for three years, he was focused on her and only her. he gave love a second chance despite being brokenhearted. suna never mari a chance to doubt because he, too, was sure he could be happy with her.

until mari left him.

and now suna is back with YN because they will always have each other. but honestly,,,if we think about it, if mari never broke up with suna or at least gave him the chance to explain himself - if mari didn’t do the exact thing YN did to suna years ago - he honestly would’ve been really happy with mari. they were going well. like yeah mari has always been toxic by pushing suna’s boundaries and asking him to unfollow his own best friend on social media, but he did it anyway. because he trusted their relationship. he wanted the best for them. 

also yeah, the parallels between mari and YN were intentional !! 

HEHEHEHE THE KITA X YN SHIP everyone loves them im so happy about that bcos kita is so amazing in my eyes. PREACH FOR THAT THO !! SUNA DESERVES THE BEST. SUNA DESERVES TO BE TREATED RIGHT. HE DESERVES THE WORLD AND SO MUCH MORE

thank you for taking the time to send me this, kya, it means a lot to me and it motivates me to work harder on the future chapters !! <33

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #besties #series ( broken records ) #tw: physical assault #tw: toxic #tw: toxic relationships #tw: adultery

[justpeachii]

Pairing: Sugawara Koushi x Female Reader 

Summary: After getting bored with your love life, you download one of those silly dating apps. However, things don’t go as planned, leaving you crying in your best friends arms.

Genre: College AU (Juniors), angst, comfort, platonic, mutual pining but both are dumb, kind of a cliche ending but :’)

Warnings: profanity and that is all.

Word Count: 3.2 K

Author’s Note: hello! This is my first fic here on the good ole tumblr and i hope you enjoy it! This was very much (sadly) based off of real life events and really just something i wanted to write to get my feelings out. i do suggest listening to the little playlist below while reading because not only were they what i listened to while writing, but also what got me through it (along with some great friends). Also uh… i didn’t expect this to be this long hehe YIKES. Anyways, enjoy! (also i’m SORRY TENDO he got the short end of the stick 😭 i’ll make it up i swear)

also tagging the lovely @noya-sannnn​ !! who inspired me to write this!!

Playlist

blame game (acoustic) by mxmtoon

Grow As We Go by Ben Platt

dream of you (acoustic) by mxmtoon

did it to myself by orla gartland 

ready now by dodie 

Comfort Crowd by Conan Gray

Late nights were always the worst. Between the endless torrent of thoughts or the overwhelming amount of homework, sleep was a luxury you could hardly afford. Afterall, juggling not only 18 credit hours of classes, a part-time job, and work projects for your major was not the norm, but for you, it was. 

Not only was sleep something you often overlooked, but love was as well. That is until one night you decided to download one of those silly dating apps on one of those late nights. After choosing a few of your best selfies and creating a fun little bio, you got to swiping.

Left. Left. Left. Pause. Scroll profile. Left. Pause. Scroll profile. Pause. Right.

It’s a Match!

After a moment of hesitation, you closed out of the message prompt, continuing to swipe and scroll before feeling the weight of sleep upon your eyelids. 

It had been two months since matching with Tendo Satori. Two months full of laughter, late nights at each other’s apartments, and confessions of love. Or at least what you thought was love. What started as a spark had grown to the size of a wildfire, burning inside your chest. A newfound love so strong it made your heart ascend to the highest of places.

However, what goes up must come down. 

While you would like to believe it was sudden, all the warning signs were there. Him growing distant, opening texts but not responding, cancelling plans last minute; the list goes on. The one thing that was sudden was the text you received before class.

Of course this would happen to you fifteen minutes before a two hour lecture. The last thing you would want to see: a paragraph of half-assed excuses followed up by “i just don’t think im ready for a relationship”.

You wanted to scream, throw your phone against the concrete, cause a scene, but you didn’t. As the tears began to flow, you scrolled on your phone for your most trusted friend, pressing on the call button next to their name. 

Ring. Ring. Ring.

“Y/n? Don’t you have class soon? What’s going on?”

At this point, you were holding back sobs, voice coming out in a quiet whisper as you held the phone to your ear with a shaking hand.

“Suga… I have class in a few, but I- he-” you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words. What would you tell him after all? While you and Tendo had never put a label on it, it still felt like a break-up. 

“He? Y/n, are you okay?” There was a faint rustle on his end of the line, the sound of him putting his shoes on. “Can you take a few breaths for me? Take your time, I’m here when you’re ready to talk.” 

Doing as he said, you took a few snot-filled breaths before managing to get the tears to stop falling. While you did so, you found a spot outside the lecture hall, sitting beneath a tree and leaning your head against its trunk, letting your eyes close. 

“He ended it. Tendo… He texted me saying all this stuff of how he was sorry for pushing me away and that he wasn’t ready for a relationship.” You said in a firm voice. It was as if you were willing yourself to be strong for his sake, not wanting to worry him more than he was. 

There was a pause from Sugawara as he processed what you had just said. When he spoke, his tone was bitter, one you rarely heard.  

“That piece of shit. Over a text! He didn’t have the decency to call you or, hell, even set up a dinner or something!” He gave a sigh followed by a beat of silence. “I’m so sorry, Y/n… I know it is probably the dumbest question to ask, but are you okay?”

“Not really, but I have to be since I have class in,” you glanced at your watch, groaning, “six minutes. I don’t really want to go, I just want to go home, curl up in my blanket, and cry.”

While your heart was breaking over some boy you had known for a couple of months, Sugawara Koushi’s was breaking for you. Not only was he your closest friend since you transferred to the same university, he was also head-over-heels for you. When you mentioned to him the dates, he feigned happiness for your sake, supporting you through all of it. Now, hearing you in shambles on the other end of the phone made him want to run to you, pull you into an embrace, and give you the world.

Sadly, he couldn’t do what he wished. He knew your professor had a strict attendance policy, which meant that you would have to sit in class for two hours with a broken heart. Two hours for him to prepare as much of the world as he could. 

“I know this is one of the last things you want to hear right now, Y/n, but I know it will get better. If your professor didn’t have such a stick up his butt you would be able to skip without a problem.” As your friend spoke, the tears began to fall once more, your free hand coming up to swipe them away. 

“I know it won’t be for another two hours, but after your class, do you want to come over and we can have a movie night? We don’t have to talk about anything, just watch Tangled or Your Name.”

It took you a minute to find your voice once more, the ball of despair tight in your throat, leaving you to silently nod. Then you find your voice.

“I’d like that, Suga… I’d love it, in fact. I just… I don’t want to be alone tonight, but I also don’t want to bother you and I know-”

“You know you’re never a bother. Trust me, Y/n. After class, come over to my place. You can have my bed and I’ll take the couch.” His voice cut you off from finishing your thought, leaving your lips parted with an apology, a breath falling out in its place.

For the first time in the past nine minutes, you smiled. It wasn’t much, but Sugawara could hear it in your voice from the other side as you whispered, “Okay. Thank you, Suga. I love you, you know?” 

“I love you, too.” His own face was graced with a smile, though behind it he held all his emotions. How he wished to hear those words uttered in a non-platonic way. “Now get to class before you’re late! I’ll see you in a couple hours.”

While you were busy in class, both from note taking, group discussions, and trying your best to not break down any minute, Sugawara was busy in his own way. As soon as the phone call ended, he was out the door, making his way to the nearest convenience store, buying the essentials for healing a broken heart. Four pints of ice cream, a mix of his favorite flavors and yours, a couple bags of chips, some candy, and even a new stuffed teddy bear later, he was checking out, checking his phone constantly for the time, in case he had spent more time than he thought.

With his bags in hand, he made his way back to his apartment, getting everything set up for the movie night. While it wasn’t going to be a joyous occasion, he wanted it to have a happier atmosphere than what the topic of discussion would be. He placed the bags of chips and candy on the coffee table, the teddy bear placed between them; ice cream in the freezer for future consumption. Once the snacks were in place, he began to gather the softest blankets, grabbing your favorite along the way. 

Every time you would come over, no matter the temperature outside, he would find you curled up in it. One finals week while the two of you were cramming for an exam the next morning, he found you dozed off at the coffee table, the same fuzzy grey blanket wrapped around your shoulders. He even took a picture of you, asleep with your cheek in hand, other hand slack from writing notes that had since been abandoned. You still didn’t know about the picture to this day, but it was one he cherished. 

Time seemed to pass quickly as he finished getting everything together, not realizing the time until you knocked at his door. Answering it within seconds, he gave you a gentle smile, opening his arms for a hug he knew you desperately needed. That was all it took for the dam to break once more. As your arms wrapped around him, the tears fell in steady streams onto his t-shirt. 

His hands rubbed soothing circles on your back as he slowly shuffled backwards, pulling you two past the threshold, allowing him to close the door behind you. One hand rested on the back of your head, holding you close to his chest, the other in the middle of your back. The two of you stood there for what seemed like hours before you lifted your head, eyes red and puffy. Sugawara’s hand moved from the back of your head to hold your face, wiping away any remaining tears.

“Sorry for soaking your shirt.” you said with a small laugh, as you finally met his gaze. Warm, brown eyes full of nothing but comfort and safety met yours. There was a soft smile on his lips, while it was kind, it held a hint of sadness. 

“Don’t worry, I like my shirts soggy.” He said with a chuckle of his own. After making sure your face was dry of any tears, he nodded towards the living room. “Now come on, I have a little surprise for you!” 

After slipping your shoes off, you followed him into the living room, spotting the assortment of treats, along with the teddy bear. You swore you were done crying, but a few tears found their way out once more, but this time for a different reason. As you made your way to the coffee table, Sugawara disappeared to the kitchen, grabbing two pints of ice cream and spoons. When he reappeared, you were already curled up on the couch, blanket wrapped around your shoulders, bear in your lap, and a few tears rolling down your face.

“You really didn’t have to do all of this, Suga. A movie and talking would have been just fine,” you said as he sat down next to you handing off your chosen flavor and spoon. He scoffed at your remark, gesturing with his spoon.

“And just fine isn’t good enough! No one deserves to be broken up with through a text. Especially you, Y/n. Why, the next time I see him, he better watch his back.” He said, his glare pointed off to the side.

“There will be no fighting him, okay? Physical or verbally. What happened is… What happened. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming when I could have if I just looked.” You said, opening up the pint and taking a spoonful. With a small huff, he copied your motions, a beat of silence falling between the two of you. 

The lull in conversation lasted for a little while as neither knew what to say. You didn’t want to speak anymore on what had happened, but it was eating away at you. Sugawara could tell it was, so finally he spoke, clearing his throat before doing so.

“I’ll listen,” he said, his gaze meeting yours. The look you gave him was almost that of a puppy that had been scolded. Hurt. Sad. “When you’re ready, I’ll listen. You can tell me everything, okay?”

The two of you sat in silence for a minute more before he decided to put on a movie, filling the void. By the halfway point, the two of you had finished your pints, the cartons since abandoned on the coffee table. The other snacks are left untouched. Finally, you turn towards him and take a deep breath.

“I’m ready now.”

Those three words were all it took for him to pause the movie and shift to face you. For the next two hours, you spilled your emotions to him, both the highs and lows of the two month endeavor. At some point, he had pulled you into his arms and between his legs, his back against the arm of the couch with you on his chest. Your tears soaked his shirt once more as his hands ran up and down your back. Soon, you found yourself asleep in his embrace, exhausted from emotions.

Sugawara looked down at your finally peaceful face, cheeks stained from tears. Carefully, he placed a kiss on the crown of your head, closing his eyes as he silently prayed he would never see you like this again. 

After that night, you and Sugawara started to spend more time together. Not only for study nights, but weekly movie watch nights, daily lunch meet-ups, and impromptu ice cream runs. 

The three months leading up to finals left your old feelings to return, but somehow stronger. While you had gotten over Tendo rather quickly (and likewise with him. Not a week after your “break up” he was in a relationship with someone else) you didn’t want to admit your feelings for your best friend. At least that was the plan until a particularly late night study session that had you banging your head against a textbook that lay on the coffee table. 

“You know you can’t actually cram the information into your memory, right?” Sugawara said with a chuckle. You groaned in response, wadding up a piece of paper and throwing it at him. He batted it away swiftly, leaning on his elbows.

“I know that, but what I don’t know is how I’m expected to memorize all of these algorithms in order to pass!” You whined, giving up as you flopped onto your back, tugging the blanket that was around your shoulders closer. From his spot across the table, Sugawara continued to type away on his laptop, stifling a yawn. 

Laying there, you looked up at the ceiling, thinking back over the past few months. Your mind wandered back to that one terrible day and the lengths that Sugawara had gone through to make sure you were alright. It brought a smile to your face as you closed your eyes, giving a soft sigh. This caught the grey-haired boy’s attention, looking away from his work to see you with the dumbest grin on your face. He couldn’t help his own from pulling at his lips.

“What are you thinking about over there? Doesn’t seem like it’s math by the smile on your face.” 

“You.”

Caught off guard, he blinked a few times before responding. You, however, hadn’t realized what you had said just yet. While it wasn’t wrong, it was very bold.

“Me? What about me?” He asked, his curiosity overpowering his nerves for the time being.

“How you surprised me that one night. Ice cream, snacks, a teddy bear… Your smile, how much you always seem to make me laugh, you good of a hugger you are… How much I think I love you.” As you listed things off, you grew quieter and quieter, your voice a whisper by the end. 

Sugawara’s heart felt like it had just gotten done running sprints after losing a match back in high school. He felt his cheeks flush as he shifted to better look over the table at you. Never had you said you loved him outside of a friendly manner and here you were, on his living room floor confessing your love for him. 

“You think… You love me, Y/n?” The breath that he had been holding exhaled in a sigh afterwards, only to be replaced with another as he waited for you to respond. 

It was then that you realized what you had said. Immediately, you felt your cheeks flush as you sat up with wide eyes, abandoning the blanket on the floor. Looking like a deer in the headlights, you searched his face for a sign of anything. What you found were cheeks as red as your own, a hint of excitement behind his eyes, and a semi-confused look plastered on his face. You felt it was as good a time as any to get it off the table. Taking a deep breath, you nodded.

“I do, Suga. And I have since the first semester of sophomore year and I never told you because I didn’t think you felt the same way or that things would get a little awkward between the two of us. I tried to just push the feelings away or ignore them, hoping they would go away, but they didn’t and I was too dumb to say anything.”

In the silence that followed, you prepared yourself for the worst. However, the worst didn’t come. Instead, a small string of laughter fell from his lips as the corners of his eyes crinkled, a bright smile lighting up his face. 

“Then we are both dumb, Y/n! I did all of those things for you that night because not only are you my best friend, but I truly do love you. It hurt seeing you like that and I knew I couldn’t tell you how I felt because it wasn’t right.” 

Letting out a sigh of relief, you moved back to the coffee table, placing your elbows on it before laying your hands flat on the surface. Soon, his hands found yours, thumb brushing against the back of your hands. With a small laugh, you gave a small shrug.

With a breathy laugh, you responded, “Even so, why didn’t either of us say something sooner! Then we would have avoided all of that to begin with.” 

Sugawara just shook his head, giving your hands a tight squeeze. “True, but that was the past. Where we are now is where we were meant to be. Like I told you, it got better.”

“It did, and it was all because of you.” Turning your hands over in his, you gave them a gentle squeeze, to which he returned.

“I love you, Y/n”

“I love you, too, Suga.”

#sugawara x reader #sugawara x yn #sugawara x you #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara koushi x yn #sugawara koushi x you #sugawara fanfic #sugawara koushi #haikyuu fanfic #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x yn #haikyuu x you #reader instert #haikyuu reader insert #justpeachii #justpeachii originals #its here you guys i cannot believe it #im gonna go drink some tea now and maybe work more on the daichi spy au

[almguav]

lou jitsu

favorite thing about them

(Ima talk about him pre-mutation fyi) I can say a lot but one thing that sticks out to me a lot is how even tho he seems to want to live a luxurious lifestyle, what he really wants and attaches to is much more humble. With his love life, he thought he wanted starlets but his tailor driver is who he falls in love with. He rides ski boats and yachts but how does he spend quality time with his gf? just chillin and watching movies, and he was happy with it! He stopped fighting in the battle nexus even if that meant being locked in a prison and stripping away the amazing feeling or fame and glory. Like lou is so surprisingly down-to-earth and has a big heart,,,,it makes me sob

least favorite thing about them

dude CANNOT unclench his ass for the life of him, godspeed...

favorite line

“Well aren’t you cute! I will call you Green and you, Green Number 2! Uhh, how can I tell you turtles apart?” - Goyles, Goyles, Goyles

OTP

spiderjitsu is cute pre-kidnapping cause it’s clear they both had a a great relationship!...up until big mama decided her business was more important than her boyfriend/almost fiance, rip ;m; 

random headcanon

his hair is plastic at this point because of all the hair products he uses to keep such a glorious pompadour 

unpopular opinion

his eagle motif on his suit is never prioritized anywhere else and it INFURIATES ME

song i associate with them

Sleeping in the Aviary - Karen, You’re an Angle (the tones makes me think of what he would of been like if he had gone further with big mama ;w;)

favorite picture of them

he’s so cute here im in shambles hhghghgh

[spacenerrrd]

The Courtroom

Word Count: 1097 Warnings: Mention of Deceit (once, not a character), breakdown, being ignored, mentions of being left out, basically just a bunch of angst

Thank you @sidespromptblog for their post that prompted this idea

~~~

“Of course you suggested a salad Logan.”

“Not just a salad. Of course we need protein for a well rounded meal so we should have some baked chicken.”

Roman groaned. “YAWWNNN! We should just get Chinese takeout!”

“But Thomas should be eating consistently healthy as the fresh food will-”

“Borrringggg! We don’t do it very often, just let the poor man eat his favourite tonight!”

Logan turned to Patton for support, but was greeted with a weak smile.

“I really do miss their dumplings…”

“Exactly! Virgil, you agree with us don’t you?”

Logan turned to face the anxious side who just shrugged. “He has been nervous about his work recently… Maybe this might help him.”

“Right! So we’re gonna order a dish of dumplings, spring rolls, rice crackers-”

“With the amount you are going to order he will feel sluggish and guilty for eating so much unhealthy food.” Roman rolled his eyes. “No he won’t, it’s only this once he’ll be fine.” He turned around and walked into the kitchen to order.

Patton gave a soft smile to Logan. “Next time you can choose the meal we pick,” he patted his shoulder before following Roman.

“That’s what you said last time too,” Logan mumbled.

Virgil shuffled his feet a bit, not making eye contact with Logan. “Sorry, I-”

“It’s fine Virgil, I understand,” Logan interrupted Virgil apology.

Virgil gave an awkward nod before scattering into the kitchen with the others.

Logan watched them go off, laughing at something Roman said that he didn’t quite catch. He probably wouldn’t of understood the joke anyway. He never does.

Logan didn’t participate during family dinner time. He passed it off that he was feeling unwell, and before Patton could pull the puppy eye trick on him, he had sunk out of the room. But he wasn’t going to his room. Instead, he rose in the middle of the courtroom. He stood in front of where Roman sat as the judge, just a mere week ago. He turned his head slightly to look at the witness box, where he had been brought up as evidence for Deceit’s case.

Even though he was the most qualified to help them do it properly.

Even though they knew he liked to play pretend for the sake of knowledge after he opened up to them.

Logan closed his eyes, adjusted his tie and cleared his throat. When he reopened them, they burnt. They burnt with a sense of passion, fuelled with anger and a hidden sadness.

Then he let loose.

“Would you like to explain to me why they won’t listen to me?” His voice boomed, echoing in the empty room. “How no matter how many times I am proven right, they won’t take my advice? Why I’m always cast to the side?” He stepped forward, hands slamming against the front of the witness stand as what little control he had broke as he started to scream. “Why is it that no matter how many palm cards I make to assist me with understanding their language, that they just don’t love me? It’s so obvious that I try so hard! The evidence is there! I’ve opened up to them, I have followed their stupid ideas to please them, yet nothing is reciprocated! Why does this even affect me?! Why does this hurt!? I don’t want to… to feel this anymore.” His eyes were watering now, his yells starting to go raw. But his voice quieted down to a whisper, as any louder would make him crack “How do I make this go away?”

He stood there for at least ten minutes, allowing the shaking that was going through his arms calm down and stopping the speed at which his chest was rising and falling. Once he was able to take a deep breath without it being caught in the lump in his throat, he slowly started to move. His feet took him up the step and sat him in the seat behind the witness stand. He tucked the chair in and stared out. He looked out to where Virgil sat in the Jury, eyes gazing over to where Deceit and Patton played the lawyers.

Where he should of been.

Logan’s gaze went up beside him, where Roman ridiculed him and laughed at him for being hurt. For being lied at and for being left out. Again.

Finally, his eyes fell to the back of the room, to the seat that he was forced to. Out of the scenario, where everyone else got to participate but him. The only time he got involved was when he was used to correct and check information.

“That’s all I’m good for, that’s why,” He mumbled. “That’s all they keep me around for. Because I’m needed to correct information. They don’t want me. They need me, but they’re never going to love me.” Tears fell from his eyes, his voice wavering. “I… I l-love them… and it all hurts so much… I am done being used. I don’t just want to be their pawn. I am just so, so tired. These emotions are exhausting. I’m logic and yet I feel… this.”

Logan had to take a second, taking a deep breath because he was going to break but dear god did he have so much more.

“I don’t know how long I can keep going like this. Where every decision of mine is belittled and I’m constantly left out. Where I’m called apart of their family because they need me, when in reality th-they… I’m not… I just want… I want to be apart of the fa-family… and I can’t go much longer pretending I’m fine that I’m n-not…”

That was where Logan shattered.

He leant forward on his arms as he started to sob. It rippled through his body and shook him of everything he had. His saw throat cried out more as he choked on everything he had been holding in and all his suffering. He lost track of how long he had been sitting there, feeling disgusting at how he expressed his emotion. How it shattered every bit of him. Slowly, when someone the sobbing stopped and the tears had slowed down, Logan could no longer keep his eyes open. They inevitably closed from the weight of emotional turmoil and exhaustion, pulling him into a deep slumber. In his sleep, he would slowly pick up the pieces of his broken self. Then he would spend the morning stitching himself back together, piece by piece until his mask was perfect in place again.

Until he shattered yet again.

~~~

~~~

A/N: Well That Hurt.

And now, the tags (thank to the people who asked to be tagged, it was pretty nice uwu):

@emologan

@kastrefeila

@tacohippy56900

@ambersky0319

@smolgoblinsstuff

Fanders Logan Tag list:

@thats-so-crash

@Ffsas-side-account

@lo-brokeit

@yonnie-boy

@unknownsandersfan

@sanders-sides-shambles

@pandagirl0730

@bubblegum-borb

@the-feels-are-coming

@starry-eyed-haiku-dreamer

@logically-asexual

@hanramz-the-fander

@ahoardofsides

@callboxkat

@faacethefacts

@angered-turtle

@anachronistic-cat

@reba-andthesides

@AskolotlQuestions

@crankywhenprovoked

@katatles-the-fish

@ispeakhalflies

@dib-leo-pard

@sassy-in-glasses

@elvishfrenchassassin

@ocotopushugs

@goodonebadgirl

@kirsten-the-freak

@haikyuupaladin

@weird-short-person

@thisisshien

@lepardlover

@someshinningideas

@angeliclogan

@nightlovechild

@siriuswhiskers

@anastasialestina

@i-will-physically-fight-you

@ace-v-p-d

@radioactivebread

@theshipqueenarrives

@allthemetalsoftherainbow

@dudlebuggs

@cinquefoilelove

@rptheturk

@ono-its-ryane

@evilmuffin

@k9cat

@theresneverenoughfandoms

@raisin-oatmeal-cookie

@hamster-corn

@roman-is-a-dramatic-prince

@vulnerablevirgil

@confinesofpersonalknowledge

@candiukas

@thought-u-said-dragon-queen

@muontsy2

@katesattic

@toujours-fidele

@planetsanders

@anonymouseandkeyboard

@logan-exe

@jughead-is-canonically-aroace

@justmyshitandmoreshit

@blaikleethepanagender

@runyou-cleverboy-andremember

@heck-im-lost

@ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2

@beetlequail

@johnlockandrarry

@moltengoldenstardust

@analogical-mess

#hjdhjdshd #wow so this is uh #hurts #angst #sander sides #sander sides fanfic #logan sanders #deceit mention #owie #the courtroom