#time moves INSANELY slower when ur not h*gh every waking second of the day these have been the Longest 2 wks of my life

[alcohol-eyes]

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#2 whole weeks sobeR let’s talk abt it #this the longest I’ve gone without a crumb of weed in my system in 5 yrs and the second longest in 8 yrs #For a long long time I thought I was self medicating the adhd but turns out I was making it Significantly worse #I have an attention span now I can watch tv without scrolling on my phone or playing w fidget toys #My apartment has stayed perfectly clean for the past 2 wks #haven’t rly struggled with eating or sleeping routines are v important wit it tho #been relying heavily on safe foods I’ve eaten the same exact thing every day for 2 weeks but it’s fine #ashwagandha helps me not wanna peel my skin off in rage #time moves INSANELY slower when ur not h*gh every waking second of the day these have been the Longest 2 wks of my life #but also I have So Much more time to do things and SO much more energy to do the things #I thought being anxious and exhausted was just my constant state of being but turns out that was Also just the weed #The insane nightmares have been The hardest part but most of the time my dreams are just weird #Feeling emotions is weird I’ve cried more in the last 2 weeks than I have in the last 2 years #I cry about good things I cry about beautiful things art as a whole is just so moving #self regulating after stressful things like work or staying with my parents is definitely New as w as decompressing after socializing w ppl #I do things like paint and journal and make silly little bracelets now #Idk man it just hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be #A few months ago me and ******** were talking about how we’d actually k word ourselves without it #turns out the jazz cabb was making my depression and anxiety so much worse than it actually is #shits literally fine #Anyways don’t let ppl tell u u can’t develop an unhealthy relationship w weed I was h*gh every waking second of my day for 5 yrs #Last time I tried this I immediately became an alcoholic instead this time I don’t even feel the desire to have a single little drink #Overall I have A Lot more self control in every single area of my life #I don’t waste my money on dumb shit I can eat normal amount of food like a normal person #The thought of buying my favorite cookies and only having like Two of them used to be such an unreasonable concept to my little brain #I don’t know if this is gonna be a permanent thing I definitely know I can’t do it habitually #just like I learned I can be normal about alcohol if I don’t keep it in my house and only do it when socializing for special occasions #anyways if ur thinking about taking a break from ur favorite substance maybe give it a try #thx for coming 2 my ted talk if u read the whole thing I luv u take care of urself