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#yes i love angst but i don’t draw it that often unless im really in the mood to
sketchncanto · 2 years
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No more happily reunited Bruno. I want sad, lonely, isolated Bruno. ANGST ANGST ANGST!!! JK, love your work.
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Y’know what? Y’all want angst?— FINE
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ayanna-wild · 4 years
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A Place To Call Home
Word Count: 1557
Pairings: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader
Warnings: angst, possible trigger, fluff
A/N: Request from anonymous, And thank you all so much for being so supportive, screw the haters, you guys are amazing and I truly couldn't ask for better readers!
Tag list and Request are open!
Summary: He seldom came to this part of the city, where the people who resided would sooner rob him then help him. But he had a favor to collect on. While he waited to cross the street, he notices a small crowd of people and there you are at the center, torn clothes, dirty, and giving away all the money you had just collected from the crowd who had bought your art. He can't help but be curious and you soon find a persistent devil tailing after you. Wondering why you gave everything when it was clear you had nothing. 
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Lucifer sighed as he stood impatiently on the sidewalk. This light always seemed to take so long to change, with how old it looked he was surprised it even functioned at all anymore. He'd have crossed the street already, light be damned, if he didn't think someone might run him over. He wouldn't put it past anyone in this part of the city. Most watched him like greedy vultures, waiting for his demise, so they could swoop in and collect from his misery.
A small crowd of people gathered around someone who was sitting on a blanket. He didn't think much of it, they'd been there a while. He turned his attention back to the light, just in time to see it flicker before fizzing out all together. 
"Oh bloody hell." 
Lucifer glared at the wretched thing, looking both ways to see if he could safely cross. He wouldn't even be here if the Detective hadn't asked him to use one of his favors. He was beginning to regret agreeing. He'd been seconds from stepping off the broken concrete, and onto the street when he threw one last glance over his shoulder. The crowd had dispersed, and he saw the person at the center was now gathering their blanket. He watched you closely as you walked a few feet down, handing the cup of money in your hand to an elderly woman.
The two of you seemed to argue for a moment, but ultimately it seemed you won and you draped the worn blanket you carried over her shoulders. Lucifer watched you walk away curiously before changing his direction. He approached the older woman with a kind smile.
"Excuse me, do you know who that was?" He asked politely.
She regarded him closely for a moment, almost suspiciously.
"I do. What's it to you?" 
Lucifer smiled at the woman's attempt to be intimidating.
"I simply wish to ask her a few things is all."
He held his hands up, trying to show her he meant no harm to her or you.
"Her name is Y/N, she lives not far from here." 
"And does she do that often? Give her money away like that?" 
The woman shrugged, peering into the cup you'd given her.
"Yes, sometimes to me, sometimes to other people, I always tell that girl not to worry about me. She's worse off than I am. I've got my coat for the winter, but she insists on giving away her stuff. Her hard-earned money, she's talented, if her situation was different she'd have made a name for herself by now."
Lucifer was even more intrigued now, and he glanced down the street.
"There's a soup kitchen close by, poor funding but it provides at least three meals a week. Hardly anything, but it's enough to keep some skin on her bones."
Lucifer frowned a little at that, and the elderly lady began to gather her stuff.
"It's the alley by the old deli, you can't miss it, she's draped this old blue tarp over a few crates. Bit rough, but it gets the job done." 
Lucifer thanked the woman before going on his way. He looked around the area, searching for the place she had described. He found you, placing an unused trashed bag over a hole in your tarp. You didn't notice him lingering as you taped the bag down.
"Not exactly a five-star hotel is it?"
You jumped at the sound of his voice, turning to face him with unease. Lucifer took a step into the alley, making you take one back.
"Maybe not, but it does the trick."
He watched you shiver, saw the goosebumps on your skin as you stood there.
"I don't have any drawings left to sell if that's why you're here."
Lucifer looked around the place you called home.
"You don't have much of anything by the looks of it." He hummed.
Your unease was gone, replaced instead by annoyance and you crossed your arms. 
"It's better than what I had before... where I was before." 
Lucifer frowned, tilting his head.
"Anyway, if you're just here to comment on my living situation than kindly fuck off." 
Your words were bitter, a stark contrast to the actions you had displayed earlier. Lucifer walked closer to you, but you didn't seem as hesitant this time.
"I apologize that was rather rude of me, I assure you that isn't why I'm here."
"Then why are you?" You looked at him skeptically, like you didn't trust his words.
"I suppose your act of selflessness quipped my curiosity so, I've come to ask you why." 
You looked at him confused and a little lost, and he continued, further explaining himself.
"You gave that woman all the money you made, from those drawings I'm assuming you spent hours making. Then you gave her your blanket, which by the looks of things was your only source of warmth for the winter, despite how tattered the thin fabric was. I simply wish to know why that is. Why share everything when you have nothing to give?" 
You stared at him a moment, studying him as you tried to gauge if maybe he had ulterior motive beyond his question. However, it seemed he really was just curious.
"Her name is Edrsia, she's almost seventy-years-old. She's not on the streets by choice, her son took everything she had and pawned it off. Her husband passed years before, and she couldn't afford even a shoe box size apartment. She helped me, when I first started living on the streets. So, I give her what I can, whether I can spare it or not."
You expected him to be satisfied with your answer, maybe even leave you alone, but your response seemed to have the opposite effect.
"Yes but why? From what I can tell you're barely making it yourself. I simply cannot fathom why you'd give up what little you do have. Just because she helped you once, that hardly means you should risk your own well-being to return such a small act."
You smiled a little, offering a small shrug.
"I guess because it's just the human thing to do. I don't need a good reason to help someone, just a reason."
Lucifer pondered over your answer silently and you glanced back towards your makeshift tent.
"It's supposed to rain tonight, I really should-"
"Would you like a place to stay for a while?"
You almost tripped over yourself when you heard that.
"What?"
"Not for free of course, you see I rather like your art, and my bar could use a bit of...artistic flare."
You suspicion didn't go unnoticed by the handsome man, and he gave you a charming smile.
"The choice is yours, I'm merely offering you a warm place and a small job."
You mulled it over, he didn't come off as the type of person to play a joke this cruel. Yet, you suspected he had some underlining goal to this.
"What do you get out of this?"
Lucifer grinned, your question making him like you all the more.
"It's been my experience that humans can be rather selfish creatures, very few offer any real selflessness. If nothing else you can at least teach me a bit more about this side of humanity."
The deal seemed almost too good to be true, and a part of you wanted to refuse. But your shaking hands and the numbness in your limbs told you that you couldn't afford to be stubborn, not unless you wanted to freeze to death.
"Okay."
"Marvelous! Then if we have a deal-"
You shook your head, not moving to shake his outstretched hand.
"Not yet. I'm only agreeing if you help Edrsia, she doesn't have good health, she can't survive another year out here." 
Lucifer once again seemed surprised, but he nodded regardless.
"Consider it done, now do we have a deal?"
This time you did shake his hand, and let out a yelp when he tugged on your arm pulling you to his side. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, leading you down the street.
"Goodness you're chilled to the bone darling, here take this."
Lucifer released you to remove his jacket, but you shook your head looking almost ashamed.
"I live on the streets, showers aren't a luxury I can afford."
He ignored your protest draping the material over your shoulders, despite your words you quickly pulled it tighter around you.
"I don't mind my dear, it's not your fault."
You looked up at him smiling a bit.
"Thank you... I never got your name."
"Oh dear how rude of me to skip introductions, my name is Lucifer Morningstar."
"It's nice to meet you Lucifer, I'm Y/N."
He raised an eyebrow, but the smile never left his lips.
"No last name?" He inquired.
"Does it matter?" 
He hummed a little at your answer but didn't pry.
"I suppose not, well come on love, let's get you out of the cold."
You didn't argue when he placed a hand on your back, and you fought back grateful tears. Lucifer watched you from the corner of his eye, a soft smile on his lips, his heart swelling at the hope in your eyes.
Maybe you could teach the devil a thing or two about the better side of humanity.
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Tag List: @sallyp-53 @mizzezm @adira-secrets @we-are-all-alittle-strange-here @gingernarwal @im-just-along-for-the-ride @lifeshortbro @star-trek-is-my-lifesource @measure-in-pain @emiwrites3reads
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vanogla · 6 years
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got any vanogla headcanons? idc if its in au or not all i know is that I Need Vanogla Content Or I'll Die.
aw fuck don’t die i need every vanogla fan alive if i want to grow my empire 
ah jeez, this list is going to be a friggin’ mess so it’ll be under a cut-
general headcanons
here’s my base for hcs when i watch their videos. please remember that these are merely headcanons and may not be true!
*Evan’s only mean to David when Tyler is around; when they’re alone they laugh literally every other sentence and make harmless jokes and its all feel good banter 👍
*they’re both awkward in public and avoid PDA; if u ask them abt their (established) relationship they’ll be very tight-lipped abt it(・θ・)
*its not a headcanon that they’re both born in the same year :) you may have noticed that i draw Evan’s height in line with David’s caterpillar eyebrows so that’s my height diff hc :D
*imo Evan never uses pet names or terms of endearments with David, he’s not comfortable with it, and the furthest he’ll go is “babe”. David comes up with the shittiest, most obnoxious nicknames for Evan as much as possible to make up for it tho, and he’s not afraid to embarrass Evan in public with them xD however the only legit terms of endearment David uses are “dear” and “darling” cuz he’s an old man at heart
*this one is a rather unpopular one but i can never see Evan casually calling daithi “David” instead of “Nogla”. I know its like a relationship milestone to call him by his first name, but i cant see it happening unless its for a joke (e.g David Blaine from one of the vids) so imo daithi will forever be “Nogla” to Evan. (However if it’s AU im completely 100% all for it yes)
*Evan isn’t as smart as David thinks he is (tbh David puts him on a pedestal), and Evan doesn’t actually think David is stupid or dim (shown when he calls David “smurt” when he gives a good idea). i fuckin love it when they discuss solutions to the game together because they’re so quiet and serious in those moments :>
*surprisingly Evan overthinks more than David does; he’s actually a doubtful guy. David’s generally more impulsive than Evan, but he can form a black-or-white opinion depending on the facts he’s given. Evan on the other hand will stay in the grey area- he’ll find some way to balance out both sides (unless it’s morally wrong then hell no- he’s def picking a side)
*idk how to explain this one but i really love the way they say each other’s names. I noticed in some videos that David will keep calling “Evan” multiple times to get his attention and same goes for Evan repeating “Nogla” a buncha times to show or tell David something- and i just find it really cute and dorky.. if i could i would compile all of these moments together (T▽T)
*just sayin’: when they call each other ‘owl’ and ‘lobster’ it sounds flirty as fuck
*this is sappy but i definitely think that Evan is 100% himself when he’s with David. With David, he doesnt have to be the coolass-motherfucker-with-awesome-one-liners, and instead he openly giggles and asks for help/affection without having to filter himself to sound cool (i think this can be seen in some of their videos as well). although he isn’t as comfortable with David when other ppl are around, when they’re on their own Evan can always count on David to be encouraging, supportive and playing along with Evan’s jokes so that’s why Evan is so comfortable with David ( �� ▽ ` )
*fuckin hell they’ll always come back together; whether as friends or lovers they could never permanently cut each other out of their lives because their lives are so entwined with each other- David having Evan in his thumbnails/in the title, Evan laughing at David’s shenanigans are the highlight of his videos- and no matter how harsh they seem with each other they’ll always bounce back in the end :’)
*i think that they have a closer relationship than casual viewers of the crew think, and so they are forever a memorable aspect of each others lives (ye, theyre my OTP and BrOTP ヽ( ´¬`)ノ) 
*despite all’a this, i dont think they need each other, of course they can be independent and go their separate ways. but i just know for a fact that sooner or later they’re gonna see something that reminds them of the other and the memories will remind them of good times ^_^
*err i have like, 1 solid nsfw one and that is neither of them like penetration so they rarely do it. Its not because i have anything against anal, its because i don’t see either of them as people who enjoy being penetrated. Generally I don’t see them as a pair who’d have sex often anyway (^_^;) -however when they do they’d be laughing so much thru it ◎▼◎ (ill be posting a list for this veryverysoon! [update: here it is])
additional headcanons
here’s some of my indulgent hcs ^_^ here’s where the good stuffs at, cuz the general hcs don’t necessarily apply to these ones:
*David pining is my favourite thing ever like he’ll write a lot of songs abt Evan and he’ll post them and say that it’s not for anyone in particular but its a fucking lie because he literally has only one person on his mind when he writes it and sings it but he’ll never tell anyone and he sure as hell won’t tell Evan
*Evan pining is also v good yes :’) He’s fuckin scared that David’ll know that he has a soft spot for the Irish prick so he hides it with jabs and insults. but sometimes his fondness slips thru and his laugh comes out a lot warmer than he’d intended and his eyes linger on David and for a split second it feels like he knows, he fucking knows and yeah it scares him so in the end both of them think their feelings are unrequited woohoo
*i have a love/hate relationship with whipped!Evan cuz it feels like i stripped him of his personality but its the only way i can get him to shower David with affection so Welp he’s staying for the fluff
*whipped!Evan snippets: Evan longingly gazing at David like David would disappear the moment he blinks + Evan being bold and chasing after David because ‘you’re a part of this mess, we’re in this together whether you like it or not’ will really fuck me up
*Evan isn’t as giggly in some of my AUs. i like playing around with his GTA or Gmod-roleplaying personality so he can get pretty closed-off depending on the au. most of the time when he’s in this character, David will be the lighthearted and cheeky one to balance it out c:
*i love to treat David well but i also love to wreck him so cynical!David or insecure!David are some of my fav angst hcs cuz both’ll make him very very frustrated lol
*following the last point, David’s usually the one to fall in love first, but he’s also the one to doubt their relationship- so he’s hesitant of commitment and he’ll say stupid shit just to see if Evan will stay with him despite his flaws. 
*lowkey hero/villain au: the way bad-guy-David taunts good-guy-Evan with “little owl” or “little bird” or “plucking/ruffling yer feathers” is like, h o l y shit yes. (And don’t tell me you cant imagine Evan yelling “YOU’RE GOING DOWN” xD)
*for one of my soulmate aus, they’re not soulmates. they’re just two people who fell in love and decided to stay together despite the fact that they’re not “meant to be” cuz they feel like their relationship is valid, even if it doesn’t match up to society’s expectations. another one is that they are soulmates, but despite knowing that they’re supposed to be the perfect complement to each other, their personalities are incompatible as fuck and honestly it’s a mess of misunderstandings hahaha.
*that nsfw hc mentioned previously does not apply to most of my AUs by the way- ngl there’s a lot of sexual tension in my AUs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Aye that pree much sums up my main headcanons (ノ*゚ー゚)ノ 
ive got a few more headcanons for cop au but that’ll come out another day on another post xD also i have a lot of hcs for other aus that ive never fully developed, perhaps ill post those someday as well lol
also sorry for the wait, i hope ye enjoyed despite this being late (::)
holy shit im so obsessed with these two i spent 4 hours typing+editing this fuck
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meggannn · 7 years
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concrit, and notes for the self
So this is a bit of a weird post I've been wondering how to articulate for a while. I know people have different ideas on fandom courtesy in this regard, and opinions on this topic can be heavily divided.
This is my post to get it out there and say I don't mind, and in fact encrouage, people giving me concrit in my fic in AO3 comments or reblogs. Everyone is different and everyone writes fic for different reasons; some people write for fun and don't care about improving. I totally respect that and that's why I don't offer concrit unless someone specifically asks for it. I'm writing for fun, but I also take my writing seriously, maybe more seriously than I should, so if you've ever read my fic and thought "hm, that bit's not great," please consider this an open invitation to give me all the constructive feedback you want. I try to say I welcome it consistently in my notes when I post fic, but I guess people don't really register that. In fairness, I've seen people say they welcome opinions on their fic and then turn haughty and defensive when someone gives any feedback that isn't praise, but I've always respected writers who freely share the negative concrit they receive (so long as it’s not a troll) because as a reader, it also encourages me to read and interact more with them. If you don't feel comfortable sharing it publicly or want to talk about a certain thing at length, you can always feel free to IM me privately here, or leave the comment on anon on AO3.
This is a weird thing to post on Tumblr, since I don't think I have a big writer presence here, but AO3 doesn't really have a good platform to share this kind of message. And I realize this is a bizarre thing to want to post about -- if I'm not receiving any concrit, like, shouldn't that be a good thing? am I really complaining I'm not receiving any? -- but the few times I have received concrit in the last five years, one was from a friend who knows me well enough to know I welcome it, and the other two were strangers who seemed hesitant to bring it up at all, that made me wonder if they were scared of my reaction so they sandwiched it between complements to soften the blow. I don’t want people to worry about my reaction and apologize for giving negative feedback. I’m always down to talk about ways I can get better. Chances are more likely I’ll probably apologize to you, lol.
Not to say people should look for things to criticize if they think there aren't any -- I'd be flattered -- but I don’t want people thinking giving me concrit will make me resent them, or that bad feelings will fester if we’re mutuals. I promise there isn't anything mean enough you can say about my work I haven't already said to myself. (Though I will say, I'm writing this with the implication people will be reviewing recent or future works judging my talent as a writer now, not dig into my '09-'13 fic history back when I didn't know the word for ellipses and criticize me how I was.)
I have a weird history with concrit (it all started with a flame war back in ‘10...), but now I take the smallest comments from both positive and negative feedback so seriously to the point it does affect how I look at my future works, possibly because most of the feedback fic writers -- including myself -- do receive is just a single bookmark or anonymous kudos with no words attached. Sometimes when I think of people hating my stuff it makes me never want to share anything again, but a large majority of the time when I do receive it, I find that I have a thicker skin than I thought and I'm very easily able to separate the work from my personal feelings. Again: there's nothing anybody can say will be as bad as what I've already told myself, lol.
I'm putting the rest of this behind a cut because it's somewhat related, but it's mostly me blabbing about ways I think I can improve. I've been trying to narrow it down to a few specific areas I want to get better in. Some are going to be on me and only on me to make happen, but I feel like others might better spotted by readers.
This is about to get very mopey and self-indulgent, so if anyone actually reads this bear with me.
Vocabulary. It’s not that I think I have a limited vocabulary, but I think my tendency is to rely on the same words or phrases, which... just feels lazy and fake after a while. @thunderheadfred suggested I don’t try to hard with this one, because trying too hard to include big words can often lend to a convoluted mess, but I think the solution to my problem might just be “read more” and “get creative with how words interact with each other.” Part of this is also just learning relevant jargon or legalese or whatnot and getting familiar with it to the point that I finally don’t feel like I’m playing Mad Libs when I’m talking about something I don’t understand.
General... logic editing. I'm not sure how to describe this one, but I've had moments occasionally while rereading fic where I just think, “Life doesn’t work like that,” or “Megan, you pulled that one completely out of your ass.” You ever just read a fic and think “Goddammit, this makes no sense,” or even with smaller things, just “that’s not how that works”? Some of them are going to be things only specialists will know, which is okay because at that point I feel like learning to get it right is more a bonus than an obligation especially if it’s not plot relevant, but I generally want to make everything as accurate and realistic as possible to the point that the story unfolding in the reader’s head matches the film I’m imagining in mine. Most of the time, I can bullshit my way through stuff I don’t know, but bullshitting also takes talent, which... well. The thing about talent is that you need to have it or develop it, it’s not always something someone can help you with. But still, it’s a bit of a weird problem to articulate when the crux of it comes down to me saing like an idiot, “Uh, I don’t know how things work.” I kinda vaguely know how governments work. My knowledge of science and technology and math is in the negatives. And I don’t have a goddamn clue how the military works, which is a great joke on me for falling in love with a character like Shepard and wanting to write a million fics about them. So, just, part of this is research, but oftentimes research is only half the problem. The other half of the problem is sitting down at my keyboard and thinking “Great, now how am I going to write it?” because more often than not what happens is that the information I just read off Wikipedia or an obscure informative website just collects dust in my brain. I’m trying to be patient with myself about this kind of thing, because on some level I realize I’m pretty damn young and sometimes you just learn things by! going through life! But I am also an impatient ravenclaw motherfucker who wants to be a good writer Right Now. I want to know how things work and how they affect the people around them! I want to be able to make my story and understanding of the world as accurate as possible! I want people to go “yes, this makes absolute sense” not just “oh, that sounds kinda right I guess?” One thing I try to remind myself is, when I think a small thing sounds wrong or try-hard or that that thing doesn’t quite sound right for whatever reason, most of the time, the reader has no idea. The reader might be skimming over it, they may be digesting it without any sense that something is wrong about it whatsoever, hell they might even like it. I mean, if you asked me to read a friend’s fic and point out an error, I’d have to pull out a magnifying glass to find one, and they’d probably be able to recite a laundry list’s worth within five seconds. So there’s that.
Environmental building. I feel like I'm improving on this simply because I've finally started acknowledging where characters are even located in a place at all, lmfao. I'd like to upgrade to "being so good at describing locations and environments that someone other than me can ‘see’ where they are," but atm I'm settling for, "remember to at least TRY to transcribe the physical locale I see in my mind, because half of the time you forget to do even that, dumbass."
Characterization. This is a big one because it affects so much else, namely, the course of the entire fic. I say this all the time to reviewers but I mean it. A fair amount of time I can type on autopilot and it’s like the characters are doing all the work for me, but other times I sit for an hour scratching my head saying “Jesus, what would Varric say in this situation?” and then I realize “Maybe Varric wouldn’t even let himself get into this situation in the first place,” and that starts a whole chain of doubt and thinking about rewriting and actual rewriting while wondering if the rewriting is even necessary. I've recently been able to put my most consistent problem to words, and that's that I will always have staple issues with the POV characters. The nature of my style means that I spend a lot of time in the POV's head, which sometimes means less energy is spent developing their actual actions. E.g., say I write a fic with Shepard as the POV. If Garrus is in the fic, he is absolutely going to be the snarky, confident, more proactive version of himself to make up for all of the angst and moaning I will inevitably write as a result of digging into Shepard's mind. But say I write the same fic with Garrus as the POV. Depending on the time setting, I will be so caught up in his head as he worries about his mom dying and his guilt over losing his team and his place in the Hierarchy or if his dad will ever forgive him or his insecurities over his relationship with Shepard, that Shepard-the-deuteragonist will have to be the talkative, confident marine to draw him out of his own head. And again, imagine this is, like, the same story -- the same story written from a different perspective shouldn’t go a different way! In this example, some of the gap can be excused with the fact that by necessity, the POV has them viewing each other. Garrus and Shepard know each other well enough to know each other's bravado and strength can be a facade for their seriously fucked up emotional issues, so it's not that they imagine the other never has these moments of darker reflection that they do. And the same thing about Varric and Hawke or Hawke and Fenris, etc etc. Depending on how you play them, they could also be looking at each other through rose-colored glasses, or be so used to accepting and supporting the other through their private uncertainties that for the sake of the fic, that what they mostly register in the other is just the best or most confident side of the other's behavior. Narratively, I've realized it might come out of a subliminal urge to balance one's introspective side with the other's more proactive side, which may work sometimes (if they're both serving aggressive roles in the story, for me, the fic might get too 'loud'; if they're both too quiet, it'll just get boring), but most times I feel like it doesn't do justice to the "loud" parts of the POV character, since they are always the one who gets caught in paragraphs on paragraphs of angsty introspection in their own head due to my inability to write anything else. Shepard and Garrus are undeniably “loud” characters no matter how you slice it. Shepard may mope and pine and nearly drown in her depression in her private moments, but she's also a marine, and she’s proactive and brave and assertive. So I'm trying to be hyperaware of when I lose those facets of her personality through the trees when I try to capture the forest that is her darker side. And I would be wholly welcome to anybody who has comments on that type of thing in the future, if I write a character that isn't acting like themself.
This got a lot longer than I thought it would so now I’m not sure how to end it. I think I’m just going to sit in silence for a moment then heat up some soup. Hmm.
ETA: I would be ashamed if I didn’t mention @tetrahedrals, who consistently provides me wonderfully helpful feedback on my ME fic, and none of whose fault this is. All remaining errors in my fic after they’ve been beta’d and workshopped are entirely mine, but she’s helped me a lot to ensure there are far fewer than there might have been. xo
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