#these interactions were so awkward that I literally cringed in both instances | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kanmom51 · 3 years

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I wouldn’t say that JK was uncomfortable in that clip but he did look like he wasn’t in the mood to me & that’s ok imo !!! lol I’m a hardcore Kookmin lover and that’s what I saw in his face. Everyone can see and interpret different things. Couples or people that are super close with each other are allowed to be annoyed with each other every once and a while.

I’m a firm believer that small instances like that don’t disprove anything for me as much as the super close moments they have-often might I add- don’t necessarily prove anything for some other people.

I, for one, still think they have a really close relationship that goes beyond just friendship & a 1 second clip of Jungkook looking like he wanted to say ‘Really Jimin??, we’re doing this right here and now???’ does not mean that they aren’t close or that Jungkook is ‘uncomfortable’ with Jimin touching him or being close to him. Now THAT narrative is absolute bullshit.

I have received many asks like this or similar to this or just all up about JK's reactions, so I will answer them all in one ask, because I don't want to repeat myself. These are the asks I received (all your voices will be heard):

Ask2:

u cant blame people for thinking jk is not comfortable with jimin because everytime jm does something with him he looks annoyed as hell

ask 3:

Look I've been a supporter since 2017 and Jikook has never once made me cringe or feel awkward. JK has literally almost kissed JM and brushed lips with him and just smiled and never looked awkward. Whatever is happening with Jikook the last several months JK looks stiff and odd anytime JM interacts with him. If he is with JM, then they need to have a talk, cause All I've seen all day long is people calling JM an assaulter and homewrecker and they all say its because of JKs reactions every time.

Ask 4:

If they are broke up, JM needs to learn boundaries. If they aren't, then JM needs to have a long serious talk with JK, cause new army's coming in are already convinced JM makes JK uncomfortable. JK shouldn't have to change to please others, but if JM is his boyfriend, he needs to stop acting repulsed or annoyed or stone faced when JM touches him, cause people feed off his reactions. He fuels it. It really looks like he doesn't want JM touching him if thats the case he needs to leave JM alone too

Ask 5:

JM has looked like an extremely clingy boyfriend lately and usually I love that, I love it even more when its JK being bold and clingy, but the last several months JK's reactions make me cringe for JM. I definitely think JM is over the separation shit, the way RM rolls his eyes or they have to lie and he's probably over everyone shipping his boyfriend with his best friend, but JK isn't going a long with his boldness cause he probably is worried. I just hope this doesn't cause them more problems.

Ask 6:

Either they broke up or JK has become more private about their relationship, because there is no more excuses for JK's reactions toward JM anymore. He KNOWS JM is being hated on every single time they interact, esp here lately and he is doing NOTHING to change the narrative. Therefore its either cause they really aren't together and JK really is uncomfortable or the company told them to tone it down and JK's worried and stiffens up around JM. Its not funny anymore JM is getting formal complaints

Ask 7:

I'm tired of jikook interacting thing when it's only jimin interacting with jungkook and jungkook looks like he's in a funeral. I believe jm likes him but the narratives y'all create about jungkook are so different from his actual reactions and everyone can see that and it's the only reason jimin gets so much hate.

Ask 8:

JM deserves someone who treats him equally. Its clear JK has tapped out of whatever they have and JM isn't letting go. 2017, 2018, 2019 JK would not treat JM this way. In fact, it seemed like JK was ready to tell the world he was dating JM. His boldness in front of cameras, then. He never shunned/made JM look bad. If I did not know Jikook's relationship, I would think JM was an aggressor who makes JK uncomfortable cause that is how it reads no matter how hard we defend it. JK doesn't deserve JM.

Ask 9:

i cried so much today, honestly fuck jungkook. i hope jimin realizes how their "interactions" look on camera and sticks to his word of not even talking to him

ask 10:

JM is telling us one thing, JK is telling us another. Every time something happens with Jikook, its usually because of JM and JK looks uncomfortable, then JK will wear green & purple. JM leans on JK butter pic, JK wears green & purple shirt next day. JM trying to have moments with JK at muster, net day, JK wears purple & green earrings. I'm guessing JK will wear purple & green together soon again. JM deserves better, cause that's not cool if JK is his boyfriend and its not cool of JM if Jk's not

Ask 11:

It's not the same anymore with Jikook and Jk is the main reason. His actions towards Jimin is why its hard to continue defending Jikook. If they're together, then JK needs to treat him better period. I'm not saying he has to kiss his boyfriend in public or shout he's mine, but stop flinching, cringing and sitting there with a pissed look when he interacts if he's your boyfriend. If he's not, set boundaries and leave JM alone and stop leading him on. I'm scared for JM. BH might let him go.

Ask 12:

Genuine Q, why does everyone say jungkook is clingy with jimin? Even always behind the scenes is jimin clinging to him, looking for the tiniest way to interact with him and jungkook is always a passive receptor of all his affections. I like them together but seeing so many people say things I have never seen makes me confused and it's frustrating. Even lee hyun hugged jimin today more friendly than jungkook ever has. ANd I don't mean a 'backhug'.

Ask 13:

If he's going to be fond of JM, I'd rather he show it rather than leave JM out to dry.

So, here we go.

First thing I have to say is, please everyone take a big breath, let it out and lets start talking here.

I will start by saying that neither JK nor JM ow us a thing!! JK doesn't have to prove to us he likes or loves or wants JM, and visa versa.

If they choose to show us, every once in a while, it's their prerogative, not our right.

So, if JK loves JM, if they are in a relationship, it's JM he has to show he loves him, not us.

Where were all of you when JK was practically forcing his arms around JM to hug him after the recording of the Black swan performance? JM clearly didn't seem pleased at that moment. Were you discecting his reaction then? Either way, if your answer to the question is yes or no, you need to stop for a second and think why you were.

Moving on.

JK is not impassive to JM. JK is not hating what JM does. JK is being JK.

I have said this soooo many times before. JK in control of a situation is not the same JK caught off guard or surprised.

When JK is caught off guard he goes into a panic mode of sorts. Many times it looks like a total shut down. Freeze mode, if you wish to call it that. Resting bitch face is also good here.

When JK is in control of a situation he is happy, he is bold, he, in his mind, knows what he’s doing, where he is taking things and f**k the consequences, as far as he is concerned (at least for that split second he decides to do his crazy).

When JK is not in control and caught off guard he loses it. This is a shy introvert that suffers from anxiety. Please don’t let his stage persona confuse you.

JK isn’t uncomfortable with JM. He loves him. And even if you don’t believe they are a couple, I’m sorry, but that is something no one can deny, JK’s love for JM.

JK is an adult, he can be pretty assertive when he wants to. Yes, there is the age hierarchy, but he has shown us on more than one occasion that if he doesn’t want someone to hug him or touch him, he will push them off. We need to understand this. If JK didn’t want JM to touch him, he would push him off. If JK didn’t want JM to jump on him, he wouldn’t have caught him, it’s not like JM would have fallen on the ground. Do I have to remind just how many times JK has lifted JM and loved every single time he has done it.

But you ask, why a big smile on his face then and not this time?

Again, he knew what was coming then, he had control over the situation. He wasn’t caught off guard.

That’s JK, that’s who he is, and you cannot expect him to change who he is, how he reacts, how his face looks just because it doesn’t look good on camera to you, just because fans will dissect it to pieces and then go all nasty and turn it against the one person he loves most.

You can’t turn it on him.

It’s on the fans that as far as I am concerned shouldn’t be even called fans. The haters that instead of loving BTS and all their members are busy trying to break them down.

I will say this both to JM and JK stans:

Those are your bias, each one of them. And you bias loves the other one, JK loves JM and JM loves JK (no matter the level of love, friend, boyfriend, partner, they love each other).

You claim to love them, so how can you point so much anger and hate towards the one person they love so much????

If you don’t have something good to say, don’t say it. Because, saying something bad about the one your bias loves, well, don’t you think it would hurt them too???

Your bias, the person you claim to admire, care for, support, he chose to love this other person. Why don’t you give him some credit that he knows what he’s doing? That if that other person was treating him badly, he would no longer be with him, no longer gravitate towards him. No one is forcing him to always, always, be by his side, rub his neck, hug him, talk about him (always positive things, at that, unless it’s giving us information we didn’t really need to know about the other, like how long they shower, how loud they snore, who they were with at 4 am etc.).

PLEASE give your bias the well deserved credit that he knows what his wants and needs are. If JM didn’t want to be with JK, if he felt his needs weren’t being met, he wouldn’t be with him. Same said about JK.

They know how to disconnect, how to distance themselves and still stay professional, and yet, they choose to be at each other's side. That should say something to you.

So, my suggestion to you is to just leave them alone. Yes, I said it.

Let them be who they want to be. We cannot impose our needs for JK to show TKK’s he likes it when JM goes on the way he does on JK. He is who he is. If JM is unhappy with it, well he won’t put up with it, believe me. He is not a damsel in distress and doesn’t need the fans to save him from mean ole’ JK. JM is a strong ass man, I’ve said this many times before. He can take care of himself, and believe me, if he had a problem with JK’s reaction, the boy knows how to deal with it without fans coming to his rescue.

Fans need to stop inserting themselves into these young men’s lives. We are spectators, no more no less.

If you can enjoy them while understanding that, great. If not, well maybe the right thing is to take a breath, re-evaluate things and then come back.

#ask #anon

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gladerwolfstarkimagines · 4 years

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Imagine being Lin Beifong's only daughter and developing a crush on your fellow officer Mako. You finally managed to get the firebender alone but your family keeps accidentally ruining your efforts making for a very awkward night.

Being a part of Republic City’s elite defence you’d seen the avatar and her friends often and sure you’d noticed the handsome firebender she’d dated but that wasn’t all you’d seen. You’d seen the way Mako had treated Korra and Asami and it angered you but it wasn’t your place to judge. So you treated him as you did every citizen, formally and with respect, the few times you had to interact with him and it was all fine. Until Mako asked your mom for a job. When Mako joined the force you were determined he wouldn’t be able to use his good looks and celebrity reputation on the force and were extra hard on him to compensate any favouritism he might recieve. You gave him the hardest assessments, most boring shifts and worst cases and yet he beat all of your obstacles. It annoyed you at first until you realised you weren’t really annoyed. You were mad at him, for being such a redeemable guy when his previous actions didn’t indicate that. Sure he’d apologised and Asami and Korra had forgiven him but still that didn’t mean you had to trust him...but it didn’t stop you liking him. You struggled with your growing respect for the man and even more so with your admiration of him. On stake outs he genuinely seemed smart and sweet. You tried not to develop an interest in him but you couldn’t help it. Mako seemed to take an interest in you too and soon you were working cases together by choice. You were efficient and had similar thought processes so were a match made in heaven (detective wise atleast). You were working on the new airbender case together when your mom told you she wanted you both to accompany the avatar on her search for airbenders and protect her together. You nodded your head professional and composed when on the inside you felt all warm and excited. The time spent travelling with Mako and his friends was the best tine of your life. The avatar and her friends were so nice and you’d quickly bonded with them all, especially Asami and Korra, which shocked you as you didn’t usually get on well with other people. Becoming friends with two intelligent women had it’s set backs and it didn’t take long for them to notice your interest in Mako. You thought they might be judgemental but they were so sweet and sometimes annoyingly infavour of your crush sending you smirks and grins anytime you and Mako interacted. Korra and Asami made it their mission to get you and Mako together before you returned to Republic City and you were on board, when it came to dating you needed all the help you could get...

Asami came up with the idea of you getting some alone time with Mako by organising a movie night. Bolin was always begging Mako to watch his movers and he hadn’t gotten around to it. So Asami bought them for you and told you to ask Mako to watch it with you. Her and Korra (mostly Asami) coached you on flirting and what to say until you felt ready. Judgement day here and Asami hiding behind a wall after shoving you towards Mako you approached him nervously. “Hi Mako” you called and he smiled “hey y/n, what are you doing out here? I thought you were guarding Korra”. “No my mom’s got that covered” you explained and Mako nodded “ow good”. Silence fell and you resisted the urge to run away and carried on. "So" you said getting the speech you’d prepared ready "i recently bought Bolin’s mover to see what it’s like and i wondered if you wanted to watch it too, with me...". Mako looked at you and you felt your cheeks redden "don’t worry if not i just thought it’d get him off your back if you’d actually..you know seen it". "No that actually sounds like a really good idea" Mako smiled "thanks y/n". You blushed but nodded "no problem...so when do you wanna watch it?". "How about tonight?" Mako asked and you panicked. Tonight? That was so soon! You weren’t ready! Asami had only coached you up until this point not the actual date! "Or not..." Mako said seeing your reaction and you shook your head feeling brave suddenly "no tonight’s fine i’ll just have to move some things around and tidy my room cus it’s a bit of a mess". "Well we can do it in my room?" Mako asked "Bolin’s got a date with Opal so we'll have it all to ourselves" he smirked slightly and you felt your stomach dip. "Yeah that sounds great thanks" you blushed and Mako smiled again "great so i'll see you tonight". "You will see me there" you agreed and then cringed inwardly. How were you literally more cool in a chase or fight than chatting to a cute boy? Mako just chuckled slightly when he looked behind you and straightened "chief" he said and you jumped to see your mom right behind you. Your mom had turned up at Zaofu claiming to help but you thought she was probably just checking up on you and Mako. Needless to say your mom’s presence had not helped the situation with Mako. Reminding Mako not only was your grandmother the greatest earth bender who ever lived but your mom was his boss who could and would fire him for any mistake...such as dating her daughter for instance was not great romantically. "Mom...i mean chief" you saluted her and she looked at you confused. "Erm yeah hi y/n". "We were discussing official police buisness, can we help you with anything?" you said awkwardly and your mom narrowed her eyes "no i only needed Mako so you could go sleep or eat or whatever just fix what’s causing this" she said gesturing to your weird behaviour. You laughed awkwardly and hurried away to Asami who looked as mortified as you.

Asami and Korra told you sooner was better and so you tried to absorb all their tips on dates as they helped you dress and gave you a confidence boost. They left you with smirks and giggles outside Mako’s door and you sighed before knocking. Mako opened the door and you got the familiar warm feeling whenever you saw him. “Hey right on time” he smirked “come in!”. You walked inside cautiously and looked around. There were two beds, one very neat and one with lots of clothes and stuff piled on it. “Sorry that’s Bolin’s side of the room” Mako said following your eye “he’s not very...neat”. “It’s okay” you smiled and Mako nodded “so let’s get started”. He set the projector up against the wall and turned the lights off as you tried to act natural sat on his bed. Mako sat next to you and played the movie. “You know you don’t have to sit on the edge” Mako commented seeing you perched on the edge of the bed and you blushed “ow okay” and moved closer. You and Mako sat beside one another and it felt awkward at first but soon it felt more normal and you found yourself laughing and enjoying the movie, sharing popcorn with Mako, when the door went.

You and Mako both looked at one another. "Are you expecting someone?" you asked and Mako shook his head "Bolin said he wouldn’t be back for hours" Mako said getting up to go open it when the door burst open. "So you are watching Nuktuk!" your cousin Wei cried "why didn’t you invite us?". Your counsins Wei, Wing and Huan all stared at you from the door and you looked to Mako awkwardly. You both just stammered you didn’t think to and they walked further into the room. "Of course we’d want to watch it cous!" Wing laughed elbowing you. Wing and Wei sat on either side of you and Mako forcing you to move closer so they could fit. Huan followed but frowned "was it just you two in here? Alone?". You blushed not looking at Mako but nodded. "That’s not awkward' Huan sighed sitting down too and you were grateful Mako hastily played the movie. Watching a movie with your crush which was then crashed by your extended family was very awkward. You and Mako were sat so close he couldn’t move his arm without knocking you. Not to mention Wei and Wing kept leaning over to grab the popcorn pushing you into Mako or Mako into you. Huan critiqued the film so much you didn’t even hear most of it. You were completely lost in what was going on when suddenly it ended and you frowned. "Is anyone else lost?" Mako asked and Huan shook his head "it was a pretty basic film plot". "Well if i’d actually been able to hear it' Mako said under his breath and you smirked. Huan didn’t hear him as he’d gone back to arguing with Wei and Wing. 'Well the movers over we should go" Wei said jumping up and Wing and Huan nodded following him to the door. You sighed in relief thinking you’d be able to salvage something from this night when they all looked at you expectantly. "Y/n aren’t you coming?" Wei asked "it’s late" and Huan raised an eyebrow. "No of course I am" you nodded standing up too "goodnight Mako" you said formally and turned to follow your cousins who were practically escorting you back to your room. As soon as you were shut up in your room you slumped against the door and laughed. This was not how you wanted this night to go. You’d been so nervous about spending time alone with Mako when you hadn’t even managed to spend any time alone with him. This was your one excuse to get Mako alone and now it was ruined and there was no way Mako would ask you back for a second date. You jumped as there was a knock on your door and you snapped it open to see Mako stood there. "Mako" you blushed "what are you...". "You left your mover" Mako said holding out the tape to you. You nodded "ow sorry" and took it. "It’s fine" mako smiled "also i was wondering if you wanted to watch it again some time seeing as we both didn’t hear much". You smirked but nodded in disbelief "that’d be good". Mako smiled "good...y/n can i ask you something? I don’t want to read too much into this, especially because i really enjoy working with you and would hate to ruin our profesional relationship but y/n was this a date?". You froze and bit your lip "possibly i mean...it was just casual, it doesn’t have to be if you didn’t want it to be" you frowned but Mako shook his head "no i did want it to be...if you did". You blushed "you do?". Mako nodded "I’ve always respected you as a fellow officer but this trip seeing you away from republic city and actually acting like a normal teenager for once” he smirked at your frown ”well I started crushing on you but i didn’t want to read into something too much but if you want this to be a date then...". "Yes" you said cutting him off and then blushed how eager that sounded. "Good" Mako chuckled "i’m sorry our first date was so awkward i’ll make sure nobody bothers us on our second one" Mako grinned. You smirked "that sounds nice but tonight wasn’t all bad". Mako shrugged "true but I know something that will make it better". You looked at him confused when he kissed you swiftly. The guy was smooth which didn’t suprise you. What did suprise you was how confidently you kissed him back, how you didn’t feel nervous or vulnerable kissing him but confident and excited. Mako seemed suprised too but kissed you back undeterred. You seperated but Mako didn’t move away from you "now that was worth being sandwiched between your cousins". You chuckled and smirked up at him when someone came around the corner. Your mom looked from Mako’s arms around you to, to the way Mako was looking at you, to your close proximity to one another and sighed. You and Mako held your breath waiting for death threats, to be fired, a lecture or all three but none of that happened. "So this is why you were acting so weird" you mom said undetered "atleast he’s a good guy but really y/n a cop?". You went to argue but she smirked making you realise she was joking. "Just don’t let it effect your work okay?". You and Mako nodded stunned as you mom turned away. "Ow and Mako? You hurt my daughter I’ll break your face" Lin called "got it?". You cringed as Mako winced "got it" he called back awkwardly. "Still want that second date?" You asked only half joking but Mako grinned as soon as he looked at you "totally your mom can’t scare me away that easily". You blushed and mako smiled "it’s cute when you do that". You blushed even more and Mako grinned "so i’ll see you tomorrow night for the do over?". "Sounds good" you nodded and Mako smirked "it’s a date" and winked turning away down the coridoor. You blushed and felt the excitement in your stomach, your lips still tingling from the kiss. Tomorrow night couldn’t come quickly enough.

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cynicinafishbowl · 7 years

Note

If you're still taking asks, chapter 8 (the last one posted if I have it right?) of An Evening, with Mary saying yes to Evie and their relationship talk

GET READY FOR ME CRINGING AS I RE-READ MY OWN FLUFF (under the cut)

“And thanks. I know I didn’t exactly give you a legitimate answer yesterday, and I am slightly sorry about that. We do, however, on that, have a lot to discuss.” [no shit, homie]

“I understand that,” Fitzwilliam replied. Mary looked over at him and was distracted by the lines of his arm muscles [Mary likey] as he went along on crutches, noting particularly the fact that his sleeves were rolled up, and his forearms (she definitely had a thing) [oh boy, does she have a thing] were positively rippling in the fading light of a summer evening.

When, after a time, they arrived, Fitzwilliam led her to a surprisingly large backyard with some stone benches overlooking a mossy rockery [atmospheric amirite]. “I hope you don’t mind,” he said, taking a seat and stowing the crutches next to him, [I get weirdly hung up with keeping track where everything is during a scene, i have no idea why] “but the weather seemed so nice.”

“It’s lovely,” Mary said, pausing in her visual exploration of the patch of lawn overlooked by tall shrubs, the small patch of dwarf roses, and the climbing jasmine covering the fences, to sit on the other end of the bench. [the moment I decided that there was a backyard, I knew I needed to set a number of scenes in it. This is the first of a number I have planned]

“So,” Fitzwilliam began, before foundering. [these two awkward idiots struggling to talk about their feelings. Such fun!]

“Yes.” Mary gathered her thoughts. [I want to flag right now that I feel super weird about my fluff scenes. I would write them, and then not even be able to read over them for editing because I’d be like ‘is it too trite? I should just cut all of it] “I’m sorry about how I left things yesterday. I was surprised, and confused, and did what I always do in difficult situations, tried to escape [avoidance is life].” Fitzwilliam was looking out over the garden in a pointed manner, as if steeling himself for bad news [staring off into the distance in a stoic manner. Yes please]. “I like you. A lot. [eloquent] You’re fabulously fun to spend time with, and in the spirit of full disclosure, I’ve had a crush on you for ages. But,” Fitzwilliam’s small and slowly growing smile disappeared [that’s right, boy, don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched], “also in the spirit of full disclosure, I should give you an idea of why I acted the way I did.” Mary was fiddling with a hairband on her wrist and studiously avoiding looking anywhere else [more avoidance! such fun!]. “I was a pretty awkward child, growing up. [understatement. There’s a reason she scrubbed the digital record clean] I didn’t have any real interest in any kind of relationship until quite recently, and I don’t mean ‘it would be inconvenient right now so I’m ok with being single’, I mean ‘honestly thinking that I was aromantic because there wasn’t any other explanation’ [tfw you’re perfectly happy with how things are going and then #surprise, feelings move in and everything you ever knew turns out to be a lie]. There was the usual idiocy in my undergrad [we’ve all done some stupid shit in first year], but my actual relationship experience is pretty thin on the ground.” An understatement. [yet another instance of ‘that’s certainly one interpretation of events’] “So if we decide to go for this, you need to know that I’m likely to be a bit nervous and weird about it, and there are probably going to be things I struggle with.” [like all of human interaction]

Fitzwilliam placed a hand on her wrist, covering the elastic. [I’m a huge fan of Character B putting a hand over Character A’s to stop them fidgeting or similar. I also wanted to show that they’ve got a decent baseline of intimacy going here] Mary stared at his hand, not quite feeling up to eye contact [YES, MARY! AVOID YOUR FEELINGS!]. “Mary, nothing is stopping us from discussing what you want and are comfortable with [isn’t he just the most excellent human in existence?]. All I want is to not have to pretend that I don’t…” he was silent for long enough that Mary glanced up at him to see what was going on, her hair flopping about the place because there was a light breeze and her hair elastic was currently being held hostage [I try to avoid extraneous details. If I mention the hair elastic on Mary’s wrist, you’d better believe that that elastic is going to be a serious supporting player in the scene]. Fitzwilliam brushed her hair out of the way [#CurlyHairProblems] and left his hand there, cupping the side of her face [boy is a smooth operator]. “Mary, I’ve been in love with you from more or less the moment we met [good for you, lad, coming clean on that]. And I’m sorry to be dumping this on you as well [you fucking should be], but at least everything is out in the open now. I don’t care if we need to take things slowly, or whatever you need for this to work. I… I don’t particularly care so long as I’m with you.” [he has torn his heart out of his chest, and is offering it to her. How nice. Aren’t you glad I made you read a 12k porny interlude with a minor character in order to facillitate this?]

Mary was saved from having to formulate a coherent answer by a sudden unforecast and unexpected downpour [you’re welcome, Mary. This is an example of my approach to writing fluff without it getting too much: I call it ‘pile on the feels, slap on the arse’. Things are getting a bit heavy just now, and if the conversation were to continue, it would be way too heavy. So I pop in a comic element which means that when the conversation restarts, it restarts from a much lighter base point]. Despite all deliberate haste [I love using ‘deliberate’ as an adjective], they were both soaked through by the time they made it inside. “That puts a bit of a damper on things,” Mary remarked as they stood there, dripping, and tried not to laugh [bad jokes are the best]. Fitzwilliam just gave her a look which said ‘Mary, how could you?’ [all bad jokes need a commensurate reaction] Mary fought to suppress a shiver, because as balmy as the evening had been, it was no longer once the rain had begun. [and now we have Mary in a slightly vulnerable mode, which is new, and facilitates other things]

Fitzwilliam snapped to [good lad]. “Let me get you some dry stuff to change into, and I’ll put your clothing in the dryer. Leave your shoes there, and I’ll get you a towel.”

Mary left her shoes at the door, and removed her socks, which were also soaked, while Fitzwilliam sat on a handily placed stool and did the same. Mary followed him in and was soon presented with some towels and what looked suspiciously like a pair of pyjama pants and a henley. Fitzwilliam then showed her to a bathroom, and she dried herself as best she could, putting on the clothes she had been given. It was indeed pyjamas [platonic clothes-sharing. Yet another fun trope I am determined to expoit]. Mary then had first-hand confirmation of the fact that men’s shirts weren’t designed to accommodate bosoms. [#AboutTheAuthor] The buttons tended to gape, and when they were undone to relieve the tension on the fabric, they showed a decent amount of cleavage. Mary sighed, thanked the heavens that today was a good boob day [there are days when your breasts are behaving themselves, and looking good, and everything is great. There are days when the fuckers are determined to test you. This is a legitimate concern in life. Or at least it has been in my experience], towelled her hair, did damage control on the makeup she had been wearing (eyeliner and mascara, both waterproof, and eyebrow powder which decidedly wasn’t, but thankfully hadn’t run everywhere) [Mary isn’t much of a makeup person. She’ll apply a full face for events and the like, but unless she’s working (as she was on this day), she doesn’t bother. As such, she’s hyper-aware of the fact that she has stuff applied to her face which could be harmed by her environment. Also, when is waterproof makeup actually waterproof], and emerged, holding a bundle of her soaked clothing. Fitzwilliam had changed into jeans and a similar shirt, showed her to the laundry, and put her clothes to dry. He then handed Mary a pair of socks. “Sorry about the mismatch, I just don’t need to worry about that stuff any more.” He looked down at his foot and back up to Mary. “You know how it is.” [Characters saying ‘you know how it is’ about WILDLY UNRELATEABLE THINGS is another fave trope of mine]

“Not from personal experience,” Mary commented, “but thanks nonetheless.”

Fitzwilliam ushered Mary into the sitting room and let her put on the socks before he started talking [nice of him. It’s hard to carry a conversation while putting on socks]. “I’m happy to discuss logistics right now, although it should probably be mentioned that before the rain kicked off, I was very close to trying to kiss you.” [YES BOY! GET SOME!]

“We should probably discuss first,” Mary agreed. “I don’t even know where to begin, but…” she shrugged [use your words, Mary]. “According to a number of mates [I think you mean literally all of them], our interactions up to this point have essentially constituted what they would describe as dating, so I’m happy to keep going the way we have been.”

“And what sort of…” Fitzwilliam seemed to be struggling to articulate what he wanted to say. “What physical contact is…” [the sweet lad is trying to make sure he’s not doing anything she’s uncomfortable with. What a nugget]

Mary laughed. “I said aromantic. Asexual never entered into it [an important distinction]. If I’m honest, I rather enjoyed your territorial boyfriend act. [oh boy, did she enjoy the territorial boyfriend act]”

“You did?” he said, perking up. [he also enjoyed it, unsurprisingly]

“Very much,” Mary confirmed, moving across so that she was right next to him. “I liked all of the times you just put an arm around me, or pushed my hair off my face when my hands were occupied, or brushed your fingertips over some bruising, asking if I was ok,” Mary broke off with a shiver as his fingertips brushed along the side of her neck. [the ‘rugby bruising’, amirite, readers?]

“You look like you were stepped on by someone wearing cleats,” he commented. [this happened to me once. I had THE MOST QUESTIONABLE looking bruises and scratches on my neck for a couple of weeks]

“It happens,” Mary explained, which wasn’t, strictly speaking a lie [it does happen. Just not in this case].

“Are you ever not battered?” Fitzwilliam asked. [bless him, he worries about her]

“Off-season is pretty calm,” Mary reassured him. “And preseason isn’t too bad.” She took one of his hands, running her fingers over the veins at his wrist [always a fun thing to have your characters do]. “You shouldn’t worry about it. I bruise easily [the eternal struggle of ‘I’m fine, i picked up that bruise a month ago, it’s just taking a while to fade]. I’m invariably fine.”

Fitzwilliam captured her hands in his [is this because Mary started just poking the squishy veins? Probably. It’s the sort of thing she’d do]. “It’s hard not to worry about it when you have a handprint-shaped bruise and you haven’t even noticed it’s there.” [everyone starts getting worried the moment bruises start looking like hands. Bruising everywhere in weird indistinct shapes? No problem! One hand-shaped bruise on your arm, and suddenly everyone’s asking if everything is ok at home]

“Evie, you’re going to have to accept that I’m going to spend the majority of the time covered in fairly suspect bruising.” Mary squeezed his hands reassuringly [I swear I’ve spent way too much of the chapter keeping track of whose hands are where and what they’re doing. Is that weird? I don’t even know any more] and then tied her hair back [the elastic is back], because it was going everywhere, before shifting so that she was facing him directly. “And if you get worried every time I present looking a little bit worse for wear, you’re going to be worried basically all of the time.” Mary adjusted her hair, and as if the universe were personally tormenting her, her hair elastic snapped [There are three characters in this scene: Mary, Fitzminor, and Mary’s hair elastic. Who has just been brutally killed off. This probably constitutes minor character death at this point in the narration]. Mary groaned and flopped her head down, lamenting the passing of an elastic she had rather liked. [there is nothing more upsetting than the death of an elastic which you had broken in]

Fitzwilliam tilted her chin up and brushed back her hair, one thumb trailing along her cheekbone. Mary looked up at him. His eyes were roving over her in a manner which made her blush slightly [Dayummm, Mary, back at it again with the problematically timed blushing]. “You know,” he said, his hand resting at the back of her neck, “the sight of you, here, in my clothing, is horrifically sexy. And honestly, there’s only been one situation where I’ve been more sorely tempted to suggest all manner of impure acts.” [I mean, the whole post-wedding thing was just TEMPTATION EVERYWHERE, and good for him for not going there, even though he REALLY WANTED TO, because he didn’t think she would be receptive]

“After Jane and Charles’ wedding?” Mary asked, doing her best not to lean into his touch as he twined his fingers into her hair. [Her body is telling her yes, but her mind is telling her to try to keep it together at least for now. It’s a struggle]

Fitzwilliam smiled in lieu of an answer and leaned in towards her. “You know the answer to that,” he whispered [I was cackling so hard as I wrote that scene, just pumping it with as much sexual tension as I humanly could], his breath tickling her neck as his hand slid downwards to rest on her lower back. Mary allowed herself to be pulled closer to him. She could feel the warmth of his body, so close were they [radiant heat transfer - something I definitely write about more than the average author], and siezing the moment, she ran her hands through his hair, raising herself up onto her knees, so that they were eye to eye. Slowly she leaned forwards and pressed her lips to his. He stayed still, as if afraid that any movement might startle her off [terrified woodland creatures, anyone?]. After a very brief and very chaste kiss, she sat back down, and with a smile (and a blush), said, “Maybe I wanted you to.” [yes, girl! Embrace your desires!]

The kiss that followed, he initiated. It was neither brief nor chaste, and left Mary short of breath. He was not unmoved either. “I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time,” he admitted with a smile, leaning back down to meet her. [after all the torture I put you guys through, I needed for them to at least make out a little]

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yoolee · 7 years

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About Lee

@cavern-of-bells made a FUN LIST OF THINGS so I answered them.

1. What kind of food can’t you stand?: I fervently avoid all food that squelches – like grapes and ‘gelatinous snow fungus’ (that is a google-translated name for a mushroom in a soup my roomie from China made me once – aside from that ingredient, it was interesting). I’ve never, not once in my life, eaten Jello.

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?: Smoke alarm chirping. I could also happily do without pharmaceutical ads, which I think should be illegal, and election campaign ads.

3. Have you got any useless talents?: AHAHAHA. I can sing the chipmunk Christmas song and say the alphabet backwards? I’m also hypermobile—did a stint in the local circus as a contortionist in high school. (non-animal circus – just acrobatic acts)

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be?: Making people smile.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking: Mila Kunis, Barbara Palvin, Wendell Lissimore, Chris Evans, Zendaya Coleman, Natalie Portma, Godfrey Gao

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid?: READING (/daydreaming about book worlds) but also figure skating while we could still afford it. It was as close to flying as I could get!

7. What is something you’re proud of?: When I was in my MBA program, my 59 classmates voted me ‘Most Likely to Change the World’. It’s framed next to my diplomas. Though, to be fair, it also sort of haunts me because I feel like I’m not living up to it.

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate?: I despise being patronized. Being ignorant and refusing to admit it in the face of facts.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower?: Leader - not a good one, but, I’m not a follower.

10. What kind of student are/were you?: A really lazy, procrastinating one who still got A’s/B’s. I was a really good test taker.

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life?: Reading in class in 7th grade science. My teacher made a deal with me – if I could pass the pre-quiz at the start of every week, he’d let me read instead of pay attention, but he would get to pick the book. He introduced me to Michael Crichton and Anne McCaffery, which were my first forays into sci-fi, and my involvement in that has rippled through most of my major friend groups since. Alternately, attending a training at my first career job, which introduced me to the career I now have.

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion: Ants. I hate ants. Where there’s one, there’s hundreds, and there’s nowhere I can go that they can’t get too, and they’re small enough to crawl in your nose and stuff. I sat in a fire ant hill as a kid, which was strike one. Strike two was moving into a house that had been abandoned for seven months when I was in third grade – turned on the tub water and it came out black there were so many ants in the pipes, and they just POURED into the tub and swarmed up the sides oh god it was like a horror movie. Other than that, most of my fears are pretty average – failure, my family being hurt, etc.

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable?: I am self-centered enough to find myself in most characters – there’s usually one or two aspects that line up. Unless they are Lawful Good then I’m like…uuuugh. Nope, nothing there.

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties?: I am a giggly, ballet-dancing drunk. I get hyper paranoid about my spatial issues so I literally go into ballet-mode because the movements are naturally slower and more flowy. I am also pretty clingy drunk. I like to snuggle, which is funny because sober me is not big on touching or being touched. Not to overanalyze, but I think being drunk takes away the fear of that. At parties I am that awkward wall-hovering introvert who likes to find an extrovert and make them talk while I nod and wait to GTFO. I spent the entirety of my bro’s wedding reception babysitting a 4 and 5 year old because it was so much less stressful than making small talk (simultaneously playing Go Fish AND Who’s Who Monster Edition LIKE A CHAMP)

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone?: AHAHAHAHA no. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever honestly been in love – just more fond of one person than most. Invariably, I find I prefer my own company to theirs after a time.

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends?: This is a really hard one. 100 casual friends means more people to do stuff with, but, I treasure my close friends. I don’t know. Pass!

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak?: I. AM. SUCH. A. SLOB. *sobs* My room should have a hazard sign.

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy: I am not feeling creative – a bedroom that cleans itself, with lots of soft, fuzzy blanket piles and pillows, with tea services (including scones!) and lots of bookshelves. A view of a duck pond would be appreciated too lololol.

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?: I don’t have kids. I truly treasure spending time with the kids in my family, and I work part-time as a princess/elf/storyteller at the local zoo – I like kids, but, I am a really selfish and self-centered person, and I move on to new things—including people—with serious regularity. I don’t think I would be a good parent at all. I wish I could be, but, knowing my flaws, it would be really irresponsible to have kids.

20. What was your favorite book as a child? Elementary school – it was a book about a little black cat who went to boarding school, and there was a yellow spotted cat with a fire truck. Don’t remember the name. I also love the Wizard of Oz books (SO DARK). As a middle schooler – The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley. I needed a Mary Sue at that point in my life. Also loved the Dragonsinger series by Anne McCaffery, and everything by Mercedes Lackey and Tamora Pierce. In high school…The Things They Carried, I suppose. Now, probably Fuyumi Ono’s Twelve Kingdom’s series. It’s YA, but, the characters are so flawed, and so redeemed, I find it really interesting.

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about: Disney World

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated: The Emperor’s New Groove is the best Disney movie ever. ALSO, Mary Sues. Middle School me needed Mary Sues. I think most do. Go easy on ‘em.

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose?: UM. HM. Someone who doesn’t need to shower to smell clean? XD Lady Luck, maybe. It would be fascinating to watch – both good and bad luck – unfold all around.

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday?: This feels super arrogant – but I’d like to be a good enough author to have a book published and do a book signing. With people who actually come to get the book signed!

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?: I like to work behind the scenes. Usually I write like a multi-page rebuttal with linked references, but I rarely post it. Sometimes I do. I call my senators roughly weekly, for what that’s worth, but public discourse is not my thing.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?: ….uuuum. Hmm. Butterfly clips, maybe? But then, it was the 90s and I was eleven, so.

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?: I DON’T CRINGE AT MYSELF but Dragonball Z. XD I forgive my kid/adolescent self for a lot, okay.

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?: The willingness to publically, and politely, engage in debate in service of someone else. Genuine ability to interact with other people in a way that leaves them feeling better for having interacted with you.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.): LITERALLY, DUCKS. I love ducks. People give me ceramic ducks all the time. Also socks, because my grandma collected fancy decorative perfume bottles and one Christmas my mom and I went to like 10 stores looking for one she didn’t have and I pitched a FIT saying when I was older I was going to collect socks because you always need more, and there’s no way people would run out of options for me. My family thought this was hilarious and took me up on it. My grandpa shipped me socks from the dollar store once a month while I was in college.

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones?: I wish I did! I can cuss in quite a few, and I know some conversational Irish from studying abroad there and studying it.

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside?: Having lived in both – the big city. It’s too easy to self-isolate in the countryside, and for me, personally, that’s fairly unhealthy. Countryside is definitely prettier and more peaceful, just, not for me.

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving?: Literally all the time. Like, Mitsunari in SLBP for example!

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?: Ahahahaha give me all of the attention please /sigh

34. Favorite holiday?: Halloweeeeen. But I also really like Diwali even if I feel a little bit like I am trespassing/being a tourist. It’s just beautiful.

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously?: “PLANNED” AHAHAHA WHAT IS THAT WORD IDK. I am so last-minute and haphazard it’s absurd.

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) : The pleasure of reading books in middle school. Those ‘first’ exposures, without expectation or standards. EVERYTHING was magical and exciting, and I devoured it all. Alternately, college.

37. What hobbies do you have?: UM. I dress up as a princess/superhero and visit kids in the hospital which is…weird, I know. I get paid to do it at the zoo, and some parents reached out to them and asked if we could visit and then it became a thing. Less so now that I’m in a new city. Martial arts (Hapkido, Judo, Taekwondo), ballet, baking with zucchini, photoshopping, reading, writing SLBP fanfiction, playing otome games…XD

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have?: THE ABILITY TO FEEL WELL-RESTED AT ANY TIME. Or good luck, but I’d argue that would be more than mildly useful. Ability to find the right thing to say to cheer someone up!

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you: Online folks are usually surprised to learn I’m old? Friends IRL are usually surprised I’m Chaotic Evil (I won’t say I’m two-faced, I’ll say I try really hard to be nice, and I act like it well, but it is an act – I don’t genuinely possess any empathy to speak of. I will listen to you, but I probably don’t actually care, I just want to – there is a difference) and work folks are usually pretty surprised at the Chemistry background. FOLLOWERS OF THIS BLOG won’t be surprised but, I friggen love Waffle House. That usually throws people for al oop.

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out: That I’m bi? I was on BC for so long I thought I was ace, so when I finally developed a drive in my late/mid-twenties it was sort of shocking to realize it’s only rarely set to hetero, and like, I still don’t know how to act on that. ALSO for years I had no idea there was a little arrow on your gas gauge to tell you which side the gas pump’s on – comes in super handy in rental cars.

41. Worst injury you’ve had? Physically? Fell out of a tree as a kid and snapped an arm bone in half – one half went on top of the other. Other things have happened that took longer to emotionally recover, but, physically that was the worst probably. Weirdly, I fell off of the roof with no injury, but…idk I’m weirdly durable.

42. Any morbid fascinations?: Snake venom. I could probably write a dissertation.

43. Describe your sense of humor: I LOVE PUNS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I like ‘smart’ humor (puns are clever) and nerdy humor, but I don’t like mean humor. I also laugh at gallows humor a lot.

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose?: Okay this is really hard because I would be useless in most other eras and I would miss indoor plumbing and women’s rights and people not regularly dying around me. I am probably biased by being interested in times with the best myths/stories. Ancient Egypt? Viking Age? Basically any time period in China or Japan because my US-centric world history studies seriously failed me they are a bit of a fascinating mystery.

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at: LOL this would be a long list. (you said ‘thing’ singular, I am taking that as a friendly suggestion not a mandate) Push-ups (hypermobile elbows, okay). Cleaning. LOGISTICS AND PLANNING OH LORD. Editing my own work. SMALL TALK oh god I am the worst at small talk I even took a class on it trying to get better. Gracefully accepting compliments - how does one do that and not come off as obnoxious ;.;

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through: Most recently, dumping a Really Good Guy. A past me would have just quietly let it fade into oblivion and that would have been worse. I think?

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.): lololol oh my gosh. I don’t like offending people. So. I guess pretty one on my face.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?: Eeeeeeh.I guess optimist, but that’s mostly laziness.

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you?: That I have made their life better or brighter somehow.

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you: I am simultaneously incredibly confident about things and incredibly craven about people! And that’s hard for people to get sometimes. Like, my writing I am wholly confident of and proud of to the point of arrogance – as a thing. But the moment someone talks to me about it I get petrified because oh god what if I, as a person say or do something that turns them off to the point where they can’t enjoy the writing (the thing). It’s greatly exacerbated by the internet where I can’t read tone or facial expressions – but I’m still pretty bad about this offline too. Like, I hate even going to Chipotle or Qdoba where there isn’t a big line of people (if there’s a big line of people everything is hustling and bustling and moving along) – I greatly dislike social interactions that lack a script. But, put my project in front of a board of directors or the company president, and I will kick tush and take names. It’s a weird dichotomy, but that’s how I’m wired.

THIS WAS FUN. GOOD QUESTIONS

I TAG YOU, PERSON READING THIS.

#about yoolee

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