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onlyjaeyun · 5 months

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alright now WHAT THE FUCK? so much shit just happened i need a moment to unpack everything. okay so first of all fashion icon yn ☝️ jay is so proud of u bby. second of all yn is gONNA CO-COACH WITH SUNGHOON? 😨😨 so much stuff is happening i feel like im about to forget smth important from the new chap again but YOOOOO WHY IS SUNGHOON SO SASSY 😭 the sassy men apocalypse is so real 🤕 but pookie calm down pls he keeps eating yn up if i had someone pointing out my daddy issues like that i would straight up cry. ngl if i were in yn’s place i would’ve blocked from the first “what the FUCK” but that’s just me personally 😶 ANYWHO jaemin what the FUCK 😨😨😨 i’m actually so like ?!?!?! he’s so cheating he’s literally actually deadass wallahi fr fr cheating ??????????? like the fucking audacity that some male species have is actually jaw dropping. how r u gonna get all insecure about yn being surrounded by her friends who r practically like her brothers and go “i don’t feel comfortable around them” like WHAT 😨 the self projection is sO REAL. and bby. yn, my love. my angel. my everything. dump his ass i’m begging you. EVEN IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE that u can’t find anyone better and you won’t be able to find anyone after someone as shitty as CH jaems (which u for sure will!!) it’s so much better to be single rather than be with someone who literally does not give a singular flying fuck about you. like girl protect your dignity 🤕🤕 break up with his ass even if he’s the last bf you’ll ever have it’s better than being with someone who’s CHEATING. anywho now that that’s out of the way, really jaemin. jakyung??? REALLY???? ngl the whole hoon & jakyung convo really made me almost throw up the whole time “i can’t study when im tense like this” please do me a favour and suck my dick ew i gen can’t. also WDYM THEYRE GONNA FUCK SO MUCH SOONER THAN ANY OF UR SMAUS? 😨 mamas pls calm down i am not prepared for a hate fucking between yn & hoon (i am. im playing im so seated for it.)

anywho my rant for chap.4 is done and i just wanted to say congratulations zadie !!! you know u ate that smau up SO WELL (especially when it’s supposed to be e2l and the characters are supposed to be hated for character development purposes) when you get anons in ur inbox hating on your work 🥰 like u fr made it and i’m so proud of you ! anyways CH ate. easily one of the best enha smaus in the making with your amazing writing & plot development sending u so much love zadie & so many hugs & kisses i can’t wait to see u piss more ppl off and i can’t wait to see the new CH chapters <333

(no but like genuinely is it that hard to SCROLL AWAY from smth that doesn’t please you? 💀 i don’t get it cuz i’ve seen works that i personally didn’t like yet i never felt the need to go in their inbox and be like “ur shit is so unlikeable dawg what the fuck” because what??? wasting my time like that when i could be searching for a diff fic that i could actually like.

like hello people have different tastes. there might be smth that u don’t like (that one anon) that a different person would gladly eat up (me basically) and there’s absolutely no reason to shit/hate on other people’s works/tastes. ESPECIALLY on tumblr. an app where u get to read literally top quality work for FREE.

and i’m sure so many writers are open for feedback as long as it’s NICE. you can very easily send feedback about a shitty work WHILE appreciating the writer’s effort and hard work spent on it even if the end result didn’t satisfy you. but to straight up go “ur shit is unlikable” IS CRAZY FOR ME 💀💀💀 like pls go into ur notes app or go into ur drafts and write shit that’s “likeable” for u instead of hating on miss zadie 🙏🏼 anywho im sorry this became so long but that was so unnecessary like anon grow up pls you’re better than this

i just want u to know zadie that this is YOUR work. (really want to emphasise this especially after that one ask u got during SB and how it made u pull away from the DDLG concept), the first person that should be satisfied with your works is YOU. if you want to add ddlg pls do if u don’t then don’t if u want to extend the e2l plot in CH please DOOOO these are works and literally universes that you’re creating according to your own liking (and i promise whatever you put out will be amazing because all your works are actually so incredible you’re UNABLE to make smth bad) so pls pls pls add whatever u want !! write whatever you want as long as YOURE satisfied then that’s all that matters ! again love u so much i hope you’re taking care of urself <333

& and always keep your foot down these bitches necks ☝️💯

-⁉️

THERE YOU ARE HI ANGEL BABY 🤭🤭🤭🤍 i hope youve been doing well and are taking good care of yourself !!!!!

gonna try my best and respond to all parts so excuse me pls if i forget any 😭

I ABSOLUTELY AGREEEE. being single is so much better than being with someone like CH!jaems and im afraid ch!y/n's gonna need a while to realise that 🫣 and i know hhe whole jakyung x hoonie part was a little 😞 bc like why would he do that we all know he's madly in love with his enemy (he literally genuinely hates her) but its for the plot i promise 😞😞😞😞

i have also decided to add the smut a little earlier mostly bc i havent properly written smut for hoonie yet and i want to so bad like he's so dreamy and so mean it manes me want to spread my legs and go feral like full on begging and shit so the reason behind the early scheduled smut scene is mostly because of my hunger for sunghoon (jake look away baby)

and the whole not liking a character situation with the E2L is somehhing i struggled with a lot because i 100% agree with you hence the reason i responded the way i did but i genuinely get the nonie bc like thats our hoonie and i make him look so bad BUT I PROMISE ITS FOR THE PLOT 😭😭😭

i will also never get the whole idea of going into someone's inbox and just ranting and complaining when you could just..click away but whatever honestly sto ive accepted that this smau will trigger a LOT of people and i have come to the conclusion that it justa pproves my thoughts of doing what's necessary 🫣

thank you so, so much for your sweet words baby. i do need those reminders every now and then simply because as a writer i tend to get caught up by all the engagement and interactions and asks and comments and the numbers that i tend to forget who i'm writing for in the first place. i hope you know this ask literally means the world to me and i love and appreciate you so so so much, sending you a big kiss rn 🥺☁️🫧🩷

#; mailbox 📬#; cold hearts

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clawsandblood · 3 years

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5 - Betrayal

link to ao3

first part on Tumblr previous part on Tumblr

It was only sometime next morning that Borna’s phone lit up with the notification of a message from Dorian. The actual message was read even later, after both Borna and Steven dragged themselves out of their beds into the kitchen to eat their breakfast.

animal carcasses bleed a lot 🤷

was hauling it off the road 💦 💦 with the other guy 😑 and got the worst of it 😭😢

thanks for pretending u dont know me 🙏🙏

lowkey saved me 🙏🙏🙏

ur a real bro 👊 💯

Borna showed Steven the messages after explaining the events of the previous night.

“Did he just bro-fist you?” Steven asked incredulously.

“That’s what she said,” Borna replied automatically. “But yeah, apparently he did.”

Steven threw his hands up. “Why must everyone be so shady?” he complained loudly.

His hand narrowly missed his mug, which Borna automatically moved further away from the edge of the table.

“Do you think he’s got anything to do with Madam Reid and her organization?” Borna asked.

Steven shrugged. “There’s only one way to find out,” he said.

Borna nodded. “Go to that super secret meeting.”

“No!” Steven was looking at him, scandalized. “We can just go over to his place, corner him again and-”

“Torture him for information?” Borna finished the sentence.

Steven snorted. “Sure, we can have a karaoke night until he caves in.”

They ate in silence for a minute.

“But for real, what do we do?” Steven asked. “Shit is getting really weird.”

Borna shrugged. “We’ve got two leads, you could go bug Dorian and I can go to that meeting.”

“We can both go bug Dorian and you won’t have to go there.” Steven was looking at Borna hopefully.

“You really don’t want me to go, do you?” Borna asked.

Steven huffed. “I just don’t like the idea of you going by yourself to a shady event hosted by shady people.”

“The whole werewolf thing necessitates some degree of shadiness,” Borna pointed out. “They can’t advertise this shit without getting caught.”

“But-” Steven sighed. “Why do you think this is so hush-hush? It’s not like existing as a werewolf breaks any laws.”

Borna gave him a long-suffering look. “Because why would people react badly to people that are different from them.”

“Ah.” Steven deflated. “Nevermind, that was dumb.” He chewed his lip. “I’ll ask Dorian to meet up,” he finally said. “Friday is soon and I’d like to do this before the… meeting.”

“Okay,” Borna said, defeated.

Steven’s fingers flew over the screen and then he put down his phone. He barely set it down when it buzzed. Steven picked it up and showed Borna the message.

yea 💯💯

im free after 4

just say where

loved hanging out with u 2 👌 👌 despite the bar fight n shit 😀 👊

“He’s got no idea, does he?” Borna asked after reading the texts. “And why does he text like a fuckboy?”

Steven sighed deeply. “Who would have thought a self-proclaimed caveman would be prone to overusing emojis.”

“We could go tomorrow?” Steven suggested. “I’d run then straight to work.”

Borna nodded. “I’ve got the morning shift, I’ll be free by then.”

Steven took his phone again and typed the message. “Asked for tomorrow at half past,” he announced.

The phone immediately vibrated. Steven unlocked it and made a face.

“He can’t?” Borna asked.

“No.” Steven showed Borna the screen, his face screwed up in distaste. “It’s just the fucking emojis.”

totally 👌 💯

cant wait 😁 😘

“Jesus,” Borna said.

---

They met up at Dorian’s apartment again, Steven all winded from climbing four flights of stairs. Dorian welcomed them both awkwardly, but enthusiastically, showing them in.

“What’s the occasion?” he asked cheerfully, taking out some glasses from the cupboard. “Anything to drink?” he offered. “Beer? Coffee?”

“Just water, please,” Steven replied, still wheezing slightly.

Dorian rambled as he filled up Steven’s glass, a jittery quality to his motions. “I hope you don’t mind that it’s kinda messy, I never have guests, and I didn’t have time-”

“It’s fine,” Borna said. Aside from one wayward blanket on the floor and an overflowing ashtray they were sitting in an almost pristine room. It looked like an aged up, scaled down, mismatched version of rooms from furniture catalogues. Almost as if a child would try to make a collage of their dream home with expectations based purely on 70s soviet interior design.

Dorian finally settled down on the sofa.

“We need to talk,” Steven said without a preamble.

Dorian’s face fell. “About what?”

“Start with why were you sitting in a car, covered in blood, pretending not to know Borna,” Steven said.

Borna pulled out Madam Reid’s business card. “Does this mean anything to you?”

Dorian’s eyes widened. “So she is here!” he exclaimed. Taking a moment to compose his face into something resembling neutrality, he gave the card back. “She’s…” He stopped, closing his mouth and opening it again. “My boss?”

“Is she your boss or is she your boss, among other things?” Borna asked.

Dorian gave him a long look. “She probably told you, didn’t she?” he asked.

“Told him what?” Steven cut in.

“She probably didn’t tell you,” Dorian said. “You’re not… you know.”

“A werewolf?” Borna asked bluntly.

Dorian nodded. “I don’t know if I should talk about this with-” He gestured to Steven. “Sorry, man,” he added sheepishly.

“If you don’t tell us both now I’ll tell him later,” Borna said.

Dorian met both their unmoving stares. “Okay, okay,” he mumbled. “So you know that there’s this organisation connecting all the werewolves, right?”

They both nodded.

“Well, we need to make sure none of us gets revealed to the general public.” Dorian sighed wearily. “And this also includes taking care of the feral ones.”

“Feral?” Steven had concern written all over his face.

Dorian shrugged. “Some get so caught up in the euphoria of the wolf form they don’t want to change back,” he explained. “With time they completely forget who they are. Can cause a whole lot of trouble.”

“And what do you do with those?” Steven asked, voice low and wary.

“We shoot them.”

Borna placed a hand on Steven’s shoulder, who was already ready to launch himself at Dorian.

“And when were you going to tell us about that, huh?” Steven snarled. “Don’t you think that’s an important detail to mention?”

Borna pulled him to lean back on the couch. “How common is that?” he asked.

Dorian shook his head. “Not very. Last night was the first call in months.”

“So that’s why you were covered in blood that night.”

Dorian nodded. “We accidentally hit him with the car and then Gary finished him off with a bullet. It was quick, but burying the body was messy.”

Borna nodded thoughtfully. “Is that all you do under Reid?”

“No, not at all.” Dorian’s face cleared up, his demeanor losing the gloom. “It’s kind of like a… support network, you know? There’s things that we have to take care of for the good of the whole community, but if you’ve got problems, even if they’re completely unrelated, you’ll get help!”

Steven and Borna exchanged dubious glances. “That sounds very good,” Borna slowly said.

“Too good,” Steven concluded. “Where’s the catch?”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “There’s no catch, we just have to stick together, you know?” He shrugged. “Like we all immediately decided to stick together after finding out we’re all trans!”

“Sounds legit,” Borna said.

Steven huffed indignantly, but refrained from commenting.

“Is the interrogation over?” Dorian asked. “I was actually really looking forward to spending some time with people that aren’t my coworkers, but not like this.”

“One last thing,” Steven said.

Dorian groaned.

“Do you know about anything happening on Friday?”

Dorian nodded. “We’ve got the monthly meetup. Why?”

“I’m invited,” Borna answered.

“Shit.”

“And why is that bad?” Steven asked sharply.

Dorian took a deep breath. “Turning other people without any consultation within the group is generally… frowned upon,” he said. “It would be best if we pretended that we don’t know each other.”

“And why don’t they want you to turn people without their approval?” Steven asked.

“Recklessness. Bad characters.” Dorian shrugged. “Better to have others take a look to make sure no one too problematic ends up with powers.”

Borna nodded. “And if it happens anyway?”

“I don’t know, never saw anything like that happen.”

“Until you did me.”

“Until I did you.”

“That’s what she said,” Steven mumbled absent-mindedly. Then he looked upon the clock on his phone. “Shit, I’m gonna be late!”

He got up, making sure that he had everything he needed with himself. “Work,” he explained when Dorian shot him a puzzled look.

“You too?” Dorian asked, looking over to Borna who also got up, getting ready to leave, but Dorian’s question made him pause. “No.”

“Then you could stay for a bit?” Dorian asked. “If you don’t have anywhere to be?”

Steven shot him a glare, but Borna shrugged and put down his jacket. “Sure,” he said, ignoring Steven’s tightly pressed lips.

Dorian and Borna walked Steven to the doors, saying goodbye, Dorian valiantly trying to melt Steven’s icy demeanour.

“Stay safe,” Borna said, patting Steven on the back.

“You too.”

Steven didn’t need to give Dorian an extra glare to demonstrate what he meant, but he did it anyway.

After the doors closed Dorian let out a breath. “He really doesn’t like me, huh?” he said awkwardly.

“Biting people, turning them into werewolves and failing to explain key elements tends to invoke that reaction, yeah,” Borna replied dryly.

Dorian shot him a sheepish gaze. “Sorry?”

Borna snorted. “It’s alright, he’s taking it way worse than I am, honestly.”

They returned to the living room.

“You sure you wouldn’t like a beer?” Dorian asked. After a moment’s thought Borna nodded. “If you’ll have one,” he said.

They sat down on the couch again, much less tense than before.

“So what is it like?” Dorian asked.

Borna took a sip. “It’s still so early,” he said. “Spent last few days feeling like shit.”

Dorian nodded in sympathy. “Those weren’t fun for me either.”

“How long has it been for you?”

“A few years,” Dorian answered, his face growing more solemn. “They found me at a… bad time. Helped immensely.”

Borna nodded wordlessly. Dorian was staring in front of himself, fingers toying with the edge of the label on his bottle.

“I was stuck with my shitty family, failing my studies, closeted as hell. Would start fights with people just to feel something.” Smiling wryly, he looked up back at Borna. “One night I started a fight with one of the wolves but we somehow befriended each other. It was him who suggested to turn me.”

Borna nodded. “It sounds like they really helped you.”

“They did, it’s just so…” Dorian trailed off. Then he leaned forward, smiling conspiratorially. “Don’t you feel more in charge of your life?” he asked, voice low, but fervent. “Don’t you feel like you own your body more than you ever did before?”

“I…” Words died on Borna’s lips.

“I’ve seen how you two came here today,” Dorian said, sounding a touch more like his usual self. “You didn’t break a sweat, meanwhile Steven was huffing like a steam train from all the stairs.”

“You’re right,” Borna realized, brows knotting. “That was weird.”

Dorian smiled smugly. “That’s just a start.”

---

They ended up chatting for hours, exchanging stories, jokes, music recommendations, veering away from heavier themes after Dorian’s little confession. It got late by the time Borna got back home, though Steven was still at work. As he worked the morning shift the next day, he went to sleep without much preamble - as curious as he must have been, Steven would get mad if Borna lost sleep waiting for him to come home so he could report all the details of the hangout.

---

Dorian woke up with a swooping sense of excitement in his stomach. He had to survive his mind-numbing shift first, but then it was the time for the meeting, and meetings were good. The time in the store dragged like never before, the usual anticipation exacerbated by the fact that Borna was coming too.

His phone started vibrating, the screen showing three poop emojis. Dorian sighed, picking it up. “What is it?” he asked.

“Am at the back doors,” Gary’s voice crackled through the tiny phone speaker. “Let me in, I’ve got a package.”

“Coming,” Dorian replied and put the phone down. Casting a glance at the store windows, he left his chair, disappearing through the curtain to the back.

Unlocking the doors, he was greeted by the sight of Gary’s bulging arms wrapped around a giant cardboard box. He stepped aside, holding the doors open.

“It’s a big one,” Gary said needlessly. “Natalie will send someone to collect it.”

Dorian nodded. “Just put it on the floor there so it won’t get in the way.”

Gary put down the boy with a dull thud, pushing it towards the wall. “Did you talk with Natalie these days?” he asked.

“No, did she hear any new gossip?”

“She said there’s a new wolf in town.”

Dorian carefully schooled his face into an expression of surprise and interest. “Oh, really?” he asked, voice almost not wavering at all. “Does she know anything more?”

Gary smiled slyly. “She said he was one of your sort.”

The resulting eyeroll was completely genuine. “And what does that mean?” Dorian asked sarcastically.

“I don’t know,” Gary said innocently. “But she said he was kinda cute.”

Dorian shooed him towards the exit. “Out!” he yelled, slapping Gary lightly.

“I’m going, I’m going!” Gary exclaimed, cackling loudly. Dorian shut the door behind him, laughing despite himself.

---

Dorian freshened himself up, making sure to put on one of his nicer shirts. He had a bit of patchy stubble, but after a moment’s thought he decided to leave it. He didn’t have much time anyway. Once he’d get embarrassed by the desire to make himself look nice for the meetups, but he spent too many days wearing whatever he grabbed from the wardrobe in the morning, too sleepy to really care. It was nice to feel pretty once in a while. Shrugging his jacket on, he left his apartment.

Gary was waiting for him with the car, honking once when he saw him get outside.

“Hurry up, pretty boy!” he shouted.

Dorian jogged to the car and got in. “Sorry,” he said, out of breath. Then his face screwed up. “What the fuck is this smell?”

“It’s my new cologne,” Gary replied defensively.

Dorian shot him a pitying look. “I still can’t believe you’re a wolf,” he said. “Can’t you smell-”

“You’re the one to talk,” Gary grumbled. “You smell like cheap soap and stale cigarettes.”

“Why do we need to come early anyway?” Dorian asked, ignoring Gary’s remark.

“We need to set up some things.”

“Okay, why do I need to come early?”

Gary snorted. “Maybe Madam thought you could do with some extra workout.”

“Fuck off.”

---

They met up at a café, small and secluded, but most importantly private and owned by another wolf. It was warm, walls covered in wood panels from which photos of nature and a few hunting trophies hung. The windows had white curtains, allowing the patrons extra privacy, and the patio was lined with large potted plants. Natalie was already waiting for them at the entrance.

“Hi!” she chirped. “Samara needs some help with hooking up the projector to the laptop, and someone needs to rearrange chairs and tables.”

“I can help Samara,” Gary said quickly, earning a stink-eye from Dorian.

“Great!” Natalie exclaimed. “After you’re done Madam will want to speak to you.”

Gary and Dorian nodded, exchanging looks.

Dorian felt his palms sweat. “Let’s get to work, then,” he sighed and they entered the café.

Miles, the café owner, was already waiting for Dorian. He was an older man, with a weathered face and salt-and-pepper beard of an admirable length. “Come on, kid,” he said. “I’m too old to move these things by myself.”

Dorian looked miserably at heavy solid-wood tables and chairs. “Me too,” he mumbled.

---

A sweaty while later Dorian and Gary reconvened at the back of the room.

“How was doing some real work like?” Gary asked smugly.

“Sucked,” Dorian replied. “How was getting rejected by Samara for the millionth time like?”

“Sucked,” Gary admitted.

Dorian cackled, earning himself a rather massive elbow to the ribs. They walked through the curtain behind the counter, stopping in front of the doors to the office. Gary knocked.

“Come in,” Madam Reid called from inside.

They entered, closing the doors behind themselves. Madam Reid shut her laptop and put away a stack of papers. “Thank you for helping Samara and Miles,” she said.

“Anytime,” Dorian mumbled.

“You’re probably wondering why I wanted to talk to you two,” she said.

They nodded.

Sighing deeply, she stood up. “It has come to my attention that there’s a new wolf in town.”

Gary nodded. “Heard it from Natalie.”

“Yeah,” Dorian added hoarsely.

“It’s always very risky to turn someone without the help of the community,” Madam Reid continued. Then she fixed her steely gaze upon Dorian. “So you can probably imagine how shocked I was to learn that one of my own did that.”

“Dorian?”

It’s been a while since Dorian heard Gary’s voice this fragile, this hurt. He wanted to do something, to turn around and tell him that it’s not like that, except that it was, and that Dorian was too frozen on the spot to do anything other than just stand there and stare back at Madam Reid.

“You must understand we have to tell others about it,” she continued. “Things like this must be dealt with communally.”

Dorian nodded mutely. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to make a sound if he tried.

“And I think that it would be best if you didn’t take part in the meeting today,” Madam Reid said gently. “Some might get… upset after being told the news.”

Dorian nodded again.

“Gary?” she said, finally releasing Dorian from her gaze. “Can you stay with Dorian?”

“Yeah,” Gary replied hoarsely.

Madam Reid looked at Dorian again. “I know this is scary, and we’re upset, but we don’t want you to do anything rash that could hurt you,” she explained. “We can find a way to solve this constructively.”

She put her papers and laptop in a bag. “Wait here, please?” she said. Exiting the room, she gave Gary an encouraging squeeze of the shoulder. The lock clicked behind her and then Dorian and Gary were left alone.

“Don’t you trust us?” Gary asked, and Dorian’s vision blurred with tears.

“It’s not that,” he whispered, sniffling lightly. He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder, gently pulling him to turn around.

“We’ve been through so many things,” Gary quietly said.

Dorian avoided looking at his face, staring at the wall instead. He took a deep breath. “I know.”

“Why did you even do it?”

Gary’s hands now gripped his shoulders and Dorian could feel him trying to catch eye contact. More tears sprang up to his eyes and he finally looked at Gary who was just a smear through the tears.

“I’m so scared,” he confessed and then Gary scooped him up in a hug.

“You know how lone wolves usually end up,” Gary mumbled into his hair.

Dorian nodded, wiping his tears in Gary’s shirt. The wetness on his cheeks felt too much like blood.

#whumptober2021 #no.5 #betrayal #OC #fic #steven #borna #dorian #madam reid #gary #writing

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