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#there aren’t enough of us on here 😭

goldenhypen · 24 days

Note

ur bias is also jake .. so i’ll call you my ‘yuntual’ ><

your bias is also jake?? the taste 😌🤌🏻

#i love having yuntuals #there aren’t enough of us on here 😭#em answers #jiah! <3 #lovely moots

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salaciousdoll · 7 months

Text

· · Just in: Kento Nanami isn’t tolerating his young hot neighbor party habits, here’s what he has to say · ·

･˳ . ⋆ Reporting Live from Kento Nanami and Next door neighbor!Fem!reader ･˳ . ⋆

୨⍣୧ ⁺⁎˚ ⋆━━ Warnings : smut, Nanami is a hard!dom, hair pulling, creampie, fucked through orgasm, pet names( stupid bunny, slut, etc.), degradation is big time here, bed breaking( not just the head board), breeding kink, Nanami talks about getting you pregnant, hardcore, reader is mind fucked, Nanami is pussy drunk, reader is dick drunk, fluids( cream, squirting, drool), if I’m missing anything let me know WC: 1,081

MDNI, 18+

ෆ ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿ ෆ ̟ ̇ ┈•ﾟNote from salaciousdoll: Please do note this was just to poke and have fun, it’s not gonna be perfect so don’t expect it. Anyways, hope you all enjoy my 35 min writing and yes I know this troupe and idea been used a thousands times, act like it hasn’t 😭 Nanami ass may be ooc here, idk.

Nanami always kept his eyes out for the new neighbor who threw parties with mountains of people coming in and out. He was pretty tired of the parties you throw even if you never introduced yourself to any one of your neighbors. You were young and everyone in this neighborhood was either stepping into their 30s or older than that. Only reason he knew you were young was because of how often he’ll see you leave and come in with different boys and girls.

The parties you threw were rowdy and full on project x type beat except without trashing your house. Nanami would be sleep and all he would hear is screams, music, and even the sound of fucking near his window. It’s like you didn’t care about anything or anyone, not even the complaints or calls from the police the other neighbors sent.

So Nanami didn’t care about the way you were clawing at his chest with your long, pretty acrylics as he gripped your hair in a tight ponytail— pounding into your pussy from beneath you with no mercy. The squelching sounds weren't enough to make him stop, in fact, that’s the sole reason he kept going. He ignored your cries and scrambling to get away from him because of how good he stretched your little hole out.

“ you’re not lasting like I thought you would… I mean sluts last long, so why aren’t you?”, Nanami grunts into your ear, his hips thrusting up into your weeping pussy, angrily. He didn’t care about the bed hitting the wall as he fucked you like the whore you’re mother wouldn’t be proud of.

You coughed and tried to make eye contact with him, but his grip on your hair was too much for you to see his face under you. So you cried out your frustration through crystallized vision, “ M’not a slut. Please slow down, Mr. Nanami.” Your sweet little moans and whimpers were beautiful.

Nanami let out a loud growl like moan and wrapped one arm around your body while he now had some of your ponytail tangled and wrapped into his hands, he was making your hair messy just like he was making your pussy messy. You partially regretted coming on because of the dare, but in the same breath, you were happy because now you’re living two of your fantasies.

“ You are. You are. Nnnhh, you’re a little slut that’s been disturbing this neighborhood since you stepped foot in here. Shame on you, did your mother and father teach you anything or are you too dumb of a bunny to understand. Fuck!”, Nanami grunts out his words because of how tight your fluttering walls wrapped around his dick.

Nothing but cries and little chokes escaped out of your mouth. You couldn’t form basic words, how dumb can you be? Nanami balls were slapping on your puckered hole from how fast and rough he was going. You gave up on digging your nails into his chest because you were so fucked out and tired from the pounding he’s giving you. So now your bare chest was pressed onto his bare chest, sweat glands producing from both of you.

“ Please! Please! Please! M’gonna m’gonna— uhhnnn.”, your moans were suppressed by his smooth lips. You were screaming into his mouth as you squirted over his pelvis, his balls, and legs. Some of it was getting on his sheets and he didn’t care one bit. He was too angry at you to see how messy you’ve gotten his covers.

You tried to scramble off him because you were squirting too much and the pressure of it all was too much especially for your already beaten up pussy. It’s like Nanami has superhuman speed and stamina. He sped up even more faster as he fucked up into you, you and your pussy screamed and cried.

Nanami grunts were beginning to become broken, “ Sh-ittt, s’good, pussy is so good squirting like that. I guess all those boys coming in and out of your house taught you how to milk cock, perfectly.” Your eyes widened and then they rolled back into your head at the rolling of his hips hitting the inner thighs repeatedly.

As soon as he did one more snap of his hips, the bed frame broke underneath you two causing a loud noise to erupt from how hard it hit the floor. The poles attached to his bed fell in the opposite direction of you two. If someone were to walk in right now, they’ll see that it looks like a tornado hit his room with how broken the bed was. Yet that still didn’t stop him. He now had a great angle as he pounded your tired, wet cunt over and over with one knee propped up, so you were now fucking rapidly and properly. He felt your velvet walls sucking him in with your liquid coming out at the same time. You were perfect for his cock. Nanami’s cock was big, way too big for your pussy. He loved your pussy so much. He was too drunk on your pussy to understand that his bed broke.

“ My fucking slut, such an devilish little temptation you are, gonna breed this tight little pussy. Nghh! Hopefully that’ll get you to stop having these parties and fucking with those boy toys of yours…. Settle down and grow round and big with our child, how does that sound? Hmm.”, Nanami moaned as you were now creaming on his cock from how overstimulated you were.

Your brain was fogged and your words were slurred with drool hangin out your mouth as you answered him, well tried. Luckily he understood every word you said. “ Yesh—yess, I wan’ your babies. Ahnnn. Want to be full and bloated with your children, mmm mr. Nanami”

Nanami smirked in victory because now there were no more parties, boys, or loud music. Gotta love corrupting and breaking his pretty little neighbor.

ෆ ̟ ̇ ┈•ﾟ Tagging: @chosoist @simpingfor-wakasa @honeybleed and anyone else who wants to be tagged

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muchosbesitos · 8 months

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el arreglo

pairing: arranged marriage miguel x fem reader

warnings: miguel being an ass, guy grabbing the reader, oral (f receiving), mirror sex, and overall smut lol 🫣

author’s note: idk what my obsession is with writing asshole mig 😭 i hope you guys aren’t finding it repetitive or boring 🫣 anyways, enjoy <3

word count: 4014

When Miguel had agreed to this arranged marriage set up by your parents, he didn't seem himself having you bent over your shared bathroom sink as he pounded into you from behind, fisting your hair with one hand as he forced you to keep eye contact with him through the mirror.

It started off at another gala that your father frequented, in an attempt to make himself respected in the business world. His business had recently skyrocketed in profits and he was being acknowledged for the hard work that he put in, but that still wasn't enough for your father. Despite the fact that he was gaining respect from other businesses and gaining opportunities, he quickly became greedy and obsessed when he found out that he was still being ignored by some. With that greed and obsession, the sweet father who used to play Monopoly with you quickly disappeared and transformed into someone ruthless.

You decided to wear a blue dress that plunged at the neckline all the way to your breasts along with a pair of silver stilettos to the gala, making some heads turn at your arrival. Your parents quickly went to go mingle with some of the other guests, eager to make a good impression, while you sat down at one of the tables and sipped on a glass of overpriced champagne. You looked up from your phone when you saw a shadow looming over you, glancing over at the man who was standing in front of you. He was tall, taller than anyone else in the room, and his black hair was pushed back to perfection. Despite how devilishly handsome he looked in the black tux he was wearing, you couldn't help but be enamored by his eyes. They were such a unique shade of brown, almost appearing red when the light hit them right.

"What are you doing here all alone?" He asked, sitting down in front of you as he took a glass of champagne from a waiter passing by. "My parents are out mingling, but conversation about how the stock market is progressing doesn't seem very interesting. and what are you doing here joining me in solitude?" You replied, taking a sip from your glass as you took in the man sitting in front of you. "Like you said, conversation with people who only really care about how many zeros are in your bank account isn't very fulfilling," he remarked, clinking his glass against yours as he took a sip. You looked down to where his hand was holding the champagne glass, the comparison almost funny before you started to think just what he could do with his hands. You snapped out of it, looking back at the man who was smirking at the sight of your flushed face. "So what's your name?" You asked, leaning a bit forward as you set down the glass. "Miguel. Miguel O’Hara, nice to meet you."

Soon after you two had finished up with your champagne glasses, he led you outside to the balcony with the excuse of wanting to hear you better. You two leaned against the balcony, watching some of the other guests arrive or looking up at the twinkling stars. You found conversation to be extremely easy with him, he wasn't anything like the prestigious assholes that your father had tried (and failed) to set you up with. "I don't know, I feel like you're giving me that kind of angsty angry at the world type of vibe," you said after the conversation had turned to what high school was like, eliciting a small laugh from him. "Sort of, yeah. And let me guess, you were the popular cheerleader?" He remarked, leaning against the balcony as he looked over at you. You rubbed the back of your neck nervously, letting out a small sigh before deciding to open up to Miguel. "Uh, no. My dad was struggling to get above profit every quarter so we couldn't afford the extracurriculars. I mean, it wasn't bad or anything but I did end up being the joke of the school," you replied, leaning against the balcony now. "For what it's worth, I would've loved to be your friend."

Eventually after a while of conversing, Miguel extended his hand out to invite you to dance. "You are aware that there's no music out here, right?" You asked, letting out a small laugh as you held his hand. "We'll dance to the rhythm of our hearts," he remarked, letting out a chuckle of his own as he began swaying to an imaginary soundtrack. "I was aware of how corny it was when it left my mouth," he mumbled, his cheeks flushed a bit red with embarrassment. You continued to dance with him, enjoying the way his body moved against yours and the body heat that he was radiating. You looked up to see his gaze already on you, those brown eyes almost sparkling with something similar to desire. "I'm gonna kiss you, is that okay?" He whispered, looking at you for a response. You nodded, closing your eyes as you leaned into it. His mouth was soft, inviting and you could taste the champagne he'd drank earlier along with something just so uniquely... him.

You pulled away when you heard the balcony door open, seeing your father standing there with a smile on his face. "Ah, I see that you've gotten yourself acquainted with your future husband," he remarked, patting Miguel’s shoulder before he walked next to you. Your brows furrowed in confusion as you looked from your father to Miguel, seeing the same expression on his face. "Husband?" You asked after a while, rubbing your arm nervously. "I wasn't aware that it would be you that i'm marrying, but yes, your father thought that us getting married would increase our business profits," Miguel responded, his face turning stone cold and you started to grow annoyed. You'd expected this from your father, to marry you off for his expense without any regard towards your feelings but now Miguel was pretending like there wasn't a spark between you two?

A couple weeks after the gala, your father arranged for your marriage with Miguel to be in the city courthouse with only some of your friends and his potential business partners. You were in the process of moving your stuff into his place in order to make the marriage seem more legitimate. When you arrived at Miguel’s house, you couldn't help but admire the sheer size of it and the amount of expensive decorations he put up, but you couldn't help but notice that it was missing a touch of home. It was like something out of an Airbnb catalog, not a place someone came for solace. The living room was devoid of any pictures of him or his family, full with paintings that must've cost a fortune.

After you finished setting your stuff down in the room he'd set apart for you, you decided to walk downstairs to the kitchen since you hadn't eaten breakfast that morning. You noticed Miguel sitting at the kitchen table in a plain white tee and sweatpants while he typed something up in his computer as you headed to the cupboards. You grabbed a bag of chips and looked over at Miguel, leaning over the table a bit. Things had been distant ever since the kiss and getting married, but you were determined to at least try to get along with your husband. "Hey, how's work going?" You asked, looking at him with a small smile as you opened up your bag of chips. "Can you open that somewhere else? It's too noisy," he grumbled, not bothering to look up from his computer. You let out a small sigh and picked up the bag of chips from the table, starting to walk away before you heard him speak up once more, "And don't think this is going to be a loving marriage. This is only a business transaction and you just happened to be one of the pawns."

You decided to start distancing yourself from Miguel after that, which was considerably easier since he was always away on business trips or working late. You constantly found yourself crying over Miguel’s neglect, wishing that he would show you at least a smidge of attention, but those tears were quickly replaced by burning anger when he rejected every advance you tried to get close to him. Eventually, you started shutting down completely and only coming out of the room when he wasn't home or when you two needed to attend an event together. Even at the events, he still kept you at an arm's length and made a point not to speak with you until it was time to go.

An art showing you were excited for quickly arrived, and you found yourself giggling and smiling when getting ready despite knowing that Miguel wouldn't act differently from those other times. You dressed in a red floor length dress with gold heels, your hair and makeup styled to perfection. You walked downstairs after Miguel complained about you taking too long, seeing his eyes widen just the slightest bit as he held his hand out for you to hold. "You look nice," he offered, walking with you to the car. You'd normally be excited and form delusions about how things were improving between the two of you, but you didn't feel like raising your own hopes for once. "Right because I spent two hours getting ready to look 'nice'," you responded, taking your hand away from his as you walked to the car.

The drive there was silent, the jazz music playing on the stereo filling up the atmosphere. You knew that you'd basically just snapped the only olive branch that he'd offered you, but you couldn't stand to deal with the disappointment that came after realizing that he still didn't like you. You looked out the window, Miguel’s hand lingering on the side of your thigh as he occasionally glanced at you. You two arrived at the gala a couple minutes later, only getting close to pose for pictures and sell the image of the perfect marriage.

You walked over to the bar, leaving Miguel alone as he went to go talk with some of his associates. "One whiskey, please," you asked the bartender when they came over, your eyes occasionally glancing over at what Miguel was doing or who he was talking to. You tried to push the thoughts aside as you took a sip of your whiskey, listening to one of the auctions going on. You finished up with your glass around the time that the auction had ended, looking over to see that Miguel was still busy mingling so you decided to head out to the balcony to get some fresh air.

You were looking out at the night sky when you felt a hand on your shoulder, turning around to see a man around your age giving you a polite smile. "Hey, I couldn't help but notice you're here alone. Aren't you O’hara’s wife?" He asked, leaning against the balcony as he turned to look at you. "I am, but I’m not really that big on socializing," you responded, turning to look over at him. He let out a dark chuckle as he lit up a cigar, taking a huff out of it before he turned to look at you once more. "You know Miguel doesn't really love you right? He's only with you out of convenience," he said after a while of silence, closing the gap between the two of you. "Even if we are, I don't see how that's any of your concern," you said, the words came out more defensively than you had intended them to. His hand lingered on your shoulder, brushing a strand piece of hair aside as his eyes darkened. "I'm just saying, if you're ever tired of being in a loveless marriage, he doesn't have to find out," he spoke a while after, his hand still resting close to you. You were about to push him away when you heard someone speak up behind you, "Get your damn hands off my wife."

You and Miguel walked back to the car in silence a couple minutes after that encounter, and you felt like a scolded kid despite the fact that it wasn't your fault. Once you two settled in the backseat, he turned to look over at you, his gaze softening up just the slightest bit. "Are you okay?" He asked, surprising you completely since he'd never bothered to ask. "What does it matter, Miguel?" You responded, pinching the bridge of your nose as you looked out the window. He spent a couple minutes in silence, before you noticed that you two weren't headed back to the house. "We're headed someplace else," he said, seeing the look of confusion on your face.

His driver pulled over to a secluded spot and Miguel helped you out of the car, grabbing a blanket from the trunk. He set down the blanket and sat down, patting the spot next to him. "You didn't bring me out here to murder me?" You asked, a brow raised as you sat down next to him. "No, that's a completely different spot," he replied, letting out a small chuckle as he glanced down at you. You spent a couple minutes looking at the clearing and at the constellations before glancing over at Miguel, deciding to ask the question that had been lingering in your mind for a while now. "What changed? I mean, why are you so distant despite the connection we had when we met?" You asked, rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly. He let out a sharp exhale, turning to look at you.

"I had a daughter, Gabriella. She was the center of my world, y'know? And then suddenly, she wasn't in my world anymore and that completely destroyed me. It was easy flirting with you in the beginning because I thought it would just be temporary, but then you turned out to be my wife. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I'm scared that everything I love will end up destroyed," he spoke up after a couple minutes, his voice cracking a bit as he spoke. You were unsure of what to say, so you decided to stay quiet and simply rub your hand on his shoulder, but what you didn't know is that your presence was all Miguel needed to feel okay in that moment. You two stayed quiet for the rest of your time there, just taking the time to be close to each other and enjoy each other's presence for the first time.

Miguel had tried to be a more attentive husband after that trip, getting over his own fears and being vulnerable with you. He started talking to you about work, letting you ask stuff about his personal life, and let you sit down with him while he was typing away at his computer. You were scrolling through your phone while Miguel was working on his computer, not noticing when he had moved over to the couch to sit down next to you. "I have a business trip to go to, but I want to take you out on a proper dinner date when I get back. I know I haven't been the ideal husband but I'm trying here," he said, rubbing your ankle as he looked over at you. You placed your phone down, grateful at the amount of effort that Miguel was willing to put in to make the marriage a bit more bearable. "I appreciate the fact that you're trying. I can't wait," you responded, sitting up to kiss his cheek and hoping that the small act wouldn't scare him off. He responded to the kiss fairly well, returning it and turning the tv on so you two could relax for a bit.

About a week later, you had received a text from Miguel that he would be arriving from his business trip today around 7. You couldn't help but feel excited at the fact that you were finally going to go on an actual date with your husband, so you started dancing in the bathroom while you brushed your teeth. You spent about an hour taking care of your appearance, putting on hydrating face masks and shaving before going to get dressed. You settled on putting a short dress that complimented your curves perfectly with a pair of silver heels, the jewelry matching them. You took out your makeup bag and started to finish getting ready in front of the bathroom mirror, not noticing that Miguel had come inside.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder as he placed a kiss on your neck. "You look stunning," he whispered, the proximity of how close he was combined with the compliment making the wires in your brain short circuit. You turned around to look at him, seeing that he was already dressed to go out, with the color of shirt matching your dress and black slacks. You couldn't help but notice the loose tie hanging around his neck so you decided to lean in to fix it before he grabbed your hand, kissing the top of it as he looked up at you. "I wanted to be a gentleman and take you out to dinner first but I just can't help myself."

Miguel did quick work of taking himself out of his pants, placing you on the bathroom counter as he looked up at you. "Is this okay with you?" He asked, his hands gently rubbing on your thighs, not wanting to do anything without your proper consent. "More than okay," you responded, watching as he slid your dress up to your hips. He got on his knees, starting to lick a stripe up your thigh before he did quick work of slipping your panties down. "Such a pretty pussy," he whispered before he leaned in, running his mouth through your folds. His tongue explored every part of you, basking in the experience as he gently tugged and sucked. He licked a stripe from your weeping hole to your clit, your manicured hands tugging on his hair. He slipped his tongue inside, letting out a low moan as the vibrations went through you, causing your legs to twitch a bit.

He gripped your legs tightly as he sucked on your hole, lapping at the juices you were releasing. He looked up at you with his tongue buried in you, the tip of his nose wet from your juices. You let out a small moan at how pretty he was, your hips grinding against his face as you sought out more. "So greedy," he said with a small chuckle, taking his pointer and middle finger to tap against your lower lip. You opened up your mouth, your tongue running the sides as you sucked on his fingers. He took them out and got on his knees once more, slipping them inside of you with ease. You let out a loud moan as you felt his fingers curl to hit your g-spot, your toes curling in the silver heels. Your legs began to twitch as he started to suck on your clit, his tongue working expertly to provide you with pleasure you needed. His fingers and mouth worked in tandem to provide you with the stimulation you craved, your hands tugging on his hair as your hips grinded against his face. "I-I'm close!" You moaned out, the peak of your climax approaching quickly with every suck of your clit. With one final thrust of his fingers, you gushed around them, your face contorted in pleasure. He got up from the floor, his eyes on you as he sucked your release from his fingers.

Miguel kept you in the same position as he aligned his cock with your pussy, his gaze on you as he started to slide himself in. He let out a low moan as he bottomed out, his hands on your hips while he started off slowly. He grabbed his discarded tie off the counter, tying your hands together and your legs were on his shoulders, the angle allowing Miguel to slip in deeply with ease. He started moving faster when he noticed your hips moving against his, his balls slapping against your ass. Your walls clenched around him tightly, eliciting a moan to come out of him as he thrusted in you faster. The grip on your hips was sure to leave you bruises by tomorrow, but you couldn't find it to care with all the pleasure he was giving you. He looked up at the mirror, seeing your body underneath his and got an idea.

He bent you over the mirror, having you look at yourself as he slid inside of you once more. You pressed your hands down on the counter as he began to quicken up the pace, your back flush against his chest as you closed your eyes. He couldn't have that, of course, so he tugged on your hair, forcing you to keep eye contact with him through the mirror. You felt a new wave of arousal coat his cock as he maintained the eye contact, your walls clenching around him tightly. His balls slapped against your ass as he thrusted in deeply and quickly, seeking out for both of you to get to that peak. His thumb rubbed small circles on your clit, gently pinching it as he worked to give you what he could. "You look so pretty taking me like this, tesoro," he moaned out, raising one of his hands to slap your ass. You felt your legs tremble as he continued to hit your g-spot and his thumb stimulated your clit, quickly coming to your orgasm. (treasure)

Your release formed a creamy white ring around the base of his cock, your eyes closed in pure bliss. He pressed your face against the mirror, shaking his head in fake disappointment as he continued to thrust in your pussy, seeking out his own release. "Keep your eyes on the mirror," he said, the command coming out more breathless than he expected. With one final thrust, his cum coated your walls as he fucked into you. He let his chest fall against your back, gripping you tightly as he got his breathing under control. He slipped his softening cock out of you, his fingers pushing the cum leaking from your pussy back inside. You took his fingers in your mouth, sucking them off once more as you tasted the combined release from you two.

He helped you get cleaned up and even cooked up some spaghetti before he laid down in bed with you. He gently rubbed your shoulders as you started to drift off to sleep, his chest flush against your back. "Thank you.. for not giving up on me. I really appreciate it," he whispered, kissing your cheek as he stroked your thigh. "You're a person worth knowing," you replied, turning around to face him as your hand rested on his cheek. You felt yourself growing sleepy from the combined body warmth and how good his fingers felt on your skin. "You can go to sleep, I'll be here in the morning."

He, however, was not there in the morning when you woke up. You thought that after the time you spent getting close to him and especially now after having sex, he would start to open up to the possibility of advancing your relationship. However, it seemed like the act simply pushed him away further and erased the progress you had achieved. You decided to knock on his office door, getting tired of the silent treatment and mixed signals to ask what was going on and he simply responded with, "What we did was a mistake. I'm sorry that you thought we could be something more but you're just a business transaction."

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deadghosy · 3 months

Note

WHAT ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL X EYELESS JACK READER ?!

Hungry for some kidneys 😋🏃‍♀️

STOPPP CAUSE I HAD A CRUSH ON HIM- WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME BRO😭 I THOUGHT THIS MAN WAS SOOOO FINE🦆💗 which he still is 🤭😘

HAZBIN HOTEL X EYELESS JACK! READER

prompt: an eyeless man gets dared to go inside of a cartoon for some free “food”

Ben had dared you to go inside of this cartoon show that was becoming popular. You said hell no of course….but then he said the impossible…

“Would you either go in the cartoon for kidneys or listen to me tell you the whole script of the new movie.” Ben says with a knowing smirk at which one you would chose.

Never in your life have you jumped into a tv before so quick. But here you are as you stand in the middle of a red twin with dead bodies around. So you smile behind your blue mask and got to work.

You were so busy kidney hunting, you didn’t notice a tall red figure behind you smiling intrigued at how you were only looking for kidneys with your scalpel. You felt skinny hands touch your shoulders as you immediately tried to stab the hand quickly. But it was a wrong move because you got pushed by some green magic.

“Quick reflexes. Amazing my friend! You would do good for this hotel im helping” the man said as you stared at him. Before you could protest you got transported to a damn hotel.

NOW ENOUGH STORY MODE TYPE SHIT! NOW FOR THE FUN🔥

I imagine Angel one time seeing you use your tongues to eat a kidney that was in disguise and Angel had so many dirty jokes for you.

“Omg, I bet you’re a woman pleaser aren’t you?” Angel says suggestively as you just raise a brow at him not knowing what he is saying.

Charlie would try to get you to wear brighter colors, but you literally deny it as if you are still stuck in your emo phase making Charlie get war flashbacks to her own emo phase.

Imagine taking your bluemask off and scaring sir Pentious into thinking you are a ghost to steal his eyes😭 so evil but so funny.

I can see husk literally side eyeing you as you just eating. Like he is just so confused how you don’t bite on none of your other tongues.

I know some people draw ej with black fingernails, but what if Angel had painted them for you instead 💗

Imagine a cartoony moment where Angel is like “ah shit I lost my wallet..” and STARTS TO LOOK FOR IT IN YOUR EYES 😭 straight up digging his hands in ya eyeless holes to look for it and he actually did find it with a smile saying “ah Hah found it!”

Legit Angel will remind you of Ben as Angel will shove his phone in your face saying some dumb shit like. “Do you see it? Do you see it ? Do you see it?” As he has a stupid smirk on his face. You snapped grabbing Angel by his throat as the crew tried to pull you off of Angel as he struggles to breathe. “It was worth it…”

I headcannon EJ! Reader and Alastor being compatible friends because they both eat from human meat. But both different as EJ! Reader just eats the kidneys as Alastor eats the whole things

NAH IMAGINE KID EJ!READER GETTING THE LEFTOVER KIDNEYS FROM PARENT! ALASTOR’S PLATE😭💗💗 (so damn cute)

“No no, you use the little fork and the knife to cut it.” “….I literally eat with my hands.”

Just two hungry boys staring at each other while discussing flavors to make out of people.

The egg boiz likes to bring you dead sinners as you had promised them to read them bed time stories for kidneys..I mean a fair trade is a fair trade. 🦆

Idk but for me it makes sense for EJ! Reader to bite someone’s hand while sleeping cause in the fanon! slender house they are use to pranks being pulled off so many times.

Literally husk was trying to wake you up cause it was your duty to do the bar tendering and you ALMOST bit his whole hand off if it wasn’t for Husk’s scream.

I can see Lucifer trying to show you his ducks because he found how amusing how quiet and blunt you are as he practically shoved a duck in your face forgetting you don’t have eyes.

“Do you see how cute and amazing this is?! It’s a duck that can do the splits while shooting fire!” “I see.” *awkward silence* “I’m so sorry-” “sorry for what.”

I can see how your dynamic with Lucifer is like “I think I forgot something x I have it in my hand..”

Charlie once had you in red as you actually just stood there while she took photos of you. It was like you were ready for the first day of school as Charlie squealed happy to see her new staff wearing red.

“SMILEE!” Charlie say excited as you just stand there trying to smile but it came out strained showing all of your sharp teeth. “Yeah don’t ever smile again.” Angel said in the background as you jumped at him like foxy in fnaf 2 😭

I imagine you just standing there as Alastor puts his arm on your shoulder like an arm rest. Literally you are “😐 what?” face as Alastor is obviously “😄 what a lovely day!”

I can see you and niffty just playing random games during break time as husk just cleans glasses at the bar. It’s a relaxing sight for once without you trying to get someone’s kidney.

I imagine you and Adam having so much beef as he is annoying asf to you.

“Why are you eyeless? So you can’t see how ugly you are?” “No, so I can’t see how fat you basically are so it won’t affect me.”

THE WAY YOU GAGGED HIM- 😭🤭‼️

I can see the Vee’s trying to get you on their side but you would probably just flip them off as you eat a kidney.

I can imagine Vaggie trying to find out why there is black goo on the hotel stairs to find you are crying since Charlie banned you to scalpel anyone’s kidneys.

Vaggie and Charlie give you the angel dust treatment and try to find any scalpels you have in your room

I can see after the battle of the heaven and hell, you would just stand there like “🧍🏾what the fuck just happened..” as you try to scalpel a few angels only for vaggie to pull your blue hoodie away from one.

When Lucifer first met you, he thought you was a teen demon who just got hired. He wasn’t wrong for the hired part, when you first spoke that man thought he heard god himself as his eyes were wide at you.

I can headcannon Alastor bringing a sinner to your door with a note that say, “eat well <3” and you just stand there like….. “did I just get adopted by a cannibal..” you said picking up the unconscious sinner and grabbing a scalpel.

NAH CAUSE I USE TO BE FERAL FOR THIS MANNNN😨😭😭💗💗 HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS ONE!🦆‼️

876 notes · View notes

luvyeni · 1 month

Text

❛GOOD SHOT❜ ( bokseungah )

p. bestfriend!bokseungah x camgirl!reader w. 4.1k

warnings? threesome, oral ( m. receiving ), handjobs, unprotected sex, facial, nipple play, dirty talk, consensual filming

request: can you do a maknae line smut (skz) please🙏🏼??

authors note. i hope you like it, this is like 4000+ words of pure filth😭 — 𖦹 ( your best friends finding out you're a cam girl and you're not embarrassed ) !

MINORS DON'T INTERACT

“o-oh fuck.” You moaned out, the thick silicone dildo stuffed inside your cunt. “fuck it’s so big, im gonna cum.” Your moans exaggerated, but the people through the screen didn’t know that, they still paid you. “fuck im cumming!” you gasped— then a song played from your phone; someone was calling.

Who could be calling you at this moment? You made sure to always turn your phone off when you filmed videos— you must’ve forgotten this time, and it could definitely be heard on your camera.

You were a cam girl in your free time to make your living; hiding your face so you won’t be recognized, even going as far as to changing your sheets; you weren’t embarrassed but you’d rather not be in public and have a random person recognizes you as the girl who does porn

Quickly finding the phone turning it off, throwing it somewhere choosing to deal with later, coming down from your high— your fans wouldn’t care, as long as they got off they were worried about the background noise. “fuck that felt good.” you giggled. “came so much.” Pulling the toy out of you, thighs covered in your essence, as you teased your clit with the tip of the toy.

After ending the video, it was time to edit it, using the blur function to blur out your face, hitting the upload video to your account. “shit where’s my phone, i need to post it to twitter.” you search around, now in some shorts and a tank top. “ah here it is.” you picked up your phone, seeing who called you— it was jeongin, one of your best friends, you’d call in him after uploading to twitter.

“okay done.” You said hitting the upload button to twitter. “okay to see what jeongin wanted.” you searched for his number, hitting the call button. “pick up you fox.”

Jeongin searched for his phone which was ringing, trying to pause the tv with the other. “what the hell are you doing?” seungmin said; felix looking up from the tv upon hearing your name— jeongin picked up his phone. “its yn.” He said, finally hitting pause. “she must be calling me back.” Seungmin watched the boy answer the phone with a huge smile. “jesus just say you want to fuck her and call it a day.”

“don’t say that— no not you yn, seungmin being seungmin.” He said, felix laughing. “tell yn i said hi.” He said, his phone buzzing. “you too, how about you both fuck her instead of jerking off to twitter porn.” Seungmin said, felix flagging him off, ignoring him, seeing the notification for twitter. “he’s just upset i paused the tv when you called.”

“ah so he’s being a hater as user, tell him I said tighten up.” You laughed, hearing seungmin fussing in the background. “so why’d you call me?” you asked. “oh, um do you want to watch a movie tomorrow?” he asked. “we haven’t seen you in a long time.” he said. “sure, let’s do it.” you said. “you guys can come here, my tv is bigger.” seungmin spoke up again. “not everyone can afford shit, we aren’t even sure how you’re paying for shit, you don’t even have a job.”

Believe you or not you and seungmin were also best friends, you were best friends with all of them; you met them during your first year of college, you and jeongin were dorm mates, and he introduced you to felix and seungmin— you eventually moved into your own apartment once you made enough money from caming, the boys moving into the their own shared apartment for second year of university.

“you guys can argue tomorrow, we’ll bring the food okay?” you heard felix say. “i have extra beers, you guys don’t have to bring those.” jeongin hummed. “okay , see you tomorrow.” he chirped. “okay, bye innie!” you hung up.

“be careful innie i can see your boner.” seungmin teased the boy. “jesus you’ve had three years and you still haven’t fucked her, even felix has gotten somewhere with her.” felix rolled his eyes. “we were drunk and it was truth or dare.” He defended. “don’t bring me into this.” He said. “and it's still further than innie here has.”

Felix ignored them arguing back and forth, still scrolling through his twitter, coming across his recently new favorite account; a cam girl he’d came across — a new video had been posted, the video automatically playing, moans playing from his phone. “are you seriously watching porn right now?” they turned to the boy.

“no of course not, it played by itself.” He tried to turn it off. “well turn it off.” Jeongin said. “im trying the phone is frozen.” He knew should’ve bought a new one. “jesus your phone is stupid.” seungmin got up talking the phone, about to turn the phone off when a song played from the video— he knows that song, that was your favorite song, he knew that because it was also your ringtone; and those sheets, you had those sheets, and the heart shaped birthmark that on your lower hip that he saw when he accidentally walked in on you getting dressed one day when you still lived with jeongin; those same sheets in your bed.

That was the first day he ever thought about fucking you, much like his other friends.

“jesus are you seriously watching it to” jeongin said. “at least do it in your room.” he scrunched his nose in disgust. “shut up.” seungmin said, trying to see if the girl in the video would speak, is she spoke it would confirm his suspicions— and then you did and it confirmed just as he thought as soon as he saw that birthmark. “that’s yn.”

“what?” jeongin got up, looking over the boys shoulder. “you can’t even see her face, how can you tell?” he said. “I’ve watched a ton of her videos, I would’ve recognized if it was yn.” Felix said. “I doubt you’re thinking about her voice when she’s naked, bouncing on dildo.” He said flatly. “this is her voice, she owns those sheet and she has that birthmark.”

Felix turned the phone off, trying to come to terms with the fact he’d been jerking off to his best friend for the past few months. “how did you remember all this?” jeongin asked seungmin. “when you both lived together; i accidentally walked in on her getting dressed, I saw that birthmark, and she had those sheets.”

“and you remember?” felix said. “and you know her voice, seems like jeongin isn’t the only one who likes her.” He smirked, seungmin rolled his eyes. “says the one who only got a boner after finding out it was his best friend he’d been jerking off too, seems like you’ve thought about that kiss longer than you’ve should have.”

“so all of us want to fuck our best friend.” Jeongin sat back. “we’re terrible people.” He said. “not really, I mean she’s hot , anyone with eyes and a working penis would have these thoughts.” Felix said. “and fuck you can’t tell me this video wasn’t hot.” He said. “boys and girls can be friends, but i know what i want.”

“i doubt she’d want to do anything, i mean we’ve been friends for three years and she hasn’t made a move.” Jeongin said. “please she flirts all the time, you’re just stupid.” Seungmin said. “as many times she’s given you fuck me eyes and it’s completely flew over your head.” He scoffed. “its almost pathetic.” Jeongin face turned red, the thought of fucking you had always been there, but seeing that video just fueled that fire tenfold.

“how do we even tell her?” felix thought with his brain for a minute and not his cock. “that we know what she does, and that we—” his voice trailed off, seungmin finished it. “all want to fuck her? Just tell her, come on it’s yn she’d had if we held this in anyway, when we see her tomorrow there’s gonna be obvious tension, and she’s gonna be pissed if she feel left out.” He shrugged. “and by the look of those videos i doubt she doesn’t want to.” He smirked. “i can bet on it.”

The next day you got ready for the movie, sitting out the beers on the table along with a bowl of fresh popcorn— dressed in a comfy pair of shorts and a top; waiting for your friends to arrive.

“leaving your door unlocked knowing anyone could come kill you it crazy.” seungmin walked through the door. “please if the 86 year old woman across the hall manages to not break a hip while trying to murder me then she deserves it.” Standing up, grabbing the snacks from his hands. “why are you two just standing there come in and sit.” You told the boys who stood behind seungmin timidly. “I don’t know why they’re acting like they haven’t been here before.”

“literally we do this all the time, sit make yourselves comfortable, i’ll get some glasses.” you made your way into the kitchen, leaving the boys alone. “stop acting like a bunch of timid virgins and be normal for once in your lives.” Seungmin said, sitting back as you came back with a few cups. “everything alright?” felix nodded smiling. “y-yeah were fine.” You tilted your head. “innie?”

He turned to you, “you sure, seems like you can barely look me in the eyes.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “what’s up with you guys, did something happen?” you hated feeling out of the loop. “just tell me don’t have my anxiety up all night for something stupid.” you sat on the couch, sitting the cups down on the table, giving them a quick glance at your boobs, really not helping the situation.

“spill now.” you said, jeongin decided to say something. “yesterday we saw something.” He said. “and me and felix don’t think it’s true.” Seungmin scoffed speaking up. “are you a cam girl?” he said, if he was gonna be thrown under the bus, he better get something out of it. “seungmin.” Felix said, turning to you. “you don’t have to answer— yeah.” They were stunned, you answered so quickly. “really?” felix took out his phone, clicking twittet, and you’ve put two and two together. “ah so you’ve found it.”

“so that’s you.” Jeongin said, felix pulling up the video. You grabbed the phone, the recent clip you uploaded to twitter playing in front of it. “I post this one yesterday, this was new.” Seungmin smirked, the other two baffled that you were so nonchalant about it. “I told you it was her, that birthmark is too specific.” He said, you turned to him.

“you? how’d you figure it out before him.” You pointed to jeongin. “we’ve lived together, we seen each other naked plenty of times.” you questioned. “yeah well felix has been jerking off to you for the past 3 weeks and hadn’t figured it out, clearly im the only smart one.” Felix face turned red. “why would you tell her that, yn I swear I didn’t it was you until yesterday.” He said, but it didn’t bother you. “felix im not embarrassed about what i do, i make content for people to watch.”

“but im your friend.” You shrugged. “the only reason i didn’t show my face is because i didn’t want to, not because i was afraid to.” you said. “did you like it at least?” his eyes widened. “huh?” you smirked. “did you at least like it?” he shyly nodded. “you looked good.” He said. “I know, I did.”

“you’re really cocky.” Seungmin spoke up. “its annoying.” You rolled your eyes. “whats annoying is instead of using your words and just saying you wanna fuck me, you try and get under my skin.” you bit back. “its been three years minnie , im not dumb, at least jeongin tried to hide it.” jeongins face turned read. “it took me a little longer to figure him out, but you, you don’t even hide it, you just try and hide it by petty bickering with me like you’re a kid.”

“yeah?” seungmin stood up from the chair, his body towering over your sitting one, you looked up at him, a smirk that he desperately want to take off painting on your face. “is that what gets you off when you’re fucking yourself with those toys, the thought of your best friends wanting to fuck you.”

He words slightly threw you off, because he wasn’t wrong, there was a few times on and off camera were you came to the thought of one of closest friends fucking you— it was him time to smirk. “what I tell you guys, girls like her are easy to read.” he said, his hand coming up to your hair, you allowed it, it was actually turning you on especially with the audience. “always desperate to be fuck, no matter who it is.” He said. “you’d fuck your viewers if you could wouldn’t you?” you whimpered as his hand tightened in your hair. “lets make the sluts dreams come true, felix is a viewer no?” he turned to the boy, who was shifting in his seat watching the scene go down. “felix get over here.”

He released your hair, his hand coming to the strap of the tanktop. “take it off, it's let doing much anyway, we can see your tits through the shirt anyway.” He moved to the side, allowing you to take the shirt off and for felix to move in his place. “go a head, suck him off you know you want to.” It was clear who was in charge of the whole thing now, and it wasn’t you.

“yo-you don’t have to.” Felix said, as hard as he was, he didn’t want to force you to do anything you didn’t want to do. “but i want to, I really do.” you said. “you heard her, so get over here and stop being such a pussy.” Seungmin said; felix got up replacing his spot, standing in front of you, his bulge in your face. “don’t just stare at it, take it out and suck him off.”

You undid the strings to his sweat, putting your hand in his pants, fishing his cock out. “fuck.” He sighed, as you stroked his cock. “you’re so big.” You kissed his tip, giving it a few kitty licks. “please put it in your mouth.” He moaned, his hands flying to your hair as soon as you took him into your mouth. “fuck.”

Jeongin watched this all play out and he was definitely not okay, watching you suck his friends cock did more to him than he thought it should, his cock ready to be freed. “yn.” he reached for your hand, seungmin watched him put your hand on his boner, you squeezed him through his jeans. ““don’t forget your precious innie, we all know how much you want to fuck him.” He said.

Jeongin unbuckled his jeans, pulling them down along with his underwear. “shit, stroke it for me.” He sighed as you moved your hand up and down on his shaft. “fuck.” He groaned, the living room filled with felix and jeongins moans; along with the noises coming from you as felix fucked your face. “fuck your mouth feels so good.”

“how about we film this?” seungmin said. “since you like being on camera so much.” He took out his phone. “I bet your viewers would love seeing you all slutted out like this.” He hit record on his phone, recording you having your face fucked your best friend while you slowly jerked off your other best friend. “there we go our own little yn loves being fucked on camera.”

You felt felix speeding up, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat, making you gag around him. “fuck im gonna cum.” He whimpered, pushing your head down, making you take his cock all the way down to his pubic bone. “shit im cumming.” He grunted, his cock twitching— ropes of his cum shooting down your throat. “shit.” He pulled his cocked out your mouth, letting you finally breathe. “that felt so fucking good.”

“here hold this.” Seungmin handed the phone to felix. “i want this slutty cunt first.” He said. “lay on your side.” He commanded, you compiled; jeongins cock in your face. “why do you get to fuck her first?” Seungmin glared at felix.

“earlier you both were about to throw me under the bus and im the only one who hasn’t acted like a pussy this entire time.” He said. “now hold the camera right.”

He pulled your shorts off your legs, along with your panties. “look at that wet cunt.” He lifted your leg. “show the camera her slutty wet cunt.” You felt his fingers brush across your cunt, as felix moved closer with the camera.

“so fucking messy.” He finally freed himself from his pants, lining himself up with your hole. “gonna stretch this cunt better than those toys you fuck.” You felt him entering you. “fuck seungmin.” You moaned. “jesus this cunt is so tight.” He grunted, holding your leg up, straddling your other one as he fucked you. “those dildos must not be working.”

Felt jeongins hand on your boob, playing with your nipples; your head in his lap, right where his cock was. “suck him off.” Felix said, his eyes much darker than before, and now full of lust. “fuck, you heard him do it.” Seungmin said, you took him into your mouth, he squeezed your boob, groaning as you took him fully. “oh fuck.” Jeongin held your head down, seungmin fucking into you much fast, forcing you on his cock more, gagging around his length. “shit im gonna cum.”

Seungmin on the other hand felt his orgasm approaching, vigorously fucking your cunt. “fuck im gonna cum all over this cunt.” You moaned around jeongins length. “fuck, do that again and im gonna cum down your throat.”

Felix watched through the phone, his cock getting hard again. “shit this is so hot.” He groaned, watching you struggle to fit jeongin into your mouth due to the angle while seungmin fucked you. “fuck im cumming.” Seungmin groaned, pulling out as his cock twitched, as he came all over your cunt. “shit such a messy slut.” He slapped your cunt. “fuck felix you’ll have fun with her, real tight cunt.”

Jeongin bucked up into your mouth a few times , grabbing the back of your head. “fuck im cumming!” he finally released himself in your mouth. “shit.”

Felix replaced seungmin, handing the phone off to jeongin, rubbing figure eights on your clit. “wanna make you cum first.” He stuffed his fingers inside you. “fuck you really are tight.” He scissored you open. “fu-fuck lix, please make me cum.” You whined. “you heard her lix , make the slut cum.” He removed his fingers, replacing it with his cock. “lixie!” you squealed, he shut his eyes as your cunt squeezed him. “oh fuck your pussy feels good.”

“lixie im gonna cum.” You moaned out. “go a head, show the camera how you cum.” Hearing those words from the boy who was too shy to do anything a few minutes ago was all you need to make you cum. “oh fuck you’re squeezing my dick.” He grunted, fucking into you faster. “shit im gonna cum.” felix pulled out, stroking his cock, letting him cum spill all over your stomach. “fucking hell.”

The camera still rolling as you took a few breaths. “you want more?” seungmin said, taking the camera back, you nodded. “let’s give the whore what she wants then.” You sat up, jeongin grabbed your waist. “show the camera how you ride, do to me what you did to that stupid toy.” Jeongin said in your ear, his voice low. “come on, sit on my cock.” He held your waist, letting you slowly engulf his cock. “oh fuck.” He groaned, as you fully sat down on him. “move for me.”

You began to move up and down on his cock moaning out his name as his hand came up to your boob, squeezing. “look at the pretty slut.” Seungmin grab your face, the camera on you. “want you to suck me off.” He said, handing the camera back to felix. “come on open that mouth, you can take one more cock.” He said tapping his tip of your tongue. “suck.”

Felix got up, his cock still rock hard, bobbing against his stomach as he held the camera in his hands. “can you help me out?” you hummed , your mouth full of seungmin, taking him into your hand , letting his fuck you hand. “fuck squeeze it just a little.” He moaned out, fuck your fist. “fuck im gonna cum all over your tits.” He groaned.

“look at the slut, so cock drunk.” Seungmin said, jeongin bouncing you on his cock. “letting us use you like this -fuck- gonna let me cum all over your face.” His hips snapped against your face, making you take his cock all the way down your throat.

You moaned out, clenching down on jeongin as you came for the second time ,he hissed. “oh fuck , im gonna cum.” He groaned, you clenched again. “fuck get up.” he lifted you off of him, just in time too, cause soon he was cumming, some of it getting on your stomach and thighs. “fuck.” He rubbed your clit. “fuck cum for us again.” He grunted in your ear.

Felix came second, cursing out as he came all over your tits. “sh-shit so pretty.” His hands came to your boobs, toying with your nipples while jeongin played with your clit. “cum one more time for the camera.” Felix coaxed you. “you can do it, pretty go ahead and cum.” You gasped out, letting the knot in your stomach snapping. “fuck.” You felt your juices spray out of you. “fuck she squirted.”

“good slut, gonna cum all over your faace as a reward.” Seungmin pulled out of your mouth a trail of spit following as he stroked his cock until he came covering your face with his seed. “look at you all covered in cum.” He scooped a little bit of cum off your lip, pushing it into your mouth. “suck.” He said.

Felix stopped the camera, finally letting you rest. “you okay, do you need anything?” he said. “A shower.” Your voice was gone. “jesus we did number on you.” Seungmin teased, you shot him the finger with a eye roll. “oh really, think you could go for another round right.” Your eyes widened. “stay away from me.” You said.

Felix helped you in the shower, jeongin knocking on the door. “I need some pants, you made a mess on me.” Your face heated up. “so-sorry, there’s some sweatpants in my drawer that are way too big for me in my drawer.” He smiled. “and don’t worry about it, i would’ve been upset had it been anyone else.”

“i got you some clothes out to wear.” Felix said, all of them now standing in your bedroom as you walked out. “thank you lix at least you care about my wellbeing.” Seungmin scoffed as you kissed felixs cheek. “well how about I call the food delivery back and tell them not to come.”

“and I picked your favorite movie and got it all ready so we can watch it in here so you don’t have to sit on your uncomfortable couch.” Jeongin said now in a pair of sweats. “hmm, well thank you.” You changed into your clothes, climbing into bed. “I found your draw of toys.” Seungmin opened the drawer. “jesus you are into some crazy shit.” He said, picking up the various toys. “se-seungmin put those down and come sit down.” Felix said with red ears. “fine.” He picked up the vibrator one last time, lifting his eyebrow to show you, you covered face. “seungmin.” Jeongin pulled him to his seat. “im done, im done, jesus she just took three cocks on camera yet she’s all shy now.”

“send me that video.” You said, felix feeding you some of the chicken seungmin ordered. “why?” jeongin said. “memories innie.” You said sarcastically. “why else?” you said. “she gonna post it.” Seungmin said. “but your face is in it, you sure?” felix said, you shrugged. “I don’t care, it’s hot and I don’t have to film next week.” you said. “you guys don’t mind it right? I mean I can blur you out.” You said.

“I don’t care.” Jeongin said, felix agreeing. “I wouldn’t have filmed it had I not wanted it to be posted.” Seungmin said. “good, I’ll edit and post it next week, now I don’t have to film.” You said. “I can’t believe seungmin was the one to find out first, I always knew you were staring too hard that day you walked into my room.” You smirked, he scoffed.

“you were naked , of course I was starring.”

©️LUVYENI

532 notes · View notes

h4m1lt0ns · 9 months

Text

HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.

episode one :: SELFISH.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴max verstappen x singer!y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔five years worth of love thrown away in the trash, all at y/n’s expense.

fc – wonyoung jang (aged up to 28)

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕cheating, angst.

[may, 15 2023]

y/n

♡ liked by redbullracing, danielricciardo and 4,294,103 others.

y/n here’s to five years of u being fuckin annoying. i love you maximilian.

839,193 comments.

maxverstappen1 i love you so so much more

maxverstappen1 wait that’s not my name

→ username LMFAOOOO 😭

→ username PLSSSSS

username this is so cute i will cry

username very normal abt this. very.

username five years is long enough y/n you can come back home now 😍

username how much is her paying her bc HOW

redbullracing our favourite couple 😍💙

username i dont know man i still don’t like him

username parents 🗣

username mama y papa ong

username not my wife posting her man like

username they’re so goals 😩🤌🏻

username i want what u cunts have

username god me when 🧎🏽‍♀️

username a gf like y/n pretty pls 🙏🏻

username i want u so bad y/n it’s not even funny anymore

username praying to whatever fucking god max prayed to

username how did max bag you we’ll never know

username leave him for me bae i can drive and be dutch too 🤞🏽🤞🏽

username GIVE US Y/N BACK MAX 🔫

username y/n come over pls. and don’t bring him.

username five years later and i still don’t think he’s good enough for her

load more comments…

☆ IMESSAGE with ; honey badger

honey badger: where are you

y/n: ???

y/n: in the studio rn, do u need anything?

honey badger: huh

honey badger: wait are you not coming?

honey badger: i thought we were doing

karaoke together ☹️

y/n: bro what are u talking about

y/n: come where? i already have plans tonight

honey badger: i’m ??

honey badger: hold on

y/n: …danny? 😀

honey badger: bro why aren’t you here

y/n: BROS NOT MAKING SENSE 🔥 🔥 🔥

honey badger: bae we’re all at the usual club

rn and i was wondering why you’re not here 😃

y/n:…

y/n: now who the fuck is we.

honey badger: 😭😭😭😭

honey badger: bro how do u not know

honey badger: didn’t max tell you? we’re supposed

to go out

honey badger: y/n?

y/n: wait

y/n: oh this motherfucker

honey badger: wait what

y/n: is max with you

honey badger: bestie i’m scared what’s going on

yn: we’ve been fighting recently

y/n: him and i are supposed to go out

for our anniversary and to talk things out

why the fuck is he at a fucking club

y/n: and he didn’t even fucking tell me

y/n: this the second year in a row what

the fuck is his fucking problem

honey badger: wOAHHHHHH

honey badger: HOLD ONNNN

honey badger: CALL ME RNNN

☆ IMESSAGE with ; funeral guest list.

honey badger removed maximilian!

honey badger: y/n pick up the phone

honey badger: come on please

chal eclair: y/n please answer the call

my baby lando: y/n please

alabono: i’m sorry we couldn’t stop him

chal eclair: ^^^

chili!: y/n come on now

chili!: y/n please answer the call amor

princess george: y/n we know it’s hard but we need to know if you’re okay

PIERRE GASLYYYY: we’re all worried y/n

PIERRE GASLYYYY: GUYS SHE ANSWERED KIKA’S CALL

chal eclair: i see how it is y/n 😐

my baby lando: mom do u not love me anymore

chili!: woooooowwwwww okay y/n

honey badger: all of you shut the fuck up

honey badger: pierre what’s kika saying

alabono: lily and carmen are on their way to you y/n

PIERRE GASLYYYY: she’s crying

PIERRE GASLYYYY: while cussing out max

PIERRE GASLYYYY: but crying hard

chili!: so y/n of her

my baby lando: real

yukino: i will run him over for you 💕

chal eclair: okay relax

chili!: true

my baby lando: yes but not now

honey badger: y/n say something

alabono: lily and carmen are with her now

alabono: she’s not okay guys 😕

yukino: what are they saying

alabono: she’s crying really hard and isn’t breathing well

my baby lando: WHAT ELSE

chal eclair: IS SHE SAFE

honey badger: DOES SHE NEED ANYTHING

chili!: alex i swear to god 😃

alabono: she’s safe and doesn’t need anything rn. lily and carmen are gonna sleep over w her, they won’t leave her alone

princess george: oh okay thank god

my baby lando: i blocked max but someone tell him it’s on fucking sight when i see him

chal eclair: i second that

yukino: count me in

PIERRE GASLYYYY: kika said we’re setting his house on fire

alabono: bringing the gas

#max verstappen x reader #carlos sainz x reader #charles leclerc x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #alex albon x reader #yuki tsunoda x reader #pierre gasly x trader #lando norris x reader #george russell x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 #f1 fanfiction #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you

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wh0reforcoriolanussnow · 5 months

Text

Billy the Kid set (insta feed) || Tom Blyth x actress!reader

Summary: this is literally just a bunch of insta posts of you and Tom on set of Billy the kid also mixed with abit of Dad!Tom cause I couldn’t resist myself <33 THIS WAS SO FUN TO MAKE

Warnings: fem!reader noneee

Wc: 743

divider by @pommecita

y/n_y/l/n

Liked by tomblyth, billythekidmgm, danielwebber, alexmroe and 6,037,158 others

Got dragged in to this 😐 fishing is not my forte.

view all comments

tomblyth: darling, you loved it.

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: did I though?

danielwebber: specifically loved the part where you tripped and landed on your ass in the water, very entertaining 👏👏

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: maybe if you guys had told me that we would be going fishing, I would’ve worn more appropriate foot attire 😃

alexmroe: a day I will never forget!

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: please do.

user24: I love this cast smmm

user947: who else is here from tbosas after finding out that these two are each other’s love interest once again 🙋‍♀️

↘️ user109: yup.

↘️ user13: MEEEE 🙋‍♀️

↘️ user005: I couldn’t get enough of them in tbosas so here I am 😂

user464: I love it when y/n posts bts content, she knows what we want.

user87: y/n feeding us more Tom content 🫡

y/n_y/l/n

Liked by tomblyth, joshandresrivera, billythekidmgm, horatio.james and 5,243,936 others

My fav look <33 (fun fact: the dress was hand painted 🥹)

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tomblyth: my gorgeous gorgeous girl 😍

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: 🥰

user86: AHHHHHH HIS COMMENT

user150: ‘my gorgeous gorgeous girl’ he’s actually talking abt me hehehehe

user328: Dulcinea was serving looks the entire season, and that’s on periodt.

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: 🤭 couldn’t agree more

↘️ user328: YOU RESPONDED AHHHH ILY

↘️ user25: FACTS

tomblyth

Liked by y/n_y/l/n, nuriaavegaa, billythekidmgm, rachelzegler and 8,932,451 others

Past couple of weeks 🎬

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user672: oh to be y/n y/l/n 😫

siobhan: will miss u all!!!

↘️ tomblyth: it was nice knowing ya Mrs Riley 🤠

↘️ siobhan: wish I hadn’t gotten shot in the head by my dbag husband (all your fault @shaunmbenson)

user19: the last picture awhhhh @y/n_y/l/n

↘️ tomblyth: she’s actually a horse whisperer

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: I am 🤫

↘️ user19: NO WAY YOU BOTH REPLIED OMFG

user465: Billy the Kid makes me weak in the knees oml

user348: omw to rewatch BTK for the millionth time 🏃‍♀️

tomblyth

Liked by rachelzegler, y/n_y/l/n, danielwebber, dakotadaulby and 10,397,262 others

Elsie when I first started filming s1 of BTK in 2021 and Elsie now during s2 🥹 Happy birthday my love <3 love you with all my heart!

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y/n_y/l/n: time flies 😭

↘️ tomblyth: our little girl isn’t so little anymore!

billythekidmgm: happy birthday Elsie! we LOVE seeing your happy face at set 💞

danielwebber: i remember holding her for the first time as a baby like it was yesterday 🥹

rachelzegler: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELS! I need to see you soon sweetheart 😭

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: she misses u and josh like crazy!!

user287: STOP MY HEART CANT WITH THIS

user932: Elsie is so freakin cute!!

user02: imagine being able to say Tom Blyth and Y/n Y/l/n are your parents…. nepo baby!

user461: the first picture of y/n and Elsie 😭 this post is too adorable!

alexmroe

Liked by y/n_y/l/n, tomblyth, horatio.james, danielwebber and 1,937,261 others

Yeehaw 🤠

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y/n_y/l/n: i took the fifth pic 🙋‍♀️🤭

↘️ alexmroe: yes, yes, fifth pic creds goes to u

y/n_y/l/n: oml my tan in the last pic……

tomblyth: we’re so cute @y/n_y/l/n

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: we are aren’t we 🤭

↘️ user287: DAMN RIGHT. THE CUTEST COUPLE

↘️ user109: u guys r literally so wholesome i cant w it

user88: AWEEEE the last pic!!!

user163: excuse me- the third pic- DAMN TOM IS FINE

user847: I love seeing Tom in a cowboy hat 🫶

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: same.

y/n_y/l/n

Liked by tomblyth, siobhan, ashleyjliao, billythekidmgm, joshandresrivera and 9,789,252 others

life recently. Alberta, ily!

view all comments

ashleyjliao: 😍😍

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: Miss u bb x

joshandresrivera: 3rd pic 🤣

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: yk how he is with the cold 🥶

↘️ tomblyth: oh hush, I was being reasonable unlike you who was wearing a tank and shorts.

user63: Tom and Elsie 😭

user912: Y/n wearing Tom’s hat in the first pic 🤭

↘️ tomblyth: she steals it all the time

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: SHHHH

user108: why do I sometimes forget that Tom has a literal 4 year old daughter

user143: yessss keep feeding us Tom x Elsie content!!!!

user622: she’s hot, she has an even hotter boyf, a cute daughter, she’s rich, popular, an AMAZING actress, she’s literally winning at life 😫

user150: lol I wondered why their chemistry was so good in tbosas and btk. ITS CAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER IRL.

819 notes · View notes

froggibus · 3 months

Text

Valentine's NSFW - Overwatch Men

Pairings: Baptiste, Cassidy, Genji, Hanzo, Ramattra & Reaper x fem! reader (reader uses she/her pronouns + has a pussy)

Genre: smut/NSFW

CW: cheesy Valentines things, aftercare, manhandling, bondage, role play, toys, shibari, praise, degradation, dirty talk, oral (giving & receiving) unprotected sex, p in v, cum stuffing, overstimulation, cervix fucking, teasing

i flopped so hard this Valentine’s Day but here’s some overwatch content 😭 im sorry my fellow lucio enjoyers i simply couldn’t do it i could not write him for valentines

—

Baptiste:

he’s a busy man, it’s a rare occasion that he has a day off, let alone two

wants to make the most of his time with you

takes his time to decorate your room, even changing the sheets to nice red ones and lighting some candles

for him it’s all about the ambience

takes his time to seduce you, starting with kissing you, then moving down your neck and so on

takes his time with your chest, his expert hands turning you into a moaning mess

when you’re finally so wet that you’re begging him just to touch you, he knows you’re ready

has you spread out on the bed, his head buried between your legs

it’s been so long since he was able to eat you out, it’s like a feast to him

doesn’t stop until you’ve came on his face at least twice, until his beard and chin are dripping with your juices

he’s so gentle but so intentional with his touches

teases your clit with his cock and laughs at the way you squirm and plead for him to put it in

once he puts it in, it’s not coming out until he’s fully satisfied

the man is insatiable, he’s drilling his cock into you like he’s trying to push it straight into your womb

it brushes your cervix and makes you wince, the pain only adding to the overwhelming pleasure you feel

loves cumming inside of you but saves it for special occasions like today

his aftercare is unmatched, the man has a basket of things to help soothe you after the fact

he’ll massage your shoulders and talk you down

and always forces you to pee because god forbid you get a UTI (although he’d take extra good care of you then, too)

Cassidy:

wants to try absolutely anything

he’s always a kinky mf but Valentine’s is his excuse to dial it up to 11

buys you cute underwear that you can show off to him

wants to roleplay

once you get in bed with this man you’re not getting out all night

he’ll have your hands cuffed behind your back while he watches you try to ride him

just watching you struggle to take his cock without bracing yourself with his hands is enough to have him cumming

it’s just so cute how pathetic you are, dragging your walls up and down his thick cock and whining how it’s “too much”

gets tired of your whining and has you flipped in doggy, your head pressed into the mattress

this man is breeding you for hours

even after your pussy is aching and dripping with his cum, he’ll try to keep going

switches between praise and degradation so fast he gives you whiplash

“so good f’me…takin’ my cock so well.”

spanks you if you get too quiet

“fuck, you’re sucha slut for me, aren’t ya?”

there will be bruises on your wrists from the handcuffs

when he finally lets you out of the bed, you can’t even walk on your own

so he runs you a hot bath with nice smelling salts, candles and lotions

Genji:

kinky mf

he’s probably been preparing for tonight for months

has some of that aphrodisiac chocolate and definitely feeds it to you

so much foreplay

he has you laying against his chest, legs spread out over his own, your pussy wide open for his fingers to dip into

he loves playing with you and teasing you, listening to you whimper that’s it’s ’too much’ and you ‘can’t take it anymore’

your cute whines must make him want to bury his cock in you and pound you

but tonight is about you and he wants to take his time

definitely brought some toys with him, like a magic wand and a rabbit

has the vibrator pressed against your clit while he fingers you

even after you cum a few times and whine about how you’re getting overstimulated, he still wants to fuck you until your brain is mush

it’s sweet relief when he finally puts the toys away and lays you down on the bed

you weakly spread your legs around his hips and give him access to your puffy pussy

feels so fucking good

he gets so deep inside you every time, and he’s going slow enough that you can feel it every time his cockhead brushes your walls

whispers praises in your ear about how good you are, about how you just need to give him one more and he’ll be done

“one more” turns into an extra hour

by the end of the night, you’re completely fucked out and drooling, your pussy aching from how good he took care of you

helps you clean yourself up, planting kisses on your burning skin

Hanzo:

SHIBARI

he’s been waiting so long for you to want to try it

you run to the bedroom when you get back from dinner

Hanzo is so patient waiting outside until you finally yell come in

you’ve stripped yourself to just your lingerie and you’re kneeling on the floor, holding silky red ropes in your hands

he’s instantly hard just seeing you submit to him

binds you up so nicely in the pretty little ropes, making sure you’re properly tied but keeping all your good places on display

manhandles you in front of him so he can prod at that pretty mouth with his cock

smears pre all of your lips and cheeks before pushing past your mouth and finally feeling your tongue on his length

you look so cute and helpless sitting beneath him and slobbering on his cock

probably straight up carries you by the ropes on your back and tosses you into the bed

you are doing it in every position tonight

bent over, balls slapping your clit with every thrust

on top of him, laying on his chest clawing desperately while he pounds you

against the wall, over the bed, on your knees, on his lap

he’s taking you any way he can

ends it in a mating press, undoing some of the ropes to offer you enough slack to fold your knees into your chest

leans over and coos about how cute you look with tears and cum smeared on your face

you’re stuffed with cum at the end of the night, laid out in the bed, face on his chest

Ramattra:

has no idea what Valentines is, and even after you explain doesn’t quite understand it

but if it’s important to you…

is teasing you the whole fucking day

pinning you against the wall and rubbing your pussy until you’re dripping wet, pulling you into his lap when you walk by so you can feel the thrumming in his crotch plate

he wants you soaked, prepped and ready for him at any time so that when he does decide to take you, he doesn’t have to waste any time

has you cockwarming him while he does work, an arm around your waist to hold you down on his massive length while his other taps away at a keyboard

you’re squirming and writhing in his lap for more but his grip is like iron

eventually he gives in to your incessant pleasing

“it’s St Valentines after all”

but don’t even think about trying to disobey him or try anything funny

pretty much uses you like a flesh light the rest of the night

the benefit of him being so strong is that he can manoeuvre you in anyway that he wants

and given that he’s an omnic, he can go all night and never falter

he’s brutal with his thrusts, pounding into you until your juices are spraying out and coating the plates of his thighs

“Look at how you’re gushing on me,” he teases, “look at how ruined your pussy is.”

probably fucks you until you’re on the verge of falling asleep

after he’s done with you, when you’re laying and looking al cute and fucked out in his bed

he’ll just brush your hair away from your face. “Happy St Valentine’s, dear.”

Reaper:

he does not give a fuck about Valentine’s Day

but if it gives him an excuse to take you in anyway he wants, he’s in

absolutely not what he has in mind when you’re binding him to your headboard with handcuffs

he won’t admit it but he’s into it

you spend over an hour just teasing him

rubbing, licking, drooling on his cock, watching the way he shifts uncomfortably with every move

it’s only after he calls out, “just fuck me or move on, please” that you listen to him

Reyes never says please so you know he’s desperate

of course you won’t even think about putting his cock inside of you until he's came in your mouth at least once

when you finally straddle his hips and sink down on his cock, Reaper is beyond impatient

he’s straining against his handcuffs, telling you what a whore you are and how he can’t wait to get out of these and fuck you silly

you ride him painfully slow, scratching up his chest with your nails as you slide up and down his cock

eventually you get desperate and start bouncing even more, forcing his cock as deep as it can go

just as you’re about to cum, Reaper snaps the bedposts and frees his hands

you’re in shock from the pure fucking strength it took and have no time to react before he’s flipping you on your back and taking you

the muscles in his arms are strained as he props himself up above you, veins protruding

just for teasing him, you’re not leaving the room until you’ve come at least three or four times

or unless you beg for mercy (though Gabe is a wild card, and it’s a 50/50 if he’ll even let you go)

—

masterlist | overwatch masterlist

666 notes · View notes

lewisvinga · 3 months

Text

my shot | alex albon x fem! reader x lily muni he

summary; after admitting in an interview about their crush on a certain youtuber, alex and lily decide to shoot their shot through instagram

fc; tara yummy

warnings; ?? none i think

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1

notes; requested ! i’m obsessed w tara yummy rn

masterlist !

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, and others !

yourusername: let’s go to the beach each

username: the shirt 😭😭😭

username: i just know y/n was struggling in the 5 ft end

yourusername: i was , i suck at swimming 🤕🤕

lilymhe: crazy i know how to swim !

username: lily what are u doing here 😭😭

username: the last picture is so cunty i love it

username: she’s so queen

username: not lily and alex in the likes 😭

alex_albon: let’s go get a wave

yourusername: they say what they gonna say

alex_albon: have a drink, clink, found a bud light

yourusername: bad bitches like me are hard to come by

lilymhe: you are the baddest bitch

username: this comment thread ???😭😭

username: alex albon’s attempt at flirting it just singing nicki minaj

username: he has a gf tho

username: you can’t tell me they both aren’t in love w her…

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; last few days here 😴] [caption 2; tanning bc i can’t swim]

lilymhe replied to your story !

lilymhe so you really can’t swim?

yourusername lol i suck at it, i always use floaties when i’m in the pool & i refuse to go in the ocean😭

lilymhe maybe if we happen to be in the same place , i can teach you😁😁

yourusername you just wanna see me in a bikini don’t you🥴

lilymhe i mean yes. deleted !

lilymhe just helping a girl out and shooting my shot?😁😁

yourusername ur cute

lilymhe and i think ur cuter

yourusername you and….

lilymhe alex and i think you’re cute 😁

yourusername: i’ll be at the miami gp btw, maybe you both can teach me how to swim😌

lilymhe oh, we’re ready, pretty girl

alex_albon replied to your story !

alex_albon heyyyy[100% rizz]

yourusername: oh your girlfriend is much better at this than you are

alex_albon i’m trying 😔

alex_albon but i managed to pull her anyways 🤓

yourusername you’re a dork but it’s cute🤕

alex_albon so me shooting my shot is working?😁😁

yourusername oh 100%

alex_albon a little birdie told me you’re going to the miami gp?

yourusername yeah, might be dressed in ferrari red

alex_albon why not williams blue? you should come to our garage instead 😁

yourusername hmmm u gotta convince me, pretty boy 🧐

alex_albon well, lily and i will be there , isn’t that enough?

yourusername you’re right ,

yourusername i’ll see you in the williams garage then, pretty boy😇

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, and others !

yourusername: i like to see cars racing now i guess

tagged; lilymhe, alex_albon, williamsracing

williamsracing: the cuntiest guest in our garage

yourusername: why thank u admin

lilymhe: ugh you’re gorgeous 😩

yourusername: hello?? you’re the most gorgeous 🥴🥴

lilymhe: in my f1 driver era liked by yourusername !

alex_albon: i feel so special knowing i had the 2 prettiest girls ever rooting for me

yourusername: you’re a dork but i’ll cheer for u every race 🤓

username: OMG HELLO😀

username: my fave youtuber and f1?? i’m so??

username: alex lily n y/n are acting very suspicious…….🧐🧐🧐

username: i just wanna know how this all happened

username: imagine lily and alex sliding into her dms 😭😭😭

username: they’re just like me fr

username: i gotta be REAL honest w y’all, they’d look hot asf as a throuple

username: oomf are u insane

username: look at oomf dawg😭😭😭

username: no i get it

#formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 smau #f1 scenario #formula one scenarios #f1 imagine #formula one imagines #formula one imagine #f1 scenarios #formula one social media au #alex albon smau #alex albon scenarios #alex albon x reader #lily muni he x reader

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neo-percs · 4 months

Note

can u write about mark + mirror sex please please pleaseee

WHATS HATNIN’ ?:: mark lee

warning:: mirror sex, hair pulling, taking pictures, oral (m!receiving), hickeys, p in v sex, porn with no real plot, scratching, reverse cowgirl, doggy style, unprotected sex, headlock, posesive! Mark, sitautionship.

summary:: even if you two aren’t dating you know better. or at least that’s what mark thought, yet his eyes seemed to be amazed when he sees you posting a picture of you and a guy in your bedroom. a mirror picture.

inspo:: what’s hatnin’ by just Bieber, I literally cannot get out of my light skinned Justin era😭

the ugly feeling in Mark’s chest had become so transparent the moment he stepped out of his apartment keys in hand and phone in the other as he watched your story seeing a guy laying in his girls bed taking a picture of them laying next to each other in the mirror. To say mark was pissed would be the understatement of the century. Mark was utterly fuming, ready to show up at your place and rock that guys world.

Mark had never moved so fast to get to your place, loving the feeling of moving slow enough to keep you on your toes even though he is just as eager as anyone to see you. But Mark knows better than anyone when it comes down to you, he doesn’t share. He doesn’t care if you two are just hooking, officially dating, or friends with benefits. He can share a drink, a pizza, a bag of candy, but never you. That’s where Mark draws the line. And if anyone unknowingly or not even let the idea slip of getting with you; Mark would be right there to knock that shit right back to its root of thought.

His hair is damp from his shower, he was even more hot in the face at the thought that he couldn’t even relax without you going and stringing some poor guy along into your fuckery that would ultimately lead to you being in the same exact bed you were just in with him and being fucked stupid. Not that Mark minded putting you in your place where you belong; with him.

The moment he stands in front of your apartment he doesn’t have patience to be quiet and gentle, he balls up his fist banging on the hard wooden door waiting to for your face to pop up between the crack and chain lock before opening it. “What are you doing here? Did you text me?” You ask completely oblivious to his anger which riles Mark up even more he pushes the door open and his sheer force or lack of yours for that matter choking you up.

The feeling of his fist balling up your hair pulling your head back to fully look him in his eyes makes your eyes go wide and your voice die in your throat. “You like being around other guys right? You like entertaining little boys?” He asks making your hand press against his chest gripping desperately at his shirt.

“No- i don’t” you say but Mark doesn’t want to hear some bullshit excuse you’ll throw at him. “No? Then why’re you posting other dudes on your story? In your bed? Huh?” He says but he knows the answer and he doesn’t have time for theatrics. “He’s a guy i went college with Mark.” You say pulling at his shirt.

‘Right, college” he says but doesn’t care enough to hear or even know anymore. He was in your space, the sacred space Mark had made seem like was his second place residing there almost every night with some of his own belongings sitting around to remind you of him. Mark grips your hair tighter making you wince.

Dragging you along with every heart pounding step he took towards your bedroom, heart ready to fall out your ass at how rough he was being with you though it truly makes no difference to you as you knew awaited you on the other side of your bedroom door. “Dressin’ up and shit, what you wanna impress him? Getting all cute.” He says slamming the door to your room open and slamming it shut behind I’m as he pulls you towards the end of your bed.

“you like pissin’ me off don’t you? Shit gets you all excited huh?” He says now use deliberately picking at you because he knows you better than anyone that you’ll cave to his attitude, and you’d do anything to make it better. “No I swear, we were just catchin’ up” you say defensively. “In your bed? No.” Mark doesn’t want to hear it anymore.

His hand pulls you down to your knees in front of your mirror as he stands in front of you. “You like your mirror so much right? Like takin’ pictures with little boys. Take a picture now” he says his tone is teasing but it wasn’t an ounce of amusement behind his eyes. Making you pull your phone from your back pocket you reach up to give him the phone with no words said but he scoffs.

“Nah, you do it. You took pictures of him in your mirror why can’t you now?” Mark won’t let the mean persona crack one bit. Pulling your head back to lean down and press a kiss to your lips knowing now your irritation was leaking in, but a kiss would shut you up before you even got started.

You soften up looking at him as he pulls away slowly looking you in your eyes perking up his brows before kissing you once more harder then standing at his full height. You open your camera snapping pictures while you both hold eye contact. The shrill feeling of embarrassment creeps up on you making you pull your eyes away and press your life head to his thighs the second his grip loosened but immediately tightens the second your head lands on his thighs.

“Nah, don’t look away now. Look at yourself.” He demands and it makes you pull away as your face heats up more embarrassed than any moment before Mark had confronted you at the front door. Hesitantly you look at the mirror seeing his hands bulging with veins from his tight grip making your thighs press together.

“You don’t like this shit but remember what got you here” he says the ugly feeling he got seeing you and whoever the guy was. “Mark, he was literally just a friend- I didn’t plan on talking to him again” you say but it falls on deaf ears as Mark tugs your hair. “Get back to it. You’re not done” he says using his free hand to point to your phone.

You sigh and snap pictures not ripping your face away from looking up at Mark. Snapping a few too many in your opinion, yet you snapped until Mark said stop. And when you dropped your phone and slid it away mark finally lets go of his grip on your hair, crouching to your level. “You see how that shit feels?” He says looking you in your eyes making your eyes slightly widen.

“What?” You ask not catching the meaning behind his words but it doesn’t take long for Mark to answer. “Seeing my girl posting another dude? It’s fucking embarrassing, that shit pissed me off” he says his index and thumb gripping at your chin gently. “I don’t like seeing you with other people. It doesn’t sit right” Mark says, though he’s made it a point to always get the message across that he hates sharing you with anyone you’d never heard him outright say he was jealous.

“Arguing’s not gonna fix the problem” Mark says softly before littering your lips and face in kisses making you sigh knowing that whatever mark chooses to do to resolve his feelings at the moment you’d be content. “Ok” you shortly answer against his lips with a small sigh as he stands up and sits at the end of your bed still visible in the mirror. You knew Mark was waiting on you to make him feel better. You take the initiate sliding your knees against the floor feeling the ache in your bones as you settle between his legs.

Hands pressing against his legs sweatpants bringing warmth to the back of your palms until your hands reach the subtle bulge poking through the thick grey fabric. Mark releasing a sigh from above you at the pressure on his dick. "You gonna make me feel good?" he asks as he watches you tug at the waistband of his boxers and pants, lifting his hips to help you. you nod puffing out a small hum in confirmation. Looking into his dark eyes you feel the dull ache between your thighs that makes you clench your them shut to relieve the feeling.

Your hand gripping at his base in a grip that makes Mark groan at the feeling, pumping him in your fist, teasing his tip with your tongue pressing your thumb against it as a thin string of spit connects the two of you together. “Fuck, even when you’re being bratty you’re still a tease” Mark says wincing as your grip tightens and your movements speed up. The sight of his thighs shaking makes you smile, though you know the sheer slick sound of precut and spit wasn’t the only sound you could make hit the air.

Wrapping your lips around his cock pressing your head down farther ignoring the burn in your throat as you lets the tip of his cock press against the back of your throat letting the sound of a long awaited moan you had been wanting to hear making your throat tighten around him which makes his bunch your hair back up once more guiding your head up and down on his dick sucking as the soft gags and sound of suckleing breach the heavy air.

Mark letting his other hand run through his black hair and fall back down on his forehead. “F-fuck” he huffs as his hips buck into the warmth from the back of your throat. Biting his lip as he feels the tingling sensation in his lower stomach while his thighs tense. His heartbeat is thrumming in his ears as he feels like his body is being reduced to nothing.

“That’s it baby” he moans airily as his hand presses down on the back of your head guiding you down his cock faster, his hips respond, Mark loves the way you look with tears in your eyes and mascara spilled with spit dripping down your chin and onto your chest in strings as your hair is absolutely fucked up by his hand.

“Look so pretty like that baby” he moans as his vision gets splotched, he’s closer and he can feel the burning white heat in his stomach clenching up and roaring to be released. His eyes widening at the feeling of your soft palm pressed flat against his tip rubbing quickly making him whine as his hips fuck into your fist at his base.

“Gonna cum” he groans as he looks you in your eyes watching as your wet eyelashes fluttered and your eyes look up at him, jaw slacking Mark feels himself letting go earning a deep groan from his throat that makes you gasp at how much he’s giving you. “Fuck” you whisper looking down at his dick covered in cum, red and throbbing; while mark lays back on the bed his face pale as if he’s seeing the pearly gates.

“C’mere” he says throaty and drained you move to sit in his lap making sure not brush against his sensitive cock. Mark sits up on his hands pressing his palms deep into the mattress as they sink in, you hesitantly find a comforting way to sit without touching him harshly while he’s coming down.

The pad of his thumb why’s away the saliva around your lips before he presses his lips to your forehead then to your lips heatedly, you moan almost instantly craving the feeling of his plump lips pressed against yours as he tastes himself on your tongue. His hands gripping the fat of your ass squeezing as he pulls you closer your hands settle to the back of his neck letting your fingers run through his hair.

Pulling away Mark nips and suckles on the skin of your throat making you lean your head back give him all the space he needs to litter small marks across your skin waiting to bloom into purple and blue bruises. His hands finding the bottom of your shirt pulling it over your head slowly as he kisses the skin above your navel up to the bottom of your bra he doesn’t hesitate to unclip and throw to the ground with your shirt.

Mark pulls his shirt over his own head letting you take the time to pull your pants and panties off. Mark settles you in his lap once more facing the mirror almost embarrassed at how disheveled you looked. “Look at you, my girl looks so pretty. Waiting to get fucked stupid” Mark whispers in your ear as your eyes watches the way his cock his hard and pressed against your navel, you clench around nothing.

��You wanna make it up to me? Make me feel better? Ride this fucking dick” he mumbles and that makes your head drop back as a moan ripples off the walls through the air. “s’not fair mark” you mumble as you crumble at the feeling of your clit pressed against him your mind utterly cloud with nothing but mark, mark, mark. You can’t get enough of it, adjusting your hips to press his tip against your sticky entrance teasing him in return as you sink down on just the tip making him sink his nails into your hip earning a wince.

“I don’t got the patience baby” he mumbles against your shoulder as he looks at you over the shoulder slowly pressing his hips up into you slowly making you sink onto his cock taking every inch he can give you until your ass is pressed against his thighs. “That’s it” he hisses as you grind down on him the feeling of him taking up all your space, filled to the brim makes your stomach feel warm and your chest tight at the stretch.

Your feet folding under your thighs as your hands reach back to hold onto his hands, anything, you you just need to feel him but mark does you better by wrapping his arms around your waist letting his warm palms rub against your tummy. The slick sound of you grinding against him makes you whine. Slowly lifting your hips and dropping them making Mark’s breathing shutter like a stack of paper in the wind.

Bouncing on his lap, his thrusts deep enough to make your thighs tremble as you whine, your thighs starting to burn as you push through the feeling letting your finger nails dig crescent shapes into his skin. “You like that? s’It feel good?” He asks as his hips rock against you his eyes watching the way your ass bounces letting a hand fall behind you letting a deafening smack reverberate off the walls.

“Yeah” you nod your head his eyes can’t stay in one place bouncing from you to the mirror in love with everything in sight. The trembling in your thighs slows you down making you switch between bouncing and grinding your hips making Mark grip your thighs “don’t slow down” he chuckles as his hands lift the weight of your thighs as impact was less of a worry.

The slick sounds in the air make your head dizzy as you barely catch the dirty words mark are whispering into your skin as his lips trail up your spine making your bones utterly shiver. “Keep going, don’t stop” he says his voice low and gruff like gravel sending goosebumps all over your skin that makes your hips bounce faster.

“That’s it” he mumbled his fingers rubbing small circles on your clit that makes your head fall back immediately making Mark scoff. “Didn’t I say look in the mirror? Look in the fucking mirror” he says sternly his rough palm colliding with the skin of your ass that makes you whine as you straighten up looking at yourself.

Hair a mess, makeup smudged as your mascara runs. You couldn’t be embarrassed with the way you were absolutely fucking yourself dumb on his cock, it felt too good to care, the shrill feeling in your lower stomach making your breath get caught in your throat as you clench down tighter on him.

“Get up” he said and it immediately made you want to burst into tears. You were so close, just a hair away from feeling that rush of energy and pleasure wash over you in white warm waves. You move anyways, slowly as it makes you feel empty. Mark guides you to rest on your stomach arching your back he leans close between your thighs letting a glob of spit trickle down your pussy making you gasp.

Spreading your legs farther apart seeing the way you glisten under your bedrooms dim lamp propped in the corner. “Look at you, all tired, you tired baby?” He asks as he pumps himself watching your expression in the mirror with a smirk seeing you nod your head. “Just wanna see you cum” you mumble as your temple presses against the mattress.

Mark hums in response as he presses his tip to your soaked entrance as the strings of spit and slick string against his tip as he slaps his tip against you making your hips jerk in response before pushing against him, the stretch is welcomed and you moan at the feeling of being full again. “You like that?” He asks as he sinks in slower making your jaw slack before your teeth cage over your bottom lip nodding.

His hand pressing against your ass as the other against your hip as his pelvis touches your skin making you grind against him. “Feels so fucking good” you whisper as you stack your arms in front of you and rest your chin on your forearm watching mark through the mirror who looks at just how deep he is inside you.

Pulling out just enough for his tip to still be inside before pressing harshly back into you making you moan as he repeats more harshly before utterly pounding into you, his hands touching your body in ways he knows only he can. “You know where to look” he says groaning as he pats your ass making your eyes flicker from him to yourself.

You know mark looks good, his dark hair sticking to his forehead and neck sticky with sweat, his feint abs covered in sweat that makes him look absolutely delicious. “Fuck yourself on my dick, come on” he says gently and it makes your head spin “come on pretty” he whispers as you lift yourself on your hands using it as leverage to bounce yourself in his lap picking up the pace.

“please cum” you whimper as you let your head fall back to look mark in his eyes absolutely filled with lust. “Wan’ you to cum so fucking bad, please” you moan and it makes Mark feel like he’s gonna lose it. His hand presses to your upper back making you fall back into the mattress, Mark leans over you completely like a tower wrapping his arm around your neck putting you in a headlock as he lets his hips buck into you sloppily.

Your moans die out as the constricting feel in your throat makes your jaw drop in pleasure as your eyes roll back. “Look at that fucking mirror hm?” He says into your ear, his breathing heavy as he can feel himself getting close almost like a sneeze the tingling sensation bundles up in your lower stomach as you force yourself to look in the mirror.

“Don’t want anybody else no more right?” He asks as his hips continue to piston into you “no, just you” you slur your words can barely make it out of your mouth with how good he fucks you. “Your little friend can’t do better can he?” He asks even though he knows the answer he still asks just to hear it from your mouth. “Never could make me cum” you whine as your thighs twitch.

“Cum with me, that’s all I need you to do for me baby” he moans as he absolutely tears up your insides making you grip his arm and sink your nails into his skin as you smoosh your face against his temple releasing all tension in your stomach the same time you hear the deepest moan to be released past marks throat that makes keep your eyes shut tightly as your body falls limp against him in pleasure as he fills you with the warm feeling of his cum.

Letting a few more rough thrusts make you completely shutter against him as he stops pulling away from you making you feeling the coldest you have been since he’s stepped inside your apartment, pulling out Mark watched how your dripped with his cum spilling on the sheets and onto your thighs he hums tiredly in satisfaction of his work almost as if your pussy was a masterpiece he painted with his cum.

Standing up Mark works with you in gentle touches as you wince at the dull ache between your thighs. “It’s okay, I got you” he mumbles as he carries your weight to the bathroom sitting you on the counter as he runs a bath. The both of you eventually situate in the bath with your back pressed to his chest as he cups the bath water letting it spill over your shoulders as he runs the rag lathered in soap over your skin.

“You’re mean when you’re jealous” you say, your throat dry and hoarse yet you don’t mind using whatever little bit of your voice you have to tease Mark. “Well maybe when you do shit to make me jealous I just show the ugly feelings” he mumbles as he presses a kiss to your temple. “You’re never gonna talk to him an again are you?” He asks with a hint of teasing in his voice “after this? Absolutely not” you laugh as you reach your hand up to his hand letting your nails rake through the wet tangles that makes Mark relax into you as his chin rests on your shoulder pressing a kiss to the skin. “Good” he mumbles.

©neopercs

#𖦹—( neo percs )#mark smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct 127 smut #mark lee smut #mark hard hours #mark x reader

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amakumos · 1 year

Text

haru yo, koi — yang jungwon.

synopsis. Life is fragile. You’ve known this ever since you got diagnosed with a rare disease that gives you only 10 years to live. You tell yourself to not fall in love, but then you meet Yang Jungwon in the middle of a park surrounded by cherry blossom trees. But just like the fleetingness of the cherry blossoms, your romance with Jungwon is short lived. You can only hope that the universe will be kind enough to offer you a second chance.

genre. angst, fluff, friends to lovers to ?, inspired by the movie the last 10 years.

pairing. non-idol! jungwon x fem! reader

warnings. reader and jungwon are 22, mentions of death, hospital, disease, illness, one scene where drinking is involved, probably some medical inaccuracies

word count. 34.9k

author’s note. hello! haru yo koi is finally here and i am so excited for u all to read it !! i hope there aren’t any glitches or anything esp since i had to use the legacy editor 😭😭 so praying there’s no issues w this 😭 this is the longest fic ive ever written and i rlly rlly hope u all enjoy it <3 pls give ur thoughts / feedback in an ask or comment ! they mean a lot to me <33 enjoyyy <3

ONE.

The clock is always ticking.

You remind yourself of this daily. Most people your age don’t exactly think about death coming to knock on their door — but you think you’re quite prepared. You have been for quite a while.

You peer outside your window for a split second, taking a break from writing. You see people on the street with bright smiles plastered across their lips. You wish you could be as carefree as they are, and not constantly worried about whether your life will slip away in just the next second.

You were diagnosed with a rare incurable disease when you were 17. You’ve got 10 years, they say. But even though they had said 10 years, you could still pass suddenly – so in some way, you might have less than 10. Slowly but surely, you’ve come to accept that this is your fate.

“It’s spring, (Name).” You suddenly hear the voice of Chaewon, your older sister. “Do you want to go see the cherry blossoms?”

You don’t turn your head to look at her. “Go with Soobin.”

“I am going with Soobin. I’m just asking if you wanted to come with us.” she asks, and you finally look at her.

“It’s okay,” you tell her. “I don’t want to ruin your date.”

“(Name), you won’t be. Come on. You can’t just… spend the rest of your days at home.” she sighs.

Your sister has 10 years to live. Everything came crashing down when Chaewon heard those 7 words. She had never imagined that she would have to lose someone so close to her so early in life, and she didn’t think that out of all people, it would be you.

Life is fragile. It is even more fragile for you. Now, you’re 5 years into your death sentence. The clock is ticking, and you’ve only got 5 years left. 5 years seems like such a long time to most people — but to you, it’s all you have left.

Is 5 years too much time, or none at all?

Chaewon looks at you, silently peering outside your window. She doesn’t know why you aren’t trying to experience life to its fullest, knowing that you only have a couple more years left.

She wants to spend time with you. She doesn’t want to see you holed up in your room, spending every day, every month, and every year doing nothing until your time is up.

Chaewon has had a whole list of things she wanted to do with you ever since she was 8. Travelling, going to concerts, skydiving — all things she thought she would be able to do with you when you both got older.

But with your diagnosis, checking off that bucket list seems like an impossible task.

“Come… please?” Chaewon asks, and you reluctantly get up from your chair. Your sister smiles, handing you your coat that you’ve got hung up on one of the hooks attached to your wall. “If you and Soobin kiss in front of me, I’m leaving.”

Chaewon follows you as you leave your room, watching as you adjust the collar of your coat. “We’re not going to… whatever.”

Soobin is already waiting in the living room, talking to your parents. “Hi, (Name).” Soobin greets you with a smile. You wave at your sister’s boyfriend before going to the kitchen to get a cup of water.

You’ve known Soobin for quite a while now. He’s been your sister’s boyfriend ever since high school, and now he’s a doctor. Apparently, your illness was what motivated him to pursue the career.

“I’m looking for a cure,” he tells you all the time.

Your previous doctors have told you that your illness was incurable. You think that Soobin searching for something that probably doesn’t exist would be a waste of time. While you’re thankful for Soobin trying his best to keep you alive, you think you’ve accepted your fate already.

You watch as Chaewon laces her hands with Soobin’s, before bidding goodbye to your parents. ‘Be careful, (Name).” your father says, and you nod. He says this every time you head outside. “Okay, dad.”

You walk alongside the happy couple, watching as a bright smile spreads across your sister’s lips as Soobin cracks a funny joke. You look at the pavement with an amused smile – what Soobin said was indeed pretty funny.

A few years ago, you had asked Chaewon a question.

What does falling in love feel like?

Because you don’t think it’s something that you’ll ever be able to experience. If you fall in love with someone, that’s another person that’s going to hurt when you pass away abruptly. You don’t want to be a burden to others more than you already have. So, you tell yourself that you shouldn’t fall in love.

Chaewon had replied to you with a fond smile on her face. She talks about Soobin as if he means the world to her. “It’s like… you feel so much joy to the point where you feel like your heart will burst at the seams. Falling in love is different for everyone, I think. Your experience is uniquely yours.”

“Oh,” you said.

“You shouldn’t be scared of falling in love, (Name).” she tells you.

Chaewon says many things that you don’t listen to. Not because you think that her ideas or her words are stupid, it’s just… you don’t think she understands. She tells you to live life to its fullest, but how are you supposed to do that when you’re constantly reminded that you could die suddenly?

You’re the one dying.

Not her.

You shove your hands in your pocket with a sigh. “We’re here,” Soobin says, and you look up. The cherry blossom trees are beautiful. The vibrant pink flowers are beautiful, and you watch as some of the petals cascade down to the pavement. “It’s really pretty, isn’t it?” Chaewon asks you, and you nod.

“Let me get a picture of you both,” Soobin says, and Chaewon links her arm with yours. You both look at the camera, with Chaewon doing a peace sign while you simply smile. “Nice,” Soobin says, after snapping the picture.

“Do you want one with Soobin?” you ask Chaewon, and she nods. Soobin hands you the camera with a grateful smile. Chaewon rests her head on Soobin’s shoulder, her hands laced with his. “One, two, three.” you say as you take the picture.

Your sister looks at Soobin with so much love and adoration. It makes you happy that your sister’s found the right person for her.

“I’m going to look around the park,” you tell Chaewon. She nods, telling you to be careful before you walk off.

You take a deep breath as you walk around, seeing happy couples, old and young, roaming around the park together. You feel the slightest bit of envy when you remember that you’ll never really get to experience what it’s like to love.

You look up at one of the many cherry blossom trees in the park.

In some way, you’d compare yourself to one of these majestic trees.

Cherry blossoms are known for their existence to be short-lived. They symbolise transience, ephemerality. They fall to the pavement as quickly as they bloom.

Just like the cherry blossoms, your existence will be short-lived. You’re running on borrowed time, and you don’t know when that time will run out.

Every breath you take could be your last.

There is a peaceful quietness as you wander around the park, admiring the vibrant pink hues of the flowers in full bloom. The faint smell of the flowers waft through the air, and you watch as some of the petals fall to the pavement.

The quietness is interrupted by a dog bark. A white dog runs up to you, and you look at it, startled and confused. Suddenly, a boy who looks around your age runs up to you.

“I am so sorry about Maeumi,” he says, attaching the leash back onto his dog. “He’s a little energetic sometimes.”

You look at the boy, and something about him feels familiar. Those eyes – you’d recognise them anywhere.

It’s Yang Jungwon, an old classmate of yours. He was the head of the student council during your time at the school, and you remember him even though you weren’t exactly there much due to your illness. But Jungwon was always a kind person, helping out anyone in need. He was friendly, and popular. You knew that many people had a crush on him, including your friend Minji.

“Wait a minute,” Jungwon’s eyes narrow suddenly. Something seems to click, and he gasps. “You’re (Name), right? We were in the same class in high school.”

You’re surprised that even with all his busy duties in high school and with you constantly being away at the hospital, Yang Jungwon still remembers you.

“Yeah, I am,” you say, a small smile on your lips. “I’m surprised you remember who I am.”

“Of course I’d remember you!” Jungwon’s eyes seem to twinkle as he says the words. “We worked together on a project for biology once. Do you remember me?”

You chuckle. “Of course. Yang Jungwon. Head of the student council.”

Jungwon smiles. “Yeah. That’s me.”

There’s a brief moment of silence where you and Jungwon just look at each other, small smiles on both of your faces. Maeumi sits patiently as a few of the cherry blossom petals land on his fur.

“So… what have you been up to?” Jungwon asks you, looking genuinely interested. How are you supposed to respond to that? Because really, you’re not going to just tell him that what you’ve been up to is… hospital.

“Um… work. Got a job,” you lie, nodding. “What about you?”

“I’m a lawyer now,” Jungwon replies, and you smile. “Law. It suits you.”

“Huh. Everyone tells me that,” Jungwon runs his fingers through his hair to make it a little neater. “So… what do you do at work?”

“Writing. I… write.” Well, that wasn’t a complete lie. You do write, just… not for work. You’ve only been working on one thing ever since you got your diagnosis — it’s something akin to a diary, recounting your journey through the last 10 years of your life.

Maybe you’ll get to see it published before you’re gone.

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Jungwon beams. “I know your writing’s great. You wrote for the school newspaper, right?”

It seems like Yang Jungwon remembers a lot about you. You wrote occasionally for the school newspaper when you were well enough to actually write. You’re surprised he remembers that, and you’re quite surprised that he actually read the school newspaper — you thought that with his busy schedule, he wouldn’t have had the time to.

“I did. You have a good memory.”

“Thank you.” Jungwon cracks a smile. The boy looks at the cherry blossom trees, before returning his focus onto you. “They’re pretty, aren’t they?” he asks, and you nod.

“I like the colours.” you say, quietly.

“Me too.”

“(Name), Soobin just got an emergency at the hospital, so he’s had to leave– oh!” Chaewon suddenly appears out of nowhere, startling both you and Jungwon. “Sorry, I didn’t know that you were talking to someone.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” you tell your sister, who looks at you, then looks at Jungwon, then looks at you again. “Was I interrupting something?” she asks, with a small smile on her lips.

“We were just looking at the cherry blossoms.” Jungwon pipes up. “I’m Jungwon. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Chaewon,” your sister says. “Do you know my sister?”

“We went to high school together,” you tell her. “Jungwon was the head of the student council. I’m actually quite surprised he still remembers me, considering how… you know.”

“Yes. I know.”

Jungwon doesn’t know exactly what you and Chaewon are talking about, but it seems personal — and he wouldn’t want to pry. And, you keep mentioning how you’re extremely shocked at the fact that Jungwon seems to remember you.

But, why wouldn’t Jungwon remember his first crush?

Something about you intrigued Jungwon the moment you stepped into the classroom for the first time. It was seventh grade, and you had walked into the room with a small smile on your lips. Jungwon remembers you catching his attention instantly.

You two were partnered together for a project, and you both had quite a few pleasant conversations while working on the assignment. Jungwon remembers walking home with a giddy smile on his lips after he had gone to your house.

But gradually, you started to disappear.

Throughout high school, Jungwon tried to talk to you as much as he could. Problem was, you were almost never at school, and when you were at school, Jungwon always seemed to be busy.

So Jungwon was never able to get closer to you. He couldn’t get to know you better, or find out why he found himself gravitating towards you.

You didn’t even show up for graduation.

The last time Jungwon remembers seeing you was in class one day. You were wrapped in a puffer jacket, a hand warmer in your hands. You looked pale. Jungwon assumed that you might’ve gotten a cold.

He didn’t know that you were sick. He still doesn’t know that you’re sick. Nobody from high school knows, with the exception of Minji and Wonyoung.

He just assumed you were always busy with out of school activities. But he never forgot about you.

“Oh, that reminds me. Ricky’s hosting a reunion party next week for our grade? We’d love for you to come.” Jungwon says, and Chaewon nudges you gently. “You should go,” your sister whispers to you.

“Oh, I… I don’t know. I don’t think people there will really remember me.” you murmur, and Jungwon shakes his head. “No, they will! Just come along. Here, I’ll give you my number, since Ricky’s still making decisions on which restaurant he’s booking. I’ll text you the details.”

You type in Jungwon’s number into your phone slowly, saving his contact. “It was really nice seeing you again. What a coincidence, right?” he beams.

“It was nice seeing you again too, Jungwon. I’ll… let you know if I go.”

“I’ve got to run along now, a friend of mine’s waiting for me.” Jungwon says, a small pout on his lips. “But yeah, text me! I’ll talk to you soon.”

“See you around, Jungwon.” you say softly, and the boy gives you one last big smile before turning around to leave. Chaewon looks at you with a wide grin on her lips. “Come on, you should go!”

“I don’t know,” you say hesitantly. You’re not even sure if people remember you. Or know you at all. You attended school less than 20 times in your last year — to be completely honest, even you found it strange that you graduated. “What if people are like ‘who are you?’ It would make things really awkward.”

“So? Jungwon knows you. Invite Minji and Wonyoung. There, you know four people. Come on, (Name). You should live your life to the fullest.”

As you’re nearing the end of the 10 years that the doctor has given you, you decide that perhaps Chaewon is right. You’ve spent years wallowing in self-pity, spending all your days at home when you could’ve been spending time doing things that you’ve always wanted to do. See people you never thought you’d see again. Go to places that you’ve always wanted to go to.

You take a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll go.”

And as a pink cherry blossom petal brushes against your cheek, you return home with Chaewon by your side, and the thought of Yang Jungwon in the back of your mind.

TWO.

“You saw Yang Jungwon again?” Minji nearly shrieks, as you take a sip of tea from your cup.

Almost immediately after you had returned home, you had messaged Minji and Wonyoung about the gathering that Ricky was holding. Apparently, Wonyoung had gotten a message from someone about it but mistook it for a spam message.

“Yeah. Soobin and Chaewon wanted to go see the cherry blossoms, so they dragged me with them. Jungwon’s dog bumped into me at the park and… we talked for a bit.” you explain, as Wonyoung and Minji listen intently.

“And he invited you to the gathering?”

“I mean… he said it was for our grade. He gave me his number, so he’ll be texting me about the details of the gathering in a bit.” you say, and Minji nearly chokes on her drink.

“He gave you his number?”

“Yeah. Why are you gawking at me like that, Minji? Are you still in love with Jungwon? Because, not to remind you, but you’re in a very committed relationship. I swear Hajoon is going to propose any minute now.” you say, and Minji shakes her head. “No, no — it’s just… I don’t remember Jungwon being this forward.”

“Maybe he’s just being nice.” you say.

“Jungwon’s always nice.” Wonyoung chimes in. “He was good friends with everyone. But I will say, no offence, I am quite surprised he remembers you, (Name).”

Honestly, you’re the most surprised out of everyone. “Yes. It was a little shocking.”

“So, what does he look like now?” Minji asks, looking at you curiously. “Just about the same as before. Or at least, the last time I saw him. Just slightly older.”

“It’s been around 4 years since we graduated, (Name),” Wonyoung says. “Of course he’ll look a little older.”

Minji told you once that Jungwon has something she calls a “first love smile”. You never quite understood what she meant when she told you, possibly because you were focusing on not dying, but now you sort of understand why she described his smile that way.

Jungwon’s smile just makes you feel… safe. You hadn’t seen him in a very long time, yet he still managed to make himself seem familiar to you. During your time at school, you didn’t talk with him much, you didn’t see him much — but you felt comfortable talking to him in the middle of the park, cherry blossom trees surrounding you two. It was like you two had been close for a long time.

“So… you’re going to go to the gathering, right? After Jungwon invited you?” Wonyoung asks, and you nod. “I might as well. You know… I figure that I should probably see everyone again before time runs out.”

Your friends suddenly go silent.

The topic of your impending death has always been one that Minji and Wonyoung have tried to avoid. Mostly because they believe that someday, some doctor will find a magical cure. One that’ll make you feel better, and you can live a long happy life like you had intended to before your diagnosis.

But with only 5 years left, you know they’re starting to lose hope. You lost that hope a long time ago.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to dampen the mood,” you give your friends a small smile, and Wonyoung shakes her head. “No, no. It’s okay, (Name).” she returns the gesture, but you can see that emotion in her eyes — sadness.

You’ve known Wonyoung and Minji ever since you two were little. You all had plans to stay friends forever, to see each other get their first job, to see each other get married, and to see each other grow old together, preferably in a small town with lots of cafes and beautiful scenery.

Those plans are now gone. It was always (Name), Minji and Wonyoung. Once you leave, it’ll just be Minji and Wonyoung. No longer the “golden trio”, as you three had called yourselves.

“Maybe Soobin will figure something out.” Minji hums. She really hopes that he does. She’s known that you've been living on borrowed time for 5 years now, but it never gets easier when she remembers that soon, she’ll have to live a life without you being there. She doesn’t want that.

Neither does Wonyoung. Thinking about the fact that gatherings after your passing will just be her and Minji, and they’ll always be reminded of the fact that you’re supposed to be there, talking, laughing and smiling with the two of them.

Thinking about life without you is already difficult enough. When you leave, Minji and Wonyoung know that things will be much harder than they are now.

“I mean… he tells me that all the time. Chaewon’s holding out some hope, but I don't know. I’m prepared. I’ve been prepared since I was told the news.” you reply, and Minji looks at you sadly.

“Out of all people… it shouldn’t have been you.” Wonyoung reaches her hand out to squeeze yours, and you give her a soft smile.

“I know,” you hum.

The atmosphere is now sad, and dull. Minji and Wonyoung both have frowns on their faces, and you feel like you should lighten the mood. You give them both a bright smile. “Okay, enough sadness. Come on, let’s go out.”

You three get up from your chairs, but not before fighting over who pays the bill. In the end, Wonyoung wins — you tell her that you’ll be paying next time.

Then, you suddenly get a text message. It’s from Jungwon, who tells you that the reunion will be at a restaurant that Jo owns. You reply with a thank you, and you tell him that Minji and Wonyoung will be coming as well.

He replies with a ‘i'm excited to see you soon!’ and a smiley face. You smile when you read the message, putting your phone back in your pocket after you like his text.

“Jungwon says the reunion is at Jo’s restaurant. He sent me the location,” you tell Minji and Wonyoung. “Jo runs a restaurant? Didn't expect that from him, if I’m being honest.” Wonyoung chuckles. You always thought Jo would end up being a professional basketball player, since he talked about it constantly.

“Yeah,” you agree. “Now come on, let’s go.”

As you step out of the cafe, the faint smell of cherry blossoms waft through the air.

THREE.

“Well, you look pretty.” Chaewon says to you, a bright smile on her face. “Reunion’s tonight, isn’t it?”

You nod, smoothing out the wrinkles on your skirt. “Yeah. Minji’s picking me and Wonyoung up. Or really, Hajoon, since he’s driving. Is Soobin coming over tonight?”

Chaewon shakes her head, pouring herself a cup of tea. “Just me tonight,” she says, taking a sip of the drink. “Soobin’s got some patients to look after, and he says he won’t be done until 3am, or something. I’m going to make dinner for Mom and Dad, and I'll probably watch some dramas in bed.”

“Sounds like fun.” you say, grabbing your purse off one of the hooks on the wall.

“Let me know how tonight goes, hmm?” Chaewon says, giving you a side hug. “Be careful, by the way. You took your medicine, right?”

You sigh. “You know I would never forget about that.”

“Just looking out for you,” Chaewon shrugs. “Have a fun night.”

You wave goodbye at your sister before you leave the house, closing the door behind you. You walk down the stairs, and you’re greeted by Minji, Wonyoung and Hajoon. “Come on! We’re going to be late!”

You hurry into the car, slamming the car door shut after you slide into the seat next to Wonyoung. “You look so pretty, (Name)! I love your outfit.”

“Thanks, Wonyo. You look very pretty too.” you say, and Wonyoung smiles. Wonyoung always looks gorgeous. She was just as popular as Jungwon — everyone had a crush on her as well.

“Hajoon, are you joining us?” you ask Minji’s boyfriend, and he nods. “She insisted that I come, in fact.” he chuckles.

“You guys are adorable,” Wonyoung says. “Put bleach in my eyes.” she whispers to you, and you stifle a giggle.

The ride to Jo’s restaurant is surprisingly quick from your place. You get out of the car, brushing your hair out of your face. You haven’t seen these people in years, and you’re pretty nervous — you know that there’s a high possibility that you’ll get bombarded with questions about why you were never at school.

You just have to come up with a lie. Or Minji and Wonyoung can come up with one for you.

“Come on, let’s go!” Minji seems awfully excited, as she practically skips into the restaurant. You, Wonyoung and Hajoon look at her, amused, before following her.

The first thing that catches your attention about Jo’s restaurant is that the food already smells great. “Are you four here for the reunion?” a waiter asks you all, and Minji nods.

“Right this way, please.” He leads you four to a room, and opens the door. “Oh my god, Minji, Wonyoung and (Name)!” Haruna says, when she sees you three walk in. “Hi, long time no see!” Minji says, giving the girl a hug.

Somehow, your eyes immediately meet Jungwon’s. He gives you a warm smile, pointing to the free seat next to him. You take that as an invitation to sit there. “Hi,” he says. “You look nice.”

Your cheeks feel a little bit hot. “Thank you. You look very nice too,” you say. Jungwon’s wearing a black t-shirt and pants, and there’s a blue jacket draped over the back post of his chair.

You then notice the earrings dangling from Jungwon’s ears. “Oh, you got piercings.” you say, and Jungwon nods. “Yeah. Had them when we met in the park a few days ago.”

“I didn’t notice,” you reply, chuckling. “They suit you.”

“Alright, (Name), stop flirting with Jungwon! The food’s here.” Hanni says, and you furrow your eyebrows. “What? I wasn’t— never mind.”

You don’t notice how Jungwon’s cheeks have flushed bright red. But, Ricky does.

“You’re still into her, aren’t you?” he whispers into Jungwon’s ear. Jungwon turns to look at Ricky, pursing his lips. “What? I… I don’t know. We haven’t met in so long, and I really don’t know much about her.” Jungwon replies, volume of his voice matching Ricky’s.

“Then get to know her better. Didn’t you say you got her number? Text her after this gathering and then ask if she wants to hang out. It’s as simple as that.”

Jungwon sighs, eyes trained on you, who’s talking and laughing with Hanni. “She’s probably going to be at work. We all have lives now, and… I don’t know. I don’t want to be a bother.” Ricky notices the way Jungwon gazes at you like you’re his entire world, and a small smirk graces his lips.

“I don’t think you will. (Name)’s nice. It can’t hurt to ask her to… I don’t know, have coffee, or grab lunch together.” Ricky suggests, shrugging. Jungwon has been pining for you forever. It’s about time he did something about his feelings.

Ricky does have a few points, Jungwon thinks. He missed all of his chances in high school to get to know you better, but doing something late is better than not doing it at all, right?

Jungwon takes a shot of the soju that Ricky had poured him. “(Name), are you going to be drinking?” Hanni asks you, and you shake your head, a polite smile on your lips. “I’m good. I don’t drink. Thank you for the offer, though.”

You turn to Jungwon when he’s drunk 3 shots. “How’s Maeumi?” you ask him, and Jungwon smiles at you, his face flushed slightly pink due to the alcohol.

“Good,” he says, beaming. “Maeumi’s… he’s a cute dog.”

You chuckle. “He is. So… did you take any nice pictures of the cherry blossoms when I saw you a few days ago?”

“Yeah,” Jungwon replies, the smile never leaving his lips. He looks at you with bright, gleaming eyes. His eyes are very pretty. “Took lots of them.”

“That’s nice,” you say.

“We should go again sometime,” he says, his cheeks somehow redder than before. You don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol, or because he’s nervous about asking you to spend some time with him.

The truth is, it’s both.

“Yeah, of course,” you breathe out. “Sounds like fun. I’m… not too busy — I mean, I’m never busy, so just text me.” Jungwon smiles at your words, and you don’t notice how Ricky’s watching you two interact with the biggest grin on his lips.

He’s watched Jungwon pine over you for the last few years of school. He knows about Jungwon’s lack of courage to just go up to you and talk to you, to get to know you better outside of school projects. He knows about Jungwon’s regret over not being able to muster up that courage, and then watching as he realises that you’ve slowly disappeared.

And now, watching as he finally gets that courage. Or at least, a little bit of it. It might be the soju giving him an extra boost of confidence, but Ricky’s not complaining. Neither are you, and neither is Jungwon.

The rest of the time at the reunion is spent talking about what’s going on with everyone else’s lives. Jo’s a chef, since he runs the restaurant that you all were dining in. Jungwon’s a lawyer, as he’s told you that when you two met in the park. Ricky’s working as a model, like Wonyoung. Admittedly, you’re quite surprised their paths haven’t crossed before this reunion.

Hanni’s a dancer, like you always knew she’d be. Minji and Hajoon are told to get married by practically everyone, leaving both of them a blushing mess.

Then, Ricky takes out a box that’s all too familiar. “Remember this, guys?” It’s the time capsule that you all buried when you were 12, where all of you put in a message for you in the future. “I thought we’d open these now, because… well, it's been 10 years. So let’s do it together!”

Ricky hands everyone their letters, and when he gives you yours, you take it hesitantly. It’s a blue envelope, the front decorated with stickers. Dear Future (Name), it’s addressed to.

With shaky hands, you carefully remove the seal from the back of the envelope, taking out your letter.

Hello, future (Name)! It’s me, you from 10 years ago. How are you doing? Since it’s been 10 years, I think I’ll have a lot of questions! Are you still writing? Have you become an author like we always wanted to be? Are you still friends with Minji and Wonyoung? How’s Chaewon? Have you ticked off some of the boxes on the shared bucket list? Are you in love? I’m going to decorate this envelope well, so you should keep it in a safe space. I don’t know what you are doing now, or maybe I should say we, since we are the same person. But don’t stress yourself out. Treasure every day! Life is beautiful. May you live a long, happy life.

Little you will most likely not be very happy with the outcome of your life. You’re 22, single, and dying.

You haven’t ticked off anything on yours and Chaewon’s bucket list. You haven’t become an author, like you wanted to. You haven’t treasured every day like you told yourself to. You haven’t appreciated the beauty of life enough.

And you won’t be able to live a long, happy life.

Reading your letter now makes you regret the way you’ve spent the last 5 years. You’ve got 5 years left on that clock, and the time won’t slow down anytime soon. Maybe it’s time to listen to yourself, to treasure every day like you had said to.

You don’t realise that you’re tearing up a little until Jungwon nudges you softly. “Are you okay?” his words are slightly slurred, meaning he’s probably drunk a little bit more. You’re a little surprised that despite how he seems to be slightly drunk, he’s still noticed the change in your demeanour.

“Yes, I’m fine, Jungwon. Thank you for asking,” you say, giving him a small smile. He nods, giving you a bright grin that seems to turn your mood around, slightly. “Don’t be sad. Whatever you’re going through… things will work out. Everything will be just fine.”

Yes, you tell yourself. Everything will be just fine.

FOUR.

Jungwon calls you pretty that night.

It’s sudden, and it probably doesn’t mean anything. He’s a little drunk, and even though Minji constantly tells you that drunk words are sober thoughts, you choose to forget about it.

Yang Jungwon doesn’t know you well. Why would he have any feelings for you? But lately, small things that you would’ve considered to be somewhat insignificant have been reminding you of the boy. Cherry blossoms, small white dogs, grey hoodies, and black beanies.

But you will admit, hearing those words from him did make you feel something you’ve never felt before. A mix of nervousness and joy, is how you’d describe it. Your cheeks felt hot, and you suddenly felt shy.

“What are you thinking about?” Chaewon asks you, as you stare at the scenery outside your window. “The cherry blossom season is almost over,” you tell her, and she nods. “Yes. Aren’t you glad we saw them a little earlier?”

You smile. “I am glad.”

Chaewon’s noticed a small change in your attitude. You’re no longer always holed up in your room, constantly wanting to go outside — maybe you’ve finally started taking her advice, to live life to the fullest. It makes her happy. She wants you to make millions of memories that will bring you nothing but joy before you go. If you do have to pass early, she wants you to feel like you’ve done everything you’ve wanted to do.

You suddenly hear a buzz from your phone, and you check the text message. It’s from Jungwon, and you don’t notice Chaewon peering over your shoulder when you read the text. Wanna see the cherry blossoms together? I’m at the same park, the text reads, and before you can type out a response, Chaewon tells you that you should go.

“That was what I was going to say.” you tell her, and she looks at you, a mix of joy and surprise on her face. She used to have to convince you to go hang out with people who weren’t Minji and Wonyoung, and now you’re doing it because you want to.

This Jungwon boy must be someone that you would consider special.

Chaewon leaves your room to tell your parents that you’re going out. You get up from your chair, heading towards your closet. You pick out a simple cardigan and jeans, changing into the outfit quickly.

“You changed fast.” Chaewon says, and you nod, grabbing your bag. “Jungwon’s at the park already, and I don’t want to keep him waiting.”

“Do you like Jungwon?” she asks you, and you give your sister a look. “Of course I like Jungwon. He’s a nice guy.” you reply, and Chaewon sighs in exasperation. “I didn’t mean it like that, (Name). I meant like… do you have a crush on him?”

You pause. You’re not sure. He’s nice, and he’s good looking. But you don’t quite know him well enough to make a decision about it, plus, your thoughts on love haven’t really changed much. Hypothetically, if you and Jungwon were to get into a relationship, you’d die in less than 5 years.

You couldn’t hurt someone as kind and genuine as him.

“I… I don’t know. He’s a sweet guy, that’s all I can say.”

“That’s exactly what I said about Soobin.” she says, and you shrug. “Okay. See you in a bit.” you reply — you don’t know how else to continue this conversation. Knowing your own sister, Chaewon could very well press you for answers about how you feel towards Jungwon, but the truth is that you don’t know. So, you remove yourself from the situation.

You head towards the park, looking through the contents in your bag. There’s a video camera that you haven’t used in quite some time, and you pull it out to inspect it. You turn it on, and surprisingly, it still works.

There’s a couple pictures of you, Minji and Wonyoung in the gallery, and some of you and Chaewon as little kids. You decide to take a picture of the cherry blossom trees with the camera, pausing for just a split second to take a photo of the beautiful trees and their flowers.

“Hey,” Jungwon says, startling you. “Hi! Sorry. Was just taking a picture of the cherry blossoms.” you say, gesturing towards your camera.

“Don't apologise! I’m sorry for surprising you,” he says, and you shake your head. “It’s all good. Looks like Maeumi isn’t here today,” you reply, noting the absence of his dog.

“Yeah. My sister took him out on a walk this morning already.” Jungwon chuckles, and you two enter the park, walking beside each other. “That’s nice. Guess it’s just you and me, then.” you reply, smiling at him.

Jungwon’s heart races at your words. “Yeah. You and me.”

“The cherry blossom season is almost over,” you hum, holding your camera up to record a video of the scenery. “It’s a shame that they’re so short lived.”

“I wish we could see them year-round. They’re too beautiful.” Jungwon comments, and you nod. You pan the camera towards him, and he flashes a bright smile and holds up a peace sign, making you laugh. Jungwon stops to pick up a perfectly intact cherry blossom flower that’s fallen on the floor. “Here,” he says, holding it out to you.

“You take it,” you say, the camera still fixed on him.

Jungwon opts to brush a strand of your hair aside, tucking the small flower behind your ear. The flower is small, fragile, barely visible if you’re standing too far. Jungwon’s worried that the petals will fall off. But you look beautiful.

You look at him, your cheeks burning hot and a smile that’s unconsciously made its way to your lips. “Flower.” he hums.

“Yes. Flower,” you reply. “Thank you, by the way.”

“No worries. You… you look nice.”

“Thank you.”

Jungwon looks around, noticing a bunch of couples in the park. He can’t help but wonder if those couples think that you two are together as well.

“I like cherry blossoms.” you suddenly pipe up, and Jungwon redirects his attention to you. “Why?” he asks you, intrigued as to why you suddenly blurted out this statement.

“They’re beautiful, but they don’t last for a very long time. They’re very interesting to me.” you say, admiring the pink blossoms. “They feel familiar.”

“Yes. But I suppose the short-liveness of them allows us to appreciate and admire them more, doesn’t it? Since we know it doesn’t last for a very long time, we hold them dearer, and cherish them more.” Jungwon replies, looking at you with a smile.

He’s right. The reason why cherry blossoms feel familiar to you, is because you find yourself halfway through the process of the blooming and the wilting of these flowers. With only 5 years left, you’re wilting, while someone like Jungwon has just started to bloom.

“Yes. And they’re beautiful, aren’t they?” you hum, looking at the pink blossoms above.

“They are.” he says, his eyes fixed on you. Only you.

Jungwon doesn’t know that during your whole monologue about the cherry blossoms, you’re implying that like these magnificent flowers, your existence is short lived too.

FIVE.

Soobin proposes to Chaewon a week after you and Jungwon go to the park.

You watch as he gets down on one knee, Chaewon’s hand clasping over her mouth in shock. You stand there on the side with your parents, camera in hand, smiling at the sight.

“I wanna spend forever with you, Chae.” he tells her.

Forever. Forever’s a funny word.

The literal definition of forever is for all time. If forever is for all time, your forever ends in five years. Chaewon and Soobin still have many years to go in their forever.

You realise that you’ve been pitying yourself again. You should be happy. 5 years for a forever isn’t that bad, you tell yourself. So, you push that thought into the back of your mind, focusing on the scene that plays out in front of you.

“So… what do you say? Will you marry me, Kim Chaewon?”

“I will. I will marry you, Choi Soobin.” your sister says, her eyes glimmering with tears. Your family erupts into cheers, your father hugging your mother tightly before he wraps you in a huge hug too.

Your sister is getting married.

Chaewon runs up to you, and you give her a hug. “You’re engaged,” you tell her, and she smiles. “I’m engaged!” she says, showing you and the camera you’re holding the ring. It’s gorgeous — Soobin had shown you it a couple days ago when he asked to grab coffee with you.

You thought he was going to give you some horrible news about your condition, but instead he told you that he was planning on asking Chaewon to marry him. You let out a huge sigh of relief at that.

At the time, he had no idea where he would propose. You suggested the place where he had first met Chaewon, but he’d only replied with: “I’m not proposing to your sister in a hospital.”

Which was probably a smart thing to say.

“Did you know about this?” she asks you, and you shrug. “A little. I mean, your fiancée over there only told me a few days ago.” you reply, nodding at Soobin.

“But, I will say, I’m not surprised. It was going to happen, sooner or later. You two are perfect for each other,” you say, giving Chaewon another hug.

I’m glad I can see you get married before I go, you want to tell her. But she’s in such a good mood, you wouldn’t want to ruin it. She skips back towards Soobin, who’s hugging his own parents. There’s a giant grin plastered on her lips as she takes his hand in hers. “Congratulations,” your father says, as the happy couple approaches your family, alongside with Soobin’s parents.

“You should’ve done it earlier, Soobin!” your mother says, and a pink blush dusts Soobin’s cheeks. “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time,” he says. “I’m happy she said yes.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Chaewon says, kissing him on the cheek, making the light pink blush on Soobin’s cheeks turn into a bright red. You’ll let the public display of affection between the two of them slide this time, because they just got engaged. Usually, you’d frown at them and feign disgust.

Chaewon and Soobin are the type of couple that you can just look at and know that they’re made for one another. You’re not going to lie, it does make you somewhat jealous that they’ve been able to find each other this early in life.

Soobin and Chaewon had met when she had accompanied you for a checkup when you were 15. Soobin was there to give moral support to Taehyun, his friend who needed stitches.

From there on, a relationship blossomed. It’s a bit of a unique love story. With Chaewon always being by your side during your doctor appointments, and Soobin being a doctor as well, the hospital is somehow always involved.

You’re also jealous that they can spend the entire rest of their lives together. And, the entire rest of their lives aren’t limited to only 5 years, unlike you. But you’re happy for your sister. You’re glad she’s found someone who makes her happier than ever — you just can’t help but feel upset that you won’t be able to experience that picture perfect fairytale romance that you had wanted.

And as Chaewon makes a toast, you get a text message. You watch as everyone takes a sip of champagne from their glass. Thankfully, most people’s eyes are on the recently engaged couple, so no one pays any mind to you drinking water instead.

You unlock your phone, checking who the message is from. It’s Jungwon, and he’s sent you a picture of cherry blossoms.

Saw this today on my way to work. Thought it was pretty, and it reminded me of you, he writes.

You don’t realise that you’re smiling to yourself as you read the message. The fact that Jungwon thought of you when he saw those cherry blossoms makes your heart feel all warm and fuzzy. It’s a feeling you’ve never felt before.

Yang Jungwon isn’t making it easy for you to not feel at least a little something for him. You’ve told yourself to not fall in love with anyone ever since you got the diagnosis — it’s to keep yourself from hurting and to keep you from hurting someone else.

But with Jungwon, you just want to fall.

The consequences, the possible heartbreak is something that you’re not even taking into consideration. Maybe you should just let yourself experience what it’s like to love, and what it’s like to be loved.

You finally understand what Minji meant back in high school when she said Jungwon had one of those “first love smiles”. And you understand why Minji was so infatuated with him back then. You weren’t around much, so you never really got to know him better.

But now that you are getting to know him well, maybe Yang Jungwon will be your first love.

And knowing your fate, he will very likely also be your last love.

If Yang Jungwon was going to be your first, your last, and your one and only, you wouldn’t quite mind.

You type back. So you think I’m pretty?

Jungwon replies almost instantly.

Of course I do.

SIX.

“Hajoon and Minji, Soobin and Chaewon… ugh, I want someone in my life. But I can’t find anyone.” Wonyoung sighs, flopping down on your couch.

You smile. “You’re drop-dead gorgeous, Wonyoung. Who wouldn’t want to be with you?”

“Introduce me to someone!” she asks, her eyes gleaming. You look at her, with a confused expression on your face. “Wonyo, you know I don’t know many people.”

“I don’t know, maybe someone from high school, or something.”

“Ricky?” you ask. You knew Wonyoung used to like Ricky during high school, and just like Wonyoung, Ricky’s working as a model too. You can’t believe that you didn’t think of this pairing sooner.

“Ricky?” Wonyoung asks softly. She must be remembering the times during high school where she was pining over him. “If he’s interested… I suppose he could give me a call.”

You watch her expression closely, noticing the way her cheeks flush pink. “You suppose? You clearly want me to tell Ricky to send you a message. Why didn’t you just say that instead of telling me to introduce you to someone?”

Wonyoung shrugs, looking away from you. “I don’t know. Guess I was just a little bit… shy?”

You laugh at her words, picking up your phone to message Ricky. You then realise you didn’t get Ricky’s number the night of the reunion, and since you know Ricky and Jungwon are friends, you decide to text him instead.

Hey, could I get Ricky’s number? you message Jungwon. I think Wonyoung’s interested in him.

Jungwon always replies to your messages instantly. Of course, here. He sends you Ricky’s number, and you thank him. We could set them up, if you’re up for it. Us four, dinner at my place.

Wonyoung peers over your shoulder to read what Jungwon’s saying to you. “I think he likes you, (Name).”

“What makes you say that?”

You know it’s a stupid thing to say after he did call you pretty. Twice.

“He’s basically asking for it to be a double date. Come on now, (Name)! Don’t be silly. But, let him know I’m up for it.” Wonyoung teases you, and you sigh.

Sounds good, you tell him. When and where?

Do you guys mind if it’s tonight, 7pm? Ricky will be in Paris for the next 2 weeks, he replies, and Wonyoung’s eyes widen. “Tonight? Tonight tonight? I have to go home and get ready. I’ll see you in a bit!” she says, grabbing her bags before rushing out of the door. You take that as Wonyoung not minding, and it’s not like you have anything to do anyways.

We don’t mind, you reply. See you tonight.

You find yourself excited to see Jungwon again. You haven’t seen him since the cherry blossom season ended. But to be fair, which was a week and a half ago, so it hasn’t really been too long.

Him calling you pretty has been stuck in your head for the past week. You don’t know how 2 simple words could have such an effect on you, but here you are, with those two words said in his voice replaying again and again and again.

You decide to wear something a little simpler tonight, just a green cardigan and a pair of jeans. Chaewon walks into your room just as you’re curling your lashes, and she gives you a knowing smile. “Who are you seeing tonight?” she asks, even though she has a hunch.

“Wonyo and I are meeting Ricky and Jungwon for dinner.” you reply, applying some tinted lip balm onto your lips. “Wonyoung thinks Ricky is cute. I guess her feelings never really went away from high school.”

“I guess they didn’t,” Chaewon says, hand on her hip. The engagement ring on her finger sparkles when the light catches it, and you really need to commend Soobin on doing such a good job on finding a gorgeous ring. “But you and Jungwon, huh? I know I keep pressing you about this… but. You know… you two have seemed to bond very quickly.”

She’s not wrong.

You do admit that you find yourself wanting to see Jungwon again. You wouldn’t call it love yet, or anything of the sort – but perhaps there is some sort of attraction, or something that makes you gravitate towards him.

But then you remind yourself that in your life, you have no time for love. 5 years is far too little, and 5 years is all you’ve got. Jungwon deserves someone who can give him a forever and more. 5 years is your forever.

For Jungwon, 5 years probably doesn’t mean much at all.

Chaewon sees the hesitant look on your face. “Don’t be afraid to fall in love, (Name).”

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

She looks at you with a sad smile. “(Name), I want to see you happy. Jungwon can give you that. It doesn’t matter how long or short your life is, just please… don’t forbid yourself from finding happiness. You deserve it more than anyone.” Chaewon wraps you in a hug. “I don’t want to let you go. None of us do.”

“I don’t want to hurt another person.”

“It will hurt at first,” Chaewon tells you, her arms still wrapped around you tightly. “But then all of us will think: gosh, wasn’t I so lucky to know (Name) in this lifetime?”

You feel tears starting to well up in your eyes. “I’m sorry, Chaewon.”

“Don’t be sorry. You didn't choose this path for yourself. All I know is that… I’m the luckiest person alive to have had you as a sister.” she tells you, hugging you tighter.

“Now, enough sad stuff,” she says, wiping your tears with the pads of her thumbs. “Go to this dinner tonight, and if anything happens between you and Jungwon, let me know.”

You smile at your sister, giving her another hug. “Okay.”

And before you walk out of the door, you turn back to look at her. “I know you said no sad stuff, and this isn’t really sad, but… I feel like I’m the luckiest person alive to have you as a sister.”

Chaewon only smiles softly as she watches you leave.

SEVEN.

Jungwon’s house is cozy.

Maeumi greets you and Wonyoung at the door, and Jungwon gives you a kind smile when he sees you. He’s wearing a grey hoodie and some black sweatpants, and even though the outfit is simple, it looks nice on him.

Wonyoung notices the soft smile on Jungwon’s lips as he watches you play with Maeumi. Wonyoung sneaks up behind him, whispering into his ear. “You really like her, huh?”

Jungwon gets startled by Wonyoung’s sudden comment. “Gosh, don’t sneak up on me like that!” he says, clutching his chest dramatically. The girl next to him giggles, and you look up at the two.

“Did I miss something?” you ask, and Jungwon rapidly shakes his head no. Wonyoung, on the other hand, points at Jungwon discreetly, then makes a heart with her hands, then points at you.

What she’s gesturing to you is that she thinks Jungwon likes you.

You give her an amused smile before turning your attention back to Maeumi. “Look, Jungwon. Shoot your shot.” Wonyoung whispers to the boy. Jungwon’s eyes are still transfixed on you, and anyone could instantly notice how the boy is absolutely smitten.

Before Jungwon can say anything, Ricky bursts through the door. “Jungwon, I couldn’t decide whether to get Wonyoung roses or tulips, so I just got both— oh! You’re already here. Um… hi, Wonyoung,” he says, holding two bouquets.

“These are for you… both of them.” he hands Wonyoung the bouquets, and you see the pink flush on Wonyoung’s cheeks almost instantly as she accepts the flowers from Ricky with a shy smile.

“I take it he’s into her?” you whisper to Jungwon, who’s now standing by your side. Jungwon nods, his arms crossed as he watches the scene in front of you two. “Ever since 10th grade. So, when I got your text, he got a little bit too excited. He asked me if he should come wearing a suit.”

You laugh at his words, and Jungwon thinks it’s the prettiest sound he’s ever heard. “Well, Wonyo’s interested too. Look at them laughing.” you nod towards Wonyoung and Ricky, who are chatting to each other with bright smiles on their faces.

“Let’s not bother them. They seem to be hitting it off quite well. I’m going to prepare dinner, if you’d like to come join me.” he says, heading towards the kitchen. You follow him, and so does Maeumi.

“Don’t go into the kitchen, Maeumi.” you tell the dog, telling it to stay in the living room. You don’t notice Jungwon gazing at you adoringly, but out of the corner of her eye, Wonyoung does. She smiles to herself, before redirecting her attention to Ricky.

You help Jungwon with preparing some of the food, such as chopping up vegetables and seasoning the dishes. “Are you hungry?” he asks you, and you nod.

“Starving. Everything smells so good. You’re a good chef, Jungwon.”

Jungwon smiles. “Well, thank you.”

“What can’t you do?” you ask him, as he cracks an egg into the fry pan. Ricky, despite being outside, overhears your conversation. What can’t Jungwon do? Confess to you, Ricky thinks.

Soon enough, Jungwon finishes cooking. You help him bring out some plates, and some of the dishes. Ricky and Wonyoung are seated next to one another, with Ricky moving his chair just the slightest to be able to be sitting closer to your friend. You smirk at Wonyoung, who gives you a stare to tell you to not say a word.

Jungwon places the last dish on the table, and he sits down in the seat next to you. Now, it’s Wonyoung’s turn to tease you, and you give her the same look.

“Let’s eat!”

Jungwon’s food is amazing. There is quite literally nothing that he can’t do. He’s a lawyer, he was head of the student council, and he could be a chef. Jo should probably watch out.

“This is so good,” you say, in between mouthfuls, and pink dusts Jungwon’s cheeks when he hears your compliment.

“Thank you. I’m glad you like it — eat more,” he says.

The rest of the night is spent reminiscing over your high school days, and Ricky heads towards Jungwon’s fridge, and grabs the bottle of soju that he’s brought. “Jungwon, where’s your shot glasses?”

“Cabinet on your right,” the boy sitting beside you replies. “Get 3. (Name) doesn’t drink.”

You look at him, slightly surprised. “How’d you know?”

“You told Hanni that you don’t drink at the reunion. I remember, (Name).” Jungwon says, smiling at you.

Ricky places the bottle of soju on your side of the table. “He’s got a terrible memory. He only remembers because it’s you,” he whispers to you, before sitting back down in his seat.

And as Jungwon pours soju into his glass, your mind’s fixated on those words. He only remembers because it’s you. Are you someone special to Jungwon?

The thought of being someone special to Yang Jungwon makes you feel… good. It's a simple way of describing it, but you don’t know how else to say it. You’ve never experienced what it’s like to love someone, and you don’t know if this is love, but… you think you care for the boy sitting next to you.

In high school, he would be someone you considered just a classmate. You knew of him, and you talked to him occasionally — but you wouldn’t have ever really considered him to be a friend.

Now, mere weeks after your first meeting in a few years, you’d like to consider Yang Jungwon as one of your friends. You would like to get closer to him, as your relationship has progressed so quickly in the past couple of weeks, but you feel like you’ve known him for… forever.

Yes, that funny word. Forever. For all time.

He feels familiar. He feels like home.

And home is where you feel the safest.

If you told Chaewon all of your thoughts about Jungwon, you’d wonder what she’d say. Is it just a simple, plain crush, or would she consider it to be something more? Or even if it was just a simple, plain crush, could it be something more?

Love has been something you’ve never even considered for yourself. But with Yang Jungwon now in the picture, you’re starting to see the possibility of the last 5 years of your life with who Chaewon would refer to as: the one.

As the night goes on, the chemistry between Ricky and Wonyoung is undeniable. You know that they’d make a cute couple. Would it be too early to say that you think they’ve found their soulmate? you think.

Ricky checks his watch. “Ah, it’s late. I should probably go. I’ll drive you home, if you’d like.” he says to Wonyoung.

“That would be really great,” she says, smiling at him. “But what about you, (Name)?”

“I’ll take her home,” Jungwon says, standing up. “You guys enjoy your date.”

Ricky and Wonyoung’s cheeks both flush red. “Thank you?” Wonyoung replies.

“I’ll clean this up,” Jungwon picks up a few of the plates.

“I’ll help you.” you tell him, and the boy gives you a grateful smile. As you’re piling some of the plates on top of one another, Ricky stops Jungwon in his tracks when he’s on his way to put the dishes into the sink.

“You should do it.” Ricky whispers to him.

“Do what?” Jungwon whispers back.

“Tell her how you feel.”

“What? It’s too early for that,” Jungwon says, and Ricky rolls his eyes. “I reconnected with Wonyoung today.”

Ricky does have a fair point. Jungwon guesses that he’s just a little too scared that he’ll ruin something good between you two.

“It’s okay, Jungwon. I think she’ll reciprocate those feelings. Now, I’m going to drive Wonyoung home. See you tomorrow.” Ricky waves at the boy, and both you and Jungwon hear the door close.

“They’re very cute together,” you tell him, as he cleans a frying pan. “I think we’re great at matchmaking.” you hand Jungwon a plate, and his hand touches yours.

His hand is cold, but his touch makes you feel warm. Your ears feel hot, and you don’t know what’s happening. Are you sick again?

“Yes,” Jungwon says, focused on cleaning the dishes. “I think we are.”

Silence falls between the both of you. Not an awkward silence, more so of a comfortable one. Both of you, simply just basking in the comfort of each other’s presence. You help Jungwon put away the clean plates.

“Thank you, (Name).” he says.

“Uh, no worries.” you reply.

You don’t know when you and Jungwon inch closer to one another. It just happens, as if some force is pushing you two closer together. Jungwon’s eyes flicker towards your lips, and you suddenly feel a little nervous under his gaze.

Your heart’s pounding a mile a minute. You think you’re going to feel sick from all the nervousness.

You want to lean in. You want to give in — to tell your mind that you can fall in love, and like Chaewon said, just because you’re dying, you shouldn’t forbid yourself from finding happiness.

But that fear kicks in. The fear of hurting more people than you already have to. Jungwon’s one of the sweetest, kindest people you think you’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Breaking his heart now would be less painful than breaking his heart 5 years later, when you inevitably leave him alone in this world.

That fear tells you to leave. Because that fear tells you that Jungwon deserves someone who can have a Chaewon and Soobin-like fairytale romance. You cannot give him that.

And just as Jungwon leans in, you step back. “Um… I have to go. I’m sorry. I’ll… see you tomorrow. Or sometime soon, I don’t know.”

You take one small glance at Jungwon, and it’s just enough time to notice the dejected look in his eye. But, he quickly covers it up with a tight-lipped smile. “Of course. I’ll send you home.”

“Um, there’s no need for you to,” you say, tapping on your phone. “My sister is coming to get me. Thank you for tonight, Jungwon.”

You grab your bag from the couch, and you rush out the door.

Jungwon can’t help but feel like he’s made the biggest mistake.

EIGHT.

The next time you see Jungwon, you both act like nothing happened.

But the events of that night replay in Jungwon’s head every hour, every second, every minute. The hesitant look on your face before you stepped away is burned into his mind, and remembering the way you rushed out of the door so hastily makes his heart shatter.

You meet him in the park again. You two are quite fond of this park. It is near Jungwon’s workplace, and it is near your house. You walk alongside him, recording the view in front of you with your camera. Jungwon stuffs his hands in his pockets, and he feels like he should talk to you about that night.

Because for a split second before you ran off, Jungwon thought that you wanted to lean in. He supposes he was wrong.

He wonders if he should continue to hold these types of feelings towards you. If you’re clearly not interested, Jungwon understands. He’ll let all these feelings go, and he’ll act like they never existed. You two could stay just friends.

The plan sounds easier said than done, but if that is what will make you happy, he will do it.

He will let go of all those years of pining for you.

He just wants an answer. He doesn’t know if he’s asking for too much, though. As he walks alongside you, he isn’t sure if he should bring the situation up.

“You’re quiet today, Jungwon.” you say, looking at him. The boy snaps out of his thoughts, and offers you a weak smile.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?”

Should he just talk to you about it?

“I… I was thinking about the thing that happened.” he says, and you immediately know what he means. You stop in your tracks to face him, turning off the recording. “Oh,” you say softly.

Jungwon figures he might as well just pour his feelings out now. It can’t get much more awkward than this, and… if he finds out that you do reciprocate those feelings he holds for you, then… everything will be fine. Well, better than fine. Everything will be great.

“(Name), I like you. I know… that this is sudden — or maybe it isn’t, since the whole thing happened but… I just thought that you should know. I’ve liked you since you walked into that classroom in grade 7, and Maeumi bumping into you at the park was like some sort of sign for me, from the universe, to remind me that I wasn’t over you at all, even though I hadn’t seen you in years — I just… really like you. I’d like to spend every cherry blossom season with you, if you’d let me.”

For a split second, you allow yourself to smile like a lovesick fool.

The confession makes warmth bloom across your chest, and you feel nothing but pure euphoria in the moment.

Every cherry blossom season with you.

Every. Every, being 5. You will see 5 more cherry blossom seasons. Or maybe even less.

And your smile falls.

“Jungwon… thank you for telling me,” you say. Your eyes are fixated on the ground — you don’t want to see the look on his face when you have to shatter his heart. “But… one day, I fear you will regret falling for me if I say yes.”

Jungwon looks at you, confusion written all across his features. “(Name), what do you mean? I have many regrets in life, but I will never regret falling for you.”

He’s sweet. Too sweet. You don’t want to hurt him.

“You can’t know. It’s better for you to not know.” you cannot let Jungwon know you’re dying. Him knowing about your illness would crush him — and you would rather not see Jungwon sad about anything.

“What do you mean?”

“I like you a lot, Jungwon.”

You like him. Jungwon feels the slightest glimmer of hope at your words.

“But, I don’t want to hurt you. Please don’t make this harder than it already is — I don’t want to share my burdens with you. I feel like a burden for everyone else. I don’t need another person to pile all my issues onto — I am hurting, and I will end up hurting everyone else.” you say, your voice shaky. That glimmer of hope Jungwon once felt is suddenly gone.

“Then let us hurt together. You will never be a burden to me, (Name). What makes you say that?” Jungwon asks you, placing his hand on your shoulder to comfort you. You look up at him with tears brimming your eyes, and you give him a weak smile.

“Because everyone thinks that.” you murmur.

“Who thinks that?” he asks you, his voice soft. “I don’t think that — I’ll never think that. (Name), you can talk to me.”

“Jungwon, just… leave it be. I… wish I could say yes to you, but I can’t. I will leave a lot of people hurt, and I would rather not have one of those people be you. And if you’ll excuse me… I have to go.” you say, bidding him farewell.

Once again, you walk away from Jungwon. Just like that night in his apartment.

That time, Jungwon did not chase after you.

This time, he does.

“(Name), please. You won’t hurt me. We can share these burdens together — I am here for you. I will always be here for you,” he says, and you sigh.

“Jungwon, you don’t understand—“

“Then help me understand. Tell me what I don’t understand. If you don’t understand either, let us figure it out together.”

“I don’t want you to understand!” you raise your voice, startling Jungwon. “Because I don’t want you to be hurt. This… is my burden to carry. If things were alright, I would’ve said yes without thinking. If everything was normal, I wouldn’t have ran away that night. If I knew that I wouldn’t hurt you, I would’ve kissed you. But things aren’t alright. Things are not normal, and I know that I will hurt you. So please, Jungwon. Let this… go.”

You know that by saying this, you’ve lost your one chance at love. You pushed away the one person who truly liked you, the person who wanted every cherry blossom season with you — Yang Jungwon.

You want to cry. 5 years left on the clock and you’ll be single and lonely for the rest of your life.

Your heart feels heavy. Everything hurts. You clutch your chest, and suddenly everything feels strange. It’s all spinning, the green leaves on the trees are starting to look fuzzy — you can’t breathe, and your chest just feels tight. Jungwon’s face is starting to become blurry, and you feel like you’re going to collapse.

Are you going to die? Are you going to die in front of Jungwon?

“I… I have to go.” you say, your vision getting blurrier by the second. You try to run away from the boy, but you feel yourself getting weaker and weaker.

“(Name)? Are you okay?” Jungwon notices the urgency in your voice, and the way you’re almost wobbling away from him — you’re losing your balance.

The world becomes a blur, and you collapse to the ground.

NINE.

Your eyes open, and you’re greeted with the familiar sight of a hospital room.

“Hey, (Name).” Chaewon says, her hand on top of yours. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Um… I don’t know.” you say, blinking at her. “I just feel normal. A little more tired than usual, though.”

She nods. “You just woke up. That’s normal.”

“What happened?” you ask her, and Chaewon shrugs.

“You tell me. Jungwon says that you were with him, and then you suddenly passed out in the park. He called an ambulance to get you here. He’s still outside waiting for you. He said he called into work and said there was an emergency,” she replies, smiling. “He’s very sweet, (Name). And he seems to like you a lot.”

“I ruined it. I ruined it all,” you tell Chaewon. “He is… all things perfect, and he likes me. But I am scared, and dying.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I keep not listening to you. You told me that I shouldn’t let this illness get in the way of the things I want — but the fear. It consumes me. I don’t want to leave more and more people behind, I don’t want more people to be hurt because I’m losing my life. I just feel like a burden.” you say, voice shaky as you stare at the white ceiling of your hospital room.

“When I’m gone, I won’t have to suffer any more pain at the hands of this illness. But that means people will be suffering from the loss of me.”

Chaewon sighs. “I can’t just tell you that I understand how you feel, because I really don’t. All I can tell you, from an outside perspective, is that… no matter how long or short it is, life is worth living. I know it’s easier said than done, but… you can’t let that fear control what little of your life you have left.”

“You like Jungwon, don’t you? And don’t you tell me of course you’ll like him, since he’s a friend. I mean you like like him.”

You sigh, staring up at the white ceilings of your hospital room. “There’s just this feeling. This feeling seems to push him and I together. My heart skips a beat when he’s around, and gosh, if I wasn’t so scared of what’s to come, I wouldn’t have ruined everything.”

“Ruined what?”

“He tried to kiss me that night we had dinner with Ricky and Wonyoung. We… both leaned in, but at the last second, I pulled away. All these terrible thoughts were running rampant in my mind, and I just… couldn’t. I couldn’t allow myself to let go of those fears. And he told me he liked me today. Just before I collapsed… I told him I couldn’t be with him because I’d only hurt him and make him feel burdened. He told me that we could share that burden, that we could hurt together. But I could never do that to someone as kind as him. He can’t suffer simply because I am. None of you should have to suffer because I am.”

Chaewon will never understand what it feels like to be you. She’ll never understand what it’s like to know that you’re dying. She’ll never fully understand those fears you have, and at times she may find them irrational.

But what she does understand, is that Yang Jungwon has somehow made his way into your heart. Your heart has been locked for many years now, and you’re not so easy to give someone the key.

However, with Jungwon, you handed him the key like it was the most natural thing to do.

“Jungwon seems like a very sweet guy,” Chaewon tells you. “He cares about you a lot. And I think you care a lot about him too. You don’t want to hurt him, but you’re also pushing him away. Isn’t that going to make him hurt more?”

“This won’t hurt as bad as when I die.”

“And do you want to die without knowing what it’s like to fall in love? Knowing that you had the right person standing in front of you all those years ago, but you had turned around and left because you were scared? Wouldn’t you rather feel nothing but joy, bliss, and love before you go? And… even though you might not get a forever with Jungwon, I’m sure he’ll treasure those 5 years he has with you more than anything.”

“He told me he wanted to spend every cherry blossom season with me.” you murmur.

“Then spend every cherry blossom season you can with him.” she tells you, the volume of her voice matching yours.

“I don’t know how I ended up… liking him this much. Maybe because everything feels peaceful, everything feels just fine — sometimes I forget that I’m dying when I’m with him.” you breathe out shakily.

“Well, I think you know what you need to do, (Name).” Chaewon tells you softly.

“Would you call him in here for me?” you ask her, and she nods. She gives your hand a tight squeeze before she gets out of her chair, leaving your room to go get Jungwon.

You stare at the ceiling blankly once again, wondering what you’re going to say to him. “Are you okay, (Name)?” he asks you once he enters the room, sitting down on the chair next to your bed, and it snaps you out of your thoughts.

You smile at him. “Yes. I am okay.”

He sighs out of relief. “That’s good. That’s good — and I thought about… the conversation. I get it. It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not okay,” you tell him, and Jungwon looks at you, confused. “I should help you understand. I’m sick. I didn’t want you to know, because everyone around me has been taking care of me, and I have constantly felt like a burden — I did not want you to have to suffer through all of my problems, if we ever started dating.”

“But you will get better, won’t you?”

You press your lips into a thin line. You want to make the best out of these five years. You do not want Jungwon to know that there is no cure. So, you lie. “I will be alright.”

“And I’m sorry, Jungwon.”

“Sorry for…?”

“I really didn’t want to do this in a hospital room, of all places, but I shouldn’t have pulled away that night. I’m sorry for making you feel confused about my feelings,” you tell him. “I wanted it to happen, and I messed things up today because I was scared. I don’t want you to think that I don’t like you, because I do. I don’t know how relationships work, I don’t know how this will go, but I know that… I would like to spend every cherry blossom season with you too.”

“Are you sure?” Jungwon asks, as if he’s in disbelief.

“Yes. I am sure.”

Jungwon gives you the widest smile you’ve ever seen from him, a pink flush blooming across his cheeks. “I really like you, (Name).”

He’s been quietly holding onto his love for you for years. Sure, he’s gone on a couple dates with other people — but even with no contact, his mind drifts off to you. He knows that the effect you have on him is absurd, but he just can’t help it.

He takes your hand, lacing your fingers with his. Even though you are in a hospital bed, everything seems right — with Jungwon, everything always seems right.

So this is the feeling that Chaewon has gushed over. Love.

And now that you finally feel it — love — you’re floating on cloud nine. Yang Jungwon likes you. You like Yang Jungwon. Those fears you once had have now dissipated.

“I would kiss you, but I’d rather not have our first kiss to be in a hospital.” he whispers, pressing his forehead against yours.

“It’s okay,” you say, smiling. “I can wait.”

Jungwon now realises that he has loved you silently for too long.

Now he gets to love you out loud.

NINE.

You return home a couple days later.

Jungwon visits you every day when you’re in the hospital. “Rest up, and then we can spend time together. We can go wherever you’d like,” he says, his hand in yours.

“Your condition improves more when Jungwon’s here.” Soobin tells you. “Really?” you ask him, and your sister’s fiancée shakes his head.

“I meant your mood. Not the whole… you know. But I’m working on a cure, don’t forget that.” he says, ruffling your hair.

“Condition is not the same as attitude, Soob. Plus, with the whole cure thing… you always say that.”

“Don’t give up hope, (Name). Your brother-in-law is going to save your life.” he says, smiling at you. You chuckle at his use of the word “brother-in-law”. He hasn’t even married Chaewon yet.

You decide to listen to Soobin’s words — to not give up hope. For the first time, you want to believe that Soobin can create the cure. You want to live, because 5 years are truly not enough.

Those chances are slim. But you ignore that for now. Chaewon tells you to live in the moment, so you do.

You spend the first day out of hospital in Jungwon’s apartment.

“I’m so tired!” Jungwon says, flopping into his bed. You laugh at his antics, and he rolls over, holding his arms out to get you to lie down on the bed with him.

You do, and Jungwon wraps you in his arms, kissing you on the cheek. “You have yet to give me the kiss you told me you’d give me when I was in hospital,” you remind him, and Jungwon smiles.

“I just kissed you on the cheek. That counts, doesn’t it?” he says, teasing you. You frown, and Jungwon smiles at your cute expression. “I’m kidding.”

He leans in, pressing his lips to yours. He kisses you tenderly, one hand cupping your cheek and one hand resting on your waist. The kiss is slow, with the both of you wanting to treasure this moment for as long as you can, and when you finally pull away, you see Jungwon smiling brightly at you, with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes.

“One more.” he says, leaning back in to kiss you again.

He repeats this process ten more times. He pulls away, tells you he wants one more, kisses you again, and then the cycle repeats.

“You are one funny guy.” you tell him.

“Is it funny to want to kiss my girlfriend?” he asks you, his face inches away from yours. You can’t stop the goofy smile from spreading across your lips, and Jungwon finds such amusement in your reaction.

“No,” you reply. This time, you’re the one to lean in first, stealing a kiss from him. He gasps when you pull away, looking at you with wide eyes. “And you called me the funny guy!” he says.

“Well, I like you a lot.” you say.

Maeumi’s bark disturbs the moment that you two have been sharing. “I think he’s telling us to get a room.” you whisper to him, giggling.

“Maeumi, I am in my room!” Jungwon gets up from the bed to ruffle Maeumi’s fur. Maeumi wanders back outside to the living room, and Jungwon returns to the bed. “Let’s watch a movie,” he says, turning on the television in his room.

You make yourself comfortable, sitting in between Jungwon’s legs, resting your head against his chest. You feel his heart beating, perfectly in sync with yours.

Thump, thump, thump. You’ve never felt more alive.

Jungwon notices the small smile on your lips. “What’s got you so happy?” he asks, and you shake your head. “Nothing. Just you.”

“Just me?” Jungwon says, and you nod. He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Well, I’m glad that I can make you happy.”

For someone who is dying, joy is not an emotion that comes easily. The pills you take each morning, the constant doctor’s appointments and the pity you see on people’s faces whenever you walk into a room are just some of the things that remind you of your fate. Joy is hard to experience with the constant reminder of death looming just around the corner.

But when you’re with Jungwon, joy comes easily.

You’ve never smiled more after Jungwon officially asked you to be his girlfriend. He asked you the day before you were going to be discharged, showing up to the hospital with a bouquet of pink flowers. “I know they’re not cherry blossoms,” he tells you. “But I hope you still like them.”

You keep these pink flowers in a vase that you’ve placed near your desk. You tell yourself to buy the exact same flowers to replace these ones when they eventually wilt.

“I wouldn’t have asked you to be my girlfriend in a hospital room, but I couldn’t wait any longer.” he had said, his hand holding yours.

The pain you feel across your chest hurts a little less when he’s holding your hand. His smile allows you to forget about the fact that you’re dying, just for a while.

You take a deep breath. This is what it’s like to be alive.

Now that you’ve got a taste of it, after restricting yourself from being able to experience the joy and wonder of what life truly is — you find that you want more life. You want more time.

You want more cherry blossom seasons with Yang Jungwon.

5 seems too little.

Jungwon senses that you’re feeling a little tense, and gives you a kiss on the top of your head. “You okay?” he asks you, and you tilt your head to look at him.

“Yeah. I’m okay.” you tell him, squeezing his hand to reassure him.

“If you want to talk about anything, just tell me. Like I said that day in the park — we can share any burdens you might have together. I’m always here for you.” he tells you softly, and your heart warms at his words.

“Thank you, Won.” you tell him, and you press your lips to his in a soft kiss. “I’m so lucky to have found you.”

“I could say the same about you.”

TEN.

Chaewon’s wedding is today.

It’s been 2 months since you and Jungwon started seeing one another. Every day you spend with him, you feel like you’re falling more and more in love.

You decide to take Jungwon as your plus-one to the wedding. Chaewon is nothing but overjoyed, and she tells you that your parents can properly meet him for the first time (since the first time your parents saw him was at the hospital, after you had fainted at the park.)

“Do I look okay?” you ask Jungwon, who’s patiently waiting for you in a black suit and tie.

Jungwon’s breath hitches in his throat. You look absolutely mesmerising, and Jungwon can’t take his eyes off of you. You’re absolutely breathtaking — he can’t even say a word, his mouth agape as you chuckle at your reaction.

“Won? Hello?”

“Sorry,” he says, snapping out of his daze. “You look… incredible. You are gorgeous, (Name).”

You smile at him, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “We better get going, we don’t want to be late.”

The drive to the wedding venue is filled with laughter, and blasting your favourite songs from the speakers of Jungwon’s car. You tell him about some of the things you’ve written, and he asks if you’ve written anything about him.

You tell him it’s a secret, even though the answer is yes.

You’re writing a book, detailing the last 10 years of your life. You decide not to tell Jungwon the topic of the book, because you wouldn’t want him to find out like this. You don’t want him to find out at all, actually.

But despite the grim topics that you know your book will touch on, every part that mentions Jungwon will be filled with nothing but words of love, joy, and adoration.

When you and Jungwon arrive at the venue, the first thing you notice is how the exterior is decorated beautifully. Chaewon did show you how she wanted everything to be decorated, but now that you see it all in front of you, it looks magical.

“(Name)!” you hear Wonyoung call out to you, and standing beside her is Ricky. Their relationship, just like yours and Jungwon’s, is going well. Wonyoung had told you that she and Ricky had just flown out to Paris for a romantic getaway.

“Wonyo!” you say, walking up to her and giving her a hug. “You look gorgeous, as always.”

Wonyoung blushes at your compliment, thanking you. “You look amazing as well! Jungwon, you’re a lucky guy.” she says, smiling at him, and Jungwon nods.

“That I am,” he says, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

“You guys are so cute. You know, I’ve been watching this guy pine for you since 7th grade, you know that?” Ricky points towards Jungwon, whose cheeks are now turning red. “He’s liked you for a very, very, very, long time.”

“I could say the same about you for Wonyoung,” Jungwon replies, and now Ricky’s the one left with red cheeks, as Wonyoung laughs.

“Where’s Minji and Hajoon?” you ask your friend, and she shrugs. “I think they’re coming soon. We should probably head into the venue and find our seats,” Wonyoung replies, and you nod. “You guys are sitting in the front, because you’re family, right?”

You nod, walking inside the venue. The inside is just as gorgeous as the outside — white chairs are lined up in rows, with a small bouquet of flowers tied to the ends of the chairs on each row. There’s a giant crystal chandelier dangling from the ceiling, and you can’t help but look around in awe.

“Am I in the front with you?” Jungwon asks, and you nod. “Of course,” you say, squeezing his hand. You two make your way to the front row, and your parents are already seated. “Oh, (Name)! And you must be Jungwon. We met at the… hospital, didn’t we?” your mother asks, and Jungwon nods, bowing to her.

“Yes, ma’am. It’s nice to see you again.” he says, and your parents smile at him. “It’s nice to see you again under… better circumstances, Jungwon.” your father says, referring to the incident in the hospital.

“Thank you, sir. I’m glad to be here, the wedding looks beautiful.” he says, admiring the decorations. “Our Chaewon did so much planning for the big day,” your mother replies, smiling. “I’m so happy everything came out the way she and Soobin wanted it to.”

“You know Chae. Ever the perfectionist. Soobin as well,” you joke, and your parents chuckle. “It’s their wedding day. Of course they want things to be perfect.” your mother replies.

Suddenly, you hear the loud voice of your aunt. “Hello, hello! And who’s this?” she asks you, pointing at Jungwon.

“This is Jungwon. He’s my boyfriend, auntie.” you tell her, as she sits down next to your mother. “You? Boyfriend?” she asks, looking very surprised.

Something about her reaction makes you feel very uncomfortable, and Jungwon can sense that. He gives your hand a small squeeze to reassure you. “Uh, yes. Nice to meet you.” he says to your aunt, who looks him up and down.

“How do you know (Name)?”

“High school, ma’am. We were in the same class. We reconnected after accidentally bumping into each other at the park though, and then there was this high school reunion.” he explains, and your aunt nods along to his words — she is not hiding her disinterest at all.

“Well.” is all that she says, and you sigh.

The music starts playing, and you know the wedding is about to start.

When you watch your sister walk down the aisle, you can’t help but have a few tears in your eyes. Jungwon silently gives you a pack of tissues that he’s purposely put in his pocket — he knows that weddings are typically an emotional affair.

“I’m so happy for her.” you say, and Jungwon nods. “They make a very nice couple.” he says to you.

By the time Chaewon’s about to say your vows, you’ve already used up Jungwon’s entire pack of tissues. Mainly because your parents are both crying hysterically.

“Soobin, when I saw you for the first time, something seemed to just… click. It was as if I knew you were going to hold an important place in my life, and I was right. Here I am, standing in front of you, about to marry you, the love of my life. Before I knew you, I had all these… thoughts about how love would be just like the movies, picture-perfect and like a fairytale. Our love isn’t perfect — you are always busy, and I always am busy. But we make things work. And with you, I’ve learned that love doesn’t exactly have to be perfect. Love just needs to be with the right person. And you, Choi Soobin, are the right person for me.”

You’ve never seen Soobin emotional. He’s crying, and it is a strange sight to witness. But you know those are tears of happiness, tears of joy.

The room erupts into cheers when they kiss, and you can’t stop smiling from ear to ear.

Jungwon finds himself looking at you, as Chaewon and Soobin walk down the aisle together.

Maybe that could be you and him someday. Not anytime soon, of course, considering that you two had only been dating for 2 months.

But Jungwon dreams for a forever with you. He sees a forever with you. He wants a forever with you.

He just doesn’t know that he can’t.

TEN.

During the after party, you go into the bathroom to hide while you take your medicine.

You don’t wish for it to be a whole scene, and you certainly don’t want people asking you about why you need medication. Or much worse, people who know about your illness bringing up the fact that you’re dying right in front of Jungwon.

He must not know. He cannot know.

You take a small bottled water into the bathroom stall with you, and as you open your small pill box, taking out the medicine, you hear 2 voices.

One that belongs to your aunt, and one who’s presumably her friend, based on the way they’re giggling.

“Oh, what a wonderful wedding. Eunsoo must be so happy about how everything went.” your aunt’s friend says. “Chaewon and Soobin are such a perfect match.”

“Absolutely,” your aunt replies. “Ah, do you know (Name) brought her boyfriend to the wedding?”

“(Name)? I heard she only had 2 to 3 years left, right? Because of that dreadful illness. Poor Eunsoo, losing a daughter so young. And poor Chaewon too, losing your sister so quickly after getting married.” your aunt’s friend sighs.

You don’t want to hear this conversation. You didn’t bring headphones, nothing to drown their voices out. But you simply cannot leave the bathroom stall now, not while they’re out there.

So you have to listen.

“Yes, she’s got a maximum of 5 years left. She looks much happier today, I must say. But I pity the boyfriend. Seems like a very sweet young man,” your aunt says, and you feel absolutely terrible. “He doesn’t seem to know about the illness, which is for the better. I only pray that he won’t be too hurt when she eventually goes.”

“Poor (Name) won’t even be able to get married. 5 years is not enough time.”

“Don’t you think (Name) is wasting the poor boy’s time? She seeks happiness before she goes, but… what’s his name again? Jungwon, he’ll be terribly devastated. If I was in her position, I wouldn’t risk it.”

Your aunt’s words make you feel like throwing up.

You have thought all these things before. But now hearing that other people have thought about it too makes everything feel much worse. Maybe you are wasting Jungwon’s time — maybe he should find someone better, someone who isn’t dying, someone who could give him a forever.

“We better get back,” your aunt says. “I heard the cake is delicious.”

When you hear the door close behind them, you let out a sigh. You hastily take your pill, swallowing it down. You leave the bathroom stall, looking at yourself in the mirror.

Deep breaths, (Name). Jungwon’s voice rings in your head.

Don’t think about anything you just heard. Don’t mention what you just heard to anyone. Act like everything is just perfectly fine.

You plaster on a smile before exiting the bathroom, and you make your way over to Jungwon. You fiddle with your fingers nervously, and Jungwon grabs ahold of one of your hands. “Is something wrong?”

He’s so attentive. It’s so incredibly sweet, but also makes it incredibly hard to hide anything from him. You’re lucky he doesn’t pry when you tell him you’re fine — he trusts you. If you’re not ready to tell him, he doesn’t push it.

“I’m okay, Won, I was just redoing my makeup. From crying.” you lie. You can’t show him that you were shaken up due to what you had overheard from the bathroom – especially words that had come out of a family member’s mouth.

Thanks to your aunt, many of the fears that you had before come back. They haunt you like demons that attach themselves to you like leeches on your shoulder, their dark, gloomy voices whispering into your ear. You are wasting his time, they tell you. You are hurting him. You might bring him joy now, but you will bring him endless sadness.

“Yes, you did cry quite a bit,” Jungwon’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. He rests his hand on your shoulder, and all those demons suddenly disappear. “You’re lucky that I brought those tissues.”

“My parents basically used all of them – they were hysterical. Plus, I’m surprised Chaewon didn’t burst into tears the second she saw Soobin.”

Chaewon appears the second you say her name. “I was holding in my tears, thank you very much.” she says, and you greet her with a hug. “You’re married, Chae!”

“I’m married!” she squeals, showing off her ring. “My heart is just… so full. I feel like it could explode right now.” The pure joy on Chaewon’s face is very clearly visible, and seeing your sister so happy with Soobin brings a smile to your face.

“Jungwon, I hope you don’t mind that I steal your girlfriend away from you for just a little bit,” Chaewon says, and you roll your eyes playfully at her. “I’ve got to talk to her.”

“I’m your sister,” you remind her as she drags you away from your boyfriend. “Sorry,” you mouth to Jungwon, who chuckles, telling you to come back soon. When you leave his side, you see your parents go up to him, and Jungwon greets them politely.

“So… you brought him to the wedding. Things must be getting serious.” Chaewon says, taking a sip of her champagne. You look back at Jungwon talking to your parents, and he’s laughing at something that your mother had said. “Yes. I suppose so,” you hum. “It’s been 2 months since we started dating.”

“Yet it feels like it’s been two years. In the span of 2 months, you and Jungwon have done more couple-like things than Soobin and I have in our 7 years of being together.” she says matter-of-factly, gazing at her now-husband, who’s talking to Taehyun. Judging by how pink Soobin’s ears are, Taehyun’s definitely teasing him about crying at the altar.

“That’s not true,” you refute. “You and Soobin are so couple-y. It’s just that you two are always busy. Soobin’s a doctor, you’re always working on your design projects at home. Whenever you two are free, you’re the most PDA-packed couple I know.”

Chaewon rolls her eyes, feigning annoyance as you stifle a laugh. “You know like 2 couples.”

“Wrong, I know 3. Ricky and Wonyoung, over there.” you say, pointing the new couple out to Chaewon, who’s eyes widen. “Oh, right! They just went on a romantic trip to Paris too. When will you and Jungwon do that?” she asks you, lightly nudging you with her elbow.

“I don’t know,” you hum, gazing at Jungwon with a soft smile on your lips. “Maybe someday. Someday soon, before I have to end it. But I’m content with where we are right now. It’s just him and I… and everything is… good. Life is good, he is good, I am good.”

Chaewon recognises that look in your eye. Love.

She remembers you asking her what falling in love feels like. Chaewon had told you that it felt like feeling so much joy to the point where you felt like your heart would explode. She guesses that you understand what that feeling is now.

“You’re in love.” she muses, a smile spreading across her lips.

You look at Jungwon, and he looks at you. Your heart thumps in your chest as he flashes you that dazzling smile that you’re greeted by every morning. Thump, thump, thump. Your heartbeat matches the rhythm of his.

“I suppose I am.”

ELEVEN.

There are some days when you feel weaker than usual.

Today is one of those days. You wake up next to Jungwon, and you just feel fragile, as if your bones could shatter if you were just nudged gently. You just feel tired.

“Morning, my love.” he says, when you turn over to face him. You smile at the petname, and Jungwon gives you a quick kiss. “I’ll go get your medicine.” he tells you, getting out of bed.

You feel like the luckiest person alive to have someone like Yang Jungwon in your life. He returns with a glass of water and your medication, handing the pill to you as you sit yourself up on the bed, back against the headboard. You take the pill from him gratefully, washing it down with the glass of water he had given you.

“Do you have to go to work today?” you ask him, tugging on the edge of his shirt, motioning for him to climb back into bed with you. He does, pulling the blanket over his body and wrapping his arms around you. “Yes, unfortunately so.” he replies, and you frown.

“Don’t be sad. I’ll meet you for lunch, you can write your book here, spend the day with Maeumi if you’d like.” he tells you, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. You smile at his gesture, and Jungwon swears that with every smile you flash him — he falls more and more in love with you.

“I’ll probably stay at home. Not feeling very… me today, if that makes sense.” you tell him, and it’s now Jungwon’s turn to frown. “Did something happen?” he asks you, and you shake your head.

“No,” you reply. “Just tired and… I don’t know.”

“What do you not know?” he asks you, and you think perhaps you should open up to him just a little. You’ve been hiding fears from him for all this time because you don’t want him to find out your illness is incurable — but you know that Jungwon can tell when something’s wrong with you. You don’t want to leave him in the dark more than you already have been, considering you’re not telling him that you’re dying.

“I feel weak. This sickness is… tiring and draining. Everyone around me seems to feel the need to take care of me and I know you keep telling me that I shouldn’t think of myself this way but… I just feel like I’m burdening everyone.” you confess. Jungwon hugs you a little tighter after you tell him.

“You are ill, (Name). People who care about you will try to do their best to make you feel as comfortable as you can be. Don’t think that they’re doing it out of obligation — they do it out of love. I do it out of love,” Jungwon says, and his words bring tears to your eyes. Jungwon notices, and he wipes your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “I love you, and I am here for whatever you need. You will never be a burden to me. I’ve told you this many times, and I will tell you it again and again.”

You just realised that this is the first time Jungwon’s ever told you he loves you. You can’t help but suddenly smile, even though there are tears rolling down your cheeks. “What’s with the sudden smile, my love?” Jungwon asks — but he’s not complaining. He loves to see your smile, its brightness could rival the sun’s.

“You just told me that you loved me for the first time.” you say, and Jungwon nods.

“I did,” Jungwon replies. “I love you.”

You press your lips to his in a sweet kiss, and you can’t stop the goofy, lovesick grin that appears on your face when you pull away. “I love you too, Jungwon.”

“Everything will be just fine, my love. We’ll go see the cherry blossoms every year. You do say you like them a lot. Plus, you compare yourself to them quite often.” he reassures you.

Every year, as in only 5 more years. But Jungwon doesn’t know that.

“I compare myself to them because just like them, I am fragile.” you say, and Jungwon shakes his head. “No. That is one quality of the cherry blossom that you do not possess. I compare you to them, because just like the flowers, you are beautiful. More beautiful than the flowers, in fact.”

Your cheeks feel hot at Jungwon’s words, burying your face in his neck out of shyness. Your boyfriend chuckles, patting your back. “You will get better in no time, (Name). I know it.”

Your heart aches knowing that you don’t think you’ll be able to get better before a cure is properly made for your illness. You want more days, more months, more years.

You found your reason to live, but now your life is slipping away.

You smile at him. You hope he doesn’t know it’s a sad smile. “Yes. You’re right,” you try to hide the shakiness of your voice, praying that he doesn’t ask if anything’s wrong — you know how attentive he is, especially towards you. “I will get better.”

She’s wasting his time. Your aunt’s voice rings in your head, and you find that she has replaced the demons that constantly haunt you.

But when Jungwon presses his lips to yours once again, that voice disappears. All is well. The silence isn’t strange, or weird at all. Jungwon runs his hand up and down your back, and his touch is comforting.

“You better get dressed before you’re late to work.” you whisper against his lips. “Maybe I’ll call in sick today.” he replies, a cheeky smile on his lips. He kisses you again, before crawling out of bed. You sit back up, a smile on your lips as you watch Jungwon disappear into the bathroom.

On the days where you feel weak, there are times where Jungwon is able to make you feel as if you are invincible. As if you’re able to take on whatever life throws at you, despite your illness draining the life out of you day by day.

You remain in bed while Jungwon gets ready to go to work, your laptop perched on your lap as you type your book up. “I have to go now. I will see you at lunch, my love.” he bids you goodbye with another sweet kiss.

“See you,” you call out. “I love you.”

Jungwon looks back at you. “I love you too.”

TWELVE.

You have a doctor’s appointment today.

Jungwon insists on coming with you, but you tell him that you’ll be fine. Chaewon is going with you, and so are your parents. Plus, it’s only a check up anyways. And, Jungwon is getting pretty busy with a new case of his — you don’t want him to have any distractions.

You head into the hospital, the place that you could somewhat consider a second home. There was a period of time where you spent months here, surrounded by white walls, white curtains and the constant beeping of the machines that used to terrify you when you were younger.

Now, these beeping noises are no longer terrifying — they are familiar, they are normal. These white walls and white curtains are things that you have grown accustomed to.

You sit on the hospital bed, Chaewon sitting by your side as she sketches out new designs in her sketchbook. “That’s a nice dress,” you say, taking a peek of what she’s drawing, and she looks up at you. “I’d buy it.”

Chaewon holds up the book to show you it so you can see the design a bit more clearly. “Really? I feel like it looks a little bland,” she frowns. It’s a short black dress with unique sleeves — simple, but classy. “You have the sleeves. It’s not bland.”

“Hmm. I’ll take your word for it,” she says gladly, and you nod. You revert your focus back onto your book — you can’t seem to find the right words to describe the boring, empty 5 years before you met Jungwon. It was a meaningless 5 years, which is why you don’t feel like there’s much to say.

“Do you think Soobin has made any progress about the cure for my condition?” you suddenly ask Chaewon, who places her pencil down on her lap. “I’m not so sure, (Name). Are you curious?”

Chaewon notices how there seems to be a slight glimmer of hope in your eyes. “Yes,” you reply. Your sister has never seen you so interested or so full of hope when it comes to curing your illness — she thought you had given up. Or at least that’s what you had always said to her. “I am… holding out hope, just as you are.”

“Why the sudden change in perspective? Not that I’m complaining.” Chaewon asks, and you shrug.

“I want to live.”

If this cure works, you don’t just get 5 cherry blossom seasons with Jungwon. You get much, much more. And you get more time with your sister, and you two could maybe finally tick off those boxes on your shared bucket list. You could finally see your book be published, and fulfil your childhood dream of becoming an author.

Your sister knows why you are hopeful. You want more time to be with Jungwon. Ever since you met him again, she’s noticed how you don’t find life to be dull, meaningless, and boring — you now allow yourself to enjoy it. You allow yourself to find joy in the littlest of things, in the silliest of things.

You have asked her to go out with you more, often bringing up the bucket list that you two made. “Let’s complete the ones we can complete!” you tell her, and Chaewon had never been so overjoyed to hear such words come out of your mouth.

You finally seem to understand how vibrant, how beautiful and how worthwhile life can be. You are making the most out of the 5 years that you have left — and despite how Chaewon does find the change in your perspective about life a little sudden, she’s not complaining. Your fears seem to have disappeared entirely, and you haven’t been talking about your impending doom for a while now.

Because over the past few months, you realise that your life is something that you don’t want to end so quickly. You’ve been insanely lucky to know people like Jungwon, Chaewon, Minji and Wonyoung in your life — you suppose people who get too lucky in one aspect of life will sometimes be extremely unlucky in another.

Your longtime doctor, Doctor Lee, walks into the room, holding a clipboard. Soobin follows her into the room, and he greets Chaewon with a wide smile.

“Well, nothing about your condition has changed since the last time you came, (Name). Have you been feeling alright?” Doctor Lee asks you.

“Yes, I’ve been feeling fine. My medication is helping, I think.” you say, smiling brightly at your doctor.

Doctor Lee has never seen you this happy — well, to be fair, it is a hospital. Most people are not exactly overjoyed to be here, but the usual frown plastered on your lips is replaced with a bright smile.

“You seem hopeful.” Doctor Lee knows that you had accepted that you were going to pass soon. You didn’t seem interested in prolonging your life at all, didn’t seem interested in seeing if there was some sort of cure out there — he had thought you had given up hope entirely.

Chaewon looks at the doctor. “She is.”

“That is good,” Doctor Lee says. You don’t notice the subtle look that Soobin gives Chaewon to tell her to follow him outside. “Stay hopeful.”

Chaewon tells you that she’ll speak to Soobin outside for a quick moment, and you nod, returning your focus to your laptop, typing on the keyboard.

I was 22 when I first felt hope that I would be able to live longer than the 10 years that I was given. I had totally given up, really, when I first got my diagnosis. All hope was crushed when I heard the news, and somehow, 5 years later — I had found that hope again.

You don’t know that outside your hospital room, Soobin and Doctor Lee have to crush that hope that you had just found.

“It didn’t work?” Chaewon asks in disbelief. Soobin had worked days, and nights in order to develop this trial medicine — only for everyone to find out that it hadn’t worked. “I’m sorry, Chae.”

“Keep trying.”

Doctor Lee sighs. “Chaewon, we—“

“You promised.” she says, cutting Doctor Lee off. Your sister looks at the two of them with teary eyes, and Soobin reaches a hand out to comfort her. “You promised that you would do whatever it took to cure my sister. (Name) finally believes that you two could do something — that there would be a cure, and you’re telling me that you want to give up?”

“We don’t want to give up. We just have to find… another way. And that other way might take a lot of time… time that (Name) does not have.” Doctor Lee says, and Chaewon clenches her fists in frustration.

“I have… so much that I have yet to do with (Name). We haven’t even gone travelling together. No concerts, no fun moments after her diagnosis. I have spent hundreds and thousands of days in these rooms, surrounded by white walls, white curtains, worrying that she could die any minute, and waiting for answers on whether someone will be able to help her live. I have always held out hope, and I am not going to lose that hope now. Not when she has just found that hope too. 5 years is enough time. Say it will be enough.”

Soobin sighs, looking at Doctor Lee hesitantly. “I cannot guarantee anything, Chaewon. I am sorry.” Doctor Lee replies, looking down at her shoes.

Chaewon looks at Soobin, tears brimming in her eyes. It pains Soobin to see her like this. His heart aches, it burns — he really wished that the medicine had worked. “Say it. Soobin, please.”

“I… it will be enough.”

THIRTEEN.

It has been nearly a year since you met Jungwon again in the park.

Time flies much faster than you’d like for it to, and it reminds you that the end for you is approaching. Your days seemed to take forever to pass by when you were spending your days at home, cooped up inside — but now when you’re with Jungwon, your days seem to pass by so much quicker.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.” Jungwon says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. He hands you a bouquet of pink flowers, which you gladly accept. There’s a wide smile on your lips as you look at the flowers,

“I would’ve gotten you cherry blossoms, but — it’s hard to put them in bouquets.” Jungwon tells you, and you shake your head. “No, it’s alright. I love them.”

“I also have another gift for you. Well, I have many gifts, but this one’s a fun one,” he hands you a pink box, with your name written on it in cursive. “Open it.”

Inside the box is a white wig. Two white wigs, in fact.

You’re very confused as to why Jungwon would give you two white wigs for Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t Halloween — but you still wouldn’t really understand being gifted white wigs on Halloween anyways. You look at him with a perplexed expression as Jungwon tries to stifle a loud laugh.

“What’s this?” you ask, picking up one of the wigs. “Why'd you give me 2 white wigs?”

“Well, it’s a long story. I came up with it after Ricky told me something the other day,” Jungwon says, sitting down on the couch, patting the seat next to him, motioning for you to sit down beside him. “Ricky told me about this Chinese idiom the other day.”

Jungwon copy pastes the characters from Ricky’s text message into the Google search bar. You look at Jungwon, confused as to what this idiom means.

“It means to grow old together, healthily and happily, until our hair’s all white.” Jungwon fiddles with the wig, and you didn’t know a gesture so silly could hold so much… meaning. “Me giving this to you means that I want to grow old with you, until our hair’s all white. Hence the white wigs.”

You feel like crying.

Jungwon sees the tears fall from your eye, and he looks at you in alarm. “(Name), why are you crying?”

“I don’t know,” you say, as you let Jungwon wipe your tears away with the pad of his thumbs. “The whole… growing old with you thing. The white wigs are so… stupid, so funny — but the meaning behind it is so sweet. You’re too sweet.”

But you do know why you’re crying, you just cannot tell him. You won’t be able to grow old with him, healthily and happily. You are but just a small chapter in Jungwon’s life, perhaps a very important one, but a small one nevertheless.

5 years is very short when you consider how long the average human lifespan is — you and Jungwon only have 5 years.

5 years to live, 5 years to love.

You won’t be able to see Jungwon’s hair go as white as these wigs. Jungwon won't be able to see your hair in that state too, because by the time that rolls around — you’d have been gone for years and years. He might’ve even forgotten about you.

“They do look quite funny, don’t they?” Jungwon takes the other wig out of the box, putting it on his head. You laugh at how he looks with the white wig on — he’s put it on terribly, his natural dark brown hair peeking out from the bottom. “This is what I’m going to look like when I’m old. This is a preview.”

You smile. “We need to draw some wrinkles onto your face.”

“I’m gonna put the other one on for you.”Jungwon says, taking the wig out of your hands, and placing it on your head. He’s put the wig on just as badly, and he giggles at how you look with the white wig on.

“What, do I look bad?”

“No, (Name). You are very pretty. Too pretty, in fact. Even with my horrible wig application skills, you are still gorgeous,” he says, hand caressing your cheek. Your heart melts at his words, and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. “You’ll always be gorgeous to me.”

“Even when I’m old and wrinkly?” you ask him, even though you know he’ll never see you when you’re old and wrinkly. Your life ends in 5 years, not in 50 years, or more.

“Even when you’re old and wrinkly.” he affirms. “Like I said… I want to grow old with you. We can be old and wrinkly together.”

As much as you want to be old and wrinkly with Jungwon, you feel as if it might be impossible. The last time you went to the hospital, you saw Chaewon returning into your room with teary eyes after a conversation with Soobin and Doctor Lee.

That is never a good sign.

You want to hope that you’ll get more time. But realistically… you feel as if your time is running out faster than ever before.

Jungwon will continue with his life. He will get to 30, 40, 50, 60, and so on. You, however — will only make it to 27.

Fate is cruel. You know that better than anyone. Fate tears your opportunity of finding your very own happily ever after, with Jungwon. Fate tears away the opportunity for you and Chaewon to check off every little box on that bucket list. Fate tears away the chance for you to grow old and wrinkly with Jungwon, white hair and all.

So you suppose seeing him with this white wig on will suffice. The wig is terribly applied, and when you first saw him with it on, you couldn’t resist laughing. But the more you look at him with the wig on, you can’t help but realise that this is your closest chance of seeing Jungwon old, wrinkly and white-haired.

Jungwon doesn’t know it, but this is also his closest chance of seeing you old, wrinkly and white-haired.

“You want to grow old with me?” you murmur.

“Of course I do. I love you,” Jungwon looks at you with the softest look in his eyes, and you can’t help but smile at him.

You want to grow old with him too. It’s a shame that you don’t think you’ll be able to.

“Do you want to grow old with me?”

“Yeah. Of course I do,” you reply, and Jungwon lets out a relieved sigh. “What, did you think I was going to respond differently?”

“No — I was just… I don’t know. Maybe it was too soon to tell you that I want to spend forever with you.” Jungwon rests his head on your shoulder, and you fiddle with the hairs of the white wig on his head.

“It’s not too soon. I want to spend forever with you too, Won.”

If your forever with Jungwon has to be 5 years, you decide that you’ll make it the best 5 years.

FOURTEEN.

The first cherry blossom season you spend with Jungwon as a couple rolls around.

The flowers are in full bloom, and as you and Jungwon walk around the park, hand in hand, the boy next to you can’t help but notice how your eyes widen in awe at the sight above.

Sure, you see these magnificent flowers each year, but every year, the sight of them gets more and more spectacular. It is as if the cherry blossoms are putting on a show for you — perhaps during the last cherry blossom season you’ll see in your lifetime, they will look even more splendid, even more grand and magnificent than they were in the previous years.

“Do you want a picture with the flowers?” Jungwon asks you, and you nod, handing him your camera. He tells you to stand in front of one of the trees as you smile brightly at the camera. The sight of your smile makes Jungwon’s heart race.

“You look pretty,” he hums, when you run back over to him to look at the photo. Your cheeks feel hot at his compliments, and Jungwon looks at your flustered face with a small smile. “What? It’s true.”

You tell Jungwon that you’ll take a photo of him, and he flashes a peace sign at the camera. You snap the photo, and right after, Jungwon bends down to pick up a cherry blossom flower that’s fallen to the pavement, still perfectly intact.

He walks up to you, tucking the delicate flower behind your ear. Just like he did during the second time you had met him at this park. Warmth blooms across your chest, and you can’t stop the giddy smile from spreading across your lips.

“Let me find one for you,” you tell him, taking his hand in yours. “We can match.”

You and Jungwon walk around the park, and now you realise that you two are one of the happy couples that you used to envy. You remember that you knew you would never be able to experience a love like they did – but you were wrong.

Now you understand what it’s like to love.

Falling in love could be the most complicated thing in the world – it is even more complicated for you, considering all the doubts and all the fears you had before you decided to give love a chance. But Jungwon makes falling in love easy.

Falling in love with Jungwon seems like the simplest thing in the world. As if it is natural, as if it was destined to happen.

You doubted if you could make him happy. You doubted if you were wasting his time – but never once had you doubted your feelings for him.

You think that you probably fell for him the minute you saw him again in the park, when Maeumi bumped into you. After that first meeting, even as you returned home, he was stuck in the back of your mind.

You still remember when he drunkenly told you that he thought you were pretty. You bring it up often, and Jungwon just replies with: “I knew what I was saying when I told you that.” Even after nearly a year of dating, Jungwon is still able to make you feel like you’ve fallen in love with him for the first time ever.

The birds are chirping, the cherry blossom petals are falling, and your hand is in Jungwon’s. Everything is right. The scenery is beautiful, and the boy walking beside you is even more beautiful. You remind him of it, and his cheeks go as pink as the vibrant blossoms up above.

You finally find a perfectly intact cherry blossom flower that’s fallen to the floor, and you pick it up with a big grin. “Look!” you tuck the flower behind Jungwon’s ear, and he lets out a soft chuckle. “Now we’re matching.”

“Yes, we are.” Jungwon replies, swinging your arms back and forth. Unconsciously, a smile makes its way onto your lips. It’s funny, considering how you didn’t smile often before you met Jungwon. People have noticed how you’ve seemed much happier, much more carefree.

“Do you remember what you told me the first time we were here alone? When Maeumi wasn’t here,” Jungwon suddenly asks, and you tilt your head, awaiting his answer. “You told me that you like cherry blossoms. Then, I asked you why. You told me that they’re beautiful, but don’t last very long, which is why you find them interesting. You said they feel familiar.”

You remember. Of course you remember.

“Then, I told you that I felt that their existence being short-lived allowed people to appreciate and admire them more. To cherish them more, to hold them dear.” he recounts, as you two walk further into the park.

“Mhm,” you say. Jungwon still hasn’t caught on to the fact that you said they felt familiar because just like their existence, yours will be short-lived too.

“You then said that they were beautiful. I agreed, but really, I was just looking at you.” he says, suddenly feeling shy as you smile.

“You have loved me for a long time. Ever since 7th grade, wasn’t it?” you ask, and Jungwon nods. “I’m surprised you even waited that long for me.”

“I’m very happy I waited.” Jungwon replies. “Because now, I get to spend every single day with you, the love of my life. We’ll get more of these cherry blossom seasons, won’t we? We’ll come here even when we’re old and wrinkly, with our hair as white as those wigs.”

“Yes,” you say, a slight hint of sadness in your tone. “More cherry blossom seasons.”

“30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons. We can see them all. Like you said, every year they seem to get prettier, right?” Your heart can’t help but melt at Jungwon seemingly already knowing that you are the one for him — but… 30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons are something that is simply unattainable for you.

“They do get prettier every year.” you hum.

“That’s good. I did tell you that I wanted to spend every cherry blossom season with you by my side, didn’t I?”

“You did. We can have 30, 40, 50 and more cherry blossom seasons,” you lie, and your heart hurts as you say those words — you’ve lied one too many times to Jungwon.

Then, you tell him another lie.

“We can have as many as you’d like.”

FIFTEEN.

You and Jungwon have now shared 3 cherry blossom seasons together.

Time is running out. The fourth cherry blossom season is about to roll around, and you know that you’re feeling weaker already. Hospital check-ups have been more frequent, you’ve spent more time at home lately, and you’ve been prescribed with a different medication.

Spending more time at home has allowed for you to have more time to work on your book, which is making good progress. You wrote about the times where you fell more and more in love with Jungwon, you wrote about how you were finally able to tick off some of the boxes on your bucket list with Chaewon, and you wrote about how you’re feeling, as your final 5 years are starting to come to a close.

You try to hide how you’re getting weaker day by day from Jungwon. You’re not sure if it’s working, but he hasn’t mentioned anything about it.

You’ve got another hospital check-up today, and thankfully, Jungwon’s busy with another case. You sit on the hospital bed again, laptop perched on your lap as you continue typing up your book, the sound of the keyboard clicking resounding throughout the room.

“Have you told Jungwon yet?” Chaewon asks you, and you shake your head. “I can’t.” you reply, and your sister frowns.

“Why not? He’s your boyfriend of 3 years.”

“He would be crushed.” you reply. Chaewon doesn’t understand — in all honesty, she thought Jungwon knew all along that you only had 5 years left. She didn’t expect for him to only know that you were ill, and left thinking that your illness was curable.

“So you’ve been lying to him about your illness being curable?” Chaewon asks, and you sigh, closing the lid of your laptop.

“Not lying, per se,” you start, but then you remember the amount of times you’ve told him that you two could have a forever. 30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons. “More so… hiding? I just don’t want to tell him.”

“Why?”

“I finally have… some sense of normalcy. Whenever I’m with Jungwon, I don’t feel like a helpless sick person. I finally have someone who I’m close to, someone who I love — who doesn’t see me as just my illness. He doesn’t know that I’m dying, he treats me as if I’m not dying — that is what I want. I want normalcy, I want to live life as if I don’t know that any second now, death will be knocking on my front door. And, Jungwon knowing would absolutely break him. He’s loved me since 7th grade — I can’t… I can’t tell him now.”

“He’s going to hurt more if you break up with him out of the blue before you have to go. Why not tell him now, so he can prepare himself?”

“I…”

Your train of thought is broken when Doctor Lee walks into the room. Your doctor looks worried, upset, even. Her eyebrows are knitted together as she looks at her clipboard with a dejected look on her face.

“Doctor?” Chaewon asks. “What’s the matter?”

“(Name)… your condition seems to be getting worse. You did mention how you felt more tired lately, didn’t you?” she asks.

“Yes, I did mention that.”

“I’m afraid I have to tell you that you only have about a year left. Maybe even less.” she says, and you sit there, shell-shocked as you try to process the news.

Your 5 years have been cut into 4.

The realisation that this is your last year left just hits you, and the dam breaks. You let out a loud sob, and Doctor Lee’s never seen you like this before. Chaewon wraps her arms around you as you sob into her shoulder, trying to control herself from bursting into tears just like you are.

You thought you were prepared. You thought you were ready to go — but you’re not. You don’t want to accept that this is your fate anymore, but what can you do? You cannot fight this illness — it is a battle you cannot win.

“It’s okay, (Name). It’s okay.” Chaewon says, patting your back in an attempt to comfort you. “I don’t want to go,” you choke out between sobs, and Chaewon shakes her head, tears brimming her eyes.

“I don’t want you to go either.” your sister says.

“I want more life.”

“I know.” she says, patting your head gently. “I want you to have more life too.”

“Why me?” you sob, and Chaewon wipes your tears with the tissues sitting on the side of your bed. “I don’t know. I wish I knew. I wish it wasn’t you.” she replies, wiping her own tears with the corner of her sleeve.

Chaewon thought she had more time. She was prepared for 2 more years left with you — but now knowing you had 1 year, or maybe even less was heartbreaking. She knew she would lose you earlier on in life, but not this early. Not when you weren’t even 26.

“What about the treatment, Doctor Lee? The other way?” Chaewon asks, a sense of urgency in her voice. Doctor Lee only sighs, looking down at her shoes.

“1 year is… very little time to decide whether or not it’ll work. There is no guarantee, so…”

“A year is not enough. That is what you mean.” your sister says, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, (Name). I’m sorry, Chaewon. I wish we could’ve done more.” Doctor Lee leaves to give you both privacy.

“I thought I was ready.” you say, Chaewon trying her best to comfort you by patting your back lightly. “I’m… nowhere near ready. I don’t want to go. Please, Chae.”

You beg for Chaewon to do something, even though you know she can’t. No miracle medicine can save you now. The sand in the hourglass is running out, your time is ticking — and time flies fast.

“Do I have to tell Won?” you murmur, and Chaewon shakes her head, unsure of what advice to give you.

She thought she understood how hard it would be. But she could never imagine being put in your situation — dying, with the person you love not knowing that you’ll be gone within a year.

“I think… that is up for you to decide.”

SIXTEEN.

Jungwon meets up with Ricky for the first time in a couple of months.

Ricky’s never free anymore. His career has skyrocketed into success, and so has Wonyoung’s. But thankfully, Ricky’s able to make some time to see Jungwon just for a few hours before he’s off to another shoot.

Jungwon doesn’t know how he does it. Ricky was just in Milan a couple days ago — how is he not jet-lagged?

The two decide to meet at a coffee shop, one that they used to go to when they were both in high school. Ricky’s immediately noticeable, due to the expensive suit he’s wearing.

“It’s been ages, man.” Ricky says, and Jungwon nods. “It really has.” Jungwon replies, smiling.

“So, what have you been up to? Aside from… modelling.” Jungwon asks, and Ricky shrugs. “Spending time with Wonyoung. You know… 3 years, still going strong. I have to thank you and (Name) for getting us together, to be honest. We should do one of those double dates again sometime.” he replies, and Jungwon nods, agreeing.

“A hundred percent. We haven’t hung out as just us 4 in a while. I know (Name) meets up with Wonyoung and Minji occasionally.”

“So, how’s (Name)?” Ricky asks.

At the sound of your name, a lovesick grin immediately makes its way into Jungwon’s lips, and Ricky’s got that teasing, cat-like smirk plastered on his face at the sight of his friend’s expression. “Still whipped, aren’t you?”

“Even more than before, perhaps,” Jungwon replies. “I actually came to ask for your help.”

“Oh? What is it?” Ricky asks, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed.

“I need your help to help me choose a ring.”

Ricky immediately sits straight up in his chair, eyes widened as his jaw drops open. “You’re kidding! Engagement ring? Jungwon, are you planning to propose?”

Jungwon nods, a small smile on his lips. Ricky can’t resist pulling his friend in for a hug. “That’s crazy, oh my god! Well, not exactly, since you’ve been in love with her for like… forever, but oh my god. You’re going to be a married man.”

“I mean, I don’t know if she’s going to say yes...” Jungwon seems hesitant, and Ricky thinks that he has no reason to be. Ricky sees it in your eyes — you’re crazily in love with Jungwon, just as he is with you. There’s no way you won’t say yes.

“You, my friend — are very stupid. (Name) is one hundred percent going to say yes. She loves you so much! Maybe even too much. What ring do you have in mind?” Ricky asks, and Jungwon shrugs. He knows that he wants something to do with cherry blossoms. It’s what he could consider to be your thing. Those pink flowers are what suits you, and it’s something he knows that you love.

“Maybe like… cherry blossoms? Something related to that. She loves those flowers.”

Ricky nods. “Cherry blossoms. Hmm… that’s something that isn’t too common with engagement rings, but I’m sure we can find something. Or what about a pink diamond?”

Jungwon hums, nodding at Ricky’s suggestion. “I think she might like that.”

Ricky looks over at his friend, and he thinks that he’s never seen Jungwon this happy. He’s got a permanent smile plastered onto his lips, and he seems much more relaxed, much more carefree than before.

“Come on,” Ricky says. “Let’s go search for a ring.”

The two leave the coffee shop, making their way down the busy street. Ricky tells Jungwon about some of his modelling gigs, with Jungwon listening intently. “There’s a couple stores on this street,” Ricky says.

The first one the two boys go into has some nice rings — but Jungwon doesn’t think any of them particularly stand out to him, and none of them seem to suit you. There’s one that the shop assistant recommends to him, and Ricky thinks it’s a good choice, but Jungwon doesn’t want to get something that he knows you won’t love. The store also doesn’t sell pink diamond rings — Jungwon finds that he actually really likes Ricky’s suggestion.

“Thank you,” he tells the shop assistant politely. “I’ll just look around a couple other stores first.”

The second store has a couple good options. Ricky selects a few that he thinks looks nice, and thank god Jungwon decided to ask for Ricky’s help — he thinks that he’d be absolutely lost without him. There’s this one ring with a small pink diamond in the centre, and 2 other diamonds surrounding it. It looks nice, but Jungwon thinks that he would like for the pink diamond to be just a little bigger.

The third store is where Jungwon finds the perfect one.

He doesn’t even need Ricky’s help, either — he sees the ring in the display window, and Jungwon knows that it’s the one. There’s a round pink diamond in the centre, with smaller pink diamonds encircled around it, and then surrounded by white diamonds in a halo.

“Is that the one?” Ricky asks Jungwon, and he nods.

“I’ll take this one.”

“Of course, sir.” the shop assistant says, and Jungwon feels his heart beating faster than ever before. He’s bought the ring, he just needs a location, and… he just needs to pop the question.

“Are you nervous?” Ricky asks, and Jungwon nods — is he that jittery to the point where Ricky can tell? “Is it obvious?”

“I mean… to others, not really. But I’ve known you since high school, so yeah, it’s pretty obvious.” Ricky chuckles. “Look, you’ve got to relax. (Name) is going to say yes.”

“But what if she doesn’t? What if I’m rushing into things?”

“It’s been three years since you guys started dating. And (Name)’s crazily in love with you, I’ve told you this. Do you know how often Wonyoung tells me about how she gushes over you when they hangout? She loves you so much, Jungwon. Too much, even.” Jungwon feels a little less nervous after Ricky’s reassuring words, but that anxiousness comes back when the shop assistant returns.

“You can just pick up the ring next week. Are you in a hurry?”

“No, I’m not. Next week is perfect.” Jungwon replies.

“That’s good,” the shop assistant says. “We’ll see you next week then.”

Jungwon thanks them again, and he lets out a sigh. “I’m so scared.”

“You don’t have to be scared at all. She literally told you that she wanted to grow old and wrinkly with you — I think that’s very telling. Plus, your whole cherry blossom season thing. It’s so sickeningly cute. She will say yes. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Right, nothing to worry about. To more cherry blossom seasons with (Name).”

“As a married couple.” Ricky adds, and Jungwon laughs.

Little does Jungwon know, he does have something to worry about.

SEVENTEEN.

You don’t know what to do.

Your life is coming to an end, which means that you have to end it with Jungwon. You don’t want him to see you in hospital, with pale skin and an oxygen mask on.

Ever since you got told that your time would be cut short, once again, you’ve been racking your brain on how to break the news to Jungwon. You don’t want to let him go — but this is for the better, isn’t it?

You have cried so much during the past few weeks to the point where you’re not sure if you can even cry anymore.

You let yourself feel joy, happiness, and love when Jungwon is near — because you know that soon, all of those feelings will have to go away. You will never experience this type of love again when you end it with Jungwon.

You wake up earlier now, eyes scanning Jungwon’s features as he sleeps peacefully. You can’t help but smile when you look at him. He is so beautiful. So kind — everything you ever wanted and more. You brush his hair out of his eyes as you watch his chest rise and fall, rise and fall.

You want to burn the image of Jungwon’s face in your mind. Because after everything ends… you’ll never see him again.

“Good morning,” Jungwon says groggily, cracking one eye open. He notices you looking at him with the softest gaze in your eyes, and it brings a lovesick smile to his face. “You’re awake early.”

He kisses you good morning. You tell yourself to savour these small gestures while you still can.

Soon, you will never be able to see Jungwon again. Never be able to hold him, never be able to hug him, never be able to kiss him again.

You pull him closer to you, and Jungwon’s startled at your sudden action. “You’re clingy this morning,” he chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You cup his cheeks with your hands, pressing a kiss to his lips. You kiss him with such longing, even though you two have not been separated yet. You kiss him like it’s the last time you ever will.

Jungwon senses that there’s something different. The kiss is passionate, like every other one of your kisses. But this kiss feels like an apology.

You try not to let that tear slip from your eye. “Are you okay?” Jungwon asks you, when you two pull away. You nod, as Jungwon runs his hand up and down your back. His touch is gentle as always, and you hate how all of this has to end.

“I love you.” you tell him, and Jungwon smiles softly at you. “I love you too, (Name).”

And you kiss him again. You want to kiss him as many times as you can, because you know that you don’t have that many chances left. You have less than a year left, and you know a good half of that time will be spent in the hospital, with an oxygen mask over your face.

Your relationship with Jungwon has gone too fast for your liking. Why couldn’t time go slower? Why couldn’t the universe give you more days, more months, more hours with Jungwon?

You have to tell him. You have to tell him sometime soon.

Would it be too cruel to tell him before the cherry blossom season?

Ending it then is too soon for you. Everything is too soon. Your relationship ending, your impending death, all too soon.

In a different life, perhaps things could be different. You wouldn’t be sick, and you and Jungwon could spend the rest of your lives together, until you two were both old, wrinkly and white-haired. You could spend 30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons with him.

You two could get married. Have a ceremony like Chaewon and Soobin’s, invite all your friends, and your family. You two could start a family.

But none of that is possible.

Regardless, you are grateful for your time with Jungwon. Your little forever with him. 5 years is a short time for a forever, but you suppose it is one nevertheless.

He taught you what it’s like to love someone. Unconditionally.

Every second, every minute, every hour you spend with Jungwon by your side is something that you would consider magical. Perhaps maybe because you got so unlucky with your fate, the universe had sent him to you.

To make things better, before they got worse. To let you experience the one thing you thought you could never experience — love.

You didn’t expect to fall hard for Yang Jungwon. But it was easy to. With his bright smile, cat-like eyes and his heart of gold. He is too good to you. He is too good to everyone.

You can’t believe you never took much notice of him back in Grade 7, when Jungwon was already helplessly infatuated with you. You wished you had loved him earlier. You would’ve had more time with him, then.

More time to hold him, more time to kiss him, more time to love him. But now it is all too late, you are fading away, and he doesn’t know it.

You find that you are the luckiest person in the world, because you have had the privilege of being loved by Yang Jungwon.

The person he finds after you leave this earth, turning to nothing but stardust, will be exceptionally lucky too. Perhaps even more than you, because they get to spend that forever you never could have with Jungwon.

They get those 30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons. They don’t need white wigs, because they will be able to grow old and wrinkly together. They will get their forever, a proper one, not one that lasts only 4 years.

That person should love Jungwon with their entire heart and soul. Because when Jungwon loves, he loves hard. He puts 110% into the relationship, maybe even more.

You smile at Jungwon once again, thumb stroking his cheek.

Yang Jungwon is your first love, and he will also be your last.

EIGHTEEN.

Your final cherry blossom season arrives.

A flurry of pink petals cascade down to the pavement, welcoming you with open arms. You smile, trying to stop yourself from thinking about how you don’t have much more time to see these magnificent flowers again.

You and Jungwon go see the cherry blossoms at night this time. They’ve installed lights around the trees, and you think seeing the cherry blossoms at night might be prettier than in the day.

You and Jungwon are the only ones here.

The park is quiet, and as you admire the beautiful cherry blossoms illuminated by the light, Jungwon nervously fiddles with the velvet box in his pocket.

Is this the right time?

He’s not exactly dressed for the occasion, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. You’re dressed similarly, but Jungwon thinks you’re gorgeous regardless of what you wear.

He takes the ring with him everywhere.

He doesn’t know when he knows it’ll be the right time — he supposes that he’ll just get that… feeling. Of knowing when it’s right.

“Jungwon, look! It’s so pretty.” you say, and he nods. “Very pretty,” he says, looking at you.

This time, you notice. He’s looking at you instead of the flowers. He always is. “What?” you ask, suddenly feeling shy under his gaze.

“Nothing,” Jungwon says, taking his hand out of his pocket. He leaves the box inside. “You’re pretty.”

Your heart would usually race at his words. But this time, it aches. It aches because you won’t be able to hear him say that everyday anymore. It aches because this is one of the last times where you’ll get to see the cherry blossom with Jungwon. It aches because everything is coming to an end.

All good things must come to an end, people say. But your end comes too soon, too quickly. Often, people can make good things last a little longer. They can hold on.

What can you hold onto to make things last?

Nothing. There is nothing.

You held out hope for a cure, but you don’t have much time left. You have no lifeline, nothing to save you. Nothing to make your relationship with Jungwon last, and nothing to make your life last.

“You are pretty too.” you tell him. You don’t know how many times you have left to tell him that.

Under the cherry blossom trees, illuminated by the lights, Jungwon pulls you in for a kiss. His lips are warm against yours, and you can taste the flavour of the cherry lip balm that he often uses. You sometimes steal it from him to use it yourself.

It is just you and him, nobody else around you both.

This is not how Jungwon had planned for the proposal to go. But he feels like… now would be a good time. That little voice in his head tells him — you should do it. He wants to do it. He wants to become your fiancée.

He has loved you since the 7th grade. He wants to spend the rest of his life with you. He’s known this ever since he kissed you for the first time.

You two pull away, and Jungwon looks at you with a hesitant look on his face. He looks like he’s dying to tell you something, and you look at him expectantly. He fiddles with something in his pocket, and you really hope he doesn’t do what you think he’s going to do.

“(Name), I… I have something to ask you.” You’ve never heard Jungwon this nervous. Even his voice is shaky — he sounds even more nervous than that day in the park, before you had collapsed.

He pulls out a small box. Your heart stops.

You can’t tell him no. You don’t want to tell him no.

But you have to.

You are dying — he wants to marry you, but you will die before a ceremony will be able to take place, before you two will be able to do things that married couples do, and before you two will be able to grow old and wrinkly together.

He gets down on one knee.

You try to not burst into tears before he says anything. You only look at him with your mouth agape, your heart shattered to pieces. How are you supposed to tell him?

“I… didn’t intend on doing this now,” he starts, letting out a deep breath. “But I feel… maybe this is the right time.”

“I love you. A lot. Being able to love you, and being able to be loved by you makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. And I just know that you’re the only person that I’ll be able to love — in this lifetime, and every single one that follows. So… would you marry me? Would you want to spend every cherry blossom season with me?”

You let the corners of your lips curl up into a grin. Jungwon wants to take that as a yes. You look at the ring — it’s beautiful, and you want nothing more than to say yes. Because you want to marry Yang Jungwon, you really do.

But there is not enough time.

“Won… I…”

You move closer to him, and Jungwon gets up. Is this a yes? He doesn’t know. You only wrap him in a hug, burying your face into the crook of his neck. Then, he hears you let out a soft sob, and he looks at you in alarm.

With his free hand, the one that’s not holding the ring, he runs his hand up and down your back to comfort you. “I’m sorry.” you choke out between sobs.

You look at the box — you don’t want to look at him. You know he’s got the most dejected look on his face, and you can’t bear the thought of knowing that you caused it. You take his hand, the one that’s holding the ring, and you close the box.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Won.”

Jungwon doesn’t understand. Maybe you weren’t ready to say yes yet. But he saw that smile on your face after — was there something you weren’t telling him?

“Don’t be sorry. I understand. We can take our time.” he says, trying to hide the sadness in his voice. It’s okay, he tells himself. Maybe just not now. Maybe later is a better time anyways.

“The thing is… we don’t have time.”

You accidentally let those words slip. You didn’t mean to tell him now — you look at Jungwon’s expression, and he looks at you with the most confused look on his face. “What do you mean we don’t have time?”

Are you going to break up with him? Jungwon hurriedly shoves the velvet box back in his pocket.

“Did I do something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?” he asks you, and you shake your head, tears rolling down your cheeks — Jungwon wants nothing more than to wipe those tears away for you, but he doesn’t know if you want him to.

“No. You didn’t. You’ve made me the happiest person in the past few years.” you smile sadly at him, and Jungwon gets the feeling that you need to tell him something too. Something important.

“Then what’s wrong?”

“You’ve done nothing wrong. You never did anything wrong. It’s all my fault.” you say, and Jungwon shakes his head. “No, no — what makes you say that?”

“I’ve been lying to you. All this time.”

“What?”

“It’s an incurable disease.”

Jungwon’s entire world falls apart at the sound of those 4 words. What do you mean it’s incurable? Surely there is some sort of cure, some sort of treatment that can save you — with all the new technological advancements, something must be able to be done.

“So… I can’t… be with you.”

Jungwon’s world doesn’t just fall apart now. He feels like he’s falling apart too. The news is like a knife to his heart. He didn’t know that 6 words could leave him so broken — he’s surprised that he hasn’t fallen to his knees yet, or passed out.

He wishes that he would pass out. So then he’d wake up in the real world, and this would all be just a dream. You would wake up by his side, not sick and you two would be happily spending the rest of your lives together.

He pinches himself. It hurts. It’s real. Everything is real.

“I’m sorry, Won.” your heart hurts at the sight of Jungwon crying. You’ve never seen him cry before. Everything can’t end like this. “There must be something the doctors can do — Soobin. Soobin must know.” he says, shaking his head.

“He’s tried… he has tried for a very long time, Won. Nobody has lived past 10 years. I hoped that maybe I would be able to… but it looks like that it’s unlikely. Impossible, even.”

Jungwon doesn’t get it. Out of everyone who could’ve gotten this… terrible, terrible illness — it just had to be you. Now it all made sense as to why you were never in school, your initial refusal to accept his confession. You were scared.

“Why you?” he manages to choke out.

“I asked myself that a lot too. Why me? I don’t know, Won. 10 years seems like such a long time… but when it’s all you have left… it’s suddenly so short. I spent the first 5 years wallowing in self-pity, refusing to go outside and experience life. Then, I met you.” you let yourself smile, even though everything you’re saying is sad. Jungwon looks at you with tears in his eyes, and you step closer to him, taking his hand in yours.

“Everyday with you…was so much fun. I felt like I wasn’t dying, whenever you were around — it was just you and me, and that illness just seemed to disappear. Like it never existed in the first place. You… showed me what it’s like to really live. You taught me what it’s like to love, what it’s like to be loved — you brought meaning into my life.”

“But Jungwon… if I stay with you any longer, I’ll be too scared to die.”

And hearing those words makes Jungwon unable to hold in the sob he’s been suppressing. You can hear the pain in his voice, and this is exactly what you feared. Hurting him.

“I love you, (Name).” Jungwon manages to say, in between sobs. “Isn’t that enough?”

“I wish it was. I really wish it was.”

You wrap your arms around Jungwon, letting him sob into your shoulder. Everything hurts, for the both of you. Your hearts both feel empty.

“Thank you, Jungwon. For loving me, and letting me love you.”

“No,” Jungwon sobs. “This can’t end like this, (Name) — we had so much more to do. We had… we were supposed to have more time.”

“Jungwon, after I go, you’ll have to move on. I know that’s easier said than done but… I won’t be here. Go find someone new, someone who treats you just as well as you’ll treat them. Someone who loves Maeumi, someone who’s a terrific chef, just like you, someone who laughs at all your jokes. Go find the one for you.

“I don’t want to move on. You’re the one for me, (Name). I told you — you’re the only one I want to love. You’re the first person I’ve ever loved, and you’re going to be the last. Nobody can compare to you.” Jungwon doesn’t want to let you go. He can’t let you go.

“Jungwon, they’ll be able to give you everything that I never could. They can give you 30, 40, 50 more cherry blossom seasons — they can give you the life that you’ve always pictured having. They can give you a forever.”

“I don’t want a forever without you in it.”

You break apart from the hug to look at Jungwon with tears brimming in your eyes. “We have our forever. Our 4 years. Our little forever. It’s short, but we can call it a forever, can we not?”

You try your best to smile at him, brushing his hair out of his eyes. You hate that you’re the one making him this upset. You hate that you’ve just completely shattered his heart, and you’re leaving him to pick up the pieces all by himself.

“Our little forever.” He repeats after you, and you smile at him. “It should be longer. It shouldn’t have to be little — forevers aren’t meant to be little, (Name).”

“I know they aren’t.” Jungwon wraps you in his arms, your voice muffled by the soft fabric of his hoodie. He holds you tight, as if you’ll turn to dust if he lets go. “Ours just unfortunately has to be.”

“I am just a… small chapter in the story of your life. But I hope that I was a meaningful one. So please, Won. Go live.”

“I don’t want to,” You gently pat his back to comfort him — but you know it doesn’t work. Nothing can help stop you both from hurting. Jungwon has never sounded this broken. He is the type of person who wouldn’t ever show it if he was falling apart, and here he is, in front of you, legs weak, voice hoarse and his heart empty. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.”

“Please. I have to start preparing to die, Jungwon. Just tell me you’ll go live.” you tell him — you don’t want to start crying again, because then you won’t be able to leave.

You don’t want to leave, but you have to. With this illness draining the life out of you, there’s many things that you have to do even though you don’t want to do them at all.

Jungwon doesn’t say anything. His sobs are not an answer, and you know that.

“Please. It’s my last wish.” you murmur.

Jungwon knows he should fulfil your last wish. Even thinking about saying those words pains him. It drives the knife in his chest even deeper, and this pain consumes him — he can feel it in every inch of his body.

Jungwon lets out a shaky breath. “I… will go live.”

You smile at him, with such love and adoration in your eyes — Jungwon wants to just crumple to the floor. He can’t believe it’s all over. “Thank you.”

You tilt his head up with your finger so he can look at you, and his eyes are teary, and bloodshot. “I’m sorry.” This is hard on you too. But, you feel like it’s worse for Jungwon. He has to live with the fact that his first love left him like this – with no warning at all. You shouldn’t have ended it like this.

Then you press your lips to his, as a goodbye. The second your lips are on his, Jungwon knows that he doesn’t even want to pull apart. He kisses you with such urgency, now knowing that this is the very last time that he’ll ever get to feel your lips on his.

You kiss him back with the same urgency, the same feeling of desperation. The desire of wanting this moment to never end — because once it does, it is goodbye. Forever.

You are the one to pull away.

And now it is over.

You want to kiss him again. And over and over again. But you know that if you don’t walk away, you never will be able to.

“I love you, Jungwon. I’ll always love you.”

Walking away from Jungwon is the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

You return back to your parents house, late at night. You haven’t been back here for ages, after moving in with Jungwon. Your parents are asleep, and you lock yourself in your room.

The park was filled with peaceful silence. You two walked around quietly, hand in hand. He had told you that he loved you in a hushed whisper. Your room is filled with a dreadful silence. You have no one to hold, no one to tell you that they loved you. You are alone, once again.

You just let go of the very best thing that has ever happened to you.

And you already regret it.

NINETEEN.

For the first time in 4 years, Jungwon wakes up without you by his side.

On instinct, he rolls around to kiss you good morning — but the other half of the bed is empty, and the bed is cold without your presence. The velvet box lies on his bedside table, and looking at it makes Jungwon remember the events of last night.

Him proposing. You telling him that you were dying. You saying that you couldn’t be with him anymore. The last kiss.

He buries his face in his pillow, trying to stop himself from crying. The tears threaten to spill past his cheeks, and the loss of your presence is greatly felt. He feels empty, as if there’s a part of him that’s been taken away.

It is probably his heart. With you leaving, you had taken his heart too. Not even just a little piece of it, the entire thing. Maybe he’s being dramatic, but he doesn’t think he has any desire to love again.

He understands why you didn’t tell him — you didn’t want him to be hurt. But Jungwon would rather have been told this in a different way. Being told that you were dying out of the blue, especially after he had poured his heart out to you while proposing, completely broke him.

His eyes are puffy and swollen from all the crying he did last night. Maeumi senses Jungwon’s sadness, and curls up in bed next to him, Jungwon stroking the dog’s fur as he sniffles, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“It’s just you and me now, Maeumi.”

Jungwon already misses you. He wants to run to your apartment, and tell you that he still wants to be by your side during your final months. But after last night, Jungwon thinks that you don’t want him to be there.

You don’t want him to see you in pain.

Your belongings are still in his apartment. Nothing has changed, most of the things that you own are still there. Jungwon gets up from the bed, and he opens the closet door.

The first item of clothing he sees is the green cardigan that you’d worn when you came to his house for the first time. Jungwon remembers seeing you that day, and you’d quite literally taken his breath away.

Jungwon takes the cardigan off the hanger, and holds it close to his chest. He should probably send these things back to you. Maeumi looks at him with sad eyes — Jungwon doesn’t even need to say anything, and his dog’s already noticed the change in his mood.

How is he supposed to just move on with his life, now knowing that yours is about to end?

No wonder why you always talked about the fragility of cherry blossoms, and how they never tended to last long. He now realised that you were talking about yourself.

From now on, all cherry blossoms will do is remind him of you. His first love, and the first one he lost. He wishes that he could freeze moments in time, just so he can get more time with you. 4 years was far too short.

He is no longer able to hear the sound of your laughter, no longer to see the bright smile on your lips, and no longer able to just simply look at you, admiring all of your features.

Jungwon puts the green cardigan on. It’s quite tight – it’s oversized on you, but it's a little small on him. It smells like you. He doesn’t want to stretch it out, so he’s careful when he moves.

The warmth of the cardigan makes Jungwon feel like you’re hugging him. Your arms wrapped right around his chest, and Jungwon allows himself to imagine that you’re here, holding him in your arms.

And he smiles.

Jungwon heads outside to the convenience store just for a little while. Ever since you had accepted his confession that day in the hospital, Jungwon’s never really spent a day without you by his side.

It feels strange, for you to not be there. But as he’s wearing your green cardigan, he feels your presence linger. He opens his mouth to speak, to ask you a question — but then he realises you’re not next to him. It’s just him now.

This is going to take some time to get used to.

He returns to his apartment with a plastic bag with instant ramyeon and a few snacks. He places the bag on the dining room table, and he notices your keys.

You came when he was at the convenience store.

Jungwon rushes into the room that you two used to share — did you take your things? Did you quietly pack everything up and go?

Everything seems untouched, at first glance.

Jungwon opens the closet doors, and you don’t seem to have taken much from your closet, maybe a few hoodies and some jeans. Everything else is still there.

This reminds Jungwon to take your cardigan off, and put it back on the hanger. He puts the hanger back onto the rack, and goes to grab the grey hoodie he wore the first time you had come over to his house.

He opens the drawer, and he sees a note. It’s written in your handwriting. I took one of your hoodies. I hope you don’t mind. Check the bedside table.

Jungwon digs through the drawer, and the hoodie isn’t anywhere to be found. He takes the note, grabbing the first hoodie from the pile, and closing the drawer.

There’s a small box on the bedside table. It looks a little too similar to the one that holds the engagement ring Jungwon had bought. He opens the box with a shaky breath, and inside is a ring.

There’s another note next to the box. For my one and only.

Jungwon wants to cry, but he thinks he cried so much last night to the point where he can’t cry anymore. He slides the ring onto his ring finger, and it fits. He tells himself to never take it off.

He should’ve given you the ring. Just for you to keep it. So you could have one too.

Jungwon crawls into bed again, hiding under the covers. He holds his hands close to his heart, his fingers fiddling with the ring he’s placed on his finger, perhaps in hopes that it’ll mend his broken heart.

It doesn’t work.

Jungwon thinks that he’ll just have to live with this heartbreak.

TWENTY.

If those white hospital walls felt familiar before, they feel like home now.

2 months after you end things with Jungwon, you’re moved into the hospital to prepare for your eventual death. You have to constantly wear an oxygen mask now, and Chaewon’s heart hurts at the sight of you like this.

You’re confined in his hospital room, occasionally taking a couple walks outside – but you spend most of your days in bed, writing.

You know that the book that you originally were planning to finish before you die won’t be finished in time, with your time being cut short to 4 years. So, you change your plans – you write something for Jungwon.

Chaewon visits you today. She sees you in your hospital bed, wearing Jungwon’s hoodie that you had taken from the apartment you two had shared. You wear the hoodie often, so often to the point where you had told her a couple days ago that the hoodie didn’t smell like Jungwon anymore.

“You seem busy,” Chaewon sits down on the chair next to your bed, and you take a small glance at her before returning your focus towards your laptop. “I take it the book’s making progress?”

“Slow progress, but progress nevertheless.” you tell her. “I don’t think that I have much time left, and I don’t think I’ll have much energy to even write soon. I’ve got to… finish this before I go.”

“You do know that Soobin’s still trying to come up with a solution, right?”

“What solution is there, Chae?” you sigh, and stop typing. “I have so little time left – the doctors had 10 years to make something work, and I’m still dying. It’s not going to happen, Chae. I wish there was, because maybe things would be different.”

Different, as in you wouldn’t be spending your days trapped in the hospital, mask over your lips. You would be happy, engaged, and with Jungwon. You could live a normal life, one where you didn’t have to go to the hospital for regular checkups, one where the thought of dying doesn’t linger in the back of your mind.

You look at Chaewon with a smile on your face. “So as much as I want things to be different... I know that my fate can’t be changed.” It is not like you haven’t lived happily – the last few years were filled with moments that you treasured dearly.

Chaewon doesn’t say anything, and you start typing once more.

“But don’t you want to see him?” she pipes up, and you stop. You slowly turn to look at her, letting out a deep breath.

“It’s not that simple.”

“You love him.”

“That’s exactly why it’s not simple.” you reply plainly.

“I can’t see him. Not when I’m like this. Look at me, Chaewon. I look like I’m dying. How would he react if he saw me like this?”

“He loves you. He wouldn’t care.”

“But it would hurt him.” you close the lid of your laptop, lying down in the bed. “I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have. It has been 2 months since I last saw him – he should be moving on with his life. If I see him… it will bring back memories. Staying away is the best… for both him and I.”

Chaewon can see it in your eyes. Staying away from Jungwon is hurting you, too. Not being able to see him, combined with your illness has drained all the life out of you. She doesn’t know how Jungwon is doing – she hasn’t had the courage to message him, after you broke up with him.

Jungwon hasn’t reached out either.

Chaewon understands why he wouldn’t. You broke up with him immediately after he proposed. If she was in Jungwon’s position, she would undoubtedly be very upset. But Chaewon also knows that Jungwon is understanding. You did tell her that you informed Jungwon about your illness, even though it was most definitely not a good time to say it.

“But you miss him, (Name).”

“I know. Sometimes I just want to grab my phone and message him like everything’s normal again. But I can’t, because it would make things more complicated than they have to be. He’ll cling on again, and I will too. I’ve given him too much false hope already, and I can’t hurt him again. I saw the way he looked at me that night after I told him that I was dying. I felt like I took everything away from him. His plans for the future all involved me – he told me that he didn’t want to spend his life with anyone else, Chae.”

“He wanted to marry you.”

“And I wanted to marry him. But… sometimes plans don’t work out. I wish ours did.”

The ring that you had placed on that nightstand was a purchase that you had made hastily. You went to the store, bought the nicest wedding band that you saw among their displays. You just wanted Jungwon to have something that reminded him of you.

You don’t mention in your note that you had bought a matching one for yourself. It sits on your ring finger, and you tell Chaewon that you’re never going to take it off.

“Maybe Soobin will come up with something,” Chaewon says. But who is she trying to fool? She’s seen Soobin go countless nights without sleep, just trying to research and find some way to keep you alive. She thinks she’s holding onto hope that doesn’t exist, and perhaps Soobin is too. “But, also, there’s something we need to do.”

Chaewon takes out a piece of folded paper from her pocket. It’s the bucket list that you two had created when you were younger, and she places it on the nightstand, smoothing out the creases on the paper.

She takes out a pencil, and hands it to you. “I guess we can check that box on the list now, can’t we?” she whispers, and you take the pencil.

Fall in love, the box reads.

You write the word hopelessly in brackets next to it, and Chaewon chuckles.

Then, you tick the box.

TWENTY ONE.

Three months later, Soobin wakes Chaewon up in the middle of the night.

“I found a way,” Soobin says, and Chaewon looks at him in disbelief. “I think… I really found a way. There’s no guarantee it will work… but we can try.”

Chaewon hugs Soobin so tight he thinks he might suffocate. “Thank you, Soobin.”

Soobin informs you and your family the next morning, and your mother lets out a loud sob. “You’re saying… that (Name) could live?” your mother asks.

“If the surgery works, then I believe so. I really hope so.” Soobin says, and he looks at you. He can’t read the expression on your face, but he hopes you react positively. You’re going to live. He knows that’s what you want.

“Does this mean… no more hospital visits? No more additional treatments, no more trials? I can live… normally?” you murmur.

“Well, you’d still need check-ups from time to time. But yes, if this entire thing works, you can live a normal life. You can see Jungwon again. He’s the lawyer, isn’t he?”

Chaewon nods. “Yes, he’s the lawyer.”

“So… what do you say? Are you up for the procedure?”

You have waited for so long. You know there’s no guarantee it’ll work, but it can’t hurt to try. The worst that could happen is that you’ll die, and even with no surgery, you’ll die anyways. At least with this procedure, it gives you a chance.

A chance for 30, 40, 50 more cherry blossom seasons.

You can see Jungwon again. You two can finish what you two started – you can say yes, this time. You two can get nicer wedding bands, and you two can spend every day together, until you’re both old and wrinkly.

“Yes. Let’s do it.”

Soobin smiles brightly at you. “Great. Let’s do it, then.”

It seems as if the universe has given you another chance at life. Like the cherry blossoms that return each spring, it seems like you will return for the next spring too.

“Are you going to tell Jungwon?” your sister asks you, and you pause. Should you tell Jungwon? Wouldn’t it be strange to message him out of the blue, after you had broken his heart five months ago?

“What would I say?”

“Turns out I’m going to live.” Chaewon shrugs, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “Look, he loves you a lot. 5 months is a long time, but… you’re not too late.”

You could message him. But what if things don’t stay the same? What if he’s happier now, and with someone else? Wouldn’t you just ruin things for him if you suddenly came back into his life again and acted as if nothing was wrong?

“I don’t… I don’t think that I could do that.” you play with the ring that sits on your ring finger, and Chaewon sighs.

“It’s okay. Do what you feel is right, I suppose. But… I know that Jungwon holds a lot of love in his heart for you. I don’t think he would let go of his feelings for you so easily – he’s loved you since 7th grade. Do you know how long that is?” Chaewon asks, and you can’t help but smile.

“That is quite a long time.” you agree, and Chaewon nods.

“You can tell him after the surgery.” she says.

You think that might be a better idea. Because if you don’t survive the journey, you might give Jungwon more false hope. It would crush him even more if you had randomly messaged him, told him you were getting surgery in order to live, and not end up living anyways.

“I have to finish the book.” you suddenly remember. If the surgery is soon, and you don’t make it, you still want your story with Jungwon to be published. Minji had told you that Hajoon was good friends with someone who worked at a big-name publishing company, and could help you get it published.

You immediately open your laptop, and open up the document that you had been working on. With newfound motivation, the words just seem to come naturally onto the page. Chaewon watches as your fingers fly at a superhuman speed across the keyboard, and she smiles.

She really does hope that the surgery works. There are more boxes on that bucket list that have yet to be ticked off. Chaewon wants more time with you. She needs more time with you.

Perhaps she’ll finally be able to see you and Jungwon have your happily ever after. You could finally say yes to his proposal. She could watch you say “I do” at the altar. And you and Jungwon will get the life that you two had planned for yourselves. Your countless cherry blossom seasons, and your little forever does not need to be so little anymore.

She is glad that the universe is finally able to see that your early departure from this world would be a great loss. Finally, there is some way to keep you alive. Soobin has worked for years in order to find a solution, and she couldn’t be happier for you, but also him.

He’s worked tirelessly, and his hard work has paid off. He’s going to be able to save the lives of other people who are unfortunately suffering through the same illness as you are.

“(Name)?” Chaewon says, and you look up at her.

“I hope it works.”

You smile, nodding at your sister.

“I really hope it works too.”

TWENTY TWO.

Your surgery is in 2 days.

Wonyoung and Minji have visited you every day in the days leading up to your surgery, with the two of them bringing you your favourite foodw every time.

You manage to finish the book. It is quite short, but it details everything you want to say to Jungwon.

“Send it over to Hajoon, please? I hope that it’ll be published. If I do… end up passing… I hope that it becomes a success.” you tell Minji, who nods. She seems to be fighting the urge to cry, and you sigh. “Don’t cry, Minji. Maybe it’ll work.”

“It has to.” Minji says. “Things won’t be the same without you. It’s always been us 3. When you told us that you were dying… I was forced to start imagining what it’d be like with just the 2 of us… and even now, I don’t know what it’ll be like. But I know it’ll be very different.”

“Don’t think about that. Let’s think about what life will be like after the surgery works.” Wonyoung squeezes your hand.

“Also… send over a copy to Jungwon.”

“Oh. Of course,” Minji replies. “Have you spoken to him since the breakup?”

You shake your head. “I don’t know how he’s doing. And please… don’t tell him about the surgery. Because if it doesn’t work, then he’ll be more upset than before.”

Wonyoung looks down at her shoes, her hand still holding yours. “He misses you.”

You look at her with a surprised look on your face. “He does?”

The girl nods. “He misses you a lot. He’s… not doing so great. Ricky says that they meet up every now and then, and Jungwon never seems to be… okay. I’ve seen him a couple of times, and now that it’s just the 3 of us… it’s like there’s… someone missing. We meet at his house, sometimes. He often looks at the empty seat on his right. He sets up a plate and cutlery for that empty seat too – he’s saving it for you.”

Your heart hurts. You want to see him again. You want to fill up that empty seat, and then nothing will be missing. Things will be right, just like the way they were before.

Your friends carefully examine your features, and it is clear to both of them that you miss him too. You’re wearing his hoodie, and the box that Jungwon used to give you that white wig sits on your nightstand, near your bed. The camera that you used to record moments with Jungwon is placed close to the box – Minji and Wonyoung know that you want to keep items that remind you of Jungwon near you.

“It’s okay. You’ll see him soon.”

“Yeah. I will,” you try to not think about the highly likely possibility of you not surviving the surgery. “In a couple of months, maybe. I’ve still got to recover from the surgery.”

“We could ask him to come to the hospital to see you after you wake up,” Minji says, and you immediately shake your head. “No. I don’t want Jungwon to see me sick like this. When we were together, there was a reason why I booked my doctor’s appointments whenever he was busy. I’ll see him when I’m fully better, okay?”

Minji and Wonyoung look at each other, Wonyoung biting the inside of her cheek hesitantly. “Yeah. Okay, then.”

“You guys can go if you’re busy,” you tell your friends, and the two shake their heads. “We’re not going to go yet, (Name). We… want to stay with you for a little longer.” Minji says, her voice cracking slightly.

“Yeah. We’re always here for you,” Wonyoung smiles at you. “We’ve been friends since we were little. We’re not going to… let you go this quickly.”

“And if this whole thing doesn’t work, I’ll be watching you two from up there.”

Your words make Minji and Wonyoung go silent. As your surgery date gets closer and closer, reality hits them like a ton of bricks – they’ve known that you would go earlier than either of them, but now knowing the possibility of this moment being the last they ever share with you is terrifying.

Nobody is ready to see you leave. You don’t think you’re quite ready either.

“Don’t say that, (Name).” Minji is the first one to break the silence. “The surgery could work. Soobin’s very good at what he does. You could live, and then when we’re old, we can all retire and live in a small village. Like we planned.”

“Yes. Just like we planned.” you say, staring up at the ceiling.

Wonyoung and Minji stay until the hospital staff tell them that they have to leave. They bid you goodbye with tears in their eyes, the two of them hugging you tightly, not wanting to let go.

As she’s heading to leave, Minji stops in her tracks and turns around. “I’ll see you in 2 days, (Name).”

You rest your head against your pillow, and you sigh. In 2 days, you would either die, or you would learn that you would be able to live.

You hold your hands close to your chest, fiddling with the ring on your finger.

Then, you close your eyes.

TWENTY THREE.

At night, I’m afraid to close my eyes.

I can’t forget. I can’t forget you.

Jungwon’s eyes scan the page, tears falling onto the paper. He wipes the tears rolling down his cheeks away with the sleeve of his hoodie.

Hey, Jungwon.

I lived a happy life. It might’ve been shorter than others, but when I met you, and was loved dearly by you, I thought – I was definitely alive. So, I’ve done enough in this lifetime, right?

When you proposed, I wanted to say yes. If this illness didn’t plague me, believe me – I would’ve told you yes in a heartbeat. I wish I didn’t end things that way. I wish things didn’t have to end.

I want to see you, Jungwon.

I want to see you so bad, Jungwon.

Wonyoung looks at Jungwon helplessly – sobs racking his body. She reaches a hand out to comfort him, patting him on the shoulder gently. But it is no use.

I’ll be watching you from above, Jungwon. I’ll make the cherry blossom seasons more beautiful than the last every time they come. I’ll paint you the prettiest rainbows in the sky.

Go on and live happily, my love.

Hey, Jungwon?

I love you.

He turns the page, and he finds that there’s nothing left. He looks at Wonyoung, bloodshot eyes and tears staining his cheeks. “That’s it? That’s all?”

Wonyoung simply nods. Jungwon doesn’t know that today is the day of your surgery, and she is equally as worried. The poor girl is trying not to break herself, and seeing Jungwon so distraught makes her feel the need to fight back the tears stinging her eyes.

“Is there anything else she said? Anything else I should know? Please, Wonyoung. Tell me.” Jungwon is desperate to just simply know how you are doing. He wants to know anything – it doesn’t even have to be anything important. A simple ‘fine’ would suffice. It has been months, but Jungwon knows that the wound over his heart is nowhere near healed.

It still hurts, and it still stings.

All day, and all night all he does is think about you. He wakes up, without you by his side – and he just feels empty. Sometimes, it affects him at work too – his colleagues notice that he’s “a little out of it”, saying that he doesn’t seem to be as focused as before. Something at home must’ve affected him pretty badly, is the gossip around the office.

Everyone around him has noticed that he is not the same person he was before – maybe even just simply a shell of his previous self.

He rarely smiles now. When he does, they seem forced. He always looks tired, dark eye bags under his eyes. Jungwon knows he should live happily, for you – but it is hard. It is a struggle.

“She is… doing okay.”

“Can I see her?”

“She… doesn’t want you to see her in a state like this. I’m sorry, Jungwon,” Wonyoung looks down at her shoes uncomfortably. “And she fears that if she sees you… she’ll be too scared to go.”

“Is there anything else?”

Jungwon fiddles with the ring you had left on the nightstand. Wonyoung somehow just realises that this ring matches with the one that you have on your finger. The one you never take off.

“Who gave you that?” Wonyoung asks curiously, gesturing towards the ring. Jungwon looks at it with a sad smile. “(Name). The day after we ended things.”

“That’s interesting. (Name) has a matching one.” Wonyoung tells him, and Jungwon’s features soften. “Really?” he whispers.

“Yeah,” Wonyoung nods. “I think… she might’ve gotten them to show her commitment towards you. You are her first and last love, Jungwon. You mean a great deal to her. She still loves you.”

“And I still love her,” Jungwon sighs. “It has been months. (Name) has asked me to move on – and I am trying. Because she told me it was her last wish, but it seems… impossible to fulfil. How am I supposed to get over her?”

Wonyoung has to tell herself that she can’t inform Jungwon about your surgery. As of right now, you’re probably in the operating room right now. She taps her foot on the marble floor anxiously – she really, really hopes that it will be a success. “You can… take your time. I understand it is hard.”

“Not just hard, Wonyoung. Impossible.” Jungwon says. He flips back to the first page of the short book that you had left him, and starts reading it from start to finish.

It details almost every single moment of your relationship, and Jungwon’s heart warms at the fact that you remember every little detail.

Slowly but surely, every little thing started to remind me of you. Grey hoodies, the smell of fresh linen, small white dogs, and black beanies. Cherry flavoured lip balm, silver small hoop earrings, and stickers of Tamama. Black and white flannel shirts, expensive lego sets, and Mom is An Alien ice cream.

But then I realised, everything started to remind me of you, because I found that I was always searching for something that reminded me of you.

Somehow, you slowly made your way into my heart when I thought I had kept it sealed shut. I don’t know how you did it, but I am so grateful you did.

“You’ll be okay, Jungwon.” Wonyoung watches him wipe his tears away once more. She takes out a packet of tissues from her purse, sliding it to him on the table. “I don’t know. Maybe. Thank you for the tissues, Wonyoung.” he says, taking out a tissue.

He wipes his tears away, but they keep falling.

“It’s okay, Jungwon. Just let it all out.” she says, patting his shoulder gently.

Wonyoung nervously glances at her phone, waiting for any sort of news from your family to see whether or not the surgery was a success.

She needs you alive. Jungwon needs you alive.

Everyone you know needs you alive.

TWENTY FOUR.

“We just need her to wake up.”

That is the first thing you hear when you wake up.

You crack one eye open, and you feel the warmth of Chaewon’s hand in yours. You hear the nervous tapping of her shoes on the hospital floor, you hear the beeps of the machines you’re hooked up to, and you hear the chatter from your parents and Soobin in your room.

“Please, (Name). Wake up. Please.” Chaewon murmurs, and you lightly squeeze her hand.

Chaewon immediately notices. “(Name)?” She looks at you in awe, as you stare at her, mustering up a smile. You’re tired, probably because you just woke up from surgery – but you’re alive.

You’re alive. You’re not with the stars yet. You’re here, on Earth.

“She’s alive. She’s alive, Soobin!” Chaewon gasps, and Soobin immediately runs over to you. “(Name). (Name)! Oh my god. It worked. It worked.” he says, and he wraps Chaewon in a huge hug. The two of them are crying, and you smile weakly at them.

“You did it, Soobin. You saved my sister.” Chaewon sobs, and you look towards your parents, who must be in shock. Your father and mother are both sitting there shock-still, mouth agape. “Uncle, Auntie. She’s alive. (Name) made it. She’s going to live.”

Then, your mother lets out the loudest sob. You think that everyone in the hospital is able to hear it.

“Oh my god, (Name).” your mother says, running over to you. She grabs your hand, holding it tightly. You’re too tired to say anything, so you just simply smile at her. You would wave, if she wasn’t grabbing your hands like her life depended on it.

“How are you feeling?” Chaewon asks.

Your mother lets go of your hands so you can give them a thumbs up. “She’s probably very tired, right now. We should let her sleep for a little bit.” Soobin tells your parents. He offers them some coffee at the cafe, to which they accept.

Before he leaves the room, Soobin gives you a soft smile. “See? Your brother in law did it.”

Chaewon can’t help but look at him with adoration as he leaves. She squeezes your hands tightly, maybe even tighter than your mother did. “I told you not to give up hope. You’re alive. You get more time here.”

You do get more time here. More time with your friends, more time with your family.

You get more time with Jungwon.

“Oh my god. We have to tell Jungwon, don’t we?” Chaewon says, and you grab her arm to stop her from getting her phone. You shake your head, telling her not now. Maybe in a bit.

“Why?”

You wave your hand to tell her that you’ll explain later, when you’ve regained enough energy to talk. You close your eyes, letting yourself drift away into a deep slumber.

And for the first time, you’re not scared to close your eyes anymore.

Your fear was forgetting about Jungwon once you passed away, and were in the stars. But now you don’t have to worry about that anymore, because you’re alive.

The universe had decided that it wanted you to stay for longer. That you deserved more time. And even though you’re still hooked up to these machines, you know that soon enough, after you’ve made much more progress with your recovery, the white walls in the hospital will become much less familiar than before.

You can go home. Back to Jungwon.

You finally get your normal life. Where you don’t have to worry about dying until much, much later. Where you can just stay in the moment, cherishing every single second, minute, and hour.

You get to see more of those beautiful pink blossoms that you adore.

Soobin had done the impossible — he had cured what was thought to be an incurable illness. Chaewon is eternally grateful to him for that.

“We can finally check off that bucket list, (Name).” Chaewon says, softly sobbing. “Every box will be ticked.”

Soobin enters the hospital room with a cup of coffee, only to see Chaewon crying, and he quickly places the coffee down on the nightstand. “Chae, don’t cry.” he grabs a tissue from the tissue box, wiping her tears away.

“She’s alive.” Soobin says. “Yes. She’s alive. I didn’t think I’d get more time with her,” she cries, and Soobin holds her tightly. “Thank you for saving her, my love.”

“I’m glad I was able to.”

“Does Jungwon know?” Soobin asks, and Chaewon shakes her head, wiping her tears away with the tissue. “She doesn’t want him to know yet.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I think she thinks that it’s her way of keeping him away from suffering more pain because of her.” Chaewon replies. She really wishes that you’ll just…. tell Jungwon. But then again, she doesn’t know what it’s like to go through something like this. She can’t claim to understand, and she won’t either.

“I guess we’ll just have to wait, right?”

TWENTY FIVE.

Your recovery goes well.

It’s been 4 months since your surgery, and Minji and Wonyoung haven’t told Jungwon that you’re alive yet. The boy still thinks you’re dead, according to Ricky.

For the first time after the surgery, you go out and see the cherry blossoms. This time, you go at night.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Chaewon asks, and you shake your head. “I’m okay, Chae. I can handle myself.”

You’re wearing Jungwon’s grey hoodie, and a pair of black sweatpants. You’re dressed exactly like how he usually is, and you stuff your wallet and keys into the front pocket of the hoodie before you leave the house.

It’s colder tonight, the cold air nipping at your skin. You head towards the park where Jungwon had proposed to you. It’s a little further from your apartment now, because you had moved out of Jungwon’s place.

You don’t know why, but you feel like you might see him here tonight.

You arrive, and the cherry blossoms are illuminated by the lights hung around the trees, just like the night Jungwon had proposed.

You take a deep breath in, taking in the fresh air. You’re alive.

You walk around the park, smiling to yourself. The smell of the cherry blossoms waft through the air, and oh, you’ve missed this. The only thing that’s missing is Jungwon by your side.

“I wonder how you’re doing,” you murmur to yourself. You act like Jungwon’s able to hear you, even though you know he isn’t.

“Are you eating well? Are you sleeping well? How is your family? What about Maeumi?” you have tons of questions for him.

“I survived,” you whisper. “Soobin finally found a way. I got the surgery, and my recovery is going well. I’m not in pain anymore, and I don’t have to take as much medicine. I didn’t give up hope.”

“We can finally have our forever, if you’re willing. I know I am.”

His apartment isn't far from here. Maybe you could walk there, and talk to him. But that’s probably not such a good idea. It’s the middle of the night, and he would most definitely be startled.

The possibility that he’s moved on already also lingers in the back of your mind. You can only hope that what Wonyoung told you about him missing you is true, because then, you truly wouldn’t know what to do.

Or perhaps you should simply stay away. Wouldn’t coming back to him make things more complicated?

Chaewon’s voice rings in your head. But he loves you.

What if he doesn’t anymore?

Terrible thoughts like these run rampant in your mind, and you tell yourself to stop thinking so negatively. You are alive. Your time is not going to expire anytime soon, anymore. You have time to mend things, if he is willing to.

You really hope he is willing to.

You don’t know that Jungwon is also looking at the cherry blossoms too.

Except, he is at a different park.

He is at the one closer to your house, the one where you two had met for the first time. He brings the ring with him — this is the first cherry blossom season he’s spent alone after you had left.

“I miss you,” he says to the trees. He acts as if they are you. “Is it comfortable up there? Are you happy?”

“I got a promotion, by the way. Apparently, the last few years of my hard work really paid off. Oh, Ricky and Wonyoung got engaged, if you didn’t know that. I’m very happy for them.”

“Wonyoung told me that the ring you left had a matching one that you wore. That’s very sweet of you. I… never really take this one off. I’m trying to move on, but… it’s very hard. Please forgive me if I need some time. Much more time.”

“I read your book to me, by the way. Hajoon says his friend published it, and it’s a big hit. I bought a copy of it for myself, too.”

As a fully intact flower floats to the floor, Jungwon picks it up. He smiles at it, and tucks it behind his ear like you did. “I love you, (Name). I’ll go to the park where we met tomorrow. It will be a Saturday. I have time.”

Jungwon walks back home, cherry blossom still tucked behind his ear. If people saw him like this, they might think he’s a little silly — but Jungwon doesn’t care. Nobody knows how much it means to him. Jungwon tells himself to go press the flower in a little book when he gets home, so he can preserve it.

He passes by the park where he proposed to you, and where you had ended things. He sees a figure wandering around the park wearing a big hoodie, just like he is, and he furrows his eyebrows. Perhaps that person likes seeing the cherry blossoms at night too. It is rather pretty, with the LED lights illuminating the pink flowers.

He heads back to his apartment, thinking nothing of it.

He doesn’t realise that the person is you.

And as you return back to your apartment too, you also don’t realise that Jungwon had walked right past you.

TWENTY SIX.

True to his word, Jungwon returns to that park on Saturday.

This time, he’s walking Maeumi. It’s a good day today, the birds are chirping and there’s not a single cloud in the sky.

Jungwon sees a lot of couples walking around in the park. That would’ve been you and him, if you were still here. He looks up at the sky again. Maybe you’re watching him from up there. He hopes that you are.

He can’t help but admit that he does feel the slightest bit of jealousy watching those couples walk around hand in hand.

But he tells himself it’s okay. You wouldn’t want him to dwell on things like this.

Just like the day he met you for the first time after high school ended, there’s a peaceful quietness as he wanders around the park. The cherry blossoms this year are as beautiful as ever, and Jungwon knows that you’d just simply adore them if you were here to witness it.

“She’d love these, wouldn’t she, Maeumi?” he asks his dog.

Jungwon looks for any flowers that might’ve floated to the pavement, fully intact.

He can’t seem to find any, so he decides to wander off to another part of the park. It is pretty big, which is why a lot of couples come here for picnics during the cherry blossom season. He did that with you when you two were dating.

But then Maeumi barks, and runs off. “Woah, Maeumi — what’s going on?” Jungwon follows his dog, sighing. “Maeumi, seriously, don’t run off—!”

He stops in his tracks when he sees Maeumi run up to you. Just like the first time he saw you again after high school.

But there’s no way that’s you — because you’re dead. But then you look at him, and your eyes tell him everything. You look at him with love shining bright in your eyes, and oh, Jungwon’s missed seeing that look in your eyes. He’s missed seeing you.

Jungwon must be dreaming. Or, either you’re a ghost — but Jungwon doesn’t really believe in ghosts, so perhaps he’s just dreaming. He pinches himself to the point it hurts, so he knows that this isn’t just a dream.

“Jungwon,” you breathe out.

Your voice is like the most wonderful piece of music to his ears. Tears sting his eyes — Jungwon has been crying a lot recently, but these ones aren’t sad tears. They’re happy tears.

“(Name)? But.. you…” Jungwon can’t believe his eyes. You’re actually here. You didn’t die. But why did Wonyoung keep this a secret from him? And why didn’t you call?

“I’m alive. I know… it’s shocking.”

“Why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you say anything — how?” he asks, in disbelief.

“I’m sorry.” you say, stepping closer to him. “I… didn’t want you to see me sick. But… I’m alive now. And… I got surgery. Soobin cured my illness.”

Jungwon just wraps you in a huge hug, and he starts sobbing uncontrollably. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” you bury your face in the crook of his neck. “I wanted to see you. I wanted to see you so badly it hurt, Jungwon. I never wanted to leave you — I… wanted that forever.”

You look at Jungwon with tears in your eyes. “You’re not over me, are you?”

Jungwon shakes his head with a small smile. “You know that I’d never get over you. Like I said… you’re the only one for me, (Name). Every day I’ve spent without you, I’ve still been thinking about you, dreaming about you. I’ve loved you since the 7th grade — I can’t let someone like you go so easily.”

Jungwon feels that wound over his heart start to mend. You are here — you are alive, and that is all that matters to him. You have always been the one for him, and now knowing that he can indeed spend his forever with you fills him with so much joy he feels like he could just explode.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were getting surgery?” he asks, taking a hold of your hands.

“I couldn’t let you see me in that state. And there was no guarantee that it would work, and I didn’t want to give you any false hope that I would survive. Throughout our relationship I had already given you too much false hope. I’m really, really sorry about that. I just… can’t stand seeing you upset. And I know ending things like that must’ve been… so, excruciatingly painful. I’m so sorry, Jungwon.”

“It’s okay. You’re here now.” he says. “We have time to… mend things, right?”

“All the time in the world,” you affirm, a soft smile on your lips. “Of course, I will have the occasional check-up, and I’ll still be on some medication, but… no more hospital beds and machinery hooked up to my body so often.”

“We can take things slow, Won. There’s no pressure. No clocks ticking. Just me and you. Oh, and I can’t forget about Maeumi.” you ruffle the dog’s fur, and even Maeumi seems overjoyed at your return.

Jungwon can’t help but smile at you like an idiot. “What?” you ask, mirroring the look on his face.

“Nothing. I just can’t believe you’re actually here.” he says, and as he holds your hands, he feels the ring on your finger. He looks at it, and his smile gets even wider.

He brings your hand up to his lips, and kisses the ring. “You know, I never took mine off.” he says, showing you his hand.

“I never took mine off either,” you say. “I never wanted to.”

Suddenly, everything is alright. Jungwon finds himself smiling again, and he finds that his gloomy mood has just disappeared, all because you’ve returned. Those 30, 40, 50 cherry blossom seasons will undoubtedly be shared with you. Your little forever suddenly does not become so little after all — the universe has given you much, much more time. Now, it is simply a forever.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungwon asks, and you nod. “Of course you can, Won.”

And when he leans in, everything just feels right again. The cherry blossoms float in the air behind you, falling to the pavement. The chatter around you two is drowned out — it’s just you and him again, and nobody else. As if you two are in your little bubble. He still uses that cherry flavoured chapstick, you realise.

He kisses you with such longing, and you do too. You have missed this, the feeling of his lips on yours. When you pull away, there’s a big, goofy grin on Jungwon’s face. “One more.”

You know this trick. But you let him trick you anyway.

Jungwon kisses you over and over again under the cherry blossom trees, your hearts both so full to the point you think it might burst at the seams.

You think your second romance with Jungwon will make you fall harder than the first time. The universe gives you two another chance, and you are nothing but grateful.

You have time now.

And as you return to Jungwon’s apartment, the place you call home, you smile brightly at him.

Aside from transience and ephemerality, cherry blossoms also signify a rebirth. In this case, a rebirth of your romance with Jungwon. A new start, perhaps.

You both can finally live the life that you both pictured having.

So, when he pops the question again, this time, you know you won’t hesitate to say yes.

#enhanet #kflixnet #k labels #hyfenet #enhypen oneshots #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen au #jungwon oneshots #jungwon imagines #jungwon scenarios #jungwon angst #jungwon fluff #jungwon x reader #jungwon au #haru yo koi — yjw! 🌸

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neuvistar · 11 months

Note

I'm IN LOVE with your jingren x reader post like my toes be curling while my heart be fluttering GOSH.

Can I request blade doing the unspeakable with us then getting caught by Jing Yuan but Jing decided he just wanted to watch blade fucking our minds out 🤭🤭🤭

WITNESS IT ALL!

— featuring ┊blade x f!reader x jing yuan

— warnings / content warnings ┊not proofread, kinda sloppy n messy, male masturbation (jing yuan), dirty talk, slight degradation, blade jus being a lil jerk, uhmm. slight choking? blade referred to as “ren” here, use of nicknames, bladie being rough w u i think, overall suggestive content | 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

— a/n ┊MM IM SO SORRY 4 THE LATE UPLOAD ANON! 😭😭 but YES YES i can imagine jing yuan keepin it low at first as he watches blade fuck ur brains out, hand stroking his cock while he watches ! this has been decaying in my drafts 4 so long i’m so sorry sweetheart i got back from a mini break >:>

“r-ren! s’ messy.. you already came too much already..!” you whined, pouting as your fingers desperately tugged at his hair, a groan erupting from his throat as he bit down on your shoulder to suppress his grunts, breathing heavily against your skin as he bit you hard enough to make your body jump. two. that was two, two orgasms. he came inside you the second time, biting his bottom lip at how tight you squeezed around his twitching cock.

“i thought i heard you say that you wanted to make it a third time, precious.” was all he whispered against you before shoving himself up deeper and deeper with each thrust, trapping his cum inside your drenched cunt as his fingers tightened around on your throat, watching as your expression switched to one with need. saliva spilled from the side of your mouth, eyes widened with surprise and lust as you whimpered at how rough he was with you, legs spasming around his waist. your boyfriend lightly choked you out, not wanting to go too overboard as his hand clasped around your mouth, watching your lewd expressions with a smirk. he knew he was stretching you over your limits, stretching out your poor pussy as well in the process. blade was hungry for you, pinning your wrists down over your head as his fingers intertwined with yours, licking his lips at how full you must’ve been, stuffing you with his cum as his cock bullied itself inside your hole with your eyes rolling to the back of your head, arching your back at how good it felt.

“that’s it, princess. you like it when i hit that sweetspot of yours? you like it when i use your body in such lewd ways like this, hm? you’re such a fucking whore, aren’t you.. but I'm not complaining now am i, my pretty girl?” he muttered lowly in your ear, biting down on your earlobe gently as he grabbed a fistful of your hair, pouring his tongue inside your mouth.

blade’s eyes widened in pleasure, eyes nearly rolling into his head as he found a new angle, frustratingly thrusting faster into your stuffed cunny. “i’m gonna cum a third time if you keep tightening around me so fucking nicely, pretty. fuck.. you love getting used as nothing but a fucktoy, hm? poor girl you are..” he caressed your cheek, planting a small kiss on your nose as she chuckled at how exhausted you were, sweat dripping all over your body. “you can't do anything but sit here and get fucked absolutely fucking raw, but you like that do you? i bet you fucking do.”

“ren.. ren! p-please..” you wrapped your arms around his neck, breathing against his neck as he hooked his arm under your knee, pushing it against your chest as he grunted at how tightly you were pulsing around him now, you were close. “c-can’t..”

“you can take it, stop whining pretty. quit lying to yourself, you know how much you love this as much as i do. fuckin’ slut for my cock you are..” his hips rolled against yours, a more rougher and quickened pace as he brought his voice down to a whisper, mumbling a few things in your ear. “think about it like this, angel. how embarrassing would it be if we both got caught, hm? how embarrassing would it be to have someone see me fucking you like this. how fucking embarrassing it would be if it was none other than the general himself, hm?”

unknowing to both of you, it seems blade already predicted that exact scenario. jing yuan stood outside of the room you both were in, pants slightly tugged down as his cock was relying on his fingers.. jerking off at the sight of blade fucking you roughly. the general knew it was wrong to stay here and just get off to this, but he couldn’t stop himself no matter how hard he tried to. jing yuan bit his lip, hissing at the discomfort of his erected cock.. he threw his head back at the thought of him fucking you dumb, he could do so much better than that criminal, he thought. no! she shouldn’t be thinking of that.. he shouldn’t! but.. he couldn’t stop. the white haired male glanced over his shoulder, stroking his cock at the same rhythm blade thrusted into you. the general couldn’t help but smile at how fucked out you were, looking over the door frame seeing just how lewd you looked right now.. the sounds you made, the faces he tried to take in of you almost came straight from a pornagraphic video.

a low chuckle left blade’s lips as he watched you squirming in his touch with your mouth slightly hung open as you tightened your grip around his neck.. never putting a stop to his sharp thrusts. “cmon be shy, precious. let me hear you..." blade’s cock twitched again, breath hitching. “cum for me, cmon pretty girl.. don't be scared.” jing yuan stroke his cock faster, he was getting close as well, his breath grew heavier and heavier by the second.

the bed creaked underneath, orgasm building up quickly inside of both you and blade and before you know it.. you were already tearing up. “r-ren!” a choked whimper was forced out of you, calling out blade’s name as he spilled his load inside of you again, your stomach bloating at how full he filled you up, legs shaking from your climax as jing yuan eyed you down from the outside, biting his lip at the sight of your cunt completely filled with blade’s cum, watching at how smoothly cum dripped from your hole once blade finally pulled out. unlucky for the general, the white haired male reached his high as well, releasing on the floor as he cursed at himself for making such a huge mess on the ground. your face scrunched at how your folds were coated with stickiness and white from your boyfriend.. staining the sheets. you gasped as blade plunged his fingers in your hole, breath hitching as he swiftly inserted his dripping cum back inside your hole.

blade then paused for a moment, a smirk crept up his pretty face as he glanced over his shoulder, eyeing the door frame. jing yuan’s heart skipped a beat.. almost seen by the other male as he sighed in relief. suddenly blade opened his mouth to speak, his voice dark yet so calm.

“mm.. it seems someone was there to witness it all as well, princess. i think he seemed to have enjoyed the little show we put up.”

shit. maybe he was seen after all.

#ᖭི༏ᖫྀ maryse’s diary ૮꒰˶˃̵ ^ ˂̵˵꒱ა #jing yuan <33 #blade <33 #blade smut #jing yuan smut #blade x reader #hsr imagines #jing yuan x reader #hsr blade #hsr jing yuan #hsr smut #honkai star rail smut #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #jing yuan x you #blade x you #poly!jing ren x reader on the brain! <3

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sooniebby · 6 months

Note

Childe anon here. Thinking about taking care of him after a long day. Massaging his sores and aches, making him feel good. I feel like he’d be into cockwarming and free use ngl. Probably a little bit of praise too. I’m so down bad for this man 😭

(Can i be 🌊 anon?)

You’re speaking to me ocean anon… you’re speaking

Imagining Childe getting you to massage his back after a “hard” day at work. He’d practically be complaining until you put everything down and give him his much needed massages. Your soft hands kneading gently on his tense muscles—you just mindlessly answering whatever nonsense he’s talking about. Then as your hands trace towards his back, the nail marks you gave him two nights ago. He’d suddenly stop and look back at you, a teasing smirk on his lips,

“I think they’re fading away… you don’t want that.. do you?”

A scenario that I keep thinking about—

You’d be doing something when Childe was just barge into your room. It wouldn’t even be worthy of reacting to—he’s done this many times. At this point, you’d sit up from your chair as he pulls down your pants and sits down, pulling his dick out. You’d sit on his cock and just go back to what you were doing while he whines about having such a bad day…

Until he gets irritated you aren’t reacting enough and then just starts fucking you until you’re whimpering and crying—forgetting all about that pointless work you were doing.

#bottom male reader #childe x male reader #genshin impact x male reader #smut drabble

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sindicas · 2 years

Text

pleasure, pleasure, pleasure!

cw: reader is pregnant, referred to as mommy (no kink), office foreplay, eren talks you through foreplay, fingering, squirting, you both like to tease, praise, umm i think that’s it

notes: i posted this yesterday but it wasn’t the full version 😭

naur cause thinking of eren who’s gotten you pregnant and your tummy is so round and plump. your breasts are so heavy and full. your body’s thick and plump too. yet, your pussy’s still so warm and tight. the snuggest fit for his fingers. the one’s he’s pumping out of you slowly, and making you taste as a reward for being so wet.

“see what happens when you come visit me at work”

“erennn,” you’re crying, sniffling. curling your toes and using your hands to cover your face, “ ‘s bored… i was bored.” you mutter. you’re out of breath and drooling. he’s got you in his office chair, it’s cozy and snug, and you’ve got your thighs spread over the arms. eren’s holding you in place, fucking his middle finger right into your pussy. marveling at the way you squeeze around him, how your arousal drips and covers his fist. he’s in love with how he can feel you sucking him in deep. if only you could handle his dick. but he just can’t fuck you soft enough in this pregnant state. he can’t bend your legs at the knees ad throw them over his shoulder. can’t just fuck another kid into you cause your tummy’s so big, and your pussy aches with any sudden touch.

“i’m helping aren’t i? you don’t like being a lonely mommy? can’t keep your butt at home?”

“if only you’d take my dick. i think it’d make you feel so much better mommy.”

this mommy feels so guilty for not being able to take daddy’s dick.

“nuh uh,” you’re trembling. jerking in his seat. your thighs spread even further as you fuck his finger. that one digit makes your limbs weak. it’s making your head feel so light, and it’s making your pussy so, so wet. a loud squelch. that suction. “can’t take your dick.” you cry cause you want it so bad.

“but i wan’ it.” you make grabby hands at him. at his cock that strains against his pants. it has his khakis on edge. makes him massage that pretty little clit. your swollen little feet ache, cause you’re curling your toes so tight. holding back the loudest string of moans. he’s fucking his angel this dumb with just his fingers.

“don’t look at me like that.”

“cause you’re gonna hate me if i fuck you right now.” beads of sweat trickle down his face. resisting that pussy, your pussy, his pussy. it’s fucking killing him. he’s gonna have to go to the office bathroom and jerk his dick, cause every time he tries to put it in; you’re a mess. you get so tight that he can barely push the head in. ‘you’re gonna tell me you can’t take it. gonna tell me it’s too big ‘won’t fit’.” he mocks.

“you’re a real tease you know that?” did you know that? coming in here, just so he can finger you in his office so that you can go about your day. after he releases all that sexual frustration in you, cause you know he’ll do it. he’ll do anything for his pregnant wife. kiss her lips, rub her feet, and please that greedy little pussy. just with a flick of your wrist, he’ll submit. just so you can rub it in his face, let him know how good it feels to get pleasured by the help of someone. with the help of a lover.

and he wants to deny you of that pleasure, but feeling how fucking wet you get from his fingers makes him swoon. he could never deny you of that. how your gummy walls have their own heartbeat. how it pulses around his finger like it’s his dick. how you squeal out when he strokes your g-spot. how you’re leaking into his chair, creaming all over his fingers. a steady stream of cream slips down from your pussy and drips to your ass.

you fuck his finger like a whore. so needy, so desperate. blabbing and fumbling your words. arching your back away from the chair when that pleasant, fuzzy feeling creeps into your stomach. “gonna cum,” you groan, “gonna make me cum.”

“i know, baby. i can feel it. i can feel your little pussy squeezing me.” he smirks, places his hand below your bump, and pushes up and at an angle as he sinks his finger further inside. he wants to add another, just one more if he can. just to stretch that pussy out so his dick can fit; he’s a throbbing mess. but his dick is girthier, and thicker. it feels like his heart is in his dick. throbbing at each feeling of constraint.

“gonna try to fit one more in, ‘mkay? just wanna see how much you can take.” you twitch and clamp down around him. he definitely won’t get it in like this. you’re fluttering non-stop around his fingers.

“come on, princess, relax for me.”

“you know ’m tryin’.” your words come out breathy. there’s a bit of strain to ‘em. all you can think about is cumming. there’s nothing else, you’re focusing all your energy on getting a nut. your clit’s taken over all thinking; all those nerves are on overdrive.

“just breathe okay?“

“it may hurt…” he parts your lips, and lets a second finger graze your hot, sticky folds. “but it’s ‘cause you’re squeezing so tight.” he begins to ease that second digit in. sinking it slowly. slowly! he has to remind himself. he’s eager to fit it in. and slowly he’s pushing his way into your pussy. another digit. just one more that’s all he wants. one step closer to preparing you for something bigger.

he can see it in your face that you want to scream. your grip around the chair’s arms tightens and your chest rises with a quickness. because as soon as the finger started creeping its way in your eyes shot open.“‘ren, kiss me, please.” you cry out. tears stream down your face as you beg for eren.

“almost in.” his lips ghost yours. he rest his forehead on yours and when his finger finally pushes past all that resistance, he kisses you. and it feels so heavy. having to keep your mouth shut, to ease the moan that’s desperate to come out. “‘ren — feels good.” you groan into his mouth.

“does it, baby?” a thin line of saliva connects your tongues, “you know that’s all i want.” his tongue dips back into your mouth. your twisted between staying focused on the kiss, and bucking your hips to make eren’s fingers fuck you. they strum and scissor your insides. all that just for you to be undeniably tighter than you were before.

you can feel yourself spiraling more than you were before. the pads of his fingers are gentle, so gentle that it has your thighs shaking. your head’s thrown back on the back of the chair, and you just can’t function. no speaking, no looking — nothing.

and eren feels his dick leaking. hearing how out of breath you are, how you squeal when he hits the right spot with his fingers. he admires you for being so sexy and knowing what you want. how you still look so pretty when you’re on the verge of cumming. even with your mouth hanging open and your eyes crossing. “you’re gonna cum? i can feel you.”

you nod your head and feel yourself just letting go. you cum so hard like always. your thighs tremble before they snap shut and your moans are arousing. you keep them quiet enough just so eren can hear. and he’s gonna get more out of you. he curls his fingers up and tightens his hand around your hip. “you know what i want.” you jerk in his chair. you cling to his arms and beg him to be gentle. but he can’t.

he wants you crying out. make you feel bad for not letting him fuck you how he wants. he can be a little selfish. instead of his fingers, he’s imagining that it’s his dick that you're cumming around. squeezing this tightly on. clamping so harshly on. it gets his dick throbbing harder than he can imagine. all the fucking blood in his body is in his dick. little spurts of liquid gush out of your pussy. each one growing with more intensity as his fingers keep stroking your insides. “yesss, mhmm right there.”

“uh huh, good girl.” he praises with low eyes. he’s running his tongue over his lips, as you squirt from all that pressure, all that pleasure. “i knew you could take it.” he kisses your cheeks, and slowly takes his fingers out of you. they’re covered in a thick layer of arousal, and he’s gonna use it. he’s thinking about it. pulling his pants down and using it as lube to… y’know what.

#eren yeager #eren yaeger smut #eren jaeger #eren yeager x reader smut #eren jaeger x reader smut #eren x black reader #eren x reader #eren smut

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jamespotterismydaddy · 6 months

Text

Attention Seeker

Stepdad!daemon x reader

A/N: this can be read as a oneshot or as part of the daddys girl series. This was also slightly based off of a request here. Also I’m very proud of this so appreciate it🙏😭

TW: SMUT SMUT SMUT, somnophilia (in a way), innocence kink, stepcest, angst to fluff, body worship, daddy kink, light bondage

word count: 2,247 (this is the longest thing I’ve ever written which in slightly embarrassing)

HANDS (I’m going crazy)

You and Daemon are in a strange routine for a stepdaughter and stepfather, you piss him off, he fucks you, rinse and repeat. You don’t mind the routine, it’s almost the only way you can get his attention, but you take it a step further this time.

You don’t know if it’s cheating, per se, when you bring home a boy from school. Jake always seemed to have a thing for you and teenage boys are horny. You aren’t even sure if you care about the whole cheating thing (if that’s what it is). When you get into Daemon’s mansion, you take Jake by the hand and lead him to the kitchen. Daemon is sitting there when you arrive, a glass of crimson red wine in his hand. He eyes Jake emotionlessly, clearly curious about who he is but not curious enough to give you the satisfaction of asking.

“This is Jake.” You say anyhow as you grab a bag of chips from the pantry.

“A friend?” Your stepfather asks, not looking concerned in the slightest.

“Something like that.” You say with just enough suggestion in your voice. You want to make his skin crawl. Even if he’d never show it.

“Nice to meet you, sir.” Jake says playfully. The ‘sir’ clearly isn’t said with the utmost respect. Daemon doesn’t even give him a glance in response.

You roll your pretty, sweet eyes and pull Jake up the stairs to your bedroom. You make it so that Daemon can hear just what the two of you are getting up to. You want him to know you can get pleasure elsewhere. You want him to be livid. You want him to explode. When you walk Jake out and press a kiss to his cheek, it’s exactly what you expect, anger. But it’s not what you’re given.

“Have a busy night, little girl?” He asks, eying your messy hair. It doesn’t feel like he’s flirting though. It feels like he just sees you as a dumb child. You keep silent and when you can’t come up with a response, he speaks again. “Go to bed then. You look… tired.” You almost think he’s judging you; you know he’s judging you. Feeling frustrated, you go up to your room again just like he suggests.

You act up a numerous amount of times over the next week, trying desperately to get him to see you, acknowledge what you need from him. He never gives in or punishes you in any way. You feel desperate at this point. So, you try to work your way into tempting him once again.

You fill up the massive clawfoot tub in his bathroom with hot water and bubbles. You then tie your hair up loosely in a bun before stripping down and stepping in. The water calms you and the fact that you’re doing this in Daemon’s bathroom excites you.

It isn’t more than 10 minutes before he returns home. He doesn’t call out for you, just makes his way upstairs and into his bathroom. Your stepfather doesn’t notice you right away but as he is loosening his tie, he catches your gaze in the mirror. If he is surprised, he doesn’t show it.

“Having a nice soak, little one?” He asks and you’re just happy that he’s decided to speak to you.

“It would be better if you joined me, Daemon.” You say as sensually as you can manage.

“I’m alright.” He says and walks out.

You’re upset by the rejection and you get out of the bath, wrapping a towel around you so you can follow him. He begins to undress in his walk-in closet.

“Perhaps I can help you relax.” You say softly and drop to your knees in front of him.

Your towel falls in a heap around your hips as you use your hands to unbuckle his belt. He looks disinterested as you take his cock out from his trousers and he doesn’t even say a word as you take him in your mouth. You feel feverish as you suck him off, trying to pull a reaction out of him. He stays looking bored as you work his cock vigorously. When he grabs you by the back of your hair, you feel hopeful, thinking he is going to take control but he doesn’t. He yanks your head off him so roughly that you fall to your bum.

“Gods, it’s like you’re trying to suck the skin off my cock.” He rolls his eyes and zips his pants back up, deciding to just keep his work trousers on. He leaves you in the closet and walks downstairs. You follow him like a hopeless little puppy.

“Why don’t you want me anymore?” You ask angrily as he sits in his armchair with his book, his reading glasses just put on. He sighs.

“If you would like a quick fuck, baby, then go ask Jake.”

So he is upset about that. You think to yourself.

“So you’re threatened by a teenage boy?” You scoff at him.

“Don’t act so high and mighty when less than two minutes ago, you were on your knees and begging for my cock.” He says in that same unconcerned tone.

“I-I was hardly begging.” You protest weakly because you know how true his words are.

“Why would I want such a silly little slut anyhow? Who knows what you got fucking all those other boys. Tell me, did you let Jake hit it raw?” He says so cruelly that tears spring to your eyes. You rush out of the room and up the stairs.

“Fuck.” He murmurs, knowing he went too far.

He rubs his temples, hearing the quiet sobs coming from your bedroom. Your stepfather knows he should treat you more gently. He gives you a minute to yourself before walking up the stairs and knocking.

“What?” You ask abrasively as he walks in.

“I apologize for what I said. You’re no slut and you can fuck who you please.” His jaw clenches at the last sentence. He clearly doesn’t want you fucking other people.

“I don’t want to fuck anyone else and you ignore me so often. How would I even know if you like me?” You sniffle.

He comes and sits beside you. “Oh baby, of course I like you.” He runs his fingers through your hair. “I didn’t mean to neglect my little girl.”

He takes the towel that is wrapped around you like a safety blanket and pulls it away. You immediately try to grab it back but he doesn’t let you. He then pulls you to your feet.

“No, let me look at you.” He doesn’t just look though. No, he touches you as well. Daemon’s hands trace down your sides and over your breasts, between your thighs. “Such a sweet thing. I want you to be only for me. Do you understand?” You nod timidly. “And I’ll be only for you.” You look pleased at this but also a little in dream land as he drops to his knees.

Daemon hooks an arm around your left thigh and spreads your legs a little so he can begin to eat you out. He goes very slowly, giving very much attention to everywhere but your pearl and you have to hold onto his hair to anchor yourself. You grind against his face a little to try and get the attention onto your pearl. He chuckles from between your thighs and begins to suck right where you want him to.

“Ah ah…” You let out quiet little moans and he rubs up and down your thigh for comfort.

You tug on his hair harder now as he uses his tongue to try and coax your peak out of you. He works his mouth a little faster now, knowing how close you are. You can feel it building more, and more… until you fall over the edge, your legs trembling as the high washes over you. He moves his tongue slowly now, so he can help you come down off it peacefully.

“Good girl.” He says as he parts his mouth from your folds, his lips shining with your wetness. “That silly boy never made you feel so good, did he?” You flush in a way that he wasn’t expecting, like you’re hiding something. “What is it, princess? Did he not make you cum?” He asks, still on his knees for you so he can press fluttering kisses to your abdomen.

“I um… we didn’t.” You start.

“Oh honey, did he even touch you? Did you let him take those pretty panties off?” He only has to look at your face to know the answer. “Then what were those sounds coming from your room?”

“I grinded on him a bit.” You say softly.

“Did you make the poor boy cum in his boxers?” He asks with a chuckle as he stands, causing you to look up at him.

You nod.

“I hardly believe a little dry humping was making you moan like that.” He says.

“I might have exaggerated so you’d hear.” You say bashfully.

“I thought so. You did all that to get daddy’s attention? Seven hells, baby, you need to learn to just ask.” He says as he holds your chin and runs a finger over your lips.

“Okay.” You say submissively.

“Who knew such an innocent looking thing would need to be fucked so badly.” He murmurs. “Go lay on my bed and wait for me.” He says and you quickly scurry off to his room.

He makes you wait for a while, grabbing some nice ribbon that would be strong enough to restrain you. When he enters his room, you’re lying on your tummy, clutching a pillow.

“On your back, hands above your head.” He commands and you listen carefully and obey.

He then brings out the ribbon to tie your wrists together and to the headboard. “Does that hurt?”

“No.” You say as you shake your head.

He hmms in approval and parts your thighs again so he can eat you once more. You’re surprised by this, not sure how much he thinks you can take.

Once Daemon gets a second orgasm out of you, he strips down himself.

“I just… need a moment.” You say, all dazed but he puts a hand to your folds and begins to rub slowly.

“No.” He says a little coldly. “You don’t get a moment.”

You try to pull your hips away as he rubs his tip against your pearl but no amount of squirming can keep him from you.

“Daddy…” you whimper out, not knowing really if it’s a plea for more or a plea for him to stop. You can’t form the thoughts to actually care either way.

“Shhh, little girl. I know what you need.” He slips himself inside of you and you’re so slick that it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it usually does. You just feel a dull sort of ache as you take him in.

He cants his hips against yours again and again, the gentle thrusts stirring something up in your tummy. He leaves your pearl alone now but it doesn’t stop the sensation, like a coil winding up in your tummy. You’ve never considered that you could peak from penetration alone but as he lazily moves his cock in and out of you, you know that it’ll be the case today. Daemon looks surprised as well as he sees that glaze in your eyes you get when you’re close. He stopped the stimulation to draw out your pleasure but realizes that it’s likely that the smallest touches from him right now would cause you to peak.

“Are you going to cum, baby?” He asks you gently.

You just gaze up at him dreamily in response. He then feels you clench around him, watches your face screw up a bit as you squirm again. He knows he should probably stop, he could just pump himself and finish on your tummy, but he doesn’t. He keeps thrusting into you, fucking you through the high and then some. The overstimulation has you tugging on the ribbons that hold you.

“Just a little longer.” He says to assure you.

“It’s too much…” You mewl out.

He keeps his steady thrusts and you feel yourself slipping away, the touch on your pearl not even bringing you back to reality. He cums inside you and the gooey warm feeling makes you peak a fourth time but your drowsiness has your eyes feeling heavy.

“Oh, baby.” He coos out as you fall into sleep.

You don’t feel what happens next, how he unties you or wipes you down gently with a cloth. He lets you sleep for a half hour before waking you up with light strokes to your hair.

“How do you feel?” He asks as your vision unblurs.

“Tired.” You say.

“You just woke up.” He says with a light, breathy chuckle. “My sleeping beauty.”

“Lay with me for a while longer?” You ask but it’s not really a question.

Daemon could never deny you when you’re like this so he gets under the warm, fluffy covers with you. You cling to him like a koala, resting your head on his chest so you can hear him breathe. You both are more than content to lay like this. You want to absorb into him but for now you can settle on feeling the rise and fall of his chest.

Taglist(comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy

Daddy’s girl: @mukduk-not-murder @imaegonstargaryenswife0 @thefallenangel21n @ajthefujoshi

#daemon #daemon Targaryen #daemon smut #daemon targaryen smut #hotd #hotd smut #daemon x you #daemon targeryen x reader #daddy daemon #stepdad!daemon #stepdad smut

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