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vincent-frankenstein · 5 years

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different anon, but heck yeah u should definitely infodump about lucid dreaming!! im really interested in it

aaaaa okay !!! uh hold onto ur ears yall im abt to talk em off lmao

so !! if u didnt know, lucid dreaming is basically when you become aware that you’re dreaming while youre in a dream. once you’re aware, you can take control of the dream in literally any way u want — u can do anything, go anywhere, meet anyone, all with the knowledge that nothing can hurt u and nothing can stop u

its a fascinating concept and, the feeling when u actually become lucid for the first time? its better than anything else in the world. its the most invigorating thing u can ever feel, i think. but actually becoming lucid is, ,, , , hm. a time and a half.

putting the rest under a cut bc, hooooo boy this is gonna get long

first things first! you absolutely have to keep a dream journal. forgetting ur dreams is all well and good when ur not trying to accomplish anything in them, but if you become lucid and then wake up with only the vaguest memory of what you actually did? thats painful.

u can either go all out and get a fancy journal and write them down physically each morning, or u can do what i do and just download an app. i personally use the app Dream Catcher, which lets u tag ur dreams for easy organization. just get in the habit of writing down your dreams every morning, and if you really, really cant remember anything, just write down that you didnt dream anything that day. you’ll train your brain to remember your dreams better

secondly! reality checks! are absolutely imperative! the idea behind them is that, if you do something throughout the day that “proves” your reality, eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams as well. for example, a common thing in my dreams is that i’ll have extra fingers, so i check my hands a lot throughout the day.

it can’t just be a casual thing, too. if all you do is glance at your hands and b like “yo looks normal, we gucci”, then you’ll do the same in your dreams even if you have Weird hands. trust me, Dream-You is an idiot, you gotta be obvious with this stuff. take a few moments, look at your hands, count out your fingers, and really think to yourself “am i dreaming?”

try to get in the habit of doing that at least 15 times a day, and eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams too.

now, if you just stick with doing those two things — which is what i’m doing right now — your chances of becoming lucid will raise astronomically. even just those two tiny things can train your brain into realizing when the world around you is real and when it isnt. you can also attempt something really easy called a MILD — a mnemonic-induced-lucid-dream — which can help your chances even more without upping the effort

whenever you go to bed, just take a few moments — even just five minutes can help — and just. lay there. and think to urself, again and again “the next scene will be a dream” or “i will become lucid in my dreams tonight” or something similar. get ur brain really focused on lucid dreaming right before you fall asleep and chances are, those Vibes will bleed over into ur dreams and you’ll become lucid

practice those three things consistently, every day, and pretty soon you’ll start becoming lucid. it takes time, though! dont be discouraged if you end up not becoming lucid for the first few weeks, or even months. sometimes your brain just needs a bit of extra training

that’s what ive been doing for the past year or so — bc damn do i Not have the energy to actually put in too much effort — but!!! there are other techniques!!

my personal favorite is the WBTB, or wake-back-to-bed method. with this technique, you set your alarm for roughly 5-6 hours after you go to sleep so you’ll wake up inside of one of your REM cycles, specifically one where your dreams will be the most vivid. dont do anything, just roll over and go right back to sleep.

you can even use a MILD along with this, repeat whatever mantra u usually use as you fall back asleep. you should start to see hypnagogic imagery — blobs of color and vague shapes floating before your eyes. just observe them. at one point, they’ll start forming more familiar shapes, and places, and maybe even people — and there should be a moment, a snap, where you go from observing these images to actually being in the scene. you literally build the dream around yourself, its magical

i have read that WBTB can cause sleep paralysis, but i’ve never personally experienced any problems with it, aside from the fact that im always tired the next day.

another thing that could severely increase your chances of being lucid but also involves Effort — meditation. specifically mindfulness meditation. the act of bringing full awareness to your Existence, honing in on just Your body, Your mind, Your breath, will make you a more aware, mindful person, which in turn makes you more perceptive of dream signs. also, the ability to clear your mind and center yourself with a moment’s notice really comes in handy when the dream becomes destabilized and you have to take control

if ur an adhd lad like me — or neurodivergent in any way, really — the idea of meditation can be,,,, terrifying. honestly, i havent meditated in like six months now, because it really wasnt?? doing anything for me?? mostly because im absolutely incapable of sitting still for that long without Something to stimulate me

so! loophole! guided meditations. having someone else guide you through the process can make it a bit easier to focus. just find one that works for u on youtube. there are even guided meditations made specifically to prime ur brain for lucid dreaming!

so thats how you get lucid. now for when youre lucid

at first, lucid dreaming is going to be extremely hard. dreams fall apart very easily — if you get too overexcited or if a dream-character looks at you the wrong way or if you cant seem to do what you want to do, your lucidity can fade and you’ll either go back to being your normal dream self or you’ll wake up. dreams are volatile and hard to control, and even harder to master

thats where meditation comes in handy. youll have a much easier time controlling your dreams if you can look at the world around you, take a breath, center yourself, and know that you can control it. that being said, you can absolutely learn to take control without ever having meditated a day in your life. its all about your mindset!

you have to go into it with confidence. the key to controlling your dreams is knowing that they’re your dreams. you cant forget that you’re in control. thats why i feel like learning to lucid dream doubles as a lesson in self-confidence — you have to learn to trust yourself, trust that you can handle any scenario thrown at you and come out on top.

if you can achieve this mindset, you can literally do anything. ive had maybe 50 lucid dreams since i started learning about them — which… is honestly a really low amount, but. i havent really had the time/energy to really throw myself into it as much as i want to. but just in those dreams, ive flown, ive shapeshifted, ive met my sides, ive teleported to vast, gorgeous lands and seen some of the most beautiful things ive ever seen. anything is possible in a lucid dream; thats why its so worth it to put in the effort

but when youre first starting out, itll be extremely hard to maintain that mindset. like i said, Dream-you is dumb as shit — you’ll forget youre dreaming, you’ll be unable to control anything, you’ll wake up before you manage to accomplish anything. more often than not, the dream will destabilize, which is Not Fun

if the dream starts to destabilize — basically, if things start going fuzzy or vague, if you suddenly cant see, if you can feel ur body in bed, basically anything that points towards you waking up — there are ways to fix it. literally just spinning around helps for some reason? spin around, fall down, run ur hands along anything u can find and feel the texture, or just demand that the dream stabilize itself. most of the time, thatll work

and if it doesnt, dont be discouraged. theres always another night to dream

so basically: start a dream journal, do reality checks, mmmmaybe meditate if youre up for it, and your dreams will become like. at least 10x more interesting. trust me, try flying: its literally the best feeling in the entire world

its just !!! such a huge, incredible thing, and its so fascinating to learn about too. all the different ways you can train your brain, all the different things you can do, all the studies done on the subject. i suggest reading about Steven LaBerge or keith hearne. hearne led the study that proved lucid dreaming existed in the first place! he got a lucid dreamer to signal to him that he was conscious while asleep using REM (rapid-eye movement), because lucid dreaming happens during the REM state. also, robert waggoner’s book Gateway to the Inner Self is really fascinating too!

hm wow i really went ham here lmao

thanku for giving me a chance to infodump im very happy rn

#me: /spends a full half-hour infodumping abt something most people havent even heard of/#now if only i could remember this much when it comes to schoolwork lmaooooo #ty for the Infodump Permission im !! vibin rn #lowkey highkey this makes me wanna get back into it. . . might do a wbtb tonight...#personal #logan talks #lucid dreaming #Anonymous

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jayykesley · 4 years

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1-30 for Derick and Rosalyn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1. If your OC was an action figure/doll being sold at a toy store, what items would come packaged with them? What phrases would they say when their string is pulled?

Derick: obviously a small cat toy, and its just a lot of “sorry, excuse me, sorry”

Rosalyn: her yellow scarf, and “stop asking questions”

2. Your OC’s favorite song just came on the radio, but they’re in public! Do they contain themselves or do they rock out without a second thought?

Derick: absolutely not, nothing he would hate more than attracting attention to himself in public

Rosalyn: not outright dancing, but shes tapping her foot or nodding along unconsciously

3. Does your OC revel in celebrating holidays/birthdays or do they have zero holiday spirit?

Derick: holidays dont bring a ton of happy memories, so on his own he doesnt do much to celebrate. But with his new friends and family, hes more open to making happier memories

Rosalyn: she herself doesnt go big, but she’s not Scrooge or anything if the people around her want to celebrate

4. How much effort does your OC put in when it comes to giving presents to friends?

Derick: i think gift-giving is his love language? so while he doesnt give extravagant gifts, they all come from the heart (flowers, cool rocks, etc)

Rosalyn: all her gifts are purely functional - you mention you ran out of razors? she’s got you. need a tire pressure gauge for your car? that’s your birthday gift. she once bought roswell a box of colorful bandaids and a new belt for their “camp-iversary”

5. Does your OC have a role model or someone they idolize? How would they react to meeting them?

Derick: not really, he’s more intimidated than in awe of people that are “above” him

Rosalyn: she definitely looks up to Dr. Gatling

6. How organized is your OC’s workspace?

Derick: a bit scattered, but mostly somewhat clean

Rosalyn: scarily organized and very minimalist

7. What would be your OC’s ideal vacation destination?

Derick: he’s not huge into traveling, so anywhere that allows him to sleep in his own bed at the end of the day

Rosalyn: anywhere, she wants to go anywhere and everywhere, she wants to see everything and experience everything and just feel free

8. Which of your OCs sleeps the most? The least?

Derick, although he is probably at least a little depressed, so its not exactly healthy

9. Is there anything peculiar about your OC’s teeth? Anything crooked, missing, or discolored?

Derick: hes got that perfect rich boy smileTM

rosalyn: shes got a couple chipped teeth, could possibly stand to whiten them if she felt like it

10. Which of your OCs has all the sass? Who has all the class?

of the two of them, rosalyns got the sass and dericks got the class

11. Is your OC a sore loser or a graceful one? When they do win, do they gloat or are they humble about it?

derick: very humble (again, hates the extra attention)

rosalyn: not a sore loser, but WILL rub it in carson’s face if she beats him in anything

12. Does your OC try to set a good example for those around them or could they care less about the impact they have?

derick: tries his best to be a good influence, maybe tries a little too hard sometimes

rosalyn: could not possibly care less

13. How well does your OC take compliments? Do they get flustered or try to turn them down?

derick: BAD, hes VERY BAD AT TAKING COMPLIMENTS. he dissolves into a flustered stuttering mess he cannot take a single compliment

rosalyn: “I know.”

14. When your OC doesn’t understand something, do they ask for help right away or do they flounder about trying to figure it out on their own?

derick: embarrassed to be asking for help, embarrassed to flounder helplessly, he just doesnt know what to do

rosalyn: might ask for help, might brute force it, whatever she feels like

15. Which of your OCs has the most patience? The least? How would they react to someone cutting in front of them in line?

Derick: pretty patient, but would probably just fester quietly if someone cut in front of him

rosalyn: impatient and unfortunately for everyone around her she is extremely confrontational

16. How does your OC feel about their mortality? If they’re immortal, do they see this as a curse or a blessing?

derick: would like very much to not think about the impermanence of existence

rosalyn: she aint dying until she kills knox. “it’s easy,” she says “just dont die.”

17. If your OC is trained in combat, what kind of opponent would they do best against? What kind of opponent would they lose horribly to?

derick: hes extremely not and will lose

rosalyn: would do best against (obviously) someone unskilled and weak, or another Heavy. Isn’t that great against a Flyer because Rosalyn is very impatient and crude in her fighting style, and Flyers are graceful and lithe.

18. Are there any issues that your OC sees as pretentious or not worth arguing over? Or are they the one getting in heated debates over trivial things?

Derick: generally doesnt argue much bc he just doesnt see most things as worth getting heated over

Rosalyn: is ready and willing to get angry over any and all things

19. Your OC’s favorite ongoing book series/show/etc. just got canceled! How do they react?

derick: disappointed and annoyed. you know how interesting something has to look for him to actually start watching/reading it?

rosalyn: unsurprisingly, shes angry

20. Your OC overhears someone talking smack about one of their friends. Do they come to their defense or get involved in any way?

derick: might actually say something tbh - he wont stand up for himself but he WILL stand up for his friends!

Rosalyn: ready to throw down immediately

21. Your OC’s neighbor is blasting loud music in the middle of the night. How do they react?

derick: pull the pillow over his head to drown it out

rosalyn: Confrontation TimeTM

22. How does your OC react to cheesy pick-up lines? Would they ever use one?

Derick: blushes, flustered and doesnt know how to respond. just a lot of stuttering. it would take a LOT for him to ever feel comfortable actually using a pick up line.

Rosalyn: “are you flirting with me?” - she wouldnt waste time, she;d just get straight to the point with “I like you, wanna do this thing?”

23. Would your OC ever misuse a swivel chair or a chair with wheels?

Both: absolutely

24. Has your OC ever tried to do something with good intentions but it all went awry?

Derick: story of his life

Rosalyn: pretty much every time she tries to give advice or give a compliment

25. Has your OC ever ignored a problem hoping that it would go away on its own? If so, what was it & did it work?

Derick: always, and no

Rosalyn: she usually faces problems head-on

26. Your OC comes across an abstract painting! Do they try to decipher a deeper meaning from it or do they just see some blobs and lines?

Derick: blobs, but the blobs make him feel something

Rosalyn: doesnt like the blobs

27. If your OC was a Pokemon trainer, what pokemon would they have in their party? Would they prefer battling or contests?

Derick: whatever pokemon he comes across first - he cant get rid of them just because theyre weaker! thats mean!

rosalyn: i like the idea that her party is 100% geodudes

28. Even if your OC doesn’t play video games, what do you think their favorite game/series would be?

derick: stardew valley

rosalyn: bioshock/Doom

29. If your OC was going to be in an animated movie or show, who would you want to be their voice actor?

derick would need someone with a slightly higher voice, soft but excitable, always sounds slightly panicky

rosalyn would need someone with a slightly lower, more serious voice, where everything she says is “stated” rather than “explained” or “questioned” or “asked’.

30. Your OC spends an hour looking for something only to realize it was in their hand the entire time. What’s their response?

Derick: feels silly, hopes no one saw him

Rosalyn: huffs, but moves on

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themoneybuff-blog · 5 years

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Hitting a Wall: What to Do When It Feels Like You're Not Making Financial Progress

Tell me if this sounds familiar. Youre in reasonably good financial shape. You probably have an emergency fund of some kind. Youre almost definitely not carrying any high-interest debts you might have a student loan or a mortgage, but nothing overwhelming. Youre probably contributing at least a little to retirement. Things are good. Yet theres still this overwhelming sense that youre just running in place. Things might be on solid ground, but youre not really building the foundation for the things you hope to have in life someday. Youre just running in place, one day after the next. Life is comfortable but its not going anywhere. You have some dreams, but they feel just as distant as they did years ago they might be negligibly closer, but thats all. Your life really doesnt seem any better than it did a few years ago, except that youre a few years older. Is this it? Is the American dream just a treadmill with a pretty picture on the wall in front of it? I want more out of life than that. Many of my friends do. Im guessing you do, too. Yet that sense of running in place and never making real progress is a very common thing. How does a person get out of that rut? For me, there are several techniques that I use to make sure I dont feel like Im just running in place with my financial progress. Here are six strategies that have worked really well for me over the years. Strategy #1: Reassess Your Goals If your life feels like youre just running in place, what are you running for? What are you running from? Often, that sense of just running in place or of hitting a wall comes when youve got a big goal youve been working towards and youve either achieved that goal in part or in full or else that goal is so far off in the future that it doesnt seem to be a real part of your day to day life. Lets say that your big goal has been to repay some or all of your debts. Youve managed to achieve it youre free from credit card debt. You have a lot of good financial habits that youre continuing to follow but now the extra money feels rather purposeless. Its tempting to just start splurging, but that feels wasteful, so you just kind of run in place and money builds up in your checking account. (I have a friend who is in this exact position at the moment and this post is in part written with him in mind.) Maybe you do have a big goal, like retiring at age 50 or 55 with a healthy annual income from your retirement savings. The only catch is that youre 32 and that goal seems like a lifetime away. You started when you were 28 and that seems almost forever in the past and you have far more ground to cover ahead of you than youve already covered. That mountain in the distance looks just as far away as it ever has. There are many variations on these stories and they all lead to that sense of plateauing, of no longer making meaningful progress toward any goal even though your tactics are still good and you havent really changed them. Often, the problem isnt your tactics, but your goal. When you achieve a significant goal in life, theres a sense of accomplishment, but then quickly thereafter theres a sense of nothing. You have a lot of good tactics in place for reaching the goal you just achieved, but now it feels aimless and empty. If youre in that situation, spend some time seriously thinking about whats next in your life. What do you want to do in the future? Maybe you want to change careers. Maybe you want to start a business. Maybe you want to retire early. Maybe you want to get your kids through college with minimal or no student loans. If youre without a goal, set one. The nice thing about big-long term financial goals is that, in the early stages, theyre usually really flexible. They center around either paying off debts or saving money somewhere. That means that you can decide, in a few years, to change your goal radically and youre usually in good shape for whatever your new goal is. So dont worry about the possibility of wanting a different goal in the future. Instead, worry about choosing a meaningful goal right now. What speaks to you? Make that your big goal and use that initial enthusiasm push you along for a while. Not only will it feel fresh and new, youll find that your initial progress feels quite big, too. What if youre in the other bucket and you do have a long-term goal but it seems incredibly far off in the future and your regular progress feels slow? First of all, do a gut check and make sure that you still really want this goal. Visualize your life at the point where this goal will be achieved. Does that vision really excite you still? Or is it interesting, but not something that makes you feel a little tingly? If you still find it exciting, indulge in visualizing that big goal regularly. This helps keep the goal feeling lively and meaningful. For example, the exciting vision in my life is Sarah and I effectively retiring about the time our youngest son finishes his schooling. For the first couple of years, we are going to do a lot of touring around the United States, visiting tons of national parks and significant state parks and national monuments and weird roadside attractions and the like and simply seeing America, just the two of us, like we did when we were dating and in the early years of marriage before a flood of kids made that kind of thing much more difficult. Except, this time, we arent worried about a career or about jobs or anything and we still have our health and many years ahead of us. That, for me, is the dream. Thats the big vision. If you dont find it exciting, spend some time soul searching until you find that goal that seems exciting, then indulge in regular visualization of that goal. Again, its that regular visualization of something you deeply want that makes a huge difference in terms of making your forward progress seem meaningful. In other words, if you really are on a treadmill, make sure that picture in front of you is as beautiful and engaging as possible so you dont notice the treadmill as much. Strategy #2: Change Your Focus One reason why people start to feel like theyre stuck in a rut is that theyre looking at a particular way of measuring their forward progress that isnt showing them the actual benefits of their effort. A great example of this is when you focus on the standard of living of your day to day life when youre aiming at a big financial goal. You might feel like youve been working hard forever, but nothing is changing and nothing is going to change for a long time. Youre still working at a demanding job. Your standard of living is roughly the same as it has been for a while. Nothing seems to be changing in your life, but youre still working really hard. In those situations, it can be really valuable to look frequently at a different metric, a different way of examining your life and charting your progress. For example, rather than thinking about your day to day life, keep your eyes on a number like your net worth or your overall retirement balance. Keep track of those numbers over time and compare your current number to earlier ones. In my own life, I look at both of those numbers fairly often when Im feeling like Im running in place, and then I dont look at them much at all when I feel good about things. Seeing the growth in my net worth and in my retirement savings makes me feel really good about my financial progress, even if my day to day life feels unchanged. In truth, my daily standard of living hasnt changed much at all in the last decade, so if I looked at that, I would feel like Im not headed in a great direction. However, when I look at my retirement accounts, Sarahs retirement accounts, and our childrens 529 accounts, its pretty hard to miss the immense progress on all fronts. Things like helping our children with their education have gone from wistful dreams to mortal locks. Things like trying to retire in our early fifties (or so) isnt a dream at all, its more like an inevitable conclusion (assuming thats what we choose to do at that point). My day to day life is a bad metric for what my future holds. I only feel disheartened when I look at my day to day life as the main metric for success. The thing I need to remember is that my big life goals involve being very busy and almost overwhelmed at this point in my life and having many parts of my life be simple and automatic is part of my biggest life ambitions. I want to raise three children to be solid citizens in the world (which Im doing now) and then when theyre on their own, enjoy the rest of my life with Sarah in a very low stress environment (which Im actively preparing for). So, my metric for seeing whether or not Im successful at those endeavors isnt the quality of or change in my day to day life. If Im looking at that, then Im going to feel like Im running in place. What I need to look at instead is the quality of my relationship with my children and my wife, how frequently I put aside time and energy to listen to them and genuinely try to understand them and guide my children in a positive way, and my savings progress toward the big events coming down the road. Those things are in good shape and theyre aiming in a very positive direction, even if my day to day life doesnt seem to be radically impacted. The changes are there, but theyre subtle, and I have to know where to look. Remember, when you look at a beautiful house, you usually dont see the foundation right away. If youre improving your foundation, then measure the foundation, not the house. Strategy #3: Look for the Things That Dont Matter One common element of feeling like youre hitting a wall and not making any progress is that youre, in fact, not actually making any progress. If you take a peek at other indicators like account balances and net worth and find that its not growing very fast at all, then your money is going toward things that arent your goals and youre making extremely slow progress (if any) toward your financial goals. The Simple Dollar is loaded with advice on how to handle this situation, but theres really one single piece of advice that stands above all else: What are you spending money on thats unimportant to you? Whatever that is, cut it down to the bare minimum. The common reaction that many people have is to reflexively say that everything they spend money on is important, but thats very, very rarely true. Most of us spend at least some of our money on things that are really unimportant in the big scheme of our lives. Instead, if youre feeling like this, then its time to run through all of your expenditures with a fine toothed comb and ask yourself whether or not this item is really, really important to you and, if its not, look for ways to cut that spending to a bare minimum. Is your car insurance vitally important to you? Well, you have to have it, but very few people are going to have deep personal feelings about their auto insurance policy. Shop around and get a cheaper rate, then start funneling that savings straight into your long term goals. Is your cell phone plan vitally important to you? Many people may need or really want some form of cell phone plan, but many people are on a plan thats overkill for what they actually use. Look at what you actually use, then shop around for a plan that matches that, and start funneling the savings straight into your long term goals. Is the brand of ketchup you buy vitally important to you? Maybe if youre a ketchup connoisseur, but for the vast majority of people, ketchup is ketchup. Start buying ketchup and all of the other things that arent vitally important to you in store brand form, and channel those savings straight toward your long term goals. Do this with everything you spend money on. Stop spending your money and thus the time and energy and effort that went into earning it on things you dont really care about and start channeling it toward stuff that you do care about. Youll find that you start moving toward big goals far more rapidly. Strategy #4: Automate Your Good Financial Moves in an Aggressive Way A big part of strategy #3 is about channeling the found money in your life toward your big financial goals. This sounds good on paper, but when you have some cash in your checking account, it might not be on top of your mind to put that money toward retirement or college savings or whatever. Thats where automation comes in. When youve cut your spending in some notable fashion, you should set up an automatic transfer of that exact amount you cut toward a big goal that you have. Did you cut your monthly cell phone plan by $20? Add $20 per month to your automatic contribution to your Roth IRA. Did you save $60 a year by changing auto insurance policies? Bump up your retirement savings at work by $5 a month. Did you manage to trim $50 a month from your grocery and household supplies spending by switching to mostly store brands? Schedule an automatic extra payment on one of your debts for you guessed it $50 a month. Did you find some other way to save $10 a week? Set up an automatic $10 weekly transfer from your checking to your savings to start building up an emergency fund, so the next car breakdown doesnt catch you off guard. Since you know how those cuts were made, doing something else with the savings shouldnt affect your standard of living one iota outside of those specific changes. Meanwhile, youre now making automatic progress toward whatever your goal might be. That progress will become apparent over time if youre looking at the right metrics (see Strategy #2). Youll see your debts declining a little faster. Youll see your retirement savings growing a little faster. Youll stop plateauing and start heading toward your goals again. Strategy #5: Focus on the Meaning: What Do Your Contributions Actually Represent? Often, when were working toward a big financial goal, the little steps we take along the way can feel really insignificant and meaningful. What is a step when youre running a marathon? Its one of tens of thousands of other steps, right? Yet each of those steps requires some effort. Each of those steps requires some sacrifice. If youre putting $100 into retirement savings, thats $100 that youre not enjoying in ones daily life. Thats a choice and a sacrifice, and its one that many people start to struggle with. Its an even more difficult choice when its hard to tangibly see what the $100 toward a big financial goal represents. $100 might be a great dinner with my wife and a movie together and maybe a stop at a bookstore where we each pick out a book. What is $100 toward retirement? Its hard to see it. For me, I find that there is a great deal of value in seeing what those individual steps represent. For me, what I have found a great deal of value in doing is breaking down my cost of living into how much that is per day and using that as a measuring stick I call it a day of freedom. Lets say my annual living expenses are $36,500 per year. Thats just a convenient number to make this easy to understand. If I translate that into a day, that means that every $100 I have in retirement represents roughly a day of freedom from having to work. Its a day I can sleep in. Its a day I can rise and stretch and not have to think about work unless I want to keep working on a project. Its a day I can fill with leisure if I choose. Its a day where I can chase down whatever passion is on my mind. I can go on a long walk or whatever it is that I want to do. Its just a day of complete freedom. Its a complete day of freedom for Sarah, too; we might spend it together, or we might each do our own thing. Every $100 I put into retirement savings represents a day of complete freedom like that. Even better, every time I put in $100, its an extra day on the front end of retirement, meaning a day when Im as physically and mentally healthy as Im going to be. When I look at my $100 contribution to retirement that way, things start to reshape themselves. I could spend $100 on an exorbitant date with Sarah, or we could have a modest dinner at home, cuddle up and watch a Netflix movie, and go on a nighttime walk hand in hand, and then that $100 goes into retirement and buys us a day of freedom later. Naturally, there are some things and some experiences where its pretty sweet to have them right now, but that threshold gets a lot higher when I see it gobbling up days of freedom from my life. Those are beautiful and valuable and precious. You can do that kind of translation with almost any goal that you have. Retirement makes it really easy, but you can look at college savings as basically opening opportunities for your kids. You can look at debt freedom as lower bills and more opportunities for you. Just divide it up into pieces that are really meaningful for you for me, the thought of a day of freedom is really powerful, so I use it a lot. $100 in retirement savings buys me a day of freedom, and each and every $100 contribution moves those days of freedom ever closer to today. Eventually, my life moving forward and those days building backward are going to meet up, and every single bit of savings shrinks that gap. Strategy #6: Raise Your Income This final strategy is a little different because its not just a switch that most of us can easily flip in our lives, or else wed do it. Raising your income usually requires a lot of effort within your career or entrepreneurial path, a career switch, or a second job or side gig, and all of those are challenging and require effort and planning. However, if you want a way to sustainably get out of your financial slog, jumpstarting your income (and directing that increase to your financial goals) is a guaranteed way to do it. So, how is this relevant and actionable? Simply put, you can simply choose to make improving your income into a short-term or medium-term goal thats part of your long-term financial goals. Your goal might be to retire early, but the thing you can really work on right now on the way to that goal is setting yourself up for more earnings. For example, if you think that the best next step to earning more for you is to get a raise or a promotion at work, talk to your boss about a concrete plan with clear steps that you can follow to take you to that goal. That plan becomes your medium-term goal; the individual steps are short-term goals. If you want to start a side business, write up a business plan (short-term goal) and execute that plan (medium-term goal) by following all of the steps (a bunch of short-term goals). If you want to launch a new career, figure out what your path looks like from where youre at to that new career path (short-term goal) and start following that path (medium-term goal) by getting the education you need (medium-term) a class at a time (short-term) and setting yourself up to dive into that new path with success. If you want to jump to a new job in your career path, figure out what you need to have on your resume to make that leap (short-term task) and make building that resume your goal (medium-term goal). Each step in that process is a short-term goal that you can work on at your current job or in the evenings. In short, you turn income growth into a medium-term goal, and the steps to getting there into short-term goals, as part of your long-term financial goals. Those steps arent guarantees of more money nothing ever is. However, those steps are all about you controlling the part of the process that you can actually control, which is your actions, thoughts, and behavior. You do your part and good things will typically follow. Final Thoughts When you feel like youre stuck in place with your financial progress, there are many potential causes and youll often find that more than one of them apply to you. You might not have a compelling long term vision at all. You might be focused on the wrong measurement of success. You might be misusing your resources and wasting your efforts. You might not be appreciative of the usefulness of each step and what it really means. Or, you might just need some tangible short term and medium term goals. Whatever the case may be, there are ways to break through this wall and either start making fresh financial progress or recognize that youre actually making a lot more progress than you thought. In either case, your path forward becomes illuminated in a whole new way. Good luck! Read more by Trent Hamm: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/hitting-a-wall-what-to-do-when-it-feels-like-youre-not-making-financial-progress/

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weannoyingbouquetgalaxy-blog1 · 6 years

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i can’t afford car insurance anymore

"i can't afford car insurance anymore

i can't afford car insurance anymore

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How much will it cost per month to pay for gas fees, and auto insurance in Toronto?""

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Best life insurance...?

Best life insurance What is the Best life insurance company

How can i get cheaper insurance?

im looking to buy a car soon. my parents both have vehicles and im a 18 yr old male with a g2 so my insurance on any car with be well over $3000 a year. i was just wondering if theres any loopholes/tricks to make insurance cheaper. i know my buddys dad opened up a business just to put a car under the business name so he wouldnt be charged as a primary driver.

i can't afford car insurance anymore

What is the best insurance to buy for maternity care?

My husband and I had tricare but he is out of the military now, so we are looking for good insurance as we are currently ttc. Thanks!""

Car crash damage my insurance rights?

my 2009 vauxhall insignia was hit from behind sitting at a car park space in a supermarket,there is substantial amount of damage to the right hand arch right above the back wheel,the back bumper is also broken,it was hit that hard it was pushed onto the car park space in front of it,i believe what saved it from any further damage was the driver of the other car hit the wheel of my car which i guess cushioned the blow.i have went today and got estimates for the repair which is in the region of 2500 pounds though could be more as they have to put it on some sort of machine to see if the wheel alignment is of,the repair shops say what they will do is cut the arch out and put a new arch in and spray it but no matter what its never going to be the same.the reason they do it like this is because the whole back of my car runs to the front without any splits. Im not happy about this being done like this as this car today is worth around 10,000 pounds which i pay for and dont want it patched up,i would prefer if the other guys insurance wrote it off so that i can get an original car which i first had,is there anyway i can get this to be wrote of and claim it of the guys insurance,i have heard of depreciation money if my car has been hit but this is still not going to compensate me for my car being patched up. thanks""

How much would the average commercial insurance quote be for a warehouse?

I am doing a project for school, creating a fake business plan for an online grocer that we are creating in Boston (again, fake grocer). As part of the business plan, we must include miscelleneous costs, including Insurance. Any idea? (180,000 sq ft facility)""

Motorcycle Insurance question?

I recently bought a motorcycle and i'm just about to buy insurance but i am abit confused, I'm thinking of getting the Third party fire & theft insurance, which means i wont get no claim if I crash my bike but what if the other drive is at fault? Does their insurance cover my damage or what? thank you""

Im having a baby.. now i need insurance.. what am i able to do?

Im having a baby.. now i need insurance.. what am i able to do? Shes about a month along, andwe donthave insurance tohelp us have it.. what can i do? Can i still get it or do they see that as priorissue andsayno.. We need help bringing it intobthe world..butwere lostat the moment.""

350z insurance cost tx 16year old?

how much is insurance for a 2006 350z for a 16 year old first car in texas?

Any Car insurance in boston open past 5pm?

any Car insurance in boston open past 5pm

How soon do I need to insure a new car.?

We are going to purchase a car next Sunday from a private party. How soon do I need to get coverage on it? I already have coverage on my other cars. I'm just worried if it gets stolen/damaged before I can get it covered. We aren't 100% sure we want the vehicle so I don't want to cover something that's not in our name yet. Would it still be covered by the previous owner for awhile? Thanks in Advance!

""If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""

If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""

How much do you usually pay when you first get car insurance?

just got an auto insurance plan that's 100/month. went in to fill out papers &payed a $120 down payment. but my mom is now telling me i should be getting a bill for $480 in the mail soon. because the premium is $600 and i have to pay the rest? but i thought that's what the down payment was for. or was that just a down payment for a down payment? lol. i'm not really sure how it works, but i'm wondering if my mom is just saying that so i don't spend all my money, or if i'm actually going to get a bill for that much. anyone know? i'm still paying $100/month, so is it normal to have to pay around $600 first?""

Looking for an insurance plan to switch to with good maternity?

I'm getting married in less than a month & will no longer be on my insurance, my husband to be can stay on his till he's 26 however my current job doesn't offer me ...show more""

How much would insurance for a motorcycle cost for a 17 year old?

How much approximately for a 17 yr old with a 250 ninja? what about a 600cc bike? I do not have my drivers license yet, only my permit and I would get a learners permit on my bike. How much do you think it will cost?""

Car insurance for Chevy avalanche? ?

When I turn 17 I really want to get a used Chevy Avalanche but wanted to know if the insurance will be expensive. Please help! Thanks :)

Insurance and bmv question?

If I have to show insurance to the bmv and they tell me I have to show the insurace at time i got pulled over do they check with the insurance company to see if you really had insurance at that time?

Can I get onto my parents insurance?

I don't have a car yet but i want to buy one in a year... I was wondering if I could join my parents insurance and if yes how much do you think ill have to pay monthly (Progressive) for a '65 Chevy C10 Custom?

Can I get my own auto insurance?

I am 16 years old and about to buy a car. My mother doesn't drive, so she doesn't have auto insurance. Would I be able to get insurance if she doesn't have her license? If so, with what company?""

Which insurance company is father of reinsurer?

i need to know the answer for my interview in an insurance company. also which company is biggest insurance company in world.

How much you pay for car insurance if your in early 20's?

I'm a 21 year old college student. Im going on to my junior year and have just gotten a car. I have always gotten a ride with my friends. I got a quote from Farmers Insurance for $2600 for 6 months full coverage is that normal?

Used Car Insurance/Registration?

I just recently got my license (which was long overdue) and now I'm looking into buying a car from Advantage Auto Sales. My question is regarding the insurance and registration for the car I'm going to be buying. Should I purchase insurance, then put the down payment on the car, and then go register it after I have it in my possession? I've already gotten an insurance quote for one particular car that I was looking it, but I did change my mind due to location issues, but I can't imagine that would change the price up too much considering the car I'm looking at is actually newer than the one I got the quote on. At any rate, what should be my order of operations? 1. Insurance 2. Car 3. Registration OR 1. Insurance 2. Registration 3. Car Sorry if I'm being confusing. I would like to get all of this handled in one swoop so I'm not doing a whole lot of waiting around for weeks while everything gets handled. I live in Peoria, IL. In an related (but optional) question, how does a 2004 Chevrolet Malibu LS Sedan sound? Reliable or no?""

Around how much will car insurance be for me?

hi, im going to get an rsx soon, im 19 in california, and i was wondering how much insurance would be around for me? full coverage would be how much? and the cheaper one is how much? ( dont know name )""

Can anyone tell me about selling insurance as a career?

A friend of the family sales insurance through State Farm. He has offered to mentor me and show me the ropes in the insurance business. I know absalutly nothing about insuarance. Is ita good career? Is it difficult to do? How much money do you make? Im in California. thanks

I own a car and am selling it to a guy. He is the only driver. He refuses to get insurance.?

I have given him 3 months to get insurance, but he hasnt gotten it yet. I have kept the vehicle on my insurance until he gets it, but he still hasnt gotten it. And now he is complaining that I should stop insuring it so that he doesnt have to reimburse me for it. My questions are: What would happen if i dropped the insurance and he got pulled over or in a wreck? Who would be responsible, me or him? Could my rates be raised? Could I personally get into trouble with the law for allowing an uninsured driver drive an uninsured car that I own? We're in the process of getting a temporary title for him so that I won't be responsible, but in the meantime I need to know the consequences. I live in Ohio.""

Motorcycle insurance for a 20 yr old?

i just got a 2004 ninja zx10r, any one know of a place that has motorcycle insurance for cheap??""

How much would car insurance be for me?

I finished driving school I average a 3.4 GPA I will drive a owned 07 Chevy impala Parents have good driving record. I'm 15 years old I live in Texas How much would car insurance be for me? It doesn't have to be exact i just want to get an idea of how much. Thank You

Would your car insurance go up if you bump into someone else?

I was pulling off at a junction and I was looking to the right to see wether there is a car coming but the car infront (baring in mind he started pulling off) he suddenly pushed the ...show more

i can't afford car insurance anymore

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/beazley-insurance-quotes-isabella-white/"

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somedaypast-thesunset · 7 years

Text

yesterday we did shrooms.

our friend was the ring leader and mixed 9 grams of it in chocolate and we all split it. im usually okay with shrooms and actually sadly took them enough last summer so i felt calm - usually i just have a very mellow empty headed high.

but this was not good and i guess it was ‘better’ that we all experienced not good. like i knew early on it was going the wrong way and suddenly we just wanted it to be over. it was a very intense trip with audio and visual hallucinations but not like full on break from reality - just warping faces and discoloration and hearing talking when there was none.

he did not handle this well at all. i feel both me and our friend have a lot of mental issues and have struggled a lot so it was a bit easier for us to handle but i think i handled it the absolute best because i didnt feel traumatized by it when they did. i mean it was very terrible. but ive done worse sober with my own mind in terms of anxiety and shit and the hallucinations i knew were drug induced. no matter what i questioned i reminded myself it was the drugs. i had no grasp on reality, it was the drugs and it would eventually be over. i really just kind of sat it out.

he took it a lot dfferently and it sat on him in relation to the world around him. like he had become upset but unable to express why he was upset that essentilly what he was feeling was something i had felt sober. like his anxiety and neediness and wanting someone to help and feeling overwhelmed - that’s kind of me on the regular. but being able to feel it himself and see it from this perspective i feel like he could see how hard it actually is. it wasnt like anyone was physically ill. everyone was fine and operating and breathing but mentally it was a complete breakdown. like they were thankful -to come back-. as if we would have lost our minds forever. but i know it’s hard to lose your mind forever, it takes a lot of damage and if i was able to rationalize despite it all, i knew eventually they’d come back.

he was also very very anxious about being upset in front of me because thats not really him. and at one point he was crying, upset about i dont even know and mumbling about james randi. i think he had like pre conceived notions that i might react differently to seeing him upset because he tries really hard to create the illusion of manly man, but on like a subconcious level. i think he thought it would be weakness or something but i just kissed him and everything settled a bit for awhile.

but the mental breakdown was so bad that it took me a really long time to make food. like i was the first one to be able to moderately operate and i guess thats because im used to that sort of mental breakdown state. like it wasnt as if my drugs were weaker - i was definitely totally fucked up and not well. if i was anywhere but a couch with a blanket - dead in the water. but as soon as the worst of the hallucination subsided and i was able to grasp reality for longer than a couple of seconds, i really tried to take control of my mind and body. i wanted it to be over and i could really not operate well and if you would have put a camera on me in this kitchen it would have been frantic pacing and spinning in circles trying to make chicken nuggets and pizza.

as i was making the food i went downstairs to check on them and he was laying on the floor with our friend but he suddenly started freaking out at me very seriously and telling me he needs mental help. to me, it’s semi-normal for him to do this. sometimes he changes moods very quickly and you cant question the shift or it escalates it. if you can get him to see hes exaggerating his own thoughts with something more light hearted, he lets it go. but to our friend, he had never seen this side of him. he kept whining about needing a movie on tv but he was doing nothing to help himself with a laptop in the room etc. it was a brief but intense 2 minutes of very serious freking out about needing “mental help” and i casually mentioned how hes “disturbing” our friend which helped switch him to the realization that he wasnt actually alone.

i finished the food and he asked to tae a nap upstairs which was really just restless anxiety but i felt like .. a much different vibe or shift from him. it wasnt embarassment but like maybe a realization that im not “crazy” and being in mental chaos is hard. both of them were extremely thankful about the food and understood on a deep level how hard it was to mke it - but again, no one was physically sick. everyone could operate but mentally they were gone. so its just really hard to imagine how hard it could be to make food unless you experience if yourself and they did and they appreciated it.

he was very affectionate towards me after, wanting to sit together and hug me and touching me. he asked me a few times if iwas okay and honestly, i was and i am. it was a really easy mental break for me because i knew it was drug induced. i explained it was little sober me curled in a ball inside and just terrified and waiting it out. cuz its not fun to experience that. im surprised i didnt cry but again i knew it was the drugs. maybe im the best person for a bad trip. i took care of myself and two other people.

my friend made a comment about us being “boyfriend and girlfriend” i repeated what he usually says - he’s not my boyfriend. so he directly asked him - “youre not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore?” and he replied “look we already established i live in my own reality and thats all that matters”

whch really he was referring to a comment i made the day before about how he kind of just lived in his own reality where he wont “define” us having a relationship but literally everyone else who knows him and i does because we do in fact by definition have a romantic relationship. so he can think we dont but we definitely do.

hes very very anxious and passive aggressive about my eviction. which is funny to me because i think its a projection of like.. knowing he probably really wants me but this is a bad situation. like its not a healthy relationship standard to now live together because i was evicted. theres no want or desire there; just necessity. so i get it; but he cant say these things. that makes him committed and obligated to the idea of a full scale long term relationship. he cant be alone and be himself with a connection.

i told him i had an opportunity to live in a nearby bussable city. he commented that itd be a long way to walk but it wouldnt matter - hes going away in the summer (by going away he means the idea of living in his truck). it was a double shot - not only would i have less access to him; it wouldnt matter to him because he’s/he’d just leave anyways.

its a bit upsetting that he would focus on our “non existant” relationship - he drives enough it doesnt seem that big of a deal to live a bit further and i dont have a lot of options at the moment. like this is upsetting for me too but im trying to stay the course. ike its a bump in the road of my recovery; it’s not a step backwards, its a consquence of my actions before and it doesnt define what im doing right now. right now i feel 50 - 70% equipped to handle this. its not going to be fun or easy but itll really be for the best all around. like being in this apartment is not healthy for me.

and i have to live my own life. like i feel at ease with the idea that were not creating a real life together so im kindof moving on and he might have to make effort to keep it going. if he doesnt, well -- sucks, but what more can i do? sorry for not living up to your expectations?

i want to live with him but at the same time, right now, i dont. maybe in a few more months when he figures things out a bit more. not that i have anything figured out but as my mind has cleared, ive begun to have time to think on what i know and believe and want. ive built some confidence in myself that i might know whats best for me. not that i know everything, but i should trust that i know when it best to listen to someone else too. and i should trust when i know that someone elses opinion might not matter.

so i know i want a life partner. i know i want to create things - maybe grow or cook, something stress free. i know i want to help a community thrive and grow things within local areas. i’m tired of doing what everyone else wantsme to do; it’s exhausting and suffocating and leads to constant mental breaks. i just want to be me and being me involves a partner.

i dont want to live with his mother. its very suffocating to be around his mother who places her own misguided expectations on you as well. she told me to get a job at mcdonalds - whch is fair, but what happens when i give up? because i know its what i dont want? why stay in terrible situations? why stay n something you dont want? what i want a majority of the time is to lay down and give up. i’d like the incentive not to and mcdonalds is not it.

but she doesnt understand that. she doesnt get that like this shroom trip, a lot of my daily coping is within life or death. i have to choose life. i have to choose and grasp reality regularly when i’d rather give in to it all. so when you lay that blanket on ‘get a job at mcdonalds’, it’s just not the rght choice. it seems stupid, but its not the right choice.

this week i will amazingly work four days. im nervous but looking forward to it and looking forward to it solving some of my problems.

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