#tmitawh update

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05.19.23

howdy everyone! it's been a long time since i've done one of these. also this is going to be a long post, so if you're like "i'm not reading allthat but stay safe tho" im sorry in advance.

i was going to wait until the two year anniversary of TMITAWH to post this, but i've been getting more and more asks about the status of this game, why it's on lockdown, when it's coming back, etc. largely, i've been dodging these questions or answering them with a vague "oh, i'm working on it!" which is very much the truth. just, not the entirety of it.

the truth is this: the story is done.

the real truth is this:

actually, before i get into that, i wanted to mention something else. i know i've waxed poetry over and over again and maybe it's getting annoying to hear it - so i'm very sorry - but it really is important to me to mention this because it's the motivation and the life-force behind everything that i do on this blog. i wanted to say thank you. i remember typing up the intro post to TMITAWH after getting the second COVID shot, delirious, but bolstered by a fever that had rendered me brave. i've been writing this story since 2019, i had the vision, the characters, the aesthetics and the understanding and i wanted to desperately to share. i never expected the level of support and love from so many of you. i've never had people genuinely vested in my worlds or characters. i remember getting the first comment about the prologue and slamming my computer shut and freaking out. i cried when i got my first ask telling me how much they'd love it, despite the small amount of content. the fever may have given me the courage to post it, but y'all gave me the courage to continue. and that means more to me than anything means to me in this world. for two whole years!! you've dealt with my wildly out of pocket thoughts, long absences, and have continued to show your willingness to continue the exercise in patience. i dont have people in real life that would do that for me. so thank you, thank you for being here, thank you for caring, thank you for the sweet comments. i wasn't lying when i said that i keep most asks unanswered because i go back and read them, hold the words close to my chest, and convince myself that i can do what i want to do when it comes to storytelling. thank you. forever and always. i know this feels maybe so much like im baring my soul, but i think it's important. TMITAWH saved my life. I mean that in every understanding, with the breadths and depths of my soul. I mean that with all the fibers and cells and atoms that make up me. This story saved my life. it's important to me that you know that in so many ways you all did, too.

so much of the reason i've been sitting on this is honestly mostly fear. it's choking me now as i write this. i'm scared of y'alls reaction, i'm scared of potentially disappointing anyone, and i'm scared of people just being overall pissed off. which i would get! this is not why the majority of you are following me. i'm asking for grace, for understanding, for mercy.

so, the real truth is this:

Tell Me If There's A Way Home is complete. there's a beginning, of sort, a middle, an end. but, it is not complete in the way you might expect an IF to be complete.

this is, simply, because Tell Me If There's A Way Home has been re-written and re-formatted into a novel.

over this past year, i was struggling with the story. things had along the way stopped making sense. this WAS the story i wanted to tell, i knew what had to happen in order to get the whole point of it across. is it better to get back what you've lost, what does it look like when you do get it back? but there was something that wasn't working. i could force the scenes, have The Traveler spend time with Cain in his little house talking about his past, or provide the option to explore the peaks of a mountain looking for a legend of old. i could do all this. but it was all wrong. the story had become corrupted along the way and the vision of it that i held onto so desperately was fading into obscurity.

so i opened a new word document and just wrote. i wrote for a whole year, and the story unveiled itself to be in the way i believe it was always supposed to. i understand so much more of this story than i did two years ago. sitting at 90k words, book 1 is officially done. it's essentially the same story you all had read, but different somehow. more than it ever could have been in an IF format. there are the characters you love. there's cain. there's silas. alice of course. there's the traveler as *her* own character. and there's the reverie. but the reverie is no longer Ezio/Elena. it's just elena now. its beautiful, gorgeous elena with her quick smile and hemlock eyes and her memories.

what happens now?

i'll be spending the next few months making the book as perfect as i can make it. i've been working through the rough draft - or alpha draft- and then i will ask some people to see if they want to read draft 2, draft 3 , draft 4. however many drafts it takes until i feel as though i can do no more. after this, i'll query agents and pray to god that in the hellscape publishing is in right now that im offered representation. after this, i'll pray to god that an editor likes the book enough to want to work with me on it. after this, i'll pray to god that a publishing house likes the book enough to buy it, put in on shelves. there's going to be a lot of praying to god. a lot of luck. so i think it'll be a while before anybody gets to hold the book in their hands, but god i hope y'all get to. i really hope you get to. more than that. i hope you want to.

after all of this, i'll be working on book 2. i already have the title. i already have the first chapter. i know exactly what happens and how.

i know there's maybe some confusion, so please feel free to send me asks about it. i will happily and gladly answer what i can and discuss it.

i'm so so sorry for the long post. this all felt important to mention and it felt important to be transparent with y'all. this was becoming a secret too hard to keep and i'm glad that i dont have to anymore. i hope you're not mad, disappointed, etc. that would really suck ass. i hope you're excited, maybe. i hope you're curious.

anyway. thank you for getting this far, if you did. thank you. i love you. i'll talk to you soon <3

#Tell Me If There's A Way Home #Tell Me If There's A Way Home update #tmitawh #tmitawh update #i feel sickkkkkk #and nervous #ahhhhhhhh #AHHHHH #please ignore the spelling errors #my computer is on her last legs #keyboard functionality is taking a huge shit

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TMITAWH is 2 years old????!!!!

i cant believe i missed it that sounds so ridiculous to me! in my defense, i was driving for two weeks straight

i don't have anything planned for celebration; i'm so sorry! but i do have some updates!

for those that missed it, tmitawh is now a novel and will no longer be told in an interactive fiction format. this has upset a lot of people. i've lost a lot of followers over this announcement. and i can understand this to some extent, but largely i have to continue to be unapologetic about my choices.

this story is one that has, in every meaning of the phrase, saved my life. writing in this little world has gotten me through some of the darkest times and carried me through to the next day. at some point, IF stopped being a media that was capable of telling the story i wanted to tell.

i'm disheartened by a lot of the anons i've received. some are hateful and unkind. others are upset that they no longer will have the opportunity to pursue Cain or Ezio, and a few mention that they're not interested in reading a lesbian story and will not be reading the book if it ever makes it to publication. i've disregarded the first, but the second cuts the deepest i think.

i have never, ever been shy on this app that i'm a lesbian. i feel as though i've talked endlessly about it. being a lesbian is a huge facet of my identity and being told that, in so many words, a story written for myself, with other queer people in mind, is not for them seems like such a stupid thing to say. like, i didnt write it for you. i wrote it for me. i wrote it for the lesbians who love so violently that they have to hide it away under their clothes, in between their teeth. i wrote it for the lesbians who have been told their love is disgusting, or wrong, or sexy and for a male's pleasure only. i wrote it for the lesbians who are told their love is okay as long as they never show it- as long as they only hold hands at most but never kiss in public. i wrote it for the lesbian who sits in pews and breathes over their hands and wonders if God loves them still.

i'm not sorry to not have written a story catered for you when the whole world is for you. leave me out of your self-absorbed, hateful little orbit.

please know, this blog does not tolerate hatred, bigotry, or harassment in any shape or form. and if you're going to fuck around with me, you sure as hell are going to find out with me.

on a more positive note!

i want to thank you all who have been overwhelmingly positive and supportive of my endeavors!! it means the absolute world to me!! i sometimes hold myself at night and think of all the kind words y'all have sent over these past two years and just sob. never in my life before this could i have imagined sharing my work with people who give a shit and care. it warms me in ways i cannot begin to describe. i love you and i hope you are well as always. my inbox/dms are open ANYTIME if you just want to chat, catch up, rant to me, or tell me about your pet. actually, please tell me about your pet.

Some quick publishing updates:

I'm 20k words out of 90k into draft 2. and i think this is going to be the last draft before i query (?????) i'm really very happy with the muscles and bones of the manuscript. now it's just some meticulous line editing i have to work through.

after this, i'm off to the query trenches. (im scared) if anybody has gone through this process before and has any tips, i'd love to hear them!

here's a little excerpt:

"She grabs hard enough to make sure of her presence, not enough to bruise. Some sick part of the Traveler’s brain says, Yes. Please. More. Press deeper. Press harder. Bruise me. Hurt me. She delights in the heat that blossoms from where the Reverie digs her fingers into skin. Eyes earnest, stubborn disposition to her jaw as the thick muscle there flickers in an implication of anger. “I will find you,” she’s shaping her tongue into a dagger at the Traveler’s throat. “I will find you again, and that is a promise.” The Traveler gasps, tilting her head higher. She blinks and— The Reverie’s mouth is on hers, hot and aching, and the Traveler blinks— Want flavors the Traveler’s tongue, the Reverie’s hands pressed tightly against her collarbone, teeth at her jaw. She blinks and— Is this Before or After?"

i also, stupidly, have officially started a twitter that i want to start working with. i know twitter is dead, but it remains to be very useful for publishing. if you'd like to follow me, im there on @ morganhollow25. i dont know how to use it. im scared to use it. but if you have a twitter maybe follow me there too! i absolutely plan to be on tumblr primarily. i love it here and have grown a tiny home in these webs.

i'll have more updates coming soon regarding FTMTB and other works. thank you all again <3

#long post #long update #update #tmitawh #tell me if there's a way home #this was a lot more lecture-y than i meant it to be #but i dont think i said anything unnecesary #writeblr

[blood-teeth]

howdy there everyone!!

i figured that i owed everyone a "what the hell is going on in morgan's life/ is she alive we haven't heard from her" post

i really don't like excuses so i won't give any - but i do believe that context is important when i'm creating something that i value your opinion thoughts, and love on.

this year has been a reckoning for my mental health - but it is different this year as i've been reaching out to others and professionals to hopefully...heal away from myself and in that outcropping, i'm hopeful for a new, sustainable version of myself; one i can love and care for in the future.

additionally, as with all things touched with time, i'm finding myself not very happy with TMITAWH. I'll go back and re-read and find myself cringing at the dialogue, the stilted sentences, the scenes and the pace. everything. everything makes me want to die about it. so it's on private right now while i go and rework essentially everything.

i can only hope that when the game makes its reappearance that it's a byproduct of my love and care and that it's something you can be proud to be reading.

i am working on a million of other things in the process, i have a book i'm writing, a game i just had a fever dream about creating - a video game with art and music and motion and the likes, and i want to be able to share those things with you guys because you all mean the most to me, ever.

in the meantime, i do have some stuff that i think you might like:

#tmitawh updates #thank you for everyone who has reached out to me #i hope this helps <3 #i'm trying to be battle ready again!! #rearing up and ready to go!

[blood-teeth]

howdy y'all and happy pride!! i'm coming to you with another not-so-weekly update!!

so there's been some radio silence from me, and I do apologize for that, but it's been because i've seriously been working on TMITAWH and trying to do some really cool stuff with it. 

it's been rough out here!! i made another move due to some shitty circumstances and am trying to get settled in here, as well. School has been A LOT for me so now it's the summer I'm hoping to have more writing time.  my iPad that i use to make the art for TMITAWH was stolen which was cool and epic and awesome so I'll have to figure out how to get a new one so I can start drawing again for the game. super big bummer but i'm trying to think about it positively. (or, as positively as i can)

as for the game!! the sick route has been delivered to the beta readers and i'm awaiting thoughts and feedback! everybody is pretty busy so please have patience with them as they work through it!! i'm hoping that it's enjoyable and makes sense. there's always a possibility that it doesn't and it's awful because i've been working on it for so long I may have had too narrow of a focus.

my patrons were given access to the alpha build today! if that interests you, you can find that here along with the alpha build, they got a pretty quick (and rough) look into something i've been working on for a while now.

a bit ago i mentioned wanting to make a soundtrack for this, something that played softly in the background while you read. well, that's been underway with a rough and uncompleted wip of the tune that plays in the truck in the prologue of the game. again, if you'd like to her the first minute of that, go check out my patreon. if not! no worries!! it'll be in the final demo update.

for the meantime, i'm starting on the other routes of the game, the diseased and the last frontier route. I'll be keeping my head down and busy!! I'll be getting to an embarrassingly large amount of asks over the next few days, too!

i love you all and thanks for putting up with me!! <3 <3 

#weekly update #interactive fiction #tell me if there's a way home #tmitawh weekly update

[blood-teeth]

howdy howdy howdy!

some small updates from me!!

i got my ipad back so thank fuck and now i can finally make art again for Tell Me If There's A Way Home which i'm, like, stoked about

second thing!! i've been getting back some feedback and constructive crit from a few readers and so far it's been pretty positive so i'm pleased!!

also: a shameless ( shameful) plug from me -

i'm writing a novel (read: attempting to write a novel) spurred on solely because i'm tired of the lack of wlw fiction and because there's another story I want to write. if you are interested in tracking my progress on it, follow my writeblr! i literally just made it so it's bare but I'll be introducing my wip soon enough.

this project is just that, a project for me to expend more creativity on and will not take away from TMITAWH'S progress whatsoever.

thank you all <3 <3

#small update #weekly update #tmitawh

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on the real, im trying to throw myself back into the IF/writing space because it really was the singular thing that had helped me heal the first time around.

im playing with the idea of another IF, and really just taking my time with it and letting myself not be so pressured by forcing myself to update or churn out chapter a ton - that’s where a lot of my angst came from with FTMB and when TMITAWH was an IF

also! I’ve been absent from the space long enough that im not sure im reading everything from my friends or if there’s been some really good stuff coming out lately.

If you have any recs, I’d love to read them!

#idk idk just thoughts #I get a lot of anxiety about traditionally publishing TMITAWH because it’s such a #it’s such a book #publishing is hell and that’s even if I get an agent and even then the book still may not EVER be published #so like what do I do with the story then #do I come back to IF with it and just make it literally you click through the story because it’s not gonna change #or do I self pub #OR do I just throw it up somewhere online #I care about this story SO much it’s like a piece of me #so idk #but also coming back to creating IF is different too because I’m scared about immediate feedback like that and what if people don’t like it #yada yada yada #but it may be like a fun thing for me to get my mind off things #momma (me) (derogatory) cannot go back to therapy #anyway #let me know some recs please love you bunches ♥️♥️♥️ #twine #IF #interactive fiction

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(readers of free content can be oddly entitled/confused that they're talking to individual creators not companies but anyway) really looking forward to the story when/however it comes out! your writing is absolutely fantastic to begin with, the vibes are fascinating and admittedly I'm always eager for more sapphic stories. I'm sure it can't be an easy jump to shift mediums on a story you're already sharing so seriously kudos on the bravery + determination to want to see your story through the way you envision it. so just feelin' lucky you already shared some of your work with us and looking forward to more if/when it's ready <3

thank you so much for sending this to me <3

that message was distressing to see pop up in my inbox but also just a little silly, i think.

i'm so hopeful of this book being out in the open! and i'm so so so beyond grateful for all the support i've been getting about the weird change and sudden shift in the direction it's now going in. graciously, @lapinlunairegames has been reading through the chapters and sending me amazing feedback and i'm so blessed- genuinely so so so appreciative of the hard work and care that other people are sending my dumb little grief-horror book about cowgirls and lesbians.

i hope one day soon i get to actually make people proud!! if one person feels as though my words have impacted them i think i can die feeling as though i've completed my goal in life.

your words are amazingly sweet and kind and appreciated <3 <3 i know my updates about TMITAWH are sparse, but i wanted to include this for you <3 something a little gay and everything hopeless

#thank u and i love u <3 #i hope you're having a good week! #tmitawh #tmitawh snippet #writeblr

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Just saw the TMiTAWH update, it's a bit of shame it's no-longer a game but my feelings are irrelevant. It's now a novel... So congrats! I'm so proud of you <3 Let me just say you won't be praying alone.

howdy!

i get being a little upset! i know that this was a story a lot of people wanted to make their own, but i'm hoping to still be able to achieve that in novel format...

thank you so much for your support! i'm gathering everybody's love and patience with me and hoping it carries me forward

#crosses myself

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1.20.22

howdy there!

i come bearing gifts at an unreasonable hour of the night (morning)

Tell Me If There's A Way Home has been officially, completely ported over!! It's all up to date as you know it to be!

I would never have been able to do this without y'alls support and encouragement, but especially @gamesbyalbie 's help with coding and wrangling Twine together. Please go give them a follow and support their game as well when it comes out! <3

one issue... the stats are still broken. i swear on my life and eventual grave that it will be fixed in the next update.

for those unfamiliar with the prior version of this story, in this update, you meet 2 of the ROs, a serpent-tongued drunk, and a god of old.

for those who are familiar with the prior version of this story, you'll notice that I changed some of the dialogue options and edited a few more lines here and there. other than that, the original holds true.

you can read here if you wish!

otherwise, stay tuned for the last part update in chapter 1, coming eventually (hopefully soon!)

thank you and i love y'all unbelievably <333

#tell me if there's a way home #tmitawh #update #twine #twine update #itch.io #interactive fiction #ugh please dm me if you notice something funky #i pray to god that nothing is wrong but #you literally never know #i am tired #interactive fiction update #IF #IF update #WIP update #IF wip #wip

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howdy y'all!

i very well know that this is not a weekly update but it is my first update on here since having a patreon!

as promised, my patreon update post goes a lot more in-depth about my thought processes in writing, what to expect with this next update, and a sneak peek. if that interests you at all go check out my patreon!

if not, that's totally okay and i still love y'all forever and a day <3

so! mechanic-wise, i think i fixed my stat bar. it's working for me and not adding up to any weird numbers so i'm happy about that!

i also got the character customization up and running! thrilled!! i cant wait to hear about y'alls Travelers <3

writing wise, i am THIS close to finishing the sick route in its entirety. it will be the longest route, so I just have to finish the other two routes, get them read and edited, coded, and then out to y'all! i am so excited for chapter one to be completed because I have a ton planned for chapter 2.

anyway! that's about it from me!! if y'all have any thoughts or questions let me know <3

#weekly update #tell me if there's a way home #tmitawh #interactive fiction

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1.23.22

howdy howdy howdy!

I'm trying to keep these Weekly Updates a little more consistent, so here's an actual game content update from me!

over the past few weeks, i started my transition to Twine, something i honest to god never thought i would be able to do. in my head, i was thinking that if i ever made another project, that i would finish this one first in ChoiceScript and then build the second in Twine. obviously, that isn't the case as Tell Me If There's A Way Home is now fully ported to Twine on Itch.io

now that I have gotten this crucial task out of the way, I can once again shift my focus to writing. i wrote a little last night and i was surprised to see how much i had actually missed writing these characters, putting myself into a hot and bloody and rotten landscape and figuring out the intricacies, building something from the ground up to be able to be recognized later on in the game

that being said, i am only roughly maybe halfway through the sick route, the others: the diseased route and the last frontier route, have yet to be written. the sick route has roughly 10k words, with plenty more to go.

so... expect the last installation of chapter 1 to be Large.

next week's goals:

- make a lot of progress with the sick route, hopefully finish it, probably not.

- write write write write

i think that's about it from me! have a good week everyone!!!

have a sneak peek! on me!

this is @thevoid-if 's character! they won in the follower celebration contest!!

#weekly update #tell me if there's a way home #tmitawh #interactive fiction

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Update : 7.17.21

- I added some title chapter art, which i will post down below

- created an asexual option for the sexuality choice

- took away the bashful phrasing when meeting Alice for the first time

i’m hoping that the next part of this story will be out shortly!! in the meantime, thank you to everyone who’s wanting to stick around long enough to see where this little project of mine is going! 

for those who have yet to read it and are wanting to check it out, here’s the intro link! 

#interactive fiction #if wip #if update #tell me if there's a way home #tmitawh #if #art #tell me if there's a way home update

[blood-teeth]

Egg Drop Soup? (´• ω •`)

aww egg drop soup!

Egg Drop Soup: Do you have any author/writeblr recommendations?

so i've got a TON!

@atrial-ofhorror-if is my love and has been here for me since like, the early days of this blog (not that i'm an old one mind you but I think Summ started following me the first week I made this ) I love them they've been so so thoughtful and kind this whole trip and they actually recently just dropped their own wip!! i would go and check It out i think it's beyond cool!!

@gamesbyalbie albie is such an amazing person with a sweet heart and smart brain. they've helped me myriad times with coding and comes up with the COOLEST concepts for wips.

@kalorphic i love them too they are so fun and their writing is fantastic and I feel like they have some of the most interesting ROs and are always so sweet and kind to everyone they interact with on here.

@magiciansvoyage arlo has this AMAZING wip that is such a fresh concept it blew my mind when they first announced it. fun writing and i would 100% check it out

@lifesupreme-if so so so sweet genuinely. always so excited to talk to people about literally anything I love her I feel like she's always so active which is such a relief because I feel like being an IF author means it's hard to be super active all the time.

@townofcrosshollow us cowpoke authors gotta stick together!!! but seriously an amazing concept and they're actually the blog that made me feel comfortable with posting a cowboy-themed IF. there aren't a whole lot out there so I was worried that nobody was even going to read this stupid little game of mine. they for sure gave me the confidence to do so.

@luckycamden caitlyn does write!!! but most importantly I feel like she's one of IF's biggest cheerleaders. she is so supportive and always so excited and positive whenever I get a chance to talk to her about my work and ugh she just melts my heart <3

@larkin-if another cowboy IF!! <3 <3 ALSO another blog that gave me the confidence to put myself out there and post TMITAWH. i'm so so excited for the twine port of larkin <3

@innerdemons-if i love ash's story beyond belief. i just moved to seattle like literally 4 months ago so this was such a cool WIP for me to find because the setting is like here!!!! so so cool and so sweet and I am keeping my eyes PEELED for the next update.

ok wow this is getting long, basically I love everyone and I wish I could tag every blog I follow but I cant

if i forgot you and you're thinking you should be on this I'm sorryyyyyy I'll add onto this later if I remember

#mwah #if recs #blog rec