theefairygodmother

[theefairygodmother]

New Year, New Experience?

2024? Most times we are making resolutions that we probably won’t keep or getting ready to head out to church for the first AND last time for the year, intentionally & then the year kinda goes by right? Lots of should’ve, would’ve, but didn’t’s.

I challenge you to make every day in 2024 , a BRAND NEW experience. THAT’S RIGHT a 365 day challenge ! Start small & make sure you are intentional with your experiences. What are you trying to accomplish? What am I trying to do differently? What no longer ‘serves’ me?

#2024 #theefairygodmother #millenialblackgirl #365daychallange #happy new year

[theefairygodmother]

Intention or Talk?

To be intentional, you would embody focus & commitment, to things that are truly important to you & you feel contributes to your personal growth & are genuinely fulfilling. You know your clear purpose & can now structure your mind to become more present & help you achieve whatever it is that you desire. Intention is PERSONAL.

5 Questions to ask yourself when being intentional:

What am I giving up? What am I willing to give up? Change? Limit? Go without? Substitute?

Am I being honest with myself?

How does this make me feel? Is this against something I morally stand for, since intention IS personal.

What do I want to gain by this? What do I want to gain by this?How would this add value to who I am? Who i'm becoming?

Am I doing this because I want to? Did I make this decision based of influence or is it gratifying to the person I am now/continuously becoming?

#black tumblr #theefairygodmother #millenialblackgirl

[theefairygodmother]

Thee Fairygodmother !🧚🏾‍♀️

WELCOME! Since my personal style has brought me great satisfaction & confidence in times where spirits & self esteem has been questionable; why not share since I pride myself of being a 'relatable' MHP right?. It (my style), often tells stories & are a form of expression that has subconsciously aided me throughout the years.

Whether it has been the receipt of compliments, curiosity of pieces, hairstyles , accessories , fashion tips, mental health advice — along with just being able to genuinely relate,keeps me going! Even when that isn’t necessarily what I might feel like doing. Having the knowledge, awareness AND having experiences of some; if not all common yet diluted & disregarded unhealthy defenses/responses specific to/from black women who don't feel as if they have the space to just be; being able and available to advise is fulfilling. I choose to share with you the person & the professional comparatively. .. WITH ADDED STYLE OF COURSE

After my own undergo of highs & low's from living the life I was granted by unlearning the things and behaviors that no longer serves my black girl adult experiences -I choose to share personal experiences, skills , coping mechanisms , releases and more that helps me embrace the purpose I was granted. My 'life-styling' tips won't allow you to look or feel like your experiences. Are you willing to challenge yourself on learning how to unlearn?

-Terry-Ann S. C.

#theefairygodmother #mentalhealthawareness #selfawarenessmaven #millenialblackgirl #apieceofme

[theefairygodmother]

Let's get real & abandon self sabotaging habits.

As we grow and have experiences, we learn behaviors that feel like they are just beneficial to us given our environments and current life experiences. PLOT TWIST: though these behaviors may have been helpful and lead us to truly believe that these habits will help us move through and 'handle' life in generally. ABSOLUTELY NOT !. Some if not ALL of those behaviors require a lot of observation , awareness and re-evaluation. Does this really work for me? How does this make me feel? I follow a page on I.G that had a thread that significantly resonated with me at some point in my personal journey and career.

Dating prior, I would just KNOW a person was emotionally unavailable to date me but would still want to try anyway in the name of I physical attraction and 'potential'. I knew better but chose not to do better. There was trauma based comfort and familiarity present. This can happen with friendships too.

I remember beating myself up and blaming myself for the inability of others to change or adapt to change. Often making myself SUFFER thinking it was me - knowing that I did what I could've and the rest was out of my control. My anxiety heighten and the need to be 'self sufficient' was prevalent. There was NO WAY that I would need anyone. This wasn't growth, it was fear and my inability to simply speak up.

Imposter syndrome is real. I've experienced it and still do- but given the proper tools I am able to effectively navigate through. THANK YOU GLENDA ! (My Therapist). I always knew I was 'that girl' growing up, I just wanted everyone else to acknowledge it - and they wouldn't. FRUSTRATING AF. It was out of my control but would still internalize the feeling. It made it so hard for me to truly accept compliments. Like I said, I knew I was THAT girl but I would fight it. Why was it so hard for everyone else to receive that? Self-Awareness and acceptance definitely has been changing that narrative for me! 10/10.

This was the hardest(still is sometimes) since boundaries can be hard to set as they can come of 'selfishly' however, how it comes off ISN'T ANY OF YOUR CONCERN. Not having set any IS YOUR CONCERN. Lack of boundaries can cause immense amounts of stress, wasted time - its as if you're allowing others to tell you what you think and how you feel. #IONTLIKEDAT.

This one I think is pretty self explanatory. LET IT TF GO. It will be hard. You may feel like you can just 'put it to the side'. You might cry. You might get 1billion flashback of 'all the good times'. If you have any RELATIONshitSHIP* that feels like you cannot take up space or be yourself. It is definitely time to transition. It must be uncomfortable there.

#millenialblackgirl #theefairygodmother #black tumblr #mentalhealthawareness

[theefairygodmother]

Adulthood VS Childhood.

As kids, we're so open with who we allowed in our space as 'friends' . All we needed to know was that they had the 64-Pack Crayola Crayons with the built in sharpener & we were SOLD; the making of your first grade BFF. If we knew better, we'd do better and needless to say - we definitely didn't know better but we were along for the ride because FUN was the priority.

Children were ruthless when I as growing up, most times nothing nice came out of our mouths on that playground. Much wasn't required in friendships as children - all that mattered was fun and everything insignificant. There was absolutely no maintenance . The definition of young, wild and carefree.

As teenagers, friendships become more meaningful and can become complex. We're coming into ourselves and discovering our identities and what intimacy includes which means there's some self disclosure and required support in which our friendships come in handy. By this time we’re a more secure in who we are and tend to gravitate to friends that share similar values and likes and begin to invest in these friendships.

Now as an adult.. .

The emotional intelligence has heightened and much more is required from the relationship(s) that we choose to invest in. This time around, we actually know better now that we've had some experience with other individuals, and are aware that people generally don't always mean you well - which makes it harder to make & maintain friends (both old and new as an adult)💡.

Also, we're just busy. There are responsibilities, careers, children and sooo much more - that gets tossed in the mix that we try to juggle! It's giving circus act. There isn't much time to maintain most of the relationships we have. Often times we get together and end up venting about bigger life stresses, bills & partners while nourishing the already existing foundation isn't a priority since subconsciously - the foundation already existed -Right?. . Wrong!As adults we have to be intentional about expanding & maintaining the foundation that originally was built at the core of who we are. The only way to know if the foundation has cracks; is if we're being intentional about wanting to maintain these grounds to continue to flourish.🌷

Innocence is non - existent. As adults we've experienced so much by now to know nothing and nobody is perfect & people can be hurtful - which will change the dynamic of any relationship. Society also has influence because now there added societal standards along with our personal expectations that we’ve developed as a requirement overtime. As adults we want the relationships we invest in to also bring us value; we should be seen, heard, respected, understood & supported - basics.

Self Awareness.

As adults, we're much more self aware than we were as children. Over the years, we've become concerned with what other people may of us think while picking apart our own existence. We know our strengths, weaknesses & desires in life. We have new & far developed ambitions which allows us to us decide who we choose to connect with and keep in our spaces. Life experiences play a major part in adult friendships vs childhood friendships as we gravitate to those with similar wants needs and experiences. While many things set the two apart, it is imperative that we take a step back and acknowledge that a lot of our friendship frustrations as adults are things that we've allowed to developed overtime. GO FIGURE🤯. Being intentional about maintaining the foundations will require lots of accountability, grace and compromise.

So ask yourself, are you intentional with the foundations you've been part of? Where can you step it up? What is now required that wasn't previously required? What do you need to ask for that you've failed to mention? Can you offer all that it is that you require ? How open is your communication? Is this worth maintaining or dismantling?

Theefairygodmother🧚🏾‍♀️

#theefairygodmother #millenialblackgirl #adulthoodVSchildhood

[theefairygodmother]

8 things I've chosen to embrace throughout my 20's.

We've all 'been through some sh*t' that we probably shouldn't have and maybe even felt IT would've taken us TF OUT the "game" - Here are 8 things I've personally embraced with time, experiences and GOD.

Intuition.

Follow that shit. Intuition can feel similar to Fear. Your intuition is ultimately pointing you in in a direction that is subconsciously comfortable -even though you're not too certain. Fear on the other hand ultimately dictates a decision that allows us to 'feel relieved' as if you've just survived a threat- but we didn't . Be very careful as this is often confused. Your intuition allows growth whilst fear does not. Intuition and fear can cohabitate peacefully with self awareness.

Silence.

'Speech is silver but silence is golden', We've all heard that before (or maybe just that last part), but what does it really mean? Sometimes things are just better left unsaid. Silence in my experience allows things to reveal their true nature. Now I can decipher if it's for me or not based on self awareness. Sitting in silence and saying nothing is the better option ;especially if you happen to be emotional. Silence for me meant no drama, arguing, hypocrisy, justifying, no one-upping, no outside distractions. TAKES F*CKING DISCIPLINE. "Still waters run deep while empty vessels make the most sound". Silence is more valuable than any response.

Authenticity.

Be your f**king self. Don't water down who you are to make anyone around you comfortable. Do not dim your light bro. Your calling is different from theirs. Everyone does not always deserve access to you just because they've been a familiar face. You know who you are and the value you embody. There will be people who are intimidated by your presence and will try to box you in where they want you to fit because of their ego & insecurities. NOT YOURS TO DEAL WITH. Move along, it's more freeing to be who you know yourself to be with time and experience. Everyone can't come along for the ride.

Going SOLO?

Just like Beyonce did Destiny's child, Justin did N'Sync & Normani did Fifth Harmony - GO SOLO. Time waits for no one & you probably shouldn't either. Take that trip, go to the movies, go on that date with yourself by yourself. There's this liberating sense of independence as you work through your fears, meet new people & gain real world experience. There's so much you learn about yourself while being all self sufficient and stuff. You won't ever get these years back. Do it tf up!

Single Life!

Embrace it if you've experienced/ing it. The pool has piss and Hennessy in it anyway. LOL J.K.. Kinda. There's personal growth and self discovery - in the works for you ; you bomb ass fine, kindmillennial bae . On your own terms & aware AF of yourself !

Making THE choice.

Stop waiting to be chosen or for them to choose. Their decision will always be based on what works best for them first. 'CHOOSE YOU. Put you first. Make the decision that is comfortable to who you are. It's not selfish at all -It's you finally choosing to consciously consider yourself when it feels like you've been the latter for the longest.

Privacy.

No one needs to know your every move at all times. A private life is indeed a happier life. In your own privacy, you make choices without fear or outside opinions. You create your personal boundaries here and authentically develop your identity - Who YOU are. That simple.

Kindness.

Personally, it feels good to be able to help others - even if its something small. Kind behavior helps to keep life within perspective and it feels like the more I do for others - the more I do for myself. .<don't let this right here go over your head). Your floor may be someone else's ceiling, & you can't break the ceiling if you don't acknowledge the floor. Your kindness can inspire someone else's kindness. It's free-costs $0!

#theefairygodmother #millenialblackgirl #me20's #eraofthe20's

[theefairygodmother]

Dear younger self,

.. I want you to know that it’s not you.

It was never you. They know you didn’t do it. He knew. Say what you saw. Repeat exactly what was said to the respective person. It’s not your job to keep their secrets. You weren’t supposed to see that🙈. That wasn’t for you to hear🙉. You weren’t supposed to experience that. None of it. You didn’t deserve that. People are always going to talk. Let them. You didn’t know better . Now you do. Don’t cover for them. For him. For her. You’re beautiful and worth all your hearts desires and more❣️. You’re worthy of all of your blessings to come✨. Trust yourself. Don’t listen to them. You know exactly what your experience was. They were mean. You didn’t understand. They were not nice or kind. I’m happy you never stooped to their levels when that’s exactly that they deserved. You’re Built🤷🏾‍♀️. You’re definitely beyond your time. I understand you thoroughly because I’ve taken the time to get to understand you. I wanted to. You needed me to. You deserve to be poured into & to be protected. You’re much more intelligent than you truly know. You have no idea the growth you’re going to experience on this journey called life. God makes no mistakes. EVER. Keep going like you’ve been doing but make sure FEEL it as you become your future self. Your lessons are blessings. Fucking Fearless & Ever Evolving. Impressive.🧚🏾‍♀️

#theefairygodmother #youngerself #millennials #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #intentional #influence #black girl magic #lettertoyoungerself #relatable #experience