#thegayemo writing

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Title: Too Much Morality Will Cause Anxiety

Prompt from @alvodra : Always on the search for more Logan calming Virgil down and being the only one truly understanding anxiety, possibly with Patton messing up somehow

Summary: Patton causes Virgil a lot of anxiety but Logan is there to help Virgil through it.

Word count: 1630

Tag list: @prince-rowan-of-the-forest @ishipgenfics (let me know if you want to be added)

TWs: Mentions of alcohol, manipulation, anxiety, panic attacks, little unsympathetic Patton

AO3

Thomas paced around the living room, occasionally glancing down at his watch. There was a debate going on inside his head and it looked like he was losing. Thomas decided he might as well make this debate real.

“Can everyone meet me in the living room? Please it’s an emergency?” Thomas called out loud to summon his logic, morality, anxiety, and creativity.

First, his logical side, dressed in business casual as usual, popped into the room.

“Is everything alright, Thomas?” Logan asked with a slight face of concern. A few emotions slipped through his stoic face. Logan tries to keep an appearance of seriousness, but Thomas and the other sides know Logan does care a lot.

“I’m-" “THOMAS, ARE YOU HURT?!?” Patton rushed into the conversation, interrupting Thomas.

While Logan and Patton were busy trying to figure out what was wrong with Thomas, Virgil quietly snuck in. Like a cat, Virgil stood on the steps observing everyone, waiting for his opportunity to make his presence known. His purple eyeshadow glimmered in the light. As grumpy as he pretends to be, his eyeshadow clearly gave away that he was having a good day.

Finally, the most dramatic side appeared.

“Oh god! Thomas! This is really an emergency. Your hair is absolutely atrocious. This must be why you called us here so suddenly.” Roman summoned a hairbrush, “Don’t worry as the most stylish side I got you covered.”

“My hair isn’t why I called you all here.” Thomas tried to correct Roman, but Roman was not listening. He threw the hairbrush at Thomas. It flew through the air, then went straight through Thomas’ head. Roman tended to forget since he was part of Thomas’ mind that anything he summoned Thomas could not touch. Thomas blankly stared at his sides as the hairbrush fell onto the floor. “Still isn’t about my hair.”

“Are you sure?” Roman raised one eyebrow in a questioning matter, “Couldn’t hurt for me to teach you to style it.”

“Ok. Moving on. This is wasting time. Thomas, why have you called us here?” Logan huffed at Roman’s antics as he returned the floor to Thomas.

“Maybe he’s dying.” Virgil deadpanned.

Thomas continued talking about his emergency, ignoring the dying comment, “So there’s this party. And this really cute guy invited me to go. But I don’t know if I should actually go.”

Logan rolled his eyes, “You must learn what is a real emergency.”

“A party! With a cute guy! Thomas, you’d be insane to say no.” Roman happily said.

“I don’t know guys. Crowded places aren’t always the best setting for Thomas. We should politely decline and go under our covers instead.” Virgil said looking a bit uneasy.

“Oh, Virgil. Being a downer as usual.” Patton said, “Thomas as your side that is your happiness you have to go. Socialization is great. Plus if Virgil said no you automatically know to do the opposite. When is listening to anxiety ever good?”

“What if the cute guy doesn’t show? Do you know anyone else at this party? What if the host doesn’t want you there? Will there be alcohol or drugs? Who am I kidding, it’s an adult party of course there will be alcohol and drugs. What if you get taken advantage of while not completely in your senses?” Virgil’s eyeshadow turned to a slightly darker purple, all the glimmer disappeared.

“Now you are just being stupid, Virgil. Real life isn’t as bad as your mind tells you it is. Thomas, trust me. I’m your morality. Would I ever really do something to harm you? This party will be good for you, for all of us.” Patton glanced at Virgil, “It will be especially good for dear Virgil here. You know how a little bit of alcohol can take the edge off. Maybe a few drinks and the nagging voice in your head will calm down.”

Virgil’s eyeshadow turned another shade darker. The purple started to mix with black. The joy from Virgil’s eyes was long gone. “If you drink you might not be able to make a rational decision. How well do you know this cute guy? What if he has bad intentions?”

“Please don’t listen to Mr. Fearful over here. Virgil is overreacting. This isn’t even an argument. Everyone knows you should go to the party and you really want to.” Patton smiled at Thomas. Virgil knows that smile and recoiled a bit, pushing his hood over his head, “So you’ll go to the party, right? Wouldn’t you love a night off from anxiety?”

Thomas shifted from one foot to another, he could feel the tension. “I’m not so sure I want to go now.”

“It’s because of Virgil isn’t it?” Patton pointed his finger accusingly at Virgil, “Maybe next time only bring the important sides if you actually want to get anything done.”

The room got deadly silent for a second. The only sound to be heard was heavy breathing.

Virgil’s eyeshadow turned completely black. His eyes dulled in color as well. He wobbled a little as the room spun.

Logan took a step closer to Virgil, “Virgil, you are looking pale. Do you feel alright?”

Virgil promptly collapsed to the floor before sinking out.

Complete chaos broke out the second he disappeared.

Thomas was too stunned to talk. He’d seen Patton and Virgil not get along before, but never to this degree.

“What the hell, Patton?” Roman yelled at Patton.

Logan was trying to hold back his anger, “You crossed a line this time.”

“I didn’t say anything there rest of us weren’t thinking.” Patton shot back.

“I don’t have time for this. I’ll lecture you later.” Logan turned to Roman, “Make sure Thomas is alright. I’m going to check on Virgil.” Logan sunk out.

“Patton please leave”

“But kiddo”

“No. You’ve done enough.” Patton pouted, then left the room in defeat.

…………………………….

Logan appeared in front of Virgil’s door. “Hey, Virgil. Are you in here?” He knocked on the door and waited for an answer. A minute passed; No one answered. He knocked again, “It’s Logan. I’m concerned.”

He attempted to open to door since Virgil was starting to worry him. He twisted the knob; It was locked. “Please, Virgil. I am truly worried.”

Still no answer. Logan sighed and took a seat next to Virgil’s door, “I don’t know if you can hear me but I’m going to give this shot. Take a deep breath. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. Repeat. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.” Logan breathed in and out as he instructed Virgil on his breathing. He wanted to give off as calm of an aura as possible.

“Getting in touch with your senses usually works to help ground you. What are five things you can see? You don’t have to say them out loud if you don’t want to.”

Logan heard a few mumbles from the other side of the door. It sounded vaguely like, “Bed, plushies, lamp, door, fan.”

“Very good, Virgil. Now four things you can feel.” Logan felt an immense sense of relief hearing Virgil’s voice.

“Carpet, clothing, impending doom, coldness.” The door lock clicked open.

“May I come in?” Logan stood up, putting his hand on the doorknob. He waited for Virgil’s response.

It was quiet for a few moments, a small “yeah” was heard in the background.

Logan slowly opened the door. “Three things you can hear.” He said as he walked in.

“Door creaking, sound machine, your voice.” Virgil closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“You are doing great. Two things you can smell.”

Virgil started to sniff the room, “Lavender and your hand sanitizer.”

Logan sat down next to Virgil, “One thing you can taste.”

“Umm, my tongue I guess?” Virgil wiped his eyes, smudging his eyeshadow.

“Physical contact?” Logan asked.

“Yeah, I’m good with physical contact today.”

Logan took Virgil’s hand. He helped Virgil stand up and lead him to the bed. Virgil collapsed into Logan’s arms and started hysterically sobbing.

“I am just trying to protect Thomas and be helpful,” Virgil mumbled into Logan’s chest.

Logan rubbed circles on Virgil’s back, “I know. I think everything you said had a valid point. It is always important to think about safety.”

“I don’t understand why Patton hates me so much.”

“I do not see the logic in him hating you. We are a team. Targeting one of us will just be counterproductive.” Logan ran his fingers through Virgil’s hair, “Tomorrow I am going to give Patten a stern lecture.”

Logan heard a small laugh from Virgil. He looked up to meet Logan’s gaze, “You’d do that for me?”

Logan smiled, “Of course. You know I love a good lecture.”

Logan shifted Virgil off his lap and onto the pillow. He carefully slid off the bed.

Virgil reached for him, “Please stay.”

“I will be right back, I promise.” Logan went into the bathroom connected to Virgil’s room. He pulled out a container of makeup wipes from the draw. Logan gently took off Virgil’s eyeshadow to prevent it from ruining his bed or getting in his eyes.

Virgil’s eyes drooped in tiredness.

“I think it would be best to call it a night and go to sleep.” Logan pulled the spider web patterned comforter over Virgil.

Virgil reached out and tugged on Logan’s wrist, “Stay here tonight.”

“Of course, Virgil.” He pushed the comforter over and slid over it. Logan pulled Virgil into his arms and kissed his forehead. “Sleep tight, my dear.”

Virgil’s breaths eventually evened out as he fell asleep. Once Logan was sure Virgil was soundly asleep he pulled Virgil closer and fell asleep. Logan held onto Virgil all night to let him know was he always there for him.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #c!thomas #sanders sides fanfiction #thegayemo writing #ts logan #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #ts analogical #analogical

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

An Anniversary Worth Dying For

Summary: Tomorrow is Virgil and Logan’s fifth wedding anniversary. Logan has been hard at work creating Virgil a perfume that will have a calming effect to it. Unfortunately, the perfume and a poison Logan was experimenting with look very similar.

Pairings: Analogical (Virgil x Logan), background roceit (Roman x Janus)

TWs: Poison, major character death, grieving over death, hurt no comfort, warning this is an angsty one

Word count: 1358

Tag list: @prince-rowan-of-the-forest @ishipgenfics (let me know if you want to be added)

AO3

Logan has been locked away in his lab for the past few days. He is always secretive about his projects, especially when it has to do with me. Tomorrow will be our fifth wedding anniversary.

I walk past Logan’s lab for the ninth time today, hoping the door would be open. There is still a sign up that reads ‘Please do not bother me while I am working unless there is an emergency. An emergency only counts as one of the following: A fire has broken out in our house, you are seriously injured beyond needing a band-aid, or one of our close family members or friends has died or is in the hospital. If none of the above apply, please wait until I am finished to speak with me.’ It might not seem lovable at first glance, but Logan’s attention to rules has always been one of the reasons I fell for him. He has always been my stability in a world of chaos.

I let out a sigh when I see his door closed with the sign still up. I understand Logan’s work is important but I wanted to spend the evening watching a movie with him. It’s been a tradition of ours; Every year the night before our anniversary we would choose a historical movie to watch.

I’m letting the movie tradition slide for now, because I know he is currently working on a present for me.

As I’m aimlessly pacing around the halls, the door opens and Logan steps out. He looks disheveled, chemicals stain his lab coat. “Sorry I took so long. Were you waiting?” Logan asks before pulling me in for a quick kiss.

“I’m just a bit impatient,” I laugh as I answer.

“We’ll start movie night in just a few minutes. Let me shower and change out of my work clothes before we start.” Logan says before he disappears into our bedroom.

I know I shouldn’t, but curiosity gets the better of me. I look up and down the hall, making sure the coast is clear before I slip into Logan’s lab. The door gently shuts behind me.

On his work table, there are two identical bottles, both light purple in color, sitting next to each other. Near the top of the table is a label, in the same handwriting as the sign on the door, that reads ‘anniversary present for Virgil: Test number 67- perfume that smells like lavender while having a chemical compound that creates a calming effect to soothe nerves and anxiety.’ I smile to myself. I couldn’t have possibly picked a better person to spend the rest of my life with. Logan is the most thoughtful person I have ever met.

In the hallway, I hear our bedroom door open and then close. Logan’s voice blends into the background. I vaguely hear him calling my name. Before I sneak out of his lab one sniff of this perfume won’t hurt. Tomorrow I’ll pretend as if I have never smelled it before.

The door to the lab opens as I take a sniff of the bottle to the right. I quickly put down the bottle as he walks in.

“Virgil, what are you-” Logan stops short when he sees me holding the bottle. His face looks very worried, “Which bottle did you just smell?”

Oh shit. I didn’t want Logan to know I knew about his surprise. The room starts to shake, most likely from the anxiety of being caught.

“The right one. Why?” Some of my vision goes dark for a second. The room is spinning now.

“No. No. No. No.” Tears start rolling down Logan’s face as he rushes towards me. “This can’t be happening.”

I don’t understand what’s going on. The floor slips out from under my feet. I black out. A second later I woke up in Logan’s arms. His face is blurry as is everything in the room.

“L-Logan? What happened? Why are you crying? How did I end up on the floor? Why won’t the room stop spinning?” Red spots coat my vision. I take a deep breath only to feel a burning sensation in my lungs. I start to cough to try to get rid of the pain but it only makes it worse.

“I’m so sorry. This wasn’t meant to happen. Why did the bottles have to look so similar? I knew it was stupid to keep this failed experiment lying around.” Logan sobbed as he held onto me.

Every breath was excruciating. It felt like there was a hole burning through my lungs.

“I love you, Virgil.” My vision blacked out again as Logan repeated ‘I love you. I love you’ over and over again.

I tried to say it back but my vocal cords felt like someone lit them on fire.

“I lo-” After two syllables my voice cut out. Everything went dark for the last time.

………………….

The day before our fifth wedding anniversary was the worst day of my entire life.

I walked into my lab to find Virgil staggering after he sniffed a bottle of deadly poison. His death was completely my fault. Next to the poison was a bottle of anxiety-calming perfume. I was the idiot who put them side by side.

I ran over to Virgil. Tears already streamed down my face. Right as I reached him, he collapsed in my arms. Words tumbled out of my mouth. Streams of apologies. But no apology will ever make up for this. The love of my life is dead, and I have to live with the memory that I killed him.

I held him for 15 minutes before he died. His breath sounded like someone was strangling him. His face turned bright red and tears ran down his cheeks. His body convulsed as the poison took effect. His lungs breathed in a pattern that should not have been possible for a living being. Even during Virgil’s panic attacks, his breathing had never sounded this haggard.

15 minutes after smelling the poison, Virgil went limp in my arms. I pull his body closer, crying over his corpse. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. We had our entire lives to spend with each other. I’m never going to hear you laugh again. I’m never going to hear you make a snarky comment again. I’m never going to hear your dry humor or your sarcasm again. Please let this be a bad dream. I’m going to wake up and you’ll be there next to me alive and well, right?”

The funeral was small. It was only Roman, Remus, Janus, Patton, and myself. Virgil was never close to his family. We didn’t bother telling them he had died. I don’t remember much of the ceremony. I sobbed through the entire thing. Everyone held me tight and cried with me.

After a week I couldn’t stand the quietness anymore. At 3 am on a Tuesday, I rang Janus and Roman’s doorbell, then hysterically cried on their doorstep until they answered. Worried faces greeted me as they pulled me inside. Everything has been duller since you left. Roman wrapped me in a blanket. I sat sandwiched between the two of them for hours crying until I finally fell asleep. It was the first time in a week I slept more than 5 minutes.

The next morning when I was half asleep I heard Janus whispering on the phone. Two hours later, Patton and Remus arrived with a few boxes. Roman sat with me, running his fingers through my hair as they unloaded my stuff into the guest bedroom.

“We all think it would be best if you weren’t alone for a while,” Roman whispered to me.

My voice was hoarse from all the crying and screaming. The first real sentence I spoke in a week came out broken. “T-this isn’t re-real, r-right?”

Janus took my hand and gave me a look of pity, “I’m sorry, honey, but it’s real.”

I closed my eyes in defeat. There shouldn’t be any universe where I have to survive without my Virgil.

#thegayemo writing #sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #ts janus #ts remus #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #analogical #background roceit

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Just One of Those Days

Summary: Virgil is having a rough day but Roman is there to comfort him

Taglist: @diamondwind99 @c1rcus-c0re @thatboiblastey @nightmare4thebroken2 @ivaryn0 (Let me know if you want to be added)

Word count: 1398

Ao3

TWs: Mental health, anxiety mentions

“Maybe he needs some space.” Patton took a sip from his decaf tea as he watched Roman frantically reach for his phone, again.

“I know Virgil pretty well. If he needed space he would have texted me, not ignored all my texts from the past 24 hours,” Roman let out a sigh of desperation, “I just need to know that he’s okay.”

‘Hey, Stormcloud’ Sent: 4:56 pm

‘How was your day?’ Sent: 7:06 pm

‘Do you wanna see the cutest kitten and puppy cuddling I found on insta?’ Sent: 9:43 pm

‘It’s getting pretty late. Have a good night my Stormy Prince. I know you’re probably already asleep, but if you see this please respond I’m worried’ Sent: 1:35 am

‘Morning Virge!’ Sent: 11:57 am

‘Are you alright? You usually answer your texts pretty quickly’ Sent: 2:39 pm

The first six texts went unread without a response but Roman was willing to attempt a 7th time.

‘It’s not like you not to answer for this long. I’m coming over to make sure you are alive. If you hear the door open in around 15 minutes that’s just me.’ Sent: 4:36 pm

Roman dashed to his bedroom and grabbed the first shoes he could find. The left one was a red sneaker with gold specks on the side and the right one was a maroon slip-on. There was no time to worry about matching shoes.

On his way to the key rack, he collided head-on with his roommate.

“Watch where you are going, kiddo!” Patton playfully rolled his eyes as Roman gathered his things. “Are you going to Virgil? I thought I told you he needs space.”

“If he needs space he can kick me out once I know that he is alive. Virgil is practically glued to his phone. There is something off about him not responding.” Roman gave Patton a quick half-side hug before rushing out the door.

Upbeat Disney songs blasted through Roman’s earbuds as he jogged to Virgil’s apartment. Normally it would take Roman 20 minutes to walk there but his adrenaline got him there in less than 10 minutes.

He glanced at the broken elevator before murmuring a curse under his breath. Seven floors straight up, this ought to be fun he thought.

By the third floor, he could feel his heart quickly beating. By the sixth, he was ready to give up. The journey up the last flight felt like it took years. He finally arrived on the dreaded top of the building, floor seven.

Roman took the spare key that Virgil gave him for emergencies and opened apartment 714.

He glanced around, “Virgil? It’s me, Roman.” Finding no one in the living, he checked Virgil’s bedroom. The door was open ajar. The tv stood frozen with a sign that read “Are you still watching?” Virgil was curled up in the middle of his queen-sized bed looking dreadfully awake.

“Oh, Virgil,” Roman’s voice had a hint of softness to it, “Are you alright?”

Virgil blankly stared at Roman, seeming completely disassociated.

“Can you hear me?” Roman moved slowly to the edge of the bed and sat on the corner, giving Virgil a lot of space.

Virgil’s eyes shifted slightly upwards towards Roman, a sign Virgil could hear him.

“Blink once if you can talk, twice for signing, or three times if you rather not do either.”

Virgil blinked twice. He shifted to free his hands from underneath him.

“Would you rather us both sign, or you’ll sign and I’ll talk?” Roman asked Virgil.

‘You speak. I sign’ Virgil signed back to Roman.

“Ok, that works.” Roman pointed to the bed, “Can I join you?”

A flash of desperation spread across his face as he signed ‘Please.’ ‘Don’t leave me alone right now.’

Roman climbed into the bed. He shifted Virgil to lie down with his head in his lap. “This alright?”

Virgil nodded yes.

He wrapped his arms gently around Virgil. Virgil nuzzled into his chest. For a second, a sense of calmness brushed over Virgil. He looked up at Roman, ‘You smell nice.’

Roman leaned down to kiss his boyfriend’s temple, “I’m glad you find it comforting.”

……….

Buzz buzz buzz.

Roman’s phoned vibrated on the coffee table. His screen lit up with a picture of him and Virgil on a date.

“Hi, Dark and Stormy.” Sounding as cheerful as ever Roman answered the phone.

Virgil’s tone was very somber, “We need to talk…”

Roman paused then stuttered into the phone, “A-are you br-breaking up with me?”

“No, but I need to tell you something.” Roman sighed in relief, “Can you come over as soon as possible.”

Roman hung up the phone and then ran to Virgil’s apartment. The working elevator dinged open as soon as he reached to lobby. After two minutes of uncomfortable small talk with strangers in the elevator, he knocked on the door.

Virgil peeped through the small opening on the door. Once he saw his boyfriend on the other side, Virgil opened the door and led Roman to the couch.

“Is everything alright?!?!?” Roman said in one gasp. He quickly checked over Virgil to make sure he wasn’t injured.

Virgil patted Roman’s arm, “Don’t worry I am fine.”

“Why did you call me here? Not that I’m not happy to see you, it just sounded very urgent.”

Virgil took a deep breath before taking Roman’s hands in his own. “You know how sometimes I’m unable to talk for periods at a time.”

Roman nodded his head yes, not sure where Virgil was going with this.

“I have selective mutism. I started when I was adopted by my parents at around 5 years old. They took me to a psychologist and they were told I have a pretty bad anxiety disorder, general and social. After a few years of speech therapy, I started to talk a few words at a time.” Roman could sense this was hard for Virgil to tell him so he gave Virgil’s hands a light squeeze. “My anxiety disorders are much more under control than when I was a kid but sometimes I still find it too difficult to talk. Luckily my adoptive parents were the best. They never pushed me to talk when I wasn’t ready. All three of us started to take sign language lessons. My parents figured this would be the best solution for when I am unable to talk.”

Roman pulled Virgil into a hug, “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this.”

“After talking to my therapist for a few years, I was finally ready to tell you. That’s why I urgently called you over here. I wanted to tell you before I chickened ou-"

Before Virgil could finish his sentence, Roman blurted out “Could you teach me sign language?”

Tears welled up in Virgil’s eyes.

“I’m sorry. Was that offensive?”

Virgil pulled Roman closer and sobbed on his shoulder, “No it’s just that except for my parents no one has ever been nice enough to learn an entirely new language for me.”

“I’d do anything for you.” Roman’s eyes sparkled with love.

“You’re the best,” Virgil whispered under his breath before leaning in to give Roman a soft but sweet kiss on the lips.

……..

“Would you like to tell me what’s wrong?” Roman asked Virgil.

Virgil shook his head no.

“I understand. It’s just one of those days. I promise you, it will get better.” After years of dating Virgil, Roman learned his favorite form of affection was butterfly kisses. Roman leaned down and brushed his nose against Virgil’s.

The despair in Virgil’s eyes went down a level.

“Is there anything else I could do to comfort you?”

‘Cuddles. A lot of cuddles, please.’ ‘You’re so warm’ Virgil signed to Roman.

“That I can do!” Roman adjusted both of them so he would be spooning Virgil, “Now get some rest. If you need anything and I mean absolutely anything, remember I’ll be right here.” He pulled the comforter over Virgil and himself.

Virgil hummed in contentment.

Roman brushed his fingers through Virgil’s hair in a soothing motion. After a few minutes, Virgil’s body relaxed and he fell deeply into well-needed sleep.

Not sure if Virgil could still hear him, he whispered in his sleeping boyfriend’s ear, “I love you.” Not very long after, Roman drifted off into a deep sleep.

#virgil sanders #roman sanders #prinxiety #ts roman #ts virgil #sanders sides #ts fanfic #thegayemo writing

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Fatal Mistakes

Summary: Not everyone likes the royal family. Some aren’t afraid to take action. The youngest prince and heir to the throne happens to be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and it’s up to his knight to save him.

Tag list: @diamondwind99 @c1rcus-c0re @thatboiblastey @nightmare4thebroken2 @ivaryn0 (let me know if you want to be added)

Word count: 1661

Ao3

TWs: Blood, stab wounds, near death, weapons, passing out, alcohol, attempted murder

Frozen leaves crumble under his feet as he runs in fear. Voices crawl closer and closer until they scream in his ear. Ragged breaths pant at a quick pace. Anxiety takes over his entire rational mind. Fight or flight. And he chose flight.

Only ten minutes ago he was peacefully sitting in the tavern waiting for Roman. One sip of beer as he waits. A second to pass the time. The third because of boredom. Fourth, fifth, and sixth slip past his lips until three empty goblets spread across the table.

His hand pushes the shining gold pin out of place and onto the floor. His fur coat glides off his shoulders, onto its final resting place on the floor. The slight intoxication helps him forget to keep his royal emblem on his chest covered.

Eyes meet from across the tavern. A glance, a grin, sickeningly sweet, but devilish all at the same time. A second too late he realizes why all this attention came to be.

The glass shatters as he pushes the table aside to run. Air turns from warm to frigid. Bright lanterns become pitch black night. Heavy footsteps follow his every move. The snow takes the role of an enemy as his every step becomes a path to follow. Frozen feet tire out just in time to catch a root. Panic seeps through even colder than the snow.

Right leg gives out. Left leg follows closely behind. A flash of silver glimmers past his eye as he falls onto his back.

“I finally found you… Little Prince.” A rough voice growls at him with a weapon raised.

He tries to scream back but all that comes out is a defeated fearful whine.

Pain plunges through his chest. Eyesight blurs from a flash of red to a spark of silver. As the silver disappears from sight a trail of red drops down. Footsteps retreat into the abyss.

Blood covers his tunic. Beautiful purple fabric turns red, sticking to his skin. Snow becomes crimson and the world around him spins. Red flickers in and out until… until everything goes black and stops.

…………………………………

A gust of wind slams the tavern door open. A knight searches across the room only to be met with unfamiliar stares. Castle guards follow after him. They too met with disappointment and failure. The only familiar thing in sight is a luxury purple fur coat haphazardly thrown on the floor. The one they are supposed to protect has gone missing.

Hairs on the back of the knight’s neck prickle up. His senses alert him to the impending danger. Feet rushing back out the tavern door, sword drawn. The knight and his men follow the small prince-sized footprints leading deep into the woods.

A man holding a sword dripping with blood runs in the opposite direction never to be seen again. The knight orders his men to not go after the attacker. Their number one priority is the protect the prince. He could tell the prince doesn’t have much time left.

Footsteps halt to a stop when eyes make contact with a bloody scene. The knight sheaths his sword before he falls to his knees at the unconscious prince’s side.

The pale prince loses more color as his blood continues to flow from the stab wound. The knight presses two fingers against his prince’s wrist. His heart rate spikes at first when he doesn’t find a pulse. He tries the neck instead, a slow and shallow pulse beats. The knight sheds a single tear in relief that his prince is still alive.

“He is bleeding out. I need something to stop the bleeding until we can get back to the castle.” The knight finds his voice again after two many deafening moments of silence.

One of the guards sheds off his overcoat and hands it to the knight. He tightly secures the fabric around the prince’s chest to put pressure on the wound. The knight drapes his prince in a warm red and gold fur coat. He carefully scopes the prince into his arms. Maybe it is all the blood loss, but the prince seems much more small and helpless than his usual self.

The knight whispers into his prince’s ear, “Don’t worry Virgil. We are going to get you home and everything will be alright.” He’s not sure if Virgil could hear him, but it didn’t matter. The knight was more trying to reassure himself his prince would live to see another day.

The knight and his men rushed back to their horses outside the tavern in the stables. The knight gently passed Virgil to another guard as he climbed onto the horse. With the help of three guards, Virgil was lifted back into the knight’s tight embrace. As soon as he had a good grip on the prince his horse raced to the enormous castle in the distance.

Brutally harsh wind blows as the horse gallops down the dirt path. The castle becomes larger and larger with every passing step. Time seems to slow down. Blood seeps through the makeshift bandages wrapped around the prince. Every moment spent wrestling the unforgiving weather, the knight feels his prince slip away more and more.

As the knight and his men approach the castle, large doors hastily swing open while their old hinges squeak. Maids, butlers, servants, and other employees of the castle gather around to catch a glimpse of the fallen prince before he is rushed to his bed chambers.

The knight orders everyone to report back to their assigned positions. A maid hands him a med kit before scurrying away.

“Do me a favor, Virgil. Please don’t die.” A single tear runs down the knight’s face as he unravels the bloody fabric from his prince.

He starts by cleaning the wound. “I’m very sorry, my dear. This might hurt a bit. Maybe not in comparison to being stabbed, but still.” The knight pours sterilizing alcohol over the wound. Virgil unconsciously tries to move away from the knight as he lets out a painful cry. The knight grips his prince’s hand, “You are doing great.”

With proper bandages this time, he rewraps Virgil’s chest. The white bandages slowly turn red. The bleeding is no longer deadly but the prince has become incredibly weakened from the blood loss. Shallow breaths and slow movements of Virgil’s chest give the knight hope that he will survive. The knight lets out a tired sigh of relief before falling asleep on the chair next to the bed. He keeps his fingers intertwined with Virgil’s to keep him safe from any further harm.

…………………………..

Natural light streams through the open blinds. The room swirls as Virgil opens his eyes for the first in nearly two days. He rapidly sucks in air when his lungs forget how to breathe. Visions of swords and bloody snow flash through his mind. Eyesight blurs with tears and all he hears is static. Everything is cold. His bones feel as if they are made of ice. One wrong tap and his entire body might shatter to pieces. He tries to get out of the snow but the sword plunged through him before he can. He can feel his life slipping away. His last moment alone and dying in the woods. Pain shoots through his entire body. Every breath is agonizing. The static is replaced by crying. The crying in his head turns into real tears pouring out of his bloodshot eyes.

A warm voice cuts through the noise, “Virgil? Virgil!!!” A gentle hand gives his hand a reassuring squeeze, a familiar feeling. “Hey, Virgil. I’m right here.”

Eyes carefully peak open again, “Ro-Roman?”

“Right here, darling.” Roman pushes the hair flattened with sweat out of Virgil’s eyes. Virgil attempts to sit up and hug Roman. His chest flairs in pain before he can move very far, “Take it easy, my prince. You did just get a stab to your gut.”

“Is this a dream? I died! I bled out in the snow.” More tears rush down Virgil’s face.

“Luckily you have a courageous knight to save you before you could bleed out.” Roman’s heroic facade cracks in the middle of his sentence. Glossy eyes fill with tears of fear and exhaustion. “It’s my job to protect you and you nearly died.”

“I’m sor-“

“Please don’t apologize for nearly dying. It’s not your fault, Virgil.” Roman wipes a few of his own tears away.

“I can’t ask you to risk your life for me anymore; It isn’t fair. We will ask the castle to find a new head knight.”

“Virgil no… Please I’m sorry for nearly getting you killed while on my shift.”

“Let me finish. I don’t think you should be my personal knight anymore because I don’t ever want you to get harmed for me. I think it is time for you to join the royal family as my prince.” Virgil gives a sincere smile through his pain.

“If you are asking me to marry you I will definitely say yes but let’s try this again once you are thinking straight without a stab wound through you.” Roman leans forward and gives Virgil a half hug to avoid putting too much pressure on the wound.

“As long as you will still say yes when I’m not on the brink of death then I won’t mind waiting.”

“I will always say yes. But for now please rest and make a full recovery.” Roman makes his way to the door but Virgil grabs his wrist.

“Please stay.” Virgil pleaded, his voice still sounding defeated.

“Always” Roman carefully lays down next to Virgil, taking his hand in his own. Roman presses a kiss to the temple of his boyfriend. “Go to sleep. I’ll be right here.”

All the stress Virgil has been harboring falls away as he falls deeply into a peaceful sleep. Roman stays next to Virgil all night keeping his internal promise to never let anything hurt Virgil again.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #thegayemo writing #prinxiety #ts roman #ts virgil #ts prinxiety

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Since I’ve gotten a lot new followers I figured I’ll do a little intro post

Hello! I am thegayemo but if you don’t want to be so formal call me Virgil or L

I use they/he pronouns

I am proudly queer (gay, ace, arospec, nonbinary, genderqueer & trans)

I try to make my blog a safe space for everyone so hate or bigotry will not be tolerated here :)

I mainly am part of the Sanders Sides fandom where I make incorrect quotes and occasionally write

Currently I’m obsessed with making polls (if ur dash has been spammed with my polls not sorry)

Feel free to drop into my ask box to ask anything you want about me (anon is on)

#thegayemo talks #thegayemo intro post

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Introduction Post!

Hi to all the new followers or anyone that does not know me yet. I’m Virgil (they/them & he/him). I’m gay, queer, aro-spec, ace, genderqueer, non-binary, and trans. Shitposter and occasionally writer.

My blogs:

@virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo : this is my main blog. Here you will find all things Sanders Sides including incorrect quotes, art/writing reblogs, and my original fanfic writing

@virgil-sanders-reblog-sideblog : this is my side blog. I reblog memes, gay posts, Good Omens, Owl House, Heartstopper and my other random things here

@romancore : this is my Roman themed main blog. Everything here is completely centered around Roman Sanders including incorrect posts and art reblogs

@the-sanders-sides-correct-quotes : this blog is all correct quotes from the series

@roman-of-reston : this blog is centered around Roleslaying with Roman

My Writing:

Check out my Ao3: thegayemo

Master post on tumblr

#introducing myself #thegayemo

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

With You All the Way ch. 1

Summary: welcome to my new prinxiety au! Virgil fights with his brain over his identity

Taglist: @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @1stressedanddepressed @xoaningout @lily-janus @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @thebittybonesaddict @just-a-little-anxious @parksthefrog @randomacnhfan (ask if you want to be added)

Thank you to @lost-in-thought-20 for coming up with this amazing title!

Word count: 1486

TWs: cognitive distortions, anxiety, transphobia (not really but Virgil is over thinking)

Ao3

I’m Virgil Salem. Or at least I want to be Virgil Salem but no one knows that yet. As of right now, I’m Violet Salem. I’ve never liked that name and that name has certainly never liked me. I’m haven’t come out as trans to anyone yet, not even my boyfriend. I want to tell everyone I know that I am using he/him pronouns and changing my name but anxiety gets in the way. There is just too much unknown.

Will they judge me? Or even accept me? Do they hate trans people? Will they even believe I’m trans? What if I’m faking and I’m just your average whining girl who is desperately trying to claim she isn’t like other girls?

What if the name I choose is stupid? Are my friends going to walk away? What if I become the laughing stock of the school for being a wanna-be boy?

And then there’s Roman. He is the head of the theater department, lead in every single show. His voice sounds like angels and he is the most beautiful guy I have ever seen. He is perfect in almost every single way. A guy like him never had to deal with dilemmas like these. His identity is already figured out and he is confident as hell about it. That’s one of the things I love about him, he knows who he is and isn’t afraid to show it. That makes one of us. I want to be more like Roman one day. I guess I’m not as straight as I lead myself to believe. But Roman is dating me because I’m a girl. What if he dumps me since he isn’t gay? And there is his reputation… what would the school say about Roman dating another guy that tricked him to believe he is a girl?

Now I’m just being selfish. Roman is the best person that has ever walked into my life and I’m thinking about ruining that by telling him I’m a boy. The kids at my school at right, maybe if I thought more about others I would have more friends.

I sigh and push my long hair out of my face. Too long, too feminine. The thought of having a short masculine haircut is appealing but the fear of what-ifs keeps me from cutting it. My mom loves my long hair. She is always braiding it and telling me how beautiful I look with long hair. What kind of person would I be to take that away from her? My mom doesn’t have many people left, I would be a horrible person to take away her precious daughter.

It’s getting late. I should probably head to sleep before I spend another hour contemplating my identity and how or even if I will come out. But then again, what is one more hour? I couldn’t get my mind to stop racing even if I tried. Showing up to the first day of school like a zombie would not be new for me. People always say “Good sleep schedule equals a good life.” Well, I call bullshit on that. It’s probably true but I will never get enough to find out. My brain could keep me up for days if it tried. There is always a new situation to be anxious over. The only time my brain will stop racing is when I’m dead. And if the expanded life cycles are correct I probably got another 70 to 80 years until I have a quiet brain.

I glance at my clock. Dammit, 12 am already. Only 6 and a half hours but I have to get up for school. Time really ticks by fast yet but slowly when you are overthinking literally every single fucking thing that could ever go wrong at any moment. It’s tiring yet it keeps me awake.

Great, this just adds to the growing pile of things I am anxious about. I’m starting 11th grade in eight hours, my gender isn’t as cis as I thought, my sexuality isn’t as straight, and I have no clue how anyone will react to this. I guess it’s time to save goodbye to my easy life. Things have gotten so much more complicated. I blame my brain for suggesting I didn’t have to be a girl. Maybe I could have been normal but no.

Everyone’s going to hate you, Virgil.

I know. I know. Shut up!

You are living a lie. No matter what you are screwed.

Can’t you stop for like one day? I already know I’m screwed. This isn’t exactly no information. But how the hell am I living a lie.

If you don’t come out to anyone, you are falsely letting them believe you are someone who you are not. That is probably a federal crime somewhere. But if you tell them, you have to deal with the guilt of lying to your friends for so many years.

Oh no. I have been lying to all of them. A federal crime? This isn’t that serious, it is? So basically, I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Absolutely fantastic. No matter what I do, I’m going to start this year with everyone hating me.

Might as well get liar tattooed on your forehead.

One fucking second of peace and quiet is all I ask.

I am your brain. Any noise you hear is the emotional turmoil running through you. This again with the blaming other people. You are causing yourself to stress out, not anyone else.

Why are brains so annoying? I slam my head down onto my desk in a huff. Maybe I’ll pass out from this. There’s a better chance of that than actually falling asleep. A nice concussion would be good right about now. I wouldn’t have to deal with school then.

Footsteps shuffle in the hall and stop at my door. A quiet knock, two knocks, three knocks echo to my ears, “Violet, sweetie. Are you alright? I heard a bang?”

Hearing my actual name is painful. I can’t blame people for using it if I never said otherwise but I still hate it.

Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.

“I’m fine, mom.” Maybe she will believe me and walk away.

“Oh, alright.” She says but stays at my door, “Can I come in? I know it’s a big day tomorrow and you are probably anxious.”

I don’t have a choice, do I? “Fine. You can come in.” She smiles as she slowly opens the door.

Dammed if you do. Damned if you don’t. My brain sings at me in a taunting way.

“Violet. It is very late. You know you shouldn’t be up this late on a school night. We need to adjust you back to a normal sleep schedule, baby girl.” She pulls the hair out of my face and ties it into a neat ponytail. It hurts, physically hurts. Between the hair and the nicknames, I hate it. But pretending everything is fine will get her to leave faster.

“I’m just a bit anxious for the start of school.” A fake smile can get you pretty far in life. Well, that’s what my mom told me. It seems like pretty shitty advice to tell a sixteen-year-old.

“Oh don’t worry, sweetheart. We go through this every year and it always turns out fine. You are just stressing yourself out and need to take a breath.” Her smile is warm and welcoming, but it seems fake. The nicest is only skin deep, “Just remember you are my strong girl and can accomplish anything you set your mind to. This year isn’t different than any other year. You’ll be fine.” Her words sound sincere but her tone destroys me. This year is going to be very different than any other year. Every other year I was your pretty little princess but not anymore.

Your mom really loves her little girl. Too bad that isn’t really you. Would you even be worth her love if you weren’t a girl?

I don’t know. “I know, mom.” My mom nudges me until I climb into bed and she tucks me in. On her way out she shuts off the lights and closes the door almost all the way.

“Sleep well my pride and joy. Don’t let your brain keep you up too long.” Without another word her footsteps fade down the hall. Like she knows anything about my brain.

I close my heavy eyes and start to drift into a peaceful sleep. That was sarcasm if you couldn’t tell. I never have a peaceful sleep. Just anxiety, nightmares, and overthinking. Tonight isn’t going to be any different than any of the other nights. Just like this year will suck like every other school year. But with more losing friends due to you lying about your gender for years, years, and so many more years.

#ts virgil #virgil sanders #ts roman #roman sanders #sanders sides #prinxiety #ts prinxiety #ts fic #thegayemo writing

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Five to Form a Family ch. 3

After Midnight

Summary: The kids have a rough first night

Taglist: @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @1stressedanddepressed @xoaningout @lily-janus @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @thebittybonesaddict @just-a-little-anxious @parksthefrog @randomacnhfan (ask if you want to be added)

Word count: 1485

Ao3

TWs: Nightmares, panicking

Previous chapter

A soft whine fills Logan’s ears. He pushes the pillow closer to his head and decides to ignore the sound. It’s probably just the whistling of the heat. The sound continues for the next few minutes, gradually getting louder and louder.

Logan quietly sighs and pushes himself out of bed. He follows the sound to his youngest brothers’ room. Once he registers the noise as his baby brother crying, he rushes to comfort Virgil. Logan pulls the small shaking lump of blankets into his lap. “I am going to pick you up. Don’t be alarmed,” He whispers to Virgil as he scoops him into his arms, blanket and all.

The pile of blankets sobs as he places it on his bed. Virgil peeks his head out, his eyes are puffy and red. Tears stream down his cheek and his breath ragged.

‘What is wrong?’ Logan signs to him. Virgil keeps quietly sobbing and doesn’t sign back. After a minute Logan realizes what he did wrong. He must be very tired. He reaches over to the light switch and turns on the lights. That was stupid of him. Of course, Virgil would not be able to see the signs in the dark.

“What the actual fuck…” A sleepy voice growls from the other side of the room, “It’s way past fucking midnight. Turn that off!”

“I would, but I cannot properly communicate in sign language in the dark.” Even when tired, Logan still sounds like a nerd.

“Oh,” Janus’ tone lightens when he sees a teary-eyed Virgil. He acts all rough and tough and ready to fight but Janus has a huge soft spot for his brothers, especially the baby of the family.

‘What is wrong?’ Logan signs it again, but this time Virgil can read it.

‘Nothing.’ Virgil quickly signs an answer before ducking his head back in Logan’s chest.

“Hey!” Janus glares at Virgil, “Lying is my thing. Tell us what is wrong.”

Virgil wipes his tears away before giving a real answer, ‘I do not like new places. Very scary’

Logan rubs circles on Virgil’s back, “It’s alright, Virgie. I know it’s scary but we are all here for you. Would you like to talk about why it’s scary? Then maybe we could break it down piece by piece to make all of this a little less terrifying.”

‘Ok.’ Virgil lets out a long exhausted breath, ‘I woke up not knowing where I am. Mommy isn’t here to comfort me and there is a random man staying with us.’ His hands start to shake with nervousness.

Logan gently grabs Virgil’s hands to steady them, “What if you sleep here tonight? I will be right by your side if you forget where you are or need comforting. Okay?”

Virgil nods his head and snuggles into Logan’s arms. Logan hands Virgil his plushie and tucks both of them in. Slowly Virgil falls into an uneasy sleep. Logan stays awake just in case Virgil needs anything.

………..

Roman wakes up to a loud noise, no full-on screaming coming from above him. He glances around the room, trying to locate the possible threat to his brothers. Empty bed, screaming Remus. Wait… Empty bed? Virgil’s missing!

Roman sprints across the hall and bursts into the teenagers’ room, already hyperventilating.

“It’s your turn.” Logan covers Virgil’s ears to make sure the noise doesn’t wake him up. Janus hisses at Logan before going to Roman.

“Care to explain why you are bursting into my room, hysterical crying this late at night?” Janus leads Roman to his bed and sits down next to him. He isn’t the best with emotions.

“Virgil has has been kidnapped and Remus is screaming for dear life.” Roman clings onto his brother, much to Janus’ dismay.

“First of all, Virgil has not been kidnapped. He is having a rough night, seems to be a common theme here, and is with Logan. Second, couldn’t you at least try to calm your twin down?” Janus rolls his eyes.

Roman’s lip quivers, a tear then five then a whole stream rush down his face, “I-I tried but it’s never good enough. I’m I’m a horrible brother and an even worse person.” He tries to dart out of the room and find a place to hide but Janus grips onto his hand before he makes it past the door.

“I did not mean to further upset you, Ro.” He pulls Roman into his arms, “Our parents getting arrested and us moving in with a stranger is getting to me a little. I apologize for belittling your efforts. I sometimes forgot you are only 10.” Roman gives Janus a tight hug before dragging him to the screaming Remus.

Janus climbs halfway up the bunk bed ladder, tapping Remus until he wakes up. Remus shoots up, his face looks like he just met the devil, “Can I sit here?” Remus doesn’t respond but he slides over to give Janus room, “Whatever you were dreaming about it, it’s not real. It’s just a dream.”

“It’s not real? We didn’t really get ripped away from our house and our parents.” Remus smiles a little, “It was all just a nightmare. I made up this funniest person named Patton.”

“Remus…” Janus tries his best to hold a straight face, not upsetting Remus any further is his number one priority, “We are living with an adoptive parent and our parents really did get arrested.”

“Oh. So this is actually real.” Remus has always had trouble distinguishing the real from the imagery. For a second he really believed all of was made up and he could hug his parents again. Janus pats Remus on the shoulder, he isn’t the biggest fan of physical contact but is willing to make exceptions for his brothers. Remus collapses into Janus’ arms and holds him like the world is falling apart.

“I fear we may fall off the bunk bed. Could we continue this back in my room?” Remus doesn’t want to move but he also doesn’t want to be left alone, so he agrees to follow Janus. Janus climbs back down first. Remus starts to climb down but trips over the third rung of the ladder halfway down. He falls off, but luckily Janus was excepting this and catches his brother before he can hit the ground. With Remus secured in his arms, he goes back to his own bed. Roman follows them both like a lost puppy that hates to be left alone.

Before Janus can even sit down, Remus is fast asleep in his arms. He places Remus next to him and quickly joins him in the wonderful land of sleep.

Roman looks back and forth between his older brothers’ beds, trying to decide where to go. He tiptoes over to Logan and squeezes between his siblings. A tired voice whispers to him, “Rough night, too?”

“Yeah…” Without another word, Roman falls asleep holding on to his younger and older brother. The rest of the night everyone sleeps soundly. Well everyone but Logan. He stays up to watch over his younger brothers. It is his job to be the protector and they can’t be protected if he’s unconscious.

………..

The smell of pancakes and bacon drifts into Logan’s nose as he wakes up from his very light sleep. Around 5 am he couldn’t manage to stay awake anymore. He wriggles his arm free of Roman and quietly slips out of the room. Logan makes sure his siblings stay asleep, they need the rest.

“Morning, Logan!” Patton flips a pancake as he cheerfully waves at Logan, “How did you sleep?”

“I slept quite well, thank you for asking.” Logan is not nearly as good at lying as Janus. Even if his words were convincing, the bags under his eyes said otherwise.

Patton gives Logan a concerned ‘I don’t believe you’ stare, “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. It’s fine.” Logan gratefully takes a cup of coffee from Patton, “Just was a rough night for my brothers. They are having trouble adjusting. The younger ones are in Janus and my room if you get worried that they aren’t in their beds.”

“Thank you for telling me.” Patton gives a warm smile to Logan, “I know it’s hard to see now, but I promise things will get easier for all of you. It will just take time. Would you like a hug?”

Logan is about to decline Patton’s offer, but he could really use one right now, “P-please.” His voice cracks and his robot facade shatters into a million broken pieces.

Patton hugs his new son tightly, Logan quickly hugs him back as he begins to tear up. This is the first time in a while Logan is being hugged by a parental figure. It is alright to break down since his brothers are not around. He does not want them to see him like this. He has to remain strong for them.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #ts fic #thegayemo writing #ts janus #ts remus #ts roman #ts virgil #ts patton #ts logan

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Cake and Impersonating Your Enemies

Summary: Dukeceit fluff for Janus’ birthday

Taglist: @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @1stressedanddepressed @xoaningout @lily-janus @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @thebittybonesaddict @just-a-little-anxious (ask if you want to be added)

Word count: 1269

Ao3

Janus pushes his face deeper into the pillow as the sun streams through his window. It is the worst day of the year, again. He can’t believe this day came so quickly back around. His birthday. Birthdays over at the light sides part of the mind are a sacred celebration. Patton and Roman always make sure every birthday is perfect. Unfortunately, Janus is not one of them. The light sides had forbidden Janus or Remus from celebrating their birthdays. They would hate for the dark sides to feel special, even just for one day.

Janus takes this very harshly. He plans on sleeping the entire day. Remus, on the other hand, does not give a shit what the light sides say.

“Sneky! Sneky! Sneky!” Remus tosses the covers off of his grumpy boyfriend. Janus grumbles under his breath while trying to hide behind his arm, “Wake up! Don’t you know what day it is?”

Janus glares at Remus, “You shouldn’t throw someone’s blanket off them. I could have been naked under there.”

“Like I haven’t seen that before.” Janus hisses and chucks a pillow at him, “Come up! Birthday celebration starts now. Fuck the light sides.” Remus pulls Janus off the bed into a hug.

“Fine.” Janus sighs in defeat. Maybe one birthday wouldn’t be that bad.

“We can do anything you want today.” Janus lights up at that.

“Anything, huh? Well then. I have a few ideas, that may or may not have to do with the light sides.” The gears in Janus’ mind start to plot how to get back at the light sides while having the best birthday possible.

“Tell me, snake boy!” Janus summons a whiteboard to write out his plan.

“We are going to make a cake.” Janus draws a small cake in pink and circles it. This doesn’t seem like the most evil of schemes at first glance, but it is more mischievous than it appears. The light and dark sides share a kitchen but the dark sides are forbidden from making anything for a celebration. Patton is very strict about this rule. There is only one way around this, “We need to impersonate two of the light sides to get into the kitchen. Today happens to be the day Roman is taking Patton to the Imagination as a thank you gift for something, I didn’t care to get all the details.”

The last part isn’t quite true. Janus knows exactly why Roman is taking Patton into the Imagination but he might as well save his dignity and pretend he didn’t learn that information. When Janus gets bored he has a bit of a habit of stalk-no, information gathering from the light sides. He can’t really be blamed, Remus is great company, but their side of the mind palace gets lonely.

“Here’s the plan: I will impersonate Patton and you will pretend to be your brother.” Janus adds a light blue and red stick figure next to a door label ‘Imagination’, “While I work on the shapeshifting and potions to look like Roman and Patton. I need you to steal a few things from them to perfect our appearances.”

“Yes! I love stealing stuff. Especially from Roman.” Right as Remus is about to sink out to Roman’s room, Janus stops him.

“Not so fast Dukey.” Remus whines that he wants to steal already, “At least let me explain what I need you to steal first. We are going to an exact copy of both of their regular day outfits. Along with Patton’s extra glasses and Roman’s spare crown.”

“I’m on it, Captain.” Remus salutes to Janus as he sinks out. While Janus waits for Remus to return, he creates small sketches on the whiteboard of little green Remus stealing from the light sides. Janus would never admit it out loud but he is a bit of an artist.

A few minutes later, Remus returns with the stolen items along with a few extra things to mess with Roman. He puts the glasses on Janus’ face and laughs.

“Do I look that bad?” Janus asks self-consciously.

“You look like a nerd, Sneky.” They both break out into hysterical laughter, “Now time for committing crimes!”

“Oh eager, are we?” Janus lightly makes fun of Remus as he transforms into the dad-like side. His scales are replaced with freckles and his dark black greasy hair is replaced with fluffy brown curly hair.

“Yellow does not suit Patton at all.” Remus tosses Janus the clothes he stole from Patton’s wardrobe, “Only hot people can pull off the yellow.” Janus’ cheeks flush a ruby red.

“Here drink this.” Janus hands Remus a bubbling potion swirling with red and gold. Without hesitating Remus chugs it down as if it is a shot.

“I feel funny.” Remus tetters back and forth, falling into Janus’ arms. The white streak in his disappears turning into auburn brown hair. He shrinks an inch and his mustache disappears. Janus helps Remus back to his feet, “I’m good now. I thought for a second you were trying to poison me, snake boy.” Janus chuckles before heading off to his bedroom to get changed.

As Remus is putting Roman’s crown on his head, Janus comes stumbling out of his room in full Patton attire, “Why does he have such bad eyesight?” Janus takes Remus’ hand for balance as he sinks them into the kitchen.

They gather the ingredients, occasionally ‘accidentally’ bumping into each other. Janus claims it was the lack of sight from the glasses but Remus knows that isn’t true.

Flour is over the floor, sugar dusts the counters, and every single cabinet is open. Janus pulls the cake out of the oven and sets it on the cooling rack.

“Now for the best part….. decorating!” Janus smiles as he pulls out frosting and mini chocolate chips. He coats the base of the cake in vanilla frosting, letting Remus do the honors of placing the topping on it. He turns around to be surprised as Remus places the treats on the cake. He excepts something disturbing from the amount of laughter coming from Remus but the picture in chocolate chips is simply obscene, “I love it, Remus. Just like you.”

“There is some frosting left. And ya know there is only one thing to do with leftover frosting.” Remus takes a scoop of frosting and smears it Janus’ lips, “Wait! Don’t lick it off.” Janus gives his boyfriend a confused look, but quickly understands why. As Remus leans in to kiss the frosting off of his lips, they both hear a small hurt gasp coming from the bottom of the steps.

Light footsteps attempt to storm angrily over to the two of them, “Ro-Roman?” Virgil’s voice breaks, “You’re you’re cheating on me?”

“Oh shit,” Remus mumbles under his breath to Janus.

Virgil holds back his tears as he goes to rip Patton off his boyfriend. He stops short once Roman is facing him, “Why do you have a mustache? Roman doesn’t have a mustache.” Virgil shoves Remus into Janus and runs back up the stairs screaming for Logan.

Janus grabs the cake with one hand and Remus with the other, “Well this seems like a good sign to head home.” He sinks out with Remus before Virgil or Logan can come back.

Back in the dark side dining room, Janus cuts them both a piece of cake, “Thank you for a great birthday. I forgot how good they could be.”

“Anything for my scaly boyfriend.” Remus pulls Janus closer by his collar, whispering, “May I?” Janus eagerly nods before closing the gap and kissing Remus.

#happy birthday janus! #janus sanders #remus sanders #ts janus #dukeceit #romantic dukeceit #ts dukeceit #ts remus #ts fic #thegayemo writing

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Horror Movies and Panicking

Prompt from @1stressedanddepressed

Summary: Janus and Virgil watch a movie for date night but it doesn’t go as planned

Taglist: @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @1stressedanddepressed @xoaningout @lily-janus @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @thebittybonesaddict @just-a-little-anxious @parksthefrog @randomacnhfan

Ao3

Word count: 598

TWs: Dissociation, panicking, derealization

“What if we watch Heathers?” Virgil scrolls through Hulu, trying to find a good movie to watch.

Janus shakes his head and steals the remote, “Remember our deal, my dear emo? 1st and 3rd week of the month you choose the movie but 2nd and 4th week I choose. Oh and look at that. It’s the 2nd week of the month. That means I am choosing.”

“Great.” Virgil rolls his eyes playfully, “Let me guess, another murder mystery?”

“Not today…” Janus scrolls to the horror section and finds the scariest movie he can find, “It is about time you learn to like the art that is horror films.”

Virgil leans into his boyfriend as the movie begins. It starts quiet. Too quiet. Eerie, almost.

20 minutes later, once the plot got set in motion, Virgil began to get uneasy. In and out. In and out. He breathes. He must stay calm for Janus. It’s just one movie and one night. He’ll be fine.

The killer jumps from behind a stack of hay bales with a sharp knife. This is fine. Virgil’s hands quiver, his breathing staggering just a little. He promised himself he will make it through the movie and he intends to keep that promise.

A hand grips down on his shoulder. He shrieks, then jumps back, “Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!”

Janus quickly turns off the movie but Virgil is too far gone to notice. He repeats it again, and again, and again, “Turn it off. Turn it off. Turn it…”

Janus pulls Virgil into his lap, “Hey can you hear or see me?”

Virgil remains unresponsive, “I’m going to die. It’s in the apartment.” His hands pull at his hair.

“No! None of that,” Janus gently takes Virgil’s hands. He taps a 4-7-8 pattern to remind Virgil to breathe, “Focus on me. I’m real. The movie is not.”

“You’re real,” Virgil’s eyes are glazed over, almost like a lifeless zombie.

“Yes, I am real. Can you name five things you see for me?” Janus keeps tapping on Virgil’s hand.

Virgil looks back and forth, “Ummm you, pop-popcorn, the the, I don’t know!” His hands find their way back to his hair. Janus pulls them back down.

“You are doing great, Sweetheart. Keep breathing. Name four things you can feel.” Janus grabs the blanket on the back of the couch and wraps Virgil in it.

“Couch, scared, your hands, my hoodie.” Virgil takes another breath as he answers.

“Remember this is real. You are real and the movie is not. Now, three things you hear please.” Janus says.

“Your voice, the rattling of the ceiling fan, and car horns.” Virgil puts his head again Janus as his chest stops hurting from the lack of breathing, “Thank you. I feel a bit better now.”

“I’m sorry, Virgil. I shouldn’t have forced…” Virgil puts his finger against Janus’ lips to cut him off.

“You did not force me to do anything. I should have told you I don’t mix well with horror movies.” Janus wipes the leftover tears off his boyfriend’s face.

“But I…”

“Not. Your. Fault.” Virgil practically growls at Janus.

“I still need to make it up to you.” Janus summons a blanket fort filled with plushies, “As an apology, we cuddle for the rest of evening?”

Virgil quietly laughs. Janus takes this as a yes and carries Virgil into the fort. Virgil snuggles into Janus’ arms, resting his head on Janus’ shirt, “We should do this more often.”

“That could be arranged,” Janus smirks flirtatiously before kissing Virgil on his forehead.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #janus sanders #ts anxceit #anxceit #thegayemo writing #ts fic #ts janus #ts virgil

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Five to Form a Family ch. 1

Written for @jervis-tetch-my-beloved

Prompt: Patton adopts a bunch of chaotic child

Summary: Patton’s adoption goes through. He has a meeting with Emile Picani, the owner of the adoption agency, about his new kiddos

Chapter one of my new au :)

Taglist: @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @xoaningout @1stressedanddepressed @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @lily-janus @thebittybonesaddict @just-a-little-anxious (ask if you want to be added)

Thank you to @lost-in-thought-20 for coming up with the title

Word count: 1522

Ao3

Patton paces back and forth, glancing occasionally at his house phone. He’s awaiting the one phone call that will change his life. Patton has always wanted a family. He tried for many years to find a girlfriend but after a few failed relationships, he realized he is gay. After this realization, Patton attempted to find a boyfriend to start a family with him. Some were afraid of commitment and some left without a reason. Another self-discovery led Patton to realize he is aromantic. It all clicked why his attempts at romantic relationships never worked out.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Patton rushes to the phone, “Hello. This is Patton Sanders.”

“Hiya, Patton! This is Emile Picani calling back from the adoption agency. I am calling to give you an update on your adoption status…” Dr. Picani says in a calm and professional voice.

Patton covers the microphone on his phone and squeals in excitement. He takes a deep breath before responding, “Yes?”

“Your application has been approved but as of right now we do not have a match for you. As soon as we find a child we feel will be a good fit, we will give you a call.” Dr. Picani smiles, he knows Patton will be a great father.

“Thank you for letting me know. Have a nice day.” Patton hangs up, letting out a cry of joy and sadness. He is excited his application is approved but he really thought this call would be the one that said he would no longer be alone. He wipes away the single tear and heads to bed. Maybe tomorrow will be his day.

…………..

The bittersweet feeling settles into Patton’s heart as he sleeps. He dreams of a future family to keep him company.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Patton’s toddler reaches up to his dad and begs for his attention.

“Hi there, kiddo!” He scoops up his kid and gives them a large hug.

“Can we pwease go to the park?” They give the cutest pout as they stare into Patton’s soul.

“Of course, we can, kiddo. Go get a sweatshirt. It’s a bit chilly out, then we can go.” Patton puts his kid down and they run upstairs to get a hoodie.

They hop back down the stairs wearing a green and blue dinosaur hoodie. “I’m ready!” Patton’s kiddo races him to the door.

At the park, they make friends with all the other kids. Patton joyfully watches from the side. He’s glad he can give his kiddo such a happy life.

Patton wakes up to a wet pillow. His bloodshot eyes sting from all the crying. His dream was so sweet. He hates that. The dream seemed so wonderful and real but it was just a dream. Patton longs for his own family.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

No. Not right now. Patton ignores the call. Who even calls at 8:30 am on a Saturday? The caller ID identifies the call as Emile’s Adoption Agency. Patton shoves down his tears and picks up the call before it can go to voicemail.

“Patton! I’m glad I caught you. I have some great news!” Patton’s heart speeds up.

“What is it?” He tries to not sound too eager but fails miserably.

“We have found a match for you. You seemed like the best fit for all of them.” Dr. Picani’s pen scratching is quietly heard in the background.

Did he hear that correctly? “I’m sorry. All of them? I am getting more than one kid?” Patton has always dreamed of having one child but having a few little kiddos sounds even better.

“Well, yes. This adoption may be a big commitment but I feel you are up to it. There are 5 siblings that need a home. Child Protective Services got called the other day after their parents were arrested for money laundering. We checked their records, there were no other living relatives or guardians.” Dr. Picani pulls up their profile, “We really do not want to separate any of them. Would you be up to adopting 5 kids instead of one?”

“Yes! Absolutely!” Patton doesn’t even hesitate. Even though five kids may be a big responsibility, he is not giving up his chance to be a dad.

“Great! Does tomorrow work for me to stop by and discuss each of the kids? I do warn you, this is a bit of a difficult bunch.” Dr. Picani prints out all the information and puts it in his backpack.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m up for the challenge. 2 pm work?” Patton asks.

“That is perfect. See you tomorrow, Patton.” After hanging up, Patton bounces around his living room. After 20 years of trying to find a family, he will finally have one.

………….

Dust the bookshelves, clean off the table, and straighten up the living room. Patton has not had company in such a long time. His house isn’t that messy, but it could be much cleaner.

1 pm. Only one more hour until he arrives. Patton brushes his hair and puts on a presentable outfit that isn’t his scrubs. His years of med school debt finally paid off once he got his dream job as a neurologist at 30 years old. For the past 10 years, Patton has been saving his money for when he finally had a family. He bought a large 4 bedroom house but for the longest time, he had no one to share it with. Two of the bedrooms remain empty, but not for long.

The doorbell rings. Patton fixes his collar and goes to answer it. He can’t believe an hour passed already as he reminisced. Patton opens the door to a smiling Emile Picani, “Come in. Come in.” Picani sets down his Steven Universe backpack and takes out a stack of paperwork.

“Before we sign all the paperwork, I wanted to fill you about all the kids.” Picani shows Patton a picture of a teenager with square glasses, “This is Logan. He’s the oldest at 16. Logan is highly intelligent and very protective of all his younger brothers. He is the one that made us promise to not separate any of them. Logan has problems with overworking and perfectionism.” He lets out a small laugh, “He will be the least of your problems. From what the social workers me told, Logan is very well behaved.”

“This is Janus.” Patton looks over at another teenager with scars down the left side of his face, “As far as we know, the scars are from an accident when he was a kid. But we could not get more information on that. Janus is 13. He has a bit of trouble telling the truth. Janus is known for lying when around adults. He also had major trust issues.”

“These are the twins, Roman and Remus.” Picani points to who is who. “Roman has slighter lighter hair and Remus has a white streak in his hair. Except for that, they are completely identical. They are 10. Remus has some pretty several intrusive thoughts and Roman’s self-confidence is shaky.”

“Oh boy, this will be quite a challenge. But it will be worth it to give these kiddos a good loving home.” Patton looks over the pictures of his new kiddos.

“Wait, there is one more. The baby of the family.” Picani passes Patton a picture of a small child clutching a teddy bear, “This is Virgil. He is 6 years old. He has severe general and social anxiety. And he is mute. All five of the children are fluent in American Sign Language. I noticed on your application, you studied sign language in college.”

‘Yes, I did.’ Patton signs back to Picani.

“Perfect! This is one of the major reasons I decided to call you first. They all will feel right at home here!” Picani takes out the paperwork and a pen, “Just a few signatures and a few questions, then we will schedule when it is best to bring the kids over.”

Patton puts his signature on over 50 pieces of paper as Picani asks him a few questions, “What are the sleeping arrangements?” He takes out a notepad.

“I have two extra bedrooms. Logan and Janus will get the slighter smaller bedroom. The twins and Virgil will share the larger bedroom.” Picani writes it down, liking what he is hearing.

“Do you have the income and mental capacity to take care of five children?” Dr. Picani asks.

“Yes, I have been a neurologist at the same job for 15 years. I am very ready to take this step and take care of five children. Life has been lonely lately. I’m excited to share my life with others.” Patton’s smile shines with excitement.

“Unless you have any other questions, we are all done for the day!” Patton shakes Emile’s hand and leads him to the door, “Is a week from now good? That way I have time to buy beds and a few basics before they move in.”

“That works.” Patton closes the door behind Emile before flopping onto the couch. He lets out a few tears of joy. He will officially have a family in a week.

Chapter 2

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #emile picani #ts fic #thegayemo writing

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

May I have a dance?

Written for @loganslowdown4

This is good timing to post this for @loginceweek2022 for day three Imagination

Prompt: logince fluff where they find themselves alone and one asks the other to dance spur of the moment

Summary: There is chaos in mind palace and everyone is ignoring Roman and Logan. Roman takes Logan into the Imagination to have a nice day away from the others.

Taglist: @heirm @moons-the-nightmare @lost-in-thought-20 @sanderdarksides (let me know if you want to be added)

Word count: 847

Ao3

This week has been stressful for everyone in the mind palace. Janus and Patton have been at each other’s throats, Remus has been wreaking havoc on anyone who looks at him, Virgil has been having nothing but panic attacks, and everyone pretends Logan and Roman do not exist.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM.” A distant scream is heard from Janus’ room, a slamming of his door follows.

Logan presses his head deeper into the book he’s trying to concentrate on and sighs.

“Long week, huh?” A sweet yet tired voice speaks behind him.

“That’s a bit of an understatement but yes it has been quite long.” Logan looks up at Roman with his beautiful sad eyes. Roman can’t stand when his love is sad.

“Has any of the others tried talking to you recently?”

“You have been the only one for the past 5 days that has said more than ‘get out of my way Logan’” Roman’s heart shatters into a million pieces.

“I’m sorry Lolo. It isn’t been much better than me. Virgil told me to go away yesterday but except for that just silence and death glares.” Roman takes Logan’s hand in his own and gently pulls off the couch, “What if we got out of here for a little bit?”

Logan’s gaze turns to more confused instead of sad, “We are metaphysical sides. It is physically impossible for us to leave Thomas’ head or travel somewhere where Thomas or the other sides are not.”

Roman lightly laughs, “You are overthinking this Logan. We can spend the day in my realm of the Imagination.”

“Oh. I must have forgotten that was an option.” Logan said hoping it wouldn’t upset Roman.

“Come on, Lo! We can have a perfect and peaceful day in the Imagination.” Roman bounces in excitement for his idea and drags Logan behind him to his room.

On his dresser, Roman types in a code to open the box with the key to the Imagination. Logan glances at the code. Did he see that right? The numbers formed his birthday. A light and fluttery feeling of joy washes over Logan. “You’re perfect day awaits ahead, my love.” Roman holds the door open for Logan, like a prince would, after Logan steps into his realm Roman locks the door behind them.

Snap. A bubble of magic surrounds all of Roman’s realm then disappears into a cloud of red smoke.

“What was that?” Logan watches in awe as the red smoke dissipates.

“Just in case, to protect us. Nothing can get it or out of my realm until I take down the force field. I don’t need a rat ruining our time here.” Roman guides Logan into the part of the Imagination he designed just for today.

The weather is perfect and the artificial sun shines down on them. The temperature is a perfect 60 degrees with not a cloud in the sky. Surrounding them is miles and miles of red and blue geraniums, Logan’s favorite flower. In the center of the beds of flowers sits a beautiful white gazebo covered in rose vines.

“This is lovely, Roman.” Logan’s eyes sparkle, the sadness is nowhere to be seen anymore.

“This is just the beginning. I promised you a wonderful day and I am here to deliver on that.” Snap. Magic flutters around the two of them, “We need formal outfits for today.”

Roman’s outfit changes into a knee-length red dress with a corset back and a wavy skirt. His shoes change to four-inch white heels. Logan’s outfit changes into a gorgeous navy tux with a bow tie covered in mini-book designs and dress shoes.

“You look so handsome.” Roman pushes a stray hair behind Logan’s glasses. Logan tries to contain his blush.

“You are very pretty. The dress and heels suit you well.” Logan looks like he is floating in the clouds, “Was four inches really necessary?”

Roman chuckles, “You know I’ll take every opportunity I can get to be taller than you.” He leads them to the center of the gazebo and reaches out his hand to Logan, “May I have a dance?”

“Of course, you may.” Roman snaps his fingers and a vintage record player appears in the corner of the gazebo. Elvira Madigan by Mozart plays softly in the background as they begin to dance.

“Follow my lead.” Roman leads Logan step by step in the waltz. “You are a lovely dancer, darling.”

“Well, it takes a great partner to be this good.” Roman lets go of one of Logan’s hands and gently spins him.

Roman hums along with the music, “Has this day cheered you up?”

“It has. Thank you, Roman.” Logan gives a grateful smile to his boyfriend as Roman dips him over his arm. Roman leans in and stops right before Logan’s lips.

“May I?” He whispers to Logan

“You may.” Roman closes the gap and passionately kisses for a moment before pulling away, “This day has been perfect.”

They slow dance for the rest of the evening until the sun starts to set in the Imagination.

#ts logince #logince #sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #ts logan #thegayemo #ts fanfic #thegayemo writing #loginceweek2022

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

But That was Supposed to be My Boyfriend… ch 2

Summary: Patton is determined to get revenge on Janus for ‘stealing’ his boyfriend and he doesn’t care who he hurts in the process

Taglist: @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @xoaningout @lily-janus @thebittybonesaddict @just-a-little-anxious @parksthefrog @randomacnhfan @anxiousasexual @jervis-tetch-my-beloved (ask if you want to be added)

TWs: unsympathetic Patton, mind control, hypnosis

Ao3

One

The tears continue to roll down my face. I summon a tissue and wipe them away. There is no time for tears or sadness. As the heart and the morality, I must be happy. And the way to make myself happy is to become Logan’s boyfriend. But I must get revenge on that wicked snake and save my poor Logie from his grasp before I can have Logan all for myself.

Now, I need a plan. Roman will definitely not be willing to agree to this. He already seems skeptical of me for some reason. I honestly don’t understand why Roman was defending Janus. Janus? Seriously, Janus, of all people? I never thought one of my best friends would turn his back on me. All these years he pretended to be there for me and then suddenly it’s all, ‘Oh. It’s not Janus’ fault.’ I could stay mad at Roman for his horrible betrayal but there is no time for that right now. I have more important things to focus on. I will just have to deal with Roman when the time comes or if he ever tries to cross me again.

Back to the issue at hand. I need another side to help me fulfill my plot. Obviously, I can’t use Janus since he is who the plot is against. It would not work to ask Logan either. I could ask Remus but he is a bit of a loose cannon. Not to mention he is a possible ally of Janus. Plus being Roman’s brother and all makes this more complicated. That only leaves Virgil. My sweet, naive, and innocent Virgil. He would be perfect for my plan. Virgil is easy to control; He would not hesitate to say no to me since I’m his perfectly peppy padre and he already has a bit of a vendetta against Janus.

An evil chuckle escapes my lips as I head down to the living room. Oops. Better tone that down. Don’t want someone to think their sweet Patton is up to anything bad. Everything I am about to do is completely justified. Janus needs to learn his place here and Logan deserves a better boyfriend. Me, I would be such a better boyfriend to him. Janus doesn’t deserve him. Janus probably only got a chance with Logan since he put him under a spell. Oh, poor Logan. That settles it. I have to do this. I will be the hero of this story and save my poor prince in peril.

Time to set my plan in motion. The first step, summon Virgil. “Oh, anxiety! Would you join me in the living room?” I ask sweetly.

Virgil appears in his usual spot on the steps holding his eyeliner. “I have a name, you know.” He growls at me but I know he is all bark and no bite. Virgil acts all tough and scary, but isn’t actually capable of anything harmful or mean. Honestly, except for being mindless and easy to bend to other people's will, he isn’t capable of anything important.

“Of course, I know you have a name, kiddo, but this was the easiest way to get your attention.” I flash a bright smile Virgil’s way and continue to step two of my plan, get Virgil to do my bidding, “Hey, kiddo. How do you feel about Janus?”

Virgil’s eye shadow turns a shade darker. Perfect! Just what I was looking for. “Not. A. Fan. Something about him unnerves me. He is definitely hiding something. I don’t trust that snake one bit. Isn’t it a bit strange that he waltzed in here and suddenly we are all just supposed to welcome him with open arms? Hell no!” Virgil continues to grumble under his breath about how Janus makes him nervous. Just like everything else. This fear will work to my advantage but Virgil really needs to stop getting anxious over every small thing. I know he’s anxiety and all but after a while it gets annoying. Oh, poor Virgil is having another anxiety attack over something stupid. Such an attention whore. I got a bit sidetracked here, anyway back to my fantastic plan.

“Since you don’t like Janus as much as I don’t like him, would you be willing to help me with a little problem I’m having with him?” I ask with a cute pout. The irresistible patent Patton pout. This technique has never once failed.

“Sure. I’d do anything to help.” Virgil says.

“Oh? Anything?” I try to hide my excitement from his answer. This makes the next part of my plan so much easier. Now that Virgil is willing to do anything for me, the fun will begin, “Can you stare right into my eyes as I tell you the plan?”

“Ummm. Sure, I guess.” He looks up into my eyes with an uneasy gaze. Virgil has never been one for eye contact but his comfort is not my priority. It’s not even in the top hundred of things I remotely care about.

I place my hands on his shoulders and stare deeply into his bright purple eyes. Virgil’s eyes start to shift from purple to light blue. After a few seconds, his eyes turn into a muted grey with a tint of blue sparkling through the color. His gaze is no longer focused and he is in a complete daze. Who knew mind control could be this easy? I guess that saying is true, ‘The weak-minded are easiest to control.’ I’m pretty sure that’s a real saying. Maybe I made it up but either way, it is accurate.

Now for the test, “Virgil can you hear me?” His head nods but his brain seems unaware of this command. Absolutely perfect! As long as I have power over his mind he will not be able to think or control any of his own actions, “Great! Here’s the plan. Janus has stolen what belongs to me for the last time. You will go to Logan’s room and demand to kiss him. You will not take no for an answer. At the same time, Janus will realize he left his hat in Logan’s room. When you are kissing Logan, Janus will see Logan cheating on him. Knowing Janus’ short temper and untrusting nature, he will not give Logan a chance to explain before running out of the room in tears. That takes care of the fiend Janus. Logan will be so heartbroken over his boyfriend abruptly breaking up with him that he will need someone to console him. That’s where I step in! After this is all over, you and your pretty mindless brain won’t remember a thing. Janus will be devastated and surely will never come near any of us ever again. And I will finally have my perfect boyfriend.”

Seriously? I give this whole speech of my plan to win Logan’s heart and not a single word out of Virgil. Oh, that’s right. He’s under my control. If I don’t tell him how to act or what to do, he might as well be a vegetable.

“Well, no time to waste. Nod in agreement if you understood my fabulous and flawless plan for love.” Virgil nods with the best expression ever. The blank, dull, controlled expression. Everyone would love Virgil all the more if he stayed like this forever. “It’s time to fulfill your part of the plan, Anxiety.”

Virgil drags himself up the stairs like a zombie. I yell to him as he is nearly halfway up, “Act natural. We don’t want Logan to know this isn’t really you, now do we?” Virgil’s pace quickens and his steps fall in line with how he would normally walk.

It’s good I have the ability to control the minds of those around me. This would have been so much harder if I had to go down the whole ‘blackmail to get what I want’ route. There are so many things I could use to blackmail Virgil if I really wanted to. Besides any of the dark sides, I have known Virgil the longest. If I wanted or needed to I could easily ruin him. The best way to threaten him would probably be to get in between him and Roman. Those two are sickeningly in love but fortunately, Mr. Princey is very insecure, getting him to doubt Virgil would be a piece of cake. Mind control is the safer route; there is no way this can backfire. With threatening or blackmailing Virgil there are so many places that could wrong. Too many what-ifs with that. But mind control, on the other hand, will work perfectly. As the best-case scenario, I get everything I want and Virgil forgets this all by tomorrow. The worst-case scenario, I get everything I want but have to destroy Virgil and possibly Roman in the process. As long as I end up with Logan in the end, both plans are a win for me.

#thegayemo writing #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #ts janus #ts patton #ts virgil #ts remus #ts roman #ts logan #sanders sides

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Flowers

Summary: Virgil gets kidnapped back to the dark sides. While he is held captive, he dreams/hallucinates about his past. (Song fic based on Flowers from Hadestown)

Taglist: @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @1stressedanddepressed @xoaningout @lily-janus @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @thebittybonesaddict @just-a-little-anxious (ask if you want to be added)

Word count: 842

Ao3

Other Sanders Sides Hadestown fic

TWs: implied unsympathetic Janus

Hand in hand, I walk through the Imagination with my boyfriend. The day could not have been lovelier but my mind is stuck in an endless cycle of anxiety and self-deprecation. I am not going to let my restless mind ruin yet another date with Roman.

You don’t belong here.

Shut up.

You are not a real light side, stop pretending.

I said shut up!

Roman is only with you out of pity. Do yourself a favor and came back to us.

“Shut the fuck up!” Roman stops short and stares directly into my eyes. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. I said that out loud. I expect him to be annoyed that I ruined our date but he pulls me closer instead.

He whispers into my ear, “Is everything alright, darling? You seem a bit tense there.”

“It’s the voices again.” He frowns, pulling me tightly into a hug.

“Don’t listen to them, Virgil. Whatever they are saying, they are wrong!” I nod my head in agreement but part of me falls deeper down the rabbit hole of lies.

You are an imposter. You don’t belong and you never will.

I don’t belong here. Doubt comes in, covering all of my senses and everything goes blurry with a tint of yellow. One second I’m standing in a field of daisies with someone, I can’t place who it was, but then the next I’m in the dark. Alone and confused. My head still feels like it’s stuck in a cloud.

I find the corner of the darkness and let my mind wander. Far far away from this hell, where ever I am.

I start to recognize where I am. The dark side dungeon. I didn’t want to be back here. I just wanted to fall asleep, to close my eyes and disappear.

Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Yeah, like that ever works.

My mind drifts in and out of consciousness. Like a petal on a stream, a feather on the air. I’m floating as my mind thinks of lily white and poppy red flowers. Red. There was something, no someone, who was red. But I can’t focus enough to remember who it was. Maybe it was a past life.

How did I get here? I can’t remember. I trembled when he laid me out. You won’t feel a thing, he said, when you go down. Yellow, he was yellow. He sent me down here. He lied! I felt a lot when I went down. But where did I go? Am I feeling anything? Who was he?

Nothing gonna wake you now. It’s almost peaceful. Not knowing where you are or even who you are. I feel bliss for the first time in a while. I drift down the stream of red flower petals. Red? That’s familiar.

A flash of a calm alluring voice washes over me. Yellow. Men are kind until they aren’t. Memories I don’t remember of a snake come back to me. He promised me everything then took away everything. But I don’t remember this. He takes my hand, the red flower petals turn yellow and wilt.

Flowers bloom until they rot. I’m sinking. The flowers shrivel and die as I drown in a sea of yellow.

Is anybody listening? I open my mouth and nothing comes out. As if the words don’t exist. My tongue becomes tied as I try to scream out. Why was I even screaming? My throat feels strangled and tastes yellow. You can taste yellow?

Nothing gonna wake me now. I’m back to floating on the river of petals, but this time they aren’t red. Were they ever red? Or was the yellow always trying to suffocate me? Maybe the red never existed.

Wait… Flowers, I remember fields of flowers, soft beneath my heels. Daisies! I remember daisies. Rows and rows of beautiful red and white flowers. Walking in the sun. I imagine the warm sun on my skin. Away from this cold river of yellow.

I remember someone, someone by my side. Red! There was red! He was my red. He turned his face to mine, and I turned away. Into the shade. It was my fault. I’m the reason why I’m stuck freezing in a river of rotten yellow flowers. Tears stream down my face or do they? I’m not sure of anything anymore.

You, the one I left behind. If you ever walk this way. Come and find me lying in the bed I made. I close my eyes and drift into an eternity of sleep. The petals become warm and comforting, unknowing to me they shift back to a passionate red.

A warm, comforting hand pressures again me. My eyes flutter open, it’s red, “Ro-Roman?” His name sounds unsure yet familiar.

“Virgil!” Red, no Roman, pulls me closer and sobs onto my shoulder, “I thought I lost you forever.”

“Take me home?” My voice is weak and reality starts to set back in.

“Of course!” Roman gathers me in his strong arms and sinks up in his room. It’s red.

#prinxiety #sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #ts roman #ts janus #ts virgil #thegayemo writing #ts fic

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

But That was Supposed to be My Boyfriend…

Written for @ms-awesome52

Thanks for 700 followers!

Prompt: Patton goes to ask Logan something and finds Logan and Janus playing Sherlock and Watson. Loceit and one sided logicality

Summary: Patton plans with Roman how to confess to Logan. He finally decides the moment is right but walks on Janus and Logan together

Taglist: @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare (ask if you want to added)

Word count: 1245

Ao3

TWs: Unrequited love

Today is finally the day I’m going to confess! I have been waiting weeks for the right day and that is today. I need to talk to Roman for motivation right before I can work up the confidence and say ‘I like you a lot,’ to Logan.

I go across the hall to Roman’s room. “Hey, kiddo! I need some romantic help.”

Roman opens the door with a huge smile painted across his face, “Well you came to the right place, padre!” Roman pulls me into his room and shuts the door behind us, “Is today the day?” He asks with a cheer.

“Yes!” I say with a mixture of excitement and nervousness, “What is the best way to tell him?”

“You just gotta rip off the bandage and confess your love. Oh! I’ll summon you a bouquet of flowers. Flowers are just so so so romantic. He would have to be a fool to reject you!” Roman summons a bouquet of light and dark blue roses.

“These are perfect! Logan will love them.” Roman passes the flowers to me; they smell beautiful.

“Now go get yourself a boyfriend.” Roman lightly nudges me to the door.

“Wait!” I am stalling for time, of course. I need more time to think this over before I take this leap.

“No time to wait. You have a future boyfriend down the hall.” Roman pouts at me but doesn’t push me further to the door.

“Can you tell me the story of how you and Virgil started dating?” I give Roman my classical puppy dog eyes to convince him to say yes.

“I love that story. It was a sunny afternoon in the Imagination and I invited Virgil to have a lovely day full of picnics and romance. I set the scene perfectly. Japanese cherry blossom trees in full bloom, Virgil’s favorite tree, and the temperature was nice and cool so I could offer him a jacket if needed. The day went perfectly everything was in place for me to confess my love for him.” Roman’s room swirls with bright colors as a sign of his love for Virgil, “Just as I was about to ask Virgil to be my boyfriend, he blurted out, ‘Roman, I really like you and want to go on a date.’ I gasped out of surprise but quickly told him I would love to go on a date with him. He then pulled me in by my collar and asked to kiss me. Of course, I said yes. Who could possibly say no to such an adorable emo as Virgil? And now we have been happily together ever since.”

“Awwwww. That story is so sweet. But what if my confession doesn’t go that well?” My smile quickly drops at the thought of Logan saying no.

“No time to worry about that. We will not know his answer unless you ask. No more stalling!” Roman goes back to pushing me out the door, “Go. Go. Go. Go get him.” Roman pushes me out of his room, closing the door behind me. He yells from the other side of the door, “Don’t come back until you have asked him.”

……….

I walk down the hall to Logan’s room. I’m about to knock but I hear a second voice coming from his room. The door is a crack open, I quietly press my ear against it and peek in. I know I should probably give Logan privacy. He is allowed to have other friends but I should just make sure everything is okay in there. Yeah, that’s it. I’m looking out for Logan.

“Is there a certain reason you came in here today, Janus?” Logan smiles at Janus.

“Can’t I stop by my favorite sides rooms and say hello.” They both laugh. I press my ear closer to the door, “But you are right as ever Logan. I came here to play a game. The mind palace has been awfully boring lately. Would you like to join me in a game of Sherlock?”

“Of course, Janus. I would be honored to.” No. No. No. That’s our game. I always play Sherlock and Watson together. Janus is stealing my boy-. My friend, he is stealing my friend.

“How about I’ll be Sherlock and you are also Sherlock. Since we are both too smart to be Watson.” Janus summons two detective hats. I open the door just a little more to see them.

“Perfect idea, Janus. Watson always slows Sherlock down anyway. Two Sherlock’s are better than a Sherlock and a Watson.” Logan just agreed that I’m stupid and I slow him down. A tear rolls down my cheek. No, it’s still okay Patton. They are just playing a game. It’s all pretend and I have nothing to worry about.

“Logan Sherlock. There are fingerprints on the doorknob. The murderer must have touched it before putting on their gloves to commit the murder.” Janus points to the door, I duck out of the way so no one sees me.

“Excellent observation, Janus Sherlock. We should take swabs of the DNA and send it down to our laboratory.” Logan pretends to take the DNA off of the doorknob. That should be me in there. This isn’t fair. Maybe Logan thought I was busy today. Yeah, that’s why he didn’t ask me to hang out today.

Logan sits back on his bed, pretending to test DNA samples. Janus walks back over to him but trips and falls on top of Logan. He did that on purpose! Janus is stealing my man. Logan’s face flushes and he looks into Janus’ eyes.

“It would be a shame if someone would kiss you right now.” Logan leans closer, no no no, and smiles at Janus.

“Yes. It would really be a shame. Although, if you were to kiss me, I wouldn’t stop you. In fact, I would lean in to kiss you back.” Janus closes the gap between them and kisses Logan. My heart shatters as Logan kisses him back. The tears fall down my face like a waterfall after a hurricane. I throw the bouquet of roses and crush them under my feet before getting as far away from Logan’s rooms as I can.

I run to the only person I know I can trust right now. There is no time to knock. Luckily his door is not locked as I burst through it.

“Did he say yes?” Roman bounces out of his bathroom towards me. He stops short when he sees the tears in my eyes, “What’s wrong little puffball?”

I collapse into Roman’s arms and he hugs me tightly, “Lo-Logan..”

“Did he say no?” Roman asks

I shake my head, “I-I never got to ask.” Roman wipes my tears, “Him and Janus were…”

“It’s alright, Patton. I’m sorry Logan is already taken.” Roman rubs my back, but it doesn’t feel that comforting.

“It’s not alright! He was supposed to be my boyfriend. And that snake took him from me.” My voice gets louder than I meant it to. I didn’t want to yell at Roman but I’m so pissed off.

“I usually will take your side no matter what, but it is not Janus’ fault. Logan and Janus must have a deep connection that they finally acted on.” I push Roman onto his bed and storm out of his room. I run to my room hysterically crying and lock myself in there. My thoughts full of how much I hate Janus.

#patton sanders #janus sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #loceit #prinxiety #one sided logicality #ts janus #ts patton #ts roman #ts virgil #ts logan #platonic royality #thegayemo writing

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

The Beauty of Storms

Written for @lost-in-thought-20

Summary: Janus hates storms, Logan loves them. Logan shows Janus the beauty behind them when Janus is having a tough day.

Notes: Based on the prompt ‘late night storms with loceit’. So hear is some very self indulgent teenage fluff

Taglist: @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @1stressedanddepressed @xoaningout @lily-janus @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @thebittybonesaddict @just-a-little-anxious @parksthefrog @randomacnhfan (Ask if you want to be added)

Ao3

Word count: 1468

TWs: implied/referenced homophobia

The pitch-black sky brightens as the lightning strikes. Storms are everything I hate; loud noises, bright lights, and the ominous feeling of drowning from the rain.

Of course, it’s just my luck to get stuck outside in the middle of a storm. I check my watch, 10 pm. Great, it’s too late for any store to be open to find shelter in. I wander around the town until I find somewhere familiar to escape the rain.

I’m surprised no one asked ‘Hey, Janus! Why are you out at night in the rain? Shouldn’t you go home?’ The answer to that question is my parents are dicks to gay people, which is me, so I left. Thinking back, it might have been a good idea to check the weather before storming out of my house. Oh, well. Too late for that now.

Maybe I’ll get struck by lightning or die from hypothermia. The lights of my small town blur together. Astigmatisms in the rain are not fun. That’s what I get for running out of the house without my contacts or even my spare glasses.

I list all the places I could go to tonight. Roman and Remus live all the way on the other side of town, at least another 30-minute walk. So that’s not ideal. Definitely not Patton’s house, his extreme kindness is unsettling. That leaves either Virgil or Logan. Both seem like a pleasant place to go, but what would their parents say to a random-ass teenager showing up to their door late at night soaking wet. Maybe I’ll just find a tree to wait out the storm under. Then I’ll fucking die great, trees always get struck by lightning.

I start walking again in a random direction. Honestly, at this point, I hope a kidnapper van pulls up then I will least be protected from the rain. Mindlessly I walk until I’m in front of a familiar house, Logan’s house. No cars in the driveway, that’s a good sign. Logan is most likely home even though his parents are nowhere to be seen. It’s not like he goes to parties on a Friday night.

I suck in my breath as the doorbell rings. How embarrassing is it to show up to your friend’s house while drenched to the bone and shivering?

A confused face greets me, “Oh? Janus. I was not expecting you at this hour.” He gasps finally realizing, “You are soaking wet! This simply will not do. We need to get up warmed up and into dry clothes immediately.” Before I can respond or try to stop him, Logan pulls me by my arm into his foyer. I kick off my dripping shoes and follow Logan upstairs.

“You are shaking.” His monotone but sweet voice cuts through my constant stream of thoughts. I didn’t even realize I started to shake, “How about I run you a hot bath so you warm up?”

“That does sound a bit pleasant,” My lips drop into a slight smile, it’s no wonder Logan is my favorite out of our small friend group. I twiddle my thumbs as Logan runs the water, occasionally sticking his hand underneath to check the temperature.

“I will get you fresh clothes to put after. Free feel to take your time, Janus.” Logan shuts the door behind him. I instantly feel better the second I get the disgusting wet clothes off. They stick to me in every uncomfortable way. The warm bath helps my bones feel less like icIcles. I close my eyes and drift off to a fantasy world I created in my head. It’s nice and peaceful. Quiet, no yelling, and a cute nerd next to me.

A gentle tap knocks on the door, “Hey, Janus. I know I said take your time but it’s has been more than a half-hour and I wanted to make sure you are alright in there.” It’s been that long already? Hmmm. I must have drifted deep into my fantasy world this time. Sometimes I like that world better than the real one, it’s easy to get lost in there.

I drain the water and wrap myself in the large soft towel Logan left for me. My head slowly peaks out as I creek open the door, “Sorry.”

“No worries. I was just making sure you were alright and didn’t fall asleep in there.” Logan’s smile makes me feel weird and almost fluttery, “There is a pile of clothes on my bed. They should fit, I believe we are a very similar size.” Logan steps out of his room to give me privacy while I change.

“I’m decent now.” Logan returns to his room. It feels weird that he gave up his room so I could change. I could have changed in the bathroom or somewhere else. It makes me wonder is Logan this hospital to everyone or…?

Logan hands me a pair of spare glasses with my prescription. He claims he keeps a spare of everyone’s prescription just in case but I have never seen an extra pair for Patton or Roman. It could just be my gay hopeless self but this seems like something you would do for a person you have feelings for, not that Logan would ever admit he has feelings.

“Would you like to explain why you are here?” Logan pauses for a moment, seeming to regret what he asked, “Not that I don’t want you here. You are always welcome, in fact, more than welcome. It just came as a bit of a surprise to find you here soaking wet.” Logan’s stammering is cute.

“The usual. I don’t like my parents and they don’t like me, so here I am.” I nervously laugh. I trust Logan, I really do, but I’m not in the mood to go into detail.

The thunder crashes in the distance and the lightning gives off a blaring bright flash. I jump backwards and fall into Logan’s strong arms, the blush creeps across my face. Logan looks like he is internally screaming but in a good way, “Wow, I love storms so fucking much.”

“I am actually quite fond of harsh weathers conditions like this.” I give Logan a confused glance.

“How? Just how? It is loud, bright, and it will kill us all.” That’s probably a bit of an exaggeration but I’m dramatic, sue me.

“Everything has beauty in it. Even the storms. Once you learn all the facts and science behind these weather conditions, they no longer seem as terrifying.” I love it when Logan talks about anything or everything he is interested in. I could listen to him for hours, “If you would like, I could teach you about thunderstorms and how they happen.”

“If it’s not too much trouble, I wouldn’t mind hearing.” I say very calmly, trying to hide my excitement from the thought of getting to hear Logan go on about something he is passionate about. I am jumping up and down with joy, in my head of course. There is nothing better than getting to hear Logan talk. He gently pulls me onto his bed and covers us in a heavy blanket. It’s so comfy I could drift off to sleep in his safe and warm arms but not yet.

“For starters thunderstorms form when the warm air rises and turns into cold air. The water vapor condensates into water droplets. In a convection cell, the water droplets rise and fall. After a large number of water droplets gather together, thunderstorm clouds begin to form.” As Logan begins to teach me about storms, I lean closer into him. When he doesn’t react negatively, I rest my head on his shoulder, “Now for the interesting part!” Logan’s face lights up when he says that, “Lightning is a discharge of electricity that is nearly 30,000 degrees Celsius! When the air heats and expands it causes an explosion. The sound the lightning makes is called thunder. Not many people know that thunder is the sound lightning makes. That means if you ever hear thunder there is also lightning even if you can’t see it yet.”

My eyelids get heavy and I have trouble keeping them open. I try to reason with my brain to let me stay up for just a few more minutes but that bastard says no. Logan continues to talk but most of the words get jumbled together as I fall asleep.

“Do you have any questions?” Logan asks, “Oh! You fell asleep.” That’s not true! I’m like half asleep at best but too much so to answer, “Goodnight, Janus.” A soft pair of lips kiss my forehead. Did Logan just kiss me goodnight? I guess I’ll find out tomorrow. My wave of endless thoughts calm in Logan’s presence and I blissfully fall asleep in his arms.

#loceit #ts loceit #ts janus #janus sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #ts fic #thegayemo writing