welcome home, red | natasha romanoff
synopsis: natasha knew going on a mission where you were deliberately left out was a bad idea. going on a mission tracking down your ex-girlfriend was even worse; for natasha finally learns how jealous she can get.
natasha romanoff x reader | felicia hardy x reader
word count: 6.7k words
a/n: i see your requests for jealous!natasha with spidey!reader, and i got you :) hope you enjoy!
masterlist
BREAKING NEWS: CURIOSITY KILLS THE CAT?
you know what they say, strike when the iron is hot! well, the black cat, infamous for her string of break-ins and robberies, may have struck the iron and burned herself. stealing a prized necklace from the wife of new yorkâs biggest crime boss, the black cat has certainly outdone herself this time, because silvio manfredi is out for her head, and everyone elseâs too! read more on page 6 of this exclusive piece.Â
perplexed expressions, furrowed eyebrows, sighs of frustration. everyone was on edge, at the threat of the manfredi family wanting to blow up entire parts of new york in order to find the black cat. villains were so dramatic, natasha thought. in no universe would she have ever wanted to threaten to kill entire cities for the love of her life, if one even existed.Â
but then her phone chimed in with a notification from you, sending a photo of her favourite animal that you spotted on your mission, and she knew she would be retracting her words. even in life-threatening, death-defying missions that you were on, you never forgot to see her everywhere you went. stupid feelings, and stupid crushes, natasha shut her eyes, fighting the urge to giggle at a text from the person she was head over heels for.Â
ânatasha?â
she looked up from her phone, to realise she was the only one still in a half-positive mood. everyone else was biting their lips in worry. she regained her composure, and answered fury, âyeah?â
âyou heard me? weâre not leaking this information to her. she wonât be a part of this mission at all.â
the look of confusion on her face gave her away. clint, maria, and fury answered her at the same time.Â
âyour little crush.â
âyour wife that you claim isnât.â
âthe person youâre smiling at your phone like an idiot at.â
she glared at clint for the last remark.Â
â...is there a reason why?â the mission had seemed almost perfectly suited to your skillset.Â
fury merely shrugged. âno reason. it should just be you three that are privy to this information, thatâs all. find the black cat, find the necklace, use it to rope manfredi in, and one less crime boss off the streets.â
even then, she had a nagging feeling that he had not been telling the truth.
âÂ
you ended your latest mission with a bang; quite literally. being flung about fifty metres into the air from a bomb explosion in the middle of the ocean, you would hardly call the mission a failure. no civilians were injured, you had killed the maker of the bomb along with it, and you were not dead, at least.Â
washing up on shore unconscious and with water in your lungs? a concussion that would have sent any regular person into a permanent coma? being found by villagers and rushed to the medical wing of the avengers tower within a span of a few hours? almost pronounced dead on arrival? sure, you were all of those, but not dead.Â
honestly, you would have given very little regard for your own life being lost in that mission if not for one person. the one person who stayed with you until the very last minute for her own mission.Â
âi need to stop welcoming you back in a hospital bed, you know,â natasha grumbled into your neck, hugging you bone-crushingly when you awoke and smiled at her.Â
she looked mad, but you knew she was just thankful you were home. you wrapped your arms around her waist and brought her to lie down on top of you. she was reluctant to crush your already broken ribs, but you were insistent. âi missed you too. and if i hadnât been blown up, i had planned to bring back a souvenir from the airport for you.â
âyou coming back is enough for me,â she mumbled. you knew she was never this vulnerable with anyone else. the words of because i love you were begging to roll off her tongue, but natasha knew she wasnât strong enough for that. yet.
you let her ignore the first call for her to assemble at the loading zone, then the second, by the third, your hand had tapped her waist and she had groaned into you once more. âi donât want to go.â
âwhatâs this mission about, anyway? nobodyâs told me about it since i got here.â
natasha considered her choice of words for a moment, considering whether she should, when furyâs own warnings came back to her. she was never one to break promises. âjust someâŚthing. about retrieving something and using it to lure a criminal.â
you chuckled. âseems like more of a police case than an avengerâs one. or one for a friendly neighbourhood spider.â
âwell, the friendly neighbourhood spider looks like a mummy right now, so i donât think so,â she had reluctantly got up, gathering her things, âiâll see you in a few days?â
you let her hug you goodbye. âby then, iâll be fit enough to welcome you home. properly.â
â
natasha once again found it hard to understand why fury hadnât just waited for you to get slightly better, and go for this mission yourself, because the black catâs tricks and games were definitely something you could have handled better than anyone he had assigned on the current team. she struggled to even catch up with the woman, and clintâs arrows often couldnât squeeze deep enough into the slips and cracks she was slipping through. maria couldnât even get a shot or trap clear to get to her. it would all have been solved so quickly with your webs zipping and getting to her; not to mention your ability to soar through the skies like she could.Â
this was in addition to the fact that she was adamantly denying having the necklace with her.Â
with another hit to the face, she was shouting to natasha, âi donât have what youâre looking for!â
natasha swallowed the blood gathering in her mouth. the woman could throw a punch. âthen why are you running?â
black cat cornered her this time, slamming her against the wall as her breath mixed with natashaâs. immediately, it was too close, far too close. the grin that the enemy was sporting for her was glinting with mischief, and a trace of attraction. â...if someone as pretty as you were chasing me, with those fiery eyes and red hair of yours, who wouldnât?âÂ
she was gone before natasha could catch her next breath, handcuffing the black widow to the pipe next to her. she had come so close. natasha knew the black cat was at her witâs end as well; there was only so far she could run from the avengers.
â
however, one thing the woman had failed to consider, was how suspicious you found the entire operation being. rarely had natasha refused to tell you about the missions she was going on, and rarely did fury put so much emphasis in hiding it from you either.Â
you werenât in favour of stalking them, per se, but what were you supposed to do? the hospital wing was boring, and you were (almost) ready to go back to full, operational missions. the broken rib was only hurting a little bit, by that point.Â
you watched maria through the tracker in her suit, flipping through yet another string of messages natasha had left unanswered. she never failed to reply to you, at least not beyond a day or two.Â
sighing, you put your mask back on, and dived down the building to begin your chase. the team wasnât far away.Â
â
âwe got her. hill should be able to lure her into the construction site.â clintâs comms crackled in natashaâs ear, and she set herself into position. finally, one of the traps maria had set worked. minimal casualties, a faraway location. the team should be able to interrogate her there.
natasha finally caught up. the black cat, panting and looking slightly less composed, had nowhere to run. she knew clint was on the roof, and maria was nearby. there was only the waters behind her to escape to.Â
she aimed her gun, then, âletâs make this a lot easier for all of us. you hand us the necklace, youâre looking at a shorter jail term. months, maybe.â
the black cat only returned with another smart retort, before trying to take aim at maria above. she cursed and flinched when the agent successfully dodged. natasha, i am letting the arrow fly if she tries to get any closer to you, clint declared in her comms. natasha agreed.Â
the woman took one step closer, natasha clicked her gun.Â
âyou have to let me go,â she explained, âthey want me as bad as you do.â
âyouâd rather come with us, or die with them?â
black cat sighed irritatedly. she darted her eyes once more, and the moment she spotted something in the sky, the ground beneath natasha suddenly shook.Â
she could only see clintâs arrow fly at the corner of her vision; maria ducking down after something hit her, and then, her own gun flying out of her hands. natasha hit the ground right after, rolling away consciously to avoid whatever had caused the interruption.Â
the second she gathered her bearings, however, it felt like time had stopped. her heart began beating rapidly, and she knew she should have just bypassed furyâs advice right away then. if she had, she wouldnât be dealing with this right now.Â
for if she had, natasha wouldnât be staring down at you, standing in front of the black cat protectively, glaring at the three of them, and their weapons confiscated and broken into pieces right at your feet.Â
â
you had never looked more angry. in fact, natasha had never even seen you this angry before. fists clenched, your stance was protective, the eye lenses narrowed and squinting down at her in rage. she had never been subject to even an ounce of irritation from you before. natasha was almost afraid of what would happen.Â
thankfully, clint and maria had come down from where they were, clint with considerably more caution in his step than he had been much earlier.
he called your name, and, âi need you to calm down. weââ
ââi donât need to hear an explanation.â you cut him off. behind you, the black cat grinned, and came a little closer. you seemed to pay her no mind.
âwe couldnât tell you,â maria tried helping him, but the glare you shot at her wasnât much better.
âyou absolutely could,â then, your eyes met natashaâs, and she wanted to crumble under your gaze, âyou absolutely could.â
clint pointed out it wasnât fair, that you knew how these things went, and then, in a lower tone, âshe doesnât know. let it go.â
âwhy were you chasing her?â you only replied, shielding the black cat when maria tried aiming her spare gun as the woman came to your side, âwe had a deal.â
âour deal didnât involve her stealing a necklace that could wreck cities. youâve already seen the bombings down in harlem and hellâs kitchen, do you still want to protect her for this one?âÂ
your facade cracked in the slightest bit. only natasha noticed, but your eyes had gone slightly wider, a questioning look sent to the woman behind you. with your stance a little more tense, you were about to lower the hand protecting her, when natasha quickly realised that your confrontation had bought her just enough time.
the black cat slung her arms around your torso, and pressed a kiss to your cheek before whispering, âmy hero, my spider. always coming to save me.âÂ
all natasha saw was blind rage before the tear gas that black cat had thrown shrouded everything else in pain and smoke. she could hear clint screaming in frustration of just what it meant.
by the time the team had torn through the gas, you and her were gone.
â
clint had exactly three seconds to register the mad woman storming towards him, before he was slammed against the wall with natashaâs face up in his. he breathed heavily, the air still thick from the gas, but natashaâs fists were enough to ground him back to reality.
âalright, enough games. i was kind then, iâm not feeling so kind now. who. exactly. is. this. black. cat?â she gritted her teeth saying the last few words, the searing memory of seeing another press her lips against you still fresh in her mind.
if he wasnât so afraid for his life, clint would almost have found the jealousy and possessiveness natasha claimed she never had over you quite funny.Â
but her hands were almost choking him by then, the anger coursing through her veins and the hurt of you keeping such a huge secret from her fuelling only her rage.
had she been a fool for trusting that you would stay loyal in your pure, unbridled love for her all this while? perhaps not. perhaps you, like everyone else, got tired of waiting for her to be ready, too. perhaps you werenât what she thought you were after all.Â
when it was clear the archer couldnât find the words to tell her, maria answered for him. she pulled natasha away, and forced her to think clearly again.
finally, when she was calm enough to hear the both of them out, maria announced that the black cat, felicia hardy, had been your ex-girlfriend.
â
while felicia was more than happy to be swinging through the city in your arms again, you were getting more and more anxious; what clint had said still ringing in your ears. surely, felicia wouldnât do that, she wouldnât risk her life, and so many othersâ, like that. surely, she wasnât so stupid.
you landed abruptly through her apartment window, shattering the glass to her kitchen and throwing the both of you on the ground. felicia groaned at the rough landing, and you had half a mind to apologise for getting distracted and missing the window, but you remembered that you should be even angrier at her.
âwhat the hell were you doing?â you interrogated, and when it appeared that felicia was keen on escaping, your webs were binding her to the dining room chair. âstealing a necklace, i donât care. but stealing manfrediâs wifeâs necklace!â
âaw, so you do still care about me, spider,â felicia cooed as you took off your mask and sat across from her. you had wanted to shake her in frustration, to give you answers instead of flirting with you once again.
you held your hands out in front of her, and she continued, âbringing me home, swinging through the city, just like we used to. bailing me out from your stupid friends, trying to save the world. youâve always been a romantic.â
âtheyâre my colleagues. and my family now too. youâŚfeliciaâŚwhy?â you still couldnât wrap your head around why she had decided to steal that necklace, of all things. it was not like she needed the cash, and if she had wanted to find a way to fuck around and feed her kleptomania, there were so many other necklaces that were beautiful, worthy of stealing. surely not manfrediâs.
she shot you a dopey smile, and you sighed in frustration. there was always back and forth with felicia. âspider, spiderâŚâ
you stood to clear your head before you would resort to punching her, time being of the essence with so many parts of new york being bombed and her being her usual self around you. heading to her sink, you let the water run; you couldnât hurt felicia even if you tried. damn yourself for never being able to do so.
but then, her voice was softer, kinder. â...you never considered if what your friends are saying is the truth?â
head hung low, you gazed up to her. the webs were gone, and she was standing over you, though keeping a safe distance. she knew you were still fuming, and confused, and feeling so many things at once. she continued, âyou never considered the fact that maybe, just maybe, i didnât steal the necklace? you blindly trust your friends, just like that?â
your spider senses werenât tingling. she was being honest. switching off the tap, you turned to face her, and she took off her own goggles, letting her hair down. this was her best attempt at being vulnerable. but you werenât so quick to fall for it; she had gotten past your defences before. âtheyâre better at being honest than you are.â
you missed the hurt look that flashed on her face momentarily. then, you stood straighter, a hand gripping the counter as you steadied yourself and what you were about to say.Â
shaking your head, you faced felicia with, âthis, this, is why we broke up. because you canât stop lying, and you canât keep the life of crime behind you. even when i told you i canât stay with you because of it, even when i told you thatâŚif you gave it all up, i would have done anything, anything, to provide for the both of us. i wouldâve even left SHIELD, the avengers, everything, for you.â
felicia bit her lip then, crossing over the threshold between the living room and kitchen, standing before you. you werenât on your guard anymore. she put up a hand to your cheek, the sharp claws slowly running through soft skin. she could have scratched a permanent scar there and you would have let her.
she could have let her emotions run, but felicia was always better than you were at keeping matters close to her heart guarded. instead, she scoffed, and said, âthe red one. out of your friends earlier. iâve never seen her before.â
âsheâsâŚnewer.â
âsheâs pretty. smart, capable, quick on her feet.â felicia pointed out. you nodded your head, the thought of natasha being mad, and confused, suddenly sending a wave of guilt through your heart. you shouldnât have gotten so angry with her. she didnât know.
âshe was also green with jealousy when i kissed you on the cheek,â felicia giggled, and you looked up sharply. she nodded, and continued, âare you and red together now?â
you blinked, almost letting your guard down, almost telling felicia everything. that you wished you were together with red, that you loved red more than you loved anything else, that red was all that you ever wanted. and that red, mostly, was not ready for it all, but you would gladly wait for red until she was. that you would do anything for red. thatâ
âdonât touch her.â you warned, voice suddenly serious. the hand on your face was removed, a death grip with your own. felicia smiled.Â
âso protective, spider. i miss when you were that protective over me.â
she removed her hand from your own, and walked to her bathroom, before bringing out her first-aid kit. clint had shot an arrow that managed to slice past her thigh. you watched as she nursed herself back to health, not flinching even as she invited you to come over to help.Â
felicia could tell you had a lot on your mind. bringing up natasha was probably not a good choice. but felicia still cared for you, at the very least, and helped put you out of your misery by saying, later on, âi didnât steal the necklace, you know. iâm telling the truth.â
your eyes were still fixed on her from where you were in the kitchen. she sighed. âthe avengers, and practically everybody else, think itâs me. and of course, i fit the description, i fit the motive, everything. it was so easy to pin it on me and let everyone chase after me. but i didnât steal the fucking necklace. i found out about it being gone and me being a thief the same time you all did.â
â...then why did you run?â
she scoffed, as if you had just said the stupidest thing in the world. âbecause they were threatening to kill me, spider. i have the whole world against me. andâŚand i didnât have you to come rescue me anymore, i thought. i had to run.â
âwhen you were innocent?â
âbetter than being killed by fucking gangsters, right?â
âyou couldâve called me.â
she looked up at you. you had sat down in front of her, inspecting the bandages she had wrapped around her thigh. when you slowly unwrapped them to help put them on tighter for her, felicia asked, â...would you have come?â
you didnât make eye contact with her. but the hand on her thigh was enough reassurance. âyou know i wouldâve.â
sixty seconds was not a long time. but to felicia, sixty seconds of her own contemplation, her going against her own head and morals, of thinking if it was worth what would come after what she was going to do, felt like forever. she was breathing heavily in the cold night air, your eyes were transfixed on the bandages before you, hand not moving an inch, and she didnât know what else she was supposed to do. what else she could do.Â
so after those sixty seconds, felicia leaned in and kissed you. again. again and again, just like old times, just like all those heists and burglaries you had rescued her from before. your lips tasted the same, the arms around her felt as safe as ever, and when she pushed you into her bedroom and began undressing the both of you, the look of longing, and betrayed love you gave her was one she knew all too well.Â
her hips moved against yours that night, hands thrashing and fingers finding their way into each otherâs hair, and for a while, felicia knew she was safe again. for a while, the avengers, manfredi and his stupid goons, everyone else, was drowned out by the sound of your moans and cries, and felicia could let go. she finally reunited with her spider, even if just for a night, and what a reunion it fucking was for her.
âÂ
the next morning, however, you were dressed before she could even lift her head off of the pillow, shaking your head and muttering, âi have to go back. i have to go back. theyâll be looking for me.â
she could tell you were surprised by her interruption of, âand what if they do?â
âtheyâll think iâm working with you. and i canât be seen working with you.â
it felt almost cathartic to say, âfuck you.â
you then turned, a sympathetic look on your face and an apology leaving your lips in the next second. âyou know what i mean, felicia.â
âyou donât think iâm telling the truth? that i didnât steal the fucking necklace?â
you were silent for a while. your hand was crushing the shirt you were holding, deep in thought. if it werenât for your spider senses, you would have almost missed catching the pillow felicia had thrown at you.
putting the pillow down, you then turned to her again, and said, âiâm giving you the opportunity to prove youâre telling the truth. come back to the avengers tower and work with us on finding the real thief.â
â
natasha couldnât believe that you thought bringing felicia back was a good idea. that you thought any part of your plan was a good idea at all.Â
it was one of the rare few times that she had voiced out what she thought was a stupid plan; tapping into the black catâs skills and intel, and trusting her with information, to draw out the real thief of the necklace. it was one of the rare few times she was arguing with you.Â
there had been more youâre putting all of us at risk and i donât see a better solution exchanges between the both of you, each one escalating in intensity. the rest of the team were equally on natashaâs side, with the exception of fury, who had been brought in to weigh in on the situation. you had spent another hour convincing him earlier not to turn felicia in himself.
in the end, he stepped in, and natasha was bound to follow his directions. that didnât stop her from sporting the most irritated, annoyed look on her face, however, as she brusquely brushed past you and felicia, who looked more than smug that she was temporarily welcomed back to the team. you were about to give chase, when fury instructed you not to. it was best to let natasha calm down first.
âpissed off red to bring me in,â felicia caressed your face then, causing you to bite your lip in annoyance as well, âiâm honoured, spider.â
â
she could feel herself sinking in jealousy; watching the way you and felicia interacted.Â
you helping felicia to put on the comms in her ear and the bulletproof linings in her suit; you used to help natasha with that. even when she had gotten more accustomed to the avengers, even when she could put it on herself by then.
you letting felicia take the seat beside yours in the quinjet. it clearly was natashaâs, it even had her fucking initials carved into the armrest on it, when she was bored on a flight once. truth be damned that fury had requested you to keep felicia on a tight leash, but the seat beside yours? really? it hurt more than it should have, as natasha forced herself to avoid eye contact with you right as she stormed past you. you only realised your mistake a second or two later, seeing her angry charge to the very back of the jet, and you were just about to ask felicia to move the seat in front of yours when natasha had told you to save whatever you wanted to say to her.Â
felicia could almost laugh at how nervous, and guilty, you looked all throughout the flight. if she wasnât so on edge from the mission requirements and having to work in a team herself, she could almost feel a tinge of jealousy that you were treating your new girl better than you had ever treated her, even. red must have been special, she thought, as you finally unbuckled your seatbelt and made the journey to the back when the flight stabilised.
ânat,â you called her uncertainly, fingers digging into your palms as you waited patiently for her to finish chewing out a younger agent to look at you. then, she made eye contact with you, standing by her seat and eyes insecure, and she hated herself for not being able to stay mad at you for long.
still, she had a facade to keep. âwhat?â
you let out a smile when she came back to your side, gratefully taking the seat beside hers. âiâm sorry.â
âfor what?â
âi donât know,â you had an inkling that you knew what, but you continued, âyouâre mad at me. and iâm sorry for the disagreement earlier. i justâŚi have a plan, alright? and iâm sure itâs going to work, soâŚi wanted to defend myself. iâm sorry if it made you upset.â
she huffed, rolling her eyes. out of the corner of her eye, however, she could spot you looking even more guilty, and she relented. âyou did make me mad.â
âi really amââ
ââbut work is work, i know. and i trust your capabilities. you better bring the thief back with a plan, because itâs going to be a lot of paperwork and answering to board members if this doesnât work out. and iâm not staying up late for all the nights youâre going to do that with you.â
she thought it was stupid how her heart managed to beat impossibly faster as your smile grew, nodding gratefully. âthank you for trusting me.â
then, the both of you spotted felicia unbuckling her seatbelt too, and approaching maria upfront. you made the decision to let the agent handle her for a while, returning your gaze to natasha.
somehow, the both of you managed to blurt out feliciaâs name at the same time, both raising the otherâs eyebrows.Â
âyou go first,â natasha declared. you nodded.
âare you okay with her? i knowâŚthat youâre not so comfortable working with the enemy. iâll keep her by my side for the whole mission, and weâll stay away, so you donât get bothered so much.â
natasha thought it was amazing how oblivious you were; that the problem was you being too close to felicia, and not close enough to her. that she didnât want you sticking by feliciaâs side, because she was scared she was going to lose you to her instead.
âiâŚâ before she could finish her sentence, however, maria was screaming for you, for felicia had finally annoyed her enough to warrant a restrain back to her seat. that, coupled with the fact that she had stolen mariaâs watch without her looking even back at the construction site, and she had finally noticed.
i wish i didnât have to share you with her, was what natasha wanted to say, as felicia giggled at your rough handling of her back to her seat, attempting to squirm out of your grasp.Â
â
the mole had been from SHIELD; as feliciaâs expertise let on. she had data from all around new york, obtained less than illegally, and with the technological expertise from maria, the team managed to crack down just who had been plotting for the downfall of manfredi, and collaterally, new york, all along.
the jet made a ninety degree return after wasting time chasing a lead that had previously run dry, and you were at the other end of a phone call receiving furyâs wrath at the discovery of there being a mole from SHIELD. you had wanted to tell him it wasnât so surprising, with the onslaught of rapid new hires, but decided to hold your tongue.Â
it was you who finally proved that having felicia onboard was a good idea. coming up with a plan in a span of a few minutes, it was so well thought-out and elaborate, maximising everyoneâs skills and covering every single possible outcome for capturing the thief, natasha found herself incredibly endeared with your cleverness; hanging on to your every word as you explained the details to the team gathered around you.Â
in fact, her dopey look directed at you was what prompted felicia to snicker, and blurt, âso smitten with our spider now are we, red? earlier you looked like you wanted to bite her head off when she was fighting for me.â
to natashaâs surprise, it was you who stepped in first, âenough, felicia. focus.â
it was all the more attractive, and endearing, when she caught you preventing felicia from leaving later, warning her with a âdonât touch herâ again, whatever it meant. natasha had wanted to throw her arms around you and kiss you right in that moment.
â
with felicia on her right, and you close behind her, natasha was chasing the thief, almost expertly slipping in and out, zigzagging through the maze of buildings surrounding the area. but you knew that the road would end at an intersection, and natasha and felicia would inevitably have to split to take a chance on where the thief would go.Â
and while natasha had hoped wholeheartedly that you would take her side, and trust her instincts, her movements faltered when she snuck a look behind to find you gone. in the next second, you were by feliciaâs side, helping her whizz through the crowds and getting even closer to the thief as you flew.Â
heart beating fast in her chest, she hadnât noticed how much it hurt to even see you choose someone else, even for a brief moment. you had made the decision that would best benefit the team, she knew, but professionalism didnât count for the ache in her heart then, as she picked up her pace again and unwillingly round the corner in hopes of cutting off the culprit.Â
â
it was felicia that landed the final blow; catching the thief with a taser sharp enough for you to stop him mid-air, and pinning him to the ground. and after some struggle and maria finally arriving with backup, you were finally relieved of your sudden duties to go on a mission so soon.
catching your breath, you didnât realise how much your ribs were actually hurting until then. maybe minding your own business the next time wasnât such a bad idea.Â
but then, felicia was by your side, providing a shoulder for you to hold on to for support, as you heaved and pressed your arms against your ribs in an effort to stop it from hurting when you breathed too hard. it was one of the few kind things she had done; the least she could do for you after youâve helped to clear her name, once again.
you leaned into her support, and upon sensing that her job, and temporary alliance with the avengers, was done, she whisked you away briefly to discuss her options before the actual avengers took matters into their own hands.Â
natasha watched from a distance as you walked away in feliciaâs arms; understanding how betrayed you could have felt with the avengers, and how painful it must have been to find a mole in the very organisation you had worked for for so long. what she couldnât understand was how you could possibly be leaving her, when you would be taking her whole heart with you if you left, as well.Â
if natasha had more courage, she would have at least tried to stopping you. but she couldnât, and wouldnât, ever want to force you to stay. even if it was possibly the last time she was seeing you, even if it meant the possibility of you leaving before she has the chance to tell you she loves you.
her chest was closing in on her, breaths short and restrictive, and natasha knew she had to get away before the world caved in on her.
â
felicia led you into a clearing, and you forced yourself to let go of her to lean against a wall. you could tell she was looking at you with pity, and bit your lip at the foul taste it left in your mouth.Â
âcompromised intelligence, your friends at each othersâ throats, your own boss not trusting you enough to see me again,â she pointed out, hiding a teasing smirk, âyour futureâs looking bright, spider.â
âthanks.â
she watched you slide down the wall, the pain exploding on your side. you hated that she sunk to your level, and reached out for your hand. you didnât know why you let her. her fingers were cold as she held your own.Â
âgive it up, then. thereâs no hope staying now, right?â
you let out a sneer. âthen where would i go?â
âwith me. come with me. would you be able to do it? give all this up for me now?â
you realised that felicia had suddenly grown more vulnerable; her eyes a little teary and her lip between her teeth. her other hand was helping you hold on to your injury, her touch cold and unsure. a sigh left your lips, knowing her usual teasing glint was gone. this was the felicia you loved most in the past.
but it was not felicia you loved, not anymore. and while you were thankful for the opportunity to love her, and that you didnât regret what you had with her, you knew your heart was with someone else now. someone who was waiting for you to return home to her, someone who loved you more than you knew of it yourself.Â
you slowly removed the hand that was holding your injury, smiling at felicia. she knew.
âred?â
âi have red now. and you and i are better off apart, you know this, felicia,â you held her face in your hands then, tone comforting, âyou know i care about you, always have, always will. and thank you, for loving me, and helping us for this mission. but iâm not going anywhere without natasha.â
her claws withdrawn, felicia nodded understandingly. you continued, âkeep your head low for a while. manfredi will still be looking for you, so will the police. iâll try to cover up for you as much as i can, but donât get into too much trouble. thereâs only so much i can do.â
she laughed, getting up as she heard the police sirens approaching. she was sure you had picked up on it much earlier.Â
âred really is special, huh?â you nodded at her question, smiling at the thought of going back to natasha later on.Â
âbye for now then, spider,â her hair blowing in the wind, felicia almost looked finally at peace.Â
âtake care, felicia.â
you informed the police officers that you saw the black cat disappear from your sight just seconds before you arrived.
â
natasha was lying alone in bed by the time the other avengers returned. having left early, her room was dark and silent; the only sounds of her chest heaving quickly and her cracked sobs filling the air.Â
there was a knock on the door from maria, calling out for her, but natasha ignored her subsequent knocks after telling her to go away from the first one.Â
but then an hour later, there were two signature knocks on her door, following by you keying in the passcode to her room that she had only told you, and natashaâs attention was suddenly rapt.
she realised she probably looked a mess, and pathetic, for sobbing her eyes at out at the mere possibility of you leaving. but in her defence, she didnât know, and you mattered too much to her for her to see you leave right in front of her eyes.Â
âdonât switch on the light,â she warned, and your hand retracted from the light switch. you were about to ask her why, when she continued, âjustâŚcome here. come here and hold me, please.â
you were more than happy to oblige, sliding between the sheets and having your arms find themselves around her shivering body. she naturally leaned back into you, and natasha wondered if your senses were more elevated than she thought they could be, as your hands came up to wipe the tears she didnât want you to see.
at the comfort of your touch, she could only ask, â...are you leaving me? forâŚthe black cat?âÂ
she could feel you smile behind her, and your head resting at the space between her neck and shoulder. instead of replying, you said, âi actually went out to get you some donuts, and a few movies for us to watch, you know. i finally get to welcome you home, properly.â
natasha feels like her heart is going to burst. you chose her.
âbut of courseâŚjust being with you is enough. just us, staying like this, is enough.â
natasha finally turned, seeing that you were still injured, but you reassured her by slowly massaging the frown and worry lines off her face.Â
she pouted. âsheâs pretty.â
you brought her to a sitting position, letting her on top as you rubbed your hands over her back. âyouâre prettier.â
âhas nice blue eyes.â
you kissed her, softly, slowly. âmhmm, i prefer green eyes.â
âi bet you looked good with her.â she could only imagine how powerful the two of you looked; the spider and the black cat swinging through new york city. it was definitely a force to be reckoned with.
you let her see the selection of donuts you had bought; each spelling out a letter in welcome home. âi feel better when iâm with you.â
natasha finally looks back up at you, and she understands. you never had the intention of leaving. you belonged to her, right from the start.
that night, when you had fallen asleep, one arm slung around her protectively, natasha finally has the courage to tell you what she has always felt.
âi love you,â she says, before amassing all her love into the kiss she landed on your lips.
in your slumber, you smiled, and the redness didnât leave her cheeks, even until the morning.Â
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i love fics like this.
AN ANGEL FLUNG OUT OF SPACE
(natasha romanoff x fem! reader)
â synopsis | falling in love with your childhood bestfriend might have been one of the best yet scariest things to happen to you. but what happened in the summer of â97? what happened to your darling natalia?
â warnings | little fluff & a lot of angst, kind of au (no avengers), child abuse, mentions of: attempted suicide, self harm, body mutilation, burn marks, severe malnourishment (18+)
â notes | this was supposed to be a oneshot but, as usual, i spiralled out of control and now it has two chapters⌠potentially three? merci, mon alice, for the header @wandasgf âĄ
[ word count: 4.4k ] Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
JULY 1992
The sun had begun to set and yet the warmth of the day still lingered. The glow of the street lamps cast an amber hue on the pavement, outlining the familiar houses that lined the quiet street. The air was filled with the scent of summer, a blend of fresh grass and the distant fragrance of blooming flowers. In one of the houses on the street, a family gathered in their backyard for a summer evening barbecue. The smell of sizzling burgers and sweet barbecue sauce wafted through the air, and the faint laughter of children chasing each other echoed, while the adults lounged and swapped stories.
Meanwhile, across the field, two girls were beneath the sprawling branches of a willow tree. A patchwork quilt, covering a section of flattened grass, held a tea set long forgotten as they had rounded the thick trunk, the littlest one already perched on the wooden swing.
âPush me higher, Natty!â You exclaimed, voice full of glee. You were only a small girl with wild hair and a toothy grin, but your spirit was boundless.
Natalia smiled brightly, her own eyes sparkling with joy at her friend's excitement. âYouâre already so high you could see the Empire State Building.â She teased, her laughter blending with the sound of chirping crickets amongst the long grass in the distance.
âI know!â The wind whipped against your face, and you couldnât help but let out a joyous laugh.
Inseparable since Natalia moved in next door, your friendship blossomed under the protective branches of the willow tree across the street, where a swing hung proudly in the breeze. Its gentle leaves whispered secrets that only the two of you could hear, dreams of the future etched upon its bark, as unadulterated laughter rang true with its sway.
She whistled as your head swung back, the carefree spirit of the summer evening enveloping her in its warm embrace. And as she gazed up at the treeâs opening, she found twinkling stars above and the imaginary distant silhouette of the Empire State Building visible on the horizon. She couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder at the vastness of the world she had yet to see.
"Whoa, this is amazing." You shouted, feeling your stomach drop with each swoop. "Letâs swing all the way to the moon!"
âMaybe not the moon,â She pushed harder, her hands gripping the thick plank of wood beneath you, âBut letâs try for the stars."
You shouted with as much euphemism as your little body could handle as the swing reached its peak. Weightless under its motion, you were suspended between the sky and the ground.
 An angel flung out of space.
 "I can almost touch the stars!"
She smiled. Despite her hands being rubbed red raw from rope burn, she was happy. She was always happy to be with you. While she had her younger sister, Yelena, whom she cared for deeply, it wasn't the same as having you. A friendship of her own creation. She yearned for the summer days when she could run around like a child with you.
âThatâs good, that means youâre almost home, little star.â She shouted, her accent slipping out ever so subtly.
Carefully, your hand stretched toward the night sky â a poor attempt to touch the boiling balls of gas above.
You both were happy.
Itâs sad what became of you both.
All too soon, reality intruded once more. The distant sound of a heavy door opening cut through the air, a gentle reminder that all good things must come to an end. With a final push, Nat stepped back and held onto the plank, commanding it to a halt. She knew what was coming.
At first, you didnât notice her disappear around the wide trunk. But the gentle clink of pottery against one another told you enough as you followed in her footsteps.
âNatalia,â You whined, hands on your waist at the sight of the older girl cleaning up. âNo, itâs your turn to swing.â
A whistle pierced the air, its familiar shrill sound gaining both of your attention. The sound of home time. âNatalia, come. Time to go.â Her motherâs voice carried just as loud, urging the redhead to leave playtime behind.
She turned to you, her expression softening as she looked down at your smaller frame. With a mixture of reluctance and understanding, she pulled you into a tight embrace, the warmth of her arms wrapped around you, the gentle press of her lips against your forehead lingered for a moment before she released you and ran off into the gathering dusk.
Alone now, you watched as the field fell silent, the only sound being of the insects hidden in the dark. The swing on the other side croaked gently in response to the light breeze and the redheadâs swift departure. For a moment, you considered sitting on it, perhaps pushing yourself back and forth on the points of your feet. Instead, you find yourself standing there: the absence of your best friend ever so palpable, a void that sunk deep into your bones.
Without Natalia by your side, the swing held little allure, and you decided to make your way back home. With your large basket in hand, you reached your own doorstep and paused, casting one last glance towards the girlâs house. The lights were on inside, casting a warm glow against the darkness outside.
You almost missed it, but a glimpse of red hair appeared out the window, followed by a hand waving at you. As soon as you waved back, she was gone. Window shut. Curtains drawn.
You went to bed with a cheesy grin plastered on your face.
Youâll see her again tomorrow.
--
AUGUST 1997
âNatalia, stop fighting me on this. You look like a popsicle.â You laughed and shoved the girl playfully from where you were sitting against the willow tree.
âIt's cool.â She defended, as her hand tugged at her blue-dyed ends.
The years had rolled by, but the memories of that swing under the willow tree lingered on in your heart. As the seasons changed, so did your life. You made new friends, explored different interests, and navigated the tumultuous journey of adolescence. Being older than you, Natalia was already in high school, but she didnât go to any in the district, as she was home-schooled and sometimes had to leave for a while. She never really told you why.
Even so, your bond deepened and an unspoken connection developed between you both. Under the tree's comforting shade, you discovered a warmth in your heart that went beyond friendship. Those lazy summer afternoons spent laughing, dreaming, and sharing secrets created a bond that you wanted to explore further.
Youâd never felt like this before for anyone.
Only Natalia.
Life as a pre-teen was so confusing.
You snorted, âYeah, okay, you leave for a month and come back with half of your hair a different colour.â
But it wasn't just the hair colour that captivated you. It was the way she carried herself - a wisdom wise beyond her years. She was the same goofy redhead of course - her eyes sparkled with mischief when she laughed at you, her hand held the same warmth in yours as you walked together. But there was something else lurking beneath, a sadness more notable than her usual melancholy. You noticed the slight furrow in her brow, the way her fingers tapped nervously against each other.
Something was weighing on her mind, something significant. So, you asked, âWhatâs wrong?â
She let out such a soft sigh that you almost missed it.
âIâm leaving.â
Dread washed over you, and a knot formed in your stomach. "Again?"
She had just returned the other day. Your mind raced with questions and uncertainty and the tears already clustered your lash line. You, a child with no need to mask her emotions, no need to hide her soul, unlike Natalia, who always seemed to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders, her laughter always accompanied by a subtle sadness, as if she were trying to conceal her true feelings behind a façade of cheerfulness. But today, as she sat you down with a gentle tug, her eyes betraying a mixture of resolve and sorrow, you sensed that she could no longer hide what she'd been keeping inside.
"It's for good this time," she murmured, her gaze fixed on the ground as if unable to meet your eyes. "My parents want to go back to Russia. They donât like it here.â
Though unspoken, you sensed the weight of what she meant. They don't like you. It stung, a silent acknowledgement of the barriers you've fallen blind to. The odd glances from her mother, the subtle disapproval from her younger sisterâall pieces of a puzzle you've tried to ignore.
Her admission hung heavy in the air, the reality of separation sinking in with each passing moment. She drew closer, her delicate fingers brushing away the tears that cascaded down your cheeks. You lifted your gaze to meet hers, noticing the weariness etched into her features, the telltale signs of tears already shed hours before.
âIâll miss you.â She whispered, forehead flushed against yours, before leaning down to kiss the corner of your lips. An almost kiss. One of many shared underneath the cover of the willow tree.
You tasted saltiness and noticed the fresh tears that had now sprung from her eyes.
âI'll miss you too. Forever.â
The next morning, you stood outside her house, as the sun cast long shadows over their lawn. It was your last full day together so you arrived bright and early, not wanting to waste any time. You reached out to knock on the door, but your hand hovered, hesitant. The house remained still, as if holding its breath, waiting for something that would never come. You glanced around, searching for any sign of life, but the windows stared back at you blankly, revealing nothing but darkness within.
âNatty?â
 Nothing.
A sinking feeling gnawed at your stomach as you realized they must've left in the night, slipping away like shadows fleeing from the dawn. The same way they joined this neighbourhood.
With a heavy heart, you turned away from the empty house, feeling as if a piece of your soul had been torn away with their departure. The world already seemed colder, lonelier, devoid of her warmth and laughter that once filled it.
In the days that followed, you found yourself drawn to the tree â yours and Nataliaâs safe haven. You sat there, surrounded by memories, as the rope swayed in the wind - empty and forlorn. Though still magical, the willow tree could no longer shield you from the loneliness that settled in your heart, as the summer months stretched on endlessly, a blur of empty hours filled with longing and regret.
That night, you slept with a permanent frown, a puddle of tears staining your pillow.
You wonât see her again tomorrow.
--
APRIL 2001
From afar, she looked different. Almost unrecognisable.
Eighteen years old and she was here: barely an adult yet taller and slimmer, with a cascade of auburn curls framing her face that replaced the short blue hair you remembered. The years had engraved themselves onto her, carving the once-round face into a pointed visage that spoke of both experience and loss.
Just as beautiful as you remembered.
You sat on the swing under the tree with a book in hand, lost in its pages until light danced between the branches and a flicker of movement caught your attention. Glancing up, you froze as you saw her across the street.
Natalia?
Your heart quickened its pace, memories flooding back in a torrent. But this woman was different. Sheâd changed. Sheâd grown.
She noticed you too, her gaze locking onto yours for a moment. There's a flicker of recognition, a spark of something in those eyes. For a heartbeat, it feels like time hasn't passed, like you're still the same two little girls taking on the world together. But then, just as quickly as the connection formed, she averted her gaze, choosing instead to continue on her journey. She walked with purpose, footsteps marching in a steady rhythm that both connected and distanced her from you. She couldnât get caught up with you. She had a job to do.
Realising she was going to walk away, you pushed yourself off the swing, a mix of hope and nerves swirling inside you as you discarded the book somewhere in the grass.
None of that mattered. Natalia was here. She was back.
âHey, wait!â You shouted, practically running after her. You reached out to grab her wrist, but she jerked away, shoving you back a few steps with surprising force.
Up close, the difference was unquestionable.
The once soft and kind Natalia had evolved into a hardened version of herself, sharpened by strong fists. Her eyes once filled with innocence, now harbour shadows of pain and resilience. She exuded an aura of toughness, and a guarded silence had replaced the laughter that used to be a melody in her voice.
âNatalia? What are you doing here?â You inquired, tentatively closing the gap between you both. You watched as she winced at her name falling from your lips.
And yet, this time, she didnât evade your touch. Her hand trembled slightly as it met yours, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. In that fleeting silence, you took in the toll life has taken on her. Her arms bear the marks of countless scars, remnants of battles fought in shadows, and bruises of varying hues.
âWhat happened to your arms?â Your voice is gentle, a soft inquiry borne out of concern.
But, the sudden confrontation had her retreating into herself, defences rising once more like impenetrable walls. You mustnât know. She could never do that to you. âLet go.â She demanded sharply, her tone cutting through the air like a knife.
Caught off guard, you hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to proceed, but thatâs long enough for her to decide to rip her hand out of yours, sharp and abrupt.
âAre you okay?â Your voice was barely a whisper as you watched her practically flee, disappearing around the corner of the street.
 You donât follow her.
--
OCTOBER 2012
Funny how throughout life, fate seemed to play a game with you, pulling Natalia in and out of your orbit like a cosmic dance.
At twenty-seven, you found yourself entrenched in the fast-paced world of trauma nursing. After the arduous journey through medical school, you packed your bags and set your sights on the East Coast. New York City welcomed you with open arms, its vibrant chaos becoming the backdrop to your new life. From your bossâs office window, the silhouette of the Empire State Building stood tall, a symbol of strength amidst the chaos below.
You thrived in this environment, relishing in the opportunity to connect with and assist people in their most vulnerable moments. The adrenaline rush of the emergency room, the delicate balance between life and deathâit fuelled you in ways nothing else could. Not since that summer night. Not since you tried to touch the stars.
Today, however, the hospital was enveloped in an air of secrecy and quiet urgency. Paramedics had rushed in with a new patient a few hours ago, shrouded in mystery as they were rushed straight into surgery. Usually, you're first on-site with incoming patients but you had been busy working your rounds to be able to assist, and there were enough on the trauma team â with the security clearance - to handle such a situation.
Stopping by the bedside of your oldest patient, Mrs. Dinton, you smiled sweetly. âHey, Mrs Dinton. How are we today?â
"Ah, there you are, dearie," she said, her voice crackling with age. "I was just telling Nurse Molly here about the delightful hospital pudding they serve on Wednesdays. It's simply divine, don't you think?"
You chuckled softly, waving a hello to your colleague. "I'm afraid I'm not much of a fan, Mrs. Dinton. But I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it."
She laughed, a sound like tinkling bells. "Oh, well, means more for me then."
Before you could continue the conversation â could reprimand the elderly woman about how she needs to watch her sugar intake - Dr. Cho appeared at your side, her expression serious. "Excuse me, ladies. But, Nurse Y/N, is needed elsewhere." She says kindly but with a hint of urgency, no room for questioning. You and Dr. Cho were great friends, having graduated med school together and now working at the same hospital.
âWhat is it, Helen?â You asked, following her footsteps out the ward, navigating the labyrinthine hallways of the hospital.
âIâve been assigned postoperative care for the Jane Doe and I want you with me...â Your heart dropped at the mention of the mystery woman.
All day, the hushed tones and covert glances exchanged among your colleagues hinted at the gravity of the situation. Their whispers that followed you through the hospital corridors spoke of a failed suicide attempt. While the hospital had sadly seen its share of such cases, this one was different â a Jane Doe, requiring an unusual degree of privacy.
ââŚwhile I donât know any more than you about what happened, I trust you the most to help me with her. So I got you clearance. Go grab us a pair of gloves, Iâll meet you inside.â Helen finished with a nod before entering the private wing.
You donned your own pair of latex and made your way back to the private wing, the click of your shoes echoing down the corridor. The atmosphere was thick with anticipation and concern. The weight of the unknown pressed upon you as you approached the room where the troubled soul awaited treatment. Few years being a trauma nurse, you had seen it all⌠but not a Jane Doe. Never a Jane Doe.
Upon entering, you found Helen already studying the patient's chart. The subdued lighting in the room cast a sombre mood, and the machines hummed softly in the background. The Jane Doe was laid on the hospital bed, head secured in a neck brace and a tube down her throat, a silent testament to the ordeal she had endured.
âThanks,â Helen whispered, making her way over to retrieve her gloves. "I've gone through everything in the notes. The attempt was pretty severe."
You nodded, taking in the gravity of the situation. The silence was broken only by the soft beeping of the monitors as you both began your work. Each movement was deliberate, and each procedure executed with precision and empathy. You adjusted the IV drip, checked the vital signs, and made sure everything was in order.
Sometime later, Helen had left, her pager going off as her presence was needed with another incoming patient. Â The room seemed to hold its breath, but it was only you. The machine to your right, making sure the woman was still breathing.
You read over her notes once more.
âFemale, 5â7âŚâ You ramble aimlessly to no one as you find yourself unable to voice the rest.
The laceration on her neck caught your attention. The wound stretched across her delicate skin, a jagged seam where the surgeons' skilled hands had meticulously stitched the deep gash closed. The edges of the cut were puckered slightly, evidence of the trauma dealt with by the knife paramedics found next to her unconscious body. Judging by the shape, it seemed like she plunged rather than sliced, the offending weapon, then, pulled out instead of left inside. She was quite malnourished, her cheeks hollowed out, collarbone visible as the gown drowned her thin figure. She lacked a sufficient amount of muscle. You wondered how someone could go unnoticed without eating for several days. It was as if she had become a ghost, fading away in plain sight.
The woman looked ill - eyes sunken with abnormally pale skin. Drifting down her body, you noticed her legs. A horrified gasp threatened to leave your lips. Â Raised red lines covered the expanse of her legs, some scabbed up, some clear burn marks that had turned into blisters. Her arms were just as bad, marred with a history of wounds that ran from her wrists to her shoulders.
Behind all the equipment, her face was almost unrecognisable. Her hair was what stood out the most, the auburn curls matted with blood. A sense of familiarity washed over you, the red striking your curiosity.
You couldn't tear your gaze away as you watched her stir. Unsure if she was waking or simply moving unconsciously, you remained still, not wanting to startle her. But then her face contorted with pain, and her lashes began to flutter open.
The sheets rustled as she tried to turn, her discomfort evident from the way she struggled against the tubes and wires tethering her to the medical machinery. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for her, lying there in such a vulnerable state. No identity. No family to be there for her.
"Stay still, please.â You whispered softly, stepping closer to her bedside. âYou're in the hospital. Youâre safe."
Her eyes, clouded with pain and confusion, met yours for a fleeting moment before flickering away. She seemed to be trying to process where she was and what had happened.
âParamedics found you unconscious and rushed you in.â You explained gently, hoping to offer some semblance of clarity amidst the chaos of her thoughts. âYou had a wound to the neck. Weâve managed to close it, so donât move around too much. Otherwise, you might open the stitches.â
Her gaze drifted back to you, and for a moment there was a flicker of recognition in her eyes. It was fleeting, gone almost as quickly as it had appeared, but it was enough to make your heart skip a beat.
You saw as she went to speak, only to find pain and a heavy weight against her tongue. âCareful. You shouldnât try to speak yet. Weâre not sure how much damage has been done to your vocal cords.â
As if she didnât hear you, she continued fidgeting, fighting against the intrusion in her mouth, panic overriding.
âHey, listen to me,â you coaxed, voice soft but firm, your hand reaching out to settle over hers, the glove long forgotten. âI need you to calm down, please. Youâre going to be okay. You just need to rest your voice.â
Her eyes darted to you, wide with fear and frustration, and you squeezed her hand gently, offering what little comfort you could.
âItâs going to be alright, just take slow breaths. Focus on that.â You started to breathe deeply, deliberately, hoping she'd follow your lead. Inhale... exhale... in a steady rhythm, like waves lapping against the shore
As you continued to focus on stabilising her breathing, your eyes inadvertently met hers, and in that moment, you were drawn into the depths of those vibrant green orbs. They held a world of pain, swirling like a tempestuous storm beneath the surface. Yet, amidst the turmoil, there's a glimmer of familiarity that tugged at the corners of your memory.
Thereâs something about her you canât make sense of.
 Why does she look so familiar? Who is she?
âDo I know you?â You almost asked, but then suddenly, the door to the waiting room clicked open, and Helen strode in, her expression wavering as she noticed the woman awake. âSheâs awake already?!â Shock and bewilderment visible on her face.
She advanced, quickly spewing off questions in your direction, as her eyes narrowed in on the woman, assessing her condition with a quick, practised glance.
"She's awake, a little panicked about being in a hospital, but also a bit disoriented," you explained, voice calm despite the urgency of the situation. "Vitals are stable for now.â
With that, you stepped away, dropping her hand you had forgotten you were still holding, as Helen went to introduce herself. Your lunch break was coming up and before you could turn to leave the room, Helen stopped you. "Thank you for staying with her," she said softly, "There was a car accident. Two little girls rushed in for surgery. They needed me."
You nodded in understanding. You couldnât fault her. Every day seemed to bring a new challenge, a new story, and today was no different. This Jane Doe was no different.
Before you could delve deeper into your thoughts, she interrupted, âAnyways, Iâm here now and pager is off,â she drew your attention to the device in her pocket, âBossâs order... Â now go take your lunch break.â
With a small smile, you left the room, the door softly closing behind you. Walking down the hallways, your mind buzzed with curiosity about the woman. Her face â those eyes - nagged at the edges of your memory, like a puzzle waiting to be solved.
Where do I know you from, Jane Doe?
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Across the Natashaverse
Summary: Through a small accident, you end up in another universe. What happens when you find out that your relationship with Natasha is very different here?
Natasha Romanoff x F!R
Life is good.
No missions for the week, done with training and fresh off the shower, you walk down the halls of the Compound.
âSomeoneâs in a good moodâ Wanda comments when you join her at the kitchen. âDid Natasha change her mind about the date?â
Your smile falls immediately and her eyes widen.
âShoot, Iâm sorryâ
âNah, itâs fineâ you steal a cookie from her plate and shrug your shoulders. âIt was two weeks ago. She doesnât see me that way, I get itâ
âI donât think itâs thatâ Wanda insists and you smile.
âYouâre a hopeless romantic, Maximoffâ you lean forward and place a kiss on the top of her head. The brunette chuckles, going back to the book she was reading.
As you walk to your room, you try not to think of Natasha. But itâs a small world, and sheâs on her way to the gym, America Chavez right behind her.
âIâm on training dutyâ the redhead explains. âWanna join us?â
âI have so much paperworkâ you lie, because youâre very tired and have been looking forward to a nap. âKick some butt, Americaâ
âIâll tryâ she doesnât sound convinced at all.
Natasha smiles at you, waiting for your signature wink that always gets her heart racing.
But thereâs not even a look back as you go to your room.
She really screwed up this time.
â
You werenât exactly lying about the paperwork, and you work on it for half an hour to feel like youâre doing something productive with your day.
With a yawn, you stand up from the desk in your room and walk towards the bed. As youâre about to plop down, thereâs a shift in the room and you land on your ass, the bed on the other side of the wall.
âWhat the fuck?â you say, looking around.
The room looks different. Itâs the same size, but none of your stuff is there. Same thing with the hallways. Itâs the Compound, but at the same time⌠itâs not. You walk out of the room, this time on spy mode, ready to take down the imminent threat.
âY/N?â Natasha calls behind you and you rush to her side.
âNat, hey. Thereâs something wrong. Stay closeâ you take her hand, and she stops you with a pull.
âIâll sayâ
âHuh?â you turn, only to find her face inches away from yours.
âWhereâs your wedding ring?â
âMy⌠what?â you look down at your hands, confused. Natasha moves her face closer and you canât focus on anything else.
âOh, I see. Are you still angry about the other day? Because I can totally make it up to you, detkaâ Natasha whispers seductively against your lips, leaving a trail of kisses all the way to the shell of your ear.
âNat.. uh⌠I thinkâŚâ
âUse your words, pretty girlâ she smiles, her hand going up your shirt to caress the skin.
And suddenly, she looks down, frowning.
âWhereâs your scar?â
âI donât have aâŚâ
Natasha turns into a whole different person, placing you in a chokehold and holding both your arms down.
âWho are you? Are you a skrull?â
âI donât know what that isâ you say, gasping for air. âWait, are they the ones Carol works with?â
âWho is Carol?â
âCaptain Marvelâ
âYou mean Maria Rambeauâ
âMaria is Captain Marvel?â you say, finally piecing together whatâs happening. When your eyes lock with Natashaâs, you speak at the same time.
âYouâre from another worldâ
âIâm from another worldâ
Even if she doesnât let go, her grip on you losens enough for you to breathe. Sheâs about to ask something else when a little girl walks up and pulls your hand, getting your attention.
âMama, what are you and Mommy doing?â
â
âWalk me through what happenedâ
âNothing happened! I was doing paperwork in my room and then I was hereâ you say for the tenth time.
âHow about before?â Natasha asks, turning right. Her idea was to drive you straight to Wong, as a multiverse travel is more of his specialty.
âI ran into you. I mean, not you. My Natasha. Wait, not my. Sheâs not mineâ you mumble, massaging your temples. âPlease tell me thereâs ibuprofen in this worldâ
âRelaxâ she reaches forward, placing a hand on your thigh and you swear youâll combust. âI get the idea. Now tell me what happenedâ
âWe just ran into the hallway. Made some small talk. And then I went to my roomâ
âJust small talk?â Natasha smirks. âNot some kisses? A quickie against the wall? An earth shattering, universe transcending orgasm?â
You try to open the door and jump out of the moving car but itâs locked.
âItâs not⌠weâre not a thing. Just friendsâ you say, flustered.
âReally?â Natasha finally turns to you, as she parks outside of the not so secret lair at Bleecker street.
âWait. It was America Chavezâ you remember, facepalming. Of course. âNatasha was training her. Maybe she created a portal by accidentâ
âAnd now my wife is in another universe where youâre too chicken to ask me out. Canât imagine that will go well for herâ
âHey, itâs not like thatâ you snap, embarrassed. Natasha turns to you, ready to speak back, as usual. Because sheâs so smart and she thinks she knows everything. âWhatever. Letâs just get this shit fixed, I donât wanna be hereâ
Walking past her, you stand before the big doors, that open up without knocking
âWelcomeâ the man says. âI take it youâre the little glitch in our universeâ
âYes, I am. Can you fix it?â
âNo. But America can. She has been at Kamar-Taj for a year now. Her powers are more developed. It should be an interesting test for herâ
âOk, so what are we waiting for?â
âThere have been some security concerns latelyâ Natasha explains, coming closer. âWong has to notify their council to follow protocolâ
âIâll come find you tomorrow. Remember, the longer you stay here, the bigger the threat for both worldsâ
âYes, fine. See you tomorrowâ you say, looking at your feet as you leave the building. Going down the steps, you can hear Natasha calling after you. âIâm walking back to the Compound. Itâs the same route. I can wait for Wong thereâ
âWe donât live in the Compoundâ Natasha explains, her voice gentle. She waits until you turn back and searches your eyes. âLook, Iâm sorry about what I said before. Come with me. Iâll feel better if I know youâre safe with usâ
Thereâs a pause, and she waits patiently while you look around. But Natashaâs presence is like a magnet, and inevitably, your eyes come back to her beautiful features.
âWhatâs so funny?â she says when you chuckle.
âYou do the same thing. Tilt your head to the side, purse your lips⌠itâs cute. In every universeâ
âSweet talker. Come on. Letâs goâ she offers her hand and you accept it.
It takes an enormous amount of effort to remind yourself this isnât the Natasha you know. And that youâre not the one she loves.
Youâre so caught up in these thoughts you donât notice when she pulls over.
âIce cream always cheers you upâ she explains, getting out of the car.
âYeah, I guess weâre not that differentâ
She smiles, holding the door open for you. Well, at least the flavors are the same in this universe.
âIâll have the peanut butter with chocolate chipsâ
âYouâre allergicâ Natasha says.
âIâm notâ
âYouâre not?â she repeats, while the man behind the counter looks at both of you, confused.
âNopeâ
Once thatâs settled, you get your ice cream cones and leave the store.
âWhy are you staring?â you say, mouth full of ice cream.
âIâm just waiting for the hives and the runny noseâ
âIâm not allergicâ you insist, showing your arms, skin completely normal.
âFineâ she concedes, shrugging her shoulders. You keep eating in silence, until she turns back. âWanna tell me why you got so upset?â
âBecause. I did ask you⌠her out. She said no. I wasnât a chicken; I gave her flowers and put myself out there. But Iâm obviously the problem, because in this universe, everything works out to the point of you two getting married and having a daughterâ
You take a seat in a nearby bench, feeling defeated. What a cruel thing, to see the life you could have had.
âMaybe sheâs not ready. I was terrified when we started dating. Thought Iâd screw it up because I knew nothing of loveâ
Thatâs what Wanda probably meant earlier. Itâs a possibility that crossed your mind as well, but whatever the reason, Natasha had declined the date (looking very apologetic, you might add) and you were going to respect that choice.
âOr maybe she just doesnât want me. And thatâs ok. Because no matter what happens, I love my Natasha. And Iâll always want her to be happyâ
Silence settles after you say that, but Natasha looks back at you, smiling.
âYouâre very noble. Itâs nice to see some things are the same across worldsâ
âItâs nice to know thereâs a version of me that makes a version of her happyâ
Natasha smiles and nods.
âLetâs get home. Anya is waiting for usâ
â
âHome sweet homeâ Natasha says, opening the door for you. Itâs a beautiful townhouse, with lots of space in the backyard. All the walls are covered in pictures, and you canât help but stare at all the memories that belong to a different version of you.
They seem like a happy family.
âMommyâ Anya says, and it takes a second to remember that sheâs talking to you.
âHey, sweetheartâ you donât hesitate to carry her as she comes running towards you. Natasha is keeping a watchful eye on you. âWhat is that?â
âThatâs my Miffy, sillyâ she says and you bounce her in your arms, while she shows you her plushie.
Yelena joins you and you canât help but stare. Her hair is black, short and she has bangs. There are also a couple of piercings in her nose and eyebrows.
âDid you cut your hair? Looks niceâ she comments, picking up her stuff and getting ready to go. You simply nod and smile. âGotta go, see you tomorrow for dinner with Kate, ok?â
Natashaâs sisters kisses everyone goodbye, including you and then bolts out the door.
âBaby, did you bath yet?â Natasha says, approaching Anya. The girl hides her face in the crook of your neck.
âI donât wannaâ
âYouâre stinkyâ Natasha accuses, tickling the girl; Anya gives up and goes from your arms to the redheadâs. âCome on, and then Iâll start dinnerâ
âI can take care of thatâ you offer and Natashaâs eyes widen. Anya uses Natashaâs hair as a curtain, and thinks you canât hear what she says.
âI donât want Mommy to cookâ
âWhat? Why?â
âYou canât cookâ Natasha says. Well, thatâs just bullshit. In your world, Natashaâs always the first in line to get a good serving of whatever it is you do.
âGo, I got thisâ you insist when Natasha puts Anya down. The redhead looks back several times, unsure. My God, how bad could the other you be in this world to get this reaction?
Luckily, once they are done with the bath, Anya comes back, pulling her mother and commenting that the smell is incredible.
âMommy didnât burn the kitchen!â
âHas that actually happened?â you mumble to Natasha and she nods. âYikesâ
The redhead laughs, and nudges your shoulder with hers.
âThis is really goodâ she admits after trying your chicken pasta bake.
âThinking about keeping me?â
âMaybeâ she jokes. âOr bring you over when I donât feel like cookingâ
Of course, Anya doesnât understand what youâre talking about. She tells you about her day with aunt Yelena and all you have to do is listen and nod.
âIâll do the dishesâ you offer after you finish.
âCome say goodnight to herâ
âWill doâ
While you clean, you try not to think about what life will be like tomorrow, when you go back to a world where things are different.
âShe fell asleep in the middle of a Clifford storyâ Natasha comes back after a few minutes. âItâs probably because she ate so muchâ
âIâll leave the recipe for youâ you promise. âMind if I crash in the couch?â
âRightâ the redhead smiles, and you can tell sheâs nervous by the way she fidgets with her hands. You reach forward, taking them in yours.
âWhatâs wrong?â
âI canât really sleep without⌠herâ
âI can stay on the bedroom floorâ
âI couldnât possibly ask you toâ
âYouâre not asking. Iâm offeringâ you assure her.
By the time youâre done with cleaning the kitchen, thereâs an inflatable mattress, pillows and a blanket.
âLet me know if youâre comfortableâ Natasha asks, turning off the bedroom lights.
âOr what? Youâll let me sleep cuddled up? It wouldnât be good for the space and time continuum that I kick my own buttâ
âI actually think sheâd find it funnyâ Natasha says, and you let her voice lull you in the dark. âSheâs probably teasing your Natasha endlessly, trying to get her to admit some sort of feelings for youâ
âShe has a death wishâ you groan, admittedly forgetting that the Natasha you know is having a less than pleasant time right now.
âWhat is she like?â Natasha says after a few moments of silence.
âSheâs the smartest person in any room. Hates cooking and doing dishes. Always looking out for others, always taking on the most missions. Sheâs really funny too. Sometimes, Bucky will ask anyone for movie recs and Natasha will give a completely made up title. So, Barnes will go crazy looking around for itâ
âOh, Iâm so doing that next timeâ you both laugh.
âGreat ass tooâ you say after a beat and a pillow is thrown across the room and falls right in your face. âHey!â
âGo to sleepâ
â
Next morning, you figure itâs only fair to cook some breakfast before Wong calls you over.
Which, he does, sooner than expected.
Anya is barely finished with breakfast, when Natasha comes down the stairs and looks at you.
âItâs timeâ
Feeling nervous, and a bit sad, you nod. Wanda shows up a few minutes later. To your shock, in this world, sheâs pregnant.
âThank you for taking care of her, it really wonât take longâ Natasha says as soon as she steps inside.
The brunette eyes you curiously, and you can tell by her magic that she knows this isnât your world.
âYou know Iâm always happy toâ
At the door, Natasha picks up Anya and kisses her everywhere she can. The girl giggles once her mother places her down.
âHey, bugâ you kneel on the floor. âBe good. Your moms will be back soon, ok?â
âOk, mommy. See you soonâ
âBye, Anyaâ you say, letting her hug you. Once youâre out the door, Natasha reaches for your hand, and squeezes lightly.
The ride to Bleeker street is silent. Wong seems pleased when he sees you.
âFollow me, ladiesâ he asks, opening up a portal to Kamar Taj. Youâd only been there once; the size of the place always makes you feel like youâre in another planet.
A much older version of America greets you -sheâs probably in her twenties- and takes your hand for a second, closing her eyes.
âReady to go home?â she asks.
âWait!â Natasha calls behind you and you turn, eyes wide. To your surprise, the woman hugs you, and you wrap her in your arms as well. When she pulls away, she places a small kiss on your cheek. âAnyone would be lucky to have you. Sheâs an idiot if she canât see thatâ
âThanks, Nat. Not about the idiot part. Be kind to every version of yourself, yes?â
âFineâ she rolls her eyes, squeezing your hand one last time.
Youâre about to step into the portal when you turn to America.
âThis wonât send me into the middle of a busy road or like, free falling to my death, right?â
âMost likely notâ she promises.
You donât like the sound of that.
âOk, but on a scale of one to tenâŚâ
âFor Agamotoâs sakeâ Wong sighs behind you, pushing you without warning.
The room is completely upside down and then you land in the middle of the meeting table, the Avengers around you screaming.
âSon of a bitchâ Steve says as you roll to the floor, out of air.
âLanguageâ you manage to say. Everyoneâs rushing to you. Sam is the first one and he helps you up. They are all talking at the same time, Wanda inspecting the cut on your forehead from falling on the table.
Suddenly, Natasha nudges them aside, wrapping you in her arms.
âHey, itâs ok. Itâs meâ you say against her temple.
âWeâll leave you alone. Go to the medbay, thoughâ
âYes, Capâ
Youâre in no hurry, Natasha safely in your arms.
â
âSo, what happened while I was gone?â you casually ask as Natasha cleans the cut.
âI almost killed you⌠her. Twiceâ
âSounds like you had funâ
âNot really. Sheâs a smartass. Canât cook a damn thing, so I made her a pb&j sandwichâ
âOh, yeah. Sheâs allergicâ you grimace. âWait, you said you almost killed her twice. If one was with peanut butterâŚâ
âThe first thing she did when she came to this world was slap my assâ
âShe does have a death wishâ you joke, but Natasha doesnât answer, turning around to put the first aid kit away.
âIs it true?â Natasha asks. You look at her, confused. âAre we married? With a daughter?â
âOh. Yes, itâs true. They seem to be happy. It was niceâ
âWas she better than me?â
âNatashaâ you say, forcing her to face you. âI have no doubt in my mind that youâre awesome in every universe. But this version of you is the one I know and love. With your love of spy films, the scar in your belly, and your half smirk when you beat everyone at Unoâ
âI am really good at Unoâ she agrees and you both laugh.
âDamn right you areâ
âI missed you. Too much, to the point where I realise I canât keep pretending I donât want this. Iâm just scaredâ she says, holding on to your hands. âWill you help me? Be brave for usâ
âThereâs nothing I wouldnât do for you, loveâ you promise, kissing her hand softly. âIn this, or any other universeâ
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Across the Natashaverse - Part 2
Natasha Romanoff x F!R
Summary: After you're sent to another world, Natasha has to deal with yourself, from another universe, and a very different life.
Other POV from this fic.
âPut more weight on your left footâ Natasha says, barely checking Americaâs movements.
Of course she knows this is important. Maria asked her to train Chavez in the basics of hand to hand combat. Her mind is elsewhere, though.
Especifically, you.
Natasha thought she was doing you a favor, she really did. Someone as kind as you could do much better than her. Agreeing to a date would only give you false hope, so she rejected the invitation.
It was foolish of her to think that things would be the same after that. You werenât distant or rude, though that might have been easier.
Every morning, youâd still have breakfast with her, show her funny videos or tell her about your latest discoveries in the lab with Stark, which in the end, were related to her work as well.
You simply stopped sharing your interests, or going out of your way to seek her company. Long gone were the days of sitting together at the Met while you talked about your favorite paintings. Or the grocery shopping that turned into strolls through Central Park and ended in your favorite bookshop.
All that was left now were pleasantries.
âAm I doing it right?â America asks. She sure as hell isnât, so Natasha shakes her head, hoping she can manage to focus on the task at hand.
âStopâ she says, stepping on the sparring mat.
âPlease donât tell me you want me to fight youâ
âYouâre punching the air, Chavez. The only way to learn is by doing. It will be fineâ
The girl doesnât seem too convinced, but Natasha starts with slow movements and corrects America as they go. When the intensity of the training increases, the girlâs powers begin to stir. A yellow flash on the ceiling distracts Natasha, and the next thing she feels is Americaâs fist colliding with her cheek.
âCrap! Agent Romanoff, Iâm so sorryâ
But thereâs another loud thud, not far from the gym.
âDid you hear that?â Natasha asks, trying to figure what the noise is.
âMaybeâ
âTake a breakâ Natasha instructs, looking around the room to check if everythingâs alright. The team is still figuring out the extent of her powers and Natasha worries the girl just unleashed a demonic creature or something.
The redhead is so focused on the room, she doesnât notice someone approaching.
That is, until she feels a hard slap on her ass, and a sultry voice against her ear.
âThereâs my favorite ass-assinâ
Five seconds later, she has the intruder upside down, back against the floor, gasping for air.
âBaby, I know you donât like my jokes but this is a little too much, donât you think?â
It takes her a second to process whatâs happening.
âY/N?â
âHey, loveâ you smirk, all smug despite being knocked down by Natasha. âThe weirdest thing just happened, I was going to get a snack because Anya was moody and then fell on my ass right outside the gymâ
Natasha stares at you, as if youâre speaking a foreign language. And then it all clicks. The slightly longer hair, how you smell and feel different.
She letâs go of you and starts pulling your shirt by the collar.
âHell yeah, letâs get nakedâ
âWhereâs your birthmark?â
âI donât have aâŚâ
âYouâre from another worldâ
âAh, thatâs so sweetâŚâ you try to lean forward and kiss her, but she pushes you away. âBabe, Iâm getting mixed signals hereâ
âF.R.I.D.A.Y., call for an emergency meetingâ
â
âIâm sorry, sheâs what?â Sam points at you, and Natasha pinches the bridge of her nose.
âSheâs from another universe. America must have opened up a portal when we were trainingâ
âAlright, so she just opens it back and we correct the mistakeâ
âItâs not that simpleâ Tony walks in.
âUhm, guys. This meeting should be for Avengers onlyâ you lower your voice, eyeing the man suspiciously.
âHello? That table youâre sitting in so carelessly. Mahogany. Paid by meâ
âYeah, Iâve never seen this man beforeâ
âA world without Tony Starkâ Steve says, amused.
âMust be really quiet in your Compoundâ Sam says and you smirk.
âWhy, no thanks to you. Not with all those super models youâre always bringing back to your roomâ you raise your eyebrows and Samâs eyes widen.
âI date super models? I wanna go to her worldâ
Steve and Tony begin to argue about how that will make the multiverse collapse, when Natasha interrupts them.
âSheâs messing with you, idiotsâ
Tony and Sam look at each other and then at you. You almost fall to the ground as you laugh. Since youâre not helpful, the team ignores you as they keep discussing the best way to identify your reality and correct the glitch.
âY/N 2.0, we need more information about your⌠where did she go?â Tony grumbles.
âI got thisâ Natasha sighs, stomping to the kitchen. Sure enough, youâre rummaging through the fridge, complaining at every item of food you find.
âDonât you have anything with sugar here?â
âYouâre free to prepare anything for yourselfâ
âNot unless you want the kitchen to explode, Natâ
The redhead pushes you aside, while you look around the living room, inspecting the pictures on every place you can find.
âNo wedding? Or Anya?â
âNopeâ Natasha says, her voice shaking lightly.
âWhy?â
âNone of your businessâ she says, handing you a plate with a sanwich.
âThanks. How did you know I was lying about Stark and Wilson?â
âYour voice gets all high pitched when you tell a lieâ she answers, refusing to look at you.
âHuhâ you mumble, taking a bite out of the sandwich. âUm. Is this peanut butter?â
âWould her Highness prefer caviar?â Natasha teases, but turns around and finds you covered in hives. âShit!â
âThatâs fineâ you say, struggling to breathe. âNothing an epi canât fix, loveâ
You pass out in the middle of the kitchen, wondering if youâll leave this foreign universe in one piece.
â
After leaving you at the medbay, Natasha goes back to the meeting room. Sheâs examining all the reports and missions that are related to multiverses. Itâs a lot to digest, including all the quantum physics.
Alone for the first time since this whole thing started, she finally allows herself the chance to miss you. Right around this time, youâd be making dinner, and sheâd be in the kitchen, pretending to help just to be close to you.
What if she never gets you back?
âHello, thereâ a voice says. You approach slowly, knowing itâs best not to surprise her.
âHow are you feeling? Iâm really sorryâŚâ
âThereâs no way you could have known. It honestly never occurred to me that things like allergies were differentâ you say, patting her leg. âInterested in string theory?â
âYeah, itâs a great ice breakerâ Natasha says, and you chuckle. âYou donât seem too worriedâ
âThe America Chavez of my world has had a bit more training. Iâm sure Iâll be back home for lunch tomorrowâ
âYou could have said something!â Natasha feels the need to kick your ass again.
âHey, I was gonna! And then I almost diedâ
âJerkâ
âWhat are you so worried about? Sheâs in a safe worldâ
âWhat if your Natasha gave Y/N a similar welcome?â
âOh, Iâm sure she had her pinned to a wall, only for very different reasonsâ
Natasha turns to you, alarmed. Her jealousy is so obvious that all you can do is laugh.
âThere it is. I wasnât sure you had any feelings towards her. Wanna tell me what happened?â you nudge her chair with your foot and she looks at you, annoyed.
âShe asked me out, gave me flowers, I said noâ
âFlowers, huh? Well, sheâs more romantic than me. Natasha and I were pretending to be a couple for a mission and then I just blurted out I wouldnât mind doing it again under different circumstancesâ you explain, laughing at the memory. âBut hey, if flowers and chocolates arenât your thing, I respect itâ
âItâs not like thatâ
âThen, what is it like?â
She thinks back to all the times youâve made her feel safe, cared for, loved. You make it look so easy, but for the life of her, Natasha canât figure out how to reciprocate.
What you make her feel, is too good and beautiful for someone like her.
âI havenât earned her loveâ is all she manages to say.
âNatashaâ you call, softly, and only speak when she finally turns to you. âYou donât have to do anything to be deserving of loveâ
There is silence, and then you take her hand in yours.
âCome on, Iâm starving. Letâs grab some Chineseâ
âFine. No more peanut butter, though. I donât want to fight myself if something happens to youâ
âNow that would be entertainingâ
â
Next morning, everyone is back in the meeting room. Apparently, due to some bad experiences, theyâve decided you should come back to your world immediately, before the universes collapse.
âI promise you, it will be fineâ you insist. Natasha is the only one that seems to believe you, so you save yourself the trouble and spin around in the office chair.
âCan you stop?â Steve says, irritated.
âIâm trying to create a vortex that is powerful enough to send me back to my reality, Steveâ but he still glares and you stand up. âFine. Iâm getting a snackâ
As you exit the room, Natasha comes running behind you.
âWait. I wanted to apologizeâ
âSteve is an old grumpy man, donât sweat itâ
âNo, not about that. Iâm sorry for⌠being so hard on you when you first got hereâ
âWe deal with aliens and all kinds of threats. Itâs not so crazy to think that an intruder is dangerous. Itâs all good, Natâ you shrug your shoulders.
âI just wouldnât be ok if your Natasha had acted that way with my Y/Nâ
âYour Y/N?â you repeat, pleased as Natasha blushes. âGood for you, Romanoff. Get the girl. Trust me when I say, sheâll make it worth itâ you wiggle your eyebrows.
âSuch a flirtâ
âWe canât help ourselves around you, no matter the universeâ
You wink, and walk to the kitchen, leaving Natasha in the hallway.
Inevitably, she thinks about you. The one that belongs here, with her. Are you enjoying your time in that other universe? Will you resent her for bringing you back? Maybe that Natasha is more loving and sweet, and youâll finally realise that she canât actually make you happyâŚ
Her thoughts begin to spiral again, until the commotion in the room breaks her train of thought.
âDamn, you fell from the ceilingâ Sam says, looking up. A yellow portal closes just as Natasha opens up the door. Everyoneâs around you, and when your face comes to view, Natashaâs heart almost stops.
Thereâs a little cut and bruising from the fall, but youâre back.
She pushes everyone, and wraps you in her arms. You return the gesture.
âHey, itâs ok. Itâs meâ
She hugs you closer, smiling against your neck.
Natashaâs never letting go again.
â
âSo, tell me everything!â you say, sitting next to Natasha as you drive back home. âDid I tell you I almost died to peanut exposure?â
âLooks like someone had funâ your wife comments and you smile.
âWhat about you, my love? Did you do anything dirty with my other self?â
âWell, there might have been some kissing and touching before I noticedâŚâ
âNot to brag, but the other Natasha was on top of meâ you say, trying to pretend like itâs no big deal your wife kissed another you.
âYou pissed her off and she threw you to the ground, didnât she?â Natasha smirks.
Damn it.
âMaybeâ
Seeing your daughter brings you back to reality. Fun as it was to be in another universe, your life is perfect here.
âMommy, are you cooking dinner again tonight?â the girl says as you carry her to the kitchen.
âUh⌠letâs have lunch first, yes? Go wash your handsâ
Natasha hands you a plate of what the other Y/N made and you gasp.
âHoly crap, this is delicious! Babe, not gonna lie, I wouldnât have judged you if you fucked her against a wall after tasting her foodâ
âYouâre such an idiotâ Natasha rolls her eyes, sitting on your lap and stealing a bite of the pasta. âBut you are my idiotâ
âAlways and in every universe, babyâ
You kiss her softly, happy to be home.
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Secrets
Summary: You try to keep your relationship a secret!
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!R
It was fun at first.
The thrill of sneaking around, secret glances, hidden touches. It had been quite a ride to get to where you were with Natasha, and knowing how the team could be, you both wanted to keep your relationship to yourselves, at least for a little while.
One of your secret spots were the stairs. With a building so big, it was natural that everyone took the elevator. It was the perfect place to meet the redhead and more often than not, the conversation progressed into an intense make out session that left you breathless.
âIs the elevator broken?â Steve asks as you come back from one of your little escapades. You jump at his presence, your mind still thinking about the feeling of Natashaâs lips on yours.
âUh⌠no. Itâs working just fine. I like to take the stairs to⌠exerciseâ
âThatâs a nice idea. Maybe Iâll try it one of these daysâ he nods.
Cap and his obliviousness, sweet old man. He has no idea youâre all flushed for reasons that have nothing to do with coming up the steps.
Still, you think nothing of it. He was probably trying to be nice when he said it was a good idea. The next day, when youâre lost in Natasha, intoxicated by her supple lips and the way they move against your own, you miss the sound of heavy footsteps and an off key whistle.
âCrapâ Natasha is the first to react, breaking apart. You turn to look down, Steve taking the steps two at a time.
Fit bastard.
âMorning!â he says, too happy for your liking.
âOh, hi, we were justâŚâ
âWe?â he echoes, and you look around. No trace of Natasha.
âI mean, me. I was just taking a break. I think Iâll go back to taking the elevatorâ
âYou sure youâre ok?â
âYeah, just a bit agitated. Nothing to worry, Capâ
Steve nods and smiles.
âI told everyone about your great idea. I think people will start using the stairs moreâ
âOh, thatâs just peachyâ
Once again, he is oblivious to your actual feelings. After heâs gone, Natasha jumps from behind the staircase.
âJesus, how did you manage to do that so quicklyâ
âWell, you always have to be ready for a quick escape, detkaâ
Natasha leans forward and pecks your lips, but before she can do anything else, you drag her back to the hallway.
âYou heard Cap. Our secret spot is no longer secretâ
â
So far, you havenât found a decent replacement for the stairs, except for a supply closet. And by God, you are not that desperate.
As you cook dinner, Natasha comes up behind you, and you relax against her.
âIâve missed youâ she says against your shoulder, placing small kisses that tickle you.
âI missed you too, loveâ
A hand goes around your middle and she toys with the hem of your shirt, lips kissing your neck, and that sweet spot behind your earlobe that makes you shiver.
âNatâ you moan, and you donât know if you want her to stop or keep going.
Yelena answers that for you as she steps inside, eyes widening. You draw blank, because honestly, how can you explain this?
Natasha takes matters into her own hands, literally, as she hugs you and pretends to do the Heimlich maneuver.
âSheâs chokingâ Natasha says and Yelena scrambles around.
âOh, my God, Y/N, please donât dieâ
The redhead pretends to help you, squeezing your middle and you cough.
âI think IâmâŚâ
Unfortunately, the blonde is too freaked out and pushes Natasha away, thinking sheâs helping you.
As she presses against your sternum, you are suddenly out of breath and you swear you can feel your ribs cracking.
âOk, Iâm fine, Yelena, thanksâ you break free of her hold, sure that your sides will be bruised next morning.
Yelena doesnât let you cook anymore, so you end up with a dinner of mac and cheese, and Natashaâs sister sitting in the middle while you three watch tv.
âIâm sorryâ Natasha says when her sister gets up to grab another soda.
âJust for the record, this isnât the type of choking I had in mindâ
â
âTheyâre gonna be here any minuteâ you say against Natashaâs shoulder.
âI knowâ she bites your neck and you sink further into her lap.
The Quinjet, out of all places is where you find some privacy. The rest of the team will join shortly, as you have a recon mission.
But you canât keep your hands to yourself and you end up naked, straddling Natashaâs lap as she moves her fingers inside of you.
âGod, you look so pretty like thisâ she says against your chest.
âNat, moreâ you plead. Itâs too much and too little at the same time. She listens, moving her hand faster and your hips match her pace.
âGod. Yesâ you collapse in her arms.
âRequest to open gateâ FRIDAY informs and you curse, because you want more than a second to catch your breath.
Sneaking around is getting old now.
âCome on, letâs get cleaned upâ Natasha says, helping you up. She looks proud when your legs shake.
âShut upâ you say, which only makes her smile wider.
While the team enters the Quinjet, you go back to the bathroom with Nat as you hurriedly put your suits on.
âRed? Y/N?â Tony calls for you.
âHereâ you raise your arm, feeling a bit tense. Maybe you pulled a muscle.
Stark nods your way and starts the Quinjet, while Steve goes over the plan with everyone else. You stay seated, vaguely aware that something feels different but you canât tell what it is.
âBe carefulâ Natasha says when you part ways, squeezing your hand.
Your job is to keep an eye on the guards at the south gate and stop them if they are called to attack the intel team.
Which unfortunately does happen, so you run to shoot, kick and punch at every one of them.
There are two guards left, and as you reach for your gun, something incredibly unexpected happens.
Your suit opens right in the front, revealing your red lacy bra.
âWhat the fuckâ you shout, looking down.
The guard in front of you opens his mouth, completely enthranced by your cleavage.
âNew strategy?â Tony flies over, knocking him down. He sends the last man standing across the room.
âNo! I donât know what happened!â
You try to cover but the leather is not giving in.
âOk, well. Weâre done here so you can put all thatâ he gestures to your chest. âBack in the Quinjetâ
Rolling your eyes, and with your arms crossed in front of you, you walk back to the jet.
As you lock eyes with Natasha, you finally notice how her own suit is loose on the shoulders.
You switched when you were getting dressed.
âI like this new lookâ Sam wiggles his eyebrows and Natasha sends a widow bite straight to his ass.
âOopsâ she shrugs her shoulders as he glares.
Feeling a little better after that, you go inside and find a t-shirt to cover up.
When you leave the bathroom, everyone is silent.
âOk, itâs not like you all havenât seen boobs before. So get over yourselves. Except Steve, he gets a passâ you bark at them.
âIâve seen boobs beforeâ he tries to say but no one pays attention.
Natasha stays silent and you think she might be upset or reconsidering this whole thing.
You expect the worse as you land and she leads you back to your room.
âNatâŚâ
The redhead holds her finger up, taking your shirt off and sinking her face in your breasts.
âReally?â
âMineâ she grumbles, her hands squeezing possessively.
Well, at least some good came out of it.
â
The atmosphere is tense.
Clint, Wanda, Peter and you are playing Jenga.
Honestly, you are the one at a disadvantage here. With Clintâs aim and the enhanced individuals, you donât stand a chance.
The way Natasha looks at you from across the room doesnât help either.
Itâs been a few days since you were together. Fury called her for an urgent mission and you had to resist the urge to sneak into the Quinjet and beg her to fuck you against the console.
And now, sheâs back and you canât wait for the night to wrap up so you can wrap your legs around her while she eats yourâŚ
âGah!â Wanda screeches, knocking over the tower. âMy mind, my eyesâ
Crap.
âWanda, a word?â you plead, dragging her out of the living room while Clint and Peter stare.
âYouâ she slaps your arm. âAnd youâ she glares at Natasha as she approaches, pushing you both to her room.
âSorry, we are keeping it a secret for nowâ
âBut your thoughts are so loudâ she massages her temples, clearly distraught. âI was so focused on the game and still I could hear everything, see everythingâ
âSorryâ you grimace. âDo you think you could⌠not tell anyone? For a bitâ
âOh, trust me, Iâm very eager to pretend none of this happenedâ
âThanks, Wandaâ Natasha says and the girl nods.
âItâs nice to see you both happy. Just try to keep your thoughts to yourselvesâ
âWeâll tryâ
Wanda nods, walking out. Natashaâs quick to push you against the wall, eyes darkened by lust.
âWanna tell me what was on your mind?â
âCan you at least wait for me to leave the hallway?!â Wanda screams from outside.
âYou have ten seconds, Maximoffâ
âThanks, I hate youâ
â
You figure a little distance from everyone will do you good.
So, you get tickets to a Yankees game and spend the day in the city with Natasha.
Even if you are only a half hour away from the Compound, among the sea of people, no one looks at you when you hold her hand, or share a kiss in the middle of your walk.
âThis is niceâ you smile, bringing her hand to your lips.
The first half of the game is slow, but you enjoy the time eating popcorn and making comments with Natasha about the score.
During the break, several people in the audience are featured in the screens. A girl chugs an entire beer while the crowd goes wild.
âDamnâ you laugh, but the next image you see is you, next to Natasha.
The kiss cam.
âNo, weâre fineâ you wave your arms and the crowd boos. âOk, not nice!â
âDonât be such a babyâ she smiles, pulling you closer.
âPretty sure Steve and Bucky are watching the game back homeâ
âYou jump, I jumpâ she leans forward, allowing you to decide if you wanna do this or not. As your lips meet in a short kiss, everyone starts clapping and cheering you on.
âAre you sure about what we just did?â
âVery. Iâm tired of hiding. You make me happy. Whatâs wrong with that?â Natasha says and you smile against her lips.
âYou are so getting lucky tonightâ
But before you can kiss her again, both of your phones go crazy with texts from everyone on the team.
Tony: Is this why Wanda asked me for a way to erase her memory?
Sam: Now I know why you electrocuted my ass, Red!
Wanda: DONT COME NEAR ME
âStill think we made the right call?â you roll your eyes as the texts keep coming.
âAbsolutely, detkaâ she says before kissing you softly.
Yeah. Itâs gonna be ok.
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liar liar (i see right through you)
natasha romanoff x fem reader
prompt: âit wasnât real.â âit was to me.â âdid you ever even love me?â âno. i never loved you.â
summary - after your apartment is broken into, natasha realizes she loves you too much to put you in danger. so she breaks up with you.
warnings: mentions of a break-in, smoking, breakups, angst, ptsd mentions, jealousy, mean nat, fluffy ending, happy ending. natashaâs an emotionally repressed idiot.
natasha knew she was in too deep from the moment she met you. she introduced herself, and you had absolutely no idea who black widow or natasha romanoff was. it was refreshing, seeing that little sheepish blush on your face when your friend whispered in your ear, and told you who natasha was. the nervously cute way you played with your fingers, yet you genuinely laughed at everything she said. she fell for you from the moment she had met you at one of tonyâs parties. you were a new intern for one of his companies, and tony specifically wanted to introduce you two. natasha was reluctant, until she met you. everything about you seemed to make her heart smile.
you had a witty response for everything, and natasha loved that. natasha loves you, and thatâs the problem. in her line of work, love is weakness. love is what your enemies use to torture you. she canât ever let anything bad happen to you, not even herself. because natasha romanoff is the worst person on the planet, regardless of the starry eyes you give her, or how you donât flinch away when she touches you. despite knowing her past. the soft touches you leave on her body, along with those delicate kisses. everything about you makes natasha weak, and for a moment, she doesnât care. that moment lasts a whole year, until you get hurt.
the police concluded it was a home invasion gone wrong, but the intruder didnât dare try to steal anything. he cut the side of your cheek, and warned you that heâd be back. natasha had a gut wrenching feeling that it was one of her enemies; she knew it was. coming after the one thing she loves the most. he almost had youâ he could have killed you. he didnât, but he could have, and thatâs the message he wanted to send natasha. and where was miss romanoff that night? on a mission halfway across the world.
of course wanda and tony had shown up at the station rather quickly, and they comforted you till natasha raced home as quickly as she could. the pure heartbreak in her eyes was agonizing as she saw the cut on the side of your face, and all the little voices in her head told her that it was her fault. she engulfed you into her arms for an hour as you sobbed and admitted how scared you were. how vulnerable you felt. natasha held you that night, as her thoughts ran wild. you slept soundly, feeling safe in her arms, while she felt like some wild beast you were trying to domesticate.
you go to work the next day, despite natashaâs request for you to say home. you insist on going on with your normal routine, and that you arenât going to let this get to you. you donât tell her it already has, just like itâs already gotten to her as well. when you leave, natashaâs alone in your apartment, and alone with her thoughts. things she hasnât thought about since before she even met you. she thinks about your pretty face, and the scar that cuts going to leave. how youâll always remember every time you look at it; how sheâll always remember every time she looks at it.
sheâs waiting for you when you get home. sitting on the couch, sitting as straight as a robot. she doesnât look at you right away, and when she does she has an inscrutable look in her eyes. âare you okay, nat?â you ask softly, and she wants to scoff at the ridiculous question. youâre in danger; of course sheâs not okay. âi have to go.â she says, and your face softens. âon a mission? so soon?â you ask as you make your way to the couch to kiss her cheek. she tenses and you furrow your eyebrows as you pull away and stare at her questioningly. âno. i have to go. i have to leave your apartment. i canât be here anymore.â she says and your expression turns serious. âw-what do you mean?â you ask uncertainly.
âis this because of what happened yesterday? because i already started looking for a new apartment, nat. itâll be okay.â you promise, and her jaw tenses as she grips on her jeans. âno, itâs not okay. i donât care if you get a new apartment, i can no longer be here. around you.â she elaborates and you freeze at the admission. âwhat?â you ask in a voice barely above a whisper. âthis... itâs gone on too long. i didnât intend to go this far with you.â she utters the words that make you back away slowly; as if the enter place was going to cave in.
âyouâ you didnât intend for this to go that far? what are you talk about, natasha?â you ask, and the sound of her name makes her look at you. thereâs something in her eyes beneath all that exhaustion. what sheâs tired of, you donât know, but you canât dwell. too many thoughts are circling in on you. âi mean, we both know i was never the relationship type. that hasnât changed.â she states, making you flash her a look of disbelief. âof course itâs changed! weâve been together for a year, natasha! a year! youâve been a wonderful girlfriend, where the hell is this coming from?â you ask a bit demandingly, and she shakes her head.
âthat means nothing. this year meant nothing.â she lies right through her teeth, but the words sound so honest as they hit you. your whole body goes cold, and you wrap your arms around yourself for some kind of comfort, ânothing? h-how could you even say that? what about everything we didâ everything you said.â you try, sounding so desperate as your voice breaks. your throat hurts and tears are stinging your eyes. the sound and sight of you makes natashaâs heart shatter in her chest. âit didnât mean anything. it wasnât real.â natasha says coldly as she stands up. suddenly this is becoming too excruciatingly real. just yesterday she was holding you in her arms, keeping you safe. just yesterday she uttered those three words. âi love youâ.
âit was to me.â you whisper.
a tear falls from your eyes as you look up at natasha whoâs standing a few feet away. itâs pretty fucked up that all you want is for her to wrap her strong arms around you and make you feel better. she says nothing, all she does is stare at you as if youâre a stranger. as if youâre not the girl sheâs been making love to for the last year. you swallow thickly, âdid you ever even love me?â you ask, trying so hard to keep your voice steady. the question nearly winds natasha, but her eyes land on the cut on your cheek. the reality sets in. she has to do this.
natasha goes into assassin mode; all of the emotion leaves her face and eyes. âno. i never loved you.â she simplifies, and natasha can see the exact moment she broke your heart. itâs engraved into her mind, and amongst all of the terrible things sheâs done, this one makes the top three. your bottom lip trembles, but you bite down on it hard to keep it steady. âi-iâll help you pack yourââ you try but she cuts you off. âi already handled it this morning.â natasha responds curtly, and your heart sinks. she planned this. she was planning on leaving you. you wondered how long sheâs been thinking about leaving; how many nights sheâs spent in your bed feeling suffocated by you.
âgoodbye y/n.â she says, and as you look up at her through teary eyes, you can see what looks like regret behind her own. why is she doing this? she doesnât really want to leave, does she? her eyes say no, but she just said all those awful things. you blink, trying to blink the tears away but they fall rapidly, multiplying. sheâs walking away now. sheâs making her way to the front door, and you know this time sheâs never coming back. never.
your voice is stuck in your throat and the words physically crawl out, âplease donât go.â you try to whisper, but it comes out as a pathetic whimper instead. natasha turns her head, but your back is to her. you donât want to watch her leave. you donât think your heart could take having that image burned into your mind. tears well up in the assassins eyes as she takes your image in one last time. you in this apartment. you with your work uniform on that you hate. your hair in an unruly ponytail after a long day. it takes everything in natasha to turn towards the door, and walk out.
but she does. she leaves, and as soon as that door shuts again, the haunting realization that it will never be open for her again makes the tears in her eyes fall. she turns back around, she doesnât want to go. she wants to walk in and tell you everything she just said was complete and utter bullshit. she wants to tell you she loves you so much the thought of anything happening to you because of her makes her want to die. she hears the muffled sobs through the door, and her heart breaks even more than before. she broke you. she broke you, but she will not be the reason you die. you being sad is better than you being dead.
right?
//
six months. itâs been six months since you heard from natasha. the first few months felt like hell. all you did was cry, or try not to cry. you barely left your house unless it was for work; not to mention the ptsd from the break in. you moved into a new apartment a few days ago. it feels a bit better. now that you live on a different side of town, you feel a bit safer, but a part of you wonders if natasha will ever knock on your old door and be surprised when someone else answers.
you push that thought away quickly as you get ready for one of tonyâs infamous company parties. itâs at the avenger headquarters, so you donât know if youâll be seeing natasha, but you put on a tiny black dress and curl your hair to be prepared. youâre not going alone; youâve been casually dating your coworker johnny for a month now. you decided to bring him as your plus one. you donât really know how you feel about johnny. heâs sweet, and youâre trying to move on with your life without natasha.
natasha on the other hand; sheâs an angry mess without you. she spends her days in the compound when sheâs not training or on missions. sheâs built so much arm muscle in the last six months just to keep herself busy from thinking about you. you and your smile. she isnât sure if youâve moved on, or if that smile is directed at someone new. she hopes not.
she keeps a picture of you by her bed, and she thinks about you every day. sometimes, when sheâs in town and drives by your apartment, she thinks about stopping by. she thinks about pouring her heart out to you, and telling you the truth. then she thinks about the way you looked at her that night; the words she said to you that she didnât mean. that eveningâs been replaying in her mind since she left you. god, she hasnât stopped seeing your face every time she shuts her eyes. she remembers how it felt to have you in her arms; or when sheâd wake up to you. she hasnât been with anybody since you, and she doesnât want to be. sure, sheâs gotten offers, and there were a number of women and men in the compound who wanted a piece of her, but all she could think about was you. it was as if you plagued her thoughts twenty-four seven.
natasha romanoff has never been in love before you. she had never really felt much of anything before you other than anger. meeting you was like putting water on a fire thatâs been burning for so long. a fire nobody else could put out except for you. there was no more fire though; just a drought.
the redhead glances down at her glass of expensive champagne as she stands at the bar wearing a tight red dress. the room is full of shield agents, and her teammates, along with other various workers who worked for fury and tony. there were a hoard of people sheâs known for years, some longer than a decade, yet sheâs never felt more alone. just as the widow is standing around feeling sorry for herself, she hears the most gorgeous sound in the world. for a moment she thinks sheâs hallucinating. itâs your giggle.
natasha looks up, and her eyes lock on you. youâre wearing a tight black dress, and a pair of matching black doc martens. your hair is curled perfectly, yet your back is to natasha and she canât see your face. her heart falls into her stomach as she sees a tall man standing beside you, he slinks his arm around your waist, and kisses your cheek. youâve moved on. of course you moved on, youâre wonderful. natasha frowns as she looks down at her half empty glass.
âneed something stronger?â yelena asks, pulling natasha out of her thoughts. the redhead turns to look at her younger sister whoâs now holding out a flask for natasha to take. natasha gladly accepts, taking the flask and chugging quickly. the taller woman canât help but stare at you. you turn your body to the side to look at the man youâre here with. heâs talking about something and youâre listening to every word he says. just like you used to listen to her.
âshe looks good.â yelena comments, reaching for the flask. natasha scowls, âshe always looks good.â the older woman mutters, making yelena chuckle as she shakes her head. âĐ¸Đ´Đ¸ĐžŃ (idiot).â yelena mutters, and natasha glares at the blonde, âyouâre an idiot! three years ago you were calling a seatbelt a strap on!â natasha snaps, and yelenaâs smirk deepens. âyouâve been such a bitch lately, and now i see why. did y/n ditch you for him?â she asks with a hint of amusement, yet her eyes linger on your date longer than their supposed to. if natasha wanted to kill this guy, yelena already had five different ways to do it running through her mind. âno. i told you, i broke up with her. it was just a fling.â natasha lies horribly and yelena scoffs.
âa fling is that stupid thing you had with green superhero. what you had with her was different, and itâs gonna take a lot of convincing for you to make me believe you broke up with her.â yelena laughs, and natasha glowers at the younger woman, âand why exactly is me breaking up with her so hard to believe?â natasha inquires, causing yelena to shoot her a knowing expression. âbecause youâre in love with her.â yelena acknowledges, and the redhead tenses at the words. she knows theyâre true. everyone in this damn room except for you knows it.
âsheâs better without me.â natasha affirms, making yelena stare at her as if sheâs gone crazy. âbefore we broke up, someone tried to hurt her. they broke in while i was on a mission and cut her face, yel. the police say it was a home invasion gone wrong.â natasha scoffs and yelena raises a brow. âyou donât think so?â she asks and natasha offers her a serious look. âit was a message. it had to have been. it made me realize just how many enemies iâve made. sheâs better off without me, because next time it wonât just be a cut to her face and iâd never forgive myself for it.â natasha hisses under her breath, and yelena purses her lips.
âyes, i felt the same before i let myself be happy with kate. but you have to realize danger is everywhere, right? that guy could murder her in her sleep and we wouldnât even be prepared for it.â the blonde adds bluntly, and natashaâs eyes widen. âwhy the hell would you say that?!â the redhead asks with a hiss, and yelena rolls her eyes, âbecause itâs true. the only way youâre gonna be able to keep her safe is by protecting her, and how are you gonna do that from far away?â yelena asks pointedly.
the redhead looks over at you, and as if on cue, you look up and your eyes lock with hers. time stills as your eyes lock with those emerald green orbs. still as beautiful as ever. your breath gets caught in your throat, and within a second all of your progress in the past six months comes crumbling down. you get lost in her eyes for a split second, before looking away quickly. your chest aches as you swallow whats in your glass, and try to focus on whatever johnny and bucky are talking about.
natashaâs gaze is glued to your back for a good five seconds after that. yelenaâs chuckle pulls her out of her trance. âyou are both идиОŃŃ (idiots).â yelena confirms, and natasha shoots daggers at yelena with her eyes. natasha snatches the flask out of her sisters hands and finishes whatâs left, causing yelenaâs jaw to drop in offense. âthat was the only vodka i brought!â the blonde is borderline pouting, causing natasha to roll her eyes. âi needed it more than you did. iâm getting out of here.â natasha remarks as she places the flask in yelenaâs hands before the redhead walks away.
natasha turns her head to look at you one more time, except youâre no longer standing in the same place as you were before. natashaâs stomach burns with jealousy as she thinks about you going home with your date. she tries to push that thought far away as she exits the party, and makes her way to the elevator. now her mind is centering around you, and your laugh. how beautiful you looked tonight. youâre always so beautiful. her fists clench as the image of someone else with their arm around your waist is now branded into her mind. she knows she has no right to feel this way; but she still feels undeniably jealous.
as she steps outside of the building, her eyes lock with yours. youâre smoking a cigarette on your own. natasha freezes in her tracks right outside of the entrance of the building. neither of you make a move, or say a word. you blink a few times, your heart is pounding, and you canât even bring yourself to say anything. she looks down at the cigarette in your right hand. âyou smoke now?â she asks, and a wave of disbelief washes over you. she hasnât dared to reach out for months, and the first thing she says to you when she sees you is that?
you shrug, keeping your composure. âi picked it up.â you respond curtly, as you turn away from her, and continue to smoke. natasha bites the inside of her cheek hard, refraining herself from saying anything, yet she doesnât make any movement to walk away. âwhereâs your boyfriend?â she asks blandly, and you roll your eyes, your back still to her. âheâs not my boyfriend. we came in separate cars, and he left.â you respond simply, and she nods slowly. youâre still refusing to look at her, but sheâs practically gaping at you.
âyou look good.â she adds, breaking the short silence. you sigh as you toss your nearly finished cigarette on the ground. you turn to look at her, a deadly serious look in your eyes and it nearly makes the ex assassin gulp. âdonât do that.â you warn, causing natasha to knit her brows together, âdo what?â she questions, and you flash her a pointed look. âthe small talk. stop trying to pretend like you care about anything pertaining me. we donât have to talk. ever. you can keep walking.â you say, gesturing your hand towards the parking lot. you swear a wave of hurt flashes through natashaâs eyes, but she regains herself quite quickly. she clears her throat, âi do care. i care about you so much.â she claims, and she takes a step closer to you. instinctively you take a step back; the hurt in her green, jewel colored orbs clear as day now.
âsix months later and youâre still a liar? you know, you should have been an actress, natasha. i guess if you ever decide to quit the avengers, you have something to fall back on.â you snap as you start to walk away. âwaitâ please donât go yet. i just wanted to apologize.â she tries, trailing behind you. you come to an abrupt stop, causing her to halt. you turn around, tears are in your eyes yet you look undoubtedly angry. âapologize? for what? for walking out on me when i needed you, or for wasting a year of my life with your lies?â you ask harshly, and her shoulders deflate. âi know what i said that nightââ she tries, but you cut her off.
pure rage flashes through your eyes, âdonât. that night... that night was the only honest night of our relationship. the rest of it was all a lie.â your voice is cruel, and natasha feels herself shrinking. is this how you felt that night? âplease iââ she tries, but you shake your head. âno, natasha. i donât want to hear it. youâve had months to try to talk to me, months to explain yourself. iâve moved on.â youâre lying right through your teeth, but the way her face changes into an obvious pained expression is, in the moment satisfying. hurting her the way she hurt you feels good in this moment.
natasha looks down at her shoes, her throat aches and her eyes are burning with tears. she blinks them away quickly, nodding as she looks up at you. âcan youâ can you at least tell me that youâre happy? just tell me youâre happy without me, and i swear iâll leave you alone. i wonât try to explain myself, or ever bother you again.â natasha swears, and you blink, your eyes set on hers. all you can hear are those words she said to you. those words youâve heard in your head every night for the last six months. âi never loved youâ. those nights making love to you, whispering how much she loved you in your ear; that was all a lie.
the bitter, furious expression etches itself onto your features, âiâm happy. much happier. thank you for leaving my life, it was the best thing you ever did for me.â you spit coldly, and the moment the words leave your mouth you regret them. the way her face looks; itâs as if you just slapped her. she backs away from you slowly, nodding as she pries her eyes away from you. her hands are at her side, and sheâs standing there robotically, kind of like she has no idea what to do with herself. the anger leisurely exits your body, and suddenly, under the pale lighting of the moon, you can see just how broken natasha looks.
âiâm sorry for bothering you. goodnight.â her tone is barely above a whisper, and she turns around on her heels and quickly disappears back into the building. you stand there for what feels like ages; you donât even realize youâre crying until you lick your lips and taste the salty tears mixed with the faded strawberry flavor of your lipgloss. she hurt you terribly, yet you canât help but feel irrefutably guilty as you think about how she looked at you after those lies left your mouth just now. you werenât happy without natasha; how could you be? youâve just felt so used, hurt, and angry, you wanted to hurt her feelings like she hurt yours. it felt good for a few moments, but now you just feel awful.
you close your eyes and rub your palms across your stained cheeks, wiping your tears away roughly. at least you evened out the score now. who are you kidding? youâd let her win every battle if it meant sheâd come back. but she doesnât love you. why was she even trying to talk to you in the first place?
that night thoughts of natasha plague your mind. what explanation could she possibly have? what more could she need to say? didnât she say everything she needed to the night she dumped you? you sigh, tossing and turning in your bed. this is for the better. being without her is better than being with someone who doesnât really love you. regardless of how much it hurts. still, the look she gave you tonight is stuck in your brain.
//
all of your progress youâve made over the last half year, seems to be lost. you realize how in love you still are with natasha as soon as you canât stop thinking about her after that night. as soon as you realize no matter how much you want to, you canât hate her. no matter how much she hurt you; no matter how used you feel... you still miss her more than anything. if you were being honest, all you wanted was for her to knock on your door and beg for your forgiveness. even though you know she doesnât deserve it.
the weeks go on, and october rolls by. you break things off with johnny before he catches any serious feelings, and luckily, you get promoted at work so you donât have to see him every day anymore. your financial life seems to be getting better, yet you canât help but feel as if youâre living like a robot. living day to day; forcing yourself to eat, work, and breathe. a part of you lives with the constant nagging; that little voice in your head that makes you feel so small. it tells you horrible things.
âyou were never enough for nat.â
âof course she lied about loving you, who would?â
âyou canât do anything right today, itâs no wonder natasha left you so easily.â
âshe probably found someone better.â
of course, these thoughts arenât happening 24/7, but they are getting more consistent. one week it gets so bad you donât go a single night without crying. you call into work for three days straight before showing up and going right to tonyâs office. you knock lightly, and he looks up from his laptop, smiling a friendly smile at you. âgood morning, y/n! what can i do for ya?â he asks, and you flash him a watery smile. immediately the older man can see somethings wrong. your skirt and blouse, that are usually as prim and proper as you, are wrinkled. the bags under your eyes are evident, and itâs clear you arenât wearing any makeup.
âgood morning, mr. stark. i-i know i called out for a few days this week, but i have a few weeks of vacation time available... i was wondering if i could use a week of it?â you ask a bit nervously, looking down at your fingers while playing with them. âof course you can. though, you havenât taken a vacation in years. is everything alright?â he asks, and you look up, nodding too quickly for his liking. âyup! everythingâs fine! just planning on visiting my parents.â you lie. you havenât visited your parents in years due to your rocky relationship with them.
he stares at you, seemingly unconvinced. he nods reluctantly, âalright... well, if you want to start your vacation today, you can. iâll put it in right now.â he says, and you smile gratefully. âthank you, mr. stark. iâll see you next week. have a wonderful day.â you muster up sincerely, and he smiles kindly at you. âyou too. if you ever need to talk, just remember youâre not alone. you dated one of my best friends for a year, you became my friend.â he reminds and you smile sadly. âthank you, tony. iâm fine.â you lie, and he nods reluctantly.
âwell, alright...â he trails off as he watches you walk out of his office. âdonât forget your sunscreen! vegas is sunny, even this time of year!â he warns, and this, earns a sincere chuckle from you.
tony tries to push the thought out of his mind, but he brings it up to pepper that night before bed. âiâm sure sheâs just going through a hard time because of the breakup...?â pepper asks and he sighs, âthatâs just it; over the last few months sheâs been thriving! i even heard she had a thing with that johnny boy from HR. but after that party a few weeks ago things changed. iâm telling you, babe, the kids been a zombie at work. she called out for the last three days, and today she requested a week long vacation!â he admits, and pepper frowns.
âa vacation? since when does y/n ever want a vacation? she loves work...â pepper mutters, and tony flashes her an âi told you soâ expression. âwas natasha at that party?â the blonde asks, and tony thinks for a moment, before nodding. âhey, you know now that i think about it, i think they sort of disappeared at the same time... do youâ do you think they hooked up??â tony asks a bit scandalously. pepper laughs at her husbands love of gossip, âhmm... maybe. i donât know... did natasha ever tell you why they broke up?â pepper asks curiously, and tony shakes his head.
âof course not. she just came back to the compound one night and asked for her old room back. we put two and two together when we stopped seeing y/n hanging around. i never asked y/n about it because it was right after her apartment got broken into. poor kid had to deal with that huge cut on her face, and a breakup. i didnât want to pry.â tony confesses, and pepper furrows her eyebrows. âwhy would natasha break up with her right after that? i know natasha isnât the most loving person, but we all know she was head over heels for y/n. there was no way she just decided to breakup with her for no reason. especially while y/n was going through that.â pepper points out.
tony makes a face, âi donât know... natâs kind of an ass...â he trails off jokingly, and pepper hits his shoulder, causing him to laugh. âiâm kidding. look, i go to the compound tomorrow to help peter train. iâll ask nat about y/n. iâll gather some more information for you.â he winks at his wife, making her giggle as she shakes her head in amusement. ânormally iâd advise you not to get involved, but somebody needs to get those two back together already.â she huffs.
natasha hasnât gotten more than an hour of sleep since her last encounter with you. seeing you look so beautiful, so happy without her makes her realize all her insecurities were true. you found someone better, someone who deserves your love and kindness. someone who can tell you how they feel without struggling with their emotions. someone who can hold you at night, and allow you to sleep without having nightmares that wake the both of you up. someone normal.
sheâs been living on autopilot since she left you, and she has a feeling thatâs not going to change. how is it that she canât imagine her life before you? it was only a year... a year of your smiles, gentle touches, and delicate kisses. the purest love natasha has ever received. itâs no wonder she couldnât return it the way she should have. she loves you. more than sheâs ever loved anything. but she lost you, and she knows thereâs no way to get you back.
âjeez, you look awful.â tonyâs voice causes natasha to roll her eyes as she waits for the coffee machine to finish up her drink. she doesnât even bother looking at the older man, âbecause you know so much about looking good.â she mutters under her breath and tony steps closer. he gets a look at the bags under natashaâs eyes, and the way her eyes are hard and fixated on her mug. âsheâs miserable without you, you know?â tony asks, breaking the short silence. natasha tenses, she knows heâs talking about you. âthatâs not what i saw.â she mumbles.
âthe eyes can be deceiving.â he reminds, and natasha responds with silence. he sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair. âwhen are you going to stop this? youâre both miserable, and itâs obvious as hell that you donât want to be here, nat. you want to be with her.â he says adamantly, and natasha slams her mug down onto the counter so hard it nearly shatters. âsheâs safer without me, stark!â natasha snaps, and tony looks taken back for a moment.
âyou donât know what itâs like to have so many enemies you canât even go on a mission without someone trying to hurt the person you love.â natashaâs voice is stern, and her brows are pinched together while her eyes are glossy. tony looks at her for a second without saying anything, âthat guy who broke into her old apartment... it wasnât a robbery gone wrong was it?â he asks and natashaâs jaw tenses before she answer. âno. it wasnât.â she retorts bluntly, but the way sheâs still refusing to meet tonyâs eyes shows him just how much this has been eating her up.
âyou know, no matter how wrong you think you are for her, nobody gets to decide that but her. i canât tell you sheâs never going to get hurt, and i canât tell you if that fear of her getting hurt when you arenât around will ever go away. trust me, i know that fear, natasha. but i also know love, and so do you. you canât just pretend not to love someone because youâre afraid of the outcome. iâve known you for eleven years now, and never once have i seen you as happy as you are with her.â he points out, and natasha snaps her mouth shut.
âsheâs with somebody else now.â natasha announces, and tony scoffs. âwho, johnny from HR? word around the office is they stopped seeing each other last month. right after that party i threw here.â he says and natashaâs entire expression changes. she turns her head to look at him, searching his face for any sign of dishonesty. âw-why?â natasha asks, and he flashes her a knowing look, âiâll give you three guesses but you only need one.â he taunts, and natasha chews on the inside of her cheek.
âshe doesnât want to talk to me. in fact, at the shield party she told me she was happier without me.â natasha swallows thickly as she remembers your exact words. tony rolls his eyes as he crosses his arms, âhappier? natasha, she spent the last six and a half months throwing herself into work and refusing to say your name. then all of a sudden she sees you at the shield party and sheâs missing work, and using her pto?â he asks, and natasha pauses, scrunching her brows together. âsheâs missing work? she never misses work, she loves work.â natasha says, more to herself than to tony.
the older man flashes the redhead a look, âi know. which is why iâm worried about you both. you should go check on her.â he urges, causing natasha to shoot daggers at him with her eyes. âgo see her?? i donât even have her new address!â she hisses and he raises his brows. she falters for a moment, âokay... maybe i have the address... but i donât have the apartment number!â she proclaims, and tony shakes his head, chuckling. âapartment 345. seriously, nat, think about going to check on her. even if it doesnât mend your relationship, at least youâll know sheâs alright.â he says simply, before stealing the fresh coffee natasha hasnât even taken a sip of yet.
she glowers at him as he slips away, making her sigh in defeat. she knows she canât keep living like this. living without you.
//
it takes natasha two whole days to work up the courage to show up at your apartment. even after sheâs standing right in front of your door. she looks down at her boots and sighs. what is she doing? she canât try to win you back after all those things she said. ânatasha?â your voice from behind her causes her to freeze. âwhat are you doing here?â you ask with a handful of grocery bags. she turns around to see you; you in your oversized flannel jacket and ripped jeans, along with a cropped top. you furrow your eyebrows because sheâs staring at you as if sheâs looking at you for the first time.
âhow did you get my address?â you ask uncertainly, and your face changes. âyouâre a spy. you literally are a professional at gathering intel... iâll stop asking stupid questions now.â you mutter as you nudge her to the side softly to get to your door. you push it open and your greeted with your german shepherd puppy, âhi sweetheart.â you greet her and natasha eyes the dog who comes rushing over to her and starts jumping around her legs.
âthatâs winnie. i got her last month.â you admit, and you sigh tiredly as you see a pee stain on the wooden floor. âsheâs still learning how to live as a civilized lady.â you admit as you set the bags on the counter and walk over to the mop near your kitchen. you look up and see natasha kneeling down and stroking your puppyâs head, the sight tugs on your heartstrings. âsheâs cute.â natasha confirms, and you smirk as you mop up winnieâs mess. âthanks...â you trail off as a silence washes over you both.
âwould youââ
âi just came by toââ
you both start speaking simultaneously, causing you to bite your bottom lip. she stares at you, silently offering you to go first. âwould you like something to drink? i can make hot chocolate.â you ask calmly, and she shakes her head. âno thank you... i just... i know i promised to leave you alone... but i... i canât stop thinking about you. iâve felt like iâve been living my life on autopilot without you. iâm sorry. i know i shouldnât be here, but iâve never felt this way before.â she confesses, standing by the front door, her emerald eyes pouring into yours as she stares at you with an expression you canât even read. she looks even more broken than when you last saw her.
your fingers are playing with the ends of your flannel jacket, and you stare at her for awhile. âwh-why did you do that? you lied to me for a year. a whole year, natasha.â your voice cracks as you speak, and you mentally curse yourself for it. natashaâs fingernails dig into her palm as she clenches her fists, and she shakes her head. âno. the time we spent together was the greatest time of my life. i lied to you that night. i... you donât understand, that man who broke in, he wasnât just an intruder... i put you in danger. i have too many enemies, and i knew you wouldnât just let me go. so i hurt you, and iâm sorry.â natasha sounds full of shame and regret, and your brows scrunch together in confusion and a bit of anger.
âso you lied?? you said all of those horrible things so itâd be easier for me to let you go?? natashaâ it wasnât any easier for me to let you go! it felt like someone cut a hole in my chest!â youâre nearly shouting, your hand over your chest in emphasis. natasha shuts her eyes, a ragged breath escaping her lips as she tries to ignore the tears threatening to leave her eyes. when she opens them again, you can see the tears brimming in those emerald orbs, âiâm sorry... iâm so sorry, i thought youâd be better without me...â her voice is faint and your heart cracks in your chest at the sight of her. âwhy would you think that? i love you, natasha. youâre the best thing thatâs ever happened to me.â you say sincerely, and this causes her heart to flutter. natasha doesnât even realize sheâs crying until she can feel the tears streaming down her cheeks, and falling off her jaw onto her collarbone.
âyou love me again...?â she asks in complete shock. you shake your head, your own eyes full of tears. âi never stopped, nat.â you confess earnestly, and her bottom lip is quivering as her tears wonât stop. âiâm sorry, detka. iâm so sorry i left you. i love you so much, i always have.â her hands are shaking and itâs like your body has a mind of its own as you walk over to her slowly. you carefully inch up to her with your arms open, and her heart palpitates against your chest as she gladly reaches for you and pulls you against her.
her strong embrace engulfs you, and the smell of her makes you start to sob. you donât know how long you two are standing there like this. your arms around her waist and her arms around your neck, holding you to her chest. your tears were surely staining her shirt, but you didnât care. youâve missed her so much, sheâs all youâve been able to think about for months. âyou canât just do that, nat. you canâtâ you canât just make decisions for my benefit without talking to me about it.â you say sternly as you push her away, looking up at her with a stringent expression, yet the widow could see the vulnerability seeping through.
âi promise iâll never leave you again, detka. not as long as iâm breathing.â she swears, as she pulls you in again, kissing your head as she keeps you held tightly. thatâs a promise natasha intends to keep.
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hey beautiful could u write about a nat x reader break up and thereâs so much tension between them until they both break at a dinner party with the team and their dates đ
Hey Friend! You're so sweet. I hope this lands somewhere in the ballpark of what you were hoping for. Thank you for the request!
No Use In You Trying, Baby
You are invited to a dinner party. Reluctantly, you go and run into your ex.
Natasha Romanoff x fem Reader
Warnings: Hurt feelings. Language Cap wouldn't approve of.
Word Count: 2.8k
You were content to spend all your time in your lab. It was your happy place. Your playground. This was where you could think clearly, and where all your best ideas originated from. Plus, it wasnât as if you were hiding away in some basement cut off from the outside world. Your lab at the Compound was huge and had plenty of equally huge windows that allowed plenty of bright, warm sunlight in. And if you needed to socialize, there were plenty of people who walked by your lab daily.Â
But you didnât want to socialize. You wanted to focus on your work because for the first time in months you were finally making progress. Broken equipment and weapons that had just been sitting in your lab were finally leaving polished and new. Projects that had just only been sitting nestled in the back of your mind were suddenly finding life. It was amazing what you could accomplish in a single day without any distractions.Â
You rolled backwards on your black swivel chair as you stared at your notes on the yellow legal pad in your hands. You were curious what Clint would think of your idea for this new arrow. The idea had come to you last night, and you had been thinking about it ever since. The back of your chair pressed against one of the many lab tables. You lowered your notepad and turned. All thoughts regarding your new arrow idea fled at the sight of the batons laying on the table.Â
You held the batons in your hands and your brow furrowed as your thumbs pressed down on the button built into the base of the weapon. The usual quiet hum of the electrical discharge was silent. You tapped both of the batons together as if that would fix the problem, but nothing changed.Â
A pair of arms wrapped around you from behind. Familiar, warm hands settled against your stomach while her chin came to rest over your left shoulder.Â
âI tried that too,â her voice brushed against your ear.Â
You sighed as you studied the twin weapons. âIt shouldnât be too hard to fix. Itâs probably a broken conductor orâŚâ You trailed off when you felt her hands travel lower. Her fingers slipped underneath the hem of your shirt.Â
Who the hell put those there?Â
âIncoming call from Mr. Stark,â F.R.I.D.A.Yâs voice penetrated the quiet of your lab.Â
You stood up and collected the batons. âPut him through.â You listened as Tonyâs voice echoed throughout your lab. You carried the batons over to a growing stack of boxes running along the right side of your lab. You opened up the lid on one of the cardboard boxes as Tony went into detail about partnering up on another project he had in mind. You listened for key words while your thumb pressed down on the button at the base of one of the batons. You frowned. Still broken.Â
âI also need you at the Tower tonight,â Tony said.Â
You dumped the batons into the box. âWhy?âÂ
âBecause Iâm throwing together a little dinner party,â Tony replied. âJust the team. We havenât done one of those in a while.â Â
âIâm busy,â your reply was automatic.Â
âYou finished your last official project two weeks ago.âÂ
âIâm working through my backlog,â you replied.Â
âFine,â Tony said. There was a moment of quiet when you wondered if he had hung up the phone. Your question was answered when you turned your back to the boxes. âIâll be very interested to see how you manage to do that without any power.â
âYou canât be serious.âÂ
âTrust me, Iâm wearing my serious face,â Tony replied. âI can demonstrate if you want.âÂ
The lights in your lab flickered.
âFine. Iâll be there.âÂ
â â âÂ
You used to spend most of your time at Avengers Tower. This was where you got your start working for Tony Stark. When you first arrived at the Tower, you thought the labs there couldnât get any better. You had been allowed to play around with tech you could only fantasize about. The amount of resources you had at your disposal was endless. It was fun. You loved creating weapons and upgrading equipment for the team. There were few things better than challenging yourself to create something better than the perfect project you just finished.Â
When you entered the Tower, you were tempted to just go to your old floor. You hadnât been able to move everything from your old lab to your new one at the Compound. Playing around with what you had left behind seemed like a better idea than attending a dinner party. It wasnât that you didnât want to see the team. You did. But it hadnât even been a month since your last conversation with Natasha. The one that had ended badly. You knew she would be here, and the last thing you wanted to do was see her. Because then everything you had been ignoring would come rushing back. You wouldnât know what to say, and everything would just be easier if you kept your distance.Â
Too bad you werenât going to get what you wanted.Â
When you reached the top floor, Tony was the first to greet you. It seemed you were the last to arrive as the rest of the team were talking amongst each other. You spotted familiar faces. Most of the team had brought along their dates. It made you want to leave even more, but you put on your best smile as you made small talk with the team. Thor was in the middle of telling you a tale of his most recent battle when you saw her.Â
She was standing near the bar talking to Laura. Despite trying your best to focus on Thorâs story, you couldnât help but notice that she looked beautiful. Then again, Natasha always looked stunning. The black dress she wore now only complimented her features. Or rather, the dress acted more like a reminder of a lost privilege. You gripped your glass of expensive wine tighter at the thought. Privilege? You hadnât lost anything like that. Just a relationship that was bound to crash and burn.Â
â...and then he went flying off the mountain,â Thorâs laugh drew your attention back to the god. âNever thought itâd end like that.â He shook his head and then took a long drink from his flask. âSo, I hear you spend your time forging new weapons.â
âUh, yeah,â you looked past Thor. Natasha smiled at something Laura had said. Stop it. You focused back on Thor and started talking about all the projects you had completed recently. You chose to only talk about the projects you knew would keep Thorâs attention: equipment upgrades, a very close to being completed laser sword, and an attempt to copy his hammer. He found that last bit very funny.Â
You were grateful when everyone was summoned to the table for the actual dinner. All you had to do now was eat the food, make a tiny amount of more small talk, and then you could leave. You already had your excuses prepared. But as you approached the table, you realized that Tony had thrown a curveball your way. Tony had gone through (or rather he had someone else go through) and assigned the team seats. You already had an idea of where this was going, and your suspicion was confirmed when you found your seat right next to Natasha.Â
You looked over at Tony. He winked at you, and you were tempted to leave. Instead, you sat down in your seat and set your expensive wine down on the table. You could do this. She hadnât approached you yet this entire evening. The feeling of not wanting to interact with each other was mutual. You both could talk to other people. This was fine.Â
The smell of her perfume hit you first. It grabbed hold of you and yanked you back through countless memories. You remembered the smell of jasmine with the barest hint of vanilla flooding your senses when she pulled you in for that first kiss. You remembered how your legs turned to jelly, and you were terrified that you were going to fall. You didnât fall. Somehow, you stayed on your feet until the kiss was over. Your mind had gone blank. You had felt painfully dumb. What were you supposed to do?Â
She smiled as her hands settled at your waist. âArenât you going to kiss me back?âÂ
You looked to your left as she sat down in her seat. She looked gorgeous and happy. As if nothing life altering had happened. You felt a spike of jealousy. She probably had forgotten all about you by now. Breaking off your relationship hadnât changed anything for her. You had been right to doubt your relationship all along. You had only been a convenient fuck. You were so stupid to believe all those promises she made you. She certainly couldnât keep many of them.Â
You looked away and took a good, long drink of whatever Tony had poured into your glass. A wait staff appeared and set plates filled with delicious smelling food down in front of everyone. You set your now empty glass down, and another waiter appeared to refill it. You picked up your knife and fork and began cutting into the meat. You could do this. You should just pretend she isnât here. Rogers was sitting to your right. You could always just make conversation with him.Â
âIs this what weâre doing now?â her voice was low enough for only you to catch.Â
You forced yourself to keep your focus on your plate as you continued to cut into the meat. Red juices leaked from what was probably a delicious cut of meat. âYup.â You stabbed your fork into the tender meat and pushed it into your mouth. You chewed. Fuck. It was good. You heard her sigh, and you didnât need to look at her to know she was also, most likely, shaking her head.Â
âItâs a bad move,â she said.Â
You bit back the first thought that came to mind and continued to eat.Â
âThis is obviously a setup. Theyâre trying to fix things,â she continued when you didnât respond.Â
You looked around at the table as you chewed. Everyone else was busy talking amongst themselves. You swallowed and still refused to look at her. âThereâs nothing to fix.â She didnât respond right away and you reached for your glass. Maybe this was all about to end.Â
âThen I suggest we play along unless you want to go through this again,â she said.Â
You set your glass down before you could take a sip and finally looked over at her. âIâm not going to play along.â You spotted the familiar look of frustration cross her face. It didnât surprise you. Whenever you refused to go along with any of her plans, she got annoyed with you. You should have known from the very beginning that this relationship was never going to work. You felt stupid for even trying.Â
âFine. I guess Iâll see you at the next dinner party,â Natasha looked away from you.
âDonât hold your breath,â you stabbed your fork into another piece of meat. âIâm pretty sure Iâll be too busy to attend the next one.âÂ
âDidnât you already try that excuse?â she asked.Â
You shoveled the piece of meat into your mouth and chewed. You didnât bother to ask how she knew that. It was Natasha. She knew everything about you. You hated it. You hated that she was right. You hated sitting here so close to her. Every minute that passed was just more reminders of what had made you happy. It was gone, and you just wanted it all to stay dead. Why hadnât Natasha shown up with the date? Why didn't you? You could think of a dozen ways you could have approached this whole stupid thing differently. Â
âY/N,â her voice was softer now and you felt a burning behind your eyes.Â
âI canât do this,â you heard the waver in your voice. You shouldnât have come. You knew what would happen. You knew you would see her. You knew you would feel all these things. You werenât sure if you couldnât hear the other conversations happening around the table because people had stopped talking or because your quickening heart beat was now filling your ears. âI canât.âÂ
You felt her hand fall over your own, and you quickly snatched your hand back and stood up. You felt the rest of the teamâs eyes on you as you quickly left. You heard their voices all rise up as one, but you didnât look back. You just needed to leave. Get some fresh air. Go back to the Compound and forget about all of this.Â
Your pace quickened as you left the team behind and hurried towards the elevator. You were grateful that the doors parted immediately upon pushing the button. You stepped inside and pressed the button that would take you down to the garage. Your vision blurred and you felt a hot tear spill down your cheek. You quickly wiped it away. Stupid. This had been stupid. The doors started to close and just when you thought your escape was complete, Natasha slipped into the elevator.Â
The doors shut completely and you shook your head. âNo.â Your hand reached out towards the panel of buttons. You went to push the button that would force the elevator doors back open, but Natasha grabbed your hand before you could. âLet go, Nat. Iâm not going back to that stupid party.âÂ
âThatâs not why Iâm here,â she said and released your hand the moment the elevator began to descend.Â
Your hand dropped back down to your side. âThen why are you here?â You realized that was the wrong question to ask as her red lips parted to answer. You shook your head. âNo! No. I donât want to know. Just leave me alone.âÂ
She took a small step closer to you, and you instinctively stepped back and felt your back pressed against the cool wall of the elevator. âYouâre not even going to give me a chance?âÂ
âA chance to do what? Lure me back to your side with more fake promises of some happy life together? You canât use that bullshit on me anymore. I was just a convenient fuck for you,â you felt another tear slip, and you used the back of your hand to wipe it away.Â
âYou broke up with me,â she argued.Â
âBecause you pushed me away,â your voice wavered again, and you hated it. âEvery time I tried to help or understand, you kept me out. The only time you let me in was when you wanted to fuck me. The only time you wanted me around was if you wanted to have sex with me. I wasnât your girlfriend. I was your toy.âÂ
âI know.â
You were ready for anything. You had replayed all your arguments in your head hundreds of times. You were ready for any of her arguments. Except for that. Those two words caught you completely off guard.Â
âI messed up,â she said. âAnd Iâm sorry.â
What was happening? This wasnât how things were supposed to go. You were supposed to argue back and forth until you were both spent and upset and eager to get away from each other.Â
âPlease let me try again.â
She had somehow managed to get even closer to you. Her voice was soft, and her olive green eyes were searching your face. She was trying to gauge your emotions. You could only wonder what she saw because you didnât know how to feel. Tears still threatened to spill down your cheeks from all the pain you had been shoving down these past few weeks. Walking away from her had hurt so much. Because you did love her, and it had killed you to realize that she didnât love you.Â
You wanted to leap at this chance. You wanted it so badly, but you were hesitant. You had barely been able to walk away from her last time. You werenât sure you would be able to do it again if all of this happened again. But you wanted to believe it wouldnât. You wanted to believe that there was still some life in this dying husk of a relationship.Â
You didnât realize what had happened until her lips were pressed against yours. It felt like your first kiss all over again, only better. It felt familiar. The kiss was soft but needy. It reminded you of all the other ways she had kissed you before. The smell of her perfume flooded your senses, and you just wanted to collapse into her arms. You were tired of being angry. Tired of being upset. You wanted this. The kiss ended far too soon, and you started to lean forward to chase her retreating lips.Â
You saw her smile when the elevator reached the garage floor, and the doors opened. You didnât make any move to leave. Instead, you waited for the elevator doors to close before you leaned forward to kiss her back.Â
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okay besties everyone put in their tags what theyre majoring or what they majored in im so curious
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STOP THIS IS SO CUTE
Widowâs Charm
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary:Â Natasha finds herself falling for Tonyâs new lab assistant and weapons technician.
Warnings: fluff
Words: 3322
Natasha walks down the hallway towards Tonyâs lab, holding her widow bite gauntlets in her hand. Typically, she would have just sent them down to be repaired, but an unexpected mission came up which means she needs them fixed sooner rather than later. Reaching the entrance of the lab, the doors slide open for her as she enters.
âHey Tony, can you fixâ,â Natasha stops when she notices someone else working in the lab.
You look up from your work table at the new voice in the room and see the Black Widow staring at you curiously. You have been working at the Avengerâs Compound as the new weapons technician as well as Tonyâs lab assistant for the past few months.Â
Since then, youâve met all of the other Avengers already except for the mysterious Black Widow, though you have repaired some of her equipment that she had sent down previously.Â
Tony tells you that she prefers to keep to herself, which you can understand. You settled with the fact that you may never meet her in person, so it is a small shock to see her standing in front of you.
Putting down your tools, you wipe your hands on your apron and walk over to her. Extending your hand to her, you give her a polite smile as you introduce yourself.
âHello, my name is Y/n L/n. Iâm the new weapons technician and Mr. Starkâs assistant in the lab. How can I help, Ms. Romanoff?âÂ
A small surprised smile forms on Natashaâs face at your words. Intrigued to learn more about you, she raises her hand to yours in greeting.
âHi, you can just call me Nataâ.âÂ
âNo, no, no!â A voice yells from down the halls outside of the lab.
Tony comes rushing into the lab, breathing heavily. Looking around frantically, his eyes widen at the two of you. He rushes over to you quickly, grabbing you by the shoulders, and pushing you away from Natasha and out into the hallway.Â
âI need you to go get the thing from Pepper.â He tells you.
âWhat thing?â you ask in confusion as you turn back around to him.
He gives you a brief wave before pressing the button on the side, shutting the lab doors in your face. For a moment, Tony remains standing by the door, tensed as he purposely avoid looking at Natasha. Then, in the next second, his entire body suddenly relaxes, and he moves casually over to his workstation.Â
âFRIDAY, whatâs the plan for today?â Tony asks.
âThe parts for the new repulsors arrived today, sir,â the AI voice replies.
âGreat, get those plans pulled up for me, will you?â
Natasha blinks at the lab doors as she tries to process what just happened. She turns to Tony, looking for an explanation.
âWhat the hell was that Tony?â she exclaims.
Tony looks at her with his eyebrows raised. âWhat was what?â
âYou just suddenly pushed Y/n out of the room.â
Tony's mouth presses into a tight line as he gives her a confused look. âNever heard of her. Was there somebody here FRIDAY?â
âNo, sir.âÂ
Tony nods back at her with a satisfied look.
Crossing her arms, Natasha was about to argue when the lab doors opened up again.Â
Pepper walks into the room towards Tony. âY/n said you told her to get a âthingâ from me?â
Tony lets out a groan as he hangs his head. Sighing, he gestures to Natasha.
âY/n met Natasha.âÂ
Pepper lets out an exasperated sigh. âReally, Tony? We talked about this. You canât place all the blame on her.â
Natasha raises her hands to get their attention. âCan somebody please explain to me whatâs going on?â
Pepper turns to her, a small apologetic look on her face. âTony thinks you are the reason why his assistants keep quitting.â
Natasha frowns at the accusation. âHow is that my fault?â
Tony scoffs in disbelief. âFRIDAY, pull up the timeline.âÂ
A holographic screen pops up between them showing the past year with certain dates highlighted. Tony points to one of the earliest dates in the year.Â
âAvery Grayson. She met you on her second day on the job. A week later she asks you out but you decline. She turns in her resignation the following week.â
Natasha raises her eyebrows at the information. âThat doesnât proveââÂ
Tony interrupts her. âQuinn Turner. She confesses to you a month after your first interaction. Gets turned down too and then quits three days later.â
Tony brings up the two most recent dates. âSame thing with Riley and Harper. Itâs a pattern. They meet you, fall for you, get rejected, and then quit.â
Natasha looks over at Pepper, silently asking if he was serious. In response, Pepper gives her a resigned nod as she rubs her head tiredly.
Tony gets her attention when he points at her accusingly. âDo you know how hard it is to find competent people who know how to handle this level of equipment?â
Natasha lets out a huff of disbelief, crossing her arms. She remembers his previous assistants. To be honest, most of her interactions with them were completely professional. She didnât get close to any of them personally or showed any romantic interest, which made each of the confessions surprising to her.Â
Still, this doesnât explain what he was trying to do with you. She raises her eyebrow at him.
âSo your plan was to what? Hide your new assistant from me forever?â
âNot forever. Just until I can find someone for her so that she doesnât fall for you.â
Natasha rolls her eyes at his ridiculousness. Focusing back on her original intention, she places her widow bite gauntlets on the work table.
âCan you just fix these for me? I have a mission in a few hours.â
âFine, but you stay away from my assistant.â He warns.
Natasha heads toward the exit and waves her hand, dismissing his words. Itâs not like she intends to make you fall for her, but she has to admit that she is interested to learn more about you.Â
âââ
You look up from your sketches at the sound of the lab door opening and see the Black Widow stroll into the room. You give her a smile in greeting.
âWelcome back, Ms. Romanoff. Are you looking for Mr. Stark?â
She walks over to your workspace, leaning slightly against the table as she looks at you.
âActually, I was coming to see you, and you can just call me Natasha. We got interrupted the last time we met.â
Nodding your head, you laugh softly at the memory.
âPepper explained to me what that was about.â You give her a teasing suspicious look. âSo are you here to make me fall for you?â
Natasha gives you an amused smile. Most people donât usually get comfortable around her so quickly.Â
âOnly if you want to.â She says it nonchalantly.
You chuckle at her response. âUnfortunately, you wonât be hearing a confession from me soon. I like my job here.âÂ
Natasha feels a tinge of disappointment at your words, her smile dropping slightly. You donât notice though since your attention had drifted to the widow bite gauntlets on her wrists.
âSpeaking of, did you want me to take a look at that?â You can see that there was some damage from a fight probably during her recent mission.
Glancing down, Natasha shrugs. âI can do it later myself.â
âWell, that explains why I donât see your stuff across my desk that often.â You raise your hand out to her anyway.
She stares at you curiously before slowly placing her hand in yours.
You let out a small laugh at her action. âThis is nice, but I actually want the gauntlets.â You hold her hand gently in yours before turning it around to reach the clasp on the weapon.
Natasha tilts her head as she observes you. You were focused but gentle as you worked, and you didnât show any signs that you were intimidated by who she was. In fact, you were pretty cute as you scrunch your face in concentration. She decides to tease you a little.
âYou know, I donât usually let people take things off my body until at least the second date.â
You remove the second gauntlet from her other wrist with a start before you see the teasing smirk on her face. You let out a small huff before refocusing your attention on your table. âI see what Mr. Stark means when he said you were charming.â
Natasha raises an eyebrow. âOh? And what else did he tell you about me?â
âThat you didnât like meeting new people, though now I think that may have been a lie.â
Natasha shrugs before leaning in a little closer to you. âItâs sort of true. I just prefer to meet people that Iâm interested in.â
You turn away from her to hide the smile on your face, pretending to look for some tools.Â
The lab doors slide open as Tony walks in while reading the tablet in his hand. Looking up, he sighs sadly when he sees Natasha next to you. âDid she get to you already?â
You give him a reassuring look. âNo confessions from me. Natasha just needed some things fixed.â
Tony stares at the two of you doubtfully before pointing to Natasha. âDonât you have reports to do or something?â
Rolling her eyes, Natasha stands to leave. She turns to you with a soft smile. âIâll come visit more often now that I know you exist.â
You bite your lips to hide your smile as you watch her leave.Â
As Natasha exits the lab, she hears Tonyâs voice call out.
âFRIDAY, can you restrict her access to the lab?â
âIâm afraid Ms. Potts has already denied that request, sir.â
Natasha smirks at the AI response. She should get something for Pepper later as thanks.
âââ
As she said, over the following weeks, Natasha visits you often in the lab. Sometimes with some equipment that needed to be fixed. Other times just to talk. Later, when she finds out that you usually eat your lunch in the lab, she would also join you if she had the time.Â
You look up when you hear the doors open, already knowing who to expect. Natasha walks in, waving the take-out bag in her hands.
You groan in relief at the sight of her. âYou are a lifesaver.âÂ
You stand and grab the food from her eagerly before moving it to an area where the two of you can eat.
Natasha sits on the edge of your work table as she watches you set out the food. âWell, I know how you get absorbed into your work and forget to eat.â She tells you knowingly.
Her eyes glance at the papers on your desk that you were previously working on. Most of them had rough sketches of designs for some of the equipment of the other Avengers. Her name on one paper catches her attention. Picking it up, Natasha examines the details curiously.Â
At the sudden silence, you glance up at her. You do a double take when you realize what she was looking at. Over time, as you worked on her equipment, youâve noticed that her current suitâs belt doesnât hold much ammo or gadgets, so you had sketched some ideas that you had for her.
âThatâs just some ideas of some upgrades that I had. Itâs not really anything worth looking at.âÂ
Natasha shakes her head in disagreement before handing the paper back to you. âI like it. Iâm sure Tony will get you the parts that you would need if you want to work on it.â
âReally?â you ask her, astonished.
She nods at you reassuringly before pushing you back towards the food. âWe can discuss it later, but first, letâs eat.â
A few weeks later, you completed your first prototype, and you were excited to show Natasha and test it out.
Natasha admires the new belt on the table. It was still slim and compact, but she can see where you had added extra slots for her weapons. You also included her signature red symbol on the buckle.
You were practically buzzing with excitement. âI just need to see if there needs to be any more adjustments with the sizing.â
Without thinking, you grab her hand to pull her closer to you. You move quickly as you remove her current belt. Taking the new belt, your hands wrap around her waist as you grab one end before bringing it to her front and snapping it into place. You fidget with the belt, checking for any snags or looseness, totally absorbed in your work.Â
Natashaâs initial surprised expression melts into an amused and fond look on her face as she watches you. You were adorable when you concentrated on your work, and honestly, sheâs not sure how much longer she can hold in her feelings for you.
After performing your final checks and detailing little changes that needed to be adjusted, you suddenly froze when you realized Natasha hadnât said a word since you started.Â
Your eyes widened, mortified when you see your current position. Your body had moved closer to Natashaâs when you were making adjustments. One of your hands was still placed atop the belt while the other was resting against her stomach, and you could feel her toned body underneath your hand. You swallow nervously as you look up at her.
She tilts her head at you as you continue to stare at her. âEverything okay?â
The closeness between your bodies was making it hard for you to think. Eventually, you were able to get your brain to function enough to respond.
âYeahâŚall good.â You unconsciously lick your lips out of embarrassment.
You see Natasha's eyes flick down to your mouth at the action, and you feel your face heat up even more. You should definitely step away from her now. As you go to move, Natashaâs next words causes you to stop in surprise.
âWould you like to go out with me?â
Your eyes widen at her question, and you see a hopeful expression on her face as she waits for your response. Instinctively, you want to say âyesâ and close the distance between you two, but you stop yourself, hesistating.Â
Natasha sees the conflicting feelings on your face, so she decides to ease the pressure a little with some teasing.Â
âYou know, according to Tonyâs theory, since Iâm the one who confessed, a rejection would mean that I would need to quit my job.â
You can't help but laugh at her reasoning before giving her a playful smile, teasing back. âWell, we canât have the Black Widow quitting over a failed confession.â
Natasha places her hands on your waist, pulling you in closer. She tilts her head at you in question. âI havenât failed yet. Technically, you never gave me an answer.â
You move your arms to wrap around the back of her neck as you pretend to think about your decision. âSo I still get to keep my job?â
Natasha nods reassuringly. âFor however long you can stand working with Tonyâs ego.â
You give her a fond smile. âThen yes, I would love to go out with you.â
âââ
Tony was throwing you a party to celebrate your first anniversary since working with the Avengers and him, even though you insisted that it wasnât necessary. He disagrees, saying how nobody has lasted this long, so you relented.
Naturally, you went with Natasha as your date since you have been dating her for several months already. The only problem is that you forgot to update Tony about your new relationship.
When the two of you enter the party, Natasha leans down and whispers next to your ear. âIâll go get us something to drink.â With a light touch against your back, she walks away toward the bar.Â
You are lost in your thoughts as you admire her walk away, so you are startled when Tony slides in front of you, excitement in his eyes.
âY/n! Good, I found you.â
You smile at him, used to his frantic energy by now. âHello, Mr. Stark, was there something that you needed?â
He waves his hand dismissively at you.
âThis party is for you, and youâve been working with me for a year now. Iâve told you to just call me Tony.âÂ
You give him an apologetic look before asking him curiously. âYou said you were looking for me?â
Tony claps his hands at the reminder.
âYes, I want you to meet someone. Sheâs a nice person, has a great personality, and she works as a pilot.â
You raise your hand to try and stop him. âI already have someââ
âOh, here she is!â
You give him a tight smile as the woman approaches the two of you. Tony pats you on the back in encouragement, turning to leave.
âAlright, Iâll leave the two of you alone.â
âWait, Tonyâ,â you try to stop him, but he rushes away. Turning back to the woman, you give her a polite smile as she introduces herself.
Meanwhile, Natasha was standing at the bar, waiting for your drinks.
âI am the greatest boss ever,â Tony exclaims, sliding in next to her.
Natasha rolls her eyes at his words. Deciding to indulge him while she waits, she asks him to explain. âHowâs that?â
âI just found the perfect date for our favorite weapons techie.â
Natasha frowns when she realizes what he said. Turning around to look at where she left you, she sees that you were currently talking with a beautiful woman.Â
Her posture relaxes when she reads your body language. You had a polite smile on your face as you listened to the woman, but she could see how tense your body was, and your hand at your side kept fidgeting with your dress.Â
âNow I donât have to worry about her falling for you.â Tony says smugly.
âNo, we wouldnât want that,â Natasha smirks as she turns back around to grab the drinks that the bartender just placed in front of her.Â
Tony notices the two drinks in her hands and raises his eyebrows at her. âYou have a date?â
âGirlfriend.â Without explaining further, she heads back toward you. By the time Natasha reaches you, the other woman was already turning to leave, nodding at Natasha in acknowledgment.Â
You let out a breath of relief as Natasha comes back to your side. Thankfully, the woman was understanding when you explained the situation to her.Â
Natasha hands you your drink as she returns her hand around your waist, pulling you against her. She sighs in disappointment as she watches the woman leave. âHere I thought I had the chance to be a hero and save you.â
You give her a teasing smile. âMaybe next time.âÂ
Natasha presses a soft kiss to your lips in response before pulling away.
You tilt your head curiously at her. âWhat was that for?â
Natasha gives you an affectionate look. âFirst, because I love you.âÂ
Her expression shifts into a smirk. âSecond, is Tony freaking out?â
You look over her shoulders at the bar and see Tony gaping at the two of you, pointing accusingly at Natasha while Pepper holds him back from rushing over.
You turn back to her, giving her an amused look. âHeâs going to lock you out again.â
Natasha just shrugs, unbothered. âHe canât keep me away from you.â She raises her eyebrows suggestively at you. âHe also canât stop you from visiting me in my room during your breaks.â
You push her lightly before bringing her face close for a kiss.
When you accepted this job, you never thought you would end up in a relationship with the Black Widow. Then again you never imagine that she would end up falling for you.
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fucking hell iâm crying iâm so invested in this
A Love Lost
Chasing Shadows AU
Summary: From a young age you could see the ghost of those died and youâve used your gift to help those around you. But when you and the Avengers bring back those who were Blipped, you wished you didnât have your gift as Natasha didnât return from Vomir.Â
Warning: major character deaths, grief, angst, small mention of kidnapping in the beginning.Â
Word Count: 3.1K
âSheâs here,â Clint said, sitting down next to you. âIsnât she?â You havenât spoken since Thanos was killed and the ashes of the compound settled. You gave the archer a small nod. She was here, standing in the corner, wearing the tactical suit she wore the last time you saw her. âHas she said anything?â You shrugged. That was new when you saw the ghost of the dead you could hear, and speak to them but Natasha was silent. Her mouth moved but her words werenât reaching you. Clint sighed. âWhat do you need?â You looked over his shoulder to the woman you loved.Â
âFor her to leave,â you said. But she didnât. She stayed.Â
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absolute favorite. maybe iâll relate to this soon? lmao, anyway, thank you for this <3
i hate men (natasha romanoff x female reader)
the gif is not mine!
summary: so⌠being hopelessly in love with your best friend and getting super drunk is not the best combination? who wouldâve thought? (a bit of angst but mostly fluff)
a/n: send me natasha requests if you want to!!!!!! you can send me normal requests, or you can also send me a taylor swift song and iâll write a natasha fic with it!
\\\\
you hated stark parties. they were loud, messy, annoying and did you mention loud?
being an introvert was a difficult task at the avengers compound, where these sort of events were being held every two weeks.
sighing, you gulp down the last of your drink. today you chose a coke, since you didnât want to get drunk and embarrass yourself like the others always did.
âhaving fun?â
âno!â you say over enthusiastically. natasha snorts and shakes her head at you from behind the bar. she looks stunning, wearing a tight black dress that hugs her body perfectly and her red hair loose and wild. she never goes heavy on the make up, you noticed. not that she needs it, sheâs breathtakingly beautiful without it.
âyou should at least dance to one song, maybe youâll even enjoy it.â she says, pulling you out of your not so friendly thoughts of her.ďżź
âi refuse.â
âdonât act like a petulant child.â
âdonât act like my mother.â natasha smirks. god that smirk. âif you call yourself mommy, iâm leaving.â the redhead shrugs.
âyou handed it to me on a silver platter.â
âwhatever.â you roll your eyes.
âiâll have a manhattan, please.â a man slides up next to you on a barstool. natasha nods and begins preparing his drink. you donât fail to notice the manâs lascivious look as he stares at her. it makes your blood boil. you know she hates when men sexualize her. and, truth be told, you hate it too. maybe not always for the right reasons, but most of the time they are. natasha romanoff is the best person in the entire world. she is also your favorite person in the entire world. sheâs super smart, sheâs so funny you almost peed yourself an embarrassing amount of times in front of her, sheâs brave, sheâs so goddamn brave you sometimes wish she wasnât so she wouldnât put herself at risk. but thatâs the thing about natasha, she does that because she cares. she cares so much about everyone, and contrary to what people would think, itâs not because she feels guilty for her past, but because sheâs good. her heart is so good, so kind. and sheâs strong, the strongest. you know what she went through and still, she remained good. that takes a hell of a lot strength. and yes, sheâs hot. sheâs so fucking hot sometimes you canât believe sheâs even real. but sheâs so much more than that. sheâs your best friend, and the woman that you-
âthanks, gorgeous.â the manâs voice brings you back to reality and you look at him, hoping youâre shooting lasers out of your eyes and burning him. natasha simply nods and looks at you from the corner of her eye. you know what that look means, you know what every look means. if he tries something, iâm gonna shoot him.
you purse your lips to stop yourself from laughing loudly, your anger long forgotten when she enters your line of sight.
the man clears his throat, trying to gain her attention.
âso, you from around here?â
âno.â she tells him. then, she gives him a fake smile. âif you donât mind, iâm pretty busy.â he does not seem to take the hint, so you turn to him.
âsheâs asking you to leave.â
âand who are you?â
âone of tony starkâs closest friends. you wouldnât want to be black listed for his parties for eternity, would you?â the man widens his eyes a bit. âyeah, i thought so. now, leave.â you shoo him away with a gesture of your hand, almost dismissively and he, thank every god that exists, gets up and leaves.
âmy knight in shining armor.â natasha tells you, smirking. âyou saved me.â you wish she was right. you wish you had done it to save her instead of yourself. but, to be frank, you didnât. of course you donât want her to feel uncomfortable, but you know she can handle herself just fine. the one who couldnât stand it was you. you are an idiot. an idiot whoâs hopelessly in love with her best friend.
âsorry, i know you can defend yourself. i just-â
âyou just what?â she raises an eyebrow. you know that expression. it means sheâs challenging you to tell her.
âi just hate men.â for a second, she looks almost disappointed. but you probably imagined that.
âyeah.â she nods. âiâm gonna head to the ladies room.â and then she leaves.
you sigh and run your hands over your face. natasha romanoff is going to be the death of you. but oh, what a sweet death.
âwhen are you gonna tell her?â samâs voice makes you lift your head up.
âtell who what?â
âtell natasha that you love her.â
âiâve already told her that a million times.â
âno.â he shakes his head. âthat you love her love her, that you wanna kiss her.â you scoff.
ânever. oh and also, could you keep it quiet? what if she hears you?â
âthen finally you will both admit that youâre in love with one another and stop giving each other longing glances across every single room youâre in.â
âi donât give her longing glances.â you lie. of course you do.
âuh-huh.â
âwhatever samantha. donât care, didnât ask. plus i donât even know if she likes girls.â
âshe likes you.â
âas a friend.â
âyou are so goddamn stubbornâŚâ he begins saying, but his voice fades into the background when you see her. your breathing stops. sheâs dancing. sheâs swaying her hips and smiling and she looks so fucking angelic you want to pinch yourself because, surely, this must be a dream. but then, your heart drops to your stomach. heâs touching her. he has his fucking hands on her hips as he dances behind her and she isnât pushing him away. you feel sick to your stomach. âhey, you there?â sam waves his hand in front of you. âheyâŚ?â he trails off. then he probably follows your line of sight because he ohs in understanding. he says your name and pity drips from it. âtheyâre just dancing.â
âyeah.â you say, choked up. you hate that seeing her with someone else makes your heart burn from the pain. but it does, and it hurts so much. it was the first time since you admitted to yourself that you were in love with her that you saw her with another person. a man. stupid men and their stupid hands. tears well up in your eyes, but you wonât cry. you refuse to cry. not for love. never.
âwhat are you doing?â sam asks you as you walk all the way around the bar and crouch under it. âdonât.â he tells you when he sees whatâs in your hands. you look at him dead in the eye and gulp down the whiskey straight from the bottle.
\\\\
âwoo! this is so fun!â you shout over the music. youâve been dancing for almost an hour now and you were most definitely drunk. you donât even notice sam and natasha calling your name.
âwhat are you doing? you hate drinking.â the redhead frowns.
âmaybe itâs time for someone to go to bed.â
âyes, nat. go to bed.â you tell her.
âno, whiskey straight out of the bottle, iâm talking about you.â you laugh at samâs long nickname but then you pout when you sway and almost fall to the floor. âyou wanna take care of it?â he asks the spy and she nods.
âiâll take her to bed.â
âand what will we do there?â you ask suggestively. natasha looks at you unimpressed.
âyou, lay down. me, scold you.â
âare you gonna spank me?â you smirk. she swallows hard. uh oh, sheâs mad. you raise your hands innocently in front of you and she rolls her eyes.
âletâs go.â you want to protest but you know better than that. begrudgingly you begin following her, but stop when the room starts to spin. natasha must notice it, because she turns around and puts her arm around your waist and your arm around her shoulders.
the walk to your room is silent, except for your giggles. you donât really know what youâre giggling about, but sheâs here so it makes sense to do so.
she helps you lay down on your bed and takes off your shoes. as she does so, you look at her. god, you love her so much. and god, you are doomed for life.
âyouâre never gonna love me.â you blurt out. she looks at you and frowns.
âwhat?â
âyouâre never gonna love me.â you tell her again, pouting. she waits until sheâs tucked you in the bed to answer.
âof course i love you.â
âno.â you frown. âyou donât.â
âwhat are you talking about?â
âiâm so drunk.â you say out of the blue.
âcome on, on your side.â you do as she says and position yourself on your side, so you donât drown in your own vomit and die.
âyou donât want me to die.â you slur, almost asleep now.
âof course i donât want you to die!â you open your eyes and look at her. sheâs kneeling next to you on the bed and sorting out some pills for tomorrow morning. youâre most likely going to need them. she then puts them on your nightstand next to your water bottle.
âbut you donât love me.â you say again. she looks at you, frowning. you stare at her. her green eyes, so kind. her cheeks, you want to squeeze them between your fingers and call her cute. her eyebrows, so perfect. and her lips, god, her lips. they look so soft. you bet theyâre warm to the touch. so kissable.
âyouâre so beautiful, natty.â
she looks taken aback by that, but she quickly recovers and smiles softly.
âdonât try to sweet talk me into not being mad at you.â
âiâm not!â you protest. âyou can be mad at me but youâre still the prettiest girl in the world.â
âyouâre drunk.â
âand youâre beautiful.â
she says your name softly with a smile on her face.
âget some rest, detka.â her hand is softly combing through your hair.
âi love it when you call me detka. did i pronounce that right? probably not.â you mumble. she chuckles.
âyou pronounced it right.â
ânatâŚâ you say.
âwhat?â
âi love you.â
âi love you too.â
âno.â you pout. âdonât lie. itâs not nice.â she stops caressing your hair and frowns.
âwhat is it with you today? of course i love you.â
âno, nat. i love you love you.â
âi love you love you too.â she tells you.
âi love like i wanna kiss you love you not youâre my best friend love you.â she blinks at you. for a bit she doesnât say anything. then she briefly shakes her head and sighs.
âyouâre drunk. you should get some rest.â your heart breaks. she doesnât love you like that. you shouldâve known. now youâve ruined everything. tears begin welling up in your eyes and it isnât long before youâre crying.
âhey, hey- donât cry.â she tells you as she wipes your tears with her thumb.
âi told you you didnât love me.â she says your name again and takes a deep breath.
âyouâre not gonna remember this but- if you do, weâll talk in the morning.â
and then she leaves. tonight you are crying yourself to sleep.
\\\\
you open your eyes and stretch your limbs. then, you sit up and immediately groan. the most violent headache is currently splitting your mind into two. what possessed you to drink so fucking much? oh, natasha romanoff and her stupid beautiful self. and seeing her with another man, that definitely didnât help.
you tsk and roll your eyes.
what even happened last night after you got hammered? how did you even get up to your room? did sam bring you here? did nat? no, she was too busy with someone else.
a knock on your door pulls you out of your thoughts and you tell the person to come in, and even though it comes out more as a mumble, they seem to understand, because the door opens. there, standing in all her glory, is natasha romanoff herself, accompanied by a small brown bag and a coffee, you notice after a bit.
âhey.â she greets you from the doorway.
âhi.â
âi brought you breakfast. figured you might wanna eat before taking an aspirin.â
âthank you.â you tell her and she nods awkwardly. then, she approaches you and sits down on the bed in front of you while your back is against the headboard. âdid sam bring me here last night?â
ânope. i did.â
âoh⌠thanks natty.â she swallows and gives you a small smile that actually resembles more a wince than anything else. weird.
âso⌠did i do something embarrassing? please tell me i didnât try to strip on top of a table or something.â she chuckles and shakes her head.
âyou didnât try to strip.â
âbut did i do other embarrassing things?â she opens her mouth to speak but then, surprising you, she pauses and abruptly shakes her head. oh no. what did you do that is making her act so strange? you try to remember. you saw her dancing with that man and decided to get drunk. she says she was the one who brought you to your bedroom so something mustâve happened here. did you puke all over her or something? or even worse, did you admit your feelings? your eyes widen. oh no. oh no, oh no, oh no no no. thatâs exactly what you did, you goddamn idiot! you remember now. you told her you loved her! you told her you wanted to kiss her! of course sheâs being weird!
ânat-â
âyou donât have to say anything.â she cuts you off.
âi really wish that was the case cause iâm really fucking embarrassed but- i need to say something.â
âwe all say dumb shit when weâre drunk.â
âi said the dumbest shit i couldâve ever said.â you deadpan. for a second you see a flash of hurt in her eyes, but itâs gone as soon as it appears. could it be that she- no, no, she didnât feel that way about you.
ânat-â she puts her hand up.
âdonât need to say anything, iâll just forget it happened.â
âbut nat-â she says your name again, almost begging.
âplease, just drop it. i get it, you didnât mean what you said. itâs okay.â you open your mouth to say something but then you close it and frown. did she think you didnât mean what you said? thatâs why she wanted you to stop talking about it? because she wanted you to mean it?
âi-â you look at her with wide eyes. this is it. youâre gonna tell her in the most beautiful, poetic way that you- âi hate men.â what? the redhead frowns. âi meant, i- ugh- i hate men but i especially hate them when theyâre dancing with you.â
âwhat?â she asks now, seemingly confused.
âi saw you dancing with that guy last night. i got- ugh iâm so dumb- i got jealous. i got jealous cause iâm in love with you and⌠and i want to be the one who dances with you like that.â natasha does not say a word. you simply continue, because of course once youâve started you canât stop. âiâm so in love with you nat, i- you are literally my favorite person in the world. you are so smart and funny and kind and strong and- you can totally slap me and never talk to me again but if this is the last time weâre gonna speak i want you to know that- that i love you with my whole heart and i will always love you.â for the first time since youâve met her, natasha romanoff is speechless. you donât know if itâs because sheâs desperately in love with you too or sheâs simply thinking of different ways to kill you and get rid of your body. you really hope itâs the former. âum- could you- could you say something, please?â she blinks but still, nothing. god, you broke her. ânat- iâm sorry, i shouldnât have-â and sheâs kissing you. natashaâs lips are on yours and youâre in heaven. or something above heaven because this is simply too perfect, too beautiful. she moves against you, softly, so softly, as if sheâs afraid to hurt you. your arms are glued to your body and hers are too. almost as if you were scared to break the spell if you touched each other. the kiss is gentle, sweet, but it sends a shock through your body. youâve never felt like that. kissing was simply not that interesting to you, but now you understand why people in romantic movies do it so often. natashaâs kiss is healing every broken bone inside your body, itâs like a cure, fixing, mending. but unfortunately, it ends all too soon. when she pulls away you let out a soft whine and she chuckles, almost making fun of you. you lay your forehead on hers and you both breathe in deeply. then, you open your eyes to find that sheâs already looking at you.
âso, does this mean you love me too?â
âoh no, that was a platonic kiss.â
ânatasha!â you whine and she shuts you up by placing another kiss on your lips.
âof course i love you detka. iâve loved you for so long.â
âi wasnât even sure if you liked girls.â you tell her as you lift your hand and caress her face.
âi wasnât either but thenâŚâ
âthenâŚâ you raise your eyebrows.
âthis beautiful girl showed up in my life and i couldnât help but fall in love with her.â your heart takes a leap and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from grinning like a maniac.
âwhat an amazing girl.â you tell her.
âthe best.â
âi love you.â you kiss her again. âiâm so happy i think iâm gonna vomit rainbows.â natasha letâs out a laugh.
âdonât vomit on me or iâm kicking you ass.â you pout at her.
âyou wouldnât.â she looks at you, serious for a moment. then, she breaks into a smile.
âi wouldnât.â you laugh breathily and purse your lips.
âi canât believe i started this whole confession by saying i hate men.â the redhead laughs.
âi canât believe you said that either.â
âhey!â her shoulders shake as she laughs. she looks so angelic when sheâs happy. you sigh softly, dreamily. you might hate men, but you sure as hell donât hate natasha romanoff.
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oh my god amazing
guys itâs natashaâs 40th birthday wat da eff
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OKAY
someone on twitter just said it's gonna be nat's last birthday this december (she d words next year n we're basically canon in the mcu right) LIKE MY GOD THAT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR I'M EMOTIONAL AGAIN
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please, for the love of god, put fluff fics in the fluff tag and put smut fics in the smut tag.
itâs not rocket science. all i see in #natasha romanoff fluff is 18+ and i just want good fluff tonight :(
no hate, iâve probably done something like that when i was still actively writing and i understand, but the fluff tag is loaded with smut. do people not write fluff as much anymore? /genq
tag added so this can get some sort of engagement.
this lowkey makes me want to write again
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oh this is great. i could totally see this as a series and i'd eat it up.
donât fear the reaper
pairing: wanda maximoff x reader
SPOILERS FOR MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS
synopsis: she took the gamble. what more could she lose?
word count: 0.6k
a/n: this is the product of 2am mom brainrot . . . what the actual fuck is this
ââââ ââ
â ââââ
She looked and saw the fear in her childrenâs eyes, cowering behind the rails as they yelled at her, âWitch! Witch!â
Her fingertips, black and rotten, shakily hovered in front of them, asking them to stop.
It wasnât supposed to be this way. I did all of this for you. Please donât be scared.
A force knocked her off her feet, and she landed with a thud on the ground. When she looked up it was you, standing with a protective arm extended in front of the version of her from this universe, the version of her that deserved to be happy.
Why does she get to be happy but I donât? Itâs not fair.
âStay back.â You said firmly. âI donât want to hurt you.â
âPlease, Y/N.â She pleaded, her knees buckling underneath her. âP-Please, I did all of this for us.â
âThere is no us here, witch.â You seethed. âYou hurt my wife, and frightened my kids. I want you to leave.â
She remembered once when she said those exact same words to someone else, someone that threatened her familyâs happiness. She had blasted them away from the bubble of reality she created, and now she was on the other side of it, threatening someone elseâs happiness. Everyone elseâs happiness, but never her own.
When will it ever be her turn? ďżźďżźďżźďżźďżźďżź
What is the purpose of this existence but a constant cycle of pain and suffering?
Her chest tightened and ached. She let the sobs take over, and crumpled upon herself on the floor. A hand touched her chin and lifted it. She saw her own sorrow reflected in the eyes of the other her, despite the cuts and bruises.
She was the monster parents warn their kids of at night, an unrelenting killer that wonât stop at anyoneâs cost.
The Darkhold had corrupted her mind, already fragile as it was. She let herself be selfish for once, but it came to nothing. It wasnât her life, it would never be hers to live. A million universes and none in which she could be happy, not unless she was Wanda Maximoff.
The Tower shook like a thousand earthquakes, and rocks began to break off the mountain and rain down on her. America Chavez had disappeared behind her portal, just as a boulder hurried down to block the entrance.
Wanda looked up and saw another boulder rushing down towards her.
âNo.â
She closed her eyes.
âThis is not how your story ends, Wanda Maximoff.â
The booming, low voice was all she could remember, then the faint image of a bald man with glowing white eyes.
Bright light blinded her when she opened her eyes again. It was quiet. She was in a room many floors above a big city, New York City.
She looked down. Her fingertips were healthy and light-colored, no more the black monstrosity she had had to live with. Her nails were even painted a pure white.
âOh, there you are.â
She looked over her shoulder, and there you are, with a bright smile.
You approached her heartily and pecked her on the lips. âYou ready, babe?â
âF-For what?â
âFor the premiere.â You let out a short laugh. âHello? Earth to Lizzie?â
Lizzie?
There was concern in your eyes, but she couldnât help but let her eyes wander down towards the stunning attire you wore. Black really was your color. And on your left hand, the one holding hers tenderly, a beautiful diamond ring on your ring finger.
âY-Yeah, of course.â She forced a smile, as you led her out of the hotel room.
âIn this universe, Wanda Maximoff,â the voice returned, âyou are not Wanda Maximoff.â
She furrowed her eyebrows as you led her into the back of a fancy car.
âWanda Maximoff is merely fictitious, hence, as is your pain.â
And then she saw it. As the car stopped in front of a sea of people, seemingly waiting for her, in a big backdrop with bold graphics was a picture of her face, and Strangeâs, and Wongâs and Americaâs. The title read âDoctor Strange In The Multiverse of Madnessâ.
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