#uhh these got shorter and shorter bc i think i really need a nap so im gonna go over these when i wake up to make sure there arent any typo

[tsume-awase]

// 1, 3, 4, 11, 15. asking for a friend. me, i mean. i'm asking for me. i'm the friend

ask and ye shall receive....

what would completely break your character?

As infallible as he’d like you to believe he is ,there are two factors that hinges on for the most part. Firstly, Kamakiri is someone who needs a purpose in his life to function. If he in any way finds himself crippled, or unable to fulfill the ideals and goals he’s built his life around, he just...doesn’t see a point anymore. He doesn’t see his life itself as being inherently valuable. If he’s getting by just...existing, then it’d be better to just. Die. 

Secondly, putting Kamakiri in a position where he opens up emotionally to a person, only to have those people yanked out of his life sets him on a quieter, slower track of self destruction. The voice that convinces himself he lives for one thing only tells him that nothing has changed--his goal remains the same, he’d never be so foolish to form lingering attachments to others, not in this line of work. If he were to admit that to himself, that he was weak, that he let himself love and trust people only to have that backfire on him, it’d be admitting the defeat of the very mindset that gave him a will to live in the first place. So he can’t. But he knows it, deep down, that he’s never been the person he’s strived to be. He keeps up appearances. Goes on missions. Does his job well. Loses sleep. Doesn’t eat. 

It’s only a matter of time. 

what was the worst thing in your character’s life?

The circumstances he grew up in, most likely. Not only were the conditions on the street utterly miserable, but Kamakiri grew up with not a single supportive or nurturing figure in his life. By the time anyone who could have mentored him came along, he was far too distrustful. Being disgusted and ashamed of himself, thinking himself pathetic for having to fight and cheat and steal every day to get food or a place to sleep--that’s bad enough, but it also enforced the belief in him that life requires him to be able to handle everything. All the time. Always. If you put your wellbeing in the hands of someone else it’s practically suicide. Vulnerable emotions are something to be quashed and repressed lest they lead you to your death. 

...He’s lonely. He’s never had anyone before. And the slow forming bond he has with his two squadmates is reluctant and terrifying for him, because evidently you can’t just decide not to care. 

what seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?

For all he’s tried to ingrain every detail of every mission into his mind for later use, it’s the downtime spent with newfound comrades that tend to stay in his mind. It’s not even particularly sentiment that keeps them there--be it a laborious debriefing or just a quiet, peaceful moment to himself in the woods, Kamakiri finds that even the most minute of details remains when he looks back on the memory.

Maybe it’s to remind him how far he’s come. 

for what would your character give their life?

As detailed above, Kamakiri is very much singleminded when it comes to serving a purpose or cause, but in this case it’s not only his duty as a ninja he’d willingly give up for, but...admittedly, Mitsubachi and Chouchou--they’re skilled ninja, both with unique and widely-applicable ninpou compared to his far more straightfoward offensive capabilities--he’d want them to live in his place. 

...He also just. Doesn’t want to see them die. 

what is your character afraid of?

As you can probably guess, failure, uselessness and vulnerability are all things he’s terrified of, but on the more literal side of things, Kamakiri is deeply uncomfortable around deep bodies of water. It isn’t that he can’t swim, but a close brush with drowning when he was young combined with the uneasiness of not knowing what lurks beneath makes him....very nervous. He’ll endure it if he has to, but he’s not exactly a fan of the ocean. 

#;ic #;headcanon #;mechanicosmia #tw: suicidal ideation / #whoosp yeah he's weird like that. #uhh these got shorter and shorter bc i think i really need a nap so im gonna go over these when i wake up to make sure there arent any typo #...hes a sad sad man i hurt over it a lot #mechanicosmia

[alqariyah]

I was tagged by @successaesthetics​ thank you!!

Game rules: answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (or however many you feel like lol)

LAST: 1. drink: ice lemon tea 2. phone call: my sister 3. text message: to my friend about how pissed i was about something 4. song you listened to: Down by Fifth Harmony (it was on the radio) 5. time you cried: uhh it was probably while reading a sad news article tbh

HAVE YOU: 6. dated someone twice: i get very confused with what people consider dating tbh but no, i think? 7. kissed someone and regretted it: lol i regret 80% of my life decisions 8. been cheated on: only by the government 9. lost someone special: haven’t we all :/ 10. been depressed: yeah 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i don’t drink so no :D

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. Black, green, teal.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yes!! some pretty good ones too <3 16. fallen out of love: idek tbh 17. laughed until you cried: honestly i’ve also just done this like, 4 days ago 18. found out someone was talking about you: OH BOY YEAH AND SHE WAS SPREADING LIES TO MAKE HERSELF LOOK GOOD 19. met someone who changed you: not entirely? 20. found out who your friends are: oh man, yeah 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: lmao yeah

GENERAL: 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know: i make sure i know everyone i add and sometimes i don’t even accept the requests of people i do know but am not close to 23. do you have any pets: I HAVE MANY CATS, half of them are missing but they’re still my cats y’know. atm i have 4: Lea, Gigi, Sagwa and Mot! 24. do you want to change your name: nah, i like my name as it is 25. what did you do for your last birthday: i had to do stats work on SPSS lol that wasn’t fun (and then the aforementioned person who talked bad about me took credit for it and said i didn’t do anything which is a blatant lie) 26. what time did you wake up: 10.30am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: probably reading fanfic 28. name something you can’t wait for: to go back for my final year of undergrad! and to go to Malta with my friend! 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like, 15 minutes ago? 20? 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: lol my anxiety bc it keeps me from doing so many things just bc of the possibility of failure or looking stupid 31. what are you listening to right now: surprisingly not playing any music even though i normally would be 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: do i know a Tom? I don’t know if i know a Tom... OH i have an admin worker in my school whose name is Tom so yes I have! 33. something that is getting on your nerves: when people use ‘triggered’ for literally anything like??? this makes it so much harder for people to talk about their actual triggers can you please all just stop????? 34. most visited websites: tunglr.hell aka this hellsite

LOST QUESTIONS: 35. mole/s: like,,, did i lose a mole? or do i have any? i do have moles. several tbh 36. mark/s: i’ve got a birthmark on the side of my knee! 37. childhood dream: i wanna go to space tbh 38. hair color: jet black. darkest shade there is.  39. long or short hair: just below shoulder length! i might get it cut again soon tbh 40. do you have a crush on someone: only celebrities that are too far away sigh 41. what do you like about yourself: uhh i’m stupid loyal when i get attached to people, and i guess i’m aware of my personal growth a lot? 42. piercings: not a single one since my ear piercings closed up (health thing so i can’t get piercings but i’m not mad) 43. blood type: A positive! 44. nickname: Shar 45. relationship status: single and loving it 46. zodiac: sagittarius! 47. pronouns: she/her 48. favorite tv show: SENSE8 AAAAAA 49. tattoos: i would but like, i’m afraid of commitment lmao 50. right or left hand: right-o! 51. surgery: not to my knowledge? 52. hair dyed in different color: yesssss i’ve done brown, green and ash grey! but only half my hair, not the entire thing 53. sport: i literally lose my breathe when climbing stairs, i don’t do sports. 54. where’s 54 (<–lol this threw me off at first but I’m leaving it) 55. vacation: i’m going to Sabah (Malaysia) soon! not looking forward to the plane ride bc i’m taken so many recently but we’re going water rafting!! 56. pair of trainers: got myself a pair of black adidas superstars and i need no other in life

MORE GENERAL: 57. eating: i last ate frozen yogurt (but like, with caramel syrup on top lol) 58. drinking: now i’m thirsty 59. I’m about to: take a nap i’m so sleepy 60. stop skipping numbers, dear author, it’s cheating  (,<– lol again) 61. waiting for: the world to get better 62. want: can someone just plan and sponsor my travels omg, also a first class for my degree would be nice as well as funds to continue my studies 63. get married: fine if i don’t tbh 64. career: psychologist

WHICH IS BETTER: 65. hugs or kisses: i don’t like either v much, though hugs are fine depending on who from 66. lips or eyes: eyes! 67. shorter or taller: i’m short enough as it is so gimme the tall 68. older or younger: older? 69. COME ON IT REALLY IS CHEATING. at this moment is what, 89 questions to answer you lying duck 70. nice arms or nice stomach: ARMS ARMS ARMS 71. sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. hook up or relationship: neither please, let me live in an apartment with cats 73. troublemaker or hesitant: uhh neither

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: nope 75. drank hard liquor: nope 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: nope god forbid 77. turned someone down: idk? 78. sex in the first date: lol nope 79. broken someone’s heart: probs? 80. had your heart broken: nope? 81. been arrested: nope 82. cried when someone died: oh man yeah 83. fallen for a friend: eh idk

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: not as often as i should 85. miracles: occasionally 86. love at first sight: not really 87. santa claus: nope 88. kiss on the first date: not for me 89. *coughs* 88 questions

OTHER: 90. current best friend name: Sam! we celebrated our 10th anniversary 3 years ago holy shit what 91. eye color: dark dark dark brown 92. favorite movie: uhh Pacific Rim? Mad Max: Fury Road? wow how do i choose

uhh i shall tag @stawbeestudy and like, anyone else who wants to do this tbh!

#text #thank you for the tag!! #okay if i don't talk to you guys much on @alqariyah then i likely talked to you on my main #which is also where i follow y'all from @captainvkirk #so yeah we are one and the same #we are an i technically