#that would make things too easy

[intergalacticaquarium]

Despicable headcanons for eddie munson

Terrible and (sfw) filthy headcanons for eddie munson that make him my dream man

None of this is ironic

- wears all those layers bc he gets cold really really easily and every time he starts to shiver and his teeth start to chatter at like 50 degrees he is completely humiliated

-only remembers to brush his hair about once a week. Usually he just kinda pats it down until it's the right shape. The mats add volume

-DEFINITELY cuts his own bangs

-either got arrested when he was like 17 and booked it into the forest and hopper was like whatever dude I'm busy and he broke the handcuffs in a very stupid and dangerous way

-OR he just found em in the woods bc as somebody that lives near a lot of woods sometimes you find weird shit in there. One time I found super old car with bullet holes in it.

-speaking of yknow sometimes ur in public and you'll see a piece of clothing or a hair tie or a water bottle that somebody obviously left behind and you know not to touch it bc gross? Eddie doesn't know not to touch it. He touches it and picks it up and takes it home and fucking might wash it and definitely wears it

-found his vest on the side of the road in a puddle and took it home like a Charlie brown Christmas tree

-gets no bitches sorry girlies. Extremely surprised to get one bitch but she's a slug woman too so it's tru love. First and foremost what he wants in a partner is for them to be the type to also eat dry cereal by the fistful

- if he scrolled thru the Eddie x reader tag and read the descriptions he would be terrified and would need to look up a lot of terms and would need to go lie down for a second after all that information

-calling Eddie on a bluff is extremely easy and extremely satisying

-full of love

-cries really easily but sometimes that's bc his eyes are huge and it's windy and he's been sitting in the dark for a long time

-has waaaaay too lax a policy on what's OK to eat after you drop it on the floor

-has really bad undiagnosed untreated adhd. Cannot focus unless he's invested, will say the first thing that comes into his brain and regret it instantly and its either something wildly off topic or a response to something you said 3 minutes ago

-sometimes absentmindedly chews on his hair and it gets hard on the ends. To his credit he knows that this is gross

-hey why am I getting turned on writing this thats weird right

-you'd expect him to have like a million stupid fancy bongs that he won't shut up about but actually he has like 4 and only uses one and it's the fucking grodiest yellow tinted black bongwater that hasn't been changed in ages resin inside that looks like fuckin bushes bong you have ever seen and will not use it. One time you steal it and clean it out with an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol. It's still kinda gross when ur done and he genuinely would silently hold it against you for years

-uses his jeans as a napkin

-can't remember the last time he washed his jeans. Says you're not supposed to wash them but put them in the freezer. He does not put them in the freezer either

-smells like cigarettes. This one isn't sexy its just gross if somebody smokes weed and cigarettes they smell like cigarettes if somebody wears cologne and smoke a certain number of cigarettes that is all they smell like and it's kind of overwhelming until you literally air out and febreeze his whole fucking trailer and wardrobe to put a dent in it

-he got those holes in his jeans by falling over onto concrete really hard while trying to carry like 20 things at once inside

-very strangely patchy chest hair

-insomnia and watches a lot of infomercials because of it

-sometimes tastes things that aren't food if he's curious and nobody's around. One time he did lick a frog and it tasted weird and it was bad but he will always know what it tasted like so who's to say if it was a success or not

-laughs at horror movies but gets scared and jumpy for the rest of the night

-eats like an animal or Brad pitt in an oceans movie. If he can eat it with his hands by the fistful he will.

-I wonder if anybody can get which of these are autobiographical and how badly I'm giving myself away rn

-sometimes says and does things he saw his metal musician idols doing without knowing what they meant and being confused when confronted

-has AT LEAST one very badly scarred stick n poke disaster

-there are a lot of these and I honestly could go on probably indefinitely so I'm gonna stop now but every time I read a fic where he's too sexy and fuckable I'm gonna add 2 more to balance it out.

-one last one the wallet chain isn't for fashion it's for fashion AND bc he loses his wallet a lot

#stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson headcanons #stranger things headcanons #its 1 am i woke up at 530 and i feel unhinged rn #and weirdly motivated to download tinder again #unfortunately my inexplicable attraction to soaking wet and slightly pitful men does not extend to real life #that would make things too easy #unless they do it in a very specific way and im back in #and that way is to have greasy long hair and wear a cool jacket OOPS

[inkskinned]

as we enter the start of a semester and the dreaded Hour of Making Friends us upon us... if ur ever at a loss for what to say in one of those weird social situations where you only vaguely-know people, one of my favorite questions to ask is "what is your favorite food crime." a food crime is like the food combination that you love that other people find revolting. press them to take it further than pineapple on pizza, that's rote. food crimes is a good topic that has many benefits as it turns out all people are degenerates and also it will give you some cool ideas to try out later in the privacy of your own degenerate kitchen

the other good thing to ask is "okay but has anyone here ever been someplace haunted" bc it turns out if you ask most people directly they don't believe in ghosts, but many people are like "oh yeah i lived in a haunted house. ghosts aren't real tho"

#my food crime is that i regularly make a “pasta and tuna” situation that has somehow gotten even more evil and degenerate over time. #it is a ''white wine reduction'' (it's just white wine and garlic powder & seasoning) #and tuna from a can. #and plain pasta. #if i have the spoons i will actually chop garlic for it but this tends to be my comfort food for a REALLY bad day #bc its super easy to make: #boil pasta. drain. put into bowl for later. into same pot u used for pasta. #put tuna (with oil/water from can). let fry a little for like 2-3 min. put in whatever amount of wine. season to taste. #the tuna will get a little crisp on it which is nice. important side note: #this began as a Bolognese sauce. #and one day i had to sub for tuna. i know. not ideal. i cried about it too. #somehow over time it is now its own little evil thing. i would never make someone else eat it. it is beautiful. #but yeah i don't even stir the pasta in afterwards i just slap pasta into serving bowl #slap this ''''''sauce'''''''' on top #molto bene #(i really can cook fairly well btw. this is a food crime. not a suggestion of skill or ability) #(i LOVE baking but when i cook for myself. the autism is obvious. bc i just don't understand the point of most of the steps) #(.... i can just eat the deli meat out of the bag. it is protein. i don't even have to like it. i just have to eat enough calories.) #(also i used to cook MUCH more before this apartment which is so small that i can stretch my arms out and overreach the counter length.) #(.... i'm 5.2. so.)

[szfiction]

This parallel makes me insane actually (and there is something incredibly Lawlu about it to me)

#One Piece #Monkey D. Luffy #Sanji #Trafalgar Law #Lawlu #something about Luffy saying almost the exact same thing that Corazon said to Law makes me so emotional actually #It's easy to think Corazon and Luffy would get along. they are both kindhearted goofy sweethearts #but it's more than JUST that #it's that deeper thing where they understand and carry the pain of the people they hold dear #And it's the fact that overhearing Corazon say this is pretty much what changed Law's life #To know that he is cared for and seen and someone wants the best for him #And then Law loses him #And then years later he aligns himself with Monkey D Luffy #Someone who has these echoes of Corazon in him #The echoes of the person he held so close to his heart #Like. It's no wonder Law is so compelled and mystified by Luffy in equal measure #I think if Law heard Luffy say this to Sanji he'd go insane #cause I know he's remember everything Cora said that night exactly #and it might tell him why he sought out and believed in Luffy against all odds and logic #(why he cares for him so much too. why Luffy's stubborn insistence on loving him without condition is so familiar) #I don't even know if these tags are making any sense but IM FEELING THINGS OK #donquixote rosinante #Corazon

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[spielzeugkaiser]

I just had the image of Jaskier coming back from a long day of work, and maybe just collapsing in bed from exhaustion, only to wake up and see lil Roachie tucked in with him and lil Milek tucking blankets around him because ‘papa always does it for him! He can take care of papa too!’ I love your art SO much!!! It gives me all the feeelssssss🥹👏🏼❤️❤️❤️

[MASTERPOST]

Excuse me while I cry, this was just too cute to not draw, thank you for sharing that adorable image with me!

#geraskier lovechild #jaskier #the witcher #witcher #artists on tumblr #listen I love to whump the bard and he doesn't have it easy - but Jaskier is happy #of course there are many things he would like to change - talk to Geralt #never hurt his hands #make better choices #not turn his back to Geralt on the mountain but keep his place and FIGHT because it's for Milek too- #but he would do it all over again - as long as he gets to have him #no question about it #(also I'm not sitting here staring into the distance and thinking about how different Mileks and Geralts upbringing are #Milek is so loved) #(I think if Geralt got to see this he would evaporate - he'd be full of love! but his nights would be full of nightmares) #milek can be glad he met Geralt of 'abandonment issues' Rivia later this man wants to RUN when he loves

[slimey-wallz]

Gr💕vy

I just found out that there's a such thing as a swedish fish mojito, like what?? 😭💕

Actually it's really cute, especially the little Nerds

It's like a kids adult beverage

IM ADORING IT!!! YES!!

Heres the AMAZING creator of the AU!

💗💕@jazzzzzzhands 💕💗

#welcome home fanart #welcome home #wally darling fanart #wally darling #wally darling au #groovy wally #fanart #I'm also not sure why I used a wine glass?? #I don't know 😭 #Whatever 🎉 #Groooooovy!!! I missed drawing you :-: #I love him #The background took a while #But it was worth it #ALSO SCRIBBLE SHADING IS SO FUN #it's so easy too!!! #You just gradually make less scribbles as you go up #Or whichever way the shading is pointing to #I recommend trying!!! #I'm also not sure if Groovy would drink alcohol- #I should really ask these things #I should also REALLY DRAW FOUR LEGGED CHUBBY FISH MORE #RAHHH #ALSO HIGHLY AWARE THAT HES ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAVE THREE FINGERS #I just put four because it looks nicer 🥲

[civilization-illstayrighthere]

Hey so I’ve mentioned this a lot of times on my main blog, but I wanted to put this out over here since it is Hallow’s Eve. I always give out little tchotchkes on Halloween along with candy. This year, I’ve completely switched over to 100% doohickeys and doodads— think mechanical pencils, shaped erasers, little notebooks, squishes, vampire teeth and spiders rings and all. It started years ago in college when I signed up for a dorm Halloween event where kids from an area that was too dangerous to really trick or treat through got bussed in to trick or treat at our dorm. I bought some candy and dollar store Halloween themed stuff with what i had. And you know what the kids went ape shit over?

Motherfucking. Mechanical. PENCILS!!

These kids could not get enough of them. They literally went “PENCILS??!” I had never seen kids get so hyped up for pencils lmao. They were the first things to go. Candy is fleeting; the little pencils you can bring to school to flex are eternal, until you inevitably lose one of the refill parts and then they aren’t but listen, in that one moment they are infinite. And its nice thinking that maybe some kids who don’t always have access to school supplies not only get them, but get them in fun shapes and designs.

Anyway. I recommend people to give out fun stuff like this not just because kids seem to genuinely enjoy them, but also because there’s this thing called the Teal Pumpkin Project here in America. You can put out a teal pumpkin to show that you are giving away non-candy items and sign your address up so parents of children with allergies know that there are houses their kids can safely and happily trick or treat at! It’s a win-win! Plus, if you accidentally bought too much, it’s not like candy— just pack it away, pencils and fidget spinners will be good next year, too! :)

#its such an easy and fun thing to do #and it helps make Halloween accessible for some kids who might otherwise not be able to participate #i always think about stuff like that #my step-grandparents had a ramp built at their house for them #but one great unintended side effect is that they always got a lot of children in wheelchairs to their house on Halloween #who were so so excited they could go up to the door and ring the bell for once :’) #so like i always try to think of ways to maybe include people who might have trouble otherwise when i can! #and this is such a little but easy to do change #i like to source my stuff from the dollar store targets dollar area and amazon #i bet party supply stores (think party favor bag stuff) would work great too #so. if you have time tomorrow maybe run on over to the dollar store during your lunch hour #grab some random little things. kids will go crazy. maybe you’ll brighten someone’s day

[crocswithoutsocks]

I found out there was an anteater LPS so obviously the only logical thing to do was go and buy one immediately and make it into Flint. My phone hates me so pictures are bad but look!!!!! That's a little guy!!!!!

#toontown corporate clash #ttcc #firestarter #lps custom #I thought this would be easy #it would have been easy if not for my “brilliant” idea to remove the head to make it easier to paint #i could not for the life of me get that thing back on #tried boiling water to soften the plastic which a) didn't work and b) MESSED UP ALL OF MY PAINT #so I had to do basically the ENTIRE head over again #poor guy had to go through emergency surgery like three times #eventually got the head back on tho! even if I had to cut it open in like three different places to do it... #the worst of its under his hat dont worry about it #planning on making Graham too at some point #just trying to figure out what animal i should make him #theres no cheetah but there is a jaguar and that's both pretty cheetah adjacent and easily purchasable by me #otherwise a bunny maybe? I think I like cheetah better but we'll have to see

[deadshadowcreature]

I think Otta would be very likely to hit on Packpatty instead of Mayjack

#I now people like butches and toxic lesbians but listen #since Mayjack takes after Chilchuck the most I'm sure she got his high sense of judgement and would very much turn her down immediately #meanwhile Packpatty has a tendency to take life a bit too lightly so it's easy for Otta to get her chance #also because Otta is an elf who possibly has a high position and despite being a prisoner her sentence got shortened post canon #I thought the ship can be a thing because Packpatty probably would be willing to take a shot knowing there's a chance Otta would ditch her #talk #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #meijack #mayjack #packpatty #puckpatti #otta #we all know how their relationship would end #But anyone wanna bet how long will it last? #it's just me thinking about background characters like Marcille being delusional about people's love life #this is definitely something that makes not only Chilchuck but Mayjack and Flertom go crazy #and it's gonna be comedy worth

[why-the-heck-not]

honestly happily surprised; I ran for 20mins straight ! I think that’s the longest continous stretch I’ve ran as an adult ever !! Like usually my warm up is 10mins straight so that was a double today!

#I think I could’ve gone longer but it’s leg day so didn’t wanna push it too far bc then the rest of the workout would suck #it was on the treadmill tho yeah so obv a lot easier than running outside #but still was nice #maybe being a little scared for ur safety truly is the best preworkout lmao #(I walked to the gym at around 4am & some (drunk) dude ahead of me kept stopping & turning to look at me and wait but I switched #to the other side of the street and I don’t think he noticed bc on the next time he turned he kept looking around like confused (dude was #out of it) so it was all good just a little bit like do I turn around or keep going situation) #(bc he might’ve just been on other things & paranoid tbh) #anyways not a big deal the point was that I got some adrenaline and boii did that make the running so easy #maybe I should always listen to some idk horror things before/while running #maybe that ’’zombies run’’ app was onto something #march 2024 #2024

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona #its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around #one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them #making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth #i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since #memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an #association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont #fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell #on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one #dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong #despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them #interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing #i struggle find a balance between those two things #actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of #her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard #or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it?? #maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard #although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh #yapping #oc talk #oc

[steviesbicrisis]

I genuinely think Steve would have an Only Fans, Robin would convince him to sell pictures of his feet.

At first it’s just pictures of Steve’s feet, some even out of focus, but then someone comments about them not being sexy enough and Robin takes offense to it. She’s the one taking the pictures and managing the profile (she called it “The King’s feet” and she’s proud of it) and she won’t accept any criticism.

After that she start to take care of the set, checking the lights, using Steve’s phone which has a better camera. And if it could have been considered “normal” at some point, she gets over that level pretty quickly. She’s invested in making costumes, then characters and finally overly complicated dramatic scenes.

Steve is desperate for a break but every time he tries to talk Robin out of it, somehow he ends up holding one of his feet up as she’s drawing a smiley face on his toes.

Steve, to no one’s surprise, has very few subscribers, mostly people who either paid the subscription by mistake or are weirdly into whatever Robin is making.

But the only one who has been subscribed for months, the same one who had critiqued Steve’s feet for not being sexy enough, is a certain E_thebanished, and he never misses any of Robin’s series of weird re-enactments for foot fetishists.

#can I take anything seriously? #I don’t think so #I don’t even know why I am posting this #I just think it would be funny #Robin trying to get easy money thanks to foot fetishism and accidentally getting too invested #Steve just doing anything for Robin #Eddie making an OF account to comment ‘not sexy enough’ on any posts and getting too invested in ‘the king’s feet’ by mistake #please ignore me #or don’t if I made you laugh leak #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve and eddie #stranger things #steve x eddie #platonic stobin #robin buckley

[queen0fm0nsterz]

Ended up pirating all of Hazbin for the sake of my younger days (used to be a fan when I was around 14/15, before all the stuff with Viv came out) and I am so surprised by how I felt... nothing for the most part. Like a lot of the show's storylines feel like they was crammed in there with no real pacing. A lot of this should have been season 2 territory, which is a sentiment I've seen echoed around, but also... it feels as if the show is trying to be episodic while also having a long narrative thread, which just doesn't work with just 8 episodes. Especially not when paced like this. So I kinda ended up feeling nothing for the most part. All the events got a "Oh, great, so what?" reaction out of me because there was little to no buildup to most of them.

Sir Pentious was always a fave of mine so I was glad to see they kept him around and, though I think we should have had more episodes with him as a villain, I think how he ended up was fitting for what little of an arc he had. I am livid about what they did to Cherri and Mimzy.

I fucking loved Mimzy, I have no idea why they sent her away -- having someone like her at the Hotel would have been a blast considering how the others are already on the road to redemption. She would have balanced it out by being a regular sinner, someone who doesn't care about redemption and won't probably ever care unless it's in her best interests to. Plus her friendship with Alastor was quite cute, they bounce off of each other very well imo. Plus I could see her have a bit of a conflict with both Charlie and Vaggie because of her ways of acting. I'm so sorry they took that from you girlboss.

And Cherri... dear lord where WAS she? She should have been a lot more present. I used to like her relationship with Angel and I even think Cherrisnake is cute conceptually, but both these relationship had... little to no room to breathe imo.

#hazbin hotel critical #not putting this in the main tag #i wouldnt call myself a fan but i guess i can mourn what could have been #not considering viv and her controversities for a second... the pilot had a very nice feeling to it #that the series was not able to replicate #i think my liking of mimzy should come as a surprise to NO ONE LMAOOOO #i love evil selfish women im sorry ... sue me #we need to save mimzy sir pen and cherribomb from hazbin everyone else can rot #ok in all fairness i will give the show credit for ONE thing #i kind of enjoyed adam and lute as antagonists. adam is insufferable which is awesome #it makes it easy to hate him as a villain. and lute being his right hand woman makes sense #they read like a christian couple (term used loosely) where the man is a misogynistic asshole and the woman just kinda endorses it #which is perfect if you wanna make a critique of heaven and the humans who go in it because they repented or whatever #i always love dumbass villains who are easy to hate (mamoon from helluva being another example of a villain i enjoy) #thats it. thats all i have in terms of compliments #would love to adress the Angel Dust controversy because as a victim of SA (and CSA) myself I think there is nuance to be found in -- #-- having a discussion about how we see survivors and how we portray the abuse they endure #i was an unconventional victim too. i kind of see a glimpse of me in Angel which is why I was LIVID when I got the full picture of the -- #-- situation. but still

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

#q&a. #birdsong. #wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3 #i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac- #in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai #after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really. #i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track. #and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy? #it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where #it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that. #how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love. #i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together. #i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too. #the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe. #so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc. #i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.

[vse-kar-vem]

together in every universe. or something

#bojan cvjetićanin #kris guštin #joker out #im neglecting schoolwork to draw this but that seems like the norm at this point #hoping if i get it all out of my system now i'll be normal during exam szn (in like. a week 😨) #<<sorry if i keep talking about school btw (semi age reveal ahead) gcses are fucking killing me uuaghhgshhahhhaj #i actually quite like this since i started drawing on a whim this afternoon and its only ten now #i dont even mind the lineart (DONT LOOK AT BOJANS HAND OR ILL JUMP OUT A WINDOW) #only a one storey one tho 💗💗💗 can't die without seeing bokris irl <<pipe dream as im too embarrassed to go to a concert #NO because bumping into jo in london would be my worst fucking nightmare 😭😭😭 #what do i even fucking say 'hey are you jan from jo--' NO id combust on the spot #and what if im bothering them uknow 😭😭 idk but i used to live in an asian city where none of my idols from the west would ever visit #(except safiya love you safiya) so keeping the real life person and fictiinalized versions apart in my brain and/or at arms length was easy #but now that i live in the uk and the chances of seeing them irl are non-zero? and presented with the chance to #actively seek them out and you know go to a concert #im just too scared and awkward to do it #maybe i'll bully my friend into going with me #i feel safer revealing age more in the fucking depths of these tags but another thing that makes me feel awkward about going is age #like ik lots of jo fans are younger than me and there's no shame at all in bringing your parents i just feel so embarrassed?? to??? #like i'd rather go with my friends #but that would require at least us riding the train alone and i am a small east asian girl who never looks up from the floor ever #sooooo #not happening any time soon #maybe next yr?? but probably not #unless i suddenly get a lot more independant and cool #i doubt anyone's read this much of my tags but if you have 😭😭 hope you like the art i guess #at the time of me writing i want to draw more but i'll see #(you will know since it will have been posted) #a tag previously used to say 'queueing to post at school' this is false as i am now in fact nauseous at home #my art

[marscats37]

#i feel like the 'multiple of these' option is too easy but i had to include it #only because you can't make me choose between my scene and bratz those shaped my childhood #dolls #barbie #also as stated i'm sorry if i missed a really popular one i'm kind of old ?? like even monster high got popular after i grew out of dolls #which tbh if they were a thing when i was a kid i would have loved them #liv dolls may seem a little random but my little sister loved them so i put them their in her honor <3