#there’s literally like six of use today against I think about 30 other singers

[foldingfittedsheets]

Oh my god. The choir class I’m in is heavily weighted toward lower spectrum voices in general, something something, tech school being predominantly male. But we usually have enough tenors to hold our own.

Today we’re down like four tenors and I’m like. Deer in the headlights. Those of us remaining are trying to compete against tenors, bass, and baritone with several magnitudes more singers than we have. The director is making so much eye contact with me because there’s just no one else to look at over here and the other alto is dying under the pressure.

#ramblies #one of the other two altos looked back at me at one point and I panicked #am I off key??? I can’t even tell because the low notes are completely overwhelming our tiny corner #there’s literally like six of use today against I think about 30 other singers #at least I know all the words to good riddance now #that helped since it’s the one song I’m confident on

[gayenerd]

Green Day Deals with the "Rock Star" Dookie 

by Tom Lanham 

(First appeared in BAM Magazine, March 10, 1995)

 Young, loud, and snotty equals beaucoup bucks? What pencil-pushing, graph-charting trend spotter could've predicted it? But the facts speak for themselves: As of late February, Dookie--the brattish, snap 'n' snarl Reprise salvo from Berkeley's sloppy punk trio, Green Day--has sold six million copies. Six million. Chances are, somebody on your block is jumping up and down in his living room at this very moment to the scrap-metal power chords and ardent apathy of "Longview," "Burnout," "Basket Case," or "When I Come Around" and getting lost in the teen abandon of these testy 22-year-olds--weasel-voiced, Montgomery-Clift-like charismatic singer/guitarist Billie Joe; tom-tom tribal percussionist Tre Cool (of the ever-morphing hair-color fame); and bassist Mike Dirnt (who survived Green Day's appearance at Woodstock '94, although several of his teeth did not). 

Yes, punk rock is a marketable phenomenon these days, leaving many involved with the music's initial late-'70s, early-'80s wave scratching their heads, wondering why it didn't take the first time around. Public reaction started as curiosity ("Hey, honey, c'mere and lookit these goofy, green-haired little whippersnappers in an insane asylum on MTV!"), but spiraled up to rock-diet necessity (Green Day just won Grammy and they're nominated for quite a few Bammies as well, including such categories as Outstanding Group, Outstanding Album, and Outstanding Song--"Longview" and "Basket Case"). The fact that they've been nominated at all probably sends a shiver up the old dinosaur backbones of Eddie Money, Huey Lewis, and Boz Scaggs, a time-creepy feeling of "Gee, what the hell do we do now?" Because this isn't just some flash-in-the-pan punk movement, folks--this is a youth movement; Green Day are, as they hiply term it, "bored in the 'burbs," and reaching out, through TV and radio, like some prodigal preachers to other American kids who sense the same slacker ennui. Obviously, we're talking truckloads of kids. 

Ironically, the more fame edges into the Green Day ruffians' lives, the more mature they seem to become. They've turned down all interview requests as of late, even People magazine, preferring to lay low until this tide of interest recedes. Billie Joe got married last autumn, and spent his honeymoon--not in any exotic, expensive locale--but in Berkeley's grand old Claremont Hotel. Cool recently became a father, and Billie Joe's child is due any day now. It's a responsibility they've both eagerly undertaken. Rob Cavallo, the boys' coproducer and A&R man at Reprise, swears they're "old souls, the smartest young kids I've ever met." It rings true. 

The first time I spoke with Green Day, in January of '94, Cool, Dirnt, and Billie Joe were lazing around their dingy basement apartment in Berkeley, sitting on chairs and couches with potentially painful springs poking through. Rock 'n' roll bubblegum cards were scattered across a coffee table, along with several bongs of various sizes, plus a four-and-a-half foot red plastic pipe dubbed "Bongzilla" leaned against a doorway. The only wall decoration, besides a Ren & Stimpy poster, was a Twister game mat nailed up in its entirety, presumably for high-schoolish humor's sake. 

When I'd met Billie Joe a few months earlier at a campus concert, his hair was dyed lime-green and featured squidlike tufts. Now it was dark brown, with only two tufts remaining, and both his ears and nose had piercings. Periodically during the interview, he'd ram a finger into that pierced nostril, rummage around, then stare idly at the resultant booger before flicking it on to the carpet. Cool wandered out of the rec room for several minutes, but returned, red-eyed, to proudly proclaim, "Lookit me! I'm stoned, dude!" Dirnt--when he wasn't strumming an acoustic guitar--kept watching their windowsill Sea Monkey tank, finally noting, "Hey, these Sea Monkeys look just like sperm!" 

Despite all these schoolboy, poo-poo wit trappings (dookie, after all, is kiddie slang for excrement), there was a sense of seasoned wisdom about them, a feeling that they were, as Cavallo postulated, truly old souls. Like the class clown who frustrates all of his teachers by also maintaining a 4.0 grade average, Green Day can afford to play because their work--brilliantly skewed three-minute pop songs, delivered with such vehemence and vitriol you don't dare doubt them--certainly speaks for itself. But, sooner or later, of course, the band has to speak for itself, too, so what follows is a set of excerpts from that first ratty-digs meeting, as well as a later chat with Billie Joe, sans sidekicks. How did Green Day take over the rock world in less than a year? That's the six-million-copy question, and hopefully we'll provide a few answers. 

* * * 

So punk is back, whether America likes it or not? 

BILLIE JOE: It's always been around, and everyone has their own interpretation of it. It's weird to actually call it "punk" again, when it's been there all the time. 

MIKE DIRNT: It's been springing up in little suburban areas, where people grab it and express themselves. 

TRE COOL: It's people who make a point of setting aside all responsibilities and just playing music. And doing fat joint after fat joint--you have to let go of things like paying rent, going to school, having a job. 

BJ: And, if you can't tell by my house, we don't have a very high standard of living. 

How does today's punk rock differ from its late-'70s cousin?

 BJ: I think it was all about art and fashion back then, really, because everyone who was a punk in England was in art school. I read an early interview with Dee Dee Ramone, where he said he wished the Ramones had more of a glamorous appeal, too, instead of playing in jeans and leather jackets. But it was definitely about fashion, until the Clash really brought out the political side. Our music came from being bored in the 'burbs. You get put in this high school situation, where you're learning someone else's rules in a room with 30 other people that you don't really like. There's nothing interesting about it whatsoever, so you pick up a guitar instead. 

But you all tried college, at least for awhile, right? 

MD: And then we started touring. Constantly. 

TC: So most of our reading now comes from highway signs. 

MD: It's the old grasshopper and the ant story. The thought of actually working is just so... 

TC: Sickening! 

MD: Yeah. So we put everything we had into not working. This is what I do best, and I was always told, "If you're gonna do something, do it the best you can." So why not do the best thing you can, too? 

You guys--at least Mike and Billie Joe--have known each other since you were 10? 

BJ: And the first conversation we ever had was about writing songs. And then we just started playing music. 

A lot of the stuff on your early Lookout! records shows what was on your mind at the time--namely, girls. 

BJ: That was pretty much the viewpoint of a 16-year-old kid. I don't write stuff like that anymore. The new songs are more about coming of age and being apathetic and neurotic.

 Where were your parents when you were touring [at age 16]? 

MD: At work, doing their own thing. 

BJ: My mom's worked a waitress job for like the past 40 years or something, and whatever I was doing was OK with her. 

MD: I moved out when I was 15, and I worked all the way through high school. 

BJ: And me, I've never held a job longer than two weeks. I tried to flip pizzas--it didn't work. I tried cleaning toilets in the Red Onion in El Sobrante. Me and TrŽ, we used to work for the SF Chronicle, selling papers. I sold three the first day, and the next day we just smoked pot, and we smoked pot the next day after that. So we had hella extra papers lying around. Our ultimate goal wasn't to get rich or famous or anything like that. It was to not have a regular job and not be miserable. 

MD: And I've lived in every city around here, except for Albany. Literally. And one thing we want to establish about ourselves is that we're just a bunch of geeks from the suburbs. 

Well, one of the first times I saw you, you guys were closing your set with Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger." That's pretty geeky. 

MD: I grew up on radio--that's all I had. When I was a little kid, I couldn't afford records. I'll tell you, I've been down to a dollar in my pocket a lot of times. I've even lived in my truck. I can remember shooting rats with a BB gun in the flat we used to live in, before they'd make it to our food. 

BJ: I've always been really good about saving. If I got some money, I'd put it away instead of spending it, and I'd buy ramen. 

Why name your disc Dookie? 

TC: Warner's said we could do anything we want, as long as we didn't say "Cop Killer." 

BJ: Somebody told our manager that the ad for it was the most tasteless thing they'd ever seen in Billboard magazine. 

What exactly do you mean on Dookie by "Welcome to Paradise"? 

BJ, MD, TC [in unison]: West Oakland! 

MD: Living in West Oakland, and going out to parties every night. 

So it cost, what, around $100,000 to make Dookie? 

MD: Yeah. We kept the advances low, because you gotta pay all that shit back. Everyone knows you can't become an instant millionaire just by signing, because there are so many people that want a piece of you. 

BJ: We hang out with mostly punks though, and they don't want anything we have. They could care less. And a lot of our friends don't even agree with us being on a major label. 

Is Green Day angry? 

BJ: No, I'm not angry, like, walking around all the time with a frown on my face. But the way my music is interpreted is very angry. 

MD: When you feel really strongly about something, you want to let it out in the most powerful way possible. 

Like the way you baited your old high school principal from the Warfield stage recently? 

MD: I think he was an asshole. He treated me with no respect. And for high school initiation, we got our heads shaved--that's the kind of small-town shit we had to deal with! Sometimes they made you push a penny up the street with your nose. But that's life, and anywhere you go, you're gonna hate a lot of shit in your life. You'll be handed

Dookie? 

MD: Yeah. Yeah, you'll be handed dookie through all parts of your life. And see, what you need to do is just deal with the dookie, build upon what you have, and make something out of the dookie, you know? Like an adobe dookie building! 

* * * 

Several months later, and Dookie is oozing its gooey way into the public consciousness big time. The fading summer heat sticks crackling to the Berkeley sidewalks as punks--many sporting monstrous green or fuchsia mohawks--zing by on skateboards by day, and huddle in Telegraph Avenue doorways by night, conserving feral body heat the whole time. It feels like another world here, a throwback to the Bay Area's DIY/hardcore scene of the early '80s, when squatters reigned supreme and burlesque Broadway--fueled by all-ages shows at the Mabuhay Gardens, On Broadway, and even an occasional GBH or UK Subs booking at the Stone--made weekend conversions to "Punk Playground, USA." It was the best of times; it was the worst of times--despite relentless touring, most of these bands sold bupkus in the way of records, and few, save Metallica, ever held pen in shaky hand over a major-label contract. 

Billie Joe saunters into the Berkeley coffeehouse in rumpled jeans and a grease-spattered flannel shirt; his once-green-and-tufty tresses have grown out into Wally Cleaver waves and been dyed a Rod Stewarty blond. He looks like one of those feisty punks of yore; like he could hold his own through sheer physical endurance in the wildest of thrash pits. There's a new authority about him, the way he strides confidently to the counter, orders a pint-size glass of coffee, then swims through a sea of late-lunching yuppies to grab a table. The singer doesn't seem to notice them at all. Or maybe he's just too tired from nonstop touring to really give a shit. He smiles a goofy grin, revealing a set of generally crooked or chipped choppers, with an entire half of one front tooth missing. But there's such charisma behind it, the same kind of "Who, me?" innocence that little kids use. Billie Joe, you might say, has quickly become the Bart Simpson of the alternative set. 

How else could you explain his uncensored performance at a certain outdoor arena where--in a hyperspeed set lasting only 30 minutes before management threatened to pull the plug--he a) unzipped his fly and paraded his privates around for all to see; b) handed a stunned fan his beat-up, sticker-plastered guitar and urged him to play it; c) destroyed a $600 microphone by smashing it into the stage, then destroyed a second mike he was handed as well; and d) encouraged half the venue to chant, "Rock 'n' roll!" and the other half to respond with, "Shut the fuck up!" He then closed the show with a proposition--"They'll be really angry with us, but what we could do is rip out the seats!" he told the audience, which promptly gave Green Day a standing ovation. Billie Joe not only shrugs off such shenanigans as artistic license, he gets away with them! He's even encouraged to continue by fans who empathize with his uppity "fuck authority" attitude. 

But the facts were all on the table as Billie Joe sipped his house blend that afternoon, and it didn't take a fortune teller to read 'em. Green Day was hitting big time. Fast. And the sheer enormity of the undertaking, the weight of all its accordant responsibility, was just beginning to hit him. He looked older, wiser, and spoke in more grownup tones about his future, which then included a pending marriage to longtime girlfriend Adrienne. You could practically feel this new maturity encircling him like some protective aura. 

* * * 

=Where do all these punks on Telegraph come from? They can't all be local and homeless. 

I think Telegraph has just become this cultural mecca for punk rockers, because most of 'em who are on the Avenue aren't even from here. They're from Arizona, Minneapolis, New York, Florida. They just come out and end up squatting in houses in Berkeley. Why here? It's the climate, and the scene itself--Gilman Street and Maximum Rock 'n' Roll are in this area, and have a link to each other. But at the same time, it's separated, because there are so many different factions of punk now. There are the squatters, the pop-cores, the mods, the crusties. And all these types of people come out just to check it out. Plus, there's the best coffee in Berkeley, and a lot of 'em are real super coffee-drinkers, just pounding cup after cup all the time. It's pretty rare to come across a punk who doesn't drink coffee. I can't drink too much coffee myself--it gives me the shakes at night, so I just have a little bit during the day. Then I can smoke dope and go to bed. 

=What's the attraction in squatting or homelessness for these kids? 

For a lot of 'em, it's the first sense of freedom that they've had. It's like, "You mean I don't have to be home by midnight?" They've pretty much told their families and schools to go fuck themselves, so they go off and do their own thing. When I was 17, I did the same thing. And I had this total sense of freedom, where no one's telling you what to do, you don't have a clock to punch in on, you don't have people breathing down your neck; you don't have any deadlines to meet. You have this endless schedule where you can stay up all night drinking with your friends, or do anything you want. 

=But isn't "Coming Clean" about leaving behind your wilder ways? 

It's also about coming to grips with your sexuality. There's one line, "Skeletons come to life in my closet." And it's like, "Am I homosexual or heterosexual?" You go through this adolescent stage in your life where you don't really know what you are, and one side is taboo because your parents brought you up to think being gay was wrong. And if you come to grips with yourself, that you happen to be gay or bi or whatever, well, that was one thing about punk that was so accepting--all creeds were welcome, all sexualities, everything. 

=Was this something you went through personally? 

Yeah, to a certain extent. But I don't want to go around waving a gay flag or anything. 

=Well, you had a beautiful girl on your arm backstage at the last Green Day show. 

That's Adrienne. She's cool. Actually, we're engaged. That's why it took me so long getting here today--I had to get this! [Rolls sleeve up on tattooed arm, points to a bandaged-on cotton swab] Blood test, dude! We're getting married next week! 

=Has anybody tried to tell you you're too young for such a serious move? 

Of course. There are a lot of people who've said stuff. My parents have been a little more understanding than her parents. I just called my mom yesterday and said, "Mom, I'm gettin' married," and she said, "That's fine, son. Have fun!" I can hardly surprise my mother nowadays. But [this relationship] has been a recurring thing for the past four years, and we just decided to get serious about it. She's coming out here, and we're moving in together, so it's like, "Why not?" I don't really have any wild oats to sow, or anything like that. I'm not into the "Gettin' chicks all the time" thing.

 =I know a lot of girls who'll be really bummed that you're gittin' hitched. They all seem to have developed a crush on you... 

Me?! It must be the teeth [grins again].

 =OK, so maybe you didn't brush often enough when you were young. But you were busy developing a direction... 

I wouldn't necessarily say I had a direction or anything. I just knew I wanted to write songs. It comes from...uh...I don't know. I have no idea. It wasn't any kind of cosmic force or anything like that; it was just a matter of having a guitar around and wanting to play it all the time. I've had the same guitar since I was 11--I bought it off this guy at a guitar store. And I still play it--you know, the blue one with stickers all over it? That's my blue guitar, and, for some reason, things come to life, and everyone calls it "Blue" now--"Where's Blue? Can I pick up Blue and play it?" 

=And you let just anybody touch it? 

Oh yeah! Blue's not prejudiced. 

=It's interesting to note that the general public seems to think Dookie is your debut. 

Yeah, but that's just the general public. There are people who've been with us since the beginning, who know how long we've been around, since our first 7-inch came out back in '89. 

=And now you can afford to trash pricey microphones. 

Actually, Warner Brothers paid for those. It was pretty nice of 'em. They looked really nice--I remember looking at 'em and thinking, "Nice microphones!" They gave me one mike and I took it and threw it down, and they gave me another, and at the end of the set I creamed it pretty hard, I guess. We toured Europe with this band Die Toten Hosen--we played nine dates with 'em--and we got charged for a microphone every night. I dunno, for some reason we just started smashing shit. We'd start throwing equipment around at the end of each set, and these kids would start grabbing Tre's drum set and throwing it, and then they started smashing the microphones too. And the bouncers just couldn't do anything about it. 

=And you actually yanked your dick out onstage too? 

I did. Totally. It was the real thing. I dunno. The bands that we were playing with were just boring. It was more like making a mockery of the whole thing. The big arena rock thing is just so dated now, like Journey or Queen. Which is why I think punk rock started to begin with--it was this reaction to all the dinosaur bands. So for me, that show was, "How can we make a complete mockery of this but at the same time have fun with it?" I like to leave people guessing, "Did he hate that or did he like that?" It's not that I don't care--it's more that I'm careless. I try to be as happy-go-lucky as I can, but you can become apathetic at the same time. 

=Do you feel like Green Day is a part of, or represents, the so-called "slacker generation"? 

There's one side of me that doesn't mind it, because it's a generational thing, and another side of me that says, "Fuck that!" The reason I wrote the songs is, I ended up going back to Rodeo, where I'm from, for a week. And then I said, "Fuck it," and left. But I managed to get several good songs out of it. A lot of my friends had just turned into complete burnouts. And these are kids I've known since kindergarten, because it's a small town and you know everybody. And it was all fixing cars, staying up all night on methamphetamines, smoking dope, and finding out all these rumors about people I haven't heard of in 10 years. Like, "Oh, did you hear about so-and-so, who got married, had three kids, and ended up shooting everybody in his family?" And it happened! It was a true story! You're there for one week, and you get caught up in it. You get so bored, all you wanna do is watch television. And there are no record stores, nothing around, so you end up hanging out with all these delinquents who aren't punkers at all, just cultural idiots. So I was watching all these people rot and rotting with them until I realized, "Shit! I gotta get the fuck outta here!" 

=As they say, you can never go home again. 

Oh yeah, definitely. Unless you get pregnant, like my sister did. Then you have to go. But I quit school my senior year--I just wasn't getting anything out of it. I was taking nine periods a day, plus night classes, which left me no time to smoke dope whatsoever. And my mom even suggested I drop out, because she was a dropout, too. I come from a long line of dropouts. I still have nightmares about being late with my homework assignments. When I finally went in to sign out of high school, the teacher went, "Now, who are you again?" 

=And if that teacher could see you now! 

A lot of people think you get this big connection with a corporate label, and you make millions of dollars, but they don't understand that you just don't make that much money. And when you do, it's easy to piss it away. I mean, every cent that I've made, I've pissed away. I'm not gonna say how I did it, but I don't have it But I don't think you necessarily have to be a punk to decide to say, "Fuck it." You don't even have to have a direction. It's just a matter of getting the fuck out and exploring things for yourself. 

=But didn't you feel abject terror when you first set out on your own? 

Nah, I didn't. Because, for some reason, I knew things were gonna be all right. You can create your own future as long as karma's on your side. And I'm a strong believer in karma. I think things can come back to you if you're just willing to give. 

* * * 

True enough. At least six million times over!

1995 Tom Lanham

#article #interview #articles #billie joe armstrong

[recordsandrambling]

2018: A Year in Musical Review

As another year comes to a close, so does another year of great music. My five favorites from the year were chosen because of how much they spoke to me on a personal level, as well as my distinction of each as artistically worthy of merit compared to the rest of 2018′s releases. As such, there is definitely a more opinionated focus this year rather than in previous years where I tried to single out more broadly important records. 

Without further ado, I present what I believe to be the five best albums of 2018. 

5. Breaking English - Rafiq Bhatia

Rafiq Bhatia is a guitarist and composer best known for his work in the electronica group Son Lux. He steps away from the electronica approach to put forth an experimental album that’s hard to pin down to one genre. 

Though very much a guitar-driven album, the 30-year-old songwriter fills the rest of the air on his debut full-length for Anti-Records with glitchy soundscapes of jazzy drums, squelching electronics, and soaring Middle Eastern-inspired string sections. Bhatia is able to conjure up such an emotional power in these songs that it would be almost overkill to include vocals--in fact, the one instance of singing on the whole record is on the title track, and it takes a backseat to the lead guitar lick that fronts the arrangement. Breaking English proves that a songwriter doesn’t need to rely on lyrics to convey strong feelings if they find their voice in their instrument. 

Key Tracks: Hoods Up, Breaking English, Perihelion I - I Tried to Scream

4. Mark Kozelek - Mark Kozelek

Mark Kozelek’s self-titled record proves the exact opposite point Breaking English does--great songs don’t need intricate arrangements to leave lasting impressions. Kozelek is in the third iteration of his long career, first as guitarist/singer of slowcore giants Red House Painters, then as sad crooning folk singer with Sun Kil Moon, and now as a rambling storyteller across multiple albums either solo, with a collaborator, or still as Sun Kil Moon. This particular release finds a melancholy-as-ever Mark recording guitar loops in hotels across his travels in the US and playing them out for upwards of 12 minutes as he sing-talks stories from his youth, gripes with the modern world, and funny everyday interactions with other people. It’s a daunting project, reaching 90 minutes in length over just 11 songs, but its dreamy and beautiful soundscapes hide nuggets of relatable realism across its dozens of sheets of lyrics that an intensive listener will dig up and savor.

I came to appreciate just how funny much of this album truly is after seeing Mark live in Philadelphia earlier this year. He manages to supply moments of absurd silliness like the chanting of “diarrhea” in the background of highlight The Mark Kozelek Museum along with humurous observations such as the back-and-forth between him and a barista who doesn’t recognize Mark despite Sun Kil Moon playing in the background of the coffeeshop on Weed Whacker. Kozelek himself even laughs on record after the umpteenth rhyme of “overanalyzing” on My Love For You Is Undying. 

Give this one a listen, even if just for the experience. 

Key Tracks: The Mark Kozelek Museum, Weed Whacker, My Love For You Is Undying

3. God’s Favorite Customer - Father John Misty

Singer-songwriter Josh Tillman returns for his second album is as many years, abandoning the grandiose critiques on modern society of 2017′s Pure Comedy in favor of much more personal tunes that were born out of a six-week stint of alcoholism and depression spent in a New York hotel. 

God’s Favorite Customer is a deeply reflective folk-rock album, touching on drunken conversations with hotel attendants on Mr. Tillman, dealing with outside criticism during times of serious personal turmoil on Hangout at the Gallows, and even reciting terrified pleas from his wife to quit his destructive behavior on Please Don’t Die. As usual, Tillman’s sharp, witty lyricism soften the emotional blows a bit, while his soulful voice and knack for melody make his pain extremely catchy. 

However, this is the most direct and vulnerable Tillman has ever appeared on an album, allowing two tracks to strip away the larger-than-life instrumentation to showcase simplistic voice-and-piano balladry on The Palace and The Songwriter. This newfound versatility shows that the enigmatic character of Father John Misty has many more tricks up his sleeve to grace future releases. 

Key Tracks: Mr. Tillman, Hangout at the Gallows, Please Don’t Die

2. Year of the Snitch - Death Grips

Just when I thought the genre-bending experimental trio couldn’t push their sound any further, Death Grips found a way to combine the bravado and flair of hip-hop with fist-pumping dance rhythms and the raw strength of heavy rock, all the while somehow still managing to have it sound cohesive. Year of the Snitch plays out like a rave held at a warped circus thanks to the outlandish production of Andy Morin and the sputtering drumming of Zach Hill. Vocalist Ride acts as the ringmaster to centralize the shitshow, shouting oblique references to demons and satanic urges at the top of his lungs into your horrified and confused face. 

Thematically, this record is deeply connected to two entities: Charles Manson and the Rolling Stones. Death Grips utilized Manson quotes and references on previous albums directly, whereas Year of the Snitch keeps the influence one person removed. The “snitch” in the album’s title is Linda Kasbian, the key witness who testified against Manson. She is referred to multiple times in the album. On the song Hahaha, Ride roars “69′s and the bitches shout,” referring to her age and the act of testifying. Another is the more pointed song title Linda’s In Custody. 

The Rolling Stones’ reference are also more overt. The album’s cover is an homage to the classic Stones logo and the song Black Paint is a clear attempt to update the rock classic Paint It Black. 

These ideas meld into the central theme of this album: fear. Death Grips has always played with darkness and death, but it is on Year of the Snitch where they face it head on. Ride paints portraits of his dead body getting feasted on by insects on Flies, chants “I’m always thinking finally” on the aforementioned Black Paint, and even titles the jazzy, spastic ode to suicide The Fear after his inner monologue while on the verge of jumping to his demise. 

More curiously, the mentioning of satanism, murder, suicide, darkness and fear parallels how blatantly self-referential this record is. The lead track is titled Death Grips is Online. Andrew Adamson, the director of Shrek, makes an appearance on a spoken word intro to Dilemma about how the trio has quite literally run into a dilemma in the middle of recording. Finally, they tack one more song onto the record after the supposed Outro, and name it Disappointed in preparation for the assumed critical response to the record. 

This dichotomy between fear and self-reference leads me to conclude that Death Grips recognize that their art will be better appreciated after their mortal existence. While they are certainly an experimental force in modern music, they aren’t viewed under the same era-defining lens that other critically-lauded artists are. Instead, the men of Death Grips are content to remain ever mysterious in the shadows of popular music, putting out album after album of mind-bending masterpiece until the music world realizes too late that the artist of their generation was hiding in the snarky corners of the dark web the whole time. 

Key Tracks: Black Paint, The Fear, Dilemma

1. Some Rap Songs - Earl Sweatshirt

Music critics lauded Earl Sweatshirt as a rap savant of sorts back in the early 2010s when he was just a teen, before his abrupt disappearance from Odd Future’s output spawned proclamations of “Free Earl” that could be heard from every corner of the internet. Upon returning to the spotlight in 2012 on OF posse-cut-turned-swan-song Oldie, it was apparent that the young lyrical phenom was no longer fitting in with the quirky, obnoxious LA group anymore. His debut album Doris tried to keep up appearances, but the introspection that always laid the foundation for his passages eventually came completely out on 2015′s appropriately named I Don’t Like Shit I Don’t Go Outside. Turned out that young shock rapper Earl was sent to a school for at-risk youth during his absence half a decade earlier, and it altered his perspective on the world around him. 

In 2018, three years after the world’s first introduction to his darker side, Earl gives us Some Rap Songs, a 25-minute fifteen track masterstroke of lo-fi hip-hop. Less angry and outspoken this time around, Earl instead finds himself professing morose reflections about the death of his father, the stresses of the spotlight, getting high to unsuccessfully fight depression, and how money has changed him and his friends. He gets some help from underground New York City rappers and producers to create a gritty soundscape not unlike the city they hail from.

It never feels like Earl is rapping above the music. He’s rapping with the music, forgoing big room reverb and instead burying his introspective lyrics beneath crackling soul samples in hopes of letting the production take the reins. Thanks to the short song lengths and seamless transitions, the album flows more like one whole piece rather than fifteen individual tracks. The popping vinyl records that make up the samples make the beats feel alive, a welcome contrast to the synthetic trap that underlines pop culture today. It’s this organic sound that reveals that Earl isn’t professing his grief at you. He’s sharing it with you, hoping to relate his experience to any listener going through similar troubles.

“Peace to every crease on your brain,” he spits on Veins. “Bend we don’t break, we not the bank,” he hopes out loud on The Bends. These aren’t just lyrics, they’re mantras he’s hoping will replace any leftover Free Earl’s that thrust him into the unforgiving limelight. 

The album hits its emotional peak over the final three tracks. Playing Possum overlays a powerful recording of his recently deceased father Keorapetse Kgositsile reciting his poem Anguish Longer Than Sorrow alongside a keynote speech performed by his mother, UCLA law professor Cheryl Harris. It’s a touching nod to where he came from, and upon discovering the root of his existence, it makes sense that he’s blossomed into the influential artist he is today. 

But then the sweet sentiment fades into the abrasive Peanut. Its claustrophobic beat projects the image of Earl stuck in an air conditioning unit, anxiously describing burying a father that felt like a stranger to him until only recently. At the end of its 74-second run time, he directly references the final cut with the last line on the album: “my Uncle Hugh.” It is within the upbeat jazz instrumental performed by his late father’s friend Hugh Masekela titled Riot! where I realize that even though Earl can’t get out of this pit of despair, he’s attempting to find hope within the one thing he finds solace in: music. 

Key Tracks: Veins, The Bends, Playing Possum

Thanks for reading, and Happy New Year!

--CHRIS

PS: Be the Cowboy is overrated as heck.

Honorable Mentions (in no particular order):

Veteran - Jpegmafia

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

boygenius (EP) - boygenius

What Happens When I Try to Relax - Open Mike Eagle

Time ‘n’ Place - Kero Kero Bonito

iridescence - Brockhampton

ye - Kanye West

DAYTONA - Pusha T

Wide Awake! - Parquet Courts

Twin Fantasy - Car Seat Headrest

#bestof #music #2018 #earl sweatshirt #mark kozelek #father john misty #rafiq bhatia #death grips #records and rambling #list #albums #records

[prinxiety-logicalitysanderssides]

1-97 NOW ITS UR TURN I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS MY MAIN U GOTTA SUFFER TOO

I. BLOODY. DID. IT. ITS TAKEN ME /TWO DAYS/ BUT I’VE DONE IT @princeyandanxiety and I’m tagging @use-it-ironically Ironi u do it too pls. I was subjected to this after I subjected Bella to this so now u have to.

Btw this is NSFW ( some of it) and mentions suicide/depression cause I went there. There is some serious truth tea in this god damnit. I put thought and love into this. And also memes but mostly LOVE and boredom. I also feel like I forgot to answer a question or two but whatever. This is 97 questions long. And it’s 2818 words.

By the end of this, you will understand that I am a wreck

Ask me things1. What’s your middle name? No.

2. What are you listening to right now? The sound of typing cause I’m not listening to music. Also the sound of my breath and the wind in the trees. V/ relaxing. (( that was yesterday, today I’m listening to MCR and sanders Sides videos at a loud volume on chromecast on my tv))

3. What was the last thing you ate? ¼ of a cup of icing sugar. I ate it out of the measuring cup lmao.

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mum. I do talk to other people, I swear! I’m just not good at phone calls

5. Do you drink? No and I won’t in the future. Lemonade all the way if I have to drink smth.

6. Do you smoke? No and I never ever will.

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Someone as in??? Random or??. In Randoms I usually notice people’s faces and then clothes, especially if they’re eye catching. I notice memorabilia/fan stuff pretty quickly as well.

8. What is your hair color? Brown but I use hair dye to make it partially blue or purple or red sometimes. It doesn’t work very well unless I bleach my hair and I can’t do that till I’m 16 which sucks. I use hair spray every now and again, I have white hair spray and glitter hair spray, and I used to have blue as well. Glitters my favourite . I also have a full rainbow of hair chalk but my friends and I dropped it at one point during the Hair Incident of Grade Eight which is what I’m calling it now.

9. What is your eye color? Blue/Grey ish. 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope. My mum says I will if I keep looking at my screen for hours on end though. I don’t want glasses cause my 20/20 vision is serving me well and I like it.

11. Dogs or cats? Rabbits.

12. What’s your favorite animal? Rabbits/see above

13. What’s your favorite television show? Gilmore girls. Hands down the best.

14. What’s your favorite movie? I don’t really have one? Princess Bride, Sound of Music and the Captain America movies. Oh and Heathers.

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? I can’t choose but Alessia Cara comes to mind? Scars to your Beautiful? And MCR. And Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. I’m an emo nightmare tbh

16. How old are you? Bich no u can guess. I’m a minor tho.

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? No. But I want a girlfriend/datemate ( all the boys my age are awful and the girls/nonbinary people r better)

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual. To keep it simple anyway.

19. What’s your favorite color? Aqua blue/ the green of Australian forests

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Going up on stage in like,, grade six, for a talent show, that I decided to volunteer for THAT DAY and literally singing which is fine but I kept shuffling not dancing and the other kid I was doing it with was kinda dancing and we fucking sucked. But I’m at a different school half the city away now thank god.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Characters in stories, yeah, but like, I want to be in their universe, with their mind and my mind combined so I’m more them than me but I also remember that I want to give people a piece of my mind and fix the universe and make everyone happy but also have angst before that. I project a lot tbh. Oh well.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? I ran away from the class a lot, a ‘difficult’ and 'problem’ child. I have ADHD.

23. What would your dream house be like? Huge, I would want to have lots of pets and secret rooms and a big library and have it surrounded by country side and let scouts have camps near by and stuff

24. What last made you laugh? There were a few things but I forgot damn. But probably my bunnies antics I swear they r ridiculous sometimes( all the time) (( that was yesterday, today its sanders Sides videos again whoops))

25. What is your favorite word ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) its called a Lenny and I love it

26. What is your least favorite word? Poo. Or moist. Both are awful.

27. What turns you on? Coffee when I wake up

28. What turns you off? Sleeping pills

29. What is your star sign? Aquarius

30. What are your favorite books? TAMORA PIERCE’S 'The circle of Magic ’ quartet and all of its sequels and Tamora Pierces 'The Lionness’ quartet and her 'Protector of the small’ quartet, really, all of her books. Also the Obernewtyn series which is FUCKING AMAZING. ITS BY AN AUSSIE AUTHOR, ISOBELLE CARMODY WHO IVE MEET TWICE AND THEY R SMAZINGSOWNFKEFKWJCKD YES.

31. Do you have any siblings? Only child, suck it.

32. Do you like to dance?Yes, but I’m not a professional or up to date with the latest ~moves~

33. What is your definition of cheating? This is hard cause my definition is in my head but it’s hard to explain. I’m gonna try though.( ACTUALLY I’m gonna come back and write this later) (( lmao I never did go back and write this but it basically depends on what people in a relationship have agreed it to mean bc I’m tired and this is complicated))

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No I’ve never dated anyone.

35. Do you regret anything? A few things. Not gonna get into them tho. I do regret not working harder in grade seven and eight.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really no. I hate leeches with a fiery passion and there are spiders next to my shower which I don’t like but other than that, no.

37. Ever broken any bones? No and I’d like to understand what it feels like tbh

38. Ever come close to death? When I walk anywhere cause I’m yes. Does being suicidal back when I was eleven count? And the fact it recurs every now and again? Also

39. What is your religion, if any? I piece together my own world view, based on many philosophies and science.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? I’m going to one rn actually. School counsellor who is great and has lollipops and also let my friends and I play monopoly in her office all lunch. I lost. The bell was about to go so I just flipped the board upside down cause why not? My friends made me clean it up lmao 41. Are looks important in a relationship? Depends

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? I pray I’m more like my mum as my dad is an awful person tbh

43. What is your favorite season? Whichever one I’m not sneezing in/ when it’s warm/ I don’t really have one

44. Do you have any tattoos? No 45. Do you have any piercings? I did have normal ear piercings but they grew over

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? None

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Have you met me

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Thomas Sanders

49. Are you a virgin? Again, have you meet me. YES. Obviously.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Define 'jealous’. I mean, kind of. Not usually.

51. What is your favorite type of food? Pasta.

52. Do you ever want to get married?Depends, I mean, LGBT marriage isn’t legal in Australia for whatever fucking stupid reason ( the reason is homophobic pollies, literally 90% of Australia wants fucking gay marriage goddamnit)

53. Who was your first kiss with? Lmao I haven’t had one

54. Have you ever been cheated on? See above

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? ?'not sure tbh?

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extroverted introvert. I like meeting people and i have lots of friends but I also need my space. I’m an introvert.

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? After seeing the 'thingu’ video, I hope not. I do believe in other life but not as sentient as us? Well, at least I don’t think we will find any sentient aliens now that we elected trump tbh

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?Be a great dancer?

59. What is your saddest memory? Not today Satan

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can find someone aesthetically pleasing at first sight, at first talk, you can like them for their personality. So kind of? But not really. Movie love sucks tho. Unrealistic.

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Kind of. I wish we had a soulmate au irl

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? See above ( yes)

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?I don’t really look at gossip so??? No? They could be talking about me all the time lmao I got bullied from 11-13 years old but that’s different and now I can’t be fucking bothered to listen to bullies

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?Depending on the circumstances. I’m not evil. Very rarely would I ever do that and I have never actually done that.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? . My teachers think I have asbergers(autism) and I agree but my parents don’t . NSFW as hell?? I mean most people would look at my chumb face and think I’m innocent i would guess. . I want a datemate? Like I haven’t really acknowledged that but like every opnow and again this Year and

66. Who are you jealous of? People who get more likes than me

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?Yes, but only if my bed is clean IE It has been washed within the last week. Sometimes I don’t wash my sheets for a month and i don’t want to subject my Rabbit toy to that. She’s thirty-nine years old.

68. How long was your longest relationship? No

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?Half empty, I drank half the water.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Nsfw fanfiction for sanders sides. Nah, I don’t really know as I’m still in high school I’m in Grade Nine . So like? How would I know? (But seriously pls write more nsfw)

71. Who is your most loyal friend? My best friend Addy? ( she was the one we tried to comb her hair) or you people

72. Are you in a relationship? Ok this is getting annoying

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Come ON.

74. Are you a bad person? Depends. Is the scale puppies to trump or a grumpy cat to trump. Cause I’m in the low-middle of the first scale and at the bottom of the second.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? I wanna fite but I don’t bite and I’m usually just high as a kite.

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Like… nothing. Mum and I have to save money for scout camps ( there’s a big Venture I’m going on at the start of next year, AV2018) and I couldn’t be bothered to have a birthday party when I would have to have one just before or after term starts, my birthday is the 24th of Jan. Usually I have my party like a week after school starts again but I couldn’t be bothered.

77. What is your favorite quote and why? “I’m sceptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may” I got it off a screenshot on tumblr ALSO “What are you looking at?” “ Something Replusive” “I’m not a mirror Karen” from the fanfiction Iris Zero, my fav Hetalia fan fic about Romerica. Also “I’m hella pan with a hella plan” off tumblr.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? I would be a fucking wreck and I’m not gonna think about it.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? If i went back and time and changed smth, i wouldn’t be me anymore, but I would go back and get a proper depression diagnosis bc we knew I had it but I’m a good actor so the doctors couldn’t diagnose the kid who was fucking suicidal great job Australia ANYWAY

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? My mum texted me this morning ( btw I did this ask over a couple days) with 'If you die today would you like the last thing you spent your precious life hours on to be tumblr??’ I responded with 'yes’ to be a bitch and also bc I kinda would? I would get all my friends and all of the food I wanted, write my will, etc. I’d go fucking ridiculous with what I’d do tbh. All the adventurous activities .

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? One time when I was 11, I had a dream I was a princess with a guy servant and a girl lady in waiting/servant and we were all bffs, ( looking normal so far lmao), and then we were getting chased around my kingdom by a guy with a floppy dick which was flopping around like a bendy/wobble pencil. Both friends sacrificed themselves to stop him and made me keep running away lol

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I don’t know

83. Who were you in a past life? The human embodiment of Anxiety Sanders

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?Lazy sunny days with my mum. Chores and relaxing. Cooking.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Not,,,, really,, see above, I,, haven’t really had any experience with love

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I don’t think so?

87. If you were the prime minister , what would you do? Fucking Marriage Equality, Safe schools is mandatory, sexual assault/homelessness/youth in crisis support is fucking fixed and improved, Scouts is connected to schools, primary school system revised, improved and fixed, high school system improved, counselling is better overall, science in all grades, maths teaching is improved over all, teachers can get constructive criticism from students and will LISTEN to them. Abuse is redefined as both emotional and psychical and people start to understand that, neurodivergents are fucking accommodated more, same for disabled people. Mental illness are listened to for fucks sake.

88. What is your ideal career? Engineer, scientist, musician, YouTuber, anything that makes me happy and makes people happy and supports people. I also want money tbh so A) i can donate to charity B) i want to transition and all I fucking love memey products.

89. What is your political affiliation?/90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. When I vote, I will weight my options and choose which ever is the least awful tbh. I’m an intersectional feminist meaning I support poc, the wider LGBT+ community, feminism, people with mental illness, neurodivergents and disabled people.

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?Male doesn’t get periods so u decide

92. Do you like kissing in public? I’ve seen people kiss in public ONCE in my life so like?? Do what you want

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Unlike my prime minister answer, I’m thinking smaller here : everyone is allowed to transition/get married/ all LGBTAI+ rights are legalised

94. Where would you like to live? Huge house full of secret tunnels and it’s all waterproof and I keep rescue pets and secretly help refugees there so they can get a normal life again. There would be huge libraries. In the countryside as well. Tazmania probably. Or Melbourne in a nice house with my rabbits and datemate/s

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?I’d want to go on a world tour and meet all my mutuals and the people I am fans of.

96. Describe yourself in one word.Chaotic ( good lmao)(( jk every time i take that chaotic/neutral/lawful quiz I get lawful good but lawful good is was I aspire to be and chaotic good is what I am. ))

97. Describe yourself in one sentenceVery. Fucking. Complicated. Wreck. Who Loves All My Mutuals and Friends So Much.

#me #asks #97 question ask

[nolimitsongrace]

June 1: Jesus and the Holy Spirit

Don’t Inflate the Truth About Yourself!May 28, 2020

“If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself… lay thine hand upon thy mouth.” — Proverbs 30:32

Many years ago, Denise and I went on a cruise of the Caribbean Sea. We had never been on a cruise and didn’t know what to expect. When we arrived for dinner the first evening, we assumed we’d be seated alone, but the maître d’ seated us at a table with six young people in their early to mid-20s. Denise and I looked at each other and then at the six other people, and we realized we were the grandpa and grandma in the group. It wasn’t exactly the romantic setting we had in mind, but it was the seating given to us for the evening so we decided to enjoy an experience with this young group of people.

These were university students who had decided to take a cruise together. So rather than talk about ourselves, we decided to listen and see what we could learn from this younger generation. The young female seated next to Denise glowed as she chattered away. She told Denise that she was studying Classical Greek and that her dream was to become an expert, having already attained a measure of that expert status compared to other students back home at the university. She went on and on about the marvelous characteristics of Classical Greek — obviously trying to impress us with how smart she was.

*[If you started reading this from your email, begin reading here.]

Then the young man seated to my right side decided it was his turn to chime in, and he began to quite literally rave about how brilliant he was with the Russian language. Believe me, pride was not hidden at that table! These young people — according to themselves — were absolutely amazing in their respective abilities! The man next to me went on and on about how he had studied Russian at the university for two years and that he spoke Russian so flawlessly that even native Russians couldn’t even detect a foreign accent when he spoke! Denise and I looked at each other in amazement, but never uttered a word in response or gave a hint that we are both Russian-speakers.

Then a gorgeous young girl across the table spoke up: “Well, I guess it’s my turn to tell who I am and what I plan to do. I am a soprano, and I plan to sing professionally at the Metropolitan Opera in New York City.” Oh my goodness, I thought I would fall off my chair any moment. Even if she was a good singer, she was sitting at the same table as my wife, who really had the opportunity to sing at the Metropolitan Opera but had given up the opportunity for the ministry. This gorgeous young girl had no idea what kind of real opera singer was sitting right in front of her as she exclaimed how many awards she had won and how gifted she was at singing.

After the young people had gone around the table and they had all finished “sharing” their areas of brilliance and expertise, they looked at Denise and me — almost as if to say, We know you are older and probably the least experienced, but… And they kindly asked us, “Now tell us — what has been your past area of expertise?”

Denise spoke up first and said, “Well, my husband is a Classical Greek expert and has written best-selling books on the subject.” The girl sitting next to Denise, who claimed such expertise at Classical Greek, nearly wilted. She said, “Well, I’m really not a real expert, like you are. Oh, how embarrassing.”

Then I turned to the overly confident Russian-student to my right and said, “My wife and I have lived in Russia for many years, and we speak Russian fluently. How about if you and I speak a little Russian together?” He leaned back from the table and said, “Oh, I really don’t speak that well. I feel a little put on the spot. I’d rather not speak in Russian right now.”

Then the gorgeous blonde soprano looked at Denise and said, “And what about you?” I interrupted and said, “May I answer that question, because my wife may be a little timid right now to tell you. But she is an opera singer who holds concerts all over the former USSR and who personally gave up a career at the Metropolitan Opera when we decided to get married.” The blonde’s mouth literally fell open, gaping in shock.

I didn’t want any of them to be embarrassed for grossly exaggerating the truth about themselves, but I felt a need to give a little advice about truthful presentations. Feeling they were all embarrassed, I said, “There’s no need to be embarrassed in front of us, but you need to be careful how highly you lift yourself up in front of others, because it could put you in very embarrassing situation. Speak well of yourself, but don’t stretch the truth.” Then I asked them to please pass the gravy, and we all moved on to other subjects. All in all, the evening turned out to be a wonderful time with a group of young, inexperienced university students.

When I read Proverbs 30:32, I remember that night. It says, “If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself…lay thine hand upon thy mouth.” God’s solution in such a moment is simple: “…lay thine hand upon thy mouth” — or in other words, shut your mouth when you are tempted to gloat about yourself.

In the Septuagint, the Greek version of the Old Testament, the word “foolishly” is the word euphrosune, and it pictures the abandonment of one to self-aggrandizing. Thus, it is translated as someone who acts foolishly. It is the extreme picture of one who speaks too highly about himself, one who revels in his own accomplishments, or one who is ridiculously self-congratulatory, which is why sometimes it is translated as mirth. It is the most extreme version of thinking too highly of oneself. The word “hand” is cheira, the normal word for a hand, but here it pictures a person putting his “hand” on his mouth!

Especially when I was younger, I felt the need to impress others because I wanted people to think highly of me. I was probably guilty of the same thing that I saw these young people do who were seated at the table with us that night. However, as I’ve grown older and become more secure in the Lord and who I am in Christ, the need to impress others has become less important to me — and my relationship with Jesus and how He perceives me has taken the place of greatest importance in my life. As I become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit, I become increasingly aware of how grieved He is when we embellish the truth.

During a time of self-examination years ago when I took an extended time to look back on my life, there were many words I wished I could retract, but it was too late and too many years had passed. So I made the decision to be very careful from that point onward to say only those things that were true and honoring to Jesus. Sometimes the best policy is to say nothing at all.

So today I want to ask you — are you guilty of embellishing the facts? If you’re still guilty of this sin of the mouth, Proverbs 30:32 may be the best advice for you: “If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself…lay thine hand upon thy mouth.” God’s solution is very simple. Whenever you are tempted to exaggerate the truth — or to exaggerate your own importance — put your hand over your mouth until it becomes a settled practice in your life to rest in who you are in Jesus. In time you will ensure that in all things and in every situation, Jesus alone gets all the glory and honor for whatever you accomplish in this life!

MY PRAYER FOR TODAY

Heavenly Father, I repent for the times I have sought to impress people by inflating the facts rather than seeking to please You by simply telling the truth. To exaggerate my abilities or accomplishments is utterly foolish since people usually see right through it! I realize now that if I engage in self-aggrandizement, not only am I deceiving myself, but I am also attempting to manipulate others by controlling their perception of me through a lie. That is not the way I want to live! I now see that to blow things out of proportion in order to exalt myself before others is actually a symptom of fear, not confidence — and fear brings a snare. Holy Spirit, I ask You to forgive me for the times I’ve grieved You by exalting myself instead of exalting Jesus. I ask You to set a watch over my lips as I commit to place my hand on my mouth and to give all glory to the Lord Jesus Christ alone!

I pray this in Jesus’ name!

MY CONFESSION FOR TODAY

I confess that I choose to resist the temptation to exaggerate the truth and embellish the facts in an attempt to make myself seem more important or accomplished than I am. To safeguard against foolish speaking, I will put my hand over my mouth. I am complete in Christ, and my sense of security in Him continually increases as my identity in Him becomes more and more established.

I declare this by faith in Jesus’ name!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER

Can you remember a moment when you embellished the truth to make yourself look more important in the eyes of others? When was that, and did you ever repent for embellishing the truth?

What is most important in your life right now? Is it the opinions of what others or what Jesus thinks about you? Be honest, because Jesus already knows the truth anyway!

Have you ever been astonished at someone’s willingness to exaggerate the truth in order to impress other people? If you hear someone embellishing the truth, what do you think is your responsibility? Should you simply be quiet and let it go or privately ask the person about it?

[yourheartisthreesizestoobig]

1-200 😄

Y'all suck200: My crush’s name is: X (I don’t currently have one)
199: I was born in: Washington D.C
198: I am really: sleepy 
197: My cellphone company is: Verizon 
196: My eye color is: blue
195: My shoe size is: 6
194: My ring size is: 4.5
193: My height is: 5'1
192: I am allergic to: oh god literally all of nature, gluten, eggs, pineapple, cats, dogs
191: My 1st car was: Volvo 
190: My 1st job was: babysitting 
189: Last book you read: The Widow
188: My bed is: a full? 
187: My pet: 3 cats ( my cat is coco and she’s fat and adorable)
186: My best friend: hannah 
185: My favorite shampoo is: head and shoulders? 
184: Xbox or ps3: neither 
183: Piggy banks are: great
182: In my pockets: chopstick
181: On my calendar: work and doctors appointments 
180: Marriage is: a lifelong commitment 
179: Spongebob can: make you dumber
178: My mom: is the best even though sometimes we drive each other nuts 
177: The last three songs I bought were? Two heads, Church bells, and sleepover 
176: Last YouTube video watched: probably something on buzzfeed 
175: How many cousins do you have? 7
174: Do you have any siblings? Yes one sister
173: Are your parents divorced? Nope 
172: Are you taller than your mom? We're the same height 
171: Do you play an instrument? Piano and guitar
170: What did you do yesterday? spend time with my mom ( it was Mother’s Day)[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: no
168: Luck: no 
167: Fate: yes
166: Yourself: yes 
165: Aliens: yes 
164: Heaven: maybe 
163: Hell: no
162: God: yes 
161: Horoscopes: no, but I like them 
160: Soul mates: yes 
159: Ghosts: yes 
158: Gay Marriage:YES WHY IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION 
157: War: no 
156: Orbs: no 
155: Magic: no [ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs
153: Drunk or High: drunk 
152: Phone or Online: phone 
151: Red heads or Black haired: black hair 
150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 
149: Hot or cold: cold 
148: Summer or winter: summer 
147: Autumn or Spring: spring 
146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 
145: Night or Day: NIGHT
144: Oranges or Apples: apples 
143: Curly or Straight hair: straight 
142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonald’s 
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk
140: Mac or PC: PC
139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops 
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 
137: Coke or Pepsi: coke 
136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 
135: Burried or cremated: cremated 
134: Singing or Dancing: neither. I’m so bad at both 
133: Coach or Chanel: Chanel?
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Kat
131: Small town or Big city: big city 
130: Wal-Mart or Target: target 
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben stiller 
128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure 
127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast 
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas 
125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers 
124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 
123: Yankees or Red Sox: Yankees [ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: it’s horrible and should be avoided whenever possible 
121: George Bush: he’s an idiot who hired really terrible people to be his advisors, but he’s not a bad person at heart. 
120: Gay Marriage: it should be legal everywhere 
119: The presidential election: what the fuck is wrong with Americans. We elected a mad man 
118: Abortion: pro choice
117: MySpace: never had one 
116: Reality TV: it’s kinda of a waste of time 
115: Parents: love mine 
114: Back stabbers: they aren’t worth your time 
113: Ebay: great way to buy and sell shit
112: Facebook: nice to stay in touch with people, don’t post much 
111: Work: wish I didn’t have to do it 
110: My Neighbors: they’re great 
109: Gas Prices: meh? They’re not bad right now 
108: Designer Clothes: usually a waste of money 
107: College: it’s too fucking expensive!!!!!
106: Sports: they need to take a stronger stance against domestic violence 
105: My family: love to hate them 
104: The future: not sure. It’s scary [ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: an hour ago 
102: Last time you ate: 20 minutes 
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: 2 days 
100: Cried in front of someone: January? 
99: Went to a movie theater: April 
98: Took a vacation: I’m currently on summer break :)
97: Swam in a pool: does a hot tub count? If so, December, if not I have no clue 
96: Changed a diaper: January 
95: Got my nails done: may of last year 
94: Went to a wedding: last May 
93: Broke a bone: last January 
92: Got a peircing: it will be two years ago in August ( I got my nose pierced for my 18th birthday) 
91: Broke the law: today when I went 40 in a 30
90: Texted: half-hour ago[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: Annabelle 
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat 
87: The last movie I saw: the proposal 
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: seeing my friends this summer 
85: The thing im not looking forward to: working 
84: People call me: soph, Sophie, Sophia 
83: The most difficult thing to do is: motivate myself to study 
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope 
81: My zodiac sign is: Leo 
80: The first person i talked to today was: my mom 
79: First time you had a crush: on a girl? High school, on a boy? I was like 6
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: hannah 
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: this morning 
76: Right now I am talking to: Hannah 
75: What are you going to do when you grow up:
 Lawyer or a FBI agent 74: I have/will get a job: as a therapist maybe?
73: Tomorrow: I will clean my room 
72: Today: I cleaned my sisters room 
71: Next Summer: I will travel and visit friends 
70: Next Weekend: I will babysit 
69: I have these pets: 3 cats 
68: The worst sound in the world: someone I love crying 
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my sister
66: People that make you happy: hannah, Emmy, Ashley, Isabelle, Annabelle, Kim, Liv 
65: Last time I cried: months ago 
64: My friends are: amazing, I’m so lucky to have them 
63: My computer is: a touch screen 
62: My School: Smith College
61: My Car: Volvo 
60: I lose all respect for people who: are willing to do anything to get ahead 
59: The movie I cried at was: I can’t remember 
58: Your hair color is: light brown 
57: TV shows you watch: madam secretary, law and order svu, suits, black mirror 
56: Favorite web site: Tumblr? 
55: Your dream vacation: on a beach with no responsibilities and my friends 
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: after getting my tonsils out 
53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium well
52: My room is: pretty clean 
51: My favorite celebrity is: Angelina Jolie 
50: Where would you like to be: with my friends 
49: Do you want children: I want to adopt them 
48: Ever been in love: nope 
47: Who’s your best friend: hannah 
46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends 
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: making someone else’s day better 
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Ashley 
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: kinda? 
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: yup 
41: Have you pre-named your children: nope 
40: Last person I got mad at: my sister 
39: I would like to move to: New York City 
38: I wish I was a professional: organizer [ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: anything gummy 
36: Vehicle: Tesla 
35: President: Obama 
34: State visited: Arizona 
33: Cellphone provider: Verizon 
32: Athlete: Selena Williams 
31: Actor: the guy from the proposal ( I can’t remember his name, he’s also dead pool)
30: Actress: Angelina Jolie 
29: Singer: Hayley Kiyoko
28: Band: panic! At the disco 
27: Clothing store: anthropologie 
26: Grocery store: Whole Foods 
25: TV show: NCIS 
24: Movie: good will hunting 
23: Website: amazon
22: Animal: elephant 
21: Theme park: six flags 
20: Holiday: Christmas 
19: Sport to watch: hockey 
18: Sport to play: rock climb 
17: Magazine: National Geographic 
16: Book: to kill a mockingbird 
15: Day of the week: Friday 
14: Beach: the Cayman Islands 
13: Concert attended: Matt Nathanson 
12: Thing to cook: pesto pasta 
11: Food: watermelon 
10: Restaurant: a family run sushi place near me 
9: Radio station: country 
8: Yankee candle scent: anything citrus 
7: Perfume: something light and clean 
6: Flower: anything purple 
5: Color: blue 
4: Talk show host: jimmy Kimmel 
3: Comedian: the guy who used to host the tonight show 
2: Dog breed: new Finland 
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yup!

[cormyreviewsmixtapes-blog]

Question Anything...And Some People Just Don't

Eoin is one of my oldest friends in the world; we met 21 years ago, in secondary school, at the age of 13 after I'd just moved to Roscommon. Despite being in the same class, our first interaction was during lunchbreak, when, as was the regular custom of us young fellas, I had caught the football being pelted at me and pelted it back into the bikeshed, where it struck Eoin's twin brother in the arm,  thereby bashing his wrist against the wall and smashing his watch. Reasonably enough, he ran up and boxed me in the head, so I responded in kind, and Eoin hopped in and punched me in the side of the face and we all had a big scrap. Soon afterwards we realised we had a shared love for computer games, Warhammer 40K, making homemade explosives and listening to inappropriate gangster rap. When I moved to Copenhagen at the age of 22 we missed each other a lot and he made me this fabulous mixtape - still unrivaled to this day.

[*disclaimer...this one came without a tracklist so until today I haven't had a clue what some of the songs were. From 12 Monkeys Theme on I started cheating with Shazam...]

SIDE A:

Oi Polloi - Take Back The Land

Controversial decision to open the mixtape with Scotland's premier anarcho-punk comedy act. Taken from their 1999 Fuaim Catha album, it's not one I'm keen on. Unlike the earlier aggressive oi/hardcore crossover genius of the Guilty 7" and Let The Boots Do The Talking 7", by this stage the rage had faded and it was all a bit too smirky. Probably the strongest song off a weak album but extra points for the terrible ska part in the middle and posh accent "I support Scotland when they play rugger" bit.

The Dwarves - Drugstore

Sneery and bizarre - what's he going to do at the drugstore that's going to entail having himself some fun!? Fantastic song.

The Melvins - Berthas

A sick off-kilter riff, softly stompy drums and a debonair vocal approach sets this apart. For some reason The Melvins never really clicked with me; I've given them various goes and lived with people who were semi-obsessed with the band, and despite enjoying them to maybe a 6/10 degree, it's not for me. That said, this is a deadly track.

John Zorn - ?

Dunno what this is called but I'm pretty sure it's from Naked City and it's great.

Dwarves - Wish That I Was Dead

A risky mixtape move - two songs by the same band within the first five songs, and not even back-to-back? Well, if there's one thing you can say about Eoin it's that he makes mincement of the conventional and he makes it feel good while doing so. Another perfect sneery classic.

Rudimentary Peni - Nothing But A Nightmare

I'm still in awe of the structure, lyrics and hooks of this song 18 years after first hearing it. Probably the best Rudimentary Peni song and even one of the best punk songs of all time?  

Nick Cave - The Curse Of Millhaven

Much like The Melvins, Nick Cave is one of those lads who a sizable proportion of my good-tasted friends love but has just never clicked for me. Nevertheless, this classic track acted as a foot-in-the-door for the immortal Murder Ballads album I came to love after squatting with a couple of Aussies in London.

           An interesting aside; one of those Australians was my then-girlfriend-now-wife and in the summer of 2006 we were hitching through the gutters of Europe attending punk festivals and abusing substances all the way from Copenhagen down to Barcelona. Somewhere in France we got picked up by a Serbian Orthodox Christian truck driver who kept looking at my missus' bare legs and then grinning and cackling at me. We tried to get out after about half an hour but he wouldn't let us, feigning miscomprehension. He was going in the right direction so we decided "fuck it", let's continue. Weirdo Serb and I both spoke German at an okay level so it was up to me to communicate for the six hours he drove us through the south of France as he regaled me with war stories of killing Muslims in the genocide of roughly a decade earlier. I hadn't slept the night before so I kept nearly drifting off to sleep while hissing at my wife to not sleep no matter what. At some point I drifted off, waking up to him pulling in to a deserted truck stop while my wife was asleep. I said "what the fuck?" in German and he cackled and pulled back out onto the motorway. After he'd played the same Serbian Country'n'Western CD three times back-to-back I asked if he had any other CDs. He said no and asked if I had any. It was a choice between Pisschrist and Murder Ballads, so Murder Ballads it was. I mistakenly assumed it would be okay because it was vaguely countryesque. How wrong I was. 30 seconds into the first track he fixes me with a chilling death stare and says "...teufel musik" - German for "devil music". After that everything got very scary. Close to dusk things had progressed to a stage where we created a huge scene in the cab and escaped into a random field in the middle of nowhere just across the Spanish border, where we proceeded to set up our tent in a cornfield which rustled in the wind and scared the absolute fucking bejaysus out of us all night, especially when an unidentitifed but quite large seeming wild animal started sniffing around. Good album though!

12 Monkeys Theme

DEADLY piece of music.

Tales From The Crypt Theme

Obviously things are getting quite weird now. This is a class song though. Eoin you nutter. 

Geinoh Yamashirogumi - Tetsuo

Incredible music from the Akira soundtrack. I was a childhood manga freak [I've written about that previously here, in a tour diary from the first time one of my bands went to Japan] and bought the video of Akira in the Virgin Megastore in London on a family holiday there when I was 11 or 12, but had never really focused on how much of an impact the soundtrack had on me. After endless listens to this mixtape I bought the soundtrack CD off Amazon and listened to it religiously. It was already semi-burnt into my consciousness from dozens-if-not-hundreds of viewings of the movie, but after I got the CD I didn't stop until I was well and truly sick of it. A masterpiece of musical evolution and something I'd have to credit with giving me an early interest in wild and weird evocative music.      

Pink Anvil - Desert

I literally didn't have a clue what this song was for the past 12 years. I assumed it was from a computer game soundtrack but the wonderful world of technology (i.e. Shazam) has just informed me who it is, and Google has piped up that it's two of the lads from Ministry. This is awesome, weird psych that's creepy and evocative of distant jungle planets peopled by cloaked interdimensional shamblers you might find hanging around the Innsmouth docks in the 1920s. Tension simmers as melodrama unfolds, fucking hell, I'm downloading this album right away. [note - the rest of the album turned out to be more industrial and decent enough but not on par with this track]

John Zorn - The Sicillian Clan

A gorgeous piece of sleazy tropical lounge to bring us back to Earth after all that epic scariness.  

Fantomas - something off Delìrium Còrdia

Eoin was obviously on something of an Ipecac Records kick back then, this being the fantastically bonkers conclusion to Side A.

 SIDE B:

Zombies Ate My Neighbour Theme

If you thought Side A was weird, this is where it REALLY kicks off. How better to start than with one of the greatest themes from one of the greatest '90s games? Inspired.  

Advantage - Ducktails, Moonstage

Continuing the computer games theme, this is a wonderful little ditty from the 8-bit math rockers. Another band I've sadly neglected...I'm going to have to spend some more time with these legends.

Donal & Conor - He-Man

Blending ska, fantasy metal influences and a He-Man childrens story book I believe this song was recorded on Windows 98 using those crap handheld microphones you got for free with desktop computer packages back then? Recorded by Eoin's twin brother Donal and Conor, respectively the bassist and guitarist for our teenage pop-punk band Nerdlinger (Eoin was the drummer and I was the singer/guitarist), this is a wonderfully nuanced piece of tomfoolery.

The Knife - Heartbeats

Fabulous track and one which I was already familiar with thanks to my queer ex-girlfriend who was a big fan. She'd played the album constantly in summer 2005 while we were living in a trailerpark in the docklands of Copenhagen. We'd subsequently been evicted which is why I'd moved into the massive punk house where I lived when Eoin sent me this tape. One of the greatest things about music is how it acts as a time-machine, bringing you back to who you were when you first got know a certain song or album. In retrospect I'd credit The Knife as a prime mover in the resurgence of respectable and relevant electro-pop which has only developed year-by-year since then. 

Kate Bush - Hounds Of Love

Incredibly, I was unaware of Kate Bush and her genius back then. I think I was still quite concerned with being punk-as-fuck and therefore tried to deny my love for pop...the folly of youth. An incredibly evocative song and one that, along with the artist, has since carved out a special place in my heart.  

Sparks - This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us

What a song! I'm assuming that this song and band entered our consciousness through a mutual love for Faith No More, who would go on to do a reboot of this song alongside Sparks, though this is the original. Given Eoin's massive love for Queen it's no suprise that this became a personal favourite of his.

Cyndi Lauper - I'll Kiss You

The pop onslaught continues. Again, this was before I'd truly accepted how fantastic Cyndi Lauper was, a situation which has since been truly rectified. She's now one of my favourite popsters of all time...I even met her once when she played Dublin's Redbox in 2009 and she told my friend Elly that she loved her hair, in a squeaky Brooklyn accent. What a song...all the better since it sounds like she sings "Come on Cormy I'll not let you go".

Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannon

Just heavenly. A frontrunner for my favourite band of all time and a perfectly placed highlight on this mixtape. Gorgeous.

Röyksopp - So Easy

Another one that I didn't even know who it was until Shazam just told me. A bizarre but, again, perfectly placed song for the flow of this mixtape, perfectly setting up...

Nightmares On Wax - The Journey (Man)

Another mystery song for me until literally two seconds ago; I remember Eoin going on about how much he liked Nightmares On Wax back in the day. A great mix of world music, chilled beats and esoteric sounds, it functions as the ideal intro to... 

Cowboy Bebop OST - Space Lion

It's hard to do justice to the impact this song has had on me. It led to the first short story I had published and has had long-term significance on me for over a third of my life. I've never heard a more evocative piece of music; it conjures up incredible images of the African Savannah, of loss, of hope and dreams, to an existential level. In many ways the whole mixtape is a journey to this song.

 Faith No More - The Cowboy Song

A joint love of ours, FNM are, always have been and always will be The Shit. After Space Lion, the rest of this mixtape is sort of like the end part of an acid trip, when you're through the peak and coming back down to the creamy soft end part. This feels like you've absorbed the power and now it's time for...

Murder City Devils - I Drink The Wine

The strong confident end to the journey - you're coming out the other side, there's been some dark times, some brighter times, but life goes on. A great band with the original proto-hipster aesthetic, there hasn't been another who sound like this. I haven't listened to the album it comes from for over a decade but it's due a spin to see if it's stood the test of time.

Zeke - Ever Onward

Zeke was another shared point of inspiration and this is one of their hardest rockin' midpaced numbers from the final album. To be honest it doesn't have the same buzz as their earlier stuff, presumably because frontman Blind Marky Felchtone got sober, which wrecked everything. An innocuous ending to a classic mixtape, it finishes up in fine style by cutting out mid-song

VERDICT:

A fabulous example of what a mixtape can be - this one has it all. Truthfully, it's my favourite mixtape of all time and that's why it's the one to kick off this blog. New songs, classic hits, and, most importantly of all: FLOW - the most important aspect of all great mixtapes. This inherently possesses that semi-intangible quality of the great mixtape - a selection of tunes which deepens both your love for a friend and your respect for their musical taste. A time-capsule of enduring fondness for one of the best friends I'll ever have.

#Oi Polloi #punk #anarcho-punk #The Dwarves #rock'n'roll #mixtape #The Melvins #John Zorn #Rudimentary Peni #nick cave #murder ballads #12 Monkeys #Tales From The Crypt #Geinoh Yamashirogumi #Pink Anvil #Fantomas #Zombies Ate My Neighbour #The Knife #Kate Bush #Sparks #Cyndi Lauper #Fleetwood Mac #Röyksopp #Nightmares On Wax #Cowboy Bebop #Faith No More #Murder City Devils #Zeke