#the way she is written jesus CHRIST | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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truly like at any time in any story different elements will be prioritized or somewhat sacrificed for the success of another element / a weakness in one regard could be regarded as a worthwhile tradeoff or otherwise largely beside the point, and billions is so About its themes of like these continual conflicts between people and the ways they can wield power and the reasons that they do so. and characterization isn't prioritized ahead of that, and certainly sometimes it has to be that a strong or even particularly distinct sense of [a character] is weakened/sacrificed for the sake of Conflict Plot, but even as i'm aware that it's being here for the "wrong" reason to be here for characters in their own right, it's like, i think still certainly the theoretical ideal is for less of noticeable casting [characterization] aside and sometimes by "noticeable" it's also certainly like cmon and was that even worth it. and i mean, plenty of people Watch Billions Wrong. all the fans who think the show to them is "isn't axe cool." like, the answer is: no. and the show was never actually Just About Him As Some Character b/c, of course in the end no character is here to get like, an ideal emotional conclusion as their eventual resolution as beloved characters, the only resolution out here is how someone is either driven out or chooses to leave Because Of The Continual Conflict theme.

but anyways this is about further and hopefully all the more in depth / accurate words about how it's like "good god rian is thus far such a failure at having created a character" lmfao it is egregious. hypothetically if they just so happened to switch gears in season 7 and seem to actually create that sense of a distinct individual whose presence matters for being that distinct individual, great i guess. thanks for the season and a half of Not That, and that despite holding out for the end of season 6, it's now like, i cannot muster any investment in whatever this is, save for how we as the audience can be provided character material from taylor instead through any of these interactions. it's unfortunately similar to my arc back in season 4 of a trial period re: assessing wendy's character material with an effort to care, finding it all over the place and wendy's pretty terrible to people in general and obviously taylor in particular often enough, relevant here, which like godspeed i mean but not in a Fun To Dislike way even, and to me she's also not that fun to like, and then i'm most interested when her interactions w/taylor give us more material / information about them, so. ya hate to have those similarities.

anyways, i think a litmus test of feeling out how strongly there is A Sense of Character in material is whether it feels like what people are doing, or more especially, Saying, couldn't be swapped over to another character. like whether it feels like what someone has said couldn't have instead been said by someone else / feels recognizable and feels like it lends relevance to that particular character's presence in the specific scene or like, entire work. and that can just be like, Voice, but just more generally it's ofc like, overall personality, what we understand about this character's tendencies and motivations. and by and large with rian even when she's Doing Something it's her providing plot exposition / an impetus for taylor's subplot, and wherein especially in the business realm of like "oh btw here's a business opportunity that the tmc subplot will be centered around this episodeeee" that's rarely that Character Based. any given employee could provide it, and it's only become Less characterful when rian is the only employee with dialogue who's not winston, such that [idk? quant stuff?] is no longer a reason for rian (or winston) to be the particular person to pitch whatever business move. unspecified undialogued beloved tmc employee todd (i made that up) could be the one behind any and every episode's business plan. even if you believe rian gets a lot of them b/c she's just so talented (which, despite what billions creators say, i'm never thinking abt how amazingly smart everyone on the show must be, and this never interferes w/my understanding of what's going on. and i don't think we are operating from the same ideas re: Intelligence anyways (such as, a quantifiable metric that can be meaningfully compared as superior/inferior between individuals, even if you modify this concept like "well there are many different kinds :)" im sure this will come up again) that theoretical talent doesn't seem to be relevant to her as a character. other employees are also talented and get to pitch things to their boss. taylor does not seem to decide rian is [so literally them] on such a basis alone.

which. i mean we'll surely come back to it later too, but that rian's material in 5x05 through 5x07 was most Quant Duo and was prior to the entire thing that now seems to be her main thing, namely, taylor deciding she's [so literally them], and was As or More distinctly characterful than anything since, when she was also Supposedly getting more [mere plot device / character who doesn't yet truly matter] treatment and merely getting scenes about a dynamic with winston, which were interactions that did serve to elevate her personality. and then in 5x08, being annoyed with taylor also certainly elevates her personality, somewhat true in the "okay, brewing conflict ig" thread since, but where rian then changing her mind completely like haha well alright, if you're projecting, i guess i Will be all in on this job i plan to walk out of soon and be chill about having nothing going on outside work such that i may as well not leave the office and we'd better hope that each other's company is all the social enrichment we could possibly need, end remote work, time to get back to the office or how will we ever go for a walk or have a chitchat….anyways. all her interactions accepting her status as taylor's mirror / continuing that dynamic have much more by and large seemed to diminish / tamp down / opposite of elevate: lower her character. this could be at all on purpose, but it's not enjoyable in [rian's character material]'s own right. it's also not exactly fun and likable that most (or arguably all) of rian's interactions with winston are using and bullying him, but it's again more elevated and actually distinct at all. i'll be frustrated if it never goes anywhere like "being commented on, questioned, criticized, analyzed in the material itself" b/c it'll be pretty hollow otherwise, but it's still the most characterful thing she's got going on imo

already wearied by writing this out lmfao it's just not enjoyable. this funeral dirge. it's Not That Characterful when even in season 6 when taylor has two dialogue capable employees, anything rian puts forth could be pitched by winston, like it could've been sara, or even mafee sometimes, or todd from offscreen. winston not being allowed to operate even as The Default Quant seems more about the not so distinct character trait that rian is simply not winston, who is [autistic character] with it, and the writing is such that that means he's not allowed to even exposit when we can help it, and even "well, it's mathy?" can go to rian now. the gesture at "oh uh winston's thing is The Ruthless Capitalism Counterpoints" is unconvincing re His character when that's never been relevant before, or since, and indeed it seems like rian's just riffing making up some shit based on the very little info she has about him, b/c what she really cares about is it'd be funny to keep him around and antagonize him, and the only person who needs convincing of this is wendy, who also knows nothing about winston, and likewise also only cares about negatively judging his je ne sais quoi and making up shit about that b/c she can. even a gesture at "ohh rian's just so Insightful with True Understanding(tm) versus winston" is not really supported when mase carb exists b/c winston was the one person telling taylor to go for the oil divestment plan when this wasn't even merely about saying "yes the math alone tells me i can reassure you" and if he'd also been like "yeah fuck any ethics re divestment when we can make more money" he could've agreed with sara questioning it or quitting over it. he's also a markedly insightful character, like how he's also markedly Not aggressive or egotistical despite instead interpreting him otherwise….more about this later too possibly lol. it's Insightful even as quant kid 2 to know the only thing axe cap has going for it is taylor; to at all successfully adapt his approach For taylor after a very limited and skewed interaction w/them; to realize That's Something You'd Pitch An Investor; to suspect front running / other interference (wherein even if he didn't send an email, seems like The Problem may be not knowing if he'd be listened to and the Solution more encouragement/support, instead of being smacked down all the harder for sharing that he was in fact suspicious); to be the one person with a winning fight night bet; to understand why taylor's acting a particular way b/c of how they feel whether to support them or criticize them accurately enough that they even listen; that in general he seems to Get taylor as much or even more than the people they have relationships with that we get to see, or really, Anyone else; that he's even ahead of the curve on liking rian despite also being bothered by her as a potential replacement. i don't think his Actual Insightfulness is a complete accident on the writing's part, nor are characters maybe not nonzero times meant to be cluelessly wrong about winston, but. you could give him more of an arc or let him speak more ever. and that grievance aside, again, the fact that rian gets to be The Quant Who Talks / Exposits / Is Talked To so much more than winston is like, he Could be doing this, he's just banished for autistacity really, which does not make this So Characterful for rian.

and as inspired this post, rian helping taylor with anti axe conspiracies at the end of season 5 also doesn't feel like other tmc characters couldn't have been swapped in. we know wendy doesn't take winston seriously, and maybe for some reason she'd be suspicious of winston claiming whatever like moral qualms about taylor's supposed goings on, but i think that very very easily could've instead been winston simply supposedly letting something slip, and wendy immediately believing he's so Stupid as to do something like that, and not questioning it at all; she'd come up with Any [ascribing any negative quality to winston] on the spot to explain anything and not question it. winston, who also has no more loyalty to axe than rian does and probably already has more to taylor, is a great secret weapon for how Ignored he is, wherein it's really like, i don't even think if winston Had been the one who helped such that wendy even Realized after the fact and flipped him off b/c she's pissed whenever she realizes violating hipaa and enabling axe backfired, that she or anyone else would ever pay more attention to winston or believe him more capable or even theoretically valuable than they already do (not). i can say that, sure, maybe at this point after mafee's ditching the tmc niche b/c he just wants to hang out with dollar bill so bad, and is about to ditch taylor entirely b/c he just wants to hang out with dollar bill so bad and what's the point without axe's magic what reason could i possibly have for staying, and just previously fucked over tmc b/c axe said so without even bothering to tell taylor himself asap. but then truly there's also lauren here who like, if they don't trust her enough as their gf to at least not tell on them if they shared that plan with her, probably they could've just broken up sooner. wendy certainly regards lauren as capable and worth paying attention to, lauren is certainly capable of helping as employee and cohort here. the fact it's easier to believe that yeah, rian might for real instead choose to tell on taylor, does not then make this feel so "yep makes sense why rian's the character getting this role / moving the plot in this way." and the fact that taylor's material is commented on b/c they air their thoughts/feelings by whatever they're telling rian as mentorish advice is not really about rian being peak characterful there either, as though only she could've gone :I Uh Ok abt taylor saying whatever at any point.

even rian's input in turn is just all over the place when like, despite that one nyt guy's insistence she's not Taylor's Conscience or something when one week she's criticizing like "wow but dick move though, even if it's successful business" and another she's criticizing them like "yeah it's a dick move but it's the successful business one, so do that." and it remains puzzling where these Conflicts are even going, only for it to shake out like oh i guess ever since rian went "sure i was saying you're the boss and i'm the employee and i'll have a personal life, but now i'm like, fuck that personal life lol whatever" in 5x08 because uhhh, she also then expected the boss vs employee thing to go away too and be regarded as a peer? you were only promoted so much, despite taylor regarding her as and saying she is [so literally them], like, fresh out of undergrad and a bit offbeat out here and talented was not what made taylor thee most Very Characterful out here / not what distinguishes and defines them, even if ofc it's relevant….don't know if taylor Had taken the fall in the end of s5 that tmc would be fine with rian suddenly left helming it, compared to taylor doing so for axe cap a season into their introduction. i don't even know why we should believe rian's going to stick around indefinitely at the end of s6, or even if we're supposed to think she is, when last we heard she's willing to have no life outside work but also plans to just walk out and leave once she reaches some relatively low personal finance goal. and that's how you know there's some strong characterization: as so frequently seems to be the case with rian, at best it feels like i'm just kind of guessing at various motivations that Could be meant to explain why she wouldn't have already left. and also by now it's like, i don't have the motivation myself to care to Try to understand her anymore lol

and of course there's The Egregious Nightmare where like yeah yknow if there was one thing about rian i really felt makes her feel like a distinct character, it's: Being A Woman. there's no reason to think prince, who feels entitled to access to a woman's body at any time as a way to obtain his own sexual gratification, would have had any further qualifications to his quest there. "mpc employee" is also relevant there, but the only reason that particularly narrows it down is b/c you only have so many women there who have dialogue, woops. being twentysomething is also relevant to how prince is shit and telling us, as if we didn't already know, that his only conclusion can be his downfall, b/c he's a [central man]. in turn, if rian's just looking for convenient casual sex, the only thing making prince most convenient is you don't even have to leave at any point about it even if probably that would've been a mitigatingly better idea. even if you assume rian would've only had sex with a man, universal taylorsexuality aside, that really does Not narrow it down that much here, even if he needs to also have the capacity for dialogue. unless rian's paul revere line out of nowhere is supposed to be her announcing "i like em twenty, thirty, or two hundred fifty years older than me," and that's also supposed to be character relevant, like, gross. why not victor? ben? pretty make or break in that ep for rian's dynamic with winston to even Potentially include anything genuine, and if she hooked up with him for convenience and after they've spent the whole ep in duo mode and been meeting up outside work, that would have made a world of sense, but apparently if you think so you forget that he's too autistic to not be a sexual nonentity, cue the contrast in how rian reacts to taylor's expressed interest vs winston's back in the day. though i wouldn't necessarily say that her using winston for her benefit in a half dozen ways couldn't extend to casual sex, though even if that was mutually understood to be the sole purpose of such interactions, i can't imagine that this rian who will, in fact, also react to her dropped interest in their Shared interest by deciding that it's hers now, winston's input must have no value compared to her superior ideas, and furthermore she should hurt him with that and punish him for thinking he too gets to walk up to coworkers at a party and say anything, could be trusted to not turn on him likewise even if they get a few rounds out of it. or worse, but that's a whole other, if related, what if

getting distracted now pissed off as well at the seemingly increasingly likelihood they've dumped winston's character for the No Particular Reason they always could have done so, so glad for all the reassurance that dollar bill is back more prominently, and axe, oh and rian as bizarrely turning out to also be a prominent workplace bully consciously similar to the boss, but with a bit of a different style to that

anyways again it's like, what would have changed if we just hear that prince used some unnamed undialogued employee woman for sex? he could've talked with andy about it all the same even without our previously knowing or knowing exactly whom. you can even have an extra implied to conveniently entirely drop a glass for more Noticeability, but out of frame lmao. we don't even Need to have been shown nearly as much re its being rian for no reason, even if you assume that Dialogue is necessary or whatever, we could have only been informed about it later through taylor's being informed. and it's time to segue more overtly into: Political Lens On Abuse. is it that we could only go "well that's just normal and okay" unless we had dialogue from the woman that it's shit, actually, or rather, that it's a woman we supposedly already care about or something, and if it was some Unknown Woman we'd be like oh well she probably brought it upon herself / it's not a big deal if we can't get this dialogue of her like "wow this sucks." or really, being Shown her initial distress at the not actual recontextualization of things. wherein it's like, what does it actually do to just Present [tfw negative experiences where it's relevant a character is a woman]? what is it if, in Real Life or in Media, we think we have to externally See someone's freshest pain to potentially judge it as Real and Legitimate? meanwhile i Suppose it could be relevant to rian's apparent actually emergent character trait as "unusually clueless???" that for some reason she's like well time to proactively take responsibility for all this, like she took responsibility for taylor's feelings, and yet also both a) at all aware of the relevance of power differences such that this mere escalation of prince as [significantly older ceo you work for fairly public figure with political aspirations] which was already the case is obviously a problem to her, and for some reason she thinks being given hush money would serve to….give her more power in this situation (???) but also b) is Again apparently just taken off guard that prince does not regard nor treat her as a peer, so i can't even believe that this is simply rian kind of in denial about / trying to obscure or make up for her lack of power here kind of a whole tangent but it also overlaps with how rian Very Much does not feel like a character here when all that's relevant about her is "a young woman," in that also being so graced with getting to see any of rian pursuing [i'm dead set on hooking up with the worst person possible, which we have every reason to believe rian could and would be aware of but Apparently Not, with no particular appeal unless she's only after men who are also significantly older than her, and not even for the access to their potential power/resources] and then her dialogue about how "wow this sucks but i'll just take care of things then b/c it was on me lbr" also feels like effective "reassurance" from the material that prince didn't sexually assault her?? to the point that like, rian's own approach here of drugging someone she intends to have sex with is even now making it like, well that is….potentially to her advantage, you know, even when it's stimulants, and even when the person knows that's what's going on. again not…………..Great re: like. what ifs about like well i'm sure it's plausible Canonest Rian could see winston as a convenient source of casual sex, but. it'd then seem like sheer close shave luck if he wasn't hurt by such an arrangement, or again, simply the Approach of one

ugh anyways it's like. i'm not like surprised if the show thinks it's relevant to try to tell us "well prince wouldn't rape someone, but" but like, is it Actually. why "reassure" us that that didn't happen, why even give us anything beyond what rian says about it, even if she's still saying oh it was My Fault if anything? again, what prince expresses through words and actions (like also blaming andy for not being there instead, if she has a problem with it) that he feels entitled to Some woman's body for the purposes of his sexual gratification, anytime anywhere, Ever, At All. this does not at all conflict with someone who'd sexually assualt someone. he Also blames rian by expressing the idea that power is Deserved, thus a power imbalance is also a matter of intrinsic superiority and inferiority, entitlement and blame. sexual assault and just the less [there is precise and/or particularly established language for this] realm of behavior and attitudes that harm and use people re: sex is not all characterized by "was the potentially wronged party kicking and screaming? the whole time? as hard as possible? what about some tactical maneuver that could've been employed at the perfect moment? were they faking that ever? playing it up?" etc etc etc etc wherein even when supposedly we all agree sexual assault is wrong and bad, going Not That Bad(tm) and Victim Blaming about abuse is just like so "normal" lmao and i don't even just mean in the ways people think are Obviously victim blaming or minimalizing/denying.

there's also this question of like….is it also supposed to be some kind of Win here to have rian, again understood merely as A Woman, to pursue sex? or to even want to have sex? and/or is that also supposed to Reassure us about prince being But Not That Bad b/c again, unless someone was the Perfect Victim (who never exists and certainly never can be "proven") and in the Most distress putting up the Most physical fight at every single moment, well then nothing Too bad can have happened, right. like, the power imbalance here is what's relevant, how is rian's theoretical epic agency relevant? Are we supposed to go "yeah i mean that's kinda on her! should've known better!" and blame her a lil for prince's choices, thus taking responsibility off of him? if we are, that's like….this is just fundamental logic employed to justify abuse lol. the idea also that nobody's agency can be limited Unless They Let It, i.e., if they were negatively impacted by a power imbalance, actually that's an individual failing of theirs, thus proving they deserved it, really. backed up by what prince says that's just "yeah this is pretty much on you, should've known better" and that he can do what he wants because he can and he Does deserve his power relative to other people. that people think it's inherently Demeaning to even refer to someone's role in an experience as that of the victim, again because oh you're inferior if something could be done to you, because you Let it, it was your fault, you deserve it. that people who acknowledge that, in the context/framework of experiences relevant to them, they're victims / have less power, are supposedly Bringing It Upon Themselves with that attitude. and need to bootstraps effort and Act Correctly their way to being someone who doesn't deserve harm or abuse or the idea they're inherently inferior as that justification for that harm, abuse, that taking what you want from them. whereas the person wielding their power is the one Beset, Benevolent, Attacked, Hurt, Threatened here, of course, b/c the perpetual justification has to work such that They're correspondingly perpetually wronged. even owning up to one's superior power doesn't conflict with that when it's supposedly this great burden they take up for everyone else's own good, and Someone's gotta wield it, and you're the one messing everything up you see, so that's why they have to keep being in charge of you and insulated from your trying to ruin their life going "that was kind of a shitty thing, huh" such that you'd even dare imply the blame was Shared.

meanwhile again epic "this is….maybe at all supposed to be self contradictory, right" moments to consider in that, in dollar bill's absence, nobody is bullying coworkers like rian is, namely, winston ofc, and she can finally realize like wow prince is shit? like, if you registered someone being shitty To Winston as someone still being shitty, you had a front row preview a long time ago actually, but since that's what you set up by doing it yourself….like Again that rian is disagreeing with and negatively assessing and setting herself apart as at odds with the idea that someone deserves power b/c they're better than you and thus should pretty much do whatever they want. while she has always, and will presumably continue so long as he's there, to understand that she has more power than winston (who she's introduced to when (a) like everyone else, she could negatively judge him immediately in that [wow just like irl re: he's autistic] way and (b) both bosses come over like hiii riannn bestiieeee ugh god winston would you just die already) and thoughtlessly use that for the sake of enjoying the immediate rewards of exercising power, like affirming your superiority, she couldn't get away with hurting someone if she didn't have some elevated status over them, she not only has the fact that winston will pull punches and try to roll with things himself b/c he likes her, but always had and continues to have those reasons that like, people afford her a more elevated social status b/c she's more "correct"/Deserving than winston is, their boss personally likes and professionally prefers rian, all their mega boss singled winston out as the one person he'd ignore and insult in the episode where he's trying to ingratiate himself to absolutely everyone else out here (again, see how often someone whose True Intentions / approach simply analyzed accurately would result in their being (actually warrantedly) judged negatively, will project whatever exact thing they're up to on to the people they're doing it to. people claiming i could have possibly hurt them make Me the real victim here at their mercy. i'm constantly under threat/attack from the people around me as i only think of other ppl's motivations/feelings/thoughts in terms of how they could possibly threaten my idea of myself as perfect and superior. winston deflecting my complaints about taylor and literally saying TAYLOR MASON CAPITAL with his chest had better stop sucking up to me as i tell this other employee i'd be dtf apparently that i'm already impressed with the loyalty and then trip over myself trying to get taylor to accept me as i was just complaining about them to their employees for some reason)

anyways, she uses him for various things, there she is in that very episode, displaying how she reacts to discerning romantic advances when she apparently thinks well of the person (again, another What Characterization moment when not only does rian's character seem more closed off for interaction with taylor (even if on purpose, not that conducive to "of course i'd be in love with you" type of dynamic) and not only has rian, up until her immediately previous appearance in 6x08, fundamentally misunderstood how taylor thinks of her / their dynamic with her, but also taylor and rian have rarely if ever seemed to have a single interaction that one of both of them didn't seem to be fairly miserable about) to the point that they deserve her active efforts to help them feel okay about it, apparently. that, because she's no longer interested in whatever she was getting from talking abt their shared media interest with winston, she now tells herself that winston's input has no value. that even when she just wants to use him as A Listener, he can't respond without her only interest in acknowledging said responses to be using it as setup for insults or otherwise diminishing / demeaning him. she clearly hurts him on purpose, for no other reason than she wants to, can, and seems to more outright enjoy it half the time, and while she's capable of being antagonistic/critical/sarcastic to or about other people, it's different with winston. she Will behave in this way, but only with winston, who Just So Happens to be the one person she Can treat this way: not because her values prevent her from knowingly hurting anyone over and over anytime for like a couple of years, Except for winston for actually no particular reason, but because out of anyone here, she has access to him and she can get away with treating him like that, he does not have the social power/status to stop it, no one will intervene with Their power/status as a fortunate stopgap, he doesn't have the power of numbers when either other people agree with bullying him, or accept the rules enough that they agree everyone's on their own / any given person simply has to learn how to do the correct shit to successfully become unbullied / stop deserving it / bringing it upon themself. was holding out for the potential that rian and winston's dynamic could be or become more reciprocal and genuine, but it's unilateral, on her terms, she's taking what she wants from him, she Can do this to him, she Can ignore him when he's expressing he's hurt and/or what He wants, she evidently does not truly have the principled stance that no one, including her, should operate that way, so she does. it's not fundamentally different from prince's shit, even if it's Not As Bad(tm), like how based on principle and general approach there's nothing truly drawing some line between prince feeling entitled to sex from women and the exercise of that entitlement through sexual assault, even if it's Not As Bad(tm) if someone who was taken advantage of also wanted to have sex or even initiated anything, and any "well but it could've been worse" or ideas like "well but they could've deserved it / brought it upon themself less" is beside the point, the point being that fundamental approach of entitlement as made possible by the exercise of power. what's Worse is beside the point of whether it's unacceptable and harmful in a fundamental way no matter what, it can always be imagined to be not that bad, or at least it wasn't worse, or if someone could be imagined to be more unimpeachibly deserving, or if someone's willing to perhaps just slightly mitigate what they do as a supposed, probably temporary concession while, again, not fundamentally changing the situation.

deeply wretched if it turns out that in the end rian's most consistent character trait is how plausible it seems now that she could get along well enough with dollar bill, the other standout workplace bully about to make a triumphant return, even though he operates more generally and rian hasn't exactly ever had a chance to be regularly loosed around other employees besides winston right next to her vs lauren and mafee in other areas and sara not even here anymore….and this kind of "she has the same principles but just executes that Workplace Bullying with a different style, while being similar enough to the boss to be judged as incorrect" similarity to bill being able to do whatever tf he wants out here while others are blamed for what bill does to them could sure be a Deliberate Billions Commentary choice. but it's still like, rest in fucking pieces if this is truly rian's strongest character trait

there's more to touch on but i've been at this for hours and i'm annoyed enough at billions for one day. honorary addendum about "seemed like something that wags is going impromptu dad mode but that never went beyond that ep." also hardly think i agree with rian's ideas about relationships expressed in that episode but that's beside any of these points and i really don't know why it comes up lmfao, also doesn't seem to go beyond that ep. does rian have a problem with stimulants use, will That come up, who knows. is her job now to hang around until prince's downfall (even if it's through some similar, but different, situation). or be available for taylor to tell the audience how they feel about some aspect of their life / themself by what they say to rian as Advice or Feedback. bkopps saying she's supposed to be a "major player" like when has she driven a plot besides being a woman available to prince. that winston, peripheral, disposable though he is, is Also pretty much always a plot device than someone Getting plots as a character, but he gets to feel like More of a character b/c he exists to add flair and the lack of a need to bear these Continual Drama Conflicts plots means he's not being pulled around by that as much. what winston does is contradicted by what other people say about him, but what rian does is contradicted by what other people say about her And what She says, like, great. everything about her seems Relative and just getting the real brunt of [billions sacrifices Character for the convenience of plot] or where rian was pushed into prominence with nothing more to do but be taylor enrichment until philip shows up to be more prominent and better taylor enrichment, like, extremely worthy to provide that lmao but it's like, is "similar to taylor" what distinguishes her? not the strongest, and not that distinguishing out here, and at this rate wendy may as well have been like "i'll mentor you" for as much as rian has in common with her. there's just like, nothing here lmao. bullying winston is her strongest most consistent motivation that's not contradicted by anything else except her thinking she's above that while wendyesquely unaware that she clearly is not, will only realize it if someone Besides the person she's wronged confronts her with it plainly, and who would do that on winston's behalf? and then probably get right back to it soon enough anyways. the fact that the most pertinent things rian seems to have going on is [billions misogyny moments, oops only so many women around here and whether this material that's inherently written around a central man, even to criticize him, is also written around insulating him from coming across as "That Bad"] and [abuse is super relevant to billions but does it always realize it] and [does billions realize what it's asserting an autistic person deserves here (abuse)] and all that's left is taylor projecting on her, which is great, taylor please tell us more about what you think about yourself or i guess that you notice work doesn't bring you ebullient joy like on the bachelor, you figure romance is the only path for that, and you figure you can only date someone proximate and acceptable enough through work….but it's again not really about the character projected upon, except that i guess she takes taylor seriously enough to accept this, which is also not that exceptional around here

anyways speaking of shell games where you lift the cup and there's nothing there, a season and a half in and there's nothing much more gained re: rian being a character except that it Could be interesting if some of that beloved conflict came from rian bullying winston, but no one's putting themself in conflict with it which is why rian can keep effortlessly doing it on a whim, and i'm sure that even if winston managed to get some kind of foothold beyond "clearly express that he's hurt by this" so as to create any consequence for rian, that'll be about how he's wronging her and suddenly everyone recognizes something out of line and dives in to immediately rectify the situation and what all, brilliant i'm sure, nothing unrealistic about how it's normal and chill to gang up on the autistic coworker in whatever ways but if they react to that hostility in turn in any way that causes problems for anyone, That's the issue. gotta preserve the existing power structure, that's so true for winston that he's not even allowed to speak without being resented. also like irl. again, sooo epic if they've written him out here while we're keeping rian around indefinitely to uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but isn't she so acceptably normal and deserving. if billions doesn't come through with philip and taylor material what is the fucking point

(p.s. in copy/pasting this i noticed i suggested i'd come back around to Billions' Idea Of Smartness, in that suddenly characters have this flexibility re: acknowledging it or even conceptualizing it in any positive way when other people call winston a genius but only when ultimately questioning / contradicting this. or how i'm sure this could be considered some kind of "hmm questioning and criticizing what we value....what if someone must be smart i guess if they're really good at this one thing BUT they're sooo aggressive and annoying??????" like yes, that is a super common reaction to autistic people, as well as just asserting that same sentiment in supposedly more sympathetic ways like "oh autistic ppl just don't have that social/emotional intelligence :) just don't have the skills there that allistic ppl do :)" like get out of here w/that. wherein, similarly, if they boot winston off without ever having any Textual confrontation w/character's perspective or treatment towards him, i wouldn't count that as any critical analysis exercised with regards to how characters Or writers have thought about winston, certainly not successfully, can't even go "well but we the writers didn't say that it was Correct" like, except you kinda nonzero times did lmao, this is kind of your "this Is how to treat autistic people" commentary. and i don't even know that it'll be a Problem for rian's character that she agrees, even if winston is banished and she has to find someone new to bully, if she can. it would be one thing like, was waiting until all season 6 material was out like, well sure maybe rian's mean and unlikable, but there could still be this sense of A Character that makes this fun to follow. Except: No.)

#winston billions #long post ///#rape mention ///#just come through with the taylip; it's Been the taylor mason vehicle the entire time so #wouldn't say that Anyone gets just like incredibly strong never contradictory never sacrificed for convenience characterization #but jesus christ is rian's a fumbled mess of [there's nothing here]#with the like. readily insulting in several ways approach to ''hmm how do we say prince is shit actually; as a surprise'#f as always to short haired stuff atop desked quant quasirivalry rian. seemed like she could be a character; winston wasn't simply being #tormented by her on a whim w/no recourse even if it was heading there.#as annoying as it'll be if/when confirmed winston's written out it's like. if this is all you could do w/that character and then get rid of #him then i don't think you were otherwise going to have been sooo close to writing something thoughtful or substantial for the character #such that he even gets one of those tiny quaternary character subplots or anything. thank you for nothing except for those of you whom i #can thank for everything and more

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die-schwanenkoenigin · 3 months

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currently thinking about this comment x

#was rereading four play and my GOD #one of the better fics i've written jesus fucking christ #sooo i really need to write more emily/andy/serena/miranda because?? fuck me!!#and yes. by the way. emily IS a desperate little slut.#and she probably also has a thing for being degraded.#that is...if the person degrading her is miranda or andy.#thank you for coming to my ted talk

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hauntingblue · 3 months

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#i knew that wasn't momo omg...... that fucking witch.......#ODEN GET UP!!! THAT WAS JUST ONE HIT!!!#shinobu is gonna free them omg mvp.... omg tsuru.....#BOILED ALIVE????? the guard omg....#wtf. the worst part is that you know its going to work. but how.#talking tag #watching one piece #episode 972 #i cant believe they will make the oden isnt oden without being boiled work. but they made the frog that swims crole style work so.....#jesus christ oden... AND EVERYONE ELSE??? oh jesus christ (x2) atlas moment #kaido es un cachondo.... they ARE in the pot....#there is no way this man inst a d.... like there must be something else... but big mom is weirdly strange too and isnt one either...#but still its not the same.... big mom is just strong and not like formidable... you know what i mean... well ace wasnt that much either...#still this man is something else... also toki was born 800 years ago when joyboy was still around??? HELLO??? before the empty century????#or after but still.... important #oden has some jesus christ like followers.... 9 samurais and shinobu (mary magdalene)... you wouldnt get it... 🚬#so they would just leave..... damn....#episode 973 #the people begging orichi for oden omg.....#whooo was attacking wano when the kozukis closed the country down??? WHOOO #oden remembering shirohige in his last moments... he misses him so bad....#jesus christ..... executed....... kaido is such a wussy #his name must be a joke of destiny.... jesus christ.... the people remembering that phrase...#episode 974 #these flashbacks so far have been: oden lore. GROUNDBREAKING ONE PIECE ESSENTIAL INFORMATION. oden lore. (not saying oden lore is bad btw)#SEE. HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE WAR. AND ABOUT 20 YEARS. HE KNEW ABOUT HIS DEATH. HE KNEW.#I THOUGHT TOKI KNEW. omg he laughed on her face when she said he won't die omg. HE KNEW. WAS IT WRITTEN ON LAUGHTALE ABOUT LUFFY?#ABOUT THE GREAT WAR?? JUST HOW THE SEA BEASTS KNEW ABOUT SHIRAHOSHI???#oh this is where the cat and dog got their beef. BUT SEE HE IS TELLING THEM TO GO TO ZOU WHEN THEY GET IN TORUBLE. AND WHAT HAPPENED. LUFFY!#episode 975

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korraavaatu · 10 months

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can I make a formal request that people stop trying to add accents into their dialogue? I have no idea what accent you're even trying to accomplish most of the time AND it (at least as I've seen it lately on here) is like a shorthand for "not white" (with the only exception being some fucking white southern gone with the wind bs...). If you want to get another culture to come across in your writing, try slang or common sayings. Nothing makes me think southern like "y'all" or "bless your heart" (good and fine). And nothing makes me think that the writer is lazy like adding an accent when what you actually mean is "person of color" (bad and racist) because--even though you're writing fanfic, the reader apparently can't figure out who's talking unless you add that shit in

#i have it so that some things get recommended from tags i like and this mostly works #but sometimes its this. and it drives me. bonkers #this is unfortunately about spiderverse (but also the last of us you guys have GOT to lay off the thick accent jesus christ)#but at least the last of us one is just an annoyance #the spiderverse one--did you guys actually listen to Miguel's dialogue? have you heard oscar isaac speak?#its like you went 'hispanic!' and decided not only to insert random spanish (poorly) but also to stereotype his accent #strangely enough even though peter b is also from new york he doesn't seem to have accented dialogue. strange that. wonder why #i dont even want to know what's happening with hobie fics. i cant imagine anyone is adapting cockney accents well...#just. give them dialogue the way they would say it. you dont need the accent if we know who they are #this was a rant im sorry. accents in written language have always been a pet peeve.#jk rowling did it SO fucking often with SO many non white or poor/uneducated characters and it is VERY transparent #i say so many obviously relative to how many she actually had which. well #jkr fucking sucks anyway dont be like her

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inkedells · 1 year

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look at me a little more | dbf!joel miller x f!reader

A/N: first of all, SMUTTT so much smut up ahead. holy crap this is the longest thing i've ever written (pathetic, i know, blame the commitment issues) enjoy lovies!! also lmk if you want a part 2 maybe possibly!?

m!dni | requests open.

summary: dbf!neighbor!joel accidentally drenches you (virgin!reader) while washing his car and you can’t help but notice the way he eyes you up. it’s only once he’s in your bedroom, fixing your closet door as an apology, that you realize the best person to rid you of your virginity and teach you precisely how to please yourself and others had been right in front of you the whole time; it's getting joel on board with the whole idea that's the hard part.

word count: 5.5k

tags/warnings: SMUTTTT, virgin!reader, dbf!neighbor!joel faces moral conflicts (to fuck or not to fuck!?!?), porn with plot, sooo much tension, dirty talk, use of pet names, blowjobs, handjobs, cumplay, reader eats joel's cum, grinding, making out, oral sex, no!outbreak au, reader's innocent in the sense that she doesn't really know how to do a lot of things when it comes to sex but still has a ton of desires

masterlist

There was a certain shame that came with being infatuated with your dad’s best friend.

You were sitting around on the porch on a hot summer afternoon, wearing your shortest cotton shorts as you sipped the juice box brand you had loved since you were a little girl. Legs crossed, foot tapping the air, and most importantly, eyes absolutely trained on the ripple of Joel Miller’s biceps as he washed his car.

You didn’t know why you liked to stare at him so much. But you did know it was wrong. Immoral. Eyeing up someone in their forties? What was wrong with you? That was your dad’s best f—

“Hey, Mr. Miller!” You called over, shutting down every ounce of doubt in your mind.

He turned around without hesitation, and when he did, you waved. The first time you’d done that, he had to work a little harder to figure out the source of the voice, eyes searching in random directions before finally settling on you. But now, it was like he knew exactly where to look—And, well, that was all it took for you to decide you would be spending the next hour washing a car if it meant spending time with Joel.

So you settled your juice box down on the wooden floor of the porch and skipped over to his house. He must not have heard your footsteps behind him over the sound of the hose, so your simple tap on his shoulder resulted in him whipping around, hose in hand, as he consequently drenched you.

You yelped, breaking out into nervous laughter both from shock and how cold the water was. Joel fumbled to turn off the hose as he began profusely apologizing. “Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry—”

Then he properly saw you. From Joel’s perspective, your clothes were reduced to translucency, practically melting into your skin.

But you didn’t know that. You never fully grasped just how vulnerable you had become from his accident, so when you caught him averting his gaze as quickly as he could, you were a little confused.

“You—Uh—I,” Joel stumbled before clearing his throat, “There’s clothes. Inside. Sarah’s. You can, um, you can go and… y’know. Change into them. Walkin’ all the way back to your house doesn’t seem like a… viable… option.”

By then, a blush had already risen to your cheeks just from how delicately Joel was treating you. As if you were something he had to be careful with, like if he didn’t think long and hard about every word coming out of his mouth, there would be consequences.

“Lead the way.”

Joel gave you a firm smile before swallowing the lump in his throat and motioning for you to follow him as he walked. Once he had the front door open, he let you go in first. Even as you carefully walked past him, you could feel his eyes staring at you.

“Up there,” Joel gestured, “Um, first door on the left. I’ll… be outside.”

As he explained, you subconsciously scanned over the planes of his body—probably a habit you picked up from the multiple weeks of watching him work. But then he was turning to leave, and you could tell he was still really tense. You didn’t know why a simple accident had him so tripped up, but you had the urge to alleviate his worry.

“Hey,” You called, arms wrapped around yourself in an effort to stave off the cold. He turned around, concerned until he saw your soft smile and relaxed a little, “On a scale of one to ten, how sick and tired are you of washing that truck?”

There was only one way to break Joel out of his nervous state; you had to make the situation lighthearted; you learned that from years of watching him hang out with your dad.

He searched your eyes for a beat, eyes completely unwavering, before muttering, “Like a fifty.”

You both breathed a laugh at that. For the briefest moment, you thought you noticed Joel’s gaze flitting to your chest. Your breath caught in your throat, but before you could do a double take, his eyes were glued to yours again.

“So then,” You started, regathering yourself and pushing away whatever your brain was conjuring up, “How do you feel about replacing one lousy chore with another?”

“What kinda chore we talkin’?”

“Well, my closet door’s all screwed up. And you know, instead of apologizing for soaking me by way of expensive concert tickets and a brand new car, like how I know you were planning on doing—”

“—Oh, of course,” Joel sarcastically remarked, playing along as you quickly noticed the worry on his face faded into a crooked grin.

“Well, I really think I can just settle for the closet door fix. Go ahead and save the brand new car for when you break my toaster.”

“Okay, okay,” Joel laughed, “I get it. Go change, then you can lead me to this broken closet door.”

Sarah’s clothes definitely belonged to a fourteen-year-old. Not your taste, but then again, if you were fourteen like her, you probably would’ve dressed like that too.

You couldn’t settle on a top, all of them were either too small or bore a graphic design too childish for you. You did find a pair of stretchier shorts that fit alright though, so you decided you’d just pick up one of Joel’s shirts from the pile of clean laundry you saw sitting atop the washing machine downstairs.

When you made it out the front door, the hose was away and his toolbox was resting on the ground by his feet. Joel was drying up his car with a cloth, and when he heard you hop down the steps and subsequently turned your way, you weren’t exactly expecting him to completely stumble at the sight of you in his shirt.

“Oh—You, uh, I thought you were gettin’ Sarah’s clothes?”

“I was, none of her tops fit so I grabbed one of yours from the laundry downstairs.” You absorbed Joel’s cryptic reaction and began to worry. “I’m sorry, Mr. Miller, I really should’ve asked—”

“—No, no, it’s fine. Really. Doesn't matter.”

Joel picked up his toolbox, then the both of you began walking over to your house. It wasn’t that far away at all, probably a couple of hundred feet at most, but he opted into small talk anyway.

“Um,” Joel began, “What’d you come over for in the first place? Didn’t really get a chance to ask ‘cause of this whole… debacle.”

You giggled at his old man vocabulary. Debacle.

“I wanted to help with your car, but looks like those plans got derailed.”

He breathed a polite laugh. “Yeah, well. Guess it turned out that way.”

Before an awkward silence could fall upon the both of you, your brain settled on something to bring up.

“Hey, my dad’s having that July 4th barbecue the day after tomorrow. You’re coming right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it, honey.”

Honey? Honey. Honey honey honey honey—

He cleared his throat. “Where is your dad, anyway?”

You were both standing on your porch now, Joel’s eyes raking you over as you fumbled with the front door.

“Um, I think he’s out working.”

“Great.”

Great?

Before you could ask him what he meant, Joel realized what he had said. “Wait, no, not great. I don’t—I don’t know why I said that. Sorry. I’m sorry.”

You pushed the door open. “Hey,” You brought a hand up to his chest and patted it, “You’ll give yourself a heart attack if you keep assuming all your mistakes are colossal and worthy of that much panic.”

His shoulders seemed to relax a little at that—you weren’t sure if it was your hand or your words that did it.

Eventually, you both found yourselves in your bedroom. You were sitting on the edge of your bed as you watched Joel work. Kneeling on one knee with a screwdriver in hand, he fumbled with one of the closet door’s hinges as he muttered little things to himself under his breath.

“Thanks for this, Mr. Miller.”

He turned to you, nodding as he seemed to process that he was in your bedroom. Your bedroom.

“So,” Joel began, as he dug through his toolbox, “Is your boyfriend visiting too? Or, y’know, girlfriend. Three months is a long ti—”

You softly smiled. “I don’t have a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend.”

He turned to look at you again as he turned a screwdriver, this time scanning you over. “Hm, I don’t believe you. Sweet thing like you? Single?”

“Oh, stop,” You blushed, shooing him off.

Joel stood to his feet, dusting his hands off on his thighs. “All fixed. Next time you ne—”

“—I’ve never been in a relationship before. Actually.”

Joel stared at you for a moment before diverting his gaze to the ground. “I, um…”

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that. You don’t wanna know about my completely nonexistent dating history,” You lightly smacked your forehead, “Wait, it’s existent if we count the boy I dated for a week in fourth grade.”

Joel laughed, sitting down next to you on your bed. “It’s okay. I haven’t really dated anybody since Sarah’s mom, either. Long-term, anyways.”

“Yeah, well at least you’re not a virgin.”

Joel seemed to tense at that, and you immediately regretted saying it.

“Oh gosh,” You cringed, hands gripping your head, “I really just say anything, don’t I?”

Joel chuckled, head hung between his shoulders with his eyes squinted shut. You eventually laughed, too, simply because—and you realized it sounded stupid—Joel’s laughter was contagious.

“Alright, alright,” Joel beckoned, “Lemme be serious for a second. C’mere.”

You slumped down next to him, staring up at the ceiling before turning to make eye contact.

“That’s not something you have to worry about. You got time, honey, you’re in college. All that crap about late blooming isn’t real. It’s about whenever you’re ready, and whenever you find the right person to do it with.”

You smiled up at him softly. “Thanks, Mr. Miller.”

“Joel. Just Joel.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look away from him. So you stayed like that, searching his eyes for something you didn’t have the courage to say out loud.

“Joel,” You echoed, repeating his name back to him, bottom lip caught between your teeth.

“I, uh…” Joel trailed off, his gaze flitting down to your lips. “I…” He tried again, but it went nowhere.

You exhaled, and almost immediately, his hands cupped your face as he leaned forward and pressed a soft, fleeting kiss to your lips.

It was warm, and gentle, and amazing, and you didn’t know if you could ever let him stop kissing you with how delightful the scruff of his beard felt against your skin.

He did break the kiss after a few seconds, though, and it left you breathless. “Joel…”

His muscles seemed to visibly tense as he mistook your speechless state for confusion. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why—”

“—No. No, I liked it,” You smiled softly at him, “I, um, you know. Wouldn’t mind if you kissed me… again.”

With reassurance that you weren’t absolutely appalled, his limbs relaxed. He leaned forward again until he was kissing you. Slow at first, languid. But then it turned fervent and desperate, breaths being exchanged into one another's mouths as lips slotted together like fingers intertwined—so perfect, as if they were biologically designed to do so.

It wasn’t long until he had your back flat against your bed, and you felt his growing hardness dig into your hip.

“Y’know what that is, don’t you?”

You nodded hesitantly.

“You know why it’s there?”

You shrugged.

He gripped the fabric of your—no, his—shirt as his voice rumbled, “You prancin’ around in my shirt did that.”

Without a second thought, you clumsily palmed him there through the thick fabric of his jeans and reveled in the consequential shuddering moan he let out

“Joel, I don’t… I don’t think I know what I’m doing.”

“That’s okay, honey, I’ll teach you.”

Propping himself up with his elbow, he placed his hand atop your own and guided the movements of your open palm. Things like pressing your hand further into him so as to increase the pressure between his legs, and encouraging back-and-forth motions that had his hips rutting and his breath hitching.

Once you got the hang of it, he removed his hand from your own. You felt his hand snake down your neck, then the side of your torso.

“I trust you,” You whispered, fingers playing with the happy trail peaking Joel’s pants, hoping to absolve him of any guilt or doubt.

But the second Joel’s fingertips grazed the waistband of your shorts, he froze. He was staring off somewhere to the right, so you followed his gaze until you found what he was so disturbed by.

A framed photo on your nightstand, one of you standing next to your dad on vacation in Maui.

You understood immediately; that picture was an astute reminder of exactly who’s daughter Joel was about to debauch.

Your hand fell away from his crotch as he leaned back on his haunches and ran his hands through his hair with worried eyes.

“Joel?” You whispered, but then he was completely backing off of you as he muttered curses under his breath. “Hey, no, come back. What’s wrong?”

It was a dumb question. You knew what was wrong. Even though you were well beyond legal, it seemed to mean little in the situation—the facts were, if he touched you, it was betrayal.

“This is…” Joel panted, standing to his feet and raking his hands through his hair, “I shouldn’t have… Fuck. Fuck. I have to go.”

And just like that, he was gone.

That night, your lights stayed on and you didn’t close your curtains.

You stripped yourself of Joel’s shirt first, going excruciatingly slow in case Joel happened to be watching through his neighboring window. You occasionally shot glances at his window on the off chance that the window illuminated, but you quickly realized if the two of you made eye contact that wouldn’t be good either. You’d gotten all the way down to your underwear before you spotted his light flick on from the corner of your eye.

So you did the first thing that came to mind; You turned your back to your window. Panties halfway down your legs, torso bent with your knees straightened as you slowly shed your clothing. Hoping. Hoping for him to avert his attention ever so slightly and accidentally catch you like this. Hoping he would think of it every time he talked to you.

Without ever making eye contact, you would never know if Joel actually saw anything, and he would never know you hadn’t actually “forgotten” to close your curtains.

No pressure on either of you.

You went to sleep with a hand shoved down the front of your panties as you thought of all the things you wanted Joel to do to you.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Jesus. What time was it? You stretched until sleep left you and opened your eyes as wide as you could (not very wide at all). From what you could gather, the sun was definitely up. You, however, did not have the willpower required to read off of your phone screen 5 seconds after waking up, so you answered the phone without reading the contact.

“Hello?” You groaned, voice gruff from sleep.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

You knew that voice anywhere. Almost immediately, you shot upright and cleared your throat as you rubbed your eyes. “Oh, hey Mr. Mill—uh, I mean, Joel,” You breathed a nervous laugh before remembering his question, “No. No, it’s okay I was like, basically awake already, um, so… what’s up? Why’d you—Why’d you call?”

“Right, so just to preface, I understand things are not... ideal... between us right now. But to be honest, you’re the only person available who I trust with this, and… let me just explain. I got called into work unexpectedly and Sarah’s gonna be home alone. Lately, she’s been getting into these rebellious fits, and I just don’t want to risk another situation where she sneaks out at night to meet up with her boyfriend again.”

“Sarah and rebellious fits? Really?”

“Yes, believe it or not. So do you think you could just hang around my place for, to be honest, a long while? It’s looking like I’m gonna be home really late tonight. Oh, and I can pay you.”

“Oh, shut up, you’re not paying me.”

Joel exhaled appreciatively through the phone. “Okay, well I’m home right now if you wanna come by and eat some breakfast. Least I could do. I gotta leave in like thirty minutes by the way, so. Take your time but also don’t take your time?”

You smiled, hoping he could hear it in your voice. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon.”

“Thanks, honey.”

Oh god. There it was again. You thought you might actually pass out, but you quickly turned off your racing brain enough to mutter a small “mhm” before abruptly hanging up.

Okay. Joel Miller. Your dad’s best friend, who was this close to absolving you of every ounce of innocence in your body… just asked you to watch his daughter. What could go wrong?

When you got to his house, he had left already (you definitely took too long in the shower). He did leave out a plate of food, though, along with the message, “Thanks again. Enjoy the pancakes,” scratched out on a post-it note.

And boy did it turn out to be a long day. Sarah wasn’t that much of a handful, she mostly took care of herself. The hard part was lunch.

You attempted to cook something for the two of you, but it only ended in disaster when you left the quiches in the oven for too long. Then you decided Penne a la Vodka couldn’t be that hard, and you couldn't be more wrong. A whole box of pasta was ruined because Sarah didn’t realize the pasta went in after the water boiled, not before. Eventually, you both just accepted defeat and ordered Panera Bread.

Later, Sarah popped into the living room to let you know she was going up to her room to take a nap, and you figured you’d do the same on the couch.

The last thing you read was the time on the cable box; 7:37.

Metal clanking. The turn of a key. The creaking of a door. The blaring siren of an alarm system.

“Jesus—Fuck. I thought I told her to turn off the alarm at 8.”

And Joel’s voice.

You jolted awake, blinking wide as you moved to sit upright on the couch. The time on the cable box was 11:50.

Soon, the alarm stopped, and not long after, Joel’s figure came into view. He was wearing a denim button-up with work pants and work boots.

“Hey,” Joel called, setting his things down next to the kitchen island.

“Hi,” You replied, “How was work?”

Joel gave you a polite smile before pulling open the refrigerator door to retrieve a beer. With his head still poked inside the fridge, he replied, “The usual.”

“Well, what was the usual li—”

“—Were you asleep?”

“Uh…" You cleared your throat in an effort to stall as you debated whether or not you would lie. "Yeah, I was. Sorry.”

Joel took a swig of his beer, staring at you from across the room for a minute before blurting out, “The usual is busy. Extremely busy and tedious. But, um, how was Sarah? Hope you weren’t asleep too long.”

“Nope,” You lied, “I Wasn’t asleep long at all. Sarah was great. We had a bit of trouble with lunch, but everything ended up fine.”

“Good. Good. Well you can head out now, thanks for taking care of her.”

No. You did not want to "head out." You rose to your feet. “Joel?”

He looked around as he swallowed his beer. “Uh, yeah?”

“I actually wanted to talk to you. About yesterday.”

He peered down at the ground, swishing around the bottle in his hand. “That’s—That’s okay, honey. I think it’s best we forget that happened.”

“What? But why?”

Joel crossed the room and sat down next to you, leaning back against the couch while you sat back down on the edge with your elbows resting on your knees.

“Come on,” He started, “Don’t act like you don’t know exactly why we’re… this… is impossible.”

“Joel, I—”

“—I’m sorry. You should get home now.”

You turned around to face him. “Joel. No one has to know.”

“As I said, I’m sorry. I handled yesterday… terribly. There were a million different ways to go about that, and I somehow chose the worst one. But we don't work. We can't work.”

You felt your eyes begin to water, but you tried to push the feeling down.

“Hey, hey,” He lulled, the hardness of his attitude falling away as he noticed the sad shine in your eyes, “Don’t cry.” He pulled you against him, rubbing your shoulder firmly.

“Joel,” You mumbled in a small voice, sniffling against his denim shirt with a frown.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to justify what he was quickly realizing was inevitable. You were an adult, somebody else independent of your father. It was your choice who to get involved with, just like it was his. This was mutual.

He knew he would regret it later, but your innocence and desperation allured him to the point of no return.

“It’s late,” Joel began, voice gentle as he offered you one last out, “You should go home. You need sleep, you’re not thinking straight. I’ll call you in the morning.”

“No,” You replied, removing yourself from his body so you could look him in the eye. “I don’t want to leave. I want you to… I want you to do what you said you’d do.”

Knowing exactly what you were talking about, he redundantly asked in a whisper, “And what’s that?”

You wiped a stray tear as you clumsily moved to straddle his lap. Almost automatically, his hands found their way to your hips, his thumbs rubbing circles into the slivers of skin peeking between your cami tank top and the waistband of your shorts. But it seemed at some point his consciousness realized what he was doing because his hands suddenly dropped to his sides. And, well, you just wouldn’t have that, so you grabbed hold of his wrists and returned them to where they were settled on your hips before you rested your own hands on Joel’s chest.

“You remember, don’t you?” You shifted in his lap, “You said you’d teach me.”

“How to have sex.” He said it more like a confirmation rather than a question.

You blushed at his blatant use of the word. It was like every fifth thing coming out of his mouth was sending your brain spiraling. You cleared your throat. “Yeah. Yeah, sex. Blowjobs, orgasms, literal sex. All of it.”

Silence for a beat. “I have one condition,” Joel warned.

“Yeah, what is it?”

“The second I suspect your dad is onto us, that’s it. It’s over. No more messing around, none of it. I can’t lose my best friend.”

You nodded. You probably shouldn’t have agreed so easily, but you didn’t actually think you and Joel would ever get caught.

“Okay, then,” Joel whispered. “Good. What do you wanna do first? Start off easy.”

You looked around the room nervously, careful not to make eye contact as you spoke. “Like. I dunno. Maybe for right now, I could just… touch you. Touch it, I mean.”

Joel nodded, and when your breathing began to grow the slightest bit uneven from nervousness, he noticed and rubbed your upper arm reassuringly. “Hey. Relax. Climb down and sit right there on the ground between my legs, and I’ll show you where to start.”

And so you did. Joel peered down at you with heavy lids as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and thus began your first lesson.

“Unbuckle my pants.”

With shaky hands, you removed his belt and undid his fly. You couldn’t explain why, but as soon as you caught sight of the bulge in his boxers, your mouth watered.

“What…” You began, “What now?”

“Whatever feels comfortable.”

With a light, feathery touch, you delicately traced a singular finger along the outline of his cock. Joel shivered at the contact, hands shooting to grip the sofa. Touching it felt different this time, more intense because you could feel every ridge and vein; you blamed it on the much thinner fabric dividing your fingers and his cock.

Your breath shuddered before speaking, “Can I take it ou—”

“—Yes, God, yes.”

You hooked your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, pulling downwards until his cock sprang free. It was thick, long, and wet at the tip, and you found yourself instinctively leaning further into it.

“Okay,” Joel sighed shakily, “Now just form a circle with your fingers and stroke it.”

You did as Joel said, and when your fingers finally made contact with his cock, you sighed at how velvety the skin was there. Soft and smooth, except for the trimmed hair surrounding the base. You stroked him steadily, biting your lip as you watched the wetness leaking from his tip spread down his shaft.

“Twist at the tip, honey, twist at the—Yeah, just like that. So good, you’re doing so good.” You couldn’t help but smile when Joel tilted his head back from the pleasure of it all.

With Joel still reeling from the contact of your hand, you took his momentary refusal to look down at you as an opportunity to surprise him a little.

You leaned forward and kitten-licked his tip, and it had him finally making eye contact with you as he whispered, “Oh, do that again.”

And so you did, adoring the look of pleasure strewn across Joel’s face.

Joel offered you a quick, crooked grin. “How’s it feel?” He asked, brushing his thumb along your bottom lip as your tongue played with his tip.

You pulled away for a moment to respond, “How’s what feel?”

“Licking a man’s cock.”

You let the spit that had gathered in your mouth drip down onto his length. “I have the urge to do more with it.”

“Like what?”

“Like put it all the way in my mouth.”

And so kitten licks turned into long stripes up his shift, which turned into eager suckling on his tip, which turned into forcing his cock down as far as it could go without making you gag.

Joel’s hand gripped the back of your head, but he never pushed you down. Whenever you did accidentally end up gagging, he petted your hair, mumbling encouragements as best he could through the blinding pleasure. Things like, “Yeah, honey, doing so good. That’s it. Just a little more. Mhm.” And his affectionate nature, his gentleness, his reassuring words—he was exactly how you hoped he would be like. Not to mention, the general hotness of it all had your hips canting down against nothing, in desperate search of relief.

“M’close, sweetheart. Take it—Take it out.”

“I don’t wanna,” You replied in a hoarse voice as you jacked him off.

“You’re not ready for that, honey, just take it out. Take it out.”

You reluctantly complied, removing him from the tight heat of your mouth, drool dripping down your chin as you stroked him rapidly.

“Joel, I… I think I’m wet.”

He moaned a curse at that, his chest rising and falling in rapid breaths as his orgasm approached him. “Jesus f-fuckin’… Tell me more.”

“I need you to touch it for me next time. Please. Maybe you could… Maybe you could put your mouth on it like how I put my mouth on you.”

“Yes, yes, oh fuck, I’m cumming, don’t stop stroking it,” Joel moaned, hot white spurts shooting up and all over your hand as you stroked him through it.

With his breathing still labored, he panted out in a high voice, “You’re lying. You’re f-fucking lying. Tell me the truth.”

“About what?”

“This isn’t—You’ve done this before. No way you made me cum this hard and it’s your first time.”

“Well,” You breathed a nervous laugh, “That’s flattering. But you’re my first. Trust me.”

When his orgasm fully subsided, Joel lay slumped against the sofa with his legs spread wide. You remained between them with your head resting on his thigh as you just stared at his cock. Took it all in, every curve, every vein, and inevitably, the cum that spurted itself over the surrounding area.

“What are you doing?” Joel chuckled, petting your hair as you smiled.

“I’m… I don’t know really. I just can’t stop looking at it.”

But then curiosity got the best of you, and you began to drag your fingers through the mess at his base. It caught Joel off-guard, his entire body stiffening as he watched you.

“What does it taste like?” You asked quietly as you examined the cum on your fingers.

“Oh my god,” Joel groaned through his labored breathing, “I swear, if you do what I think you’re about to do, I’ll be hard again in five seconds.”

“I’ll take my chances,” You joked, bringing your finger to your mouth and licking it clean, ultimately wincing at the taste. “It’s like, bitter. And salty. And kinda sweet. But mostly bitter and salty. To be honest, it’s kinda nasty but I can see myself getting used to it.”

“Wow,” Joel sighed, “You just really know how to set the mood. Make things real romantic.”

“Oh, shut it,” You huffed, playfully swatting his thigh before getting up and plopping down next to him on the sofa as he got to work stuffing himself back into his pants despite the mess he made—that was a problem for future Joel.

“Gonna miss you, little Joel,” You joked to his crotch.

“Oh my god, you’re the worst,” Joel chuckled painfully with his fists in his eyes. “I’m never letting you near ‘little Joel’ again.”

“Mm, no, because I just made you cum so hard you thought I was lying about being a virgin.”

He sighed at that. “You got me there.”

“I did, didn’t I?”

You both laughed at that; In fact, you both were laughing a lot. And at everything. In your head, you blamed it on the ecstatic high of being in each other’s presence this way.

When the mutual laughter died down, Joel looked at you for a moment, admiring you. Then, slow and hesitant as ever, he leaned in to kiss you.

“Do you taste it?” You whispered, breaking the kiss as you fought another giggle.

“Yes, actually. Wait, don’t say it please, this is actually a nice moment—”

“—Your cum!” You loud-whispered.

Another sigh. “My cum.”

You eagerly kissed him back after that, swearing off mood-breaking jokes for the rest of the night. Eventually, you even became too tired to kiss, simply letting your forehead rest against his. Your eyes fluttered shut as his hand snaked up your leg and inched under the leg of your shorts, using force to push your legs open wider.

“Need me to take care of this?” He asked into your mouth before letting his kisses travel down to your neck.

“Joel,” You breathed, breaths beginning to come out in rapid succession as your hips gyrated in response to how dangerously close Joel’s hand was to your pussy. “I… I’m tired.”

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to do a thing,” Joel breathed, removing his hand from beneath your shorts in order to pull down the waistband. “It’s a yes or no question. Just give me a yes or a no.”

Your breath hitched as you opened your eyes and stared at the little bit of empty space left between you and Joel. The throbbing between your legs was bad, but it was something about the delayed gratification of saving things for later that stopped you from saying yes. “No, I… I think that’s it for tonight.”

Joel withdrew his hand, reassuringly cracking a brief smile. “Hey, uh, spend the night. It’s way too late, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

You shrugged. “Yeah, but what about Sarah?”

“I came home super late, you fell asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you.”

You thought about it for a second before agreeing. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Thank you. But I’m taking the couch.”

“What? No—”

“—Joel. I’m taking the couch.”

He looked at you skeptically but then agreed. “If you change your mind just let me know.”

“I will. Goodnight.”

Joel squeezed your leg before getting up and making his way to the stairs. “Goodnight.”

masterlist

A/N: strikethrough means i can't tag you, check your settings

taglist:

@basicoccult @myhusband2cool @fleuraimer @chunguk @xkyxkyxxlylcylulucufifluclu @pintsizedsunshine @s1eepy-bear @daddysuperduperlonglegs @worhols @evyiione @criesside @saph-cyare

@gswizzsstuff @baloobalee @gessmiller05 @trynasurvivelol @yazsos @marchai @pompii @alyssa1216 @daddy-din @msmagix4 @blooming-bubs @huffle-punk @whorrorain @iliketoeatstrawberrypocky @onlineplant @totallynotastanacc @hiddenbabynyc @thedoctorofpoop @kamcrazy123 @afterglowsb-tch13

@redplaidedandcladed @simping-soldat @martyluvsu @mingiast @teddybonkers1960 @brittmb15 @ellswilliams @laurasunsole @senaar-ika @whore4ellie @harrysbitvh123 @atremises @silkiers @bbyanarchist @pawnshopbluess222 @https-hann @cassiesolos @xanqels @jawgrinder

@daylighthrry @victoriamay1357 @jeezkiddo @its-spooky-these-days @pedro-luvr @chibimosa @sagethephantom @loathsome-gargoyle @alejaa-a @greenclues @june-julie @spenciesprincess @donttamethebeasts @alec0 @djarinsimp

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sturniluvr · 8 days

Text

All of me, loves all of you

Matt Sturniolo x fem!reader

word count: 1.3k

warnings: possible spelling mistakes, some language, hate comments, nothing else lmk if I missed anything

summary: you’ve always been told in your life by multiple people that you’re always either too loud or too quiet and it’s one of your biggest insecurities but happens to be your boyfriend’s favourite thing about you.

A/N: sorta inspired by @obsidianbaby fic with a little twist and hers is a Chris version. Here it is if you want to check it out. Listen to John Legend ‘all of me’ while reading if you want <3

❗️semi proof read❗️

You were on sat on the couch as the triplets rushed around the house getting the equipment they needed to film the car video, all they had left to find was a battery because Nick once again forgot to charge the battery so they had to find a charged one to replace the dead battery before filming whilst also waiting for their food to arrive.

“Y/N are you joining us for the video? Or can I be Matt’s passenger princess?” Chris joked as he made his way past her towards the kitchen to check their junk drawer for the spare battery.

“Fuck where is it?” He muttered to himself as he rummaged through the drawer, unsuccessful in finding what he was looking for. The younger woman didn’t acknowledge her best friend at first, her head being buried in her phone, more specifically, looking at the comments on last Friday’s car video where she was having one of her more quiet days and the comments surely picked up on the sudden mood change compared to her yapping in the Wednesday video prior to the Friday car video.

‘She needs to make up her mind, either be loud or be quiet Jesus Christ’

‘How do they put up with her? She’s so annoying’

‘Y/N needs to be more entertaining omg😭’

‘One day she’s quiet the next she won’t stfu, must be so annoying to the triplets, how do they like her??? Especially Matt??? Poor guy’

‘She’s such a weirdo, either being way too loud or way too quiet💀’

‘Y/N?? You with me kid?” Chris waved his hand in front of her face to grab her attention.

“Hmm? Sorry Chris what did you say?” She replied to the older boy. As he was about to reply, the doorbell rang signaling the food had arrived, Matt came from his bedroom and made his way down the stairs to open the door and get the food, thanking the delivery driver as he closed the door. He came back up the stairs and placed the bag of McDonald’s on the kitchen table, sorting out who’s is who’s.

“I was asking if you were coming to film with us?” she shook her head in response.

“No, I’ll sit this one out, I think. Maybe just watch a film or have a shower and an early night.”

Matt’s head turned in the direction of his girlfriend and brother as soon as he heard the words leave Y/N’s mouth, immediately sensing something was wrong.

“You okay baby? You feeling good?” He asked, concern written all over his features, Matt made his way over to the Y/H/C girl with her usual McDonalds order of 9 chicken nuggets, medium fries and a peach iced tea. He placed her food on the table in front of her and quickly raised the back of his hand to her forehead, her temperature seemed fine to him.

“Yeah, I’m okay Matt, I promise, I’m just tired you know I’ve had a busy day.” She explained, looking up at her boyfriend with a not very convincing smile on her face, not convincing to Matt anyway, he could read her like a book.

Nick had found the battery, and the camera was now ready to set up in the car.

“You coming you two?” He calls out to the couple while grabbing his food off the kitchen table. Chris doing the same and stood with the oldest triplet waiting for an answer.

“Give us a minute Nick, you and Chris head to the car.” Matt replied, throwing his car keys in the direction of Chris which he smoothly caught. The brothers made their way downstairs to the garage to unlock the car. In the living room, Matt was now sat next to Y/N on the couch. He noticed a stray tear make it’s way down her cheek.

“Baby please just tell me what’s bothering you. It can’t be silly if it’s making you cry.” he stated as he wiped the stray tears off her cheeks with his thumbs. He looked over to her unlocked phone that had since been discarded on the table, he removed his hands from her face and picked her phone up, raising his eyebrows as if asking permission to look through the phone. She nodded in silent understanding. He looked at the illuminated screen and a frown immediately made its way onto his face, followed by a glare at some of the comments that his so called fans had left about the love of his life.

“They hate me.” Y/N said dejectedly, biting her nails anxiously as Matt continued to read the comments. Matt sighed before he replied.

“Oh baby. A few comments mean nothing okay my love, what matters is what you think and what I think, and I think you’re amazing just the way you are.”

“But Matt it’s not just a few comments! It’s every other comment, either saying you must be annoyed by me, or I don’t deserve you or that I’m a weirdo all because I’m always either too loud or too quiet! I’ve always been made fun of because of it!” She replied frustrated, tears beginning to well up in her eyes yet again.

Suddenly Matt placed her phone face down on the couch and grabbed her hand before leading her to his bathroom. He switched the light on and placed her in front of the mirror and rested his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“See this woman in the mirror? She is the most perfect woman I have ever met, every little detail of her, from her freckles to her personality makes her even more perfect to me and I fall more in love with her every day.” He placed a trail of kisses leading from her shoulder up to her cheek before he loosened his hold on her waist to turn her so she was facing him before continuing.

“Darling, you can’t let the things people who hide behind their screens tell you define you okay? It would break my heart to see their nasty words dim my princess’ light, okay? You are perfect to me, and that’s all that matters, okay? Not some bullshit random people on the internet say, they’re just jealous 12 year olds.” He joked, lightening the mood, causing a small smile to creep up on her face, he smiled at the sight.

“There’s my favorite smile!” He exclaimed.

He cupped her cheeks before speaking again.

“Love, you have to remember if you ever feel like this again, is all of me loves all of you, okay? Always has and always will, you’re my favorite person and you being both loud and quiet balances me out perfectly, if I need a quiet and safe place you give that to me, or if I need to let off energy and be crazy, you go on all kinds of crazy adventures with me. I couldn’t be more thankful for you. I love you so much my angel.”

“I love you too my love” she replied, happy tears now in her eyes as opposed to the sad and frustrated tears in her eyes not even 20 minutes ago.

“What do you say, we go film the video with Nick and Chris, I want the better passenger princess next to me and not the one who burps 24/7 and looks like me” he joked, she let out a laugh at her boyfriend.

“Sure, let’s go film. I wanna grab my food first though.” He nodded and the couple made their way into the living room to grab Y/N’s food before making their way down to the garage where they heard Nick and Chris arguing over something ridiculous, they both laughed at the pair. The two in the car noticed the couple stood in the doorway making their way to the car. Y/N got in the car while Matt remained outside, focusing the camera. Y/N threw a thumbs up to Matt as the camera was set up right. Chris gave Y/N a quick hug from the back seat before he spoke.

“You good now kid?” He asked, she nodded and smiled back at him as Matt got in the car and pressed record. The four filming the video full of laughs and debates. Matt added in a little rant to the viewers on being nicer to Y/N and from that point forward, the hate comments had died down to the odd few from jealous fan girls.

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thefreakandthehair · 2 months

Text

apollo, who?

There are three absolute truths when it comes to Steve Harrington:

The first is that Steve is a gifted athlete.

The second is that Steve was born to thrive in the summertime.

And the third, much to Eddie Munson’s chagrin and horror, is that the combination of the first two truths will be his undoing. In public, no less, because the universe has apparently concocted a plan to let Eddie live but to make him suffer nonetheless.

Unloading the van had been easy enough— Steve grabbing the cooler stacked to the brim with soda, water, and snacks and Eddie watching as he’d trekked through the sand to where Robin and Nancy set up their chairs and beach umbrella. Most of the kids were long gone already, staking their claim with blankets and towels a few feet away from Robin and Nancy, leaving Eddie to snag the sunblock he’s basically been made to swear a blood oath to Wayne that he’ll apply generously over his scars.

He leans back over the passenger seat to grab it from the center console, along with his walkman and sunglasses, and when he turns back around, he stops dead.

Steve’s shirtless.

In the span of ten seconds, Steve’s already shirtless on the beach, nothing but swim trunks hanging from his hips, and Eddie realizes he’s underestimated how fucking beautiful this sight might be.

The edge of Lake Michigan laps at the rippled sands as Steve reels back and tosses a football that Eddie’s pretty sure materialized out of nowhere to Lucas a few yards down the shore. All of his freckles and moles and scars out on full display, the sun beats down on his tanned skin and uncharacteristically messy hair that Eddie’s watched slowly morph from chestnut to ash brown over the course of the season.

As Eddie applies his stupid sunblock, he lets himself stare unnoticed. Lucas throws what Eddie assumes is a good pass if Steve’s celebratory, “Great spiral!” means anything and when he puts on his sunglasses, it’s more to shield the blinding light of Steve’s smile than the sun. Maybe it’s cliche, maybe it’s overdone and contrived, but Eddie can’t stop himself from comparing Steve to a Greek fucking God.

Apollo, who?

El appears next to Steve and Eddie continues to watch— about three layers of sunblock in at this point because he’s lost track— as Steve demonstrates something. Holding the football in one hand, he points at the laces and seems to check in with El for understanding before handing it over to her and adjusting her grip slightly. When she attempts to throw it to Lucas, it falls short and lands in the sand just a few feet away from where she and Steve stand.

Eddie’s chest fucking swells as Steve trots over to grab it and simply hands it to her again, smile in place to counteract El’s pout. Three or four tries later, the ball flies straight enough for Lucas to catch it and Jesus H. Christ, Steve cheers like she scored a touchdown, or whatever the fuck it’s called.

He can’t leave the side of the van. If he makes his way down to the beach, it’ll be all over for him. He’ll have to hide in the water the entire time, and now there’s too much sunblock on his face to blame the inevitable flush on sunburn. It’s fine, he can hang back. Everyone looks preoccupied anyways and with any luck, no one will notice he’s not enjoying the surf and sand with everyone else until it’s time to leave—

“Eddie!”

Right, he thinks to himself. I have no luck.

Steve waves at him to come join, turning that sunshine smile directly at him and it’s a direct hit. Apparently, even on the opposite side of the sands, he’s still a goner.

“Eddie! C’mon, what’re you waiting for?” He calls out again, both hands resting on his hips.

It does nothing to quell his urge to stare at places friends aren’t supposed to stare at. As far as he knows, the only person to have picked up on his unfortunate crush is Nancy, who’d seemed to understand the importance of discretion and hasn’t said a word. If he can leave this beach day with his secret intact, he’ll chalk it up as a success.

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’!”

With a deep breath, he locks and slams the passenger door to the van and walks out onto the hot sand, barefoot with his sneakers in one hand, SPF 70 in the other, and sunglasses hung over his nose. Distantly, he recognizes the grittiness of the sand beneath his toes and the earthy scent of the freshwater stretching out for miles in front of him but more acutely, he just keeps his eyes on Steve.

Please let these glasses be tinted, he thinks.

“Finally, what the hell were you doing up there?” Steve asks when he makes it down the narrow path lines with tall grass.

“Aw, did you miss me, Big Boy?” Eddie drones with a smirk. If he just acts normal, no one will know the difference. It’s not like Steve ever flirts back—

“And if I did?”

He hasn't planned for that response. All he’s prepared for is a gentle eye roll, maybe a flustered laugh or furrowed brow, and now Steve’s shirtless, sun-baked, sweat dripping from his temple and suggesting he missed him.

What the fuck.

“Heads-up!” Lucas yells and Steve turns just in time to take two steps backward and catch the football coming in their direction.

There’s no way for Lucas to have known he’d just saved Eddie from something horrendously embarrassing, but he’ll find a way to thank him all the same.

“Ever throw a football?” Steve holds the oblong ball in one hand, wiggling it at shoulder height with a grin. “I taught El how to throw a spiral, so I think I can teach you, too.”

Okay, actually, he’s still being subjected to something humiliating.

“Sports have never really been my—”

“Don’t start with that, c’mere. It’s easy.” Steve gestures with a nod of his head for Eddie to join him further out on the beach and like a satellite to its orbit, he follows.

It takes way more attempts than it did El— something Max was all too quick to point out loudly— but he does eventually throw something that Steve considers a spiral. Maybe it would’ve taken fewer tries if Steve hadn’t insisted on standing directly behind him, adjusting his stance and grip with his chest damn near pressed against Eddie’s back.

Of all the unfair cards life has dealt him, this has to be the worst. More than once, he makes eye contact with Nancy who raises an eyebrow and smirks before returning her attention to whatever she and Robin are talking about.

Probably him. Him and Steve and his dumb, dumb, dumb crush that’s ruining his life. It’s fine.

When he finally throws the ball at an acceptable angle, Steve claps him on the shoulder and stands next to him, effectively draping an arm over both shoulders.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

He swallows and turns, breath catching his throat. All of the sun has brought Steve’s freckles to the forefront, a shade darker than usual with new tiny pinpricks of color appearing along his nose with a faint pink hue along his cheekbones.

If they weren’t in public, he’d do something very, very stupid. Instead, he clears his throat subtly and finds words.

“Sure, yeah, I’m a regular sports guy now, Steve. Guess I’ve gotta find something to teach you, huh? Y’know, return the favor?”

“I’ve always wanted to learn guitar. You can show me the basics some time. Or uh,” Steve grins and lowers his voice. “I’m sure there are some other things we can learn together.”

Eddie’s fully lost track of how many times he’s been caught off-guard so far today, but this one takes the cake. Steve’s fucking flirting with him. Actually flirting with him. Beating him over the goddamn head with it, really.

“Yeah! Yeah, uh, yeah,” he repeats, smooth. “To both, I mean. Yeah, to both.”

Steve squeezes his shoulder and unravels his arm with a hopeful expression.

“We’ll talk more when we aren’t surrounded by nosy shits, especially those two,” Steve nods at Robin and Nancy who wave with their fingers. “In the meantime, race you to the water?”

“What is it with you jocks?”

He barely has time to get the question out before Steve takes off, plunging into the water a solid foot before Eddie even reaches the shore.

“That’s cheating, Harrington!” He bellows, running through the sand to join him, heart thundering between his ribs and head still spinning from what just happened.

“Sounds like what I’d expect from someone who just lost,” Steve shoots back, taking a breath and submerging himself before popping back up.

Hair slicked back with the freshwater of Lake Michigan, Eddie watches as Steve runs both hands through it, then down his face and back into the lake. Water droplets glisten off his skin and Eddie wades a little closer, finding Steve’s hands once they’re submerged enough to disguise it.

“Oh, contraire,” Eddie muses. “I feel like I just won.”

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie fanfic #steddie fanfiction #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson x steve harrington #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #myblurbs

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