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bukojuiice · 3 years

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˗ˏˋ@bukojuiice’s BNHA masterlistˎˊ˗

REQUESTS: [CLOSED]

➸ Headcanons

♡ ྀ “midoriya, bakugo and todoroki cramming school works with their S/O”

♡ ྀ “baby it’s cold outside.” (katsuki bakugo christmas hcs)

♡ ྀ “going to Universal Studios Japan with them”

♡ ྀ “how you spend a virtual valentines date in quarantine w/ them”

♡ ྀ what happens when the bakusquad babysits Katsuki’s daughter?

♡ ྀ i like you a latte. (Coffee Shop AU! Headcanons)

♡ ྀ what they would be like as disney princes

♡ ྀ their wedding day with you

♡ ྀ the lovey-dovey things they do with you while you're both stuck at home during quarantine

♡ ྀ the kinds of movies he’d watch with you.

♡ ྀ when he does the lip bite

♡ ྀ when they read self-insert fanfiction of themselves

♡ ྀ cat ears or maid outfit?

♡ ྀ how dekusquad + bakusquad comfort you after getting your heartbroken

♡ ྀ mha boys accompanying you to buy lingerie

➸ Izuku Midoriya

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ I will hold on to everything we got. A quitter, regretter and forgiver is everything I’m not.

(↳ unprompted and unexpected goodbyes are the worst. how are you going to be able to tell izuku the fact that you were moving away from the city that the two of you have lived in, grew up in, and soon became the place where the two of you fell in love with each other? how could you let this precious cinnamon roll go?)

♡ ྀ she’s not afraid of scary movies, she likes the way we kiss in the dark.

( ↳ it is your weekly movie night with Izuku and co, but whilst waiting for your other friends, you and your boyfriend had the most wonderful idea of watching a gory horror movie.)

♡ ྀ as the world caves in

( ↳ no one else could ever carry the burden that Izuku holds in his hands. But when a girl from his past helps bring him to a realization, he begins to contemplate on whether or not sacrificing everything that you love to become a hero is worth it all.)

➸ Katsuki Bakugo

Cuddle Buddy! (Social Media AU)

Katsuki’s Convenience (Social Media AU)

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ thank god for plot twists like you.

( ↳ Katsuki barges in your dorm room after class to see you crying in your bed with your phone in your hand… but why exactly?)

♡ ྀ the s in studying stands for sexy times (implied smut!)

( ↳ katsuki is helping you study for your finals. but to no avail, none of the articles you were reviewing were processing inside your mind at all. until, katsuki had thought of a great idea to help you study. a spicy one at that.)

♡ ྀ you fell from the sky into my lap (smut)

( ↳ You and Katsuki become one as the two of you get in the mood with the music on his Spotify playlist.)

♡ ྀ my world is changed and it’s cradled by the comfort that is you.

( ↳ After receiving a quarterly report on the status of your hero internships and as a 3rd year student of UA Academy, your day is ruined as soon as you began to read it’s contents. Your explosive boyfriend does not want to see you like this. But how can he possibly cheer you up?)

♡ ྀ like the soul of honey

( ↳ Christmas finally approaches and your daughter, Hikari, can’t wait to spend it with the best parents ever.)

♡ ྀ you got questions, i got answers tonight, babe. (smut!)

( ↳ you and the bakusquad drag bakugo to a short vacation after such an intense week of hero work, much to his annoyance. however, his stress and pent up energy was more than you expected, so you knew exactly how to release all his frustrations.)

♡ ྀ fix you. (studio ghibli au! princess mononoke au!)

( ↳ Katsuki Bakugo is the righteous yet arrogant village prince of the east. The entire village relies on him for protection and for guidance, further inflating his ego. however, after a cursed boar attacks him and the curse is passed on to him as a poisonous mark on his arm, slowly consuming him until he becomes a demon himself. he is exiled without hesitance from his village and is to go on a journey to look for a cure, a journey he might never come back from. With the help of two of his most trusted allies, he embarks on a journey to look for the gods of the forest in where he meets a girl (just as striking as him) who brings him back down to earth, saves him and make him experience a true life worth living.)

♡ ྀ 25 lives (time traveler au!)

( ↳ After losing the love of his life in a brutal villain incident, Katsuki Bakugo had lost a part of him. Nothing and no one could ever bring her back. He became the shell of a person he once was; fiery, bright, and the driven #2 Pro-hero in the country. He continues to live life with guilt, all hope still lost until he is gifted a time device that can transport him to parallel universes, dimensions and alternate worlds, where he begins his quest to find his lost love. Crossing a hundred of realities and living twenty-five lifetimes just to bring her back into his arms. )

♡ ྀ to the most explosive boy i’ve ever loved before

( ↳ six letters. one for every boy you’ve ever loved. The letters for your eyes only, filled with all the words you could never say. until, one day, they start appearing out of nowhere into your life again, and your love life goes from imaginary to out of control.)

♡ ྀ lovesick girl

( ↳ your planned birthday surprise for katsuki takes a turn for the worst when you’re suddenly struck by a cold, prompting your dynamite boyfriend to take care of you and shower you with love and affection on his special day.)

♡ ྀ nicotine and faded dreams (smut!)

( ↳ Fame. Success. Glory. Bakugo’s had and seen it all, being a part of one of the biggest bands in the world. All he’s ever wanted was (Y/N), who comes back into his life just in time for the last leg of the band’s European tour. Bakugo thought that after making it big he wouldn’t have to face the muse for their most successful song any time soon. But a trip to Venice organized by scheming band mates has him stuck in a car with that very same muse. or Rock bands, a love Bakugo’s been trying to run away from and a cleverly schemed road trip: what could go wrong?)

♡ ྀ the morning afterglow

( ↳ basking in the hues of wonderment that is the morning sun with your explosive boyfriend by your side was truly a dream. lingering in the bed much longer was an absolute must. these are one of those days.)

➸ Todoroki Shoto

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ when you kiss me, heaven sighs.

( ↳ you and Shoto arrive in the city of love. the day seems perfect until things go awry.)

♡ ྀ a love like the movies

( ↳ Shoto spends his only day of rest and relaxation by watching iconic tv shows and sitcoms with you.)

♡ ྀ my youth is yours.

( ↳ shoto todoroki entered college with one thing in mind; be able to graduate and follow in his family’s footsteps. however, college had different plans for him. and meeting the one he would spend the rest of his life with was one of them.)

♡ ྀ merry go round of life (studio ghibli au, howl’s moving castle au)

( ↳ shoto todoroki is a magical prince who yearns for freedom. with the entire country against him, and the freedom he ever so wanted barely in his grasp- he seeks solace in a girl who works in a hat shop. she was his comfort in days full of disaster and war. and ever since then, he has finally found a reason to live.)

♡ ྀ something in the rain

( ↳ you and shoto were once childhood best friends and sweethearts who had lost touch and communication. 12 years has passed since then, and on a fated summer day in june, there was something in the rain that brought two lost souls back to each other’s arms.)

♡ ྀ are you feline what i’m feline? (smut!)

( ↳ blessed with a quirk that can temporarily transform any human being into any living thing they want through the means of potions and concoctions, you brew up a cat girl potion to surprise shoto for your second year anniversary. however, some accidents and mishaps happen, and you’re welcomed home by a handsome cat boy instead.

♡ ྀ if i could tell her

( ↳ in where shoto todoroki is hit by a sudden realization that the love of his life was right in front of him all along and all it takes is for her to cross the crossroads for him to finally realize.)

♡ ྀ written in the stars

( ↳ shoto takes you out on a special date. a date that entailed love in all it’s bare simplicity. love in all it’s highs and lows, and love that is worth being written in the stars.)

➸ Eijiro Kirishima

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.

( ↳ It is your 1st year anniversary with Kirishima. With no idea how celebrate it, Kirishima asks for the aid of Bakusquad and they have very interesting ideas and plans to say the least. Will he succeed and plan a perfect surprise for you?)

#juliannewrites #bakugo x reader #mha x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #kirishima x reader #deku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #denki kaminari x reader #kaminari x reader #todoroki shoto x y/n #boku no hero academia x rader #my hero academia x reader

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cowboy-eddie · 3 years

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Masterlist 19-01-2022

Hi everyone! This is your one stop shop for all of my 9-1-1 fics :) This includes links to AO3 and my Tumblr Exclusives; little ficlets that people don’t know about. Thanks for hanging around!

This is organised into three sections; my base 9-1-1 series What’s Your Emergency, my Buddie Bingo series for the card I’m working through, and then the Gift of Life series. I have also included my Buddie Bingo card just in case you would like to request something which will also be updated as I get through it! NEW: Eddie Diaz Whump Bingo!

Don’t forget, I also have my Tumblr Exclusives; Hen, Eddie and Get to Know You, Chaotic at the Best of Times, Buck, Eddie and the Bed Dilemma , and Humanised

“What’s Your Emergency?” Base 9-1-1 Series

Love on Eddie

“The 118 has picked up that Eddie is a little stressed, a little down and out, so they band together to get him back to his usual sassy self.”

“Maddie”

“When Buck wakes up to both Eddie and Christopher battling an awful stomach bug, it’s safe to say he’s a *lot* out of his depth. Christopher gets worse when his fever skyrockets, so Buck calls the one person he knows will keep him calm.”

El Paso

“Eddie makes a requested on the way back to LA after the Texas wildfires. That’s how he, Hen and Buck end up in his parents’ kitchen, I swear.”

Gimme an ‘E’ for Elevator Fic!

“Based on the way Buck strode into the hospital with purpose, and the way a certain *someone* egged me on to write this fic lmao”

Eddie but in italics

“Based on the following Tumblr prompt: For a prompt, how about Eddie is out doing errands on his day off(Chris w/Carla or Karen) and ends up getting caught in a situation aka a fire, a bombing/building collapse, a robbery, whatever strikes your mood and the 118 don’t know until after they show up on scene. You can hurt Eddie any way, be it minor or major but I just want a total “118 as family” type and we get tons of these situations with Buck. Eddie’s turn! 😁😉”

Mouse

“Bobby gets a little extra funding from the LAFD after the whole Eddie and him getting shot on duty thing. So, he decides to use it in a way that it gives back to the team in the best way. Or, this was meant to be a short fluff piece about the team getting a dog, then I watched 5x01″

Pep Talk

“After leaving Buck to cool down, Eddie goes to check on Chim. He's not angry but he's not calm either. Through opening up a little, Eddie gives him an idea of what not to do. Chim didn't realise how much of a parallel he was going through compared to Eddie and Shannon's experiences.”

Revelling in Domesticity

Buck and Eddie have different views on shopping. They buy a house, and for some reason this is relevant?

Buddie Bingo Series

Clingy

“Buck and Eddie, newly dating, have hit a hiccup; Buck finds he’s chasing Eddie around their bed all night to snuggle and it’s driving him crazy. All he wants is to keep Eddie warm and it’s just not happening because Eddie is one independent ass man.”

Hotel Sex

“Buck, Eddie, and the Madney wedding. They can’t keep their hands off each other and they’re not exactly quiet about it either.”

5+1

“5 times it was Eddie and the one time it was Eds.”

Bed Sharing

“Eddie hurt his back sleeping on the floor before they put two and two together.”

Vacation

“With the declaration from health officials that it’s finally safe to travel, and three vaccination certificates under their belts, Buck, Eddie and Christopher hit the road to El Paso. It’s about time they saw their family again.”

Bath/Shower

“Coming to immediately after the well incident, Eddie needs someone to watch him overnight and make sure he doesn't suffer from secondary drowning. Buck decides that not only is he going to take Eddie home, he's also going to get him through the bath because he needs to warm up before the hypothermia really sets in.”

Caught/Interrupted

“Buck and Eddie have been together for three weeks and are still in the honeymoon period of a new relationship- they can't keep their hands off each other. Albert came home a little earlier than expected.”

Wedding

One of Eddie’s army buddies is getting married, and Eddie is… a little more than invited. He’s also allowed to bring a plus one.

Making up after a fight

“Buck and Eddie have an argument. While Buck seeks solace in his sister, Eddie gets some sound advice from Carla.”

Huddling for Warmth

“Bobby has the bright idea to take the team on a camping trip to bond. Of course, Buck and Eddie bond a little more than expected. Also, Buck is really cold.”

Flirting

Buck and Eddie literally do not hold back at work with their flirty nature. Ravi had heard whispers between B and C shifts of the famed "Buddie" but he had no idea how OTT they were until he joined A Shift.

Gift of Life series

A Parting Gift

“With Shannon’s sudden, tragic, traumatic passing came another surprise no one saw coming. Luckily, Eddie’s newfound firefam are to the rescue. Mostly Buck. Thanks Buck.”

Sleepless Nights

“With multiple sleepless nights under his belt, two frustrated kids and Buck, it’s safe to say Eddie’s at his wit’s end. Luckily, Buck is not just a baby magnet; he’s also a baby whisperer and if he wasn’t so good with Eloise and Christopher, Eddie might just hate him a little.”

Love All of Him

“Taking time off of work to take Eloise to a routine doctor’s appointment takes an unexpected turn when Eddie finds his mother waiting for him at home.”

Explosions

“Buck gets the flu and Eddie has to work, but Christopher is around.”

I Still Love You

“Eloise turns one and all Eddie can think about is how much he misses Shannon.”

Discovery

“It was lunchtime when it happened.”

Aquaphobia

“When approached with the yearly swimming lessons at school, Christopher has quite the tantrum… then, Buck and Eddie connect the dots.”

Finding Closure

“Eddie opens the envelope. Or, Buck and Eddie talk about extending their family again but they realise there’s a step in between first. And I'm not talking about marriage (sadly)”

Eddie Diaz Whump Bingo series (courtesy of @lesbotaylor)

Street Fighting

“After their little discussion about Eddie’s extracurricular activities, Bobby decides it’s time to patch him up and make sure he knows it’s going to be okay.”

= (a Buddie series based on Ed Sheeran’s new album, = aka divide)

Tides

“Buck has fears about being on Eddie's will if anything were to happen to him.“

#Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley #Buck #9-1-1 #911 #911 on fox #911onfox #Buddie #Buddie Bingo 2021

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austennerdita2533 · 4 years

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I'm so happy that you love Folklore too! It's not just my favorite Taylor Swift album, but easily one of by favorite albums, full stop :) Here's a fun challenge: which Folklore songs remind you of a certain ship? So is there a Folklore song that makes you think of literati? Another one that makes you think of a Grey's ship? A third that makes you think of Elizabeth/Darcy? A fourth that reminds you of Klaroline and - I'll shut up, you get the idea :) Pick any Folklore songs/ships you want!

Taylor Swift’s latest album is a masterclass of musical poetry and storytelling. Rarely do I download every song a musician puts out on a new album (I tend to pick and choose), but I can genuinely say I never hit DOWNLOAD so fast in my life before than I did with Folklore! I love all sixteen tracks! I’ve been listening to them on a loop for two days straight and I imagine that’s likely to continue for the foreseeable future.

Also, YASSS! That is a fun challenge! It’s also one I can manage because I’ve been thinking about how certain songs/lyrics apply to many of my ships since I first started listening anyway. Prepare yourself. This is gonna be long. 😁

Okay SO, for Literati...

If I’m angling to lean into s3-s6 angst that was Rory and Jess at that point in the OG series, then I’d say the 1 is a good fit. That song has the same energy as someone who’s writing a goodbye letter to a loved one that will never be sent. It’s cleansing. Cathartic. An exorcism of feeling. It absolutely reeks of regret and longing with just a touch of look-back-over-your-shoulder-and-wish, just wish, that things could have been different:

“But we were something, don't you think so?”

“And if my wishes came true It would've been you“

“But it would've been fun If you would've been the one”

However, if I’m in more of a They’ll Come Back to Each Other mood with Literati then I think this is me trying screams Rory and Jess. That song emanates nostalgia! It’s haunting in tone (with the echoes, with some slight vibrato). The lyrics bleed with feeling, with emotion that should have rusted long ago but hasn’t. Love is still as red as it was at the beginning of everything only now...only now there’s realization and an attempt at atonement for past mistakes...

“I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway“

It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town (the town, of course, made me think of Stars Hollow)

I just wanted you to know That this is me trying At least I'm trying

For Darcy and Elizabeth, I think seven works well for them in spots. If you listen to the song, there’s a little bit of an echoey timber to the way Taylor sings it and that gave me the sense of how classic love stories/literature kind of ripple across time, you know? How the pages may crinkle or yellow over the years, but they still leave their mark. Plus, there’s also the piano in the background. Almost feather light. It mixes with what sounds like violins in places. Idk, it has a slight P&P 2005 vibe about it to me:

“Please picture me in the weeds Before I learned civility” >> (Because did Darcy learn civility before or after Lizzie eviscerated him mid-proposal at Rosings? Did Lizzie learn to temper her prejudice before or after Lydia ran away with Wickham?)

“Passed down like folk songs Our love lasts so long“ >> (Elizabeth says herself she’s going to be happier than Jane because “[she] laughs; [her sister] only smiles.”)

I have a couple for Klaroline, too. hoax jumped out at me for them first because it’s layered with darkness and angst. The imagery pops. It’s all smoking guns and eclipsed suns and screaming on cliffsides; which, for a pair of supernaturals, and for an Original who has a history of leaving blood in his wake, I think some visuals of misery and violence are a fitting thing. I’m also obsessed with the piano in this. The way she strokes her fingers over the keys - quick tap, tap, taps then a slow one or two in places - gives you a sense of running. It’s a great parallel to her lyric about “sleepless nights.” Here are some other Klaroline-heavy lyrics in this song:

“You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart But what you did was just as dark Darling, this was just as hard As when they pulled me apart” >> (This whole section just booms with “I’ve shown kindness. Forgiveness. Pity. For you, Caroline It was all for you” energy.)

“Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do“

peace is the other song that had me crying in Klaroline. I like the softness of it, the vulnerability. I imagine it more from Klaus’s perspective, though, because it strikes me as more confessional in nature. Like it’s a revelation that’s being dragged across his teeth and he wants to scream. Almost as if these aren’t necessarily feelings he wants to share, or wants known, but there’s just no holding them back now. He’s thrown off the lid. Caroline needs to be able to walk toward him with her eyes wide open, so he only speaks truth, he only speaks honesty now. Similar to hoax, this song has darker imagery as well. There’s fire and fences and trenches and all that jazz:

“Your integrity makes me seem small You paint dreamscapes on the wall“ >> (Same energy as “you’re strong, beautiful, full of light.”)

“And you know that I'd Swing with you for the fences Sit with you in the trenches” >> (basically a promise that he’d fight FOR her and WITH her)

“But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm If your cascade ocean wave blues come All these people think love's for show But I would die for you in secret“ >> (THIS IS THE PART THAT HITS ME THE MOST BC so much of Klaus’s love is shown not spoken, so yeah, he dies for her in secret all. the. time. already. There are 5 other ways I could interpret that as well. But I will spare you haha)

“The devil's in the details

“Would it be enough If I could never give you peace?” >>With supernatural enemies everywhere, there won’t be much peace, will there?

I get walloped with Braime/Jaime and Brienne feels every time I listen to epiphany. Like, it’s actually rude how much this song makes me think of them. I can close my eyes and hear their swords clanging, taste the blood of their injuries on my tongue; feel the ash claw their throats, sting their eyes. Just--ah! The two of them serving, fighting back-to-back, two knights with an unspoken oath to protect a love they haven’t even voiced out loud yet...*cries*

“Only twenty minutes to sleep But you dream of some epiphany Just one single glimpse of relief To make some sense of what you've seen

“With you, I serve With you, I fall down Down Watch you breathin' Watch you breathin' out Out“

invisible strings makes me think of Shirbert/Anne and Gilbert. I love the pluck of guitar strings and how it has this air of innocence and sunshine and green grasses about it even though it’s being told/sung from a hilltop of experience. There’s so much imagery in this song, so much color and figurative language, that I can’t help but think it’s perfect for our imaginative dreamy-eyed girl and the boy who’s adored her since he first tugged her pigtails and called her Carrots in that schoolroom:

“Green was the color of the grass Where I used to read at Centennial Park >> (Can’t you just picture Anne lying in the grass, a book in her hand, flowers in her hair?) I used to think I would meet somebody there Teal was the color of your shirt When you were sixteen at the yogurt shop“

“Time, curious time Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs Were there clues I didn't see?“

“Wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold Tied me to you“ >> (Love the warmth and vibrancy of this. The wool makes me think of Avonlea blanketed in snow; the gold has me drinking sunshine, smelling goldenrod in October)

“Time, wondrous time Gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies“

“And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Invisible string Tying you to me?“ (Love the idea of the string representing their friendship, how it never snipped. How it only braided together, growing tauter, closer, all the time.)

august hits me with a waterfall of Darvey/Donna and Harvey feels. There’s a wistfulness about this song that settles in my gut, twisting it with longing, with musings of all those Almosts in relationships that were so close to coming to fruition then never did. It’s so incredibly reminiscent of how Donna and Harvey toe the lie between friends and almost lovers who-are-nearly-there-but-not-quite for 12 years. IT HURTS SO GOOD.

“Back when we were still changin' for the better >> (THIS IS SO EMOTIONALLY RESONANT IT HURTS) Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Canceled plans just in case you'd call”

But I can see us lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine >> (Obviously I’m swimming in the angst of this until my fingers get all pruny.)

Finally there’s mirrorball which is Jisbon/Jane and Lisbon all the way! It’s funny because when I first listened to Folkore I thought that’d be one of the last songs I’d pair with a ship?? YET HERE I AM. Jane was in the carnival circuit growing up and I cannot, for the life of me, stop attaching him to all the descriptions of the circus/revelry. So much of his schtick throughout the show comes down to trickery and observation, which he uses to size people up, and sarcasm, which he often employs as a defense mechanism to keep people at an emotional distance. I like the theme of this song for him and Lisbon. As the mirrorball, he’s shining his true self only for her. She’s the only person who sees his “shattered edges”; she’s not distracted by all his “glistening.” Here are my favorite lyrics that are applicable to them:

“I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight

“I can change everything about me to fit in You are not like the regulars The masquerade revelers Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten” >> (Okay, so this makes me think Jane’s on camera confession to Erica Flynn: “I’m looking for someone who…uh, someone I can trust. Someone strong. Someone at peace with themselves. Someone better than me. Someone who knows the…worst side of me and still loves me.")

“And they called off the circus, burned the disco down When they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns I'm still on that tightrope I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me”

“I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me“

I will stop there because otherwise I could sit here analyzing songs and ships for the rest of my life, boring you to tears haha. Thanks for this, lovely! (And obviously I’d love to hear some of your song/ship matchups as well!) xx

#what-would-jane-austen-say #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree talks folklore and ships #i didn't do all 16 songs #but i covered a good number of them #from literati to darcy and elizabeth #from klaroline to jaime and brienne #from shirbert to darvey to jisbon #not bad for a day's worth of obsessive music analysis and listening i think!

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hordakin · 5 years

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On the Subject of Hordak, His Parallels with Catra, His Bond with Entrapta, and the Possibility of Him Getting a Redemption Arc

Obviously this is a subject of MUCH controversy within the Spop fandom, and I'm probably just going to stir up even more issues, but the aforementioned things are subjects i find INCREDIBLY fascinating and dammit I want to talk about it, because as usual (almost*) everyone else is glancing over it and not giving it all the in depth analysis it deserves.

Just a preface, my 'screenshots' are probably going to be absolutely hideous because I do not have the time nor the resources to get high quality ones--sooo I'm just taking pictures with my phone!

I'm no good at keeping my posts organized, so please forgive any other messiness as well--I'm hyperfixated and filled with frantic energy.

Lets start out simply with the Juiciest meat on the bone--Hordak's Could-Be Redemption Arc!

This is the topic that has the most people in a tizzy--for completely valid reasons, to be fair! Hordak, as of right now, is a horrible person. There's no skirting over it, there's no sugar coating it, he's a grade A piece of shit manipulative dictator, and things he's done are unforgivable.

What joy it is, then, that being forgiven has absolutely nothing to do with redemption!!!

Redemption is about changing your ways, and doing what you can to FIX or make up for the villainous things you've done--NOT being forgiven for them, which is what seems to be the hang up for a lot of people who are against the idea of a Hordak redemption arc, the people who don't like his sympathetic backstory.

I've seen more than a few posts of people Screaming in fury, proclaiming their anguish and disgust that the writers are trying to make them """forgive""" Hordak, when.... That's. Literally not what the writers are doing. They are just giving a character a backstory and human characteristics. So he'll be relatable. You know, like characters in media are SUPPOSED to be. Funny how that works, right?

Anyway, his frustrates me immensely, especially when these are the same people still pushing for a Catra redemption arc (to be fair, i am still one of those people too, but her choices in the last season have severely lowered my enthusiasm and hopes for it. There’s a long, tiring road ahead of her, as well as for us as an audience, if she is going to be redeemed at all). It frustrates me because of Hordak and Catra's lifestory parallels. These people act as if they are leagues different, when they really... Really aren't. If Catra still deserves redemption because she was abused into thinking the way she does, then so does Hordak, because he was obviously abused too.

The way I see it, Catra is like... A younger Hordak. Hordak right before and during Prime discovering his defects and sending him off to die. For a lot of season 1 and 2, she was in her prime in regards to her standing as a member of the Horde. She became force captain, and she did her work well, just as Hordak had once been Horde Prime's top general--but then they showed some kind of weakness, some kind of incompetence, and then they were cast away;

And it doesn't even stop there! Because right after being exiled, guess what they both do? They take over and begin to Rule the local denizens of the place they were exiled to--Hordak forms the Etherian Horde, and Catra takes one look at the Crimson Waste gangs and says "My City Now".

The main differences I see between Hordak and Catra are, Firstly, their friendships. The bonds they've formed (and broken) during the series (as well as if/how they changed them).

Hordak --

Total number of friends, past and present: 2 or 3 (Entrapta and Imp, 3 if you count Emily)

How much he values them: given his tract record of abandoning and belittling people, he doesn't belittle or mistreat Entrapta or Imp, in fact openly showing affection for/praising both of them rather openly--which is to say, he must value them a lot.

How he treats them: like i said up there--with open praise, affection, and respect. He takes care to never actually harm or yell at them in a way that targets them--when he yells or snaps, its not because hes mad at them, its because of something else. On top of that, he keeps it limited--he does not go on rants. He shouts his bit, takes a breath, then turns around and asks them to leave. Which is something i guarantee EVERY person on the face of the earth has done before. Ppl lose their tempers, it's normal, and does NOT make them abusive.

Catra --

Total number of friends, past and present: 6 or 8 (Adora, Lonnie, Kyle, Rogelio, Scorpia, Entrapta, and 8 if you count Kyle 2 and her four armed Lizard friend)

How much she values them: this is tough one. Clearly, her main priority is Adora--shes Catra's endgame Bestie, the person she really WANTS to be friends with the most. She puts effort into her relationship with Adora. Second comes Scorpia--Scorpia is very slowly weaseling her way into Catra's heart, and it shows, especially on this last season. Catra starts to show more vulnerability around her, and they have more emotionally charged interactions, that clearly have a positive impact on Catra. Catra is BEGGINING to put effort into her friendship with Scorpia, but it is a s l o w process. Everyone else.... Catra frankly couldn't give less of a shit about. They're an ontourage to her, not friends. But they see her as their friend. She doesn't put any effort there--everyone else does.

How she treats them: just like i said above again. She doesn't not care about most of her relationships. She fixates on one or two, and leaves the others in the dust until she has a use for them, because she doesn't see them as friends, she sees them as lackeys.

Secondly, another difference is their motivations and the choices they make because of them.

While they were both originally seeking recognition and praise from their superiors--Hordak trying to take over Etheria for Horde Prime to prove he's still useful despite his defects, and Catra...:

And then, after that, the Shadow Weaver issue comes to Catra’s attention, and Catra’s Motivation shifts COMPLETELY, because she hasn’t been given the time she needs to heal and let go of that portion of her baggage.

--I’m losing shitloads of eloquently worded paragraphs sharing my points over and over again so I’ve moved to desktop now because i am NOT giving up on sharing this, let me try again, sorry if it suddenly feels offtrack, i swear the connections are still there--

Now that their current motivations are in play, let’s talk about how their CHOICES (and their friendships) tell us which of them is more ripely suited to a redemption arc at this point in the series.

Hordak makes a friend. This is most likely the first friend he has EVER truly had, but they make it work, because they have similar interests and there is no sense of hierarchy between them--She is very clearly not afraid of him, and he is long past trying to make her afraid. She doesn’t push him to be better, no--She thinks he’s fine the way he is. She has no desire to ‘fix him’, because she doesn’t see anything wrong with him being a ‘bad guy’. However, I will say that (albeit unintentionally) she is... Gently nudging him towards being neutral. Hordak’s goal since day one has been to contact Horde Prime, because he likely had been brainwashed or indoctrinated to believe that there WAS no other option than to do so. Seek approval, and nothing else. “For the Horde” and nothing else. Because he hasn’t fully realized... That Horde Prime can’t touch him. He’s like... A young adult, who just moved out of his parents house--You know the posts! He’d become so accustomed to the lifestyle he had before, that now when he goes shopping and thinks “Hey I want ice cream for breakfast tomorrow!” he deflates and walks on to the veggies aisle because of the parental voice telling him “You can’t have ice cream for breakfast” in his head, but now... The parent isn’t there. He CAN have ice cream for breakfast, it just hasn’t hit him yet. Then, Entrapta shows up. “For science!” she says, and Hordak probably quirks his eyebrow, because she is odd, and thats an odd thing to say--but that, right there, is the little thing that starts to help him realize that, ‘hey.... Horde Prime isn’t here. I can do anything I want!’ And tat Anything can easily include turning around and becoming a better person.

Catra makes a new friend. Catra has had many friends before, at least one of which she cared about VERY deeply, who has since then left and moved on to other friends. She tried to get Catra to follow her to the better, healthier side of life that she’s found, to make friends with the other people too--but Catra refused, and it would not be a stretch to say it was because of jealousy/possessive feelings. Catra is like that toxic friend who lurks on the social media of someone who’s cut them off, simultaneous seething with anger and looking for reasons to hate them, while also vying for the chance to be friends with them again, and go back to the way things ‘used to be’. Now, she has that new friend, who cares about her just as much if not MORE than the last friend did--she sees how Catra wallows in self pity and negative emotions over the last friend, and how unhappy it’s really making her. Scorpia wants to help her move past that--to live her life free from the reigns of her past, and to embrace the happiness that other, new parts of life can give her. But Catra. Doesn’t. Listen. She doesn’t care. She sees the possibility of happiness, dips her toes into it (Crimson Waste party), but then decides “No, I don’t want this. I’d rather be spiteful. I’d rather be vengeful. I’d rather be unhappy, and I want everyone else to be unhappy too.”

People get so mad that Hordak is a trying to take over Etheria, trying to RULE over everyone on it--They call him ‘genocidal’ even though, by definition, he’s literally not--and demand that people admit how bad he is because of it, as if we weren’t already. Yet... The only people I see condemning Catra for doing something SIGNIFICANTLY WORSE for just as selfish a reason, is most notably NOT those people demanding we condemn Hordak left and right. The hypocrisy is extremely thick in this fandom right now--let’s leave it at that.

Point is; As of right now in canon, Catra is LITERALLY a worse person than Hordak, and when you really look at their actions, it’s easy to see that there are many more realistic and easy ways for Hordak to be redeemed than their are for Catra, and that’s the fuckin’ tea!

#hordak #catra #entrapdak #spop #shera princesses of power #spop spoilers #spop meta #hordakwrites

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kathyprior4200 · 4 years

Text

Haven Hotel: That’s Disengagement!

A princess with long black hair walked out from a balcony. She wore a black undershirt with a white bow tie on top. A dark teal shirt, long white pants and white high heel shoes completed the look. Her face was white and teal blushes were present on her cheeks. She was the inverted, antithesis of Charlie, the princess of Hell in a parallel world.

“For all my life, I’ve been taught that all angels have good inside them. But I know that to be a lie. Ever since Lucifer and Lilith, God’s closest angels betrayed Him… I don’t think I can believe in these flawed teachings anymore…”

The princess was Caroline Egnam, born and raised in Heaven…though she was not at all one would expect her to be in such a place. Self-entitled and pessimistic, nothing much could cheer her up except heavy metal music, rebelling against the rules and the occasional brawl.

“It’s inevitable that all those imperfect angels will go to Hell. They deserve to deal with suffering and challenges. Best of all, they wouldn’t be bound by social expectations. Heck, I wouldn’t be too surprised if it were me. I do enjoy my comfortable life here, just not these restrictions.”

Her servants Pub and Chub were fat white cherub angels with horns on their heads, black wings, and black eyes. One held an electric guitar while the other shot out torpedoes from a small cannon.

Outside was a white clock tower standing tall against the blue sky. The numbers read 0 then changed to 365 days. Writing above the numbers read “days until the next cleanse in Hell.”

Caroline leaned against the marble balcony and began to sing in a low growl.

(“I’m Always Evading Shadows”)

“At the end of the journey, there’s suffering

Denying it, how often I’ve tried

But my life’s a disgrace

Just a slap in the face

And the harsh truths have all been denied”

“A sliver of despair in this world of light

I know this world’s not free of sin

I search for the good

But get misunderstood

And reality will always win”

“Why have I always been so imperfect?

Lost in this brainwashed sea

I wonder if the world’s to blame

I wonder if it could be me”

“I’m always evading shadows

Trapped, drowning in the social flow

Free-will forbidden, my answers are hidden

Lying down below”

“Some people sugarcoat their speeches

I always blab out what I mean

I may be cruel but I am no fool

Things are never what they seem

Believe me”

“I’m always evading shadows

Waiting for people to awaken

In vain”

A nearby portal opened and out came the Exterminators, bloodstains over their wings and bodies and harpoons. They took off their creepy LED masks, their white angelic faces revealed. One by one, the citizens clapped and cheered. One of the Archangels with four black wings flew up to the front, his spiked halo glowing. He took off his mask, revealing a white face with yellow eyes and fiery red hair.

“Another successful purge,” their leader Samael praised. “You cleansed more sinners while still keeping the population in a good balance. Well done, all of you.” He cleared his throat and made a cross symbol over his heart. “For the greater good in the name of our Lord.”

The angels repeated the phrase.

“Until next year. Dismissed.” The Archangel soldiers saluted and then flew off separately to see their families.

All around Caroline, Holy City was basked in a heavenly glow. The city was located up in the sky among the clouds, but no one had to worry about falling, even the ones without their wings out. A large church with the appearance of the Notre Dame Cathedral stood proudly in the city square, made of polished marble. Choirs and songs floated through the stained glass windows as the regular angels went in and out to pray and visit with their neighbors. A large fountain sprouted non-alcoholic wine of a golden color. It had a white statue of Mary and Jesus as a young boy at the top, both with welcoming faces.

The streets were spotless and clean. Roofs and roads were powered by the sun’s rays. The Cloud 9 supermarket had endless amounts of food for sale…no one ever had to worry about going hungry. Charity workers and volunteers worked by the dozens, passing out food and bestowing miracles for those who needed them in the lower levels of Heaven.

This version of Heaven was very similar to the Heaven in the realm next door, the one above the familiar Hell with the Hazbin Hotel. Unlike those angels with their blonde hair and red blushes, these angels most often had black hair and teal blushes on their cheeks. Like in the other Heaven, some of the bipedal angels displayed animal-like characteristics: some had heads of doves, others had swan wings and mannerisms. Many of them had fur, ears, and fluffy tails of dogs and wolves. It was the only place where dogs and cats could dance and prance together without conflict. Still a few others had faces of flowers or even objects like harps and musical instruments.

God’s Palace was the grandest place of all: it was settled at the highest point of Heaven like Mount Olympus. Only a few angels were allowed to visit there. Seraph angels with six rainbow wings guarded the throne of God as well as the outside of the palace. There were rumors that in the palace gardens, the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge were grown there, heavily protected.

Lucius and Lilian were Caroline’s parents, those who took the place of Lucifer and Lilith after they were banished. They were named the new king and queen of heaven, thus Caroline became the princess.

Lucius had a white face, teal blushes on his cheeks and short dark hair. Lucius wore a gray suit with a dark blue bow tie and a black top hat with two white features attacked to the brim. Lilian’s hair was long and black, and she, too had the teal blushes and typical angel features. She wore a golden halo crown and an elegant white dress. Both had white wings which could turn black when they were angry or defensive.

Along the street, a red car stopped beside the sidewalk. A tall creature opened the car door and stepped out. The spider angel had a furry dark gray face and body, plus multiple slender arms: six in total. He wore tall boots, green gloves and a shirt with a white bow-tie near the top. His shirt and sleeves had black and dark green stripes. Green dots resembling eyes were located under his eyes.

“Thank you for the ride,” said the spider angel.

“No problem, Devil Grit,” said the driver Travis, a white furry guy wearing a top hat.

Devil walked over to a vending machine and bought himself a granola bar. He then gave it to a homeless guy leaning against the wall.

He walked inside a building and onto a stage in an auditorium. His opponent was already standing nervously at his spot, a microphone rising from the ground and stopping in front of him.

Pentious Senor was the nervous white snake. He had a white face with large slightly teal eyes with white pupils. He wore a white bow tie with a blue circle in the center below his thin neck. Surrounding his face on a flap of skin were bright teal eyes against dark purple. His suit was light gray with dark purple vertical stripes. Finally, he wore a large light gray top hat with a large green eye moving eye in the center.

The crowd settled into their seats and the debate began.

“Those other brave do gooders will do great with helping me with my presentation. Anyone want to try?”

A couple of hands shot up. Mechanical eggs on robotic legs moved around to help out the white snake lord.

Senor pushed a button and a presentation showed up on a screen titled “Heaven Economics and Invention Ideas.”

“I don’t like to fight,” Senor said, “and I’m super nervous up here…”

Devil Grit glared at his cowardly opponent who then yelped, “Don’t look at me like that!”

“Heaven doesn’t need any future technology,” Grit argued, “because we already have better things: friendships, food, and fun.”

Pentious Senor glanced down nervously at his note cards and read from them. “At this rate I will persuade the entire East end of Holy City by night’s beginning. And nothing, not a single beauty in this paradise of bliss, will be able to change my mind or escape the constrictive grasp of persuasive argumentation.”

“Heaven will be ours, though it’s mine in my mind. And everybody will know the name of…”

“Scared Snake,” said a female voice.

“W-who said that?” Senor asked.

“You ready for a debate, old man?”

The voice belonged to Berri Blossom, the opposite of Cherri Bomb in Hell. She was a tall cyclops with black skin, with a single green eye with a black cross in the center. She wore a long dark green dress and white high heeled shoes. Her black skin was decorated in some areas near her shoulders with tiny teal specks. Her long hair was curly, blue at the top and black near the bottom.

She walked over beside her academic partner Devil Grit. “Why don’t you play with your tinker toys somewhere else while I go over the logistics of divine law school?” She looked professional and poised.

“You want to go, madam?” Pentious Senor asked. He flicked his hood back. “Well, let the battle for tenure and status begin!”

A neon logo appeared on the screen, saying “Divine News” surrounded by a halo. The names of the news cast appeared on the bottom of the screen.

“Good afternoon, Holy City!” said a woman with short black hair, wearing a light blue dress. “I’m Catie Carejoy.”

“And I’m Ron Wrench,” said the man next to her, wearing a business suit and who had a wrench for a head.

After discussing the weather, various humane societies, and legends on Earth, Catie continued, “The debate battle is underway between inventor and conservative coward Pentious Senor and professional economics expert Berri Blossom. Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of His Majesty Lucius, who’s here to discuss her brand new passion-project! All that and more after the break!”

Inside the break room, Agatha adjusted Caroline’s white bow tie. Nearby, a blue tinted sign read “No smoking.” Another sign read “In The Air” in large letters.

“Okay, you remember what to say?” Agatha asked Caroline.

“Yes, I’m ready,” Caroline stated.

Agatha brushed her long black hair from her face. Like Vaggie in Hell, Agatha’s thick hair extended down to her legs, giving her hair the appearance of moth wings. She had a green cross over her right eye and her left eye was purple with a white pupil. A teal bow was perched on top of her head. Her skin was dark gray and she wore a dark gray crop top with white xs over her breasts. She also wore leggings, her right legging striped dark green and light gray, her left legging light gray.

“Oh this is gonna be great!” Agatha said happily. “How about you make your speech sound more exciting?”

“Come on, Agatha, I know what I’m going to say,” Caroline answered, crossing her arms.

Agatha walked over to the pitcher of ambrosia punch on the table. Pub and Chub ate bagels from the table. Agatha got an idea. “Oh! What if you…”

“Sing a song about it?” Caroline asked, with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not going to. This is serious!” She curled her hand into a fist and brought it down on the palm of her other hand. “They won’t take me serious if I start belting out some random song. Life isn’t a musical.”

“But neither is it an emo tragedy,” Agatha pointed out. “Life is great, especially with all the cute guys around.” Her single purple eye shinned.

“Romance, bleh,” Caroline made a face and Agatha giggled.

“Hey,” Agatha brightened, pulling out a piece of paper. “I have some ideas about what you could say.” She bounced up and down. “The highlighted bits are the best parts!”

“They’re all highlighted,” Caroline replied, scanning the paper. “You call your childish drawing your ideas for me?”

“Sure!” Agatha said. “Look here.” It showed a list of different terms “sinners = winners” “Misunderstood are still good” and “demons and angels party between worlds!” Skulls were lined up at the bottom of the page: “we’re all connected by death.”

“Say, that’s actually pretty good!” Caroline said with a smile of sharp teeth.

“Thanks!” Agatha beamed.

Caroline snatched the piece of paper from her friend and tore it in half, much to her shock. “But you should know my ideas are always better.” She tossed the pieces of paper aside, gave a salute and walked out the door.

Catie waved with a smile. “Hello, Caroline. I’m Catie Carejoy.” She held out her hand but Caroline didn’t take it. Catie continued, pulling her hand back. “So this project of yours, when did you come up with this idea of creating a hotel in order to…break the law as the rumors say?”

The angel crew murmured nervously.

“I’m gonna keep this short,” Caroline said. “You might think my idea doesn’t hold water, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’m too influential to give a flying feather about what some news lady thinks of my proposal.”

The crowd gasped. Ron shook his head.

“Well, if you can’t take constructive criticism and be polite…”

“…and we’re live!” called a voice as a buzzer sounded.

“And we’re back!” Catie said, rushing over into her seat. “So, Carrie…”

“It’s Princess Caroline Egnam,” said Caroline, sitting in a chair beside her and Ron Wrench.

“Sorry. So tell us about your project.”

Caroline took a deep breath. “As most of you know, I was born here in Heaven, and growing up, I’ve always tried to see the good in everything around me. But recently, I don’t believe that’s always the case. We just completed another Extermination. So many sinful souls lost but for what reason? God said in the Commandments “thou shall not kill,” yet killing random people is okay? If we can’t even trust ourselves with our actions and thoughts, is Heaven truly paradise? Not to mention that ever since Lucifer and Lilith betrayed Him, we don’t know who to really trust. Some people are given too many chances!” She pounded her fist on the desk, startling Catie.

Caroline stood up and made her way forward. “No one is truly flawless. Mistakes are made, but we get blamed for doing things we sometimes enjoy. Sex, drugs, partying, swearing, even violence. All because we don’t live up to standards imposed upon us, both here and on Earth! I can’t stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such lies and propaganda! So, I’ve been thinking…isn’t there a more liberating way to hinder forced compliance here in Heaven? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to express change through…recreation?”

The angels talked quietly amongst themselves. Aggy nodded in appreciation.

“Well I think yes,” Caroline continued. “So that’s what this project aims to achieve.” She walked back to the desk and sat down. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of its kind, a hotel that encourages moderate amounts of so-called sin!” She spread out her arms.

The audience stared in stunned silence. Many of the adults were shaking their heads.

“Who is that girl?” asked a dragon watching from inside a soup kitchen. “What’s her deal with trying to cause more trouble for this world?”

“She’s nuts!” added another angel with an eagle’s head and wings, wearing a suit.

Caroline added nervously, “I figure it would serve a purpose…a place to work toward self-expression. Yay.”

Among the crowd of angels watching the news outside, a tall man with a thin pale brownish face stood toward the back. He wore a light blue dress suit, had blue and white hair, fluffy deer-like ears, and large blue eyes. He watched the program with a look of worry. A deer creature made of light appeared beside him. A sign posted on the wall showing the same man as a DJ read: “Counseling and good times with the Techno Angel!”

A camera man shook his head at Caroline. Agatha walked up to him and said, “Please give her a chance.”

Caroline sighed. “Look, I know every single one of you has insecurities and issues that need not be bottled up. If you could just embrace those sides of yourselves…”

Caroline then smirked. “Maybe I’m not getting through to you.”

Agatha clapped her hands and “ooohed” in excitement as Rub and Chub got the electric guitar ready.

Caroline showed a pair of sharp white teeth and black horns emerged from her head. Black feathery wings sprouted from her back and an X appeared over her right eye. A harpoon appeared in her right hand and blue curved horns emerged from her wavy black hair. She posed over the desk and began.

(“Inside of Every Angel is a Monster”)

“I have a dream

I’m here to tell

About a fantastic mind-blowing hotel

One of a kind, go and yell

A great place to dwell

Catering to specific clientele”

*Guitar starts and scream vocals*

“Inside of every angel is a monster

Inside of every do-gooder is a sinner

Inside of every jolly go-lucky mentality

Is a subconscious portion that’s always dimmer”

“Resist all the rules

You’re not passive fools!

With just a little time

Down at the Hazbin Hotel!”

“So all you rescuers, priests, and heroes

Gifted athletes, jocks, and cheerios

And the sheep citizens, relief is here!

All of you angels, leaders, and stars

Traditionalists with fancy cars

And the activists on Mars

Show no fear

No taboos, no laws

Embrace your flaws

You’ll be truly free

Check in with me

It’s the right path, you’ll see”

“There’ll be no more pressure

And no more status quo

Just friendship, fun, and endless bags of dough

Establishment put to rest

You’ll be like, “Yes!”

Once you check in with me!

“So all your hierarchies, GMOs, politics, and isms

Lectures, labor standards, and diamond studded prisms

Ancient Indian elitisms

All must die”

“All you fantasizers, artists, servers, and lords

Spoiled children, winners of awards

Imposers of chores

Face your fear!”

“Be who you are

And you’ll go so far

Our service will raise the bar

You’ll be the star

Come from near or afar at the Hazbin Hotel!

Yeah!”

“Wow,” said an angel in a top hat. “That was…alright.”

The crowd clapped half-heartedly.

Catie shook her head. “What in the Nine Circles makes you think a single denizen of Heaven would give two feathers about becoming a bad person? You have no proof that your little experiment even works! You want people to disobey God and the rules just…because?!”

Caroline lifted up her head. “Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause.”

“And who might that be?” Catie asked.

“Oh just someone named…Devil Grit.”

“The grumpy old spider?” asked Ron Wrench.

“He’s not old,” argued Catie. “He just acts older than he is.”

“Anyway,” said Catie to Caroline. “You couldn’t even get that guy to do something bad, even if a gun was pointed at his head.”

“Oh I beg to differ,” Caroline argued. “He’s been troubled, dirty, and having conflicted thoughts for two weeks, now.”

“Breaking news!” called a voice as the screen changed to a recent debate shown in a building.

The news came on, detailing Devil Grit and his recent TED talk about the 7 Heavenly Virtues.

“Well, it looks like the one discussing the Heavenly Virtues is none other than…conservative Devil Grit! What a coincidence!”

She and Ron did a “ratings!” and jazz hands.

“Don’t look at this!” yelled Caroline, waving her arms from behind the screen.

“I’m sorry to say, but it looks like your plan’s departed on arrival,” said Catie. “I hope you learned a good lesson here.”

Caroline’s eyes twitched, her teeth barred. “Lesson?! I’ll teach you a lesson, bitch!” The princess and Catie fought fist and claw on the desk. Ron called for security.

After Caroline was kicked out, Agatha followed her wordlessly to the white limo. Devil Grit, Agatha, and Caroline rode back to the hotel.

Devil Grit lounged in the far seat, wearing an outfit of black with green stripes and green gloves on his four hands.

“Devil,” said Agatha with concern. “I know you were trying to do good by doing your professional speech. But could you please try not to help society in public? Now people won’t believe us when Caroline says that people are free to express their earthly desires.”

“I’m sorry Aggy,” said Devil from the other seat, “But I have a reputation to keep up. Helping the greater good is His plan for all of us. Besides, a good professional debate is a reasonable form of self-expression right?”

“Not to everyone,” said Agatha. “What about the hotel? People are thinking that you don’t care about Caroline’s project at all.”

“I do care, senorita,” said Devil. “I just don’t think it’s going to be easy to accomplish in such a short time. So many angels are fixated on tradition, myself included.”

“I do appreciate all of your help,” said Caroline, still fuming after the interview, arms crossed. “But I will make this project work, even if I have to do it myself.”

The white limo pulled up in front of the hotel, a pristine building made of glass and marble. The group got out of the car and stepped inside.

White wings made of rainbow scales posed as part of the structure on the roof. The stained glass windows by the door were decorated with apples, a tree of life, and many shades of blue and green. The sign above read “Hazbin Hotel” in big letters on the roof. Inside the lobby, a painting of Adam reaching toward God was displayed on the high ceiling. The hotel had seven floors with seven rooms on each floor. There was even a lab down in the basement which belonged to a frog man named Terry, the opposite of the demon fish scientist Baxter from Hell. A bowl of blue berries and blue raspberries sat on a table below a welcome banner. Aggy rested on a couch while Devil Grit munched on a granola bar.

“It’s probably a good idea to stock up some more food in this place,” said Devil Grit. “Good or bad, people always seem to be greedy when they’re hungry.”

Devil Grit pulled out a chart and went over probabilities and graphs regarding the hotel and the potential number of visitors. Caroline just sighed and walked away toward the door. She went outside and took out her cell phone, calling her mom.

“Carol cakes!” called her mother through the phone. Caroline cringed.

“Mom, I told you not to call me that! I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it,” said Lilian with a giggle. “How was the interview?”

“Meh. It was alright. I proposed my idea, but nobody seemed to buy it.”

Lilian’s tone turned more serious. “Caroline, why do you insist that everyone must go down to that horrible place? Why can’t you just see the good in people?”

“Because,” Caroline said, “Everyone has flaws and they don’t realize it.”

“Yes, but that also applies to you, too. Before you get involved with the lives of others, you need to look inside and critique yourself.”

“I’m a princess. Everyone else has more flaws than I do.”

Lilian let out a long sigh. “Young lady, we’ve been through this I don’t know how many times. You have to push your selfish thoughts aside and just accept the way things are. It’s part of a higher purpose.”

“And what is this “higher purpose” anyway? To be His flock of dazed sheep, dancing around without any care in the world? To not experience ecstasy and adventure, even for just a moment?”

“That stuff is dangerous and forbidden. Thousands of souls would do anything to get up to this highest level of Heaven. And you just want to throw your afterlife away?”

Caroline paused in thought. “If it means proving myself and serving Him in a way I see fit, then so be it.”

“You have delusions of what entertainment and happiness is, Carol. Sometimes, you need to take the time and appreciate the beauty that’s in front of you.”

“Other than my own refection, I don’t really see beauty in many other things. Well, metal and watching battles…oh and tragic poetry…”

“You have a lot to learn, dear daughter,” Lilian replied. “I’ll leave you alone to think about it.”

“Whatever.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

Caroline hung up and went back inside, shutting the door behind her. She leaned against the door frame, closing her eyes in frustration…trying to hold back a stream of tears.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Two knocks, followed by five fast ones. Caroline got up and turned around to answer it. She swung the stained glass door open. From outside stood a man with a pale face, wearing a light blue pinstriped dress coat. A white upward cross was part of the design on his blue undershirt. He was carrying a modern microphone atop a staff in his left hand. His small antlers were white and his hair and deer ears were blue with white tips. He wore glasses as well. Caroline narrowed her eyes.

“Hi, excuse me…” he spoke quietly. “Is this…”

“Fuck off!” Caroline spat, slamming the door in his face.

She opened it again.

“…the right address?” finished the man.

“No!” she shouted, slamming it again.

“Hey Aggy!” called Caroline.

“What?” her friend asked.

“The crybaby Deer Man is at the door!”

“What?!” she asked, blushes appearing on her cheeks.

“Who?” asked Devil Grit.

“What should I do?”

“Well…let him in!” Aggy said, eye shining.

Caroline rolled her eyes and scoffed. She sighed and opened the door again.

“May I talk now?” the man asked.

“Sure, whatever,” Caroline said.

The man held out his white gloved four-fingered hand and smiled. “Stalaro, it’s a pleasure to meet you, miss.” He walked in. Worry was etched on his face. “I saw your interview on the picture show and I was worried sick! I was afraid you were never coming back after your argument. I haven’t been that upset since the 1929 Stock Market Crash!” He sniffed, “So many orphans…”

“Hello there!” Aggy called with a smile, staring up at him and walking in front of him. “I’m so glad you’re here to help out my friend with this new hotel! I’m a big fan of yours and just being in your presence is just…” She swooned. “Oh just take me already you cute, pompous, talk show, blueberry pimp lord!”

Stalaro gave a nervous laugh, “Dear, I’m mostly into guys but I appreciate the sentiment.” He conjured up a strawberry in his hand and popped it into his mouth.

Aggy deflated a little.

“But if I wanted to take anyone away…they would be gone already.”

Stalaro tilted his head. His blue eyes briefly glowed with blue upside down radio dials in them. Electricity sparked around cyan colored voodoo symbols in the air. His eyes filled with tears, tears spilling down his pale brown cheeks.

Aggy watched in bliss, while Devil and Caroline rolled their eyes at the show-off.

Stalaro shook his head and his eyes returned to normal blue.

“No, I’m here because I want to relax and help out.”

“Say what?” Caroline asked, eyebrow raised.

Stalaro held up his staff which glowed blue. He said with a sad crack in his voice, “Goodbye, is this thing off?”

He tapped it. A blue sad looking eye appeared in the center of the microphone. It spoke in a mechanical voice. “You’re silent, quiet and unclear!”

“That’s your motivation motto every day?” Devil Grit asked, crossing his four arms. “Pathetic!”

“Tragic and mysterious, I love it!” Aggy squealed. “It’s like the opposite of announcing. It’s denouncing.”

“Um…you want to help?” Caroline asked.

Stalaro appeared behind them after morphing into light.

“With…” he spoke in her growl then his normal shy sounding voice, “…this random thing you’re trying to do. This hotel. I want to help you run it, if that’s okay.”

“Uh…why?”

Stalaro choked a bit on his words. “Why doesn’t anyone do anything? Sheer absolute lethargy! I’ve been partying around and keeping busy for decades. I would like to do something more relaxing and easier.”

Aggy wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Stalaro blushed uncomfortably. “Please don’t hurt me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it!”

He gently pulled her off him. “My work became overwhelming, lacking focus. I’ve come to crave a new form of disengagement!”

Caroline rolled her eyes. “Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as disengagement?”

“No,” Stalaro said. “It’s violent and messy, not really my thing. Life is truly strange…reality, fantasy, true tragedy. After all the world is a grave, and the grave is a world of disengagement!”

Caroline brightened a bit. “So, does this mean you think it’s possible to taint an angel?”

Stalaro sniffed and held up a hand. “Who knows? Anything’s possible. Sinning, oh the vice of humanity! I think there’s plenty left that can change such do -gooders. But then again, the chance that was given to them was the life they lived before. The reward is this!” He spread out his arms. “According to God, there’s no undoing what is done…or at least that’s the way it should be.”

“So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t fully believe in my cause?” Caroline asked.

Stalaro turned around to look at her. “Consider it an investment in ongoing knowledge for myself and others.” He let out a small smile. “I want to watch the blessed of this world struggle to give into temptation, only to repeatedly realize and raise themselves toward the golden ladder of success!” His eyes glowed blue.

“Right…” Caroline began.

“Yes indeed,” Stalaro said, both of them walking off to the side. “I see you taking risks and who better to keep you grounded than I.”

“Ah, so what’s the deal with Mr. Frown over there?” Devil Grit asked.

“Wait, you’ve never heard of him before?” Aggy asked, blushing. “You’ve been here longer than me!”

Devil shrugged his shoulders.

“The Techno Angel, one of the most complex beings Heaven as ever seen?”

“Eh, not big on certain politics and the arts.”

Aggy sighed and leaned in close to explain.

“Decades ago, Stalaro manifested in Heaven, seemingly in one day. He began to catch the attention of overlords who had kept to themselves for centuries. That kind of attraction and magic power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his adventures all throughout heaven just so everyone could experience some joy, tragedy and emotions. Do gooders starting calling him the Techno Angel, (as unoriginal as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world’s most ancient and constructive heroes. But one thing’s for sure: he’s an unpredictable source of silliness, a depressed spirit of mystery and a loving being of order…or disorder, the likes of which we can get involved in, especially if we want to end up aroused!”

“You done?” Devil asked. “He looks like a blueberry businessman. Or a shady con-man.”

“Well, I trust him completely!”

“Do you blindly trust any man? All men?”

Aggy skipped over to Caroline. Stalaro examined a family portrait of Lucius, Lilian and a young Caroline in the center. Young Caroline wore a white dress with a turquoise top to it. Her hair was jet black, braided in black barbed wire, her cheeks had teal blushes. Her mother had long black hair and wore a fancy white dress and a round gold crown. Her father was dressed in a dress suit of white and blue, with blue and black stripes in the center below a white bow tie. He wore a large light gray top hat with a dove and a green apple on it. His cane also had a green apple on the top. Both of them were smiling, showing rows of sharp teeth, white wings folded behind them.

“Caroline, listen to me, you can believe this dreamer. He isn’t just a sad face. He’s a miracle maker, pure good! But… don’t count on him to believe in your cause. He could be tainted and rebel, but we don’t know that. He could very well side with God and your parents. And he’s most likely looking for a way to hinder everything we’re trying to do if it means following God’s rules. But still, give him a chance. He’s really sweet.”

“I…” Caroline began. “…we don’t know that. Look, he’s a crying bitch, and he probably doesn’t want to change.”

Aggy put her hands on her friend’s shoulders.

“The whole point of your hotel is to give people a chance! To have faith things will be better and people can embrace their flaws! How can you turn someone away? You can’t. It goes against everything you’re trying to do. Everything you believe in.”

Caroline looked downcast. Her friend had a good point. She hated when people made good arguments against her. But it also gave her a chance to consider her thoughts. Aggy kept her grounded and added some cheer to her overall fake afterlife. Caroline smiled at her.

“You take care of yourself,” she said to Aggy.

“Caroline,” warned Aggy, “Unless you are serious about responsibility, do not make a promise with him!”

Demons often made deals with each other that often resulted in gaining power at the cost of one’s soul or freedom. Usually the one who initiated the deal would gain advantage. A demonic deal was bad in and of itself. Breaking an angelic promise could result in rejection, eternal torture and damnation.

“Don’t worry,” said Caroline. “I learned one thing from my dad.” She mimicked his low voice, “Ya don’t break trust with other angels!”

Caroline marched over to the Techno Angel.

“Ok…so Stal... You’re prissy as fuck, and you clearly see what I’m trying to do here is a too-dangerous risk. But I don’t.”

Glowing blue symbols briefly appeared around a concerned Stalaro, then vanished.

Caroline continued. “I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be flawed. After all, it’s in their nature and the sooner they realize it, the better. So, I’m taking your offer to help. On the condition there be no lessons or lovey-dovey speeches made.”

Stalaro twirled his cane and held out his smallest finger from his right hand.

“So, it’s a promise, then?”

The room was surrounded by a pink aura as light spirits roamed around the walls. The wind blew against Aggy’s and Devil’s faces.

“Nope!” Caroline yelled, holding out her hands. The energy stopped. “No shaking, no promises! I…hmmm…”

She paused in thought.

“As Princess of Heaven and heir to the throne, I hereby order that you help out with this hotel for as long as you desire.”

A moment of pause…

“Sound fair?”

“Fair enough,” Stalaro said with a slump of his shoulders and walked on. His cane vanished. Caroline did a thumbs up.

Stalaro stopped and spotted Aggy to the side.

Aggy went up and tickled him under the chin, much to his dislike.

He pushed her arm gently away. “Frown, my dear. You’d be too fully dressed if you were a man.”

He walked on, Aggy perplexed at being rejected. “Why does he have to be gay?” she mused, sadly. “Liking nude men…oh I could just swear right now…darn.”

“So…where is your hotel staff?” Stalaro asked Caroline.

“Uh well,” Caroline began. Stalaro peered at Aggy through his monocle below his left eye.

He stuttered. “You’re going to n-need more than that.”

Stalaro walked over to Devil Grit, who was sitting on a stool.

“And what can I do, my business fellow?” asked Stalaro walking over to the dark furred spider, blushing.

“You can suck a dick,” Devil retorted in a grumpy tone.

“AH! Ok,” said Stalaro, blushing and stepping back. “Can it be yours?”

“Fuck off,” Devil added, pulling out a long knife from his belt.

Stalaro summoned his cane. “Well this just won’t do. You want others to cause trouble, yes? I suppose I can cash in a few favors to deaden things up!”

He snapped his fingers and the wall beside the fireplace cracked. The circle went dark, the fire going out. Ice cold water appeared to fill in the circle and a shadowy figure solely formed inside. Stalaro walked over and removed the dripping figure from the water. A large single purple eye was revealed.

Devil, Aggy and Caroline peered at the creature. With a balloon deflating sound and a puff of white smoke, the figure was revealed.

“This little sinner is Klutzy!” Stalaro announced with a worried smile, dropping the figure.

A black-skinned short cyclops female landed on her face on the floor. She stood up with a grumpy look on her face. She wore a dark green skirt with a white stray cat off to the left side. Her arms and legs were white and stick-shaped. Several blue dots stood out from the lighter green color of her skirt. Her shirt was black with cyan paint spots off to the right. Her large eye took up much of her face; it was purple with a white pupil. Her sharp teeth were black. Her short hair was teal with a dark blue spot off to the left.

“I’m Klutzy,” she grumbled, clenching her fists. “It’s a waste of time to meet you fools. It’s been a while since I made new rivals.”

Her pupil narrowed from side to side.

“Why are you all men?” she asked. “Have any women here? Or video games? Screw this place.”

She briefly picked up Caroline, then let go.

“Oh man, this place is boring!” she exclaimed. She ran over to a vase and proceeded to knock it over with her elbow. It shattered to pieces on the floor. She tossed couch cushions aside.

“It really needs a more manly touch, disorganized clutter’s more fun.” She grinned as she poured dirt from a flower pot onto the rug.

“Yes, yes, yep, yeah!” she yelled as she proceeded to break windows and knock down more stuff. Then she plopped down on a couch once the room was messy. “I’m bored. Make me some food or something.”

Aggy, Devil, and Caroline looked on in worry, Stalaro just stared off into space.

A cat angel was working on a Rubik’s cube with colleagues. His furry face was black, framed by white fur. His little top hat was white with a blue band across it. A big teal bow tie was under his neck, over his black furry chest framed by white fur. His wings were a brilliant blue, with black and red mathematical symbols on either side: the pi symbol, E = mc squared, signs for addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, among others. More symbols were visible within his two pointed ears. His teeth were sharp and purple and his long eyebrows were teal. His eyes were purple and sclera white. The angel placed a Rubik’s cube in front of him. “Ha!” he declared in triumph. Read ‘em and weep, boys! Full…whoa…”

He felt himself being transported in a flash of light to the hotel. Part of the science room that the cat had been in was merged with the hotel lobby…posters of the elements, the solar system and Biblical works of art.

“What in Heaven’s name is going on?

Then he brightened when he saw Stalaro. “You!”

“Ah, Core, my old friend,” Stalaro sniffed, his head briefly looking like it was in between antlers from a stuffed deer head on the wall. “You made it.”

“Glad to see you, you son of the sun!” Core said. “I just completed my Rubik’s cube after just an hour.”

The cube vanished as Stalaro looked on.

Core raced over to Stalaro and embraced him in a side hug. The deer-like man blushed. “So, what can I help you with this time?”

Stalaro blinked nervously. “C-Can we snuggle?”

Core laughed. “I mean, seriously, why’d you bring me here?”

“My friend, I’m doing some dirty work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services. If that’s okay?”

“You must be joking,” Core said, laughing nervously.

“I don’t think so, motherfucker!” Stalaro replied.

“You thought it’d be a great idea just to pull me out of nowhere? You think I’m some kind of tragic boy?”

“Maybe,” Stalaro sighed, as crying sounds came from his microphone.

“I ain’t doing no dirty work.”

Stalaro appeared behind him. “Well I figured you would be the perfect face to greet and critique the guests at this fine establishment.”

He pointed his staff off toward a stand with vegetable drinks as claps and boos sounded from his staff.

“With your grumpy cat face and love of solitude…”

Core lifted up the corners of Stalaro’s mouth with his paws. “Aw come on, Stal. Don’t forget to smile once in a while!”

His mouth frowned once he let go.

Stalaro walked over to the stand. “Don’t worry, my friend. I can make this more interesting…if you wish.”

He conjured up a bottle of catnip with his finger.

Core stared with wide happy eyes. “What, you think you can buy me with sad eyes and some cheap catnip? Well, you can!” He purred and took the bottle with him.

Caroline, Devil, and Aggy arrived.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Aggy squealed. “Brilliant idea to have healthy drinks!”

“No!” Caroline protested. “This is supposed to be a place that encourages sin! No some kind of, frilly, Zen, child’s play…”

Devil rammed into Caroline. “Shut up! Shut up! We are keeping this!” He pointed all his fingers toward Core and the stand.

Core noticed Devil Grit and slid up to him. “Hey cutie,” he flirted.

“Go screw yourself,” muttered Devil Grit.

“Only if you watch me,” Core joked. “Or more likely, Stalaro will watch you.”

Caroline leaned in close to Core. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. You are going to go insane here!” She grinned, her teeth sharp.

“I lost the ability to go crazy years ago,” Core replied, sniffing the catnip.

Stalaro walked in, an ever-present frown on his face. “S-so, what do you think?”

Caroline ran over to him. “This is horrible!” she spat.

“It’s amazing!” Aggy beamed.

Aggy leaned in close between Caroline and Stalaro, embracing them in a hug.

“This is going to be very disengaging,” Stalaro exclaimed. Dubstep sounds emitted from his mouth as he stared around with worry. He stepped away from Aggy. “Caroline, I can’t lose you. We can’t lose you.”

Stalaro changed his light blue suit into a black funeral outfit. He did the same with Caroline, Devil, Husk, Klutzy, and Aggy, who were all wearing black clothing from the early 1900s. The room changed, the walls now covered with Voodoo symbols, Christian crosses and deer antlers.

“Take it boys,” Stalaro said. Light spirits appeared and played violins, a piano, and a flute in a sad symphony.

Stalaro sang his reprise to Caroline.

(“Stalaro’s lament Reprise”)

“You’re on a mission

Your innocence fell

And it’s so dangerous but hey, I wish you well

Yes your blunt protests

Will send you straight to Hell

And I can’t bear to see you banished, or your soul up to sell”

“Don’t bring your afterlife to an end

No matter what you say, I’m still your friend

We all have our wounds to mend

And you’re vulnerable feelings are real, don’t pretend”

“Inside of every angel is love and emotion

They have values and lasting devotion (devotion to God)

While you recruit those around

Don’t be swallowed by the ground

The authorities can retrieve you tight and bound (no turning around)”

“Here above the sky

Spread your wings and fly

They’ll spend a little time

Down at this Haven Ho…”

An explosion rattled the windows. Klutzy saw a door flying toward her face and she broke it in half with a karate chop.

The room and everyone’s clothing returned to normal.

Everyone looked outside and saw a podium in the air, held up by flying metallic eggs. A familiar snake debater appeared.

“Look who it is harboring the striped annoying opponent! We meet again, Stalaro!”

“Do I know you?” Stalaro asked.

Tears came to Senor’s eyes. “Oh yes, you do! Watch this presentation!”

The eggs danced in the air, singing a song about Senor trying his best to rule Heaven. He read from notecards. “You all can’t compete with me. Your hotel sucks. I…shall…destroy it…with… my…”

Stalaro giggled and blushed.

Senor looked up from his cards in anger. “Not like that, pervert!”

Stalaro snapped his fingers. A portal appeared and white tentacles shot out, knocking the podium off balance. The metal eggs knocked into Pentious Senor and he yelled, “Ow that hurt! Show mercy!”

Stalaro used a drop of his blood and the podium exploded in green smoke.

Senor emerged from the crater, arm shaking, fangs shattered.

“Shoot me with your ray gun,” said a metal egg beside him. Senor face-planted on the ground.

Stalaro looked on, sadly while everyone else stared, stunned.

“Anyone hungry?” Stalaro asked turning around. “Please don’t make me cook jambalaya. It’s way too spicy and it nearly killed me! I much prefer tea and sugared strawberries, oh the way they melt in my mouth… but anyway, you could say the kick brought me straight into Heaven.”

Stalaro lead the way back to the hotel, the group following him.

“Yes sir, new changes are about to take place. Now…”

Stalaro waved his finger at the lit up sign above the glass, gem-encrusted building on the roof.

The sign changed from “Hazbin Hotel” to “Haven Hotel.”

“Stay tuned.” He finished with low whimpers.

#haven hotel #hazbin hotel #heavenuva boss #helliva boss #2p #2p characters #alternate universe

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deathghost8 · 4 years

Quote

This morning, I was giving you a talk on the fundamental basic attitudes expressed in Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching. The title of the book Tao, Te, Ching, introduces now the second word in the title. I’ve been dwelling this morning on the first word which is Tao. And so comes up the second word. And this word, again is, faces us with some serious problems of translation. Ordinarily translated virtue. Ordinarily translated virtue, but virtue as we understand it today isn’t at all appropriate. The nearest kind of… When we speak of the healing virtues of a plant that’s nearer to the meaning of this word death. The Japanese pronounce it toku, the Cantonese duk and the Northern mandarins approximately ‘duh’. And in the section of the Lao Tzu where this is really introduced, the text says something like this. The superior virtue, not virtue, that’s it has virtue. Inferior virtue can’t let go of virtue, thus not virtue. And we more or less paraphrase that by translating superior virtue is not conscious of itself as a virtue and therefore it is virtue but inferior virtue is so hooked up with being virtuous, or hooked on being virtuous, that it’s not virtue. Now then therefore, this word is a connection of virtue and magic. It means the Superior, the excellence of things, in the sense that. A tree excels at being a tree. And nobody really knows how it does it. There is no way of imitating a tree except, the only way is to be one. And so in the same way when a human being shows extraordinary skill something, it seems that it comes natural to him. It seems that he doesn’t achieve it, by any kind of artificiality. If there is some discipline in it, it’s concealed. So excelling in something naturally, and yet it’s something that is so difficult to understand that it seems that it has been done by magic, is the meaning of this word. So what Te is is, the state of affairs, a way of talking about, particularly a human being, who has learned to live in harmony with the Tao. Now of course, everything is fundamentally in harmony with the Tao. In the book called The Journey on, or the unwobbling pivot, it is said the dollar is that from which nothing can depart. That from which things can depart is not the Tao. Fundamentally you see, you can’t get away from it it’s like a situation in which we are all floating. In a tremendous river. And the river carries you along, anyhow. Now some of the people in the river of swimming against it, but they’re still being carried along. Others have learned that the art of the of the thing, is to swim with it. And they are carried along too, but they know it, you see they know they are carried along, whereas the people who are swimming against it think they’re going in the opposite direction. But they’re not really. So that was a sort of discussion we were having this morning when I find invariably whenever I talk about these things, Americans raise moral issues. Because we are a people incredibly bamboozled by preachers. And so this always comes up. Bamboozled, preachers Yes. And have chronic guilty consciences, and so those questions are always raised. For this you see explains, part of the situation that you you have to flow with the river. There is no other way. But that you can swim against it and pretend not to be flowing with it, but you still are. So, but a person who is not making that pretense anymore, who knows that you have to go with the river and swim with it, suddenly he acquires behind everything that he does the power of the river. The person swimming against the river you see, does not by his action express the force of the river the person swimming with it he goes along and he has that whole river behind him but he subtly directing it because you can change direction in the course of the river you can go to the left or to the right as a ship can use a rudder and still go along with the current, or more skillful still, as a sail boat can tack, because when a sailboat tacks and goes in a direction contrary to the wind. It still is using the wind to blow it along and that is the most highly skillful art of all that is Taoism in perfection. The art of sailing. Very intelligent. — - the Tao Te Ching is a book written, for several purposes. You may take it as a guide to mystical understanding of the universe you may take it as a dissertation on the principles of nature, almost a naturalistic, a handbook of natural law, we would say. Or you may also take it as a political book. A book of wisdom for governors. And, the principle which it advocates, basically, is the virtue of governing by not ruling. Look at it in this way. Supposing the president of the United States were as unknown to you by name as the local sanitary inspector. The man who looks after the drains and the sewage disposal and all that kind of thing. This is not a glamorous figure, you see, but for that very reason, he probably does his job more efficiently than the president, because the president wastes enormous amount of time in interviewing various groups from the Elks and the Girl Scouts, conferring honors and all this kind of thing. The poor man’s life must be an utter torment because he’s so well known and therefore has absolutely no time to give to the government of the country. I mean think of his mail. And all the people who have to be employed sifting that out, and assessing it, so that if he were someone quite anonymous, and that we didn’t have to think about, he would be a very very good ruler. In just the same way, for example, you don’t have to attend, unless you’re sick, to the government of your own body. It happens automatically This is this expression ziran, of itself, and it goes on day after day after day and the better it is the less you have to think about it.— -So on the deepest level, a person as a whole, can get in the way of his own existence. By becoming too aware of himself. And then he lacks this quality, Te. Now, the Taoists then propose that there be something to help people get back to Tao, and be able to be in the state of Te. So that they wouldn’t get in their own way. And, this is connected with the idea of being empty. The emptiness being somehow vacant, was the secret of the thing. The highest kind of knowledge is not know-how, but no-how, and no hyphen H.-O. W. to be able to do it no how. Without any method. — -And this is the great human predicament the development of self-consciousness the development of the possibility of reflecting upon one’s own knowledge. And this is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. And Taoism does not escape this problem, I mean it doesn’t, it doesn’t avoid this problem, it deals with it. But it doesn’t deal with it obviously. So we get back to this fundamental verse about the nature of Te. What is highly virtuous is a virtue that is not conscious of itself as virtue. The moment it’s conscious of itself as such you see it it fails. So in this way, we love to see a child dancing all by itself. Lost in the dance and not performing for an audience, and we say oh oh if only I could dance like that. If only I could become like a child again: innocent. But then soon, when I went parents notice how beautifully a child dances and they all approve of it and say to this child, ‘Dance for us,’ the child begins to lose this power. And it puts on as it knows its notice. And we don’t like that and say that’s affectation that showing off that’s phony. What we want you to do is to dance as if you had no audience. Not even yourself. Which of course puts the child in a double bind, because it says to the child we require you to do something that will be acceptable only if you do it as if it wasn’t required. We do that all the time to our children and to each other. You must love me. After all, you promised to do so when we got married to you and so on. So, this is the difficulty. But somehow, a very great artist in the maturity of his life somehow is able. At least to give the impression. That he does what he does without playing to the gallery. Without self-consciousness. It seems perfectly natural. So how does he get there? There was a Taoist sage later that Lao Tzu. His name was Lieh Tzu We Romanize that as LIEH. Lieh. And he had a reputation for being able to ride on the wind. So light. And says in one place it’s easy enough to stand still the difficulty is to walk without touching the ground. Because in the state of being in accord with the Tao, there is a certain feeling of weightlessness, parallel to the weightlessness that people feel when they get into outer space, or when they go deep into the ocean. This is of course connected with the sensation that you’re not carrying your body around. I described this morning the sensation that an expert driver has, when he really is with it on a car. That the hill lifts him up and drops him down the other side. That he and the road are all one process. And that’s equivalent to the sense of weightlessness. And so this is connected, this is inner meaning of riding on the wind when Suzuki was asked what is it like to have Satori he said it’s just like ordinary everyday experience except about two inches off the ground. And so we say in our own songs, ‘Walking on air and never a care, something is making me sing Tralalala, like a little bird in spring.

Alan Watts - piece title - Swimming headless, Part 1 Excerpt for zen show volume 1. The flower gameplay features riding on the wind as a core game mechanic, and it is a vital work that narrates this message.

#flower #zen #alan watts #zen show #transcript #Tao #satori

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virtual-crisis · 4 years

Text

⭐Alpha Centauri⭐, Part Thirteen

School spirit, right? Thought I’d post a new part for the new semester.

....Yeah, that’s totally why it took this long.

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Naturally, we stuck around in Scape’s office for a while so my bleeding could stop and dry up. I feigned nodding off, closing my eyes and lolling my head down to the side while Ty and Scape were chatting with eachother so they would passively drop me from the conversation, unaware I was still listening.

“So your twin…. Which one is he?”

Chai scoffed. “Calls himself Ezekiel. He’s embarrassed by his real name, ‘Zippy’, ‘cause it makes him sound like a little kid.”

“Are you sure he’s embarrassed by it?”

“Why else would he take a biblical name as a human?”

“It has phonetic parallels, like yours and Alyssa’s. After all, Chialer means to cry…”

“It refers to blubber. Like on a whale.” Chai snapped.

“Blubbering is a synonym for crying, Tyler.”

“And fucking what?!”

There was silence for a minute. It was really eerie—unlike most of Earth, this office was so perfectly soundproofed that, lacking the sound of one’s breathing, it was completely silent. I shivered.

“...You know, radiant atronachs are virtually nonexistent.”

“Thanks a lot to my mom and dad.”

“Cér—” Scape cleared his throat. “...Carrie and Marcus, yes?”

“Yeah, them. Stupid fucking curse they got on all of us because one of them made a swear on the name of Leviathan that they were fuckin’ lying about.”

Scape hummed. “Non, Leviathan n'apprécie pas qu'on se moque de lui..”

My eyes opened at that. “Leviathan what?”

Both did a double-take at me. “Uh…. He doesn’t like being made fun of?” Chai said as if I should’ve known.

Scape waved a hand at her, shaking his head. “Désolé, désolé, I slipped into my native language.”

Now Chai was staring in confusion at Scape right along with me. “...You what? You’ve been talking French this whole time, though?”

I blinked in confusion, looking down at myself. “Uh… Eu pensei que vocês estavam falando em português...?” I murmured, suddenly feeling oddly self-conscious.

Scape looked between us, then chuckled. “Ah, adorable when young demons find out…. Here in Boston, everyone hears us in English,” he said. “It’s a response from Lucifer regarding the Babel incident: while language has and will divide mortal-kind for eternity, demons of Hell will remain able to understand eachother, and mortals them.”

I looked over at Chai, who was now staring at me. “....You’re French?” I said.

“You’re Portu… Portugess…?”

“Brazilian,” I corrected. “...And it’s Portuguese…”

Scape chuckled again. “Here I thought you two were better acquainted than that.”

Chai flushed a bright green—y’know, uranium under the suit and all. “W-we didn’t know about the Babel thing!”

I smirked. “Do you even know what Babel is?”

“Like you do.” she jeered. To be fair, I didn’t.

“The tower to heaven?” Scape mused. “Unsurprising, it’s not well accounted outside of biblical texts. All of humanity convened to build their way to God…” he began. Strangely, when he said a holy word like such, it didn’t bother us. Well, it did, but it didn’t cause a physical response. “God sighed, metaphorically, as they would eventually reach a point in the stratosphere lacking enough air to breathe, rather than reach Heaven. Therefore he scattered the humans, toppled the tower, and scrambled their minds so there would never be a unified ‘single language’ among mortals. Such a thing eliminates individuality, and leads to… Problematic ventures.”

“Huh.” Chai grunted, echoed shortly after by me.

“So what was that about a beast-damned prince of hell cursing your family?” I said at her.

Chai quivered for a moment. “...I’ll get into specifics some other time. Basically, I spent my childhood and teen years wandering a desert because my mom and dad couldn’t be honest with eachother millennia ago.” she explained.

I stared blankly at her, slowly looking at Scape. “.........I’m not the only one who heard that, right?”

“What, did part of that translate into a Brazilian swear word?” Chai teased.

“Portuguese.” I said flatly. “What do you mean wandering a desert?!”

“I mean I’ve had to kill people and predatory animals to survive to adulthood. If you DO reach adulthood as one of my family, Leviathan sends an aspect of itself to try and kill you where its machinations failed.”

“What. The fuck.”

Scape leaned back on the couch, arms behind his neck. “It’s true. I’ve met one of her siblings before- long time ago, but I had the luck to be right in the very place Leviathan dropped her to be ‘tried’ by survival.”

My jaw was agape as I tried to process this. Chai killing things? She was a punk archetype for sure, but BEFORE college age? Fuck, I still got freaked out seeing blood when I was a teen.

“Ooh, her? Do you mean Abby?” Chai said, suddenly looking giddy.

“Abigail, yes. The first to survive that trial if I remember right.”

Chai clapped. “Fuck yeah! That chick was forced to fend off dragons in the medieval times!”

“...You guys are weird,” I mumbled, standing up. “I’m gonna, like…”

“Not leave yet, surely?” Scape said, raising a brow. “Your hand…”

I unwrapped the cloth he’d put around my ‘stab wounds’. Nothing but little black curves marking my hand now, with some discoloration on my skin around them. “I’ll just wear gloves, yeah.”

Scape shrugged, standing up to step over and retrieve the makeshift cast from me. “Fair enough. Just be attentive as usual.”

“Wouldn’t want another angel attacking you~” Chai quipped.

I deadpanned back at her. “Not funny.”

Scape just shook his head, fighting off a smile as I walked out and crammed my hands under the waistband of my skirt. Stupid no-pocket women’s clothes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went somewhere different this time: Monty’s. He was on the fraternity-saturated football team, sure, but he lived in a normal dorm building a couple blocks from mine. Not for a date this time—we’d accepted by now that romance wouldn’t really gel for us—but rather to go for a drive.

“Oh, Alyssa! Wasn’t expecting to see you coming all the way up here,” was his reaction on opening his door.

I snorted. “Yo, jus’ ‘cause I’m like, sloth levels of lazy, doesn’t mean I can’t walk place to place.”

Monty chuckled, fixing his glasses. “Well, I guess you wouldn’t reach your classes if you couldn’t. Anything you wanted?”

“Bit of a tour around the city, maybe,” I said passively, waving my clot-ridden hand. “Wanted to… Y’know, chat a bit, maybe. I’unno.”

Monty sheepishly pointed at my hand. “Uh, how did…”

“Bad tattoo—I mean—Ty cut me with her fingernails. Had the damn things shaped into claws again.”

“Again? Yeesh. I’m guessing that happens often?”

“Nah, she normally has pretty good restraint. She just got kinda… Pissed off.”

“What about?”

I waved my hand dismissively. “I’ll explain it in the car.”

For a card up Mammon’s sleeve, Monty’s car was… a pretty normal four-door sedan. I guess it helped him not stick out too much from the crowds—probably would be the same case for demons if we weren’t too ‘inherently sociopathic’ to be allowed to drive. I got Monty talking a bit about his own business ventures while we were on our way off campus, so I could think a bit about a couple things. Namely the idea of Chialer being some kind of killing machine, yikes.

“...Yeah, the keyfob for my car is, itself, a weapon for self defense. I press the button opposite the key release, it flips out a switchblade.”

“Yikes.”

“Not the most practical for a fight, but it’s good at drawing blood.”

“Great for pentagrams, I’ll bet.”

“Yeah, but then I have to clean the blade. That’s a huge pain.”

“You know from what experience?” I quipped.

Monty rolled his eyes. “I told you, you’re the first demon I’ve knowingly met outside of the Mam’ himself. I just know blood is a bitch and a half to clean, even off linoleum or stainless steel.”

I thought for a moment, then quickly poked his thigh. Monty snorted.

“...Yeah, that too.”

“What else can that thing do then? Some kinda Hell’s Army Knife or something?”

“Damn, that’d be cool to have. Nah though, it’s got a couple nifty features, but nothing too amazing. Switchblade, a precision laser for distracting cats…”

“As if that’s what it’s for.”

“You’d be surprised how many greed demons are feline. Or well… Mammon told me I would be.”

“Yeah, but those’re human toys. Demon toys aren’t shipped if they can’t be used to mutilate someone.”

“...Fair,” Monty said passively, then gulped. “It reflects light through microscopic prisms inside the keyfob so when it actually shoots out, it can burn through a lot of thinner materials with some focus.”

“Oh sweet, so a mini me.”

The car skidded to a more abrupt stop than usual, Monty slamming the brakes for a stoplight as he snickered at that. “You… Shoot lasers?”

“Yeah, I’m like, a moth and all, but my head’s basically a weaponized CRT TV.”

Monty glanced at me, then the light, then me again for a moment before back to the road. “...A TV head? Those’re real popular on the internet lately.”

“Yeah, I noticed. And yes, like that one final boss from that one high-concept RPG.”

Monty snickered again, shaking his head. “I wasn’t thinking that, but okay.”

He drove along in silence. It felt weird moving… Fast-ish? But also really slow, considering. When we were on a main street with the speed-o-meter saying 45, it felt pretty normal to me, but despite this being faster than I would normally move around, it felt sluggish. Suppose I was just distracting myself.

“What’re we driving by M.I.T. for?” I asked. As implied, we were rolling onto the Mitts campus, Monty leisurely driving amidst the various buildings and weaving by cars plastered over with new ‘Dragons’ stickers.

“Game next week, right? I’m probably not gonna be participating, but I gotta be there, so I may’s well see where we’re gonna be headed.”

Traffic started to get congested near the IT’s stadium. I didn’t say anything at first, but I did furrow my brow. “Didja notice they changed the mascot?”

“Nah, not like it’s been beavers for decades or anything.”

“Word is it’s because of a demon of pride.”

Monty zipped forward suddenly, scrambling to slam the brake and pull away to avoid a crash. “Uh…. Yikes? Aren’t they like, the most powerful?”

“Sorta…. Their prince is the devil himself.” I said, crossing my arms and leaning back.

Monty glanced at me before righting himself back onto the street. “Kinda figured…. Has that not been done before or something?”

“Probably has, I’unno. Kicker is, the jackass is my roommate’s brother.”

“No shit?”

“No shit. She was pretty pissed about it earlier today.”

“Lemme guess….”

“Oh yeah, obviously the reason I got cut up.”

Monty drove around by the parking lot for the stadium…. And rolled up to park. “Apparently there’s a pep rally going on…. Explains the traffic and all.”

“What, going into the core of enemy territory for shits and giggles?” I quipped, hesitantly getting up and out of the car.

“Well, maybe a bit of espionage. Really, I’m just caught up on studying, and football practice’s tomorrow.”

I snorted. “Aha. Aha… Yeah, uh, I got outta cheer practice early.”

We both chuckled awkwardly at that, and after a bit of second guessing ourselves (or at least me), made our way into the stadium.

And uh, beast-damn.

The Mitts’ football team was running a workout routine around the field, high-fiving people as they passed by the barriers, and whooping and shouting a ‘go team’ chant. Hundreds of M.I.T. students were convened in the stands, all cramming themselves down in front to get a close-up view of their sportsballers. Monty prodded at one to ask “shouldn’t half of you be in class?”, to which a few people giddily explained that the school was paid off to observe some random holiday that was today. This seemed really over the top, and that was exactly the point.

Leading the newly green-and-gold-clad sports team was their mascot: a golden-scaled dragon with an emeraldesque underbelly, plated on joints with pads that looked more like combat armor, and a ‘jersey’ that had to be a flak jacket painted over.

The sight bothered me in a way. That guy was winding one of the most prestigious places of learning on Earth around his claw, parading around as himself by way of a glorified fursuit. What really concerned me though was the fact it was combat-ready. He was ready to walk that suit into a gunfight, and I did not want to know why.

Then he started shouting along for the team and crowd, too.

“When I say M-I, you say T! Mass in!” “Tech!” “Mass in!” “Tech!”

“Let’s go dragons, let’s go!” “Fire with fire! Raze and blaze!”

A presumable QB tossed a football to Ezekiel, and he ran forward to throw it in a perfect arc to the guy in back. That guy crouched in place, and hurled the thing for the opposite end of the field. Ezekiel wasted no time bolting after it, the wings of his suit furling out and flapping. Too stiff to be real, but that’d have to be expensive as fuck for a costume prop. When he passed the thirty, he dove forward. By the twenty, he was sliding along the slicked astroturf. At the ten, the football landed down into his suit’s oversized paws, and he stopped his penguin slide right at the touchdown line.

The crowd roared, all the cliques shamelessly roaring like dragons as best they could, no matter how bad it sounded or how sick or hoarse they may’ve been. Monty joined in. I stared blankly as Tyler’s twin stood up to dance and twirl around.

“M-I-T! M-I-T!” “M-I-T! M-I-T!”

I sidled next to Monty, looking at his eyes from the side. Practically glazed over. Thinking on my feet, I snuck a hand into his pocket and fished out the keys delicately while he was entranced. After that, I slipped away into the away team’s locker room.

“Ty?”

“Ally? Where the home are you?”

I cupped a hand around the mic on my phone. “Mitts stadium, it’s a shitshow.”

“You think? My brother studies there.”

“No like, seriously, he’s running a pep rally. Running a pep rally.”

“What do you mean by that?” Scape cut in. Chai was still in his office, evidently.

“They’re cheering and chanting with him and all, but like…. Everyone’s glazing over. The shy guys are crowding up in front to shout, the emos and jocks are doing cheesy roars with the rest… Fucking Monty joined in with them.”

“Monty who?” “Robert, Tyler…”

“Is that not possession?”

“Is bandwagoning possession?” Scape retorted.

I furrowed my brow, fiddling with Monty’s keyfob. “Come on, he’s a demon.”

“He’s naturally charismatic.”

“Monty’s on the football team against his!”

“Yeah, that’s bullshit.” Chai said flatly.

“So a supporter of the red sox would have to be possessed to join the cheers?”

I took an agitated breath. “Okay, Ty, so ‘Zippy’’s out there riling everyone up. What would you be doing?”

“Not the best idea…” Scape murmured more distantly.

“I’ll save the ass-kicking for the game. I say give him some kinda warning of what’s to come, but it’s not like you’re gonna get anywhere with your cheer uni-”

I hung up, grinning to myself.

As I pocketed Monty’s key for later, I passively listened to the crowd.

“Bulldogs lie! Dragons fly! Bulldogs lie! Dragons fly!”

It was getting more directed against Boston U. If I caught Monty cheering along with that, he’d be catching my four hands later. But right now? They were reserved for homegirl’s reptilian twin.

“Ay! Ay! Scale-back chump!”

The crowd kept on their chant, ignoring that callout. Boring.

“DRAGONS DIE!”

That shut them up. Everyone turned to the stadium’s away team door. I did a ballerina twirl, putting up two peace signs, two hands to my left hip, posed like an anime protagonist in a triumphant freeze-frame.

“It’s MOTHS that fly!”

Several gasps passed through the crowd like snakes hissing in the bushes. I hopped back, and jogged out directly towards Ezekiel. I may’ve been smaller than him in his suit, but a humanoid moth was no less cartoony than a foam and fiberglass dragon.

The dragon crossed his arms, tilting his head back as I ran up. “Hey, missy, the furry convention’s down in the Fens.”

I got up in his face, crossing my arms right back. My eyes were already hurting from keeping wide open, but I could see him shrink back just a bit. “Yeah, they thought you got lost on your way~” I teased.

“Just who’re you supposed to be, some butterfly fresh out of a toner cartridge explosion?”

I twirled back away, my foot barely missing his stomach. Turned away from him, I struck another pose, showing off my Boston U jersey before going into a dance. “Gimme an S! Gimme a T! Gimme e-l-l A! Stella the moth! Raring to play!”

After a cartwheel, I did a handstand on my two left hands, shaking somewhat but still managing to stick up a heart symbol with my right hands. “Boston U’s star bug! The bug zapper, the astral attacker!”

I dropped back down and did a jump and spin, taking a fighting stance at Zippy as his ball team grouped up behind him, confused. I pointed two fingers at Zippy, nervous someone had noticed my right hands desyncing before. “And the dragons’ waking night-terror!”

Silence filled the air, everyone holding their breath for several moments. Then an uproar of cheers and boos, rabid Mitt supporters verbally fighting to out-enthuse the folks I excited. Obscuring as his mask was, I could feel Zippy glaring at me.

I did a cartwheel back away. “Satur-satur-saturday! Lizard vee’ Saturnian!” I chanted.

“Lizard verse’ Scribonia!” came a single voice. Monty’s, and beast-damnit that correction made me cringe.

I did another cartwheel, then a twirl in place, flupping out my wings to show off the night-sky pattern on them. “M-I-T! Boston U! Moths will slay! Drakes fall through!”

“Moths will slay!” “Drakes will flay!” “M-I-T!” “Go Boston U!” “Hell yeah Stella!” “Get her, Sammy!”

‘Sammy’. How unoriginal. I just smirked, doing another wheel, then another, belting out another cheer with each one. The pep rally turned into a split of spirits, Monty disappearing from the crowd while several people pulled their phones, or already had them out. As I hit the edge of the turf, I made eye contact with Zippy, who had an air of disgust hiding under those fake eyes. I pointed to myself then him.

“Next week, serpent boy! You better practice that crawling on your belly! You’ll need it when I’m done with you!”

“We’ll see about that, micro-mothra! You fly into my flames, you’re gonna get burned!”

I went out to the parking lot, where Monty was frantically patting himself down. I skipped up and dangled his keys out for him. “Sorryyyyy, I got some stabby thoughts about dumbhead mcgee back there. Decided to challenge him to a boxing match instead~”

Monty’s eyes went wide at the sight of me in my real form. “...Holy shit, Alyssa, you look… Wow. Can’t even be mad about the keys…”

I scoffed, dropping the ‘fob on the asphalt at his feet so he’d scramble to pick them back up and unlock his car. “Wooooow, you like some insect more than miss unconventionally attractive hispanic girl? Can’t tell whether to call you racist, superficial, or a furry~” I jeered.

Monty chuckled awkwardly. “Uh, isn’t that your… Actual self though?”

I giggled, pushing him towards the car door as I skipped around to get in the passenger’s seat. “Duh~ What better than having an actual live cryptid come up to rep a university football team?”

“Oh, I thought mothman lived in Virginia?”

I glanced around, before my fur and lower arms retracted, my body morphing to human guise once again. “I mean, you’re not WRONG about mothman, but legit, that was going around Ty and I’s dorm.”

Monty turned away as I changed, probably to be polite, then got to driving out and back to our campus. “Not gonna be that great when the bulldogs show up anyway, though.”

“Oh you’ll see, Monto, I’ve got my methods- and Ty’s gonna owe me grands when we get a new costume and merch in.”

My phone vibrated, and I pulled it out. Tyler calling, so I ignored it. I had multiple missed calls from her, Scape, and Nebula all at once… I’d take that as a stunt success.

#Alpha Centauri #fun times #I started bringing my laptop to school this term and it's been great

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moviegeeksfilmnews-blog1 · 4 years

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Star Wars:Episode VII

We now know who will write and who will helm the first of the stand alone Star Wars movies. And thanks to CNet we have a release date. The movie is scheduled for release on December 16th 2016, making the May release dates a thing of the past. The film will be directed by British born Garreth Edwards. Mr. Edwards’ first movie Monsters was one of my favourite films the year it was released and he went on to direct this year’s Godzilla showing just how capable a director he really is. /Film ran a piece about the announcement and quoted Mr. Edwards as having said the following:

"Ever since I saw Star Wars I knew exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life – join the Rebel Alliance! I could not be more excited & honoured to go on this mission with Lucasfilm,"

As for the writer on the as yet untitled movie; we get Gary Whittas. Mr. Whittas was responsible for The Book Of Eli, which was another enjoyable and very original movie. One has to wonder about what tone the producers are aiming for for the first standalone Star Wars movie. When you compare the DNA of Monsters and The Book Of Eli there are some interesting parallels.

So what will the first non saga film in the history of Star Wars focus on? There has been a lot of chatter on the interwebs about more prequels. Yep, prequels. It doesn’t matter how you cut it, a Boba Fett or a Han Solo movie would be a prequel. In fact, mining anything from the canon would constitute a prequel, but to we really want to see early years stories of characters like Yoda? I’d have to come out and say no thank you! Remembering that the above announcements are the only official word on the projects so far, let’s take a look at the rumoured release schedule:

Firstly here is the predicted line up:

2014: Rebels

2015: Episode VII

2016: Boba Fett

2017: Episode VIII

2018: Solo

2019: Episode IX

2020: Red Five

From the top then: Rebels airs on TV later this year. There has been talk that there will be some familiar faces in the cast. Obi Wan Kenobi been all but confirmed, Lando Calrissian is being strongly rumoured. And why not? Vader, the Emperor even teenagers Luke and Leia are available to draw on in this time period and I’m sure after a couple of seasons the creators will start looking in those directions.

Then we have Episode VII

As yet untitled but currently shooting with an exciting cast, I think we all have quite positive feelings about this movie. J.J. seems to fully respect the franchise and understand what made the original films great so we can relax a little bit there. We’ve had a couple of video messages from the director including this one which featured an interesting practical effect.

Here we reach our first bump in the road

The next prediction is for the movie Mr. Edwards is due to helm. This movie, according to rumour, will be about Boba Fett! I really hate this idea. Here’s why: we have gone back and studied a mysterious character from the original trilogy before. That character was Anakin Skywalker. Now, I was perfectly fine with Darth Vader having been Anakin. I was happy with the nods toward his past with Obi Wan, his appearance beneath the mask in Jedi and his old man force ghost in the trilogy’s closing moments, then we get the prequels. Now I don’t bash on the prequels like many people, I enjoy much of what’s there, but I’m certain I didn’t need so much Anakin back story. The attempts to make Anakin and by extension Vader more sympathetic harmed the character if Vader. In fact I wonder just how much power that character would have for an audience familiar with the new running order. The “I am your father” moment is lost forever right? So do we really want to be looking into these character’s pasts again? Perhaps in some cases, and we will get to that in a moment, but certainly not in others. Boba Fett was arguably one of the coolest things about the original films, helped largely by the fact that he was a mystery. He came out of nowhere, had two or three lines, did his evil deeds and disappeared. He was incredibly popular as a result and I think its fair to say throwing the character under the spotlight in Attack Of The Clones was a mistake. Knowing where he came from undermined his character. Making his ‘father’ the clone template and placing them both in the Battle of Geonosis made the universe of Star Wars seem smaller. Why does everybody have to cross paths with everybody else? Chewy in Revenge Of The Sith, and The Clone a Wars TV series for that matter, did the same thing. It shrinks the world, why wouldn’t their big screen entrance into this world have been the first involvement with it? Leave their origins alone.

Let’s skip ahead to 2018’s offering. It’s rumoured to be a Han Solo movie. What could that possibly be I wonder! The character is reportedly taking centre stage in a Episode VII, so it won’t be a sequel, we’re getting that already! It won’t be set between episodes either and I’m pretty sure it won’t be an art house piece focusing on his time in carbonite as told through his nightmarish fever dreams! No this would be another bloody prequel! Another origin story for a character I’m happy to have met the moment he slid behind that table in A New Hope! I don’t want to see him as a kid! Even Uncle George dodged that bullet in Revenge Of The Sith when he abandoned a story that had a young Han Solo on the Wookiee home world. Leave him as a figure of mystery. We know enough, he was a smuggler, he was a gambler, he won the Falcon and cheated Jabba. And he shot first! Why do we need more that that? He served his purpose in the trilogy he was in, he served the story, he was never the focus, Luke was. We don’t need a Han Solo movie.

This brings us to another problem. Casting. Who would play the characters? Boba Fett could be anyone really that doesn’t matter. Prequel actor Daniel Logan lacks the chops so we might want to pass him over, but you can stick anyone else under that helmet and let them have a go at it (Karl Urban please), but Han is different. You only have a limited time frame to play with. Han was about 35 in Star Wars so you need to go younger than that. Too young and you make the Anakin mistake from Episode I and it becomes something other than a Han movie. Han will have to be in his late 20s early 30s and perhaps be played by an unknown with a passing resemblance to Harrison Ford. Good luck with that! Or, Zack Effron has been long rumoured as a potential Star Wars actor, is that what you want? No, leave the Solo character alone, we don’t need more detail on his origin thanks.

But there is one character that we could see work. The time frame is clear, at least until the Rebels TV show time frame, about 4 years prior to a Episode IV A New Hope. We’d be picking up after the prequels, before the original 1977 film, and you could cast the same actor. Step forward Obi Wan!

An Obi Wan movie could be perfect! He spent years in the wastes of a Tatooine as far as we know! Nothing else is eluded too in the original films. Maybe he had off world adventures? Maybe he worked with Clone Wars characters like Ahsoka Tano in those years. We’d get to see those characters in live action. Perhaps he has to fight off those hunting down the Jedi. Maybe it’d be a small self contained western style story set in a dusty little alien town. Perhaps Obi Wan and a female character, potentially Ahsoka, would find themselves on the road, against great odds travelling to safety in a wild and desolate landscape filled with deadly creatures and dangerous marauders. Perhaps Obi Wan would be tasked by someone to return something precious to him, maybe a Jedi Holocron, that he will need to protect! If any of those elements seem familiar to you it suggests that you may have seen Garreth Edwards’ Monsters and the Gary Whittas penned The Book Of Eli.

This has to have crossed the collective minds of producers! Ewan McGregor has indicated that he’d like to return, and I’d love to see him in the role again. Tell a simple, stand alone story, and get it right, and you’ll be able to do another one in a few years! There are stories that exist to be draw on too. Like the novel Star Wars Kenobi and the graphic novel that sees the return of Darth Maul. Now I know that’s been covered in the, now canon, Clone Wars, but it’s an example of the freedom the Obi Wan character gives creators. He is an established character with a solid back story, we know what happens to him so he’ll need others to interact with so the story has something at stake. We also don’t know the fate of Ahsoka Tano. When last we saw her she left the Jedi. What’s her fate, do you think the creators will leave her out of the expanded stories?

Finally, 2020 will supposedly bring us Red Five. Red Five was Luke’s call sign in A New Hope, but by Empire he was Red Leader and never returned to Rogue Squadron, so what’s the plan here? Recast Luke? Tell Rogue Squadron stories set between A New Hope and Empire? No thanks to the recasting I can live without that! An animated film perhaps? Maybe an animated TV show like Rebels? I could deal with that. They’d have a short window within which to work, even if there was two years between episodes IV and V that’d only give you two seasons of TV wouldn’t it? I guess each season could focus on a six month period and then you’d get four or five seasons so that could work. So if there is any truth to the Red Five rumour I’m betting on an animated Luke focused TV show that takes over from Rebels.

So what about the future of big screen Star Wars? Another trilogy? There could be an argument to be made here. Disney have a huge cash cow with this franchise, one they paid top dollar for, you don’t expect them to call it a day at Episode IX do you? There could be Obi Wan sequels that see Ewan McGregor reprise the role well into his later years, as he catches up to Alec Guinness’ age. How about original characters? The new cast could spin off into stand alone movies? Prequels! We could have Darth Plagueis or Darth Sidious origins, maybe we see young Darth Maul. I’m not saying I’d like to see those, but they’re options.

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