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solasan · 4 years

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so often i can think of you only with teeth clenched

adam du mortain/detective (june lovelace), this is like 2k of pwp theres no plot here uhhh mutual masturbation (kinda ????), accidental voyeurism, dirty talk bcos june’s filthy, i think thats everything

He didn’t realise, not at first.

Adam had spent most of the night doing what he always did when sleep evaded him; running himself ragged in the gym facilities, both in the hope it might knock him off his feet and keep him on them for many more hours to come. He’d been at it for long enough that even his hardier muscles had started to ache; Farah said he was pig-headed in that way, but he much preferred to think of himself as focused. Determined. Solid.

He passed June’s room on his way back to his own, as he always did — not to check on her, of course; it was just the quickest route — and made sure to quiet his steps near her door, as he always did.

June did not sleep enough. She wore bruised bags under her eyes now at all times, and there was something constantly disheveled about her these days; as though the woman she’d been before Murphy had been twisted just slightly off-centre and left to wander, blind and lost, without quite knowing why.

Under her baggy hoodies and oversized tees, she seemed… thinner, somehow. Smaller. She was already practically miniscule, of course, so he shouldn’t have noticed, and— and he hardly had any business noticing the nature of her body either, but somehow it seemed impossible to miss, as though she were screaming inside and it were all he could hear.

Ridiculous, of course. And he would have put it from his mind, ignored the blatant signs of trauma clinging to her birdlike bones, however—

She was part of the team now. She was part of the team now, and so such sleep deprivation was— unfortunate. Indeed, it knotted something up in Adam’s chest whenever he considered it; exhausted as she no doubt was, she could hardly perform at her best, and if there was one weak link in the team, all of them would come crashing down.

Preoccupied with such thoughts, when he heard it — ‘it’ being a soft whimper from beyond June’s door, barely audible were it not for the silence in the hallway — he assumed she was having a nightmare. It would make sense, after all; she’d never spoken of her dreams to him, or, as far as he could tell, to anyone else, but she slept so little, and she’d already demonstrated a tendency to wandering the Warehouse at night.

Without quite knowing why, Adam found himself stopping before her door, head turned as though he could stare through it if he tried hard enough. Was she alright?

Another low, hoarse whimper, and this time, something in the general vicinity of his ribs gave an awful tug.

What should he do? She had come to him before, when she couldn’t sleep. Should he wait for her to do so again?

But that was ridiculous. Laughable. Why would he need to do anything?

Her voice caught on a word — did she sleep-talk? — just barely inaudible to his enhanced hearing, and he frowned, shifting closer to the door so he might hear better. If she spoke, perhaps he might learn the precise nature of her nightmares. Perhaps… perhaps he might help.

“Adam,” he heard, light and breathy, and he frowned, something simultaneously soft and sharp unfurling under his sternum at the sound.

Was she dreaming of him? Were they… were they good dreams? Or were they nightmares in truth, all bloody fangs and copper agony?

“Adam,” June sighed again. “Fuck…”

He was in danger of cracking his skull against her door now, but still, he shifted closer.

And that was when he heard it.

Under her breathing, under her words, under those barely-there whimpers: a slick, sliding sound.

He stilled. Was she—?

“Fuck, Adam, just like that, fuck, please—”

Adam stumbled back from the door, all limbs, like a defenceless idiot, but now that he’d heard her, he couldn’t stop.

That wet noise had settled into a rhythm, steady and slow, and with every loooong squelch came a moan, low and muffled, as though she were holding something over her mouth. Her hand, maybe? Was— was she using both of her hands?

Merde, what was she doing?

The bedframe creaked, just slightly, and then she moaned again, growling under her breath, and God above if that wasn’t one of the most fantastic sounds he’d ever heard. Rough and low, throaty, like it’d been ripped out of her against her will.

“Adam,” she groaned, still so quiet, the sound of her— pleasuring herself picking up speed. “Shit, shit, that’s so goo— so good, Adam, please, fuck, please.”

He bit back a moan of his own, and it was only then that he became aware of the shivering heat running down his spine, the thick arousal pooling in his belly and stiffening his cock.

He— he had to go, this was a bad idea, he had to move, what was he doing—

By God, she sounded so wet. What was she imagining? She— him, apparently, and he couldn’t bear to examine the primal pride that swelled in him at the thought, but— but specifically? What fantasy was playing out in her mind?

He swallowed thickly, palming himself through his sweatpants and holding his breath so that he couldn’t miss a single creak, a single whimper, a single thrust.

And thank God for that, because the bedframe squeaked again, and then suddenly that deliciously wet sound was louder.

“F— faster, Adam, fuck,” June gasped, her breaths coming in harsh, hushed pants. “Need you to— f-fucking faster, oh my God, please.”

Please, he thought, feeling his cock throb in his palm even through his pants. I have never heard her so polite in all the time I’ve known her.

He’d never heard her beg, either, always thought her too proud for that, but as the slick sound of her— God, of her fucking herself built into a faster and faster rhythm, that was what she was doing.

“I’m— hng, fuck, m’close, Adam please, please can I come, I’ll— I’ll be good, I’ll be so good, just please, please, please—”

Yes, and somewhere along the line he’d slipped his hand under his waistband and wrapped his fingers around his length and started to stroke, as he so rarely did these days, come for me, June, be a good girl and come for me, yes, go on, go on—

Her cry of release was muffled, like she’d thrown a hand over her mouth to stifle it, and for a split-second he felt entirely robbed. I didn’t tell you to be quiet, Adam thought, eyes slipping shut as he swiped a drop of pre-come from his tip and picked up speed. I didn’t tell you—

Anything. He hadn’t told her anything. Because he was stood outside her bedroom door, fondling himself to the sound of her getting herself off, and she was his colleague and she was June and he was still pumping his cock, and what was he doing?

He snapped his hand out of his pants as though it had burned him, staring at his glistening palm with both shock and a burning shame,

In June’s room, something thumped. And then— no! She was walking towards the door.

Within a blink, he was racing down the hall at top speed, ears burning, his length bobbing from side-to-side with each step, and how foolish was he? What sort of a child had he just proven himself, fumbling desperately for pleasure just because he’d heard a few little sounds?

As he got into his own bedroom, he shook his head. What a fool. That was— this had been a massive lapse in his control. An unforgivable one, really. What had he been thinking? And— and why J— Detective Lovelace, why was it she who had stoked this aching heat deep in his gut when none other had in… in centuries?

Adam swallowed, dragging a hand through his hair. It wouldn’t happen again. June— this would prove to be some misunderstanding. She knew another Adam, perhaps — though for some reason, the thought had something clawed and many-fingered stirring in his chest — or… or he’d imagined it. There was no way.

And he was still hard, cock standing proud and erect, making a tent in his sweatpants that he tried valiantly to ignore.

It will go away, he told himself.

Any minute now, he thought again, some measurement of heartbeats later.

It will—

Except he could still hear June’s moans ringing in his ears, low and soft and divine, and when he shut his eyes he found himself imagining what she might have looked like, how she might have tasted and felt and smelled.

He’d helped the Agency decorate her room. For the sake of preciseness, of course; the aim had been to replicate her apartment on small-scale, and no one had known it better than his team.

He inhaled slowly.

It wasn’t going away.

Fine. Fine. He could— it— if he couldn’t make it go away like that, he could just… take care of it. Like scratching an itch, or feeding. It was a need he could manage and then forget about.

Perfunctory. Quick. With a low growl, he slipped his hand down into his pants, stuffed his fist into his mouth, and used the still-gathering pre-come at his tip to slick up his strokes.

But what had begun as a simple, impersonal movement quickly became something else.

In his mind’s eye, he could see her stretched out across the starry bedsheets he’d chosen, her legs splayed, fingers scissoring herself open for him. Perhaps her other hand had been grasping at those beautiful breasts he’d been trying so hard not to notice, pinching one of her nipples — it would be pink, he thought, pink and pale like that perfect mouth of hers, pebbled under her touch — and whimpering when she pulled particularly hard.

Merde, those whimpers. His strokes picked up speed, hearing once more the sounds she’d been making as she fucked herself to completion, the perfect, perfect way she’d begged.

He thought of how her head might have fallen back, that plush little mouth opening to gasp out his name — his name, he remembered, and no one else’s, his hand going clumsy at the thought — as her hand twisted to play with her clit.

Would penetration be enough for her? Or would he have to toy with her too, stroking circles into her folds as he fucked her?

He positively shuddered at that, the idea of touching her the way that she’d been touching herself sending a wave of heat down through his belly and driving his teeth deep enough into his knuckles to draw blood.

So wet, he recalled, starting to jerk himself again. She’d been so wet.

Her head back, she would’ve been a sight. Those perky little breasts of hers heaving with every breath, shuddering as she mewled, and her neck, merde, her neck. Open and bared for biting, practically begging for it, fuck—

But maybe not. Perhaps she’d been on her knees, upright and riding her hand below her, the fingers of her other hand leaving a glistening path behind as they slid from her clit to play with her nipples.

Or— or perhaps she’d been on all fours, her back arched, one of her hands — fuck, that felt good — splayed over that shapely backside of hers, digits slipping slowly in and out of herself. Her cunt drooling for him, hips twitching and arching and bucking, her mouth buried in the meat of her bicep to muffle her moans…

“Fuck,” he hissed, twisting his fist on its way up to his tip, because wasn’t that a thought.

And it shouldn’t have been, it shouldn’t have been anything at all, but suddenly all he could think about was the slick sound of her sex and the idea of her teeth, clamped down hard on her own skin, and merde, merde, it surely hadn’t always felt this good, the heat zipping down his spine and through his pelvis shouldn’t have been this good, but he could feel his whole body tightening and hot seed spilling over his palm and—

And June. Fuck, June.

#truly this is filthy pls dont judge me too harshly #mishka if u see this......... walk away please #im a lesbian who hasnt touched a dick in a couple years too so like............ who knows whats going on in adam's pants frankly #my writing #ch: june lovelace #nsft /

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alarriefantasy · 5 years

Note

Hello sweetie, I hope you had a great day ! ❤ My fic request for you is a bit dark so don't feel forced to respond to it, I would totally understand if it made you uncomfortable But do you know any self-harm fics ? Thank you x

It does not make me feel uncomfortable one bit!! :) :) Here you go!! :) :)

Self - Harm Fic Rec

a plea for you to come home by tworoads

Words: 2k

AU. harry hasn’t seen louis in three years, and the red faced young man behind the counter looks stressed out, cocoa powder lightly dusting his cheek, and barely resembles the silly boy that harry used to crowd into empty bedrooms at parties in manchester.

be my once in a lifetime by HappyPrincess

Words: 11k

Just like there are only four other people who will ever understand what it’s like growing up in One Direction, there’s only one other person who knows what it’s like to find your soulmate just before you’re thrown into the spotlight and forced to acknowledge that the both of you have too many flaws and vices to make it through fame together.

Or: It's all about having sex and being sad. And drunk.

Tell Me A Lie by Soullesscreature

Words: 15k

Harry used to self-harm, but he promised himself that if he won the x factor, he would stop. They didn't win, but they got a contract, they became famous and Harry is living the dream and he should be one of the happiest people on earth.

But it's pretty hard to be happy when your crush/best mate is ignoring you. Harry has been slowly buckling under the pressure that's being pushed onto him and now all he can think about is the many razors that are practically calling him from the bathroom.

I Promise I’ll Be Better by Austinattack

Words: 26k

Diner AU. Harry works the late shift at Oliver’s Diner. He meets Louis, who only ever orders coffee at one AM. Louis has shaky hands and bruised wrists and Harry wants to know why. Harry invites Louis home with him one night, when Louis implies he has no where to go. Harry wants to know everything about Louis. Louis doesn’t know if he’s willing to share anything at all.

In plain sight by revise

Words: 46k

Or the one where Louis takes everything too seriously, Harry falls in love (even though he may not want to), Liam and Zayn are trying to help everyone, and Niall is a bit overprotective.

Green Doe Eyes by Snowy38

Words: 51k

“Can I fix you?” Louis asked as Harry looked over at him, eyes wet and red, tip of his nose pink and cute. He licked his plush lips and nodded.

Louis let out a thankful sigh and reached for Harry’s hand, ignoring the way Harry flinched when they touched.

He stripped off the useless bandage and winced at the re-opened wounds. He noticed the blood under Harry’s fingernails and realised he’d scratched at them until they bled.

“Harry…” He whispered, tears coming to his own eyes as he felt Harry tremble under his touch, eyes averted shamefully as he swallowed his tears away determinedly. “No, don’t be scared, it’s okay,” Louis assured. “I’m not going to judge you…I just need to protect you,” he explained.

Always In My Heart by bluehairedbaby

Words: 58k

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Five years is a long time to be apart from one's soulmate.

Everyone tells him to move on, but Louis isn't ready to let go.

Breathe Me by eternalxrry

Words: 69k

Omega Louis thinks he’s worthless, after being told thousands of times a day, he finally starts to believe the bullies. But no one is there to protect him, until Harry and his pack move to Louis’ hometown. Will Harry protect Louis? Or is it all too good to be true.

I hear you calling in the dead of night by Thelonelycoast

Words: 72k

No one really notices Marcel Styles. In fact, Marcel’s so invisible that if his teachers don’t call on him in lessons - and they rarely do - Marcel can go whole days without speaking to anyone other than his mum, his sister, Gemma, his cat, Dusty and the school librarian, Alma. And if he just so happens to have a tiny, miniscule crush on the footie captain, Louis Tomlinson, well, that’s no one’s business but his own. Until Louis notices him back…

Pour Your Heart Out by hrrytomlinson

Words: 92k

Louis is his soulmate. Or at least Harry thinks he is. Louis feels the same as Louis. But there are a lot of people named Louis in the world and this Louis might not be the Louis. It’s besides the point though, because Harry knows he can’t allow himself to get close to any boys. He just can’t and he’s told himself this multiple times. He has to simply stay away from Louis Tomlinson. But he can’t. Harry Styles can never stay away from Louis Tomlinson. It’s physically impossible for him to.

Take me down with you by harrystylesandstuff

Words: 107k

AU where Louis tries to kill himself multiple times but he’s not very good at it, Harry keeps showing up out of nowhere, and maybe life isn’t as bad as it looks sometimes.

The Healing Song by 2204

Words: 111k

Or where Louis is a single father of two, suffering from PTSD, and Harry is there providing soulmatey and loving support while he heals the wounds of past abuse

Baby Heaven’s in your Eyes by theboyfriendstagram

Words: 120k

Or a sixth form!AU where Harry is the fucked up bad boy with too many problems, Louis is the perfect rich boy with too much money and their schools are right across from each other. They meet at a party and that’s the last (and maybe the only) thing they need.

Lights Will Guide You Home by Cafelesbian

Words: 137k

Louis Tomlinson is his school’s resident bad boy and easily the most liked person there. He’s loud and confident and popular. He spends most of his time abusing his parent’s money or partying or playing football. He also spends a good deal of it obsessing over the quiet curly boy in his English class, but no one really needs to know that.

Harry Styles is more or less invisible at the same school (unless he’s being harassed). He’s shy and painfully insecure and quiet. He spends most of his time crying on his bedroom floor with a razor pressed against his skin or trying (and failing) to think of reasons to stay alive.

So, of course, it’s inevitable that they fall for each other.

Birds in Gilded Cages by graveyardwitch

Words: 157k

There is a hotel in London where beautiful young men and women are kept like birds in a gilded cage, prisoners bound to satisfy your deepest darkest desires….

After being kidnapped as a teenager, Harry Styles was forced into high-class prostitution by the evil Mr Cowell. Louis Tomlinson is heir to his father’s corporation, set to inherit millions…But engaged to a woman he doesn’t love and deeply unhappy. When they meet at a party sparks fly and they embark on a passionate and dangerous relationship…But can it ever be true love when one of you is being paid? And can Louis ever rescue Harry from The Bird Cage Hotel?

Don't Let It (Me) Break by falsegoodnight

Words: 168k

Or the one where Harry is oblivious, Louis is broken, Zayn and Liam are in love, Gemma and Lottie are lovely, and Niall is just waiting for everyone to get their shit together.

Oh, and it's all Malcolm's fault

A Love Like War by sincewewereeighteen

Words: 173k

Or: the one in which Louis Tomlinson is a cliched rock star, he’s got everything except for love. But then he meets Harry Styles; the man that, against all odds, saves him in every way a person can be saved, even when Louis didn’t know he needed saving in the first place.

Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12

Words: 208k

Harry’s new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

All Tired Talk by orphan_account

Words: 268k

In which Harry is the dying front man of a dying rock band, Zayn has finally given up holding his hair back in dingy bathrooms, Niall and Liam are holding up the fort, and Louis comes along with eyes the color of the sky to remind Harry that there is still more life to live.

Take me to Church by wickedarcher_08

Words: 414k

Louis is the new kid at school in Bible Belt, USA, who is fascinated by the quiet kid that seems to be an outcast. It takes everything in his arsenal to break the walls of Harry Styles down. Harry has a troubled past that has lead him to go against everything Louis thought he believed. Louis sees something brokenly beautiful in Harry, and Harry finds the stability he has longed for in Louis. After many conversations, Louis makes a confession that could cost them everything.

♡ credit to the owner of the manip

♡ past themed recs here

♡ updated 7.17.20

#ask

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