a South Downs thing I got stuck in my head
"Crowley dear what are you doing?" Aziraphale enquired, having found him sitting on the ground at the bottom of the garden, hissing.
"Angel! oh, yes, there's an adder that lives in the bushes down there." the demon pointed, as if this clarified anything at all.
"An adder?"
"Britain's only venomous snake," he said proudly. "I've made friends with this one, so I can ask him a favour."
"Yes...?" Aziraphale prompted, only mildly concerned.
"Well yes, because I've been growing strawberries and," he sighed, "I was going to surprise you with them, so you could make some of those tarts you like, but then these mice came and ate half of them before they'd even ripened, so I've asked Sid here," at this he nodded towards the bush where Sid the snake was listening intently, "if he wouldn't mind clearing out the mice out of our garden so I can harvest some strawberries. for you."
Aziraphale beamed, and kissed Crowley on the top of the head. "Pass on my love to your friend. I'll see you back in the cottage when you're done in the garden."
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Saw this meme with Bert and Ernie, and knew just what to do with it 😌
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we've all got like a couple years or so to get mentally healthy enough to cope. use this as your incentive to get therapy
I’m on the edge of wanting it to happen and praying Neil has never thought of that
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stop judging me and let me enjoy my blasphemous p*rnography in peace
blep blep
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edited this.
Better.
I’m so sorry to the guys who ended up being my muses this time. It’s not deliberate.
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I fully believe this has happened at some point and they just refuse to talk about it
The brain rot is real and present and will not be leaving for a very long time
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They aren’t wrong
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Crowley: I wear dark glasses so no one can see what i’m looking at
Aziraphale: Dear…
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wait. back up back up.
is this... is it canon that they talked more than just that one time? were they... angel friends?
I can't cope with this I'm so excited I might actually vomit
I'm confused about the GO timeline. When Crowley and Aziraphale first meet, we learn that They will be "shutting all this down again in about 6,000 years.". But Crowley tells Nina and Maggie that he and Aziraphale have been talking for millions of years. How is that possible?
Because there was lots of Good Omens angel time before Earth Time started.
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"Crowley, the spare room is full of car radios. is there... a particular reason for this?" Aziraphale frowned.
"oh. oh, yeah. I'm... looking after them. for a friend. they're not stolen," Crowley said quickly, in the manner of someone without a guilty conscience. "and I have to go out this afternoon. I've got... er... a mobile phone contract to... sort out."
"you don't have any friends," the angel said, without malice. a simple fact. "the shovels? the spray paint? the mysterious computer that has instructions on how to hack the stock market on it, those belong to uh, your friend, as well?"
"oh, yeah. they're for the coffee shop. they belong to... the coffee one. Mina? great friend of mine. what do you need the space in the spare room for, anyway?"
Aziraphale shuffled from foot to foot, thinking as quickly as he could. "well certainly not for any good deeds, obviously. a neutral act of... getting some books to children who need them. a completely reasonable act of retirement. and if you need some coins for any neutral deeds there's a jar of them behind the woolly hats I'm not going to hand out to cold people in the winter."
I just know Aziraphale and Crowley will end up retired the way Pestilence is retired. Going on and on about how relaxed they are and how happy they are not to be working, meanwhile you glance at their calendar out of the corner of your eye and take immediate psychic damage.
(every retiree I’ve ever met is like this)
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plantroom
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There's a story of questionable veracity about Harry Houdini performing an escape in which his wife passes him a key with a kiss.
I keep thinking about this story when I think about the kiss Crowley and Aziraphale share.
For me, it comes down to this: the fight between them is real. It has to be, because handwaving such an emotional scene as "for show" would be deeply unsatisfying. On top of that, it's consistent with the flawed beliefs that each of them carry. Crowley wants to run away to the stars, Aziraphale wants to Speak to the Manager about Heaven. There's no reason to think the scene is a lie, because if they were both telling the truth, that's what it would look like.
And yet. In a season that's all about misdirection and performance, I can't help but think there's something more going on. I haven't been fully convinced by any theory I've come across yet, including my own, but I do think there's an undeniable sense of waiting, of watching for the twist.
If the fight was real then where is the performance? Could the kiss have been real, and still misdirection? It's all an appeal, Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay, but maybe it's something else too. Maybe it's, stay, please stay, but if you won't, at least hold onto a way back to me. I'm not gonna pretend I know anything for sure. I just keep thinking about Houdini's wife kissing him, and slipping him a key.
As for what Crowley might have given Aziraphale, all I have is speculation. I've thought about this a lot and I can't come up with anything obvious placed earlier in the story that might help. But if I were going to guess? I'd say Crowley gave him the same thing he asked Aziraphale for back in 1862.
Insurance.
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The husbands meet the wives.
Crowley(s): Stay away from my angel, bitch!!!
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Aziraphale: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Crowley: It was autocorrect.
Aziraphale: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Crowley: Yes.
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The picnic - (2023)
"Aww, You see! Isn’t a picnic a good idea ? And this linen shirt I gave you Iooks absolutely lovely on you."
"Argh...I don't know...I guess! Not sure about the shirt, though: it's not really my color."
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You know you're fucking up when the gal that's supposed to be THE demon, THE temptress, THE Serpen of Eden, is looking at you like this after you tell them what your God is doing
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