#sometimes the easy answer is the right one

[marrycv]

Pick up your phone!

paring : toxic!ellie x toxic!reader

warnings : Mention of weed, alcohol. Ellie’s punishment with sex. Mention of nudes. Oral (e!receiving), fingering (r!reveiving). Language, nicknames such as : slut, doll, angel, baby, bitch, motherfocker (and others). mention of yn like twice. Mention of cheating and lying and many other bad things 😅. Ellie and reader are NOT healthy, do not romanticize their relationship, its fucked up. Porn w out plot? (kinda). Both reader and ellie are mean and does fucked up shit. 18+

summary : You wait Ellie again. she’s late for 4 hours and she wants to make it up to you. But you didn’t want to fall in her arms this time- which you obviously lost at trying to do. Ellie’s mad and has a punishment for you when she was in the wrong, and you had every right to be mad at her.

kinda a scrap this is bad 🙏

short asf

you :

00:12 - Ellie, where are you?

00:34 - Ellie istg answer me!!

1:02 - c’mon you said you’d come over today

Els 🖕🏻:

1:55 - im omw

1:57 - dont bother.

2:01 - im sorry im late

2:01 - you’re always sorry, dont come home and go fuck one of your stupid fangirls

2:02 - im coming over

2:02 - i said no

2:03 - c’mon lemme make it up to you 💋

2:05 - im gonna block you

2:32 - yn? !message not delivered!

“fuck” Ellie mumbled under her breath, going out of the studio and jumps in her Truck. going over speed’s limit and then knocking hard enough on your apartment to wake up everyone else in the combo.

you get up from your bed, unable to sleep due to waiting for her all night.

you open your door and when you see Ellie standing in front of it, smelling weed and alcohol, you know she wasn’t gonna be easy to deal with tonight.

“Ellie go home, its 3 in the morning…”

“cmon let me in baby” she said in a whisper, almost sounding like a whine.

You and Ellie’s relationship was complicated- that was what you were saying to your friends, because the amount of time you two broke up, that she cheated on you, that you would expose her nudes on internet, that she would sleep with a stranger just to piss you off and somehow you’d still let her come back in your arms- as she did the same with you. you would do shitty things as well, like saying to all of her fans that the concert was cancelled or that it changed location. you could also post on twitter her worse secrets when you learned that she cheated on you. you’d also make up lies about some random stuff just to get a revenge out of her.

but mostly she would just fuck up your trust for her like coming home 4 hours later or cheating on the infinite amount of girls. she’d also love bomb you to get you back and then would disappear for weeks. she also showed all of her band’s member the sextape she got of you- and you knew after Dina, the base player told it to you. You and ellie would randomly call eachothers- especially when she or you were under something, most likely weed or alcohol but sometimes something else. It wasnt rare that you would make her jealous and posting a story of you and a girl on instagram and she’d come over to fuck you dumb. only to wake up alone in the bed.

“ellie please i just wanna sleep tonight, no fight.”

“and please i just wanna say sorry, no fight.” Ellie answered, thinking she was a smart girl for this one

you rolled your eyes.

“are you even able to walk?” you asked her, seeing her flushed cheeks and her eyes red like hell

“of course i am baby, im okay.. please let me just make it up to you im so sorry im late”

“no youre not! because you wouldve told me you’d come home late or you wouldve just told me that you were busy!!!”

“im so sorry..” she says in a childish tone, just as if she was mocking you for being so mad.

“fuck off els”

Ellie rolled her eyes and made her way inside, taking steps closer to you.

“dont talk to me like that.” Ellie says, looking right into your eyes- mood changing suddenly, she didnt get the answer she wanted.

“you dont show up 4 hours late, bitch”

Ellie’s jaw tightened and she looked at you furiously

“tell me you just wanted to fuck me Ellie.”

“dont you ever call me ‘bitch’ again.”

“or what? you’re gonna leave? that already happened, i can survive it.”

“nah.. im gonna give you a lesson.”

“the fuck you mean?”

“get on your knees” Ellie said, tone demanding.

“i wont do shit you ask me to do Ellie.” you say scared of what she’s gonna ask you to do. you have some suspicions, but your mind is overthinking about so many possibilities.

Ellie puts her hands on your shoulders and force you to get you on your knees. She looks at you from down and she takes off her pants along with her boxers.

“you know what to do now.” Ellie tells you, intertwining her fingers with your hair, pulling you closer to her pussy. You start to give her short licks, obviously nothing enough for her.

“I swear to god you motherfucker if you dont do what-“

Ellie started but got cut off with one of her whines by you sucking her clit like your life depended on it. Your knees hurts, but her grip in your hair is too strong for you to move. your holding her by the thighs, moaning against her cunt by how good she tastes. obviously pussydrunk by her. and the perfect little grunts she would make made you so fucking wet. her hips would be jerking against your face, riding your tongue the best she could to chase your high. Ellie would never tell you, but you ever were the only one to make her cum. she knew that it would make your ego so much too high if she told you that on countless girls you were the only one able to please her. you know her sweet spots and she wasnt scared to be vulnerable with you. she always was. and you always were too.

“Fuck- fuck.. just like that, yeah”

her grunts would turn into whines and her whines into small moans. Ellie wasnt that much of a loud girl, but you knew if she was vocal- it was good. it made you laugh, sending vibrations through her clit.

“Im gonna- fuckkk!!” she moans out as she cums in your mouth. you still suck her clit as she rides your tongue for her high to be longer.

you get up from your knees and ellie kisses you, tasting herself on your tongue. the kiss turns rapidly messy and rough. Ellie would hold you by the hips, directing you by the bed. as soon as you touched the bed, she made you lay down on it and she got on top of you, still making out with you. her kisses got on your jaw until your neck. she then took a pause to look at you. you were eye doying her- she would always win. you were her little slut.

“only needed my” puts a finger into your core “fingers to shut that attitude huh?”

she takes off your shirt- which you were braless under it. peaking already your tits, ellie titled her head, smirking

“you got ready for me, doll?”

you nodded, wanting more of her.

“nuh huh, words baby, i want words.” she told you as the sucked one of your nipples as one of her hand was massaging the other breast. as her other hand was working on your clit to make you feel sooo good.

“j-just for you els!” you obey to her request, only wanting her to go faster.

“faster el- faster!!” you try to manage to tell her.

“faster huh?” Ellie says as she just slows her pace of her fingers brushing against that sweet spot of yours.

“please ellie!!” you beg for her to go faster as she just slows down again and again.

“i didnt say you’d get a good time Baby, this is your punishment, as deserved.”

“please.. ill be good Ellie- never gonna be m-mean with you ever” you faked promised her, just needed to tell her whatever she wanted to hear.

“yeah? you’d do this for me, angel?” Ellie asks as shes at only one finger, completely ruining you. completely making you cry for more- needing more.

“id do anything- just please fuck me ellie, fuck me.”

-

2 days after this huge mistake. You and Ellie started to do this kind of thing all the time. She’d piss you off, you’d be mad, she’d become madder for something she made you mad at- and would finish as sex. the only way you two did work out with.

she made you feel so good and you made her feel better.

This was unhealthy, but she was so addictive.

she’d come home in the middle of the night- wouldnt care if you were deep asleep or had a party- she’d take care of that pussy no matter what. Her songs would be about you two relationships.

Everyone liked it.

and you were happy you had such a big impact that she wrote- and sang about you.

But she didnt see you that pretty- you were her fucking toy.

14:01 : why the fuck did you say that i was toxic in your song?

15:56 : because you are.

15:59 : fuck you els

16:01 : you wish <3

16:01 : you’re the toxic one in our relationship

16:30 : 💀💀 hell nah

16:31 : Ellie how many times did you cheat on me?

17:23 : babe, we were on break how many times do i get to tell you that?

17:23 : anyways i gtg ill see you tonight ;)

She wasnt easy and you werent either.

but whatever, she has become way more famous than ever.

she’d send you those pictures before a show, trying to make you come to one (which you did but didnt tell her).

“does that feel good els?” you say as your face was in between her thighs, on your knees just like how she loved you like that.

“fuck babe dont stop!!” Ellie would tell you into a soft tone, not so much like that little ‘dominant’ cover she’s making everyone believe she was. she was always the one screaming your name over and over.

she then would make you see heaven with her cock filling you up, camera in one hand and the other one on your breast. She’d look at it all the time, rolling circles on her clit whenever she missed you and you blocked her so she couldnt ask you for any nudes- she has better, she could literally see you in action getting fucked by her.

she loved you, that was why she was so fucked up at showing it.

and you just were getting revenge for how she made you feel.

But in a way you two belonged together.

But she’d still use you for your amazing body and how good your tongue felt against her cunt.

you were her little stress reliever. (you’d let her do whatever she wanted to you- you’d just never tell her that)

request are open 💋

#ellie williams #ellie fanfic #the last of us #ellie smut #ellie x reader #tlou fanfiction #wlw ns/fw #wlw post #wlw smut #toxic relationship #toxic love #toxicity #not healthy #wrong #ellie x you #ellie x fem reader #smut #so hot and sexy #dom x sub

[midnight-moth]

For the Zeph/Ifrit maybe just some look ins on how they take care of each other? How to do relax after shows, are they a cuddly pair? Do they have any cute things like how Raindrops is the strawberry waffles. Maybe some of their spicy headcanons, who leans more to dominate, who leans more into submissive, any specific kinks they adore? <3

Hellooooo

Okay, I’ll do my best…. I realize I have a lot of ideas about them that I’ve never really put down so it’s like trying to turn an impressionist painting into a word doc. Rambles below the cut

I do think that Ifrit requires as much care as Zeph does, maybe in a different way? In my mind, Ifrit has lots of very BIG feelings. About everything. He has a massive heart, and he cares A LOT. Sometimes to his own detriment. Worrying about everyone else’s needs and wants and desires, whilst sacrificing his own well-being. (Kilonova readers - yes, the same way). I think Ifrit is mischaracterized. I think people view him as a bit simple, a bit of a himbo if you will. I think he thought for a long time, well, if the shoe fits. I think maybe he’s allowed himself to be taken for granted, or used. Because at least he’s still useful.

Zeph who is never looking for anything fast or easy, takes the time to know him. To refuse the initial invitation to Ifrit’s bed. It’s one of the first things he offers because he assumes that’s what people want from him. Ifrit is definitely confused when he is only partially rejected. Zeph wants his time, not his body. (He will eventually, but gray-ace Zeph for the win). Ifrit starts to doubt his own self-perception, that he is some highly sexual being, when he is actually just sexualized.

I think the first time they’re together Ifrit doesn’t even know what to do with himself. He doesn’t need to perform, but he does have to be present. Zephyr’s white-blue eyes bore right into him. He realizes for the first time, he doesn’t even know what he likes. His MO has always been to try to figure out what will be expected of him, or perhaps it’s outright demanded. He is a people pleaser, and maybe once it was necessary for survival but not anymore.

So to answer the question, of spicy headcanons, I do think for these two they’re pretty damn vanilla. Because once Ifrit knows how truly valued and cherished he is, how loved, he can’t really imagine anything hotter than that. He’ll happily settle for missionary sex just so he can see the way Zephyr looks at him. To know that his pleasure is of equal importance, what he likes and what he does not actually matters (prefers a hand job over head because he’d rather be kissing Zeph than staring at the top of his head). Sorry if that is a boring answer, I really don’t see them being all that kink-driven. I think Ifrit has been there and done that and circled back to wanting mushy gross sappy sex.

Also, I think Zephyr tries so hard to be independent for the above reasons. He doesn’t want Ifrit to feel like he has to take care of him. I think it takes time and trust before he allows Ifrit to care for him. He has to be worn down. Maybe he’s a little bit proud too. (Stubborn AF)

I think Ifrit collects all of the feathers that end up in his bed. Likes to fan them out sometimes, run them over his fingers and appreciate what it’s like to miss someone and know they miss you too. Maybe Zeph plucks a flight feather to leave on his pillow because they’re the biggest and the prettiest. Maybe he leaves them in his shoe, in his pocket, in his guitar case.

I do think Ifrit sometimes doesn’t know how to accept all of this, to feel worthy of it. Reminds me of someone coughwheezehackdewdrop.

As far as food goes, I think Ifrit’s palette is little on the simple side. Whereas Zeph is more adventurous but where they meet in the middle is pasta. Zeph teaches him to make a very simple pasta dough from scratch and it’s the most magical thing to him. I think a simple bolognese is their fav but they’re down for some cacio e pepe too. Once Zeph braised some beef for like 12 hours to make ragu and Ifrit maybe cried a little when he tasted it. Mostly knowing someone would bother to do that for him.

Also 11/10 very cuddly always being cute and finding ways to stay connected. Even if it’s Zeph’s feet pushed against Ifrit’s thigh while they read, or the backs of their hands resting against each other at the dinner table. I think they’re subtle about it. (Most of the time)

Okay I think I’ve rambled enough…

#I don’t know man I just rambled #sorry if you were looking for something in a fic like format #zephyr ghoul #Ifrit ghoul #nameless ghoul headcanons #midnight moth writes #not really writing but the tag helps me find it #midnight moth answers

[cripplecharacters]

that has a supporting character with dwarfism, and he's really close with his older brother, who is pretty tall. would it be weird if i sometimes had the younger ask his older brother pick him up so he can reach things? its supposed to be a cute little quirk of theirs that shows their bond, but i'm worried it might come off as weird for some reason. also, do you guys could give me a couple more tips on writing a character with dwarfism, if you have any? thanks in advance! (2/2)

Hi! the guy who asked about less talkative autistic characters here. sorry about that! i was going for more of like... don't talk to a point where it wouldn't be considered "socially acceptable?" but i had a character limit so i couldn't really get my point across that well. now that i think about it, that would probably also be lumped into just, yknow, not being talkative too. anyways, i have another unrelated question! probably equally silly but w/e. i'm writing a slice-of-life story (1/2)

Hello lovely asker!

I just wanna say that because of the ask backlog and the rotation of mods I'm afraid I don't know what ask your talking about, but I'm sure it was simply just a question that was in good faith of curiosity which is what this blog is for 😊

And to answer your question, I'm curious with how old the younger brother is. I haven't been picked up since I was probably about five to help me reach something and even then I was getting yelled at for climbing counters and such. If the younger brother isn't a very young child I would avoid this.

Being picked up is a general no. if you wouldn't do it to anyone else don't do it to someone with dwarfism or any person with a disability. Unless it's under their explicit permission, or help with transferring (from say a mobility aid to a bed or another place etc) or life or death situation, it's almost always a no.

Instead using things like the broom handle to hit tall switches or they even have these things called a "Reacher Grabber" that makes grabbing high up things super easy. Stool also are a big help, the small collapsible ones are easy to carry and move, and certain placed handles help too. Tall people are an advantage I will say though. Having the older brother bring something down to the younger brother is fine. Also have the younger brother climb things and stack objects and use the environment around him so he can get what he wants. I assure you this is what most of us do a lot.

A few more writing tips I have would be:

Research different types of dwarfism and find out which one you want your character to have and how this will affect him. It doesn't have to be mentioned at all but you knowing what type will give you much more insight into building this character.

Don't be afraid to give them mobility aids. A lot of people with Dwarfism have them and use them because they help us and they're pretty common in the community. (Do plenty of research there too if they do have one!)

A joke once or twice, especially if the two characters are very very close, about his dwarfism is okay! Me and my friends joke about mine all the time but quantity control along with a joke in good taste and timing is very important.

The character getting frustrated with his disability is okay too! It happens to me a lot but usually I'll find a solution right after to the thing that frustrated me and that frustration is gone as quick as it came.

If he's having a long conversation or an eye-to-eye conversation with someone that's tall, have them sit down somewhere, get to eye-level (I wouldn't have them lean over to his height though). It really does start to hurt your neck and head after looking up at everyone for so long.

And lastly, I certainly use my height to my advantage in multiple different scenarios. Small hands and small containers or spaces are very compatible with one another. And even though I have to shop in the small teens or kids section for clothes or shoes, I will say certain things are made better for kids (for some reason). But I also know how to hem my own clothes and how to fix them! A lot of people with dwarfism make or modify their own clothes. I can't tell you the amount of times I've gotten discounts at buffets and restaurants because people just assume I'm a child and I'm not gonna protest the discount either so. There are many fun aspects to having dwarfism, I have more fun with it and get more laughs and community out of it than frustration or anything else.

I know there's many more little things that I'm forgetting right now but the dwarfism community could probably add a few things too. Good luck writing!

~ Mod Virus 🌸

#mod virus #anonymous #dwarfism

[grimm-writings]

May I request a Holm x reader where his sister introduces you to him as an apprentice for spirit care?

where the heart is

…ft! holm x gn! reader

…tags! fluff, meet-cute, mentioned kabru wrecking homes (/lh)

…wc! 930

…notes! i’ve seen your acc around my friend you’re like the head of the holm fanclub in my brain. i have so much respect for ya. i hope i do your man justice!!! 

Knowing your friend as well as you do, you didn’t doubt she would eventually introduce you to her younger brother in due time.  All three of you are elemental spirit researchers, and though the siblings are rather estranged, you hear a thing or two about this ‘Holm’ individual whenever a certain pretty-faced tall-man comes by.

“Who’s Holm?” You one day ask.  Your gnomish friend shrivels up slightly at the question.  She doesn’t normally talk about her family, a bit too estranged from them to really care too much for them.

“My brother.  You heard Kabru, I’m sure,” she answers.

You shake your head.  “Yeah, but who is he?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I’m curious.”  You smile in a way that sends a shiver up your friend’s spine.  “You know me!”

Since she’d rather not deal with your questioning, she instead arranges through Kabru to introduce you both.  Your incessant ramblings of how he must be a talented researcher if he makes use of spirits in adventuring, and how you’d like to study under him made her blood boil.  This is the only way she’ll find respite.

You’d spot Holm instantly in a tavern – he looks similar enough to his sister after all – and put on your best, brightest smile.  Beside you, your friend adjusts her glasses to deadpan you.

“Don’t get your hopes up about this apprenticeship thing,” she advises.

You reach out to pat her cheek, tutting.  “Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head!  I’ll only be an hour, and so much can happen in that time!”

Leaving your friend to scrunch up her face in disgust at your delight at getting your way, you’d skip away to introduce yourself to Holm.

Names are exchanged, and you and the gnome shake hands.  Gosh, now that you’re here, you can feel your nerves start to catch up to you.  Holm seems easy–going enough, a little less prickly than his sister, but still witty enough to catch you out with jokes you wouldn’t expect.

“You study elemental spirits, and utilise them in dungeons, right?”  You call upon previous knowledge of the gnome across from you.  “That sounds fascinating!  How do you do it so easily?”

Holm lazily grins at you, endearment crossing his expression at how interested you seem to be.  Whether it’s interest in him or his study, he seems flattered.  “Spirit care comes easy.  It’s like raising a pet.  I had Marillier, an undine, in my care since she’s just a little droplet.  With time and trust, calling upon an elemental spirit’s help comes easy.”

“Ooh, how wise!”  You clasp your hands together.  “You’d make a great teacher, Holm.  Ever thought of taking in an apprentice?”

Holm tilts his head.  “Ah, interested, are you?”

Knowing you’d been caught, you simply smile at Holm with a bit of sheepishness.  “Is that so bad?  Your sister hardly mentioned you, but you seem so intelligent!  I should thank that Kabru man for letting me know of your existence!”

At the mention of his sister and party leader meeting, Holm frowns.  “They’re still meeting, eh?  Nothing too suggestive going on between them, I hope?”

Even when filled with a slight sense of disgust, you can’t help but find him cute.  Haaahhh, this will be the death of you!

“Don’t worry,” you reassure, “he merely comes over for tea sometimes.”

You neglect to leave out the type of letters she’d be writing to him.  That’s a bit much for what you consider a first date.

Holm heaves a sigh of relief, reaching up to twirl his hair.  “Thank goodness for that…”

The conversation continues, the two of you getting along like a house on fire, until Holm’s sister comes by to pick you up an hour later.

Just before you say your goodbyes, you perk up.  “Oh!”  Turning to Holm one final time you smile.  “Sorry, but I didn’t get your answer on that apprenticeship idea?”

Holm ponders on this for a few seconds, almost freezing in place at your sudden question.  A long few moments pass, and your friend was just about to speak up when Holm shyly interrupts.

“I don’t think I can take you on as an apprentice… I think I’d prefer a more personal relationship with you, if that’s alright…”

The answer, even if it wasn’t the outcome you predicted, fills you with happiness unlike any other nevertheless.  You graciously thank Holm, turning to your friend with a wicked grin, reacting in shock at the fact you’re just inviting yourself into her family.

“Ah–” Holm says.  “Before you go…”

“Yes?”  You face the gnome again, blinking curiously.

He takes a few moments to gather himself, before asking, “would you like to join me for dinner tomorrow evening?  I’m free, so…”

“I’d be honoured!”  You don’t even hesitate to reply.  You can sense your friend’s disgust even without looking at her.

Holm smiles with relief.  “Thank you.  I’ll meet you outside this tavern again…?”

“Yes!”  You nod eagerly.  “I’d even bring along some of my own notes if you’d like to compare!”

“Ah, a study date?”  Holm perks up slightly.  “Yes, I’d like that a lot…”

“I’m still here, you know,” Holm’s sister dryly butts in.  With some apologies, she finally drags you away from her brother, grumbling that this must be how he feels about her flame…

You giggle at her reaction once you walk outside.  “Oh, don’t be like that!”  You whine.  “Aren’t you happy to have me be a part of your home?”

“You better not!”

You blissfully ignore her scolding.  Yes, a successful venture indeed.

#✮ grimm's fics! #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi imagines #dungeon meshi x reader #delicious in dungeon #delicious in dungeon imagines #delicious in dungeon x reader #holm #holm x reader #holm kranom #holm kranom x reader #holm imagines #holm kranom imagines #that'll probably do tagwise #do you get the pun. holm is where the heart is. haha.

[hero-israel]

Something I've found quite frustrating is that critics of the IDF's conduct in Gaza seem to be making easy and simple (but wrong) accusations, that then allow Israel/the IDF to respond to those accusations and ignore a real but more complicated problem (or at least distract from it).

The prime example of this is food aid: it seems like every criticism on this front is "Israel is stopping food aid entirely because it is deliberately trying to starve Gazans to death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And then Israeli/IDF spokespeople can go "no, we actually let a lot of food in, here's a photo of all the pallets of food that have gotten into Gaza that no one has picked up and distributed yet" and then not have to talk about how right now the ACTUAL problem seems to be that food aid can't get where it needs to go WITHIN Gaza, and how that is actually at least partially the fault of the IDF invasion because it damaged or destroyed the literal streets trucks of food aid would take to get to where it needs to, as well as the logistical systems to distribute it, plus the fact that getting the food where it needs to go requires crossing areas that the IDF considers open-fire zones, and that sometimes means that food aid convoys get blown up by the IDF even though the IDF should know they're food aid convoys and not terrorists.

And to be fair the other side of the coin is Hamas and other armed groups stealing food for themselves or to sell on the black market, and the third side of the coin is organizations like UNRWA being incompetent at distributing the aid, and that after prodding by the US and others and several catastrophic failures the IDF/Israel appear to be making a serious effort to fix things, but still, people miss the point to make easy (and wrong) arguments.

This is a good summary of why entering Gaza was an obvious trap, why I could never come out fully in favor of it, and why I can't say with any real confidence that it has made anything better. Once you've destroyed a territory's infrastructure and roads, there are only so many times you can say "but that's not the real problem" when people are (allegedly) starving. With the whole world making accusations and asking loaded questions non-stop, just the sound of repeatedly having to answer them makes the reasons seem less important than the crisis. It's just as Colin Powell warned in 2003 - "you break it, you bought it."

[tokio-motel]

hi! can I request Tom Kaulitz x male!reader who's insecure about his looks and Tom comforts him and reassures him he looks perfect??

TOM KAULITZ X MALE! READER: PERFECT

tw: insecurities, tom is too hot i want him oiled up on my lap

・you are gorgeous, readers! always remember that 💚

You knew Tom loved you for who you were, not strictly drawn to just your body. Sure, he loved to wrap his hands around your waist or run his fingertips down your chest. But he was truly drawn to you strictly from your personality, which stood out to him among others.

You were perfect in his eyes, and he always made sure to tell you every day he possibly could. The constant words of "You look perfect, baby." or "You look so handsome in that outfit!" would be said over and over, and it made you smile each and every single time.

So why couldn't you actually believe his words? Each time he complimented you- or anybody else for that matter- you always seemed to take it with a grain of salt. Whether it was on looks, smarts, thr way you dressed, you could never seem to be...content?

You said thank you to each compliment, offering a kind smile and sometimes maybe you'd even get a little flustered.

But here you were, sitting infront of the bedroom mirror and staring blanky at yourself. You took in every little feature, hoping the ones you deemed "imperfect" would go away. You knew deep down it wouldn't, couldn't work like that. It wasn't that easy. But you'd do it alot, it seemed to take up a lot of time.

Sometimes you'd cry a bit, the salty tears flooding your eyes and rolling down your cheeks that were now slightly red. You'd wipe them with your thumbs, sniffling softly. But your eyes would remain fixated on the mirror, taking in your face, body, hair, shit. Everything you could see.

You jumped as Tom grabbed onto your shoulder, a sleepy grin on his face. "Wha'cha doing, baby? It's late." He murmurs, letting out a soft yawn as he blinks wildly to stay somewhat concious. You gave him a smile, tearing your eyes from the mirror. "Sorry, I got distracted. I'll be in bed in a moment." You say to him softly, watching as he raises an eyebrow and looks into the mirror. He gently turns your chin so you look at him in the reflection.

"You're s' pretty." He mumbles softly, his voice low and quiet from his tiredness. A small frown tugs on the corner of your lips, yet you instantly correct yourself with a smile. "Thank you. You're pretty too."You tease back, watching with a small laugh as he rolls his eyes.

He frowned, noticing how your eyes were slightly tinted red. "You high?" He asks softly, watching as you chuckled and shook your head. "No, no! Not right now."

"Mmmm..." He hums, his fingertips running along your cheekbone. "You're so handsome, my baby." He whispers softly, noticing the way your eyebrow slightly raises. "You think I'm lyin'?" He asks playfully with a grin, yet it falters when you actually seem to be debating it.

"...I dunno." You mutter softly, getting up as your fingers reach for the lightstwitch, Tom's hands suddenly grabbing yours and stopping you. He turns your head back to the mirror, his chin resting on the top of your head.

"Why would I lie about that? You're perfect." He whispers, his fingers gently brushing over your cheeks. "Your eyes, your lips, your nose...sweetheart you have the prettiest face ever." He says softly, smiling at you through the mirror. "And I would never want you any other way."

His fingers wipe at your waterline when he watches tears pool, threatening to spill. "I'm sorry. I'm being stupid." You whisper, voice slightly trembling as you sniffle, shaking your head. "You're not stupid. There's no reason to be sorry," he answers, voice gentle but firm.

"You're perfect, baby, perfect. Everything about you is exactly as it should be. I have no doubt in that."

#i havent written fluff in so long please cut me some slack #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel x male reader #tokio hotel x you #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz x y/n #tom kaulitz x male reader #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x you #x reader #x male y/n #x male reader

[poetryandfluffycats]

Quiz time!

A/N: took a small break but im back and im writing bungo fics. hope you enjoy

Pairing: Kidnapper!Nikolai Gogol x fem!reader

Warnings: dark content, kidnapping, mentions of animal violence, mentions of human violence, implied abuse

Content: Nikolais been keeping you trapped in his basement for 3 weeks now. What does he have in store for you today? You have no idea

Words: 1.0k

Oneshot under cut!

"Oh darling! I'm home!"

The infamous voice of Nikolai Gogol shot through the basement, followed by the sound of his leather shoes creaking against the stairs. My head snapped up from its place on the pillow, watching him with wide eyes as he descended to the bottom of the staircase. The jester had a smile on his face, seeming all too giddy about... something. What that something was, I had no idea.

He was quick to skip over to me, looming over my curled up form under the covers, a hand buried deep into the abyss of his coat. He pulled out a bouquet of pink roses, shoving them under my nose. "For you, my dove" he purred, his voice dripping like sickly sweet honey.

I took them, albeit hesitantly, and examined them with a cautious eye. They were pretty, a light, pastel pink color with a white ribbon tied around the stems, and smelt like heaven. A sweet-but not too strong-floral scent that reminded me of the spring time. It was a nice gift, no one could deny that, but knowing Nikolai...

There had to be some type of ulterior motive.

"Pretty..." I murmured, holding the flowers close to my chest. "Thank you..."

I hadn't spoken much since I got here, only ever really muttering a word or two to keep him satisfied. He talked enough for the both of us, anyway, or at least that's what he had said when my lack of words first was noticed by him.

"Only the best for my sweetest dove! Now, come come, what shall we do today? You're probably just dying to have some fun, right? Aha! I know!" Before I could fully understand anything he had said, Nikolai pulled the covers back and lifted me in his arms, carrying me bridal style as he twirled around the basement.

"Quiz time!"

Quiz time. His way of asking personal questions on the justification that it was 'just a game' and 'there's no need to be shy". Sometimes he'd throw in random questions about Ukrainian literature, to which I almost never got right. I think that maybe he thought that asking a few general questions among all the pervy, personal ones would make me more comfortable, or less likely to catch on to the real meaning behind his game. It didn't.

I hated Quiz time.

Nikolai plopped me down on the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of me. His teeth showed as his lips curled upwards into a toothy grin, head tilted to the side and eyes blown wide. Maybe that's just how he always looked.

"Question 1! What is your favorite color?"

It was such a simple question, childish even. Something a teacher would ask their preschoolers on the first day of school. Yet, it made my throat close up, heat beating faster and faster as the seconds ticked by. What was my favorite color? Did I even have one anymore? What was the point in having a favorite color if I was trapped down here?

"Uh..." I stuttered, eyes flickering around the room. Anywhere was better than Nikolais cold, mismatched eyes. "Purple... b-but I also like red"

Nikolai clapped his hands together, a high pitched squeal leaving his lips. "Wonderful! Gosh you are just too cute, I might simply combust! But then you'd be stuck cleaning my brains off the wall which I don't think you'd like very much, so I'll refrain for you, my darling"

Cleaning brains off the walls? He said it so casually, like it was a normal passtime for him. Was it? Probably.

"Question 2! What is your favorite animal?"

This one was easy enough, and a small smile creeped onto my face as I answered. "Kittys, I have a few at home. They're the best little guys"

My heart ached at the thought of my fur babies. How long had they gone without food or water? Without being pat or doted on? Did they miss me? Had someone taken them in or were they sitting at the window waiting for my return?

Would I return?

Nikolai squealed again, his smile growing impossibly wider, the tips of his lips nearly touching his ears. "Cats are adorable! So fluffy and cute and squishy! I would just love to squeeze them until their little heads popped off!"

He suddenly scooted closer to me, the space between us slowly decreasing until our knees knocked together. He brought his fingers up to my cheeks, pinching them as if I was a baby. "Just like you! Squish, squish, squish! So damn cute"

Our noses bumped together as he leaned in closer, those cold eyes hyper-focused on my lips. I felt like I might hurl as his hands trailed down from my cheeks to my waist, his fingernails digging into the flimsy fabric of the nightgown he forced me into my first day here. This was wrong. So, so wrong.

"Please" I whined, tears threatening to spill at any second. "Please don't"

I had been so lucky the past 3 weeks with him not touching me, not with sexual intent anyway. No kissing, no touching, no... sex. Nothing. He would ask his stupid questions, force me to play his stupid games, and lay with me in bed at night, but that was it. But now, it seemed my luck had finally run out.

"Question 3!" Nikolais voice dropped an octave, sending a shiver down my spine. "Now, dove, this is the last question, so make sure you pay extra attention, mkay?"

Not like I had a choice.

"Who do you love the most in this whole wide world?"

There was only answer to that question. Only one answer he wanted, anyway. I had learned the hard way what the consequences of getting it 'wrong' were. It was so degrading, humiliating, dehumanising even, the punishment he had given me for answering with the wrong person. I wasn't keen to go through that again.

"You, Nikolai. I love you the most" I sounded robotic, like a puppet. Which in reality, I kind of was. Just a little puppet in his clown show.

"Correct! 3 for 3, you're so smart! Now, for the reward"

And then, his chapped, cracked, messily painted lips were on mine. It wasn't recpirocated, it wasn't even pleasant. It was gross, slimy, wet like a fish. Maybe I could pretend I was making out with a fish. That would've been million times better than this bullshit.

I hated it.

I hated him.

I hated myself.

#oneshot #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #yandere bsd #yandere bungo stray dogs #nikolai gogol #nikolai gogol x reader #bsd nikolai #Nikolai x reader #decay of angels #yandere #yandere nikolai gogol #yandere nikolai x reader #yandere x reader

[not-poignant]

Good day! A genuine question. Do you really won't think about comment like " WOW!!! Thank you for this chapter! " from a person who usually writes more in-depth commentaries as something like " they didn't llke it enough for the extra sentence or two " ?

Hi anon!

So, everyone's human. Even the people who love to leave longer comments get tired sometimes, or have other things going on in their life.

And I'd rather those people leave a shorter comment or an emoji, than like, feel guilty about not leaving long comments, or just vanish into thin air (at which point I just assume they've stopped reading, because I have literally no evidence otherwise unless they're sending replies or something else). Though obviously people can stop commenting too!

There are some people who leave me three hearts (or around 3 hearts) every chapter they read. I take them as little extra kudos, or just a little sign of appreciation. It's someone going 'I'm here, I like this.' And I reply with little hearts as a little sign of appreciation to go 'I'm here too, thank you, I see you.'

That's special to me.

I love love love long meaty comments that I can sink my teeth into, but I love all my commenters, anon.

But even the people who love leaving long comments get tired, get stressed out, can't think of words, have nothing to say because they're speechless, and then it's like well, I hope they feel comfortable enough to just leave a 💜💜💜 - and if they can't, they can't.

If people don't like my fic, anon, they stop reading! They don't leave comments, they stop leaving comments and they disappear (which is why when a regular commenter vanishes, that's when I think they don't like the chapter/s or story anymore, which is fair, and they don't have to, but sometimes it can make me a little sad).

But yeah the sign of a person who doesn't like to read a story is a person who isn't there to read the story at all! Not someone who only has the energy or will to leave a sentence or two! Some of those people don't speak English as a first language, and still practicing, some are really tired, some genuinely don't have much to say, some are embarrassed because it was a sex scene, etc. There's lots of reasons!

Everyone who's ever left a long comment doesn't need my permission, but certainly has it to leave extremely tiny comments when it's all they can manage / and they want to leave something! Honestly, putting pressure on yourself to leave long comments every single time can actually stress people out to the point that they stop reading fics when they know they can't comment like that, I've been in that position myself and that's not...what we're going for.

I want people to enjoy the story first, because like...that's...what I want the most. :)

(For folks wondering, this is - I think - in reference to this post I reblogged earlier today).

#asks and answers #pia on fanfiction #pia on writing #pia on fandom #i don't think 'didn't they like it enough to say more' - that thought has never entered my mind anon! #i think 'wow they liked it!' #or 'wow they left little hearts that's sweet' #some people can't think of what to say for lots and lots of reasons #and lots of people are so tired and so burnt out right now #even i am #so we have to spend our energy wisely #i love *all* my commenters #from the ones who leave two random comments #to the ones who comment every chapter #to the ones who comment long comments and short ones #to the ones who only send hearts #in fact there are lurkers who i think never ever would have commented #if i hadn't said i was okay with hearts and stuff first #and they learned i *meant it* #sometimes you gotta start easy y'know?

[thepavementsings]

how do y'all get over the anxiety of commenting on writers' fics who you think are beyond the level any engagement you can possibly provide? Genuine question like what are your tips.

#like real answers only please lol not the 'everyone loves every comment just say whatever!' #because one it's not that easy #and two ive heard authors be annoyed at comments that arent good or smart enough 😅 #like when an authors' writing is just so smart you feel like you cant possibly have anything valuable to say about their work back #that would be a worthy engagement to the amount of talent and intelligence they've already put into the work #it is much easier to yell back in my beloved bestie mutuals' DMs about something theyve written #or someone I know on the periphery #than to comment on the mutuals' fics that are like. the intimidating genius mutuals you havent built the rapport with #i always have so many of these big fics i want to say how much i loved but feel like i have to be smart enough to prove that i GET it yknow #sometimes I put off reading the ones i really want until i think im gonna be in the right mindset to understand what i think they want me t #which is maybe a bad way to engage but i struggle w this so much so any advice on essentially how to get over my inferiority complex thanks

[infinitethree]

Hi Day and whoever happens to be around! I have an odd question for you. How is it that the monsters and such in SMPza is so different from the ones from the Sanctuary reality? Shouldn't both be alittle more similar in that regard? How was there a den of chimeric creatures in SMPza but not in Sanctuary?

Day is sitting in his den, evidently having been working on knitting a blanket. With him is Perce, who is sprawled out on one of the couches. The younger Dream variant is paying extremely close attention to the movie on the TV.

Perce jumps at the sound of the question, enough so to send himself crashing to the floor.

Day peers over at him, but doesn’t go to help him up. He’s well aware that his second youngest son is no stranger to bumps, bruises, and being attacked by multiple people after a prank got a little too far under their skin. “You good?” “I got ambushed by a disembodied voice in my own home,” Perce complains. “What about that is good?”

A moment passes, and Day points out, “If I wanted to be a smartass, I’d tell you that technically, it’s my home–” “Dad, really?!” “But I’ll restrain myself,” he finishes, despite the outburst.

His second youngest points an accusatory finger at him. “That’s a dick move and you know it.” 

With an incredulous scoff, Day tells him, “Perseus, you got multiple board games banned and I’ve had to set rules for what's acceptable for family movie night.” “There wasn’t anything saying I couldn’t splice together the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy–” “Yeah, because none of your brothers thought to do it. You gave them the idea and now we all have to suffer the consequences.”

Even though he huffs like he’s annoyed, Perce has a wide grin as he flops back down on the sofa. “No regrets.” 

“I’m aware.” Much like Perce, Day has a smile and his tone is warm, if a little exasperated.

His son refocuses him by saying, “Disembodied voice has a point, though. Everything I hear about the SMPza makes it sound weird. Wasn’t your theory that it’s made out of your admin light– or whatever it was you called it? Why’s it so different than here, then?”

There’s a furrow of Day’s brow as he tries to explain it. Some of the evidence he has is little more than a gut feeling– a sense that the world wasn’t allowed to diverge from the first life he had had in certain ways. Some events seemed fated to happen, even if that meant things or people bending and stretching in ways that they shouldn’t.

“...Too many similarities,” he murmurs. Perce argues, “Dad, we’re cosmically the same person.” 

“No it’s– not in the same way." He chews on his lip for a moment before trying to explain, "That reality never felt– right, I guess. No other world has felt like that. They feel solid and– real, I guess? But the SMPza had this sort of surreality to it. And the ghosts I saw would sometimes…snap back, to what they were like in my first life. Ghoulus would suddenly get upset around yellow or was afraid of Schlatt, for instance. A few times he called his brothers the wrong name."

His fingers skimming over some of his braids to try and lessen the sense of unease he has whenever he dwells on the SMPza for too long. “I don’t know; it might just have been how I lived. Things felt more concrete after I met your brothers. All that time on my own might have just fucked with my head." 

It wouldn't be the first time his perspective has turned out to be horribly warped. Sometimes he worries that he still jumps at shadows that aren't really there. 

With a sigh, he continues, "I don’t have a good answer, and I can’t have a good answer. That’s the realm of the divine, and I’m not really interested in stepping on any toes by demanding an explanation. I’ll deal with potential revelations when and if they happen.”

He tilts his head to the side a little. He can’t say he isn't glad for the change of topic, but he’s a little confused about why the Observers are asking at all.

Aren't they agents of Time? Even if they might not know everything– or even a lot of things– it feels like this would be something they would already know.

…Maybe he needs to re-examine what he thought he knew about them. After all, Theo had only recently told him that they're called Observers.

"Sort of yes, sort of no," he admits. "Ender chests work no matter where we go, so in that sense, yes. We've tested them on other servers here l, and they're empty– so it’s not just us."

His wings ruffle a little as he continues, "But we go to realities without servers entirely or servers that aren't the Dream SMP fairly regularly."

Perce makes a noise of confusion at him. Day tells him, "Question about if everywhere we go is a variation of the Dream SMP."

"Ah," his second youngest says. "Obviously not. We go to single realm worlds all the time! One of the perks of Dad and Theo traveling is that they can pick out safe worlds to have a little vacation in. My personal favorites are the ones like Cat world; it’s places with that level of tech and comfort that give me games and shows and books–"

"And more ideas for how to be a menace," Day snorts. "That, too," Perce admits, "But you know you love seeing museums with Attie and Theo."

Day can’t help but smile at his memories. “You say that like you don’t like them, too.” He nudges Perce with a wing and teases, “You have extensive records of the differences between all the versions of the sets of your favorite movies.” “As anyone would!” “Mm, no, but that’s because we’re the cool family.”

He’s glad to see Perce damn near preen with pride. It would snow in the nether before he dissed one of his kids’ hobbies.

…Even if he still doesn’t understand redstone. He can manage to follow relatively simple instructions, but beyond that he’s hopeless. Dee has long since given up on it. Frankly, Day is a little glad for it; he knows that nobody enjoyed those lessons.

Except for Theo, who found it hilarious. And Orph, because he kept setting up bets on how long before Dee had to stop because he was giving himself another headache from frustration. And Atlas, because he would use it to double check his own fundamentals–

“Wait a minute,” he says, eyes narrowing. “Your brothers were using me as free entertainment.”

Perce stares at him, his confusion obvious. “...Did you seriously not realize that? No, wait, better question– what made you finally realize it?”

He’s pretty sure his expression gets across how he feels just a little insulted. “Not– I know they do in general, but I meant when Dee used to try and teach me redstone.”

A beat or two passes, and Perce asks, “...Didn’t that stop when he was like, thirteen?” “Yes.” There’s a longer pause, paired with further confusion. “...It took you sixteen years to realize that?” 

Day makes an offended noise. “Hey– there was a lot going on!” “For sixteen years?!” “Some of it, yes! And then I stopped thinking about it, because I had more important things to worry about!”

Perce sighs, and sits up to pat his shoulder. “Yeah, that’s true.” “Thank y–” “You can’t help that sometimes you’re a little dumb. Great at plenty of stuff, but in some ways…ehhh…”

Oh, those are fighting words. He smiles, and can tell his son realizes that he’s signed up for a lot of unexpected cardio from the way his eyes get wide. He warns, “You have until I secure my stitch before I start hunting.”

As expected of the Manhunt king, Perce doesn’t bother arguing– he just scrambles to his feet and starts booking it.

#asked&answered #long post #DayDreamer #CleverPerseus #chronotag #sometimes Perce forgets that his Dad's patience isn't infinite #but also by this point Day is one of the dozen or so people who CAN really challenge him #so like...he's just getting free practice #he has done that on purpose before #because he'll sometimes feel like Day goes easy on him #(which he's kinda right about tbf) #also yes I do have ages in mind for them #but ALSO I just kinda forget them a lot of the time #everyone is mentally late teens to mid twenties except for Lee #me: what do you mean that based on my own math Theo would have to be like 28 right now #that's illegal

[larrythefloridaman]

google :)

love u goog <3

#to explain the dotted squares: Why Are You A Redhead When You Are Bing's Clone. #and the other is like. lets get one thing straight i love goog to death everything in season 2? wouldnt change a damn thing #but i feel like the susan thing was resolved too quickly. and his relationship with mac has gone. underaddressed. #goog was raised by dr. order and i love that he defects right away when shown a first glimmer of something more meaningful #it works well to demonstrate the point that kindness is what we're. as people. most naturally drawn to when circumstance allows for it #but i think how easy it ultimately comes to him even when that's challenged by his personal hurt later kinda. cheapens it a bit? #kindness is easy but its also very hard sometimes when we are faced with the desire or need to protect ourselves from being hurt #and susan letting goog get his catharsis from attacking her even though it wasnt Her her that hurt him #is something i feel should've left him feeling a bit more. conflicted a bit longer. the resolution was sweet but not fully earned imo? #and then theres mac. your little brother almost kills you in cold blood chasing the same meaningless victory you were raised to achieve #and then just. befriends your platonic partner's little sister and becomes part of the family while changing very little of his outlook #just changing who he answers to because he got his ass kicked. and you're just supposed to feel fucking NORMAL about that??????? #idk just think google should get to bite people and be dysfunctional a little more he was raised by doctor order hes not even two years old #he's a shonen protagonist with anxiety but the anxiety doesn't even really interfere meaningfully with anything narratively best i remember #machi has the excuse of being baby to explain why he's so innocent and even he's distinctly self-centered at times #google is a grown man and chooses kindness every day after he got out of there #and that rules. but id like to see him struggle with it just a LIL more #a bit too much of a perfect victim after he gets out for my taste. i had a similar problem with adora in she-ra #lots of not having a frame of reference for a different normal than theirs but always choosing the Right™ thing to do the first time anyway #but thats a mild 'show dont tell'-y writing gripe #its been a good bit since i watched the eps referenced so my feelings might change when i get to them in my rewatch #i simply think meeting a version of your shitty mom that's largely the same but not shitty should make you feel. a lot of different ways #and we didnt really get to see goog wrestle with that after finding out susan wasnt Really her and i think thats kind of a shame #and i dont remember if mac and goog have even shared any screentime after that time Mac Injured Him Terribly with plus ultra

[bookwyrminspiration]

trying to figure out what a sign you don't know means is hell on earth actually I think it's impossible

#shitpost #(started vent/ranting in tags a little? not super serious) #i am. SO annoyed at my homework right now #because it uses a secondary learning site thing. which means. not everything quite matches up #so sometimes signs will come up I just. haven't learned yet. and they assume you know #and it's also. not simple or easy to look up a sign you don't know #like. it's a movement #but to even TRY looking through the reverse dictionary you gotta know the hand shape and orientation and location and direction #and how many hands. and even then you gotta go through the whole list of possible meanings #and it's like. I just want to know this ONE sign so I know more clearly what you're asking me! #if you have someone in your life who knows and you can just ask that's great #I. however. do not have that #so I am here like. I /know/ what you're talking about I /know/ generally what the theme is here #but that ONE sign is messing! me! up! and i can't properly answer the questions! #and this isn't even testing my knowledge of the unit at hand that sign is unrelated -_- #I would score better if I could just!! figure out that other unrelated sign so I knew what answer you want me to give! #aeorigarngar #anyway #i have yet to successfully look up a sign I don't know and figure it out #the only way I've ever been able to figure out a sign I don't know is if I vaguely remember it and can look it up #or the written questions (on their rare appearances) use words that tell me what we're talking about #and then I can look THOSE up #but like. at least how things are now looking up a sign you don't know is virutally impossible #and SO annoying because i have no way to learn it otherwise #i'm not gonna send my instructor an email every single time I don't know a word they both suck at responding to emails helpfully #i say this without malice just with truth #I have yet to receive a single helpful email from either of them. and this is what. year 3? #ANYWAY guess who's annoyed at homework #this is what I get for learning asl online I guess

[tabzanite]

sometimes it genuinely escapes me that i have an identity that no one else has

i am me, yknow

#When you take an original character and slap on a new race or feature of identity to them you're saying you cant make an original characte #character with that kind of value. #like sometimes i forgot not everyone else is bengali American and when i find another one out in the wild its like #woah.... woah hi #and then it really like hits me yknow #cuz i can be as homo as i want. its easy to find others #but to find a bengali person with similar interests to me? i don't have that #aint even gotta be bengali. love my pakistani and indian siblings #and ig seein velma doin the race swappy thing #at first i was like “bro does it really matter all that much man like its a shit show stop getting angry over it” i was #honestly treating it lik rage bait lmaooo i still dont think its fully processed its not #but then i saw another bengali dude talk about it. like actually talk about it #and then it hit me like. i am south asian. this velma is south asian. #but is she actually? is this character I am seeing right now #is this what people see when they learn i am brown? is this what they imagine? is this an actual brown women? #and the answer is no. maybe if it was mindy kaling then yes it would be #now i cant say race swapping makes me angry. i don't care bro #literally its so much more EFFORT to care and why should i it'll all die down when its over #hate watching does nothing but fuel the things you dislike #but ig i rlly like sat down and thought about it. like rlly think about it #this character. even if the original ip WAS south asian. or even if this was an original character #its not perpetuating what its like. no no no not at all #its just putting the label on #making it known and #i dont know man i never expected stuff like this to irk me #i saw the guy i watch say this that stuck with me #smthn like that #and idk man #sorry for the rant but FUUUUUCK its hit me my identity is my identity

[noxtivagus]

I LOVE FINAL FANTASY SO MUCH

#🌙.rambles #coping mechanism!!!! all left i have to do for school this week is just smth easy for math :] then after that it's the weekend n all #i will use fiction ! as an escape ! wooooo . my thoughts are suffocating. n i am so goddamn tired c: #fuck i am so tired of being trapped in my mind n being bind down by my past n everything. just everything #wait i feel like crying why is dynamis playing god i love ff sm.... i am actually crying rn it saved me. it really saved me back then. n no #i am such a goddamn slave to sentiment. to nostalgia. to memories n the past n everything i have lived through. it all means sm to me n #that's one reason why it hurts. i love it all so much but it's so fleeting it hurts.... oh this is bad i am actually crying a lot right now #how do i carry it all? how do i remember it all? i can't die i can't forget i can't deny all these bcs as much as it hurts #it reminds me that i'm alive yk? these memories these words serve as proof that. in the past. once upon a time it really was real #n the concept of reality is something i'm so weak to bcs it feels so lonely in my inner worlds #oh despite all this pain i'm still soft at heart huh. i'm crying so much. #so much thoughts i have. that i don't know how to write. but i try so much to share what i can despite how afraid i often get #when you live a life i have. in these worlds i have. in my head. it's so lonely. it's so so lonely #n. god ffxiv makes me so vulnerable in a way that. fiction is something that's. i really grew up with it being #sometimes even stronger or more present than my own reality #i've always loved the stars too. the moon. celestial beings. everything i've read in those books; whether it be fiction or non-fiction #but always. always something far from my reach. so to have something so real to be a part of #wait i'm crying even more i remember again HAHA fuck wait listening to dynamis rn is making me even more emotional #hermes as a character. i feel like he felt like he didn't belong. he wanted answers. to be understood. to understand. #n we're so similar in that regard. n i'm so weak to those sort of similarities yk? it means sm to me when i've always felt so different #ffxiv here is. it's fiction. so i can freely lose myself here. fly as high as i can without fear of. idk. maybe the #vulnerability n ephemerality of reality...? it's so beautiful. it really is n i wonder if i ever really belong there #sob i realize. there. i've been so accustomed to always reaching out futiley to something i can't have. does not exist. or yeah #reaching out to a past i cannot relive. just to remember again how it was exactly in those moments. or a future i'm uncertain of #or the present. which i'm not ever quite sure about what exactly it is. or what's going on. or myself. #understanding. understanding.... until i understand all i can of this world n finally accept that i too am living n real. i won't give up. #there's so much to life that will forever be left undone. i'll do as much as i can. so i can hold unto my humanity. unto reality. im crying #i did not expect to cry so much tonight;;; but maybe i still underestimate the pain i carry. i deserve too the kindness that i give others #because i'm human too. i'm young. n i know what that means to me. sm thoughts sm words it hurts sm im crying. but fuck that i'm still alive #i'm so confused i'm so lost. on what really is my reality. on who i am. god it's so overwhelming i don't know where to start it hurts .

[eggsnatcheskneecaps]

At this point I don't know if I have vocabulary above average, or if most of the people my age that I have to interact with have low vocabulary

And I still feel like when I write in my first language I sound stiff and unnatural

#mockexams for literature today and afaik only me and a girl got the right answer at an exercise asking for a synonym of a certain word??? #most people didn't even know what the word is... #and i can cut them them some slack for this one because i don't think i remember reading this word in books or hearing it too much in #conversation. just my father uses it so I knew it. and contextually it wasn't necessarily easy to tell what it meant #but BESIDES this word #most of the time people i know don't fucking seem to know any of the words that are chosen for synonym exercises??? I'm #and sometimes they are easy as fuck. or maybe it's just me. #egg.txt #bac posting #i guess

[champagnefountains]

LUCIFER MAGNE - H.H.

CHAPTER II - Prompt: Lucifer continuing to wear his wedding ring despite being in a relationship with you.

Previous chapter: [x] Word Count: 3.4k+ words (unedited). Genre/other tags: Angst with some fluff. Jealousy. Fem pronouns used. Warnings: Swearing. Self-deprecation. Manipulation (on Alastor's part).

It had been nearly over a week since you and Lucifer last talked – it had also been a week since Lucifer was last seen around in the hotel. Angel, being the gossiper he was, relayed everything that had transpired between you two to the others the following day. Seeing the sensitive and sad shell of a person you were left in, everyone remained cautious and had started walking on eggshells around you. Of course, you were quick to pick up on that, as embarrassing as it all was (minus Alastor, who continued on with his usual theatrics and mischief). 

Charlie in particular was the most concerned out of them all, since this was her dad we were talking about. She knew with certainty that he was confining himself in the castle to distract himself from what happened – likely something involving his rubber-ducky obsession – instead of facing the problem head on. It was his pride that sometimes got in the way of his better judgement.

Not only that, but Charlie clearly saw the massive toll it took on you. If you weren’t distracting yourself with work or doing something related to the hotel, you would lock yourself away in your room, only coming out to quickly grab a bite to eat from the kitchen. Charlie even made efforts to strike many conversations with you from time to time, but was either excused or was only given one-worded responses. She knew not to take your dismissive behaviour to heart, but she couldn’t help but fret over you.  

So it came as an absolute surprise when out of nowhere, Charlie received a call from her father. She messily scrambled for her phone on her desk, fumbling and nearly dropping it in the process before violently tapping on the small screen. “H-Hello?! Dad, hey!” She answers a bit too enthusiastically while nervously combing her hair with a free hand. “Uh, hey Charlie!” Lucifer stiffly greets from the other line, “I just…um, thought I’d give a call to, uh, see how everyone’s going at the hotel!” The Princess noted how much hoarser his voice was than usual, but decided not to comment on it aloud. 

“Well, y’know how it is! It’s been busy and lively as always–everyone’s been working really hard and all,” she answers vaguely, nervously chuckling. “Err, yeah! Right. That’s a–that’s a relief to hear. Yep,” he hums. There was a brief, awkward pause that ensued soon after, the both of them not knowing what to say next. The whole exchange was becoming increasingly painful that Charlie resisted the urge to pull her hair. She then clears her throat. “H-How about you, dad? What’ve you been up to? You’ve been gone for a couple or so days,” Charlie finally musters, “are…are you doing alright?” 

“Me? Oh yeah, psh! I just got, erm…a lot of things going on at the moment. It’s not so easy being the big boss of hell after all! Got a lot of important things to do! Plus, I’ve got heaps of paperwork to do for the hotel. You should know how tedious that is,” He says, adding an exaggerated groan. 

The princess furrows her brows. “Oh, that’s…strange. ’Cause I could’ve sworn you left all the papers here…y’know, the ones you told me to revise over?” Charlie replies, side-eyeing the said documents stacked neatly on her desk. A startled yelp escapes his throat. “O-Oh...did I?” He stammers.

Charlie couldn’t help but wince at the evident panic that began to set in as she listened to her father make incomprehensible noises from the other line. It was a poor attempt in reasoning, which ultimately became useless in the end. Lucifer let out a long sigh, caught red-handed. “Oh, who the hell am I kidding? You guys probably already know what happened–which by the way, Charlie, you shouldn’t be lying to me about!” He pointedly remarks. 

“I-I’m sorry, dad! It’s just…I’m really worried about you,” she reasons, before shortly adding, “...The both of you.” 

There was a small pause. “...How is she, by the way?” He then asks quietly. Charlie nervously tugs her bottom lip with her fangs. “Well, she’s keeping herself busy. Constantly, as a matter of fact. And I know she’s trying hard to convince us all that she’s holding up okay, but…she doesn’t look too good, dad. She seems really upset.”

A shaky exhale sounded from his end. “I…I really am hopeless, aren’t I?” He mumbles defeatedly. Even though she couldn’t see him, she could picture him burying his face in his hands. The image caused Charlie’s eyes to soften. “Dad, no. It’s not too late. You still have a chance to make things right,” Charlie gently encourages through the speaker, “you just need to talk to each other–”

Suddenly, from the corner of her eye, a bright, blazing portal manifests from thin air – from it, emerges Lucifer himself who appeared extremely dishevelled, effectively catching Charlie off guard. 

“But, hun, y-you don’t understand! I messed up big time!” He exclaims, tugging on his unkempt hair as he aimlessly paced around her office. “I-I mean, look at me! I’m a fucking mess and a coward! Why would she ever think to take me back after what I did!?” He chuckles humourlessly, shaking his head in disbelief, “I-It’s like no matter how many times I try to redeem and convince myself that everything’s finally going right in my life, I just continue to fuck myself over and over again. And it’s just– ugh! It’s pathetic! I’m fucking pathetic!” 

Charlie’s chest tightened considerably as she watched her father self-destruct before her. Strands of his golden hair were sticking out here and there, his dress-shirt tousled, and his eyes were glossed over and red, from both a lack of sleep and crying. He looked utterly devastated. Chucking her phone away, she immediately sped towards and enveloped Lucifer in her arms, who immediately broke down into heavy sobs. Seeing him like this brought tears to her own eyes, but she firmly told herself to be the stronger person in this situation, for his sake. 

“Hey, hey. Dad, listen to me, okay? Everyone deserves a second chance. You of all people should know–you were the one who taught me that, remember?” Charlie rubbed his back soothingly, trying to ease the jumpiness of his shoulders. “And that also applies to you. I…I know you’ve been through a lot, especially with mum…” She couldn’t help the way her frown deepened as she spoke, “...and I miss her too. I miss her a lot. But…I think it’s finally time for you to move on. It’s been years, dad. You deserve to be happy and you’re allowed to be in love again.” 

“[Name]’s an amazing person, and there’s no doubt about that. She’s proved that more than many times already. I’m certain that once things ease over and you guys finally talk things through, everything will turn out okay; she’s very understanding and kind like that. You’ll both be okay.” Charlie gently pulls Lucifer away and with the sleeve of her blazer, she wipes his damp, reddened cheeks. “I know for a fact that she loves and cares about you deeply – we can all see it as clear as day. You…you love her too, don’t you, dad?” 

For a brief moment’s contemplation, Lucifer suddenly recalled the times you spent together, from your initial meeting to now. He had always thought you were a strong and independent soul, with the way you carried yourself. You just had something about you that naturally drew in those around you, including himself. When Lucifer got to know you in a deeper level, he was enthralled by how kind and understanding you were – you were always there to listen to his many tales and endless nonsense; you would always seem genuinely interested in his rubber-duck-esque inventions, offering some input and critiquing his creations; and you would always be so, so supportive of all his plans and ideas, no matter how extraordinary they all seemed.

If he hadn't known any better, Lucifer would've thought you were an actual angel. You were the saviour that wore off the darkness in troubling times, and the one who pulled him out of the void that Lilith had left him in. That and more, as you continuously gave him a real reason to remain hopeful. You were proof personified, that he was able to open his heart once more, and to love again.

“I-I do, I really do,” Lucifer affirms in a heartbeat. Charlie smiles warmly, relieved by his answer, “then that’s all you need to say.” At that moment, Lucifer's chest swelled in overwhelming pride for his daughter, knowing that despite not being as present in her life until recently, she grew up to be the good and strong-willed person he had hoped for.

“O-Oh, jeez. Since when did you grow up so big? I should be the one comforting you,” He tearfully jokes, sniffling whilst returning her smile, “but thank you, Charlie. Really. I’m…I-I really am grateful to call you my daughter.” The two royalties then shared a heart-felt moment and a bone-crushing hug, with the King's heart being filled with a new-found determination. Because, just as he always says: The show must go on. 

Earlier on:

On the other side of the building, you were drowning yourself in your own self-despair as you overlooked the balcony by the front entrance of the hotel. Your eyes lazily scanned the new hotel patrons below, who were engaging in some trust exercises led by Vaggie, who came in to cover you just moments ago. Every once in a while, you couldn’t help but glance at your phone, silently hoping to receive some sort of notification from Lucifer, or even an inkling of his whereabouts. But you received nothing, which only fuelled your growing anxiety.

You felt awful leaving the way you did that night, especially after dumping so much onto Lucifer. You felt like you were being completely selfish, and had cornered him into making a big decision. And because of that, your relationship was on the line. You let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing angrily at your face.

Little did you know however, that you had some company lurking nearby, watching you in silent amusement. 

“Now, don’t you look as miserable as ever?” Alastor mockingly chimes in, stepping out from the shadows to make his presence known and joins you by the balcony. You roll your eyes at the deer-demon before turning your head the other direction. “Yeah, and what about it?” You scoff, leaning in to rest your arms against the rails, “Can’t you go bother someone else, Alastor? I’m certainly not in the mood right now.”  

“Why, I wouldn’t be a good hotelier if I left a dear co-worker of mine so down in the slumps!” To your dismay, Alastor reappears in front of you, obstructing your field of view, "And might I add, it's not healthy for you to be all cooped up in your room all the time – stay there any longer, and it can do silly, little things to your head!" He emphasises his point as he spins a finger in a circular motion by his temple. You shot him an irritated look, slowly growing fed up by his prodding. 

"Listen, I don't need you telling me what I should and shouldn't do. I’m more than capable of deciding that on my own,” you growl, straightening up to cross your arms firmly against your chest. “Hm...no, I don’t think so!” Alastor hums, shaking his head disapprovingly, “The unfortunate affair that took place in your courtship with the King has left you in such a vulnerable, and problematic state. And I’m sure you’ve taken note of how everyone’s been acting around you – constantly walking on their tiptoes in fear of setting you off on a hissy-fit. You’ve caused them to worry a lot about you, dear. Poor ol’ Charlie, especially.” 

You open your mouth to retort back, but nothing came out. A strong pang of guilt struck you as his words began to sink in. Seeing this, Alastor’s grin widened a faction as he stepped forward and levelled himself with you, now facing you eye-to-eye. “And as the executive producer of this fine establishment, might I critique that your behaviour is affecting our team’s morale and performance…and we mustn’t have that now, should we? Especially not since we’ve all been more preoccupied recently with our guests!” He…had a fair point, as much as you didn’t want to admit it.

“I…I’m sorry. I didn’t…know…” Your voice began to trail off, shoulders slumping in realisation of how selfish and contemptuous you’ve been acting this whole week. You recalled the fretful expressions of your friends and your dismissive attitude towards them. “I-I didn’t mean to make everyone worry…” you quietly say. Alastor’s words only made you feel immensely worse about the whole situation, leaving you sniffling on the spot. 

“Now, now. As long as you realise your mistakes, then you shall be forgiven,” he coos, softly patting the tuft of your head. At that, you couldn’t help but send a doubtful glance his way. “W-wait a minute…why do you care all of a sudden? What exactly are you playing at?” You suspiciously question as you rub at your eyes. 

“Oh, how you wound me, dear! Why must you always question any act of kindness I display? Is it really that hard to believe?” He adverts, evidently feigning hurt. You deadpan. “Yes, it is,” you reply almost instantly. Alastor chortles at your bluntness, “Haha! You’re quite a work of art, aren't you, dear? Now, let’s go out for a walk, shall we?” 

Before you could’ve processed what he had said, Alastor had already spun you around, pulling you with him as you both headed down a flight of stairs. “Wha–Alastor, where are we–where the heck are you taking me?” You asked, trying to keep up with his long strides so as to not trip down the stairs. “Hm? Did I not already specify? It looks like your brooding has impacted your hearing, dear. That’s a shame,” he slyly comments, now dragging you towards the entrance, “We’re both going for a walk around town, it’ll help clear that cloudy head of yours!” 

“Hold on-Stop! Just what makes you think I’d agree to go out with you?” You shoot back, retracting your arm from his hold and stopping metres behind him. Alastor sharply turns around and pulls out a wrinkled, yellow piece of paper out of thin air. Your eyes dart towards the sheet, seeing a familiar hand-writing across the page. 

“Why, I just knew you were going to question me – you're so predictable. But might I add, we’re not going out without purpose! No, no! Our lovely Charlie has composed a list and requested we fetch a couple items in town!” Stepping forward, you swiftly snatched the paper from his clawed hand and briefly scanned the list, noting that it largely consisted of decorations and party items. “She wanted to organise a heart-warming celebration for the wayward souls here who have accomplished some milestones on their journey to redemption! An anniversary ceremony of sorts, if you will,” Alastor explains, lightly patting the non-existing dust off of his suit.

“But couldn’t you just…I don’t know, teleport the things here?” You blatantly ask, raising a brow at him. You knew he was more than capable of doing such minuscule tasks within a span of seconds. “And waste such a beautiful day outside? Now, why would I even consider doing that?” Alastor states matter-of-factly, “And like I said, the short trip will help clear your troubled mind! Consider it a gesture of compassion from yours truly.” 

There was clearly something off about all this but you couldn’t see any reason for an ulterior motive. It was just…simply a manager looking out for the well-being of his work-colleagues, as uncharacteristic and off-putting as it sounded out loud. Already exhausted, you couldn’t bring it in yourself to question his actions any further.

“You’re really not going to take ‘no’ for an answer, are you?” You ask. Seeing the way Alastor’s grin widened had you sighing in defeat. “Shall we then?” Alastor questions, offering an arm out to you. Rolling your eyes, you loop one of your arms through and follow him out the hotel. ‘A small walk wouldn’t hurt…’ you think to yourself as the doors shut behind you. 

Currently:

Lucifer tiredly dragged himself to his designated room in the hotel, to rest for a while and take a much needed bath as per Charlie’s advice. He gave himself a lengthy pep-talk in front of the mirror as he brushed his teeth, deciding to approach you tonight to finally talk and clear things out. Yes, he was absolutely terrified about the possibility of things going south during the confrontation, but he didn’t think he could handle another second being without you. And he needed to make that loud and clear. 

After putting on an outfit and neatly slicking his hair back, Lucifer looked at his reflection once more in the bedside mirror, inspecting himself up and down to flatten any remaining creases of his clothing. But it wasn't until his gaze landed on his left hand that he tensed up. Peering down, he brought his hand into view to inspect the very wedding band that caused it all. With a shaky sigh, Lucifer slowly pulled the ring off of his finger. He took a moment to examine it, eyes filled with sentiment before kneeling down to open his bedside drawer, where its designated ring-box sat. The moment he encased the ring in its box and locked it away in his drawer, it felt like a breath of fresh air. To his own surprise, Lucifer found himself tearfully laughing – he felt...genuinely happy. Proud, even. It was at this very moment that he felt like he was finally ready to move forward.

After patting the stray tears away from his face, Lucifer slowly made his way down to the front lobby. There, Charlie and Vaggie were talking amongst themselves by the lounge area, whilst Angel and Cherri chuckled away by the bar, with Husk tending to their beverages. The King didn’t give an inkling of care as to where Alastor had gone, and he was certain that Nifty was hiding somewhere in the small crevices of the hotel, cleaning away. All in all, there was no sight of you whatsoever, visibly disappointing him. 

Seeing his approaching form, Charlie waved his father over towards them. “Hey, dad. Are you feeling a bit better now?” She asks with a comforting smile. “Yeah, totally. Thanks, dear,” he says, patting her shoulder affectionately before turning his attention towards her partner. “Hey! How’s it going, Maggie? I’ve heard you’ve been working real hard lately, huh? Good on yah!” He commends, playfully nudging the said demon. “Oh, um…it’s–it’s Vaggie, sir. And uh, thanks,” she nervously chuckles, rubbing her arm. “Mhm, yeah…that’s–that’s great,” Lucifer distractedly hums, all the while scanning around the room. Noticing this, Vaggie shared a worried look with Charlie. 

“Erm, dad, she’s not here at the moment if that’s what you’re wondering,” Charlie starts, alerting her father. “Oh? Well, is she up in one of the guest rooms?” Lucifer asked, gesturing upstairs with a thumb. To his confusion, Charlie appeared somewhat nervous, her hands fidgeting with her suit. “Uh, no, she’s actually not in the hotel at the moment,” Vaggie steps in, “she’s been out doing a couple of errands for us.” Lucifer raised a brow at the slight edginess in her tone, eyes darting back and forth between the two girls. “...Um, alright. What the heck is going on right now?" He asks, pointing an accusatory finger at them both, "You guys are acting sketchy as fuck. Are you...are you guys hiding something from me?" He narrows his eyes. Charlie sucks in a breath, brows pinching together, “Well...dad, t-the thing is–” 

“She’s out with Smiles right now!” Angel suddenly intervened, calling out from the other side of the room, and causing Charlie to cower and duck behind Vaggie. Lucifer felt his shoulders grow rigid. “She’s…what now?” He dangerously asks, glaring at the arachnid. Before Lucifer trudged towards the direction of the bar, the front doors of the hotel abruptly flew open. He felt the vein in his neck nearly burst at the sound of your laughter interlacing itself with that god-awful, irritating radio feedback. What a wild coincidence.

As Lucifer turned around, his eyes nearly flew out of his head as he saw how close you were with Alastor, arms basically locked together. The radio-demon was quick to meet eyes with the King, and out of spite, Alastor flashed him the biggest shit-eating grin he's ever seen.

“Oh, fuck no!”

Chapter III - Finale [x]

Thank you for reading!

#lucifer magne x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar