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mcshiiin · 4 years

Text

Title: Not My Energy

Pairings: KageHina

Sypnosis: A short, sad songfic about the two where Hinata lost his ability to fly

Song used: Not my Energy by IV of Spades

[A/n: Thank you for reading! I hope u enjoy huhu]

"I've ran out of reasons, reasons to comfort my mind."

Harbingers of daybreak busted his windows open. With gleaming dark eyes and sleek black talons, a crow stared straight to his soul. A sudden prickling sensation running from his toes began clobbering his body, rendering him paralyzed. Panting... Gasping... Drowning his mind in a sea of sorrow.

"Illusions, delusions. Confusions are running inside."

Hinata, despite sinking down the shallow waters feels as if he's floating mid-ar, going "boing boing". Slowly plummeting down the sea floor, he never hit the bottom. Instead, he landed rather harshly on the plywood surface of the gym. A familiar stinging pain on his palm smiled at him viciously. Taken aback, he grabbed his thumping, hollow chest and inhaled as much air as he could. An unforgiving force clashed against his torso, almost obliteraring him before the ceiling collapsed.

"Pale lips and dark lies has conquered the dreamer's eyes."

Poring dreamily at the honey glazed tree tops with hooded eyes, a sigh escaped from his drought ridden lips. While licking away the parchness on his lips, a worried yet kind gaze cut through him from the opened door.

"Sho-kun, you're going to be alright. Don't worry sweetie, we're here for you."

"Nii-chan! Hang in there. I love you!"

The warmth from his sister's hug dissipated into thin air. The soft caress from his Mom ghosted above his puffed out cheeks. Forcing his lips to curl upwards, he fooled them. Just as how their words of affirmation and consolidation were mere lies to comfort him.

" 'Cause there is something in those eyes I can never find, boy."

"Hinata boke..."

Shoyo swore Kageyama's voice were softer than ever. Terrified to face him, the bed ridden boy looked away. His bones shaking. His muscles tensed up.

"I don't want to dive in those same steel blue orbs..."

He kept his mouth silent. He kept his resolve solid. Then it crumbled down.

A feverish touch was ignited from Kageyama's fingertips grazing atop Hinata's trembling hand. The setter is careful enough not to break him, delicately and softly, he slid his hand and interwined it with his partner's. Shoyo's ribcage shattered, his throbbing heart and strained heartstrings tore it down.

His orbs stung with pain as he stared back at steel blue ones.

"I'm sick and tired of the noices, the voices. Everything seems magical."

"We're here for you, Hinata."

"Call us anytime!"

"I'm sure everything will be figured out by the adults. Cheer up, Hinata!"

"Let's buy popsicles when you're discharged, ne Shoyo?"

"Here's some food for you, eat up. You're getting thinner. Ne? I'm the best senpai aren't I?"

"gET WELL SOON AND WE'LL PRAY FOR YOU!"

"Don't worry too much. Idiots don't get sick, tch."

"Tsukki's right, you'll be okay, Hinata."

"I--no we, are here for you. Don't worry about catching up to class, I can teach you anytime!"

"Get some rest and take care please."

"I won't bother you with my words, Hinata-kun. You'll be okay, I'll pray for it."

"Rest up well, kid."

Everything and everyone seemed to pass by in a blur. Their faces muddled together like a murky pond. Indiscernible. Chafing. Quaint. As if it never happened, as if he never heard anything.

"I'm sorry but there's nothing that we can do..."

"D-doctor no-!"

What? He heard nothing. His mother's face didn't crumple to despair. Her hands didn't ball into a fist. Her lips did not quiver. She never looked at him with those eyes.

No. Natsu is a sweet and clingy sister, her hugging him to death is nothing. She always said that his hands are rough, calloused, and big. They're also warm, and emollient. Maybe that's why she's holding it tight. Oh? Natsu is drooling. He chuckled, overseeing the shuddering figure of his dear sister.

Such an ethereal dream it is.

"And yes, my mind is awakened, dead conscience. Eveyday's a torture for me."

Panting heavily whilst swimming in a sea if sweat, Shoyo is wide awake. But, awake from what? Running away from what, his reality or his nightmares? Scampering to and fro, for what? Just to slam his head on a rock, trying to shake his dreams up.

He doesn't know what's hounding hin anymore.

He run a hand through his thick tuft of hair, unable to get back to sleep. A frown creeping up on his lips as he tries to pry his gaze to his legs. His world stilled. His breathing stopped. His mind blown to smithereens.

It hurts. The seering pain from mid-thigh down to his calf. It hurts, so he screamed.

"No I am not holding on to the darkness, 'cause you're already in my mind."

Natsu must be lying, his hands isn't big at all! She probably hasn't seen Kageyama's slender, setter hands. They look also pretty. Tobio's obviously taking good care of it, he bet that he goes as far as taking it to the nail salon. He's both dilligent and an idiot. He wants himself to be in a perfect condition so he can exert his best every game.

Shoyo wonders what lotion his setter is using. He want to buy one for himself too. How irksome it is to look at your partner's long fingers, perfectly groomed nails (it must be nice to have a manicure once), and mosturized, vanilla scented palms whilst yours is anything like that.

"Hmm spacing out?"

Tobio snaked his arms to his frail waist. Nudging his face deep into Shoyo's neck. So warm. So cool. So comfortable. Too real.

"Nah, I'm barely hanging."

"And if you would walk alone, then just do it. The clock is ticking backwards."

A tall, tall wall looms before him. The view from the top. He wants to see it. But he never can, unless alone.

And now, he's more alone than ever.

"Onigiri, pork buns, curry, what do you want honey?"

He's out in the cold again. Jumping higher, digging deeper, receiving with his face to no end. Wheezing as his body thrives, playing as his blood pulsiates. His heart more alive than before. His grin toothier than before. Hinata Shoyo loving too hard ever than before.

The pure joy from he gets from being with the team. The steam he emitts whenever Tsukishima pushes his buttons as Yamaguchi fell in line with laughing at him. The always fidgetty Yachi and Asahi-san. His superb senpais. That reminds him, he need to ask Nishinoya-senpai to teach him the rolling thunder double. The hardworking second years, the goddess Kiyoko-san, everyone. Even Daichi-san's roaring voice along with Suga-san's refreshing smile.

And of course, the skull-crusher milk boy who knows no word except Boke.

"I'm going alone."

"I ain't got it all, I don't care. You're not my energy."

Extending his arms, reaching with his hands, everyone is too far away.

Lying awake for hours, figuring how to run, how to fly.

Then, his bed decided to swallow him up.

A stringent touch engulfed his throat that produced an acrid cry from his mouth. The need for air is urgent, but his compressed windpipes aches with the mere presence of oxygen flowing through. For a second he thought the hold loosen, then his limbs. were vehemently ripped apart.

As blood splattered, his lower region were mangled.

"Your tears are in laughter while your smile is in despair."

Happiness looks good in Kageyama and Natsu. No doubt, hands down, bets raised.

Their carefree laughter bounced off the four walls of his room. Pearly white teeth are exposed as their lips ae stretched up to a smile. As far as their drinking game goes, Natsu is losing. Yes, they're drinking milk, much to Kageyama's delight.

Shoyo lost a long atime ago and the two milk heads are on it. The way their eyebrows knits together in concentration, noses scrunched up, and cheeks puffed out is a sight to see. You don't get to watch Kageyama with a child that doesn't cry within his mere presence, let alone play with him.

"I can't hold it in! I'm going to pee!"

The shorter ball of fluff ran outside as fast as her legs could carry her. Just a little bit more... three more steps... two... then one. She got in!

Natsu came back to her brother wiping his tears as he cackle like a rooster. He reminded her of the Kuroo Tetsurou that he once mentioned, bedhead, hyena laugh and all. When she glanced to her Kageyama-nii-chan, she was almost blinded. His higantic smiles were presented at her boldly. A soft glow from the dying sun illuminated his face. She can feel the love strongly eminating from these two.

Just as the puzzle is coming on together, someone had to filp the table and topple off the pieces.

Whimpers and hiccups. Rattling and rustles. Disintegrating and decaying. Shoyo-nii-chan is crying.

One end of his lips tugged upward. Blood-curling smirk emblazoned on his dainty face. And as she peek at the door opened ajar, tears came rolling down her rosy cheeks, staining the fabric of her shirt with pure sadness that a child can't comprehend. A younger sister shouldn't see her brother's soul being chipped off like that, you know.

"The poison of your tongue has killed all your truthful words."

His throat is a sand paper being stroked on a piece of wood that produces a nasty sound. It aches. It's painful to shout. It's straining. He too doesn't like sound coming off from his mouth. Disdainful words that tarnishes their bond, lacerating sentences that makes him bleed too.

"I don't need you!"

Yes I do.

"Go away!"

Please stay.

"I didn't like the food. It was awful."

They're my favorite, thank you.

"When I said I don't wan't to it, it means I don't! Don't force me!"

Maybe I'm a bit hungry?

"I AM OKAY. I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP I CAN DO IT BY MY FUCKING SELF!"

I am a lost cause.

"Pale lips and dark eyes has broken the dreamer's lies."

He inaudibly shrieked one morning when he woke up. The world was wet with dew as it sleepily waved back at him. He tried to wave back, but the shock of living in monochrome froze him. Then he tumbled down with a thud.

For a moment he forgot what predicament he's in and tried to stand up only to out balance himself and landed face first down their wooden floor. Natsu, who was never asleep the entire night, came rushing by to her brother's room beside hers. Clearly shocked and bemused at her nii-chan's bleeding nose and busted lip, she stood frozen. A part of her wants to laugh but the other half actually feels bad. And good thing she did, because the next scene was horrifying.

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

"N-nii-chan..."

"SEND FUCKING HELP!"

A soul was broken.

"There is something in your mind you can never find, boy."

Searching. Wandering. Roaming around an unprecedented area.

What was he seeking?

He alwas have thought that it was the adrenaline. His heart beating so fast, so loud that he can hear it through his ears. An energy flowing deep within, tingling his senses, pricking under his skin. He enjoys the rush, the pain, the smile in his teammates' lips.

Yet when he stared at Kageyama, he realized it wasn't.

What kept him alive...

"Im sick and tired of the voices, the noises. Everything seems magical."

"Hinata boke..."

"Nii-chan."

"Sho-kun!"

"HINATA SHOYO!"

...was love.

"My eyes are hiding the pavements of my vacancy. You can't take the power from me."

Kageyama wish he could hold Shoyo tighter. Peacefully zoning out in his arms, a small drool pooling below his mouth, and beautiful long lashes. So angelic and breathtaking.

Yet he still fears poring directly in his partner's eyes for they scream,

"I'm going to eat you alive."

Placing a kiss atop his head, a sigh escaped his lips. Then, honey-flecked orbs dangerously stared at him. A tremble was awaken inside his body.

"I love you."

The both of then were taken aback by his sudden words. Hinata was left in awe, speechless while Kageyama quickly recovered his composure. He came into terms with his feelings finally just right now, it's now or never.

"I want you more than any perfect toss. It's you that I want to hit my balls. We're partners, aren't we? I want to be by your side, holding you, loving you. We'll drink hundred liters of milk, we'll eat as many pork buns as you want. I want to spend my life with you."

"Kageyama-kun..."

"I know it'a sudden but Hina--!"

"Loving means being alive. Being alive is being able to love,

But you see, living, is not my energy."

-FIN

#haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#angst #fanfic #songfic #ivos #karasuno #kageyama #tobio #hinata #shoyo #au? maybe?#kagehina

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