#withering blissfully: the collab | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yeongwonie · 2 years

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HABIT (l.hs)

; after heeseung and his ex-girlfriend, minju, break up, you're left picking up the pieces. (four times you held onto heeseung, and the one time you let him go.)

pairing lee heeseung x gn!reader

genre angst, fluff if you squint, pining, arguably happy ending?, slice of life

warnings alcohol, horror movies

word count 2.5k

note my part of sai @coffeewon and cael @chiyuv's withering blissfully collab! i hope you enjoy but also i hope it breaks ur heart ^^ the narration style feels a bit different from how i usually write but i hope it's still enjoyable haha

listen habit by seventeen, opening by jo yuri

11:35 PM, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea

Heeseung is slumped over on your threadbare couch, hugging your only throw pillow to his chest, when he tells you he loves you.

It isn’t the first time you’ve exchanged words of affection with your best friend, but hearing “I love you” is different from an offhand abbreviation or casual “love you”. As he says it, he’s staring straight at you, so intently you can picture his eyes glimmering in the dim lighting seeping in from your kitchen. His cheeks are flushed and his speech is slurred, but you want so badly to believe him.

“I love you too, Heeseung,” you smile softly, and just for a moment, you let yourself pretend that both of you mean it in the same way.

And suddenly, your apartment is unbelievably humid, so you stand and shuffle into the kitchen to drink some water. On the way, you check the temperature on the thermostat, then frown.

You fill a glass, and it feels cool to the touch. You lift your hand slightly damp with condensation to rest against your forehead. In contrast, your forehead is warm and feverish. There’s no alcohol in your bloodstream, but your ears still feel as though they’re stuffed with cotton, and your head is still reeling. In the silence of the room, with no noise but the refrigerator and the shuffling of fabric from down the hallway, your heartbeat seems deafening as it pounds in your ears.

Usually, you’d never agree to go out with Heeseung, memories filled with too many instances of you having to carry his full body weight onto the bus, one arm slung over your shoulders. Around three or four drinks in, he’s inebriated beyond belief without fail, muttering under his breath and stumbling down the sidewalk. Today, however, you’d felt an obligation.

Today is the one-month anniversary of the day Heeseung and Minju’s breakup. He tells you it doesn’t affect him anymore. You want to believe this, too.

For good measure, you grab a tablet of ibuprofen for him, knowing he likely has a headache forming that you’ll hear complaints about for the entirety of the next day. Then, you take one yourself.

When you return to your couch, Heeseung’s curled even further into himself, hair hanging over his eyes. After leaning forward a little and brushing a few of the strands away with cautious fingers, you confirm that he’s asleep. A puff of air leaves your mouth in resignation.

“Come on,” you say, keeping your voice low. “You’re gonna whine at me tomorrow if I let you sleep in a dress shirt.”

Lightly, you grab onto the fabric of Heeseung’s sleeve and usher him toward the guest bedroom, where a bedroll is waiting in the corner. With one foot, you kick the mattress so that it unfurls onto the wooden floor, then slip away to your bedroom.

There’s a little corner of your dresser dedicated to Heeseung’s clothes for nights like these. You grab a t-shirt and a pair of plaid pajama pants, and the material feels like lead in your hands.

When you re-enter the room, Heeseung is seated cross-legged on the mattress, staring down at the screen of his phone, the light illuminating only a small corner of the otherwise dark room. His hair is back over his eyes, and even from the doorway you can feel the aura of dejection he seems to exude.

“What’s wrong?” you ask softly, though you already know the answer.

The screen goes black, and then he’s looking up at you through his lashes. He exhales, you inhale, and he pushes himself up to stand in front of you.

You extend the clothes to him, but your hand is nudged to the side as he wraps his arms around you and rests his chin on your shoulder. He’s radiating warmth, skin like a furnace where his hands come into contact with your waist. You wonder again if your air conditioning is broken.

“Heeseung?”

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” he sighs, and your shoulders sink just a centimeter. “I’ve reread this goddamn text conversation, like, 20 times.”

“I’m sorry,” you tell him, because it’s the only thing you can think to say.

“Why are you sorry?” Even though you can’t see his face, you can hear the frown in his voice.

“I don’t know.”

You remain in his arms for thirty more seconds, before you pat his back softly, signalling for him to release you. He does so without complaint, and you press the clothes into his chest until he lifts his arms to hold them for himself.

“Try and get some sleep,” you say, taking a step backward toward the door. You push it open just a crack, and the light from the hallway starts to envelop your arm.

“I will.”

1:17 PM, Seoul, South Korea

For once, the heat of the summer afternoon is bearable. You use it as an excuse to drag Heeseung out of the house.

A small part of you had wished that after that night, a few days ago, things would take a turn for the better. They don’t, however; if anything, you think Heeseung seems even more dejected than he’d been the week after the breakup.

In a last ditch effort, you take him to the amusement park, because it seems near impossible to be completely miserable at Lotte World. You even spend an obscene amount of money on two animal ear headbands (and feel as though you’ve been completely reimbursed when the sight of a pair of frog eyes atop your head causes the corner of his lips to quirk up).

Now, the two of you sit on a bench, Heeseung staring at his phone in his lap and you staring off toward the horizon.

“Look,” you exclaim, pointing straight ahead and trying to read the sign of the attraction in front of you (you don’t care much what it is, as long as it’ll be able to snap your friend out of the daze he’s been in for the past few hours). “Let’s go.”

“But I’m so tired,” Heeseung complains, tilting his head back to stare at the sky. You can hear the hint of truth behind his joking words.

“Come on,” you plead, grabbing onto the sleeve of his shirt. “Just once, and then we can leave.”

He holds your gaze for a few seconds, and you can see the flash of contemplation behind his expression. You raise your eyebrows at him, and he breathes out a stuttered laugh.

“No, it’s okay,” he sighs, and you smile. “We can stay longer.”

Heeseung loops an arm through yours, motioning for the two of you to stand and make your way over to the ride. You make no effort to move, still busy watching the way Heeseung looks when his eyes are only on you.

“Unless you want to leave?” he asks, his sentence trailing up at the end in confusion. You blink your thoughts away.

“No,” you say, and allow yourself to relish in the feeling of his arm and yours threaded together. “I want to stay.”

4:52 PM, Jeju-do, South Korea

The sand is warm under the palms of your hands as you lean back, watching Heeseung run toward the turquoise ocean. Even from a distance, you can make out the smile on his face; he looks radiant.

Two months after the breakup, you genuinely think he’s doing a bit better.

With one hand, he waves you over. You don’t follow, so he jogs up to where you’ve set up your beach towel with an evil glint behind his eyes.

“Go into the water with me,” he grins down at you, hands on his hips. You squint as you look up at him, the sun shining straight into your eyes, then lift a hand to shade your face.

“No,” you say. “You’ll splash me.”

“Well, obviously.” His laugh rings out amidst the sounds of the water brushing against the shoreline. “But I’ll let you splash me too.”

“Deal.”

You start to push yourself up to your feet, but a hand is extended in front of your face. Your gaze flickers between Heeseung’s hand, then his face, then back down to his hand, and suddenly you feel as though you want to cry. When you grab ahold of him, you can feel the hints of calluses lining his palms and finger tips.

Heeseung tugs you over to the water, and you let a laugh escape your throat. And, even once you’ve reached it, standing with the waves reaching up to your knees, he doesn’t let go of your hand.

Despite his promises to splash you with water, the two of you simply stand side by side, looking out at the vast sea stretching as far as you can see into the distance.

“Heeseung?” you call, and he turns to you. “How do you feel?”

“I feel really good, actually,” he smiles. “Thank you.”

You don’t respond, but when Heeseung meets your eyes it’s like he can hear the words just on the tip of your tongue. Have you talked to Minju?

“We’ve decided to be friends again,” he tells you after a pause, but there’s something in your tone that makes you bite your lip.

Heeseung looks away again, and you feel sick to your stomach. And then, guilt stabs at your chest at the realization of your own jealousy.

The way he says “friends” to describe what he and Minju are isn’t the same way he says it to describe the two of you. Your hand feels clammy, and you want to release your hold on Heeseung to dunk it into the cold water.

Instead, you squeeze his hand a little tighter and tell yourself that the feeling will fade.

2:49 AM, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea

You’re fairly certain your couch wasn’t made to fit five people. It creaks every time one of you moves to grab a drink or food from the tray on the coffee table.

It’s also still ridiculously hot in your apartment. You make a mental note to call someone to check your heating system in the morning.

At around 11 PM, Heeseung, Jake, Jay, and Sunghoon had shown up at your door, insisting on watching the entirety of the Saw franchise. You’d opened your mouth to tell them to go back home, but one look into Heeseung’s eyes and you’d caved instantly.

Barely one movie in, you already want to change your mind.

Heeseung immediately takes the seat next to you, despite your desperate glances at Jay and Jake to fill the spots before he can (they just tilt their heads and smile at you, the assholes). Every time a jumpscare flashes across the small screen of your television, you feel yourself involuntarily shift closer to him, curling your fingers around his arm and hiding your face in his shoulder. You pretend not to notice the way Jongseong watches you from your other side, eyebrow raised.

When the gore and murder (and the fact that Heeseung is sitting so close) become slightly too much for you to stomach, you stand, mumbling that you’re going to change out of your jeans. Heeseung’s lips part to utter a protest, but you’re already shuffling out of the room.

In your bedroom, you earn yourself about two minutes of peace, which you spend pressing your hands to the sides of your neck and grimacing at the warmth of your own skin. You try to practice meditative breathing techniques.

As you reemerge from your bedroom, you run into Jay in the hallway.

Mumbling an apology, you step to the side, but he grabs ahold of your wrist and tugs you back out of the line of sight of the rest of your friends.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you,” Jongseong whispers, glancing quickly into the living room to make sure no one is watching your conversation. You don’t have to ask who he’s referring to. “You should confess soon.”

You press your lips shut, following his gaze to where the rest of your friends are sitting. Heeseung's still sitting on the couch, next to the empty space you'd left, blanket draped over his lap.

Prompted by your silence, Jay continues. “You never know when you’ll miss your opportunity.”

A faint glow illuminates Heeseung's face. You see him smile, then bite his lip and tuck his phone back into his pocket.

“I can’t, Jongseong,” you sigh, voice just loud enough for him to hear. “I think I’ve already missed it.”

6:22 PM, New York City, USA

The skyline seems to wrap around you, cradling your shoulders like a warm blanket. You’re alone in an unfamiliar city, but for the first time in months, you don’t feel lonely.

Three weeks prior, you’d decided to spend the rest of your summer in New York, wanting to gain some internship experience before your classes started again in the fall. Though it’s only for a short period of time, saying goodbye to Heeseung is the hardest part.

You can just barely hear his voice on the line through the sounds of traffic and pedestrians around you. His voice is tinged with the metallic tone from your speaker when he says hello, and you press your phone just a little closer to your ear.

The two of you make it through a few minutes of pleasantries until the grogginess from waking up leaves his voice, while you walk the three blocks between the park and your rental apartment. Once silence fills the space between you, you hear a puff of air leave his lips.

“I miss you a lot,” he tells you. Your footsteps slow to a stop. “I’ve been such a shit friend to you these past few months, haven’t I?”

“Not at all,” you say, and you really, truly mean it.

“Tell me when you’re back in Korea,” he continues. “We can get drinks, or something.”

“Never again,” you chuckle in memory of the last time you’d gone drinking with Heeseung, and the way you’d laid in bed awake for hours while he slept just down the hall.

“Also,” he says, just above a whisper. You find yourself holding your breath. “Minju and I got back together.”

Though you’d been anticipating them, you expect the words to fill you with the same stabbing jealousy and guilt from before, the way they have for months (probably years) thus far. But when Heeseung actually says them, you feel a strange sense of calm.

“Good,” you smile. “I’m happy for you.”

You tell Heeseung you’ve arrived at your apartment, and he lets you go with a promise to call him again the next time you get the chance. Once your finger presses the button to hang up, you let out a long sigh and watch your breath fan in front of you in the cool night.

After so many months of saying you’re happy for Lee Heeseung over and over again, you think you’re finally starting to believe it.

#withering blissfully: the collab #heeseung x reader #enhypen x reader #lee heeseung #enhypen heeseung #heeseung angst #enhypen angst #heeseung imagine #enhypen imagines #heeseung imagines #heeseung oneshot #enhypen oneshot #heeseung x you #enhypen x you #lee heeseung x reader #enhypen heeseung x reader

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zeawoo · 2 years

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Merry Bad Ending ! park sunghoon

hi! so this is my entry for @jungwonize and @chiyuv’s “Withering Blissfully” Collab! i hope you enjoy and please do not read this without someone or something to hug ahah- also big thanks to @alohajun for beta reading this <3

PAIRING ▸ goody-two-shoes!sunghoon x delinquent!reader

GENRE ▸ enemies to lovers, fluff to angst, coming of age, inspired by The Outsiders by S.E Hinton

SUMMARY ▸ in 1980s seoul, park sunghoon’s life gets tangled with l/n y/n, his schools top delinquent. he doesn’t like her and swears to never get close to her, but when he ends up breaking that vow and befriends her, tragedy strikes. but of course, he should’ve known. because nothing good comes out of something rotten.

WORDCOUNT ▸ 5905 (i’m so sorry)

DISCLAIMERS ▸ major character death, swearing, violence, mentions of knives, tasers, crowbars, blood and fighting. juvenile delinquency, mentions of murder (poison), somewhat unlikeable characters, eat the rich

TAGS ▸ @soobin-chois @yyunari @ethereal-engene @enhacolor @liliansun

“L/N Y/N, late again!” The teacher's shrieking voice took over the classroom.

Seventeen-year-old L/N Y/N stood at the door, rolling her eyes at the woman as she unwrapped a lollipop and stuck it in her mouth. “So? At least I’m here.”

The teacher almost swore. It was written all over her face. Y/N nonchalantly waltzed over to the empty desk at the back of the classroom. The students all watched her with hatred sketched into their features.

No one around here liked L/N Y/N, and she didn’t like anyone either. She was a delinquent, going around and wreaking havoc. Picking fights with street gangs and adults alike.

Some said it was a pity, having her above average looks ruined by the scars and bruises her body gained from getting tangled up in fights. Most girls would curse her for having those looks but letting them all go to waste.

When the teacher did nothing but glare at her, the girl put her legs up on the desk and smirked. “What’re y’a gonna do, old lady?”

“L/N Y/N!” She was now trembling. Face red and lips quivering with rage.

“That’s my name, yes. But call me Black Widow, that’s what they call me in the streets. Cool, ain’t it?”

“Enough!” The woman yelled, slamming her fists onto the stand in front of her. “Get out of my classroom immediately!”

Y/N rolled her eyes, moving the lollipop to the other side of her mouth. “I’m already here, old hag, so just continue the lesson already. Geez.”

And suddenly, someone stood up. “Ms. Lee asked you to leave.”

It was Park Sunghoon. The model student, child of a famous politician. He was smart, rich, nice, and respectful. Y/N knew who he was, but she didn’t pay any mind to the nerd who was the teachers’ pet.

“Do you ever get tired of acting like a prim and proper little good-for-nothing nerd, Park?” At that, it was like a pin dropped. Everyone froze like the ice age suddenly hit the classroom. “I mean come on, you can’t expect to always be the old geezers’ little toy.”

Sunghoon’s hands formed into fists at his side. He bit his bottom lip, glaring at the girl across the room who looked amused.

And without a word, Y/N kicked her feet off the table and hopped out of the classroom, humming peacefully at the commotion she’d just caused.

—

Sunghoon went home annoyed that day. When his driver came to pick him up as per usual, the boy sat quietly in the back instead of starting up a small conversation with the man in front of the wheel.

When he got home, the first thing on his mind was to see his father. Luckily for him, the man had made time to see him in his office after his son had made the request.

“Sit, son.” Mr. Park watched attentively as Sunghoon dropped into the chair in front of him.

“Do you know L/N Y/N?”

At the unexpected question, the man straightened in his seat. “Why?”

“Isn't it obvious? How in the hell is that girl still not expelled from the school? She can’t be someone important, can she?”

Sunghoon’s lips parted slightly, seeing his father sigh deeply. “She’s the daughter of L/N D/N.”

The boy’s eyes widened at the name. Y/n? The daughter of one of the richest men in Seoul?

“What? How the hell did I not know?”

“That’s because on paper they are strangers, son. When Y/N’s actions started hurting the family name, her father had a few men alter some things and change her identity completely. She was given an apartment and monthly allowance, but other than that, the man who used to be her father remarried, and is living happily with his wife and newborn son. Even though she's still somewhat protected by him, paying the school to keep her under the radar.”

“What about the mother?”

“She died. She was poisoned by the man because he had caught her having an affair with a Japanese diplomat.”

Sunghoon’s mouth was now agape. He couldn’t understand what was happening.

“It’s crazy what money can do, huh?” Mr Park laughed uncomfortably at the thought, rubbing his hand over his face. “Look, son. Don’t bring this up with anyone. That man holds enough power to wipe our names out of society.”

“Y-Yes. Of course, father.”

—

“Shit, you guys just won’t piss off!” Y/N’s voice resonated through the dark back alley as she swung her pocket knife at the stranger.

The man who had attempted to hold her at gunpoint was now knocked out on the ground and blood was leaking from his side. The pistol had been discarded, landing somewhere in between the trash bags stashed further in the alley.

Y/N looked up to catch the eyes of another guy, who seemed terrified. Definitely a newbie. They were members of a popular street gang. They called themselves the Vipers. She spat, shoving her hands into the pockets of her sullied school blazer.

“Tell your leader to leave me the fuck alone. I ain’t got anything to offer to that pathetic man. My business with you Vipers was over the moment you cowards ratted me out to them Jokers.”

And with that, Y/N turned and left. She could hear the newbie run to the other man’s aid. She continued walking to nowhere in particular. It was a Thursday afternoon. She had skipped her classes after lunch. It was probably around three now, seeing as students filled the streets.

She was considering going to Hannam-Dong, with the image of the man who’d abandoned her when she was merely twelve in mind. She didn’t care for how he was doing. She didn’t care if he was happy. And she definitely did not care if he was enjoying his corruption-filled life with his new family.

She just wanted to taunt him a little. Remind him of the past life he led when everything he had was at stake. Maybe she would’ve vandalized his house. Not out of resentment or hatred, but because she thought it would be fun.

Y/N was dragged out of her thoughts when she turned the corner and saw a group of high schoolers beating up someone. There were five of them. As she approached, a crooked smile picked at their lips.

No way, if it isn’t Mr. Perfect Park Sunghoon.

She crossed her arms, amused as he was being kicked around and punched. But when things got too far, AKA the pocket knives and tasers were brought out, she stepped in.

The first punch was to the guy holding a pocket knife. The commotion caused the over four to turn their attention to her.

The boy with the pocket knife recoiled and hit the ground with a loud thud. They all looked at her and grinned maliciously.

—

Sunghoon woke up in an unfamiliar place. An unfamiliar bed. It smelled different. Like cigarettes.

That’s when he panicked. Suddenly sitting up and immediately regretting it. His head was pounding, and he was struggling to open his eyes, let alone breathe.

“Woah, energetic now, aren’t we?”

That voice.

Sunghoon turned to his left and pried open his eyes. There, leaning against the doorframe, was none other than Y/N. The room was dark, but at least the light from outside peeked in.

“What type of nightmare is this?” He mumbled, to which Y/N scoffed.

“Wake up, kid. This ain’t a dream you’re in.”

Holy shit.

“What the-” He looked down to see his hands wrapped up in white bandages. He felt one going around his head and another along his shoulder blade. “Did you attack me or something? What the hell?!”

Y/N almost laughed. It seemed like she was going over to the bed, but stopped midway and walked towards the window instead. “Be grateful, you little brat. I saved you from those delinquents. You would’ve been dead had I not stepped in.”

“Yeah, right, as if you of all people would do such a thing.”

That made the girl turn around. She studied Sunghoon carefully as he swallowed. Y/N turned to look outside. It was night time but Seoul was bright and alive with lights and people’s laughter in the streets. For a moment, it was still. Peaceful, even. But then she directed her gaze to the boy in bed, crossing her arms whilst doing so.

“You know, you’re lucky those were just some high school brats and not an actual gang.” She moved closer to him, eventually making it to the bed. She sat down and fell on her back, sprawling her arms out as she stared at the ceiling.

Sunghoon had nothing to say. Part of him wanted to yell, scream, and even get the hell away from her. But something tugged at his heartstrings when he was suddenly reminded of the conversation he had with his father.

Was it pity that he felt for her? He sure hoped it wasn’t because never in his life would he ever see L/N /Y/N as anything else than a disgusting, troublemaking girl.

“What happened to them?” He suddenly asked, his voice cracking in the process, which made his ears turn red.

“Gave them a good beating.”

Sunghoon scoffed. “There were five of them. No way you actually beat them all.”

“Well, do you see any damn scratches on me? I’m not the one covered in goddamn bandages now, aren't I?“ Y/N suddenly snapped. Sunghoon flinched. He was reminded of who she was and what she was capable of.

“I should go. Home, of course.” He muttered, climbing out of bed and grabbing his stuff.

He called his driver to pick him up and waited in the entrance. Y/n didn’t budge, and he was relieved. Sunghoon went home that night and was immediately greeted by his worried dad.

Seeing the man pacing back and forth in the living room of their estate made him wonder. Does she even have anyone in her life except for herself?

—

Y/N didn’t show up at school for the next week. No one cared. In fact, everyone, including the faculty, was happy.

One person wasn’t, and that was Sunghoon.

He should’ve been over the moon like everyone else. But he wasn’t. Why? He didn’t know. He found himself subconsciously drawing his gaze to the vacant desk at the back of the classroom.

—

A week later, Y/N walked into History class with a bandage on her cheek and cuts fully covering her hands.

That made rumors spread across the school, amongst students from all grades and teachers alike. Even the lunch ladies were giving Y/N the stank eye.

“Hey,” Sunghoon managed to pull her aside at lunch. He was just in time because, judging by the looks of it, you were about to leave.

“Whaddya want, Mr Teachers’ Pet.”

He almost replied with “Do not call me that!” but kept his cool. “What happened to you?”

Y/N looked him dead in the eye. “Suddenly interested in my life now, huh, Mr Perfect?”

Sunghoon frowned, eyebrows furrowing. “Did you get into a fight?”

She scoffed, “Five, actually.” Y/N scanned him up and down, a smirk growing on her face. “Since when does the model student concern himself with the school’s delinquent? Won't that hurt your perfect little reputation, Park? Hm?”

“Stop it.” He glanced at her hands. The wounds were open, blood gushing out every time she moved them. “Come with me.”

He didn’t let her reply before dragging her out of the school and to a nearby convenience store. The girl didn’t resist, which was weird since she was damn well capable of drop kicking the guy if she wanted to.

But instead, she let him clean up the cuts, apply ointment and even bandage her hands up.

“There.” Sunghoon said as he put away the stuff he bought. When he looked back at the girl, he was surprised to see her eyes focusing on him. An unreadable expression painted her face. “What?”

“Why are you, of all people, taking care of my injuries?”

Sunghoon didn’t have an answer to that. He actually wasn’t sure why he did what he did. Was it because Y/N helped him when he got cornered by those guys? Maybe because he felt like he owed her something after that.

“Forget it.” He abruptly stood, about to leave, when she grasped his forearm with a questionable amount of strength. She didn’t look up at him. Instead, her eyes were watching the cars go by in the street.

“Don’t help anyone in this world. Listen, I don't know why you thought it was a good idea to do this, but you filthy privileged rich rats don’t need to help people like me out of pity.”

Sunghoon’s eyes narrowed. “How ungrateful.”

Y/N’s grip loosened enough for the boy to pull away. “I was just trying to help. I guess you’d rather rot all alone.”

If Y/N wanted to say anything, Sunghoon didn’t let her, for he simply walked away.

—

It had been two weeks since Sunghoon last spoke to Y/N. October had rolled around, and the weather was getting chillier by the day. The leaves started changing colors, and the sun was setting a lot sooner than usual.

Sunghoon was out shopping with a few of his friends when he passed by the apartment complex that Y/N lived in. He stopped for a moment, looking up at the building. His friend had nudged him, causing the boy to shake his head and continue on like nothing happened.

It took around two hours before Sunghoon couldn’t take it anymore and announced to his friends that he’d be heading home, using the excuse of having a massive headache to disguise the fact that he was really heading to Y/N’s apartment.

He didn’t know why, but he ran. He ran back to the building he passed by that morning and ran up the numerous flights of stairs. His heart was pounding, but he just assumed it was because of the excessive running.

I’m supposed to stay the hell away from her. I'm supposed to despise her. She’s the school's delinquent. We don’t belong in the same world. We shouldn’t have ever even spoken.

And yet … Here I am.

L/N Y/N, why are you so — intriguing?

There were two knocks on the door. Just as the boy was about to knock a third time, the door opened. Y/N raised a curious brow when she met eyes with the unexpected visitor whose hand was still hovering mid-air.

Neither of them said anything. Sunghoon guessed it was around three seconds, but to him, it felt like an eternity. Like time had stopped.

“So… are you just going to stand there?” Y/N’s voice broke his train of empty thoughts.

“Oh, uh—“ He cleared his throat in a rather awkward manner. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Y/N looked amused at his demeanor and left the door open as she turned on her heels and disappeared into the apartment, leaving the door wide open.

Sunghoon took it as a sign that he was welcome and stepped in, taking off his shoes before following Y/N to the living room. She was sitting on the couch reading some sort of book he didn’t recognize.

“You actually read?” It wasn’t supposed to be condescending. However, the way the words took a specific tone of disbelief and belittlement suggested that the boy thought otherwise.

“You come to my apartment to question my interests, Park Sunghoon?”

“No of course not! I just—”

And that’s when she chuckled. It was quiet, almost inaudible, but he heard it.

“Kidding.” She glanced at him with a taunting expression, which made him burst into silent giggles as well.

It was weird. Sunghoon didn’t feel like this was right. No. This was wrong. He wasn’t supposed to be there. Never in his life was he supposed to be talking to her, let alone ditch his high-class friends to see her. But somehow, his mind and body brought him there.

“What’s that book?” Sunghoon scooted close enough to read the title.

“The Outsiders.” Y/N handed the book over for him to read the blurb at the back.

A small nod indicated he had read it, so she took the novel back from him. “Rich kids like you should read it.”

“What does that imply?” Sunghoon raised a skeptical brow.

“Nothing, really. Just thought you — hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Sunghoon had pulled at the collar of Y/N’s t-shirt, exposing a scar that drew across her shoulder blades.

“What …” Sunghoon trailed off, bewildered. He didn’t even realize Y/N’s hands on his arm until he felt the sharp pain of her fingernails digging into his skin. “Ow! What the hell?”

Her eyes were deadly. As cold as ice, and as vicious as venom. She roughly threw his arm away from her, causing the boy to gasp in pain. “Don’t you ever touch me, you hear that?”

“Okay!” He gently rubbed the reddened skin, terrified eyes meeting Y/N’s gaze. His voice was hushed. “I’m sorry… I just saw—”

“Enough. We will not talk about this ever again.”

“But — hey! How did you even get that scar? It can’t be from a street fight because—“

“Fine.” Y/N suddenly stood up. “You want to know what happened? I’ll show your nosey ass what the hell happened. Then you keep your mouth shut. Deal?”

Sunghoon was frozen, processing the words in his head. In the end, he nodded with a gulp.

He didn’t know how long they were walking. He didn’t even recognize the streets they were passing by. It probably took around thirty minutes before they reached an abandoned park. Everything was overgrown, the playground dirty and covered in dirt and sand.

Y/N quietly walked over to one of the swing sets. The boy watched as she grazed her finger along one of the rusted metal posts. The paint was partially chipped off. Then he saw it.

A small symbol engraved on the post. It wasn’t clear what that symbol represented, but it seemed to affect Y/N by the way she was looking at it.

Without a word, she sat down on one of the swings, waiting for Sunghoon to do the same before talking.

“In middle school, this one kid would always find a way to get under my skin. He teased me a lot, sometimes would even push me off the swing or down the slide. He hated me. I hated him.”

Sunghoon studied her closely. Y/N didn’t seem like her usual self. She was focused, choosing her words carefully so as to not make her look weak.

“I just assumed it would stop one day. But I guess not. Didn’t know he had it in him to carry around an actual knife.” She let out a dry laugh, and Sunghoon could only stare at her baffled. “Let’s go. I told you what happened. Now you keep your end of the bargain.”

—

Somehow, Sunghoon found himself around Y/N a lot after that. She didn’t particularly like having him around at first, but she warmed up to him to a certain degree.

But whenever Sunghoon tried to talk to her at school, she would treat him as a stranger or ignore him. This annoyed the boy, but he didn’t say anything about it.

Over time, Y/N had taught Sunghoon how to loosen up a bit. Whatever the hell that meant in her dictionary. On the contrary, Sunghoon forced her to do some of her homework. He didn’t know how the hell he persuaded her to do it, but the look of shock on the teacher's face when she handed in her work was enough for him to want to make her keep doing it.

After school, they went to the convenience store. Sunghoon was waiting for her to finish, but then suddenly, she took off running, grabbing him along with her as they fled the store without paying for their food.

“What the hell Y/N?!” Sunghoon yelled as they ran, glancing back to see a police officer chasing after them. “Wait, why is there a cop behind us?!”

Y/n was laughing, holding on tight to her stolen chips. “The damn clerk called the police as soon as we walked in. I’m guessing they saw me fighting with those stupid middle schoolers a few weeks back and decided to play the safe option.”

Sunghoon was in shock. He was amazed at how his body was still moving. “But that doesn’t mean you were going to cause trouble!”

“Dunno, man. People judge my looks a whole damn lot. It’s probably the bandaids.” She was giggling now, turning her head left and right to find a way to escape. “Left!”

As they rounded the corner, they gained more attention. The pedestrians cleared the way so as to not get hit by the two teenagers. “Listen, Park. Rule number one about sticking with me: If we ever are in trouble, run. And don’t you dare look back, just run!”

Sunghoon stared at her. And for a moment, he swore his heart skipped a beat. She looked so innocent and happy despite literally running away from the police after committing theft. For once, Y/N looked like she was having fun.

The two eventually lost the police officer and headed back to Y/N’s place. As soon as they got in, Y/N kicked off her shoes and threw the snacks, then herself, onto the couch. Sunghoon was still in a state of shock, standing still at the feet of the sofa.

“We could’ve gotten caught! What if we went to jail for that, Y/N?!”

“Oh, chill out, dude. No one goes to jail for stealing a few chip packets at a corner shop.” She rolled her eyes at his overreaction.

“But still I would've gotten in so much trouble, Y/N.” He finally sat down, reluctantly snatching a chocolate bar and taking a big bite out of it.

Y/N sat up and laughed at him, to which he muttered something about stress eating.

“Dude, it’s fine. We didn’t get caught. Besides, it was that damn clerk’s fault for calling the cops on us.”

Sunghoon stopped. It was true. If the worker hadn’t made such assumptions about Y/N, he wondered if things would’ve gone differently. He knows for damn sure that if he was with his other friends, the man wouldn’t have batted an eye at all.

He turned to look at the girl who was engulfing the food. For a second, the boy almost teared up.

L/N Y/N was fearless. She didn’t care what people thought of her. She did what she had to do, even if it meant getting her hands dirty. She wasn’t scared of death, Sunghoon concluded, remembering the time she jumped out the third-floor window at school in freshman year. No, death was something she waved off. She was heartless, mean, and cold.

At least, that’s what everyone else thought.

But Sunghoon knew her better than anyone else, and yet he felt like he knew almost nothing about her. She was funny and smart. Book smart and street smart, she just never showed off the former. She enjoyed reading books about delinquents, sleeping in on Sundays and making fun of crying children.

His body moved on its own. Because the normal Park Sunghoon would never have hugged L/N Y/N. The normal Park Sunghoon that was a model student and perfect son would’ve never kissed someone who was the complete opposite of him.

But Park Sunghoon did. He kissed L/N Y/N.

The both of them felt their faces heat up, bodies stiff as they found themselves in this strange predicament.

When they broke apart, Sunghoon looked anywhere but at her.

“Didn't know you liked to kiss any girl in your field of vision after stealing from a convenience store.” Her words made him laugh, and he was relieved to see that she was smiling, too.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked ...” Sunghoon’s arms were still around Y/N’s shoulders, but he didn’t care enough to let go of her just yet.

“So, do I need to ask if I want to kiss you again? Properly, this time.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Of course not.”

—

Sunghoon opened the door of Y/N’s apartment to see her opening a bag of popcorn. It had been around a week since they ungracefully kissed and Sunghoon was starting to wonder if they were dating or not.

After that day, Y/N never bothered to mention it again, which confused the boy. She acted like everything was normal after that.

“Hey, are we dating?”

Her hands stopped moving at those words. “Dating as in, like ... boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Well, yeah, I don't know what else it could be.”

“I don’t know, are we, Park?”

“I don’t know either. That’s why I’m asking you.”

Y/N stopped. “Do you like me?”

“Of course I do. I didn't kiss you for nothing.”

“Then, I guess we are.”

And that’s how Park Sunghoon’s first love ended up being the person he used to hate the most at school. He didn’t want to admit it, but he fell hard.

—

The following month was pure bliss for Sunghoon. He saw Y/N every day and even slept over at her place a few times a week.

One Saturday afternoon, Sunghoon rolled over to see Y/N peacefully reading a book from some Japanese author. He eyed her carefully.

“I love you.”

Y/N’s hands froze on the page she was about to turn. But after a moment, she continued on like she didn’t hear anything.

“Hey.” Sunghoon tried again. “I love you.”

But when Y/N completely disregarded his attempt, the boy got upset. “Aren’t you going to tell me you love me, too?”

Again, she didn’t answer, nor did she even acknowledge his presence. Sunghoon couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t say a word as he packed up. Part of him wished Y/N stopped him before he walked out of that apartment. But all of him wanted her to say those three words.

She didn’t. And Park Sunghoon walked home that night, furious at his girlfriend.

—

When Y/N tried to talk to him again a few days later, she was completely shut down. She’d even gone over to his place to talk to him, only to be denied two seconds later.

This, in turn, caused her temper to grow worse than before. It’s like she went back to the person she was before meeting Sunghoon, but worse.

Anyone from any gang on the streets she saw, she beat up without a reason. High-schoolers, Vipers, and even Jokers.

This caused a ruckus amongst Seoul’s delinquents and gangsters.

And, so one night, when she’d gone out and gotten herself piss drunk, they decided to make her pay for the damage she’d caused to their gang members.

—

“Hey did you hear? Y/N ended up in the hospital last night. Apparently, she was jumped by over fifteen men.”

“I know! That’s so scary, she kinda deserved it though. It’s her fault for being involved with those scary gangs.”

Sunghoon’s head snapped up, seeing the two girls who had just been talking about Y/N.

“What did you say?” He almost ran over to them, knocking a chair down in the process. The girls were shocked at how concerned he looked, and this caused the whole class to divert their attention to the three of them.

“L/N Y/N is in the hospital. She got attacked by a bunch of men.”

“Yeah! It was all over TV last night.”

Sunghoon’s eyes grew wider than humanly possible. His head started violently shaking as his gaze bounced from the floor, to the fallen chair, back to the two girls and finally, Y/N’s desk.

The boy didn’t know what happened after that. All he knew was that he’d somehow ran across the city to the hospital and demanded for Y/N’s room number in a frantic way.

They weren’t supposed to allow visitors given the state Y/N was in, but after seeing Sunghoon, the doctor let him in.

And there she was, laying in the hospital bed, an oxygen mask attached to her face. The bleeping from the heart monitor rang in his ears. So much so he had to cover them as he walked over to the bed and dropped onto the chair next to it.

“Y/N …”

The door suddenly opened. Sunghoon didn’t need to turn around to know that it was the same doctor from a minute ago.

“How bad is it?”

“Not good, son. Fractured spine, multiple stab wounds to her torso, internal bleeding, and broken arms, legs, fingers and jaw.”

And that’s when he reached his limit. Sunghoon broke down into tears. He’d gotten ahold of Y/N’s freezing cold hand, kissing her palm as he repeatedly apologized.

He apologized for not being good enough to her. He apologized for being such a good-for-nothing nerd who looked down on delinquents. He apologized for getting angry at her. And he apologized for not letting her in when she’d gone over to talk it out with him.

It all happened in a blur. One moment all he could hear was his own voice.The next, the heart monitor went off like crazy. And then somehow, amidst his sobbing and thrashing, the nurses got him out of the room as the doctors tried their best to bring back his girlfriend.

But when the doctor came back outside with a sympathetic expression, Sunghoon’s world stopped.

—

Sunghoon became delusional. He skipped school for god knows how long. He never left his room. He refused to eat or even talk to anyone, except for his dad, who occasionally came in to hold his grieving son.

His heart hurt hearing Sunghoon blame himself for the death of a girl who was wanted all across Seoul. He wished he could’ve told him that, but he had no place to speak on their relationship.

It took around three weeks before Sunghoon stopped crying. There was no funeral that was held in Y/N’s honor. Even if there were, who would’ve even attended it? No one liked her. No one loved L/N Y/N except for Park Sunghoon.

His father had their butlers go over to Y/N’s place and bring her personal belongings. Except, there wasn’t much save for a few books, her uniform and a sweatshirt that Y/N stole from Sunghoon when it was cold outside.

The least expected thing was the doctor who came by. He’d dropped off an envelope.

“It was in the pocket of her jacket. It has your name on it, son, so I thought you might want to have this.”

Sunghoon went straight to his room and opened the envelope. He tried his best to hold back his tears when he saw what was in it, but a few slipped past nonetheless.

It was a letter.

Sunghoon,

Ah shit, I’m terrible at writing things like these. Where am I even supposed to start?

You know what? You better drag your damn butt back here before I actually go insane without you. I didn’t realize how much your absence affected me. So get back here, you little good-for-nothing prim and proper rich kid, before I go there and bring you back by force.

Listen, shit has gone to hell after what happened. I’m going back to my old habits and that’s not a good thing. My head is wanted amongst the criminals of Seoul. Maybe it’s ‘cause I beat all them douche bags for fun. Who cares though? I needed to blow off some steam. They were pretty easy targets, anyway.

I don’t really know what else to say. God damn it, Park, you know I'm not good with these cheesy things. I’m writing this as I’m wearing that stupid sweater of yours because it smells like you.

In fact, your scent is all over this goddamn house. It's driving me nuts knowing you’re not even here. There’s so much food left over cause I accidentally make too much. I got into the habit of cooking for you too, you damn spoiled rich kid.

What I'm trying to say is, come back. Come back and bother me. Come back and yell at me for getting into another fight. Come back and tend to my wounds like you did at that convenience store. Come back and tell me how much of a loser I am for liking The Outsiders so much.

I don’t care whatever the hell you do. Just come back home.

I know you’re pissed at me, but understand that I’m too much of a coward to say those words you wanted me to say. I’m scared, okay? I’m really fucken scared, dude.

I’m sorry I couldn’t say it back to you when you said it so easily to me.

I love you, Park Sunghoon.

I do, trust me when I say I do. You don’t know how much I've been wanting to say that to you.

But I'm scared, okay? I may look all tough and fearless, but I'm actually really fucken scared right now. I'm scared of losing you and I'm scared that you’ll get hurt because of me.

I'm scared, Sunghoon. I really am.

So please just get your little smartass back here and hug me. Kiss me. Tell me you love me again and I'll say it back. I’ll say it a thousand times if that’s what it takes.

I love you, Park Sunghoon.

And if we ever fight again, force those words out of my mouth.

I don’t know how long it’ll take after you get this letter to come back to me. A week? Two weeks? A month maybe?

God, the thought of it taking that long is actually going to kill me. So hurry and come back.

And remember, rule number one: If you are ever in trouble, run. And don’t you dare look back, just run.

From Y/N, to my lifeline.

—

L/N Y/N lived a pretty terrible life. From having her father poison her mother because of an affair to then being abandoned and erased of her identity, it was inevitable she was going to end up like this. Growing up on the streets, she had to fight to survive. She couldn’t trust anyone. And she could never let her guard down. Not even for a split second.

Through her eighteen years in this godforsaken hellhole, she didn’t harbor any love for anyone. Not even herself. She trusted no one except for herself, yet at times, it was hard to do so.

But everything changed when her life got mixed up with that of Park Sunghoon. She began to smile more. She had a reason to keep going. Because someone was there to talk to her. To hang out with her. To trust her. And to love her.

Park Sunghoon was the only thing Y/N loved.

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