tomicscomics

[tomicscomics]

04/19/2024

John's lucky they hadn't invented buses yet.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY:

In this Bible story, the Sadducees question Peter and John for their recent acts of healing. Peter tells them all their good deeds are done in the Name of Jesus. In this cartoon, he also hedges his testimony by blaming any perceived wrongdoings on John.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Don't tell the Sadducees, but this is another "Tomics Resurrection", where I've taken an old comic from the dead and brought it to life anew. I read the Sadducees were the sect of Jewish leadership more closely related to wealth and status, while the Pharisees were more focused on the religiousiness of religion. For this reason, I made the Sadducees in this new version dress in purple and gold, while the Pharisees might be redesigned to appear in more muted colors. We'll see! In the meantime, how do you think this compares to the original?

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #st peter #st john #sadducees #sad juicies

[tomicscomics]

04/12/2024

Jesus. He's hungry.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: In this Bible story, the apostles are discussing reports of Jesus-sightings post-crucifixion-and-burial. While they talk, Jesus appears before them. All of their gasts are well and truly flabbered, and they think they're seeing a ghost, but Jesus shows them that He's physically present by eating with them. In this cartoon, Jesus asks for the fish, partly to prove He's corporeal, but also because He just went a few days without eating... or breathing.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #apostles #eating to prove youre not a ghost #flabbering all of their gasts #using your flab to prove youre not a ghast

[tomicscomics]

04/05/2024

What do you think Jesus's first word was?

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. "Annunciation" (announcing something) and "enunciation" (pronouncing something) are two words that sound very similar, so I took the Biblical Annunciation (when the angel Gabriel announced Christ's birth to Mary) and set it beside an imagining of Jesus pronouncing -- or enunciating -- His first word. I alluded to this pun a couple weeks ago in a previous cartoon's description, then decided it ought to have its own comic. 2. My sisters suggested "Abba" as Jesus's first word. I thought it was perfect, because it's a plausible first word for a baby, since it's made up of simple syllables -- like "mama" or "dada" -- but it's also got that Son-of-God vibe to it.

#catholic #christian #jesus #cartoon #comic #jesus memes #catholic memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #st gabriel #archangel gabriel #gabriel #joseph #st joseph #mary #blessed virgin mary #holy family #abba #annunciation #enunciation #tomics comics #tom gould

[tomicscomics]

03/31/2024

Happy Easter! He is risen! Hallelujah!

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. Mary Magdalene makes early trips to Jesus's tomb, maybe to anoint His Body with funeral oils, or maybe just to cry. In this cartoon, she refers to these trips as her "mourning routine." The word "mourning" (grieving) sounds like "morning" (the early part of the day). This pun implies that Mary's early daily ritual (her "morning routine") is one of sorrow (hence, "mourning routine"). 2. As Mary approaches Jesus's tomb in John's version of the story, she sees that it's open and hurries to the apostles to have them inspect it. In this cartoon, however, she's too exhausted to recognize what the open tomb implies (that the dead Jesus has somehow left His tomb). She continues into the tomb to wait for Him to return, and only after several minutes does the event literally dawn on her. This particular sunrise has seen the Son rise.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #easter #he is risen #hallelujah #mary magdalene #tomb #dawn of the no longer dead

[tomicscomics]

03/22/2024

Judas bein' kinda... ඞ

(As usual, no cartoon on next week on Good Friday. Tomics will be back on Easter Sunday!)

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: In the Bible, Judas decides to betray God (been there, amirite?) and leads a group of Jewish soldiers to arrest Jesus.  He proposes they lie in wait for the right moment, when he -- Judas -- kisses Jesus in the garden to show them Who to arrest.  The kiss is perfectly ironic, because it's a wholesome symbol of friendship being used as the signal for betrayal.  CLASSIC!  In this cartoon, however, we see the planning phase of Judas's big moment.  Maybe it didn't seem as smooth and Shakespearian to the guards who just wanted to get it over with.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Huhuhu.  You thought you'd get through Lent without one more "Tomics Resurrection" (where I take an old comic from my first few years of Tomics and reinvigorate it with MODERN TECHNIQUE and CUTTING EDGE STYLE)?  Of course you did, FOOL that you are.  Gaze upon the evidence of your FOOLISHNESS, Fool.  Hmm?  A question?  Then speak, Fool, if you can.  Hmm?!  You ask, "In the original, Judas had a full beard, so where did that go in the update?"  Well, I read somewhere in my ancient youth that Eastern icons are split on depicting Judas as one of the younger or older apostles, and so I gave him a patchy pseudo-beard to place him between his bearded and beardless friends in my comics.  Hmm??!  Another question, you say?  You ask, "What about those Roman soldiers?  Where did they go in the update?"  HA!  Simple.  They were all TURNED INTO JEWS BY A WITCH to be more accurate to the modern scholarly consensus that it was probably just Jewish soldiers that arrested Jesus in the garden.  Any more FOOLISH questions, FOOL?!  One more?  Proceed.  Hmm?!?!  You DARE ask, "How are you today?"  FOOL!  Now your FOOLISHNESS is surely at its zenith.  You DARE to fool with ME?  FOOL!!!  I shall only entertain such impudence out of PITY and answer... "'S'all cool, fool."

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #judas #garden #betreacherisms and lies #judas bein a sussy baka

[tomicscomics]

03/15/2024

The Enunciation.

JOKE-OGRAPHY: In this story, Jesus mentions to His followers that He's troubled by the fate He's about to endure, but instead of praying to be spared from that fate, He prays only that His Father uses it to glorify Himself.  Jesus is setting an example of ultimate humility and deference to God's plan.  God replies to Jesus, but His voice catches the crowd off-guard.  Was that really a voice in the clouds, or just thunder?  An angel, or a storm?  In this cartoon, one astute crowd-dweller asks whether they should be more afraid of a storm which threatens "elocution" (clear speech, like from an angel), or a storm which threatens "electrocution" (dangerous injury by electric shock, like from a lightning bolt).  Another even astuter crowd-dweller answers him quickly, saying that being murdered by nature's taser is way worse than well-enunciated words.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #crowd #cloud #storm #angel #lightning #elocution #electrocution #and how a few small sounds can make a shocking difference to clear speech

[tomicscomics]

03/08/2024

If that word was made flesh, I'd punch it.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. The priest, Fr. Mark, is giving a homily during Laetare Sunday (the fourth Sunday of Lent, and a day when priests wear rose-colored vestments).  He notes that, in the first reading, the infidelity of the people of Judah seems infinite, and it defiles their places of worship, and it continues indefinitely.  Because the words "infidelity," "infinite," "defile," and "indefinitely" share many letters and sounds, Fr. Mark starts combining the words together to make hip new words which contain all of their meanings at once.  The evolution of this new word goes thuswise and whenceforth: 1a. INFIDELITY (in-fi-del-i-ty): unfaithfulness. 1b. INFINIDELITY (in-fin-i-del-i-ty): infinite unfaithfulness. 1c. INFINIDEFIDELITY (in-fin-i-def-i-del-i-ty): infinite unfaithfulness which defiles. 1d. INDEFINFINIDEFIDELITY (in-def-in-fin-i-def-i-del-i-ty): infinite unfaithfulness which defiles and continues indefinitely.  Indef(inite) + infini(te) + defi(le) + (infi)delity. 2. Once the ultimate form of the priest's new word is complete and the heroes can no longer stop it's godless birth, one of the parishioners declares that he feels God in the priest's word.  Is this out of genuine religious ecstasy, or out of fear that the new word will destroy everyone who resisted it when it gains sentience?  That, I leave for the scholars to decide.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is yet another "Tomics Resurrection," where I've taken an old cartoon and, much like the priest, remade it with all the hubris I can muster.  The old cartoon only combined "indefinite," "infinite," and "infidelity."  In this new version, I added "defile" to the mix, because that's also in the verse, and contains several of the same letters as the rest of the victims of my chimeric abomination.  Ironic, isn't it?  That I would defile the English language further than ever by using that very word.  But I'm a scientist, after all.  The opportunity was there, so I took it, even if it was taboo.  I can almost hear it murmuring, "Ed...ward?"

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #priest #laetare sunday #rose #tomics comics #tom gould #indefinfinidefidelity #ed...ward #roko's basilisk

[tomicscomics]

03/01/2024

Fo' chisel.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In this Bible story, God gives Moses the Ten Commandments, which will guide the basic morality of His people.  The Commandments aren't clearly numbered in the story, so the Jews, Catholics, and Protestants all split them up differently.  Despite the slight differences in numbering, we all use the same verses and end up with the same general rules.  In this cartoon, I use the Catholic method of numbering them, so the First Commandment is made up of verses 2-6. 2. In the Bible, the first set of tablets were inscribed by God Himself.  In this cartoon, God tries to have Moses write them first, but Moses isn't able to keep up, only finishing the first letter of God's speech by the time He's done.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #moses #god #ten commandments #clicking a chisel like a pen

[tomicscomics]

02/23/2024

Oh, God, you incorrigible goofball!

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: In this Bible story, God asks Abraham to kill his beloved son as a sacrifice.  Abraham is surely mortified, but does as he's told, bringing Isaac to a mountaintop and setting up an altar.  However, just as he's about to slaughter his son, a goat appears, and God says Abraham can sacrifice that instead of his son.  For Christians, this story is both a test of Abraham's faith in God, as well as a foreshadowing of Jesus's sacrifice on the cross.  While mankind deserves death for their sins, a Lamb appears -- Jesus -- and is sacrificed in our stead.  While Abraham's son was spared, God's own Son faces death and triumphs.  Anywho, this cartoon reimagines the moment God asks Abraham to slaughter his son, in stunning technicolor!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: 'Tis the season, it seems, for yet ANOTHER "Tomics Resurrections," where I've redrawn one of my older comics.  Much like most of my original comics, the old one is very desaturated with lots of grays and browns, and while the same essential tone is kept in the new one, I've altered the dialogue to give it a little extra zing.  The only part I regret having to change is "burn him alive."  It's such a jarring phrase, but it's not quite correct, as God's asking for a "burnt offering," and as the custom goes, a sacrificial burnt offering would be killed before being burned, not burned alive.

So how does the new compare to the old?  In this case, the old version is truly ancient (cartoon #29 according to my filing system), which I think makes it about... 10 years old...?  That can't be.  I still remember writing "2014" on stuff.  Oh my gosh... This is a lot to process... I, uh... um... Where was I...?  Oh, yeah... "Tomics Resurrection"!  Woohoo!  Haha...!  Yeah, so the funny thing about the old version is that even IT was technically a resurrection, 'cause it was based on a cartoon I drew in a notebook back in college... before Tomics was a thing... in 2012... oy... Sorry, I have to sit down for a second...

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #abraham #isaac #genesis #genesis 22 #sacrifice #i feel as old as abraham right now #tomics comics

[tomicscomics]

02/16/2024

Luxury.  Refinement.  Power.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. The Holy Spirit asks Jesus if He forgot His lunch, and Jesus responds in the affirmative, as if forgetting His lunch is something He was supposed to do.  The Holy Spirit's question is similar to a mother reminding her children to pack their lunches for school, but the opposite, reminding Jesus to forget His lunch instead of bring it.  This is because Jesus is going into the desert to fast (eat less than usual as a religious sacrifice), so He's not supposed to bring lunch with him. 2. The Bible translation I drew from said, "The Spirit drove Jesus out to the desert."  To "drive" someone can either mean (1) to encourage, cause, or force them to do something; or (2) to take them somewhere by automobile.  In the Bible, they mean the former.  I, being of sound mind and gentle soul, innocently wonder, "Why not both?" 3. Jesus declares that he's "going TO fast" (going to eat less than usual).  But this sounds like "going TOO fast" (going at an irresponsible speed).  The Holy Spirit assumes Jesus is saying the latter, and corrects Him by saying They're going the speed limit (i.e. not too fast). 4. The car is based on the one featured in the hit television program, "Joe Pera Talks With You."  It's a white 2001 Buick Park Avenue, which his students call, "God's car."  Now, it IS God's car.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #holy spirit #holy ghost #joe pera #gods car #desert #fast #fasting #lent

[tomicscomics]

02/14/2024

The dark (chocolate) night of the soul.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: Traditionally, on Valentine's Day, couples buy each other gifts and sweets to show their love.  Emo Emi, being chronically unlikable but also a chocoholic, has resorted to buying herself enough chocolate to put her into two consecutive comas.  She's looking forward to those comas until her parents' darned RELIGION gets in the way.  You see, this year, Valentine's Day falls on Ash Wednesday.  For Christians, Ash Wednesday is a day of fasting, which means no meats, and no sweets.  In this cartoon, Emi vents to her friend, Olga, about how having all this chocolate and not being allowed to eat it is the absolute height of Christian suffering.  Olga tries to chasten Emi by reminding her that some Christians suffer far worse fates than a day without chocolate -- some even die for their faith.  However, in her delusional state of grief, Emi would much rather the death.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Oops, I've done it again.  It's another "Tomics Resurrection" where I redraw a cartoon from a few years ago and, like God on the sixth day, take it from GOOD to VERY GOOD.  This one is from 2018, the last time this same combination of holidays occurred.  Back then, Emi's personality was still in flux.  Now that she's become a more defined character (petulant pseudo-intellectual Christian-wanna-not-be), I had to adjust the dialogue a little, but I think I've kept the same spirit.  Also, back in ye olde yeare ofe 2018e, I apparently didn't respect any semblance of character continuity, so Emi's shape and colors change drastically between the first and second panels.  Must've been a rush job.  Poor 2018 Tom.  Such a child.  Anyway, how do YOU think the new compares to the old?

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #emo emi #valentines day #ash wednesday #fasting #chocolate #dark chocolate night of the soul

[tomicscomics]

02/09/2024

Cleanliness is next to godliness, so we can assume Jesus always had a broom nearby.

Gotta sweep sweep sweep. ___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: In this Bible story, a leper comes to Jesus and asks to be healed by saying, "Lord... if you will it, you can make me clean."  Alas, in English, "make me clean" can be read two ways. 1. "Make me [become] clean."  Where "clean" is an adjective, describing a thing. 2. "Make me clean [something up]."  Where "clean" is a verb, describing an action. Lepers were considered ritually unclean by the Jews.  The leper is asking Jesus to wash away his unclean affliction (meaning #1).  In this cartoon, Jesus messes with him first by misinterpreting his words and ordering him to sweep the road (meaning #2).  This is, as usual, hilarious.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is another one of my world-renown "Tomics Resurrections" where I've dug an old cartoon from its dusty grave and reanimated it with the IV drips of LOVE, the tesla coils of INSPIRATION, and the giant lever of DISSATISFACTION WITH ANY WORK I'VE DONE THAT'S MORE THAN A DAY OLD!  Behold the shambling, groaning result of my hubris!  How does the new version compare to the old?

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #leper #clean #cleanliness is next to godliness #all gods carry brooms

[tomicscomics]

02/02/2024

Hark, Mother.

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. Emo Emi is a snarky teen who enjoys being edgy and showing her parents just how silly their Christian faith is.  Unfortunately, she lacks enough philosophical depth to engage in theological debate.  As such, her attacks are the strawest of men, but her dear mother puts up with them out of love. 2. The chosen verses are not nearly the edgiest quotes the Bible has to offer. 3. Emi asks her mother if these verses have challenged her faith, as if an out-of-context Bible quote is all it would take to shake someone to their foundation.  Her mother says the verses are nothing compared to the constant spiritual battle she wages simply by being the mother of a teen.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #christian memes #jesus memes #tomics #bible #emo emi #throw pillows with the most hard hitting verses #really makes ya think huh

[tomicscomics]

01/26/2024

The pen is mightier than the sword.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. St. Paul wrote many letters to his fledgling churches.  Some were encouraging.  Others were educational.  Still others were disciplinary.  Some of his letter were short while others were very long.  In this cartoon, Paul goes on a writing spree to go on a righting spree. 2. In one of his letters, St. Paul assures his flock that he wants them to be free of anxieties, but for early Christians, following the faith was anything but free of anxiety.  In this cartoon, Paul's quote, "I should like you to be free of anxieties," is taken out of context.  You see, in English, "should" can either be used to emphasize something ("I'd really like you to be free of anxieties") or to say something ought to happen ("I ought to like for you to be free of anxieties").  In this verse, that causes two very different interpretations of Paul's words.  While Paul clearly means the former, I have destabilized the Western world by interpreting it as the latter, causing much anxiety and despair.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #st paul #corinthians #paper tendrils grasping that one shrieking guy in the background

[tomicscomics]

01/19/2024

...but I am okay with that now.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. Jonah is the guy who got eaten by a fish.  Classic story.  He was a prophet, but one day God gave him a mission he didn't want to take.  The city of Nineveh was being evil, and God wanted Jonah to tell them to stop.  Out of fear, Jonah instead hitched a ride on a boat headed in the other direction.  As the boat sailed, however, a storm appeared.  The sailors all assumed God was angry at Jonah, so they tossed him overboard and the storm ended.  Before Jonah drowned, God sent a giant fish to swallow him and keep him alive.  While stuck inside the fish, Jonah apologized to God for running away, and after that, the fish vomited Jonah up on the shore, and Jonah went to Nineveh and warned the people.  To his surprise, the people listened and changed their ways. 2. In this cartoon, Jonah warns the people of Nineveh to change their ways before God destroys them.  He lists a few ways God might exact His justice upon the city.  The last thing he mentions -- the fish thing -- sounds a little out of place as a punishment for a whole city.  That's because the fish thing is actually the way God acted His justice upon Jonah only a short time before he came to Nineveh.  Jonah is still a little bitter.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #jonah #nineveh #prophet #repent said the prophet #to sink or swim

[tomicscomics]

01/12/2024

"Can that tiny pamphlet really contain all of Mosaic law?" Bro.  Sure.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. Following from the last two comics, Mary has to make a sacrifice as a new mother, according to Mosaic law (Leviticus 12:1-8).  As a poor family, she and Joseph can't afford the prescribed sacrifice of one yearling lamb and one turtledove, so they address their "Mosaic Law and You" brochure and see if there are substitute sacrifices they can use.  It turns out there are!  According to Leviticus 12, if they can't afford a lamb, they can sacrifice TWO turtledoves (or pigeons) instead of one.  "Two turtledoves" is one of the lyrics in the song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas," so in this cartoon, I add a list of other possible substitute sacrifices as if the song is an extension of the Leviticus law.  It is not.  I am a lying liar, who has lied. 2. "What's a french?" reflects the fact that Mary has no idea what "french" means.  Back in ye olde Bible dayes, France did not exist in its current form, as St. Joan of Arc hadn't yet slain the titan, Grumblebuff, whose head became England and whose body formed the rest of Europe.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #nativity #mosaic law #leviticus #two turtledoves #three french hens #grumblebuff

[tomicscomics]

01/05/2024

"If you cannot afford a lamb, one will be appointed to you."

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. Joseph continues reading about Jewish law from his brochure (continued from last week's cartoon).  In Jewish tradition, the sacrifice for a newborn boy was typically one yearling lamb (for the sin offering) and one turtledove (for the burnt offering).  As Mary and Joseph discuss this, the Holy Spirit (a dove, but not for sacrifice) shows up to give a knowing glance at Baby Jesus.  You see, Jesus is called the "Lamb of God," and His mission is to be sacrificed for our sins, so it's ironic that His parents are required to sacrifice a lamb for HIM under Jewish law. 2. A few commenters last week were concerned about Mary and Joseph sleeping too close together in their blanket fort, as it challenges the perpetual virginity of Mary (a core Catholic belief).  I argue that Mary and Joseph are a poor married couple sleeping in a barn that's open to the cold and creatures of nature, so the chaste and honorable Joseph would probably stay near his Holy Family for their protection, instead of sleeping apart and leaving them vulnerable.  No scandal here! 3. A few commenters last week argued about the perpetual virginity of Mary (the belief that she remained a virgin after Jesus's birth; a belief held by the early Church even before the Bible was canonized).  I just wanted to say that I'm thrilled and honored that my comics appeal to people of all religions, including other Christian denominations.  It moves me every time I get a comment from someone who isn't Catholic but loves my work.  That said, I AM Catholic, so please understand that my comics follow the canon of Catholicism when I can help it.  No hard feelings.  Of course, you're all welcome to continue giving me suggestions and debating in the comments (good-naturedly, of course).  I've learned so much by listening and looking into your apologetics.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #catholic memes #jesus memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #nativity #jewish law brochure #mosaic law #sacrifice #lamb of god #holy spirit #baby jesus #holy family #blessed virgin mary #saint joseph #mother mary