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#what's really interesting to me about this character is that that specifically isn't always invoked
daydreamerdrew · 9 months
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Iron Man (1968) #95
#regarding Tony saying that he didn't choose to stop being Iron Man after he got his synthetic heart transplant#he did actually try to stop and found a successor and everything#but then found that he couldn't bare having someone else take those risks with their life when he could have#I think it's an interesting framing to Tony being Iron Man overall#he's invoking that impossibility of him being able to quite when he says he's not even sure he could#and the phrasing of 'I've managed to decide my life- at least for this week'#while referring to how he's always kind of questioning things#(because the set-up he has makes happiness impossible)#is reminiscent to me of the belief back when Tony was constantly having heart attacks and nearly dying#that because he could really die at any time it wasn't right for him have any kind of real intimate relationship#because he was going to eventually die young and abandon that person#what's really interesting to me about this character is that that specifically isn't always invoked#and neither is the concern that people close to him would be targeted because he's a superhero#sometimes that he has to pretend to be callous in both of his identities is just kind of left to a just because#like when Jasper Sitwell was in the hospital and Tony pretending to not care#while internally decrying about how he wasn't ever able to show the tenderness inside of him#I'm also thinking of when he was in a cycle with Janice Cord their entire relationship#and he just kept pushing her away then letting her back into his life#and then when she died he considered that maybe all his reasons were just poor excuses and they could have made it work#of course- as evidenced by that he's doing that exact same pushing away again- that questioning didn't last#the character's circumstances changes but his belief that he can't let people be close to him remains stubborn#marvel#tony stark#my posts#comic panels
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powdermelonkeg · 1 year
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hi there! as someone who can't play CoH but is extremely interested in the game's story and worldbuilding, this is ur excuse to infodump as much as u want abt it if you have the energy bc i'll love you forever. pls tell me more abt it!
remember to hydrate and i hope you have a good day!
Okay so the very first thing that comes to mind:
The music.
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I've talked about this once before (well over a year ago) here, but I need to gush about it more in-depth.
Obviously, it's the most important part of the game. It's a RHYTHM game. But it's not just a mechanic, it's something acknowledged in-world:
“This world does have some surprising similarities to my own. For example, whenever there are monsters nearby, you have to move to the beat! You’ll get used to it… Trust me.
"But at least in your world, if there are no enemies around, you can move as fast or as slow as you want. Handy!”
Cadence says this if you talk to her next to Link's house. Not only is this confirmation that the music is present, but that it's also a force in the world that works differently in other dimensions, like magic.
A good number of entries to the series have different music if enemies are around. Some examples:
Ocarina of Time
Wind Waker
Twilight Princess
Skyward Sword
Breath of the Wild
Not to mention that virtually ALL of the games have their own boss and miniboss music.
To have this acknowledged in-game is such a neat bit of worldbuilding if you run with it. My headcanon is that it's a form of synesthesia; ie, something from one sense is causes an unrelated reaction in a different sense. Smelling certain things when you see colors, seeing patterns when you touch materials, and so on.
In this case, I believe it's telepathic synesthesia. Hylians are known for their ability to hear "the voice of the gods," though this most commonly manifests by Zelda talking to Link to ask for help.
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Telepathy is the ability to read minds. Enemies, presumably, have the ability to think (at least with enough capacity to see Link as a threat and attack him). With music being acknowledged as an in-world force, my theory is that Link (and by extension Zelda, Cadence, Yves, and any other playable character) interprets the thoughts of the various around him as their own kind of music.
The forest takes on a different theme if it's under attack, because the wildlife is trying to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. People have themes as they come into view, because their thoughts invoke a specific feeling in Link. That's how you get bad-news music for someone who's later going to be revealed as a boss, or pleasant tunes for someone guaranteed to be a friend, or leitmotifs for related characters.
All the Links have this to some degree. The original Legend of Zelda only really has two themes: the theme of the world, and the theme of the monster-infected dungeons. His telesthesia is very low-key.
On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, Cadence of Hyrule has themes for every area, with both peaceful and monster-infested variants. On top of this, he gets a visual indicator as well; there's a rhythm counter at the bottom of the screen that tells you when and how to step, and when it's not around, you're out of danger.
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What's really interesting is looking at this beyond the game convenience, because it's both an asset and a disability. On the positive side, Link will always know when he's in danger, or when a place has different life in it from areas he's been to before. In Cadence of Hyrule specifically, though, it lets him predict his enemies' moves, recognizing patterns and dodging in time with their thoughts.
On the negative side, telepathy is, presumably, an at-will power. Zelda isn't always reading minds and sending thoughts to the people around her, as far as we can tell. But with Link hearing the music constantly, this means that he both cannot read or send thoughts himself and cannot turn the ability off. The only way for him to get peace and quiet is to isolate himself, and being in a place with a lot of people walking around can be incredibly overwhelming over time. And even barring that, in Cadence of Hyrule, you're punished for not being on beat; Link is very much dependent on this ability to keep his fighting prowess, something other Links don't have to suffer through.
In that regard, I think it's no coincidence that Age of Calamity has such a vibrant and varied soundtrack, while Breath of the Wild limits itself mostly to piano. BotW is an empty world, full of ruins and quiet, where enemies are remnants rather than an active force. Meanwhile, Age of Calamity is a literal warfront. If the music reflects the people in the setting, Breath of the Wild's Link is experiencing the first real quiet he has in over a century. It's a shame he can't remember it, isn't it?
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eyes-talks-ocs · 1 year
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So. I decided I was going to do something experimental with how I do some POV changes in my book.
It's written in 3rd person, told through one perspective. But there's just so much happening in the story line, and there's parts where the whole group isn''t always together. Sometimes someone is off by themselves.
I have my gripes with POV changes, I never cared for them much, so I just choose not to write them. There's just so much ground to cover in my plot though, that it's almost impossible to write the foreshadowing/hooks needed to make the jumps work without a POV shift.
So, taking after one of my favorite authors. I'm getting weird with some chapters and trying something out of the ordinary. It might not be a single word just repeating for 3 pages straight like something he's done. But. It is different and it's not something I think I've seen before.
There are POV shifts now, but they give very little information and are spoken through a more - poetic (?) style? If you want to call it that? Quick glimpses of what's going on and how the character is reacting/feeling. My intentions with how these POV changes are set up, is to give just enough information to the reader to get a vague idea of what's happening, and to make them curious and confused about wtf is happening.
My chapter 8 is one of those chapters. The previous chapter ends with one of the characters letting his buddy know that he's going to be gone for a day, maybe a couple. He's not sure but he's going for a cruise. Obviously, he's not saying exactly what he's up to, but he's just letting someone know he's not going to be around for a little bit, so nothing to worry about. His buddy knows that he's up to something, but he knows his friend and he's not going to question it. Takes it at face value.
Well, I just had my best friend read the experimental chapter switching POV to the character that just left the group to go on a solo adventure. I asked my best friend what feelings that chapter invoked and if it struck his curiosity enough to really wanna know what's going on.
My best friend said yes, that his curiosity was peaked, but the chapter seemed really melancholy and sounded like this character was just waiting to die. Like it was a suicide note.
That vibe was not at all what I was trying to convey in emotion. I found it really interesting though. As the author, I know what happens after that chapter. So, I'm a bit blind to how a reader would take some of the foreshadowing and bends I make. The emotion and vibe I was trying to hit with that experimental chapter, was more along the lines of desperate or even closer to manic. Not sad or depressing, just chaotic, pessimistic, and maybe even nonsensical. BUT, given who this specific character is. The vibe my friend got from reading the draft, isn't at all out of character for this character either. (Which, given that my best friend didn't know who's POV this chapter was following, made me feel confident that I'm writing my characters consistently and with their own unique personalities that can be felt without saying who it is.)
I just found it really interesting, that out of the possible outcomes of the little glimpse of that character's solo adventure. The conclusion my best friend came to, though not correct, is completely valid and probably wouldn't take the reader by that much surprise if it was the right guess. But the jumbled quick peaks into what was going on, was still exciting enough for a reader to want to know more. Even though the conclusion they formulated was - dark and took me by surprise when they gave their feedback.
I donno. Just rambling about something I found interesting about some feedback I got from someone reading a little draft of a couple scenes.
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xiyao-feels · 3 years
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Nie//yao (MDZS)
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So NMJ/JGY is actually getting two versions, because my read on them is wildly different for MDZS vs CQL.
In MDZS I...don't ship it? I mean, there just doesn't seem to be to be anything there at all of a romantic or sexual nature. It's not that they don't care about each other, they clearly do, but it's in a way that is...NMJ as substitute father, JGY as substitute brother, and heavily, heavily inflected by their (current and then former) relationship as superior and subordinate.
Putting this behind a cut because a) it's me explaining at breath length with quotes why I don't think they have a romantic or sexual relationship and I don't want people to have to see that unless they want and b) accordingly it is REALLY LONG and I also don't want to clutter people's dashes, so.
Actually backing up a step, I don't see MDZS NMJ as being attracted to anyone, that's not really specific to JGY. I tend to read him as aspec, tbh. So theoretically he could have romantic feelings about JGY without being attracted to him—I think he may have some quasi-romantic feelings for LXC, though I don't think he conceptualizes it that way—but... honestly, it's not really clear to me that he even likes JGY as a person.
I'm not saying he doesn't like JGY! He clearly does, at least before MY tricks him and flees. But it doesn't seem to have anything to do with MY's personality, as opposed to like—MY being really competent and conducting himself well.
Some quotes about what exactly NMJ values about JGY:
'Nie MingJue interrupted him, “I promoted you not because I wanted you to give back anything out of gratitude. I simply thought that you should stay in this position, since you are capable enough and your conduct is to my liking. If you really want to pay me back, just kill a few more of those Wen-dogs on the battlefield!”'
'After [Meng Yao] left [for Langya], Nie MingJue switched to another deputy. Wei WuXian, however, felt that the new one was always a few beats slower. Meng Yao was an unusually clever talent. He could understand what wasn’t said, and perform to the best with the simplest orders. He was efficient and never slacked. Anyone used to him wouldn’t be able to refrain from comparing him with others.'
'Nie MingJue was never close to people. He rarely opened up to anyone. Though he finally managed to obtain a competent, trustworthy subordinate, whose character and capabilities he approved, he found that the subordinate’s true colors were nothing like what he had thought they were. It was only natural that his reaction was so extreme.'
'Wei WuXian had once found it strange as well. Ever since Meng Yao betrayed the QingheNie Sect, the relationship between Nie MingJue and him hadn’t been the same as before. Then why did they later become sworn brothers? From his observations, aside from how Lan XiChen brought it up, having always hoped that the two would reconcile, the most important factor was probably the gratitude of saving his life and writing the letters. To be precise, in his past battles, he had more-or-less depended on the information that Meng Yao sent over through Lan XiChen. He still thought that Jin GuangYao was a talented person whom one would rarely come upon, and intended on leading him back onto the right path. However, Jin GuangYao wasn’t his subordinate anymore. Only after they became sworn brothers would he have the status and the position to urge Jin GuangYao, like how he disciplined his younger brother, Nie HuaiSang.'
Jin GuangYao spoke with dejection, “But, Brother, didn’t you hear what he said in the oath? Every sentence meant something more. ‘Face a thousand accusing fingers, be torn from limb to limb’—this was clearly a warning for me. I… I’ve never heard of such an oath before.”
Lan XiChen replied in a gentle voice, “He said ‘if one were to think otherwise’. Do you think otherwise? If not, then why should you worry over it so much?"
Jin GuangYao, “I don’t, but Brother has already decided that I do, so what can I do?”
Lan XiChen, “He has always cherished your talent, hoping that you would choose the right path.”
You might notice a recurring theme here: there's a lot of focus JGY's competence and conduct. But anything about who JGY is as a person? Not so much.
They clearly had a good superior/subordinate relationship going on, albeit one in which NMJ was missing a lot of context (see just behave well and show people up, plus the you're missing a solid foundation thing). But it does seem to be basically professional. WWX describes them as conversing "peaceably, even impressively" in contrast to "his future self, always being scolded by Nie MingJue" and "those jokes of how 'LianFang-Zun fled whenever he heard that ChiFeng-Zun arrived,'" and.... that's kind of it. The closest we get to them as friends is them talking together with LXC after NMJ tells MY he will give him a letter of recommendation and send him to his father; as WWX describes it, "The three chatted back and forth, at times serious, yet at times light. The conversation was much more relaxed than when they had been in the living room. Listening to their chatter, Wei WuXian often wanted to get a word in as well, yet he was unable to do so."
That's definitely not nothing! But it's also the most we ever get, only shows up the once, and is explicitly contrasted with their conversation from earlier. Moreover, I'm pretty sure LXC's presence is a necessary part of things; NMJ tends to respond differently to LXC than to other people (even just earlier in this chapter, we're told that while "Nie MingJue had never been one for humour," "in front of Lan XiChen his expression eased"), and WWX explicitly notes LXC's conversation skills in the context of this conversation: "At this point in time, their relationship really isn't bad. Zewu-Jun is actually quite good at holding conversations, so why is Lan Zhan so bad at it?"
In addition, I'd say that looking at the early part of that conversation is quite telling; while LXC and MY are sitting together as equals, MY stand up at once the moment NMJ interrupts, and doesn't sit even after NMJ tells him to do so (I think he probably does take a seat at some point, but the narrative doesn't actually tell us when). Moreover, MY seems to be worried that NMJ will be offended by a possible lack of gratitude on MY's part ("Sect Leader Nie, if you heard everything, then you should've also heard me say that..."), and the only objection he expresses to leaving is precisely that he owes NMJ a debt of gratitude, not anything to do with, like, missing him. To me all the evidence suggests that while they had a close relationship, it was not a /personal/ relationship, but fundamentally one of superior and subordinate.
(For a close read of the scene where NMJ, LXC and MY are talking together, I highly recommend @confusion-and-more's post here)
Moving on, let's look at after JGY becomes JGY. They don't seem to particularly spend time together with each other, certainly not for the sake of it. There's a brief moment at the Flower Banquet where NMJ asks JGY why he's wasting his time with XY (who has not at this point in time committed his crime, he just has a reputation), but after JGY makes his excuse and scurries away, NMJ turns away and doesn't seem to seek him out or even pay him any particular attention for the rest of the scene; he only shows up once more, and that's following WWX. (And although JGY-as-replacement-NHS would be a post all on its own, I do think it's interesting to note that the exchange about XY is immediately followed by LXC and LWJ coming over, described in a way that highlights both their impressiveness and their status at brothers—their Twin Jade-ness, one might say.) During the guqin scene, NMJ only speaks once, and it's to address LXC—to protest the inappropriateness of LXC leaking exclusive Lan techniques. When JGY shows up to play the guqin for him the first time, NMJ asks JGY "what did you come here for," which suggests that NMJ is not generally expecting JGY to come by without a specific, concrete reason. The closest they ever seem to get after JGY becomes JGY is during these guqin-playing sessions, and as WWX describes it, "when playing the guqin, the way that the two conversed and got along even had a hint of the peace they had before they fell out"—which is certainly better than there being no peace at all, but which I think suggests there's still at least some tension, given that it's only a "hint."
Now, NMJ certainly cares about JGY, both in the sense of desiring his well-being, at first, and absolutely in the sense of being emotionally invested in him—even after his death, as a fierce corpse his only desire is to kill Jin Guangyao. But while they had a close superior-subordinate relationship—certainly NMJ seems to have felt close to MY—at no point was it a close personal relationship, and I don't think that NMJ even liked JGY (or MY, I'm using the name expansively) as a person, let alone was in love with him.
But mostly so far I've been focusing in NMJ's feelings. What about JGY? Is /he/ in love with NMJ?
Once again, I just don't read him that way. This isn't to say he didn't care for NMJ—he absolutely did! He goes to quite significant lengths to save his life from WRH in the Sun Palace, including quite a lot of risk to MY himself—I analyze that in a lot more depth in the first part of my post here, if you're interested, though I will also note now that he specifically sent for LXC to help NMJ. (You'll have to scroll down some; I'm responding to someone else's post.) Afterwards, he kneels to NMJ and apologizes, I think sincerely, for hurting him and for invoking his pain about his father's death. He certainly conceives of himself as owing a debt of gratitude to NMJ for recognizing him, and he's so overcome when NMJ offers to send him to his father with a letter of recommendation, saying that he didn't promote MY so that MY would owe him, that he quite remarkably can't even find words. NMJ meant a lot to him, and so did NMJ's not defining him in terms of his birth—until he did, of course, at the stairs kick incident. But as far as I can tell, there's nothing to suggest he has /romantic feelings/ for NMJ, and frankly—how can I put this—it does not at all surprise me that JGY isn't in love with someone with a violent temper who is noted at least twice to react to people explaining themselves when he is angry with even more anger, and that's even without the thing where he nearly killed JGY on multiple occasions and called him the son of a prostitute.
No, I think JGY's emotional journey with NMJ goes through three stages: first, he's deeply grateful to him and respects him a great deal, although he's also aware of NMJ's lack of awareness of certain social realities (see: the teacup scene, NMJ yelling at the other Nie cultivators about their treatment of MY and telling MY not to worry as long as his conduct is upright); second, after Sun Palace, still gratitude and respect but also a mounting frustration with his lack of awareness of the implications of JGY's social position and his hypocrisy re: acceptable violence; finally, after the stairs kick when NMJ kicks him down the stairs, almost kills him, and tells him what else can be expected from the son of a prostitute, he is completely done with NMJ, but is still very much scared of him. The gratitude, I've discussed; the frustration, I think is fairly obvious in the speech he gives back to NMJ at the stairs. But I think the fear is often undervalued, so I'm going to pull a bunch of quotes again:
Meng Yao shrunk immediately after his previous outburst. Watching Baxia slash toward him, he sprinted off at once, scared lifeless. Of the two, one striked with madness and the other fled with madness. Both staggered, still soaked in blood. In such amusing circumstances, as Wei WuXian chopped at the future Chief Cultivator, in his heart he split his sides laughing. He thought that if not for how Nie MingJue was under heavy injuries and lacked spiritual power, Meng Yao would probably have been dead already.
Baxia’s strikes were so menacing that Shuoyue had to unsheath. Lan XiChen stopped him, half to support his figure and half to block his attacks, “MingJue-xiong, calm down! Why bother?”
Nie MingJue, “Why don’t you ask what he did?!”
Lan XiChen turned around to look at Meng Yao, his face was full of terror. He stammered as if he didn’t dare speak.
Nie MingJue remained silent, while Baxia and Shuoyue continued. Meng Yao took a glimpse at the glares from the clashes of the saber and the sword, his gaze full of fear. After a while, however, he still took a step forward. He kneeled to Nie MingJue.
A moment later, Nie MingJue still raised his saber. Lan XiChen, “MingJue-xiong!”
Meng Yao shut his eyes. Lan XiChen also tightened his grip on Shuoyue, “Please excuse…”
Before he could finish his sentence, the silver light of the blade slashed down violently, onto a boulder on the side.
Meng Yao flinched from the thunder of the boulder splitting apart. Looking over, he saw that it had been sliced into two halves, from the top to the bottom.
Jin GuangYao nodded. Xue Yang had been infamous ever since he was young. Wei WuXian clearly felt Nie MingJue’s brows knit even tighter. He spoke, “Why are you wasting your time with such a person?”
Jin GuangYao, “The LanlingJin Sect recruited him.”
He didn’t dare to protest any further. Excuse being that he needed to care for the guests, he scurried to the other side.
[part of his speech to NMJ at the stairs] You think that I should be afraid of nothing? Well I'm afraid of everything, even other people!
Within the temple, three people called Nie MingJue’s corpse ‘Brother’ but the three tones were drastically different. Jin GuangYao’s face was full of a drowning fear. His entire body began to shiver. No matter dead or alive, the person Jin GuangYao was most scared of was none but this sworn brother of his whose temper tolerated no evil. As his body shivered, his hands shivered as well, and the bloody guqin string he clutched tightly in his hand also began to shiver.
Clenching his teeth, Jin GuangYao struck a few acupoints of his arm. Amidst the dizziness that came from a loss of blood, he suddenly saw Nie MingJue walk a step towards him, his eyes locked on him. He was immediately half-dead with fear.
Collapsed beside Lan XiChen, Jin GuangYao saw this scene as well. Whether because the bleeding and the pain intensified at his arm and stomach or from some other reason, the glisten of tears could be seen in his eyes. But before he had a chance to catch his breath or lick his wounds, Nie MingJue turned around after he pulled his fist back and stared hungrily in his direction.
The harsh, stern expression on his rigid face held a sense of judgement that was no different from before he died. Even his tears had been scared away as Jin GuangYao turned to Lan XiChen for help, his voice trembling, “Brother…”
I think the stuff with, you know, handling NMJ's fierce corpse and hanging onto his head is often viewed as evidence of JGY's continued emotional investment in NMJ, but... I don't really think so? First of all, NMJ's fierce corpse is completely obsessed with killing JGY. I'll spare you another round of quotes on that because this is already ridiculously long and because it's not at all subtle—it's all over the temple chapters, take a look! And second of all—well, there's ways of getting information from a corpse. In this case, NMJ's resentful energy is so strong that without the protection of his body, papernan WWX is actually sucked into NMJ's memories against his will! Sure, maybe no one would risk it, and maybe no one who risked it would survive, but especially given that NMJ's fierce corpse is completely obsessed with killing JGY, that's a heck of a risk to take. And look at the description of the protections around NMJ's head:
Suddenly, Wei WuXian noticed that one of the shelves were blocked by a curtain. The curtain was covered in sinister, blood-red runes. It was a talisman of forbiddance, one of extreme power.
Jin GuangYao walked over and lifted the curtain.
For a split second, Wei WuXian thought that he had been exposed. After the faint firelight made its way through the curtain, he found that he was enveloped in a shadow. A circular object just happened to be in front of him.
Jin GuangYao stood still, as though he was staring into the eyes of whatever was inside this shelf.
After a moment, he spoke, “Were you the one looking at me?"
Of course, there couldn’t be any response. He was silent for a while, then let down the curtain.
Wei WuXian quietly attached himself to the object. Cold and hard, it seemed to be a helmet. He then turned to the front. As he had expected, he saw a pallid face. The one who sealed the head wanted it to see nothing, hear nothing, speak nothing, and so incantations had been crowded onto the waxen skin. The eyes, the ears, and the mouth were all sealed tightly shut.
There's containment, it's suppressed to all hell and back, and JGY quite justifiably expects it to be murderously obsessed with him, but to me it doesn't suggest a reciprocal obsession—just more fear.
I'll also note that as a strategy for containing the information about his own involvement it's a very successful operation! It failed in the end /eventually/, but the failure needed:
someone who could successfully break into his private treasure room and escape without being caught
who could also perform Empathy or a similar tecnnique on NMJ's head and survive it
who could successfully recreate from memory the altered Empathy song
whom LXC would be willing to listen to
That's a heck of a tall order!
As to being done with NMJ after the stairs, well, listen to what he says to LXC:
Jin GuangYao spoke with dejection, “But, Brother, didn’t you hear what he said in the oath? Every sentence meant something more. ‘Face a thousand accusing fingers, be torn from limb to limb’—this was clearly a warning for me. I… I’ve never heard of such an oath before.”
[...]
Jin GuangYao, “It’s not that I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong, but that sometimes I really can’t help. Nowadays, I have it bad no matter which side I’m on. I have to ensure that I’m on everyone’s good sides. I wouldn’t care if it were someone else, but have I mistreated our eldest brother in any way? Brother, you heard as well. What did he call me?”
[...]
Jin GuangYao was almost sobbing, “If he could say such a thing when he was angry, then just how does he think of me on a daily basis? Is it that because I couldn’t choose my background, because my mother couldn’t choose her fate, I’ll have to be humiliated by others throughout my whole life? If so, then how is Brother different from the people who look down on me? No matter what I do, in the end, just a sentence and I’m ‘the son of a prostitute’.”
And then of course there's what he says to LXC, in his speech to him at the end: "You, on the other hand, ZeWu-Jun, Sect Leader Lan, are as intolerant of me as Nie MingJue—you refuse to spare me even a single breath of life!"
So—wow, this got very long—I don't ship them, and although I think they have very much mattered emotionally to each other, I don't really see them as ever having been in love with or attracted to each other.
A couple of end notes:
In MDZS, NMJ isn't the first (non-MS) person who recognizes MY's worth, although he is the first person to promote him; by the time NMJ promotes MY MY has already met, rescued, and exchanged intimate confidences with LXC, who respects him greatly and thinks he is highly talented (see again the conversation in Hejian which NMJ overhears/eavedrops on).
I've seen people talk about them not understanding each other, but while NMJ certainly doesn't understand JGY, it's not at all obvious that the reverse is true; he generally seems to understand him pretty well. I think he has two surprises overall: first, that he wasn't expecting NMJ to say he didn't promote MY so MY would owe him, and volunteer to send him to his father with a letter of recommendation—and second, he wasn't expecting NMJ, who for all his flaws did seem to ignore JGY's background in good ways as well as bad, to call him the son of a prostitute.
I definitely don't read the coffin at the end as romantic. Or I mean, uh, there's the romance of an obsessive stalker-murderer finally getting his victim, and that's not nothing (unironically; look, I'm a Hannibal fan), but I don't think it's usually what people mean. This is a shitty end for JGY, part of how thoroughly he loses and is destroyed. I think to some extent it might be that he doesn't want LXC to be the one who killed him, and to some extent it's an act of defiance—now that he has nothing to lose, not even his life, he's going to go out fighting. I would expand on this but this post is ridiculously long and I have way too many quotes, maybe I'll do it in a separate post later on—but if you look at the description of it in the text, plus the subsequent description of it in the coffin...yeah. JGY didn't want to die, he didn't want to be engaged in a mutually destructive thing with NMJ; he wanted to leave NMJ behind in the past, and move on. It's not, for him any kind of fulfillment, is my read.
All quotes are taken from the Exiled Rebels translation: ch 48-50 for everything about NMJ and JGY's past relationship, ch. 47 for the description of JGY's containment measures for NMJ's head, and ch. 106-108 for the quotes about JGY's fear of NMJ's fierce corpse. The description of JGY going into the coffin is at the end of 108 if you want to have a look, and there's more in 109 and 110 about the difficulty of sealing NMJ's fierce corpse/its power and violence.
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misterbitches · 2 years
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re: this post
my clear learning issues (adhd and dyspraxia) really impair my ability to write briefly and consistently in thought. there's so many mistakes but i don't spend time really editing it because i graduated college 9 years ago and then went to film school lol so i only write scripts (well) and attempt prose/writing (not well). i'm not an academic and what i know is large but nothing at all; i'm a bit of a dilettante on a constant effort to improve and fix it lmao
i'm not going to apologize for my learning issues and its translation on the page or my frequent and long absences in between thoughts because it's whatever suits my fancy. i feel like i always say this for the few who stumble across my stuff but it's just so embarrassing honestly and it's a bit of a shameful thing for me since art and thought are what i love.
i did, however, want to add that i wrote the original post for the sole purpose of critiquing the term 'black' in a media and society context and its invoked criminality/badness in regards to embodied blackness especially in a show that attempts anti-establishment. i posit this with a very specific history of the anarcho black cat from an iconic union i'm a member of. because of that (and capitalism's terror) it is evident that the show isn't defining/using the term in the way that the union (and anarchists or anarcho-adjacent*) does.
i suggest reading the post to extra clarify it doesn't mean that the show itself is a hate crime against my race but how the goal of the show clashes with this particular metaphor outside of the context i give. if you believe this to be insulting and underestimating to the intelligence of the production, i ask: how would you feel if you saw/heard your race being synonymous with darkness and badness. and unfortunately i know that it is not to be used with the anarcho context i give. i just mean that as artists they(/we) have to stop determining badness from the word black in metaphors and the way we speak. it's lazy creativity and writing and an EXTREMELY easy way of character propelling just like 'mal 'as a prefix but this one has constant consequences that persistently reinforce antiblackness in society and particularly in one that is more homogenous and absolutely prey to negrophobia/anti-blackness.
frankly i am jarred whenever i hear 'black [x]' to mean bad. i'm used to anti-blackness especially from asia but i have never encountered hearing that until i consumed more asian media and that is exactly why i largely stopped. in fact i have never seen more colorism and i'm fucking nigerian-american and we love that shit.
that being said since i have to end on a good note...i think that the show is ambitious and it is very interesting that this company chose to greenlight it if the words of others are to be believed! which excites me because honestly even if it doesnt mean much it's still cool and fun to see. exciting to see what people want to get away with—i admire the fuck out of that cos that's attempting transgressive media baby. but my point about the name stands.
another addendum: PA is bad and terrible (i mean it's america so...) but ben fletcher is cool as fuck
*we all want liberation on the left so the terms are mostly arbitrary but there's some deep history of groups fighting against each other on the left and the black flag is specifically anarchist; there's the bisected red/black flag for anarcho-communism which is how i identify—though i believe these terms to be confining and mostly (not always) arbitrary—if someone asks just for ease
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