thenicotinecrew

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Grief does not go away with time, it doesn’t make it easier. Time is, however, needed to learn how to cope with grief and the pain it brings. 

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On Being 18

I am eighteen years old and I feel like I should be more grown up. I’ve always thought of myself as being older than I actually was. I thought I was pretty wise and knew quite a lot. I’ve come to realize more and more, that I’m still so young. I’m not all that wise, but I will grow over the years. Experience will make me a better person. I will learn and develop understanding. 

But right now, being young feels like a burden. At least it does sometimes. A lot of things expect a lot of the youth of this generation. We are expected to fit and also be original, to be intelligent and hard working. We are expected to be disciplined and responsible, to learn and grow and be useful. 

I don’t want to be on the other end of an expectation made by society. I want to be able to be the expecter of my own abilities, so I can only disappoint myself. I want to be able to do all those things above on my own terms and speed and not have to wait in line or rush to make the cut. To force myself into a mold that is created by people I don’t know personally and who don’t know me personally is horrible and stressful. There is so much I want to do but don’t have any energy for, so I still end up disappointing. 

I want to travel, explore things, people, places, and myself too. I want to write and read, not because I have to, but because I enjoy doing it myself. I want to wear whatever the fuck I want without having anybody judging me. 

I just want to gradually form myself instead of taking the shape others want me to. 

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So, this is it the demons inside of your damaged body have stained your eyes black as the night I keep telling myself I don’t believe in the saying the eyes are the window to the soul I pulled you out of some dark places but your soul was never tainted when this is all over, my brother, I do believe the black of your eyes will paint wings wherever you will rest at last

what i imagine will be said by a certain angel in season 10

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Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer grows you.

TheDailyPositive.com (via thedailypozitive)

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Teenage girls are complex beings we trick people into saying we’re pretty and skinny because we need to hear what we hope we need to hear what we don’t see in the mirror we need to believe we are worth more than what we think we are

Teenage girls we drink so we forget what we overthink we smell of cigarette smoke and chemical flowers we grow roses in our hearts that puncture our insides with the thorns

m.f

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last night i had a strange dream

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depression is only temporary darkness. everything is temporary. nothing is truly permanent. people die. memories fade. perspectives shift. so don’t worry, it will pass.

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"Gray" by Pete Wentz

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randomly compliment people because sometimes that will be the only kind words they will hear that day

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me: pssht

friend: *whispers* what

me: frick frack

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camden town-london by Jamahl Gomez

[thenicotinecrew]

Teenage girls are complex beings we trick people into saying we’re pretty and skinny because we need to hear what we hope we need to hear what we don’t see in the mirror we need to believe we are worth more than what we think we are

Teenage girls we drink so we forget what we overthink we smell of cigarette smoke and chemical flowers we grow roses in our hearts that puncture our insides with the thorns

m.f

#poem #poetry #meara fideles #meara #teenage #girls #cigarettes #flowers #symbolic #methaphor

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don’t give up!

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The lump in my throath

It’s easy to just expect a helpful hand when needed im sorry im the kind of person that supplies you one when you need it but we are not equals even though I like to pretend and think we are I know you don’t realize but I do this is a real world I don’t open my eyes as often as I should but it seems you are just blind

m.f.

#friendship #poetry #poem #scribbles #angry #mad #meara fideles