#why can’t i shut up ever?

[heartslobbf]

i dont knowww there’s just something about how both nanami and touga’s warnings to utena about entering the duel called revolution are essentially ‘you can’t trust end of the world or anthy’. and theyre both genuinely well intentioned about that because they do both care about utena’s wellbeing, even if someone (touga) is too misogynistic to go about that in a Normal way. but then you have juri, and all juri does when talking to utena about whether or not she’ll enter the final duel is ask ‘what are you going to do with anthy?’ and ‘you love her, don’t you?’ like. none of the stuco ever really recognise anthy’s personhood, none of them care about her, they dislike her. but juri sees how much utena feels for anthy and she says actually, maybe the way that you feel about her is important. and she tells her to do something about that (also!! anthy and shiori parallels, huge significance for juri’s character post-ruka etc etc). what im saying here is that juri is the only character other than utena to understand, or attempt to understand, what anthy means to utena, and why that relationship is important. there is no someday together without juri and that just makes me absolutely bonkers

#and you know (guy who only ever thinks about the kiryuu siblings) it’s hugely significant that nanami and touga can’t recognise #that anthy is a victim too. but whatever that’s another topic entirely #juri is just. sososososso incredibly important bc she makes utena question what her feelings are what they mean why they matter #and without that idk if someday together we’ll shine would happen. is all. and it makes me weepy :’) #lesbians i love you lesbians. GOD!!!!!!! #rgu #shut up daisy

[mumblesplash]

man i’ve had pretty serious art block before in the past but it was always more a lack of inspiration/irl stuff draining all my energy, currently Not having art block but getting hit by my first bout EVER of feeling like i just straight up can’t make anything that’s good enough and oh my god how do people deal with this

#i have zero mental defenses against this bc it’s never happened to me #like i know i’m being stupid here bc i feel like everything ive ever drawn is somehow worse than anything anyone else has ever drawn #which first of all cannot possibly be the case bc art is subjective and also i’m not that special #and second of all ‘this means i’m bad at everything’ is not a reaction i have EVER had to art i consider ‘better’ than mine #i’ve always just been excited by the opportunity to learn how to do a new cool art thing i couldn’t do before #like what is happening here why did my brain broke #on the bright side this doesn’t seem to be even slowing me down from writing and drawing things and posting them anyway #but i could really do without the accompanying dramatics in the back of my head #‘you can’t post this you are an affront to art history and the whole of humanity’ shut Up brain it’s literally minecraft fanart for fun #anyway all this to say. thank you everyone being nice in the notes of my silly lil poems you’re gonna make me cry #mumbling

[muttsandmustelidae]

machine that zaps me with 1 billion volts of electricity every time i try to open instagram reels

#i can’t fight the algorithm it’s just going to keep showing me shitty dog influencer takes forever #‘unpopular opinion but i don’t like doodles 😏🫢’ SHUT UP #‘i’d like to see you train THIS dog with positive reinforcement 😏 *normal ass german shepherd*’ STOP TALKING #‘here are 5 reasons why you’re the worst dog owner to ever exist’ LASERS SHOOTING LASERS AT YOU TIL YOURE DEAD

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

Corruption Leitner that turns you into a politician

#the magnus archives #tma #the corruption #haha. get it. because. politicians are corrupt. #haha. ha. y’all ever have those days where you feel like screaming but also can’t fathom the idea of making a sound ever again? #on the one hand i am going to fill my bones with soup. but on the other hand if i ever hear a noise again i will spontaneously combust #noises feel so intrusive sometimes fr. like get away from meeee why are you in my personal space. bitch ass sound waves. #i think it’s the adhd. like why are there sounds. shut up. i can’t hear my thoughts when you’re talking so loud you stupid sounds #i’m so fucking tired

[swordmaid]

anyway I really do like the idea that his darling spawn shri’iia who’s whole job is to adore him forever and an eternity becomes his very undoing bc he fails to account what that would mean to her. like baby girl you just validated each and every one of her flaws and ugly side just like she validated yours. now you’re stuck with that 🫶🥰🤭

#like the reverse uno card of her telling him to stay as he is forever bc he’s perfect that way… and his slow realisation that he can’t ever #change bc she won’t let him .. and the anger that will surface bc it’s another person controlling him but it’s disguised under LOVE ????? #but then he treats her like a pretty bauble that sits uselessly at the shelf. just there to love and adore him and look beautiful and love #him forever and forever … the realisation that she reverse uno card him and she sees HIM that way too #like yes he has power over her quite literally she’s his spawn but she doesn’t see him as someone to be feared #nope. in her eyes he’s there to be loved and adored and to be praised so why would he change perfection? she doesn’t understand that ..! #now they’re stuck with each other for eternity 🥰😭🤭 and she wouldn’t have it any other way lmfao #like if he was smarter about it maybe he could’ve utilised her the way the matriarch did but he’s not a details guy ok he’s not a planning #person.. and I think if he ascended he’ll just grow worse lol #shut up about bg3.

[spacexcowgirl]

a week ago I told maggie I was going to write an incubus regulus one shot, and today I have almost 4k written…anddd none of it is the smut yet :)

#why can’t I shut up ever !!! #this should be pwp what am I doing !!! #just ​sexy lil reg crawling into james dreams #making all his fantasies come true #instead i’m talking about LORE and PLOT #gross #mags tag <3

[screwderia]

i HATE when one of the boys does better than the other and everyone comes out to say that the one that did worse is washed I’M TIRED PLEASE

#like cmon wtf why does it invalidate the talent of the other driver #please everyone is so annoying. you can’t be happy for neither ever im really pissed off #charles did really good if it wasn’t for the fucking pit stop je would’ve been on the podium SHUT UP #*he #i hate twitter

[guiltandrecourse]

a crisp 1/3 of the first chapter of this fic . god help me

#its lark/grant yippee #how is it still this bare bones after MONTHS? #the writing fairy didnt write my fic for me blame her #ive been working on this stupid fuckin (affectionate) series since december #started with the last fic bc i am very intelligent and im halfway thru and it is 10k already #will i ever shut the fuck up #but im like. i should write it all before i post but i fear we will be in limbo until the end of time #and like i forgot that doing a masters degree is actually really time consuming and hard #shocked and appalled #n e way i will stop yapping now #u see why all the fics r so needlessly long i just can’t stop talking fjfkfk #postsandrecourse

[brookheimer]

There's something else about Roman I've always noticed. Well, twice in Season 3. In episode 2 he says ironically the siblings are 20 something transgender dreamers, as in "we're obviously older cisgender non-dreamers", not touching upon their sexualities, and in episode 6 he says to Shiv when they arrive in the ultraconservative political conference that she'll soon get "white cis male stank all over you", not mentioning sexuality either. Like, if at least HE is present, gayness is assured, that's how I've always read it lol

yeah! i don’t think it’s, like, proof of anything like in my mind it’s less that gayness is assured if he’s there and more that jesse is deliberately leaving that part open-ended for all the siblings given that thus far all of them (barring connor i think) have had some pretty questionable same-sex interactions/other certain implications i must say. like idk i definitely don’t think roman would refer to himself as gay right now or maybe ever — i don’t think he’d refer to himself as any sexuality bc he doesn’t even know what’s going there, and until he undergoes a fuckton of therapy and unimaginable healing, i don’t think he’ll get there. personally i’m less in the gay roman camp than the ??????????roman camp like i honestly don’t think this man feels sexual attraction to people, but i don’t quite think he’s asexual either. i think he does feel sexual desire but not for specific people, more just generally or in relation to a power dynamic or a feeling more than anything else. but i do not think he ever looks at someone and goes “whew. they’re hot.” — i think he’s trained himself to bc he knows he’s supposed to, but innate attraction is something he’s never been able to comprehend. he’s never attracted to people so much as he is the relationship they have with him or the way that they view him. i think a lot of it depends too on whether you think he’s a victim of CSA or not which personally is a coin flip for me tbh — definitely possible, but i don’t think it’s the only explanation. he’s definitely too traumatized for intimacy but i don’t think that trauma necessarily has to be CSA, bc a lot of the shit we canonically know ab his childhood really adds up with his behavior in the present

sorry this got way outta control lol just thinking thoughts living life xx

#soooo many thoughts on roman’s sexuality and how for him it is inextricably tied to his sense of abnormality. that’s why it can’t be #gay or bi or straight — even being gay or bi is still a THING . like there’s a name for that. but w roman i think he fits into absolutely no #categories or labels. like it goes way beyond sexuality. he thinks there’s something fundamentally wrong with him like in his brain or his #dick or something that has crossed his pleasure sexuality etc receptors and made them go haywire. like he thinks there’s something so wrong #w him that there isn’t even a name for it that he’s the only one to ever experience it. like yes so much of roman comes back to love but i #think an equal amount of him comes back to abnormality too — his desperation to be normal and his deeply internalized sureness that he isn’t #like idk man. i just think if hr was something that was easily identifiable jed have a lot less issues. if he’s any distinct sexuality i’d #say asexual bc it’s the most Wrong in the roy family like even worse than homosexuality bc at least there you have sex. and all this family #knows how to do is talk about sex — literally every single situation is spoken about solely thru the language of fucking #but really i think it’s way too complicated to call it anything in particular bc so much of it has gotten confused by trauma #LOL sorry for ramble #asks #anon #succession #TW SA #casey shut the fuck up about roman roy #roman roy

[rosicheeks]

🌈

#I really don’t remember the last time I saw a rainbow #but I’ve seen 3 different rainbows at different times in the past two days #and the first one I saw was a full double rainbow 🌈 #I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those in person before #I feel like the universe or higher power or whatever is telling me that I’m on the right path #I’m doing so much hard work #but I think it’s going to be worth it #I’ll post the double rainbow pics soon 🌈🌈 #I saw that yesterday and I still can’t believe it #I was really really tempted on laying down and taking a nap #but I was able to push myself out of bed and started walking to my car to chill #I walked outside and looked over and saw one of my neighbors down the street holding up their phone and taking a picture #I was so fucking confused #I thought they were taking a picture of a house or something #but then I looked over and I was like OH that’s fucking why #and i joined them in taking pictures 😂🥰🌈 #I just can’t believe the timing tbh #like if I would have left a little bit later or if I would have taken that nap #I wouldn’t have seen it #and today I’ve seen two different rainbows #one earlier today #and one right now #just chilling in the rain watching the rainbow disappear and then reappear #shut up rosie

[godblooded]

tfw i have heard ‘kat could talk to a wall’ my entire life and it sucks when sometimes it genuinely feels like an insult.

#ooc. o kaptain. #[if you ever wanna know how I feel it’s just… why can’t you shut the fuck up kat. like. I can talk to anyone about anything but genuinely it #is so isolating to feel…. so fucking annoying because I’m excitable and creative. #and yes I know I can get carried away. which is something I’ve stopped doing because… no one ever wants to match my enthusiasm. and this #isn’t about anything or anyone in particular I’m just being me and having immense rsd. idk. the problem is I just. feel. like a pain in the #ass. ah. kat who never shuts the fuck up because she has thirty thousand thoughts about dumb shit and she needs to dump it somewhere. and #the problem is by this point I don’t even feel like I want to vent. because it feels purposeless. even that makes me feel like I’m being an #inconvenience. I wish I wasn’t a fucking worthless type of introvert who loves company but very specifically. I mask so hard people #literally don’t think I have ENORMOUS social anxiety. I just… feel very alone and very sad and very much like I wish I was anyone else. #because if you think you want me to shut the fuck up you can’t imagine how badly -I- want me to shut the fuck up.] #negativity /

[alwritey-aphrodite]

Guys if I was pretty I would just be too unstoppable, the universe needed to humble me a little

#ughhhhhhh why doesn’t my brain ever just shut the fuck up like why can’t I just enjoy my night #also how do people take pictures of themselves???? I’m honestly asking because I hate every picture I’ve ever taken of myself and I just #think I’m doing something wrong… like my face doesn’t look right

[dawningfairytale]

currently fascinated with the concept of unrequited blackrose as per usual

#rtc #ride the cyclone #blackrose rtc #blackrose #also to be clear i am not villainising anyone who has unrequited feelings or is unable/unwilling to reciprocate unrequited feelings #i mostly think of it in a constance -> ocean way but ocean could have unrequited feelings for constance #i think either way the feelings-haver would feel so guilty. this is her friend and she’s corrupted it with stupid romantic desires #constance would bury it down deep. she knows ocean has no interest in relationships. she listens to all her words and remembers each one #and yeah ‘the truth sets you free’ but not if it traps the person you love #who is loving you back in every way they can #it’s so personal to me actually #if oceans having the feelings she tries to breeze past it. forget that thé thought ever came across her mind #but she cant. every look that constance gives. every smile that lets her personality shine through. every laugh that lights up her heart. #makes ocean think of holding her and kissing her and being her strongest defence from the cruel world. #but she can’t. #ocean has heard constance’s rants on the idea of settling down and how much romantic love is pushed #and she doesn’t disagree. far from it. that’s why she knows - for once - to shut up and let constance’s feelings dictate the duo’s actions #either way they stay friends. of course they do. and one never reveals the stupid crush she had on the other. because that would crush her #again! not villainising those who can’t/won’t reciprocate feelings. just looking at the guilt and confusion that comes from loving someon #e who can’t return it and what constance and ocean would do in such a situation #you’d think i’d be able to get over her more easily. wouldn’t you.

[milo-is-rambling]

Omg yesterday at my moms therapy I said how well I had been doing and feeling like I can actually handle life and my mom was immediately like “that’s because you’ve been taking your meds regularly again” and like completely brushed off any progress I had actually made and I had to be like yeah totally that’s it that’s why exactly when I haven’t taken my meds for a week straight in idk how long

#I was like yup totally that sure is why I’ve been feeling good totally #not at all that I’ve been spending time to do things I like and journal and process my feelings in healthy ways or that I am consciously #making strides towards regular person sanity #and she fucking brought up adhd meds again like FUCK OFFFFFFF HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY I DONT WANT TO TAKE THEM BEFORE IT CLICKS #I. DONT. WANT. TO. TAKE. THEM. they are a tool in MY mental health toolbox bitch back off my toolbox I know you fucking live adhd meds and #won’t shut up about them but I am happy now and I don’t like my brain on adhd meds and the only reason you want me on them is because you #like me more when I’m doing stereotypically productive tasks so you’d rather have me cleaning the house and not doing the shit I love than #you would have me not taking my meds and making art and writing poetry #like god #she just doesn’t fucking get it #I cannot create when I take adhd meds. that part of my brain just like dissolves. #the way I work is that constantly I have a million projects on the back burner in my mind and when I get inspired I make one #when I take my adhd meds I can’t just pick up a fun project I don’t get those ideas I can’t write poetry I can’t make art it’s like it sever #severs the line between my creative mind and my regular mind and I have nothing in my life that I need to be THAT focused on right now #but I have my perscruption still! like if I ever need it it’s there but that’s not your fucking decision that’s mine and you need to back #off my brain because it is a delicate fucking ecosystem up there in my head and I’m not going to fuck with anything until I have to #god. sorry. went on a bit of a rant. I am just so sick of arguing over my mom wanting to control the way I medicate myself. I am an adult #and she is not inside my brain so she needs to listen when I tell her how things affect me #she takes adhd meds like twice every day and hates the feeling of not being on them but I just don’t like them and she won’t fucking drop it #okay I am getting mad about adhd meds and my mother right before I have to be in the car with her all morning i need to relax #we’re going to psychic we’re gonna have fun #we’re not going to argue about this again.

[pepprs]

STILL wide awake! i did not put down my phone! and now im hungry. so i will not be sleeping tonight ♥️

#purrs #also… im gonna admit it. ive been up for hours cleaning out… my toyhouse accounts. not cleaning them out but cleaning them up. and im so #FUCKING mad at my 18 year old self for giving away characters that meant so much to me to 12 year olds on warriors amino who never finished #their half of the art trade… and now so many of them are like. completely out of my reach and i can never get them back. im trying to ask #for the characters ive been able to find and track them down. which for ppl who actually love and care for them im sure is predatory and #annoying bc it’s like ok you made that choice so live with it. but im so fucking mad at myself and i wish i could undo it. i know it doesn’t #matter bc i don’t do that kind of deviantart stuff anymore but like.. i gave away characters who were so special to me growing up and now so #many of them are like.. on locked / unauthorized toyhouses or deleted or the person already owns them and is never trading them and #imjust so SAD!!!!!! over pixels i know. PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER over pixels. but im so saddddd aughhhhh #delete later #(i also did clean out photos and do practice drivers tests btw. but ive mostly been doing toyhouse stuff) #also im so sad and angry charahub went down and i didn’t even know it and i can’t access my data at allll like so much precious info #on there is gone forever. pain and suffering. also it’s worth naming im not in this to like have the best most expensive whatever designs im #doing this bc i desperately want to salvage every piece of my childhood / adolescence and never let go of anything in my life ever and when #i was 18 i thought i could run away from deeply permanently hurting and betraying a friend by selling all of my characters starting w the #ones they made me and then branching off into baiscally all of them to not make it look like it was just abt them bc i couldn’t bear to be #reminded of what i had done. and now i live with the consequences. in more ways than just the characters obviously. so there’s that #(i had my reasons for doing what i had to do btw. but i will never stop feeling guilty about it or regretting how it must have felt for them #bc we were like best friends and then i turned cold and awful because i didn’t know how to communicate my needs so instead i just shut them #out and didn’t even have the decency to explain why. and it fucking sucked that i did that. lol) #* ​and still sucks. and i think abt it all the time and try not to talk about it for a lot of reasons but here i am so. lol

[landoncrris]

i absolutely hate how much these german reporters are bullying nyck right now like 😄 leave the man alone please

#like why do they feel the need to tell everyone in detail rn how it was a wrong decision to ever thinking that nyck could find his place in #f1 shut up pls ❤️ #they’re literally downtalking his whole career so much rn it’s so disrespectful i can’t even