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#that's going to be one hell of a scar
hummingbird-of-light · 10 months
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June of Doom Day 20
20. "That’s going to be one hell of a scar.”
| Cage | Pliers | Scrape |
TW: major character injury, major character death, experimentation, violence
A/N: Alternate Universe - Mirrorverse-Fusion
~
The tingling of the beam filled Khan's entire body. He had planned exactly where to appear and as he surveyed his surroundings, a grin crept onto his face.
He had made it! Despite the unusual ion storm, he had managed to beam himself out of the shuttle and onto the Enterprise.
Now he only had to turn off the life support systems and finally he would get his revenge.
As quietly and inconspicuously as possible, the augment crept through the engine room. He had memorized the blueprints of the ship, knew exactly where he had to go.
How long had he dreamed of this moment? How long had he wished to see Kirk, Spock and the rest of the crew die miserably?
Finally he had managed to escape and pursue his goal.
Just one more turn and he would reach his destination. Just one more turn and he would destroy them all. Only one more turn and -
"Freeze!"
A phaser. It was pointed directly at the back of his head. Khan slowly raised his hands, trying not to let his grin get too wide.
He had recognized the voice immediately.
Montgomery Scott.
The chief engineer of the Enterprise had found him and now wanted to arrest the intruder.
It could hardly have been a weaker member of the crew. That the Scotsman even dared to stop him.
"Mr. Scott. What a pleasure to see you again."
Slowly Khan turned and his smile faded somewhat. He was puzzled by the sight that met his eyes.
The man before him was clearly Scott. But... something was different. A long scar stretched across his cheek, his eyes were dark. The uniform looked different, too. And somehow the engineer seemed... happily surprised.
"I don't recall us ever having the honor of meeting in person before, but I'm sure the Captain will be very pleased to see ye, Khan Noonien Singh."
Scott pressed the phaser against the augment's chest, and while Khan didn't have the slightest idea what was going on, he was sure it would change his life.
Before he even had a chance to attack Scott, he was already surrounded by guards.
++++++++
"Captain, we have an unwanted guest on board."
With these words, Scott welcomed James T. Kirk, who must have immediately made his way to the cells.
Khan eyed the man from head to toe.
He didn't look very different from the Kirk he knew. Maybe a little more... masculine and stronger.
"What a surprise. I didn't think the leader of the augments would be stupid enough to try to sneak onto the ISS Enterprise."
Khan raised an eyebrow.
ISS? That was a new one.
"You look different than the Empire pictures show. The hair... is much shorter."
A grin was on Kirk's face as he stepped as close to the glass as possible.
"It seems to me there's been a misunderstanding here, Captain."
Wherever Khan had landed, it was not the Enterprise he had intended to reach.
But he liked the men of this crew very much. The power they radiated was equal to his own.
"Oh, really? Then you are not Khan Noonien Singh?"
Khan just smiled.
"Oh, I am. But I don't think I'm the man you know by that name."
These words seemed to take Kirk by surprise. He folded his arms.
"Oh, really? And who are you, then?"
A series of explanations followed and both parties quickly found out that they were from different universes.
Scott concluded that the ion storm must have caused the Khan of this universe and the Khan of the other to be switched.
And Kirk seemed to see this as an opportunity. He was willing to cooperate with Khan to subjugate and control both universes.
And Khan agreed to this. He only had one question.
"And what does your Vulcan first officer think of this?"
Spock. What was the Spock of this universe like, he wondered? Khan would love to meet him.
But he was disappointed.
"A Vulcan? Oh, of course. Spock. I had that one executed several weeks ago. One should never attempt to undermine a captain's authority, should one?"
Khan was very surprised to hear this. He had never thought that there could be a universe in which Kirk and Spock were enemies.
But... miracles did happen again and again.
"Scott, take care of Khan. Show him to his quarters and work on a plan to merge these universes."
The engineer looked at Khan and a smile tugged at his lips.
"With the greatest pleasure."
++++++++
Khan followed the Scotsman through the corridors of the ship and couldn't help grinning.
He had always had a soft spot for intelligent men. He had always liked Scott... a lot.
But he knew he could never have won the engineer over.
But this Scott? He was different. For sure he would not be averse to surrendering to Khan's charms.
"So, Mr. Scott, am I correct in assuming that you are the first officer?"
The augment caught up so he could walk beside Scott.
A sly smile was on the man's face.
"What makes ye think that?"
Khan shrugged his shoulders.
"Well... I'm sure the captain appreciates your genius. And your loyalty."
The Scott he had met would have done anything for Kirk.
"Aye, ye're probably right."
Unobtrusively, Khan's hand stroked the Scotsman's arm.
"And... I, too, am a great fan of... people like you. People whose intellect equals mine."
The smile on Scott's face widened.
"Are ye trying to flatter me?"
Khan's grin also became mischievous.
"Maybe."
He sensed it. He sensed that Scott was attracted to him. He had all but won him over.
But before anything could happen, Scott came to a halt.
"These are yer quarters. If ye need anything, call someone on the intercom in the room."
It surprised Khan how tough and confident this Scott was. But somehow... he liked it, too.
"Well then... I look forward to our upcoming collaboration."
Khan held out his hand and it took a moment, but then the engineer took it.
"Me too."
++++++++
They worked together very often, planning and taking notes.
And Khan couldn't deny that he was becoming more attracted to Scott with each passing day.
He just wanted him more. But the man kept him at arm's length.
Again and again he made hints that suggested interest, and then - a brief moment later - he was treating Khan like a nobody again.
But finally his big day seemed to have come.
"What do ye say we work in my quarters today?"
Scott's hand stroked his arm and his eyes said more than a thousand words.
At last! Finally, the Scotsman was ready.
Khan smiled and nodded.
"That sounds very nice. Lead the way."
++++++++
It was dark in Scott's room, but Khan didn't care. The moment the room door closed behind them, he wanted nothing more than to feel that body in his hands.
Wild kisses were exchanged, still on the way to the bed the Scotsman took off the augment's shirt.
Khan grinned into the kiss. This was perfect! There was nothing he had wanted more.
When Scott pushed him onto the bed, Khan expected the engineer to follow at any moment, but he was wrong.
When the light suddenly came on and he felt restraints closing automatically around his wrists and ankles, the smile faded from Khan's face.
"What the-"
He looked around and spotted a third person in the room.
A man, he knew too.
Dr. McCoy.
The man looked older than the version of Khan's universe. One eye was missing and several scars ran across his face. A cool smile was on his lips.
"Here it is, mo ghràdh, the gift ye always wished for."
Khan could only watch as Scott stepped over to the doctor and gave him a kiss before both men looked to their prisoner.
"Thank you, darling. I knew I could count on you."
Slowly, McCoy stepped over to the bed and surveyed Khan from head to toe, a crazed look in his eyes.
"I've always wanted to understand augment anatomy. But our version would never have been stupid enough to enter our ship."
Khan simply stared at the man. Anger sparkled in his gaze. But he controlled himself. He played it cool.
"Kirk's not going to like this. He needs me."
The grin on McCoy's face widened.
"Oh, Kirk. He'll be history soon. Uhura's taking care of that as we speak. The idiot shouldn't have killed her lover. Now she's working with us."
Scott also stepped closer. His smile was incredibly sardonic.
"And just who's going to be captain then? Oh, right! Me! And if my beloved makes a wish, I'll grant it."
Tenderly, the Scotsman stroked Khan's cheek with his hand and winked at him.
"I'm really sorry, but I'm more into the southern type."
Khan's eyes slid from Scott to McCoy, who had donned gloves and was now rummaging in a suitcase for tools.
"Well then... let's get started on this examination. I can't wait to see what discoveries we make."
The scalpel and pliers the doctor had picked out shimmered in the light of the many lamps.
"Oh, that's going to be one hell of a scar, mo ghràdh," Scott said, pity in his voice, but it was all fake.
"Well, he won't care about it once he's dead."
Khan felt each cut. He felt McCoy taking him apart piece by piece, but he didn't give himself the nerve to scream or pull a face.
His eyes rested on Scott the entire time, who watched his boyfriend work with fascination.
How had he been so naive? How could he have fallen for the Scotsman?
When McCoy finally cut open his vital organs, ending his life, his last thought was how stupid he had been.
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isamajor · 11 months
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June of Doom : day 16 to 20
Another batch of whump drabbles inspired by @juneofdoom‘s prompts with the Skyrim custom followers ! :D
16 – Concussion / Hammer
The bandit chief swung his waharmmer with force. Lucifer blocked with his shield but the latter breaked into splinters under the shock. The Argonian tottered, watching with horror the hammer be risen again by the Nord. Now without a shield to protect him, the second hit landed on his helmet. A bone-jarring concussion reverberated through his skull, making violentely his teeths bang together, dazing his mind and clouding his vision. The grip on his sword loosened and the weapon fell on the ground. The radiant pain in his head made Lucifer stagger a few steps sideways before collapsing in the grass. (101)
17 - « Don't lie to me »
The wound on Gore's leg had been treated and his motor skills had improved greatly. However, a few days later, behind a fake playful smile and a quip between clenched teeth, pain hasn't left his gaze.
"Do you know how pale you look, right now? Are you okay ?" asked Auri.
"I'm fine Auri."
"Don't lie to me. You don't look like a person who is fine. You're awfully pale and sweaty. It's your leg, isn't it ?"
The Nord rolled his eyes in respense, not daring to admit his trouble, like a kid caught in the act.  (104)
18 - Fall
The icy path in the Velothi Mountains stretched before them, treacherous and slippery. Each step could lead to a fall and the group was carefully walking in silence, their breath forming a mist in the frigid air. Kaidan stepped on a frozen rock, and the misstep happened. Losing his balance from the top of his imposing build, he fell below, his body hit by the fir trees that adorned the hillside. His schout echoed in the mountain and to this cry answered the cries of all his friends, horrified at his fall. They could see him lying below, a dark figure in the pristine snow. (105)
19 - Wound Cleaning
Nebarra gritted his teeth as Taliesin poured the stinging liquid over his wound. The searing pain of the act made him curse and clench his fists. The smell of strong alcohold filled the air, mingling with the heavy scent of blood.
"It's a shame to waste such good alcohol in this way. You would have let me drink it, I would have forgotten my pain."
Taliesin carefully cleaned the deep gash that marked Nebarra's arm. With each pass of the soaked cloth, Nebarra flinched, his body instinctively tensing in discomfort. He glared at Taliesin, who replied with a jaded sigh. (102)
20 - “That’s going to be one hell of a scar.” / Scrape
Lydia stumbled as she narrowly avoided a bandit's swinging blade. The edge of the weapon scraped against her arm, leaving a trail of red in its wake, forcing her to drop her shield. Gritting her teeth, she refused to give up the fight.
"That’s going to be one hell of a scar.", Kaidan remarked.
Lydia glanced down at the scrape, her face set in determination. She wouldn't let a mere wound stop her. With a fierce battle cry "For Whiterun !", she launched herself at the bandits, determined to protect her Thane with her unwavering loyalty. (98)
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sergle · 4 months
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I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it
#I love the cherry red / wine red and I'll probably go back at some point bc it's my Origin.#but for now.#I don't actively lie to people but bc it's a Natural and Plausible hair color#and I'm already pale and I dye my eyebrows to match my hair. ppl figure it's natural#and it has come up MULTIPLE TIMES. and I've recently been rolling with it instead of correcting ppl. bc who cares?#recent examples that come to mind (but I did correct them in this one) my surgeon assuming it was natural#and using my genetics as a natural redhead as a baseline to tell me about what I can expect from my future scarring#and then again later with the anesthesia. they were going to dose me differently#the anesthesiologist glanced at me when I came into the OR and was getting the stuff ready on his cart#and when he heard me talking to my doc and re-telling him that oh the hair isn't natural#he was behind the curtain like FUCK#taking shit off his cart and quietly redoing his setup#that's how I learned that redheads need higher doses of anesthesia than other ppl.#they also need more of the topical stuff like lidocaine. apparently they metabolize it faster(?)#ANYWAY he was going to up my dose thinking I needed it lol#so i almost got way more sedatives and pain meds than i needed bc of my hair dye LMAOOO#other more Normal Life examples was a country dude in full hunting gear holding a door open for me someplace#and I said thank you and he lifted his hat up to point at his (natural) red hair and said ''twins!''#this one sticks with me because that was such a cute thing to do. what the hell#and at snakefest I was talking to some people at their food truck. there was an older guy who trapped me into a convo for like 30mins#he was Very Nice. and they were going to some type of irish festival next and said I should go too bc I'll be right at home#flat out just was like. this bitch looks irish#and I don't know why all of this is so funny to me. it has no reason to be.
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made this in honor of the trans day of visibility/easter crossover event of 2024. get out there and crack some eggs, folx
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year
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Mission Failed
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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sableeira · 1 year
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I wish we knew more about how bsd characters figured out they have abilities. The fact that transferring an ability is confirmed to be rare implies that most characters just randomly figured out their abilities. Like did Kunikida one day write in his planner “I need to buy new glasses” and suddenly glasses spawned in his hand? Did Tanizaki play tag on the playground and just matrix-ed into thin air? Did Fyodor just randomly touch another person and see them drop dead in a pool of blood in front of him?
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hyperthinks · 4 months
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stumbling out of bodyshop covered in blood
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aresonist · 2 years
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little guy harmless
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hanakihan · 6 months
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Some Chulwoo omegaverse AU things because I am brainrotting
- differentiation to alphas and omegas was a result of outbreak. With appearance of mana in humans, they also started to change biology wise, but not all of them. There’s no real physical changes aside from pheromones and natural hierarchy structure. Surprisingly enough people know more about mana and dungeons than about this.. thing;
- with no surprise to anyone, S ranks also awaken as alphas, with no exception. Top A ranks sometimes awaken as alphas as well. Rest of humanity didn’t change and was deemed ‘betas’. I’m really rare cases one can awaken and awaken as omega as well, usually it’s lowest ranks simply because they lack mana to rise in natural hierarchy;
- despite jinwoo’s position as weakest hunter in existence, he’s at least lucky enough not to awaken as omega and instead stayed as a normal beta. After his ‘rebirth’ and double lair fiasco that status didn’t seemingly change but starts to the more he climbs ranks. He doesn’t even notice he became an alpha until someone who can smell pheromones (omegas and other alphas, betas literally cannot) pointed it out. They also pointed out that despite being a really strong alpha, jinwoo’s scent isn’t offensive or too strong like it usually happens with alphas, on contrary, it’s rather calming and neutral which is a rarity.
- jinchul, despite being top A rank, wasn’t awakened as an alpha and he’s really grateful for it. When S ranks or other A ranks use their offensive alpha pheromones to intimidate or submit him it doesn’t work because he simply can’t smell said pheromones. beta status makes him comfortable, since it’s less problems. Despite that however, some people (and even gunhee himself) mention that despite being a beta jinchul has faint pleasant smell, which probably helps him at managing especially rowdy people.
- with each passing meeting jinwoo starts to notice that jinchul started to smell differently to him, and he finds it pleasant, because unlike others’, jinchul’s smell isn’t offensive or intense. jinwoo has no idea that jinchul is in fact an ordinary beta and not an alpha as he thinks.
- jinwoo, who never was an alpha initially, doesn’t know alpha etiquette and thus has slight panic. Because apparently his brain starts to have stray thoughts and he’s more annoyed at other alpha’s behavior especially when it involves jinchul. gunhee is having too much fun seeing his second (disaster) son having a crisis over his alpha identity (and weird awkward unconscious attempts by to send courting signals to his right hand man). he takes pity on poor kid after some time and tells him that not only he been doing it awkwardly and wrongly, he also tells that jinchul wouldn’t been able to notice it anyway because he’s a simple beta.
- jinwoo having even more of a crisis upon realizing he’s been attempting to court jinchul without even realizing it. now on top of alpha panic he has gay panic as well. gunhee is having TOO much fun now.
- jinchul has some knowledge about behavior of both alphas and omegas but he also lacks full on knowledge so he legit has no idea when jinwoo starts to court him. he thinks jinwoo is simply trying to be nice to him due to their work.
- it’s all cute and awkward until jinwoo’s hit with his rut like a truck and he’s suffering because the instincts and urges are here but he can’t really do anything about it. what is worse he fears he may attack someone out of frustration or attack jinchul and he nearly screeches when gunhee apparently sends jinchul to his home. because jinchul have been dealing with alphas for years now and his faint calming scent is what acts as a sedative in emergency cases. so some pats and caressing from jinchul and Jinwoo is pretty much back to normal. Which is even worse for jinwoo because after jinchul leaves, this faint smell is left in his room and he’s dying from it.
- after tests turns out usual medication doesn’t work on jinwoo (due to his monarch status) so now it’s occasional sessions with jinchul. jinwoo is always dying out of awkwardness and embarrassment from it, jinchul doesn’t mind that much because honestly, it’s just some hours off sitting near jinwoo and reading a book or something with occasional pats.
- (jinwoo finally losing it and nearly attempts to bite jinchul because alpha behavior combined with monarch’s overall domineering tendencies overpowered. there was blood and fight and all jinwoo managed is to seriously mangle jinchul’s arm with his bites and teeth because that’s what jinchul was using to protect his neck)
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amethystina · 7 months
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So I just found a document in the "Yo Han's POV" folder of Who Holds the Devil that I don't remember making
And when I open it, it's just two sentences in an otherwise empty document. Which are:
"Ga On loved Yoon Soo Hyun too much, and Yo Han not enough. If at all."
... and now I kind of want to sue myself for emotional damages.
What the hell, me? Why did you leave that there? For me to stumble over? RUDE.
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serickswrites · 10 months
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That’s Going to Be One Hell of a Scar
Warnings: blood, escape, wounds
Villain ran along behind Hero. “Run! Run faster!” They urged as they pushed forward. 
“I’m going as fast as I can,” Hero panted as they pushed forward. They just needed to get to the other side of the gate. Then they would be safe from Supervillain’s monster. 
“Then make it faster.” Villain’s voice was tight with fear. They were faster than Hero, but they couldn’t let Hero fall behind, so they put themself between Hero and the monster. 
They regretted that. 
“Through!” Hero said as they passed the gate and began to shoulder it closed. 
Villain dove, skidding along the last few feet to get away from the monster. They could feel the scrape along their side from their hip to their shoulder, but they didn’t care. They were through the gate. “Close it! Damn it!” 
As Hero struggled to close the heavy gate, Villain jumped up, blood dripping down their side, and shouldered the gate closed. The two collapsed, chests heaving with exertion. 
“You ok?” Villain asked as the wooziness began to set it once the adrenaline faded. 
Hero nodded. “Yeah.” They gave Villain a sidelong glance. “That’s going to be one helluva scar, Villain.”
Villain looked down at their own side as the world began to spin around them, black dots decorating their vision. “Y-Y-Yeah,” they said softly as they sank down further against the gate, all energy finally leaving their body. 
“Oh no you don’t,” Hero said, shaking Villain’s shoulder. “I need your help getting out of here.”
“‘kayyyyy,” Villain slurred as they blinked against the exhaustion that was sucking them under.
“Villain, stay awake. Damn it!”  Hero cursed as Villain’s head lolled forward. “Guess I’ll just have to figure a way for both of us to get out of here alone then.”
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 2 months
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[cws: drugging, SA and SA apologia, fantasy racism/ableism, forced institutionalization.]
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i know i never shut up about it but god i am still just. So Salty about how the show handles the dynamic between mayor jones and pericles for many reasons, and one of the biggest is that there are really strong overtones here of sexual assault.
a character who already brings to mind the Slimy, Shady Cis White Guy with Buried Allegations archetype:
takes advantage of the trust of someone who's doing something with him in secret--
(which will get that person in a disproportionate amount of trouble compared to him, if they're discovered)
--to catch him off guard so he can grab him, drug him, and do violent things to his body while he's unconscious; scars him for life in a way that is disabling and should cause a lot of ongoing suffering, which, like many other things that should have a strong negative impact on him physically or psychologically, the writers ignore; and dumps him there alone to discover what's been done to him when he wakes up.
specifically, he does this to someone from a marginalized group that's highly unlikely to be believed if they tell anyone what he did--and going by the fact that mayor jones never got in any trouble until present day, he wasn't.
goes out of the way to ruin the life of the victim and discredit him as thoroughly as possible, because he's a loose end and he needs to shut him up.
flees the scene and gets away scot free with this for twenty years, has a successful privileged career and is considered a pillar of the community in the meantime.
when his dirty secret, which he's been paranoid about finally facing consequences for after the victim has recently become a risk again, is discovered, it's a huge career-ending scandal.
is redeemed by the end, while his victim goes on to be the Monstrous Irredeemable Pure Evil Main Villain and also sexually abuse someone himself, which is played as horrific and traumatizing (as it should be).
more specifically, is portrayed as showing redeeming, heroic anti-villain qualities by backhanding the victim into a wall as hard as he can in present day.
me: hm. yeah fuck this
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#professor pericles#fred jones sr.#SDMItag#SDMIcrit tag#the crit files#cws in post#like. jesus christ dude.#i'm guessing there's probably been You Can't Like Mayor Jones He's Abusive discourse before; i don't want to contribute to it or anything#no shade to mayor jones enjoyers y'all have fun#but holy shit i do not like this man lmfao#this isn't even getting into the fact that it is extremely easy to read pericles as a victim of *other* SA both metaphorical and literal#(metaphorical: the entity groomed him his entire life)#(literal: the creators intentionally made reference with him; onscreen; to Inappropriate Handling that happens to parrots in real life)#(he comes from a world where people assume there is zero difference between him and an animal; and would probably touch him the same way)#(no one would have *recognized* it was inappropriate and there is not a chance in hell he would have been allowed to say stop)#(many many MANY things about his character immediately make sense with that reading whether the writers thought it through that far or not)#(which i have a Whole Post planned to go into; but this bit was enough of a detour that i felt like it should just be its own post lmao)#also re: scarred for life and ongoing suffering + disability as a result: on a literal level a scar like that would hurt like a *bitch*#especially with the complete lack of medical care it seems to have gotten; going by how it looks. it would be a huge source of chronic pain#on a not-literal level: boy howdy what a metaphor!#anyway yeah i would say this is roughly equivalent to if they'd had ricky finally get free from the snakes after twenty years#had him go into a Scary Evil Villain Spiral after while completely ignoring how horrifying it was or the trauma it'd have caused him#had pericles gloat about having pulled off injecting the snakes; and say he should have lived 'the rest of his miserable life' that way#and not only had no one go 'wtf' at any of that but given him a Redeeming Moment where he incapacitates ricky with venom again#and also tried to frame ricky as deserving the snakes/having done it to himself because he Did Bad Things while looking for the treasure#and also had him abuse someone partly in reaction to them mocking him over the snakes; and saying that being tortured and abused with them#for twenty years makes him unfit to be anything but subordinate. on a watsonian level ricky's standing up for himself against abuse but jfc#don't get me wrong there are definitely still differences in their dynamics but yeah i am not happy about it lmfao
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boxwinebaddie · 2 months
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OMG I KNEWWW IT WAS CHEF EVER SINCE THE TATTOO I LOVE BEING RIGHT
i love that you were right and love that you love you were right, love!
i was trying not to be too terribly obvious, but the tattoo was a bit on the nose...or forearm...speaking of
i moved the tattoo.
i know! very scandalous of me to desecrate the canon i built!
but i didn't like that it was just like randomly thrown on his forearm in a careless manner & without greater significance, bc ok, obviously it's very significant because it's for his dad or his Real Dad anyways, but it didn't have that Special Uncle Nina ~Pizzazz~ or meaning i make.
so...sh tw...
i decided to put it on his wrist.
because as we know...stan is Sad.
and when stan is very sad, he does things that are very...very Bad. and when stan was about 16/17 and having a very low, dark moment he...lacerated his wrists...and specifically split his radial artery.
stan was half dead when chef found him, kenny had sent him some very unkenny like text messages worrying about stan's mental health
( i think i mentioned this earlier, but kenny and stan were extremely close during the 2nd part of the rm flashbacks after the fire which take place in chicago - ken is kind of like a second son to chef; they're both his boys, blue and red, if you remember the little song he sang )
it was all very traumatic and fucking horrible ( stan wrote a note ;-; )
and...honestly, given stan's situation it's kind of suuuper Not Smart to take him to a hospital, but what i will say is that chef's birth son, lived for one day, died the next morning and was buried privately by chef and ex-wife, so there's no record of his death, but there is, however, record of his Birth, so for all intents and purposes, legally, stan is
jerome nigel mcelroy jr...aka stan.
but yeah it was a mess and when kenny first got good with the tattoo gun, stan had him tattoo 'CHEF' over the wrist he cut because he knows if he ever gets that low again, he's not only killing himself...
...but the person who saved his life.
-uncle nina, lore whore
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meowsticmarvels · 3 months
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I think we need to discuss more about tbe fact that junpeis awakening involves him literally dying and getting revived. like that has got to feel so fucking strange afterwards. like he is literally on borrowed time. if chidori didn't choose to revive him he would've been shot and killed by takaya and that would've been it. knowing that has got to be so weird it's another level of near death experience good lord. like that shit fucks you up
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astranauticus · 3 months
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ok i like rushed through the whole orv webtoon way too fast so now i have thoughts going in like 5 different directions but ep121-123 drive me so fucking insane actually. every time i think about those two conversations i have to sit down
#orv#orv liveblog#like i feel like depictions of childhood abuse in fiction tend to depiction the relationship as some version of#'the one evil violent parent and the one good parent trying their best (it wasnt good enough)'#see: the twins parents from lc s2 is the obvious one but also like#going back to my roots lol but enji and rei todoroki? or hell even fire lord ozai and ursa#yknow theres this idea of like theres the one who was trying! and the one who fucked it all up#well yeah rei's the one who scarred her sons face but thats so obviously framed as like a trauma response outside of her control#like its not something youre reeaally meant to blame her for yknow#the WHOLE idea with kim dokja's conversation with yoo sangah is whether he's supposed to blame/forgive lee sookyung#wait ok those conversations drive me so insane like im feeling the alevel literature urge to fuckin close read quotes#that one line where he thinks like this is the vilest form of violence he can use against sangah goes by SO fast but it hit me SO hard#the idea of asking her to put herself in this nightmare situation she has no frame of reference for understanding or empathising with#and then asking her as someone who she rly cares about! to be the judge in this situation she cannot possibly fully grasp#and all of that being framed as an act of violence towards her. like asking her to do this knowing she cant possibly do it#but also 'did you want me to seem pleased to see you' 'a little (lie)' and 'do you think of me as a mother' 'a little (lie)'#like the pretense of a normal relationship over the yeah we know our relationships fucked over the#unfortunately we still talk and think in the same way and we understand each other way too well#ok wait but circling back to the original point. i saw this fucking incredible fanart on twitter that sort of goes into the like#how do you?? handle?? not knowing if youre supposed to blame your parent for something that they did that hurt you#like its this little animation thing thats all in kdj's internal monologue except for one line where its him saying#'im terrible. i deserved what she did to me'#and its like. yeah that would be easier huh. like the self loathing is easier to handle than the confusion and cognitive dissonance#full disclosure i saw that fanart literally a year ago before i knew jack shit about orv and the sentiment hit me SO HARD i just#havent been able to stop thinking about it for a whole year. like as soon as i finished 123 i immediately went to look for it in my archive#i checked the artist has a tumblr but that art is not on it and it bugs me so much i want them to know that they somehow like#managed to make art so painful it defeated both my non-orv reading self and my lifelong severe memory problems#i mean in comparison that line (that also went by alarmingly fast) about how without twsa back then like kdj would not be here today#like not so much to dig into just. Yikes#and him telling ysa all of this with that fucking smile on his face like thats the part that really gets to me just his *fucking expression
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batz · 11 months
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realizing its almost been 6 months since top surgery:)
#frank.txt#despite all the complications i had w healing im rlly happy w how my chest looks:)#ALTHOUGH. ONE BIG COMPLAINT#i used to use my bras as an extra pocket for my phone or lighter or whatever. but now i dont wear bras and therefore have no extra pocket#:( u win some u lose some :(#anyway all shirts look awesome on me now AND i can wear t shirts w funny text or image ans ppl wont feel awkward reading it:)#also the scars r fading rlly well! they almost blend in w my skin completely! (keyword almost. theyr still visible atp)#the way the scars r shaped is interesting bc theyre like a U shape. but bc of that when i inevitably build my pectoral muscles#the scars should blend into the shadow caused by thr muscle. i also dont have a Completrly flat chest bc im fat:0#tbh my surgeon did rlly well . i have a lot of problems with him bc hes kind of a dick but from like. idk an artistic standpoint hes good#but the doctor standpoint hes Uhm. well i lost a nipple and had severe infection due to denied antibiotics and lack of aftercare#BUT. the lost nipple isnt visible and it looks normal now somehow AND. i didn't die from the infection so. I mean#i just had to spend christmas with a fever of 103 LMAO#HONESTLY THO i would do it again EVEN if i knew i would go thru hell bc this surgery fuckn saved my life holy shit#i didnt realize just how much i dissociated from my own body bc of dysphoria. now i feel more in touch with it and happy!:)#also now i can Eventually get that chest tattoo i wanted for like 7 years lmao#erm yippee:)
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