thetoweringmacabre

[thetoweringmacabre]

girls when they literally caused this shit

[thetoweringmacabre]

i think imma ignore this time of my life altogether. dwell on childhood interests or the macabre until something anything happens to me at all

mentally a living corpse

#girlblogger #girly things #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #hyper feminine #female hysteria

[thetoweringmacabre]

nonono I and ONLY I make the media sad. and THEN the media's allowed to make me sad

what if (and hear me out on this) what’s making you sad is the media you chose to consume.

[thetoweringmacabre]

the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire

icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down

cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)

feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated

[thetoweringmacabre]

#reference #can't sit #can't stand

[thetoweringmacabre]

ADHD at night: I could write a book. I could get my Master’s Degree. I could go to the club and come home with 12 new friends. I could get a job at that club and meet the mother of my children. I could cure every disease and use my wealth to bring world peace.

ADHD during the day: Fold laundry too hard :( Come back next week

#not to self diagnose but something is wrong #just something to think about lmao #help me

[thetoweringmacabre]

oh hey shut up :(

me watching the one side of studyblr that genuinely love studying, are always caught up, posting happy updates:

me watching the side full of burnt our gifted kids, late on work, don’t like studying much but want to, here for motivation and documentation (me):

#im in this picture and i dont like it

[thetoweringmacabre]

#i mean im not writing right NOW #but once the depression's out it's over for y'all

[thetoweringmacabre]

god I haven't felt alive in months really just either sad or distracting myself from the sadness and tonight I've just realized i had procrastinated for over two months and i have this research paper I haven't even started to hand over and i was stressed out about something education-related for the first time since june and i was just banging my hand on the desk going crazy and it hit me. omfg i forgot about being sad.

don't worry it came back right after the lesson you can learn from this story is fucking nothing i have no clue what im doing

#too bad i find it easy to evaluate the situation according to MY STANDARDS #cause the only reason i shoud NOT fail #is the sake of my studies and #not the fear of disappointing someone since i have no one tk disappoint #and my superiority complex feels like i can do a decent enough job anyway #but my inferiority complex keeps reminding me im alone anyway lol #kms #academic life #am i right

[thetoweringmacabre]

#my last couple months #how can i stop this #memes #sad memes #mental breakdown

[thetoweringmacabre]

It really hurts when you realize you aren’t their closest friend anymore.

#this is not the right timing for my mental health

[thetoweringmacabre]

i can't explain why but "i love you" / "it'll pass" is genuinely one of the most comforting pieces of dialogue i've ever come across. the context is deliberately sad, the hot priest is walking away from fleabag, choosing religion over love ["oh i don't know what this feeling is" / "is it god or is it me?"] and it's SICK because he loves her too [ "i can't have sex with you because i'll fall in love with you and if i fall in love with you, i won't burst into flames, but my life will be fucked"] but like. it's not a "sad ending" for the sake of being sad and realistic or an unreasonably happy ending preaching love and forever ever-afters. it doesn't villainize or glorify the concept of love or people. it's simply speaking the truth in the simplest of words. you're in love with me and it's going to make you miserable but it'll pass. the pain will lessen and that ache in your chest will fade till it's tolerable. you'll laugh more often. soon it'll be easier to get up in the mornings. this is a law, a rule, a fact. no matter how precious that pain is, how inescapable- it'll pass. even though he's the hot priest and she's fleabag and they're so obviously made to be happily in love w each other- it'll still pass. it's how we're built-to persevere, to survive, to break and be okay again.

[thetoweringmacabre]

aren't we all ????

in case you’re wondering where im at

#coquette #girlblogging #gaslight gatekeep girlboss

[thetoweringmacabre]

they're the real deal

[thetoweringmacabre]

[thetoweringmacabre]

oh sorry i stopped paying attention because i have this intricate fictional narrative going on in the background of my mind at all times nonstop since i was 8 and one of the people in it just said something but i thought of something better so i had to rewind the whole scene to have it play out correctly. can you repeat that please

[thetoweringmacabre]

@i-am-a-fish saving me from my mid-day anxiety ily

pro tip

ur friends don't hate you

nobody is secretly mad at you

you have anxiety and that's ok you are loved