williamrayshine-jr

[williamrayshine-jr]

I had to walk tot he park just to use wifi.... Now my calves are on fire 😁👍. Caught my exercise for today. But I have to walk back home afterwards 🥺😅

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[williamrayshine-jr]

I've never had the courage to flirt with a man in public... Cause like what if my gaydar is wrong and a make a complete FOOL of myself 😂😂.. I mean I do have a thing for straight married men, & LIKE I have very bad 'DADDY ISSUES'

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[williamrayshine-jr]

Most of the time I'm in edge because I'm so used to people holding my hand telling me everything is going to be okay... Now I have nobody to hold onto & now I'm left naked & afraid.. Wishing that I was a kid again...

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[williamrayshine-jr]

Good morning tumblr mutuals!! 💘. How was everyones week this far??

Today's post is going to be of a man with hopes and dreams of becoming a journalist, or a consistent blogger of the thing we like called 'poetry '

As some of you may not know I use this first blog so unload my emotions an how I feel as a thing of therapy, because I don't have the cash or the health insurance to trauma dump on some psychologist or a psychiatrist.

Second, although I have family to talk to, everyone e has people they could talk to and I'm left talking to myself cause nobody wanted to hear what I have to say, so Im pretty much alone and stuck with being a depressed ass bitch for my entire life.. So it's never ending and now I'm aced with the harsh truth that my family doesn't give a blind shit about me...

Third,

Poetry honestly helps me ride myself of the demons I face daily... I'm constantly in mental battle that requires my full energy & physical attention..sometimes I wish I could just press the pause button and fast forward to when I get out of the massacre of a wasteland.

If you are enjoying these types of venting/dump typa posts these please fav and follow me for more of my problems and get me out of this mess!!

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[williamrayshine-jr]

So WOW a face is to astonish a brow.

The most wow, that's frowned upon, too worn out to feel less of man that adapts to a setting such as abuse, or sexual misconduct, on the inside goes fucked up, a basket case that's been ran away by townspeople, what a dirty mischievous gay specimen who's lies carry him to narcissism, he's not to be passive in his acts of sexual intercourse.

But fairly as we know it, hes gaining such strength to feel like himself again, like a warrior without his sword, like a night guard without his gun.

Oh what he longs for is another man's touch, which will bring him back to life, compassion so driven until he's been beaten passionately from behind by the love his life.. He's just unsure of himself being able to come face to face with his emotions, his demons corrupting him, making sure they done their job as an elite system to blanket him in their warmth so he'd do whatever they want.

But what if he's had enough of those voices??? What if one of these days he wakes up and refuses to bury the truth that there will never be a human being that's like him to cross his path & reverse his curse. He's so determined to acknowledge the past, only to embrace the present and keep his heart open for the future.

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[williamrayshine-jr]

Good morning & HAPPY FRIDAY!!

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[williamrayshine-jr]

"I've tripped the alarm- it's been tripped.. It's whipped out of the corner like a great white shark.

Fiery, fietsy and fighting to take a chunk of my skin, snacking on my blood, now it's been fed- I've been drained crawling outward from the swarm of man eating sea creatures swallowing the second wall of my season, my skin floating to the surface. "

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[williamrayshine-jr]

Life update... I'm single again, WTF MAN.

Ehh, did not like his ass anyway 😂.

Be gone my nigga.

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[williamrayshine-jr]

I feel compulsed to unfold with the trolls that call themselves unteachable, the stubborn bastards that talk be beneath my feet, only I could see them- they've been torturing me for soo long.

I hear them in my sleep, fumbling through my thins, laughing at how broken I am, eating my clothes, munching and crunching on my sadness. -

Don't I feel like the bothersome child that speaks up when I need help defeating these sons a bitches.

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[williamrayshine-jr]

Sooo.. I think it's time I post a life update...

So recently if been in my emotions, for what reason I have no I drea.. But as I usually DO...

I come to this blog & I release what I feel unto this digital scratch note of white paper. I've gotten back into a relationship with someone. Not going to start posting abt him until I know for sure that he deserves a spot in my blog.

First

My mental health has been shit, I've re-downloaded an app that o said I was never going to download again, I'm with a bunch of human beings that I care nothing about but I'm trying to find a plug to stop the pain that I feel for HIM. The feeling of the whole in my heart hasn't left yet & I'm worried about myself going forward with sh soon. - I don't have anyone to talk to, HELL I barely talk to my new boyfriend about how I'm feeling, case it always has to deal with my ex (that bastard broke me & took half of my soul from me.. That kinda shit doesn't just happen tO ANYONE...

Second-

I regret cutting off that girl who was learning to love herself again.. But I just couldn't help but disappear cause I'm stuck in this dark hole of emotions about everything & Alli could do is feel like a failure to everyone cause I can't figure out what to do with my life. Constantly lying to myself that a change is coming, hoping onto the shred of faith that I've left behind with everything of my past...

I just can't get myself to help the feeling of being dead inside. I stopped trying, I have no right in me left. The rest of it is gone along with my humanity...

On the bright side... I have someonne in my life that actually at least gives a damn about me I think.. But I just feeling like he's using me for a sex toy, who knows... I'm all I know is, when shit like this happens to me it's too good to be true. He keeps threatening to block me and leave m and stuff like that.. He doest know that shit is killing me even faster inside.

- sincerely, @williamrayshine-jr

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[williamrayshine-jr]

I think blogshot.com is gone 😢 I tried clicking your link in bio and it's for sale on GoDaddy

Thanks for telling me. I'll try & set another link for that.

[williamrayshine-jr]

SOOO I'M BORED.. (AS usual...)

So I decided to come on here & post something.

Trying to stay consistent with posts.. But I'm lame & mad boring so my posts are either relateable

Or it just doesn't make fucking sense.. But it'll make sense when you really read between the lines of it LIKE THIS ONE 😂.

>>> mood :just really wish I had a Caucasian tatted papi wrapping my in his big strong arms, biting my cheeks like an apple 😑👀. Yes, peirce my shit zaddyy 😂.

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[williamrayshine-jr]

"I see his shadow EVERYWHERE...the guilt of leaving him torturing me... Why am I to blame for what he's done to me... Why do I have to suffer this darkness that's been placed upon me like a grey cloud brewing a hell storm that I could never get out of. "

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[williamrayshine-jr]

"Insisted, on insisting the idea of an ideal experience where the external force from below exploding inside of my hollowed corpse with a half a soul, a steady constant revving up looks a race car speeding around the sharp corners of a track with dangerous obstacles, blowing up due to the impact of sound, is the what anger feels like when you've held on to that emotion, like a ticking time bomb, counting down from 1,000. "

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[williamrayshine-jr]

Hi!! Thanks for viewing my blog!. I am your friendly neighborhood, emotional poet @williamrayshine-jr here! -

Please feel free to look around & like my feed, DO NOT REBLOG!!! , REBLOGGING WILL RESULT IN A BAN!!.

I look forward to sharing my thoughts & opinions with the world. This is my own personal, dairy of thoughts tht are subjectively written on the internet.

[williamrayshine-jr]

"I have resisted many of my temptations, tasting the air, fairly trusting g the worlds of another soul that's like mine, someone of a hive mind.. Like eleven & mike. I've seen that scene a thousand times in my head reacting to its attempt to move their viewers with love & anger, rage, disgust & more anger."

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[williamrayshine-jr]

I feel drained of my fucking happiness... 🥺 where did my emotions actually go.

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