2013katie-blog

[2013katie-blog]

I know we've all kind of abandoned these 2013 blogs but I have something that I need to say I've made a mistake. And not just a small one, a big fucking mistake I assumed that one of my friends was doing things behind my back (one of my best and oldest friends) and I took things that my friends were doing to heart when they were doing them as a joke and I made posts and tweets about said things. They were indirect however my friend knew they were about her and got hurt by it. I assumed the wrong thing. I took something way too personally. And I hurt one of my best friends in the process. One thing that people always say to me on the Internet is that I'm such a good person and that I'm such a good friend but right here is proof that I am not. I hurt someone that I hold near and dear to my heart. I might've completely fucked up our entire friendship by making assumptions. I am not a good friend. I hurt people. I post and think irrationally. I take things to heart way too easily. I think selfishly. Essentially, this post is to say that I am sorry. I'm sorry to my friend, who I hope will one day forgive me, for hurting her. I'm sorry that you all have warped conception of me. I'm sorry. Do not under any circumstance come to me and tell me that I'm a good person/friend still. This is not the first time I've hurt someone and chances are this wont be the last. This post is me being honest with you and my friend. I'm so sorry.

[2013katie-blog]

today's post is another picture to make you smile isn't it cute? I didn't have the best of days and sometimes looking at sweet things like this makes me feel slightly better Here's hoping that this brightens your days a bit!

#buttz 2013 #misc

[2013katie-blog]

i love you guys that's what this post is about; reminding you all that no matter what I love you and believe in you. I know you will all do amazing things I know that you're all so beautiful I know that you are all good I know that you all deserve the best And I know that I love you To Pluto and back

#buttz 2013 #misc

[2013katie-blog]

something kind of weird and a lil scary has been happening to me lately

i will always first and foremost be a starkid fan but my love for broadway shows (newsies in particular) is starting to take over my life and i don't know what to do about it

like honestly starkid and harry potter will always be my #1s but idk...

i'm just super nervous about this because i don't want to lose my beautiful friends that i've made from being a starkid just because i'm beginning to blog/tweet about newsies/broadway a lot more than before... it scares me

i've seen how adding fandoms has torn friends apart before and i just don't want to lose you guys, ja feel?

man i'm just scared and nervous and i know this sounds ridiculous but i can't stand thinking about losing you guys in my life, okay?

#buttz 2013 #thoughts #life

[2013katie-blog]

for the first time in a long time... i had a really good day today

i didn't do anything special and i'm still sick and i still have a solid 8 pages of my report to write but... i don't have an overwhelming sense of sadness for once. and that's a big deal.

today i sat in front of my computer trying, and failing, to write my summative paper for World Issues (by the way, i'm about a week away from being done this semester and then i get to start brand new also my next semester kicks ass), i got tweeted by the official newsies twitter FOUR TIMES, by having that happened I got new friends (the twerksies ayyy), darren performed at the inaugural ball thingy, the leafs won the hockey game, joey is tweeting weird song lyrics again, my dad got me ice cream, i'm tinychatting with buddiez tonight... good day.

this is so weird for me... to not have to struggle to push bad feelings aside and to just be happy without reserve. weird... but at the same time i hope i can have more days like this

here's to looking forward

#buttz 2013 #life

[2013katie-blog]

this post is to simply remind you of a few things

you are loved

you are wanted

you are believed in

you are beautiful

you are supported

you are looked up to

you will be successful

you are strong

you are amazing

you are the best you in the entire world

#daily queue #buttz 2013 #misc

[2013katie-blog]

today, i just want to share a song with you (though you've probably heard it)

i went through a huge tswift phase and this song used to make me feel a little stronger when i felt my weakest

i listened to it a couple minutes ago, and it still helped a little

so, i'm leaving it here for you in hopes that it might help you a little as well

[[~~x~~]]

#buttz 2013 #misc #daily queue

[2013katie-blog]

first of all, i've queue'd up a couple of posts because life is getting busy and i need to focus on school to keep my acceptance to carleton

second, i have this problem called "i don't know how to trust"

i've been stabbed in the back so many times and bullied and hated and that has made me such a scared and secretive person. 

really this post is to ask for advice

how do i allow myself to open up?

i know keeping things to myself isn't healthy, hell that's what i tell everyone but i don't know how to practice what i preach

what's your best advice for someone who needs to learn how to speak to others (if you don't mind me using this post to ask this)?

#daily queue #buttz 2013 #misc #life

[2013katie-blog]

lately ive found myself just staring at this photo as if staring would somehow transport me into the middle of central park where i could feel happy for the rest of my days Dreams are such an incredible thing, aren't they? They give you hope, something to look forward to, motivation. Dreams are what keeps the light on. Dreams are what keep the world spinning. I personally hope that I never stop dreaming because really, dreaming is what keeps me going and it's one of the things that I love most out in life.

#buttz 2013 #misc

[2013katie-blog]

today, my goal with this post is to put a smile on your face. This is one of my favourite pictures ever. It’s of a walrus hiding its face after getting a cake made out of fish. I hope this made you smile because smiling is the lantern in this dark world. I love you guys, hope you all are doing well!

#buttz 2013 #misc

[2013katie-blog]

do you have that one thing that cheers you up? something that no matter what, it makes you forget about your worries for a while? an old friend of a book or a hobby of some kind? something you hold close to your heart, something that is always there for you? for me, the movie Singin' In The Rain has always made me feel better. it transports me to where everything is good and where everything is followed by a super cool dance number and a catchy song. I love it so much Today, my post is me asking you to do me a favour. That favour is for you to take the time out of your weekend to enjoy the thing that brings you joy and comfort. Take time to yourself to just breathe. Forget about the world for a while and let your life be accompanied by a catchy song and cool dance. Smile and enjoy. Trust me, it makes all the difference if you'd just take one moment.

#buttz 2013 #misc #life

[2013katie-blog]

today was an amazing end to an awful week I didn’t do much in class (there was nothing to do, I wasn’t just dicking around), I had a fun lunch with a buddy, I got accepted to the university I want to go to, I had a wonderful night with two of my best friends… today was a nice refreshing change It really got me thinking that perhaps I should be more optimistic and practice what I preach. Tomorrow will most likely be brighter than today and there is always something bright to look forward to. I just need to stop being such a pessimist and focus on having days like today as often as humanly possible. This post is short today because I’m not all here (Im still really sick) but today I thought a lot about how I should be more optimistic and I’m just not sure how I can do so. If you have any tips, please let me know!!

#buttz 2013 #life

[2013katie-blog]

Recently I’ve realized how much I relate to the song “Santa Fe” from Newsies. I mean, I don’t necessarily want to live in Santa Fe (NYC is the place for me… I think… I just want to at least go there, okay?).

I’ve yearned to get out of where I grew up for my whole life. I feel trapped here, claustrophobic.  I feel like there are so many opportunities out in the world for me and so few here. I feel like I can breathe so much easier when I’m away from Canada. I feel like I don’t belong.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m super grateful to have grown up in the same house, in the same safe place but, now that I’m older I’m realizing how toxic this consistency is. I’ve never moved and I’ve only briefly gone away on the rare occasion that I do. This has made me grow resentful of a place that in reality is not that bad.

The line: “Just be real is all I’m askin’, not just a painting in my head” is the one that really rings true to me. I’ve dreamed my whole life of New York City, of some place far away. I can’t bear to think that getting away would be anything less than spectacular.

I’m just ready to get out in the world and see what it has to offer me. I’m ready to go to my Santa Fe.

#buttz 2013 #thoughts

[2013katie-blog]

today i'm posting from school (from my world history classroom, to be specific) and there's a quote on the wall, painted in our school colours that reads: "A lady lives here, her name is Victory."

i personally think this is such a cool quote to have on the wall of a classroom. 

the first time i saw it, i was in grade 9 and it confused me. i thought it was silly. i mean... it's probably referring to the ship of the guy my school was named after. that's weird. why would you put that on a wall? dumb...

now, four years later, sitting in this classroom, this quote means so much more to me. it's tell us that a champion resides in us all, that we can all be successful

i dunno, this may sound sillier than the quote originally sounds but, whenever i look up at that during a test or whatever i'm doing, i get inspired. i worked harder, as silly as that sounds. it makes me believe in myself a little bit more.

i think it's so great that this quote is up in a classroom, and i really do believe that if there was an inspiring quote in every classroom, people may be inspired to do the very best that they can do.

#buttz 2013 #misc #i can't take a picture because it's dark in the classroom idk sorry

[2013katie-blog]

today's post is not inspiring, thoughtful, meaningful or anything that i usually ~try~ to write/think

today's post is me being a little sicky poopface

i hate being sick so much

i live a BUSY life usually. between school, volunteering, family, friends, my dog (okay, he's family but shhhh), figuring out what i'm doing with my life, working, breathing, travelling back and forth from the city (if you can call it that) to the cottage getting ready for the move, extra curriculars (well, when we had them), and some more things that go on and off, i don't have the time to be sick

but man i realized today that i need to take the time to be sick

i've been throwing up, i'm dizzy, i can't breathe out of my nose, i have a fever, i feel nauseous (though that comes with the territory of throwing up) and i'm sneezing periodically.

i wish i could stop caring about my perfect attendance that i've had throughout high school and that i could just take a day to catch up on sleep and focus on getting better but i CAN'T. i can't bring myself to sit on my butt all day. but i'm getting to the point where i might have to. my immune system is so weak and i've been on the brink of getting sick for so long, it's going to take forever to get better if i keep going the way i'm going.

i had more things to say but i can't remember them. also i feel like i'm going to throw up again and my eyes are droopy

so, that's all for today. i'm sorry that this is my post today. i'll be going back to posting my thoughts/life/whatever when i can actually think straight. heh.

okay. i love you all. goodnight.

~katie~

#buttz 2013 #life

[2013katie-blog]

today i was thinking about routines and how much they stink to me

today i, like a lot of people, returned to school after winter break and it was super strange!! i was used to working, relaxing, sleeping in (or not at all), not having to put on pants... and then today comes around and makes me wake up once again at an assigned time, get dressed and go to the same building day after day, with the same classes and the same faces. man...

i know routines are sort of necessary (also does anyone else constantly screw up spelling that word like whoa) but redundancy isn't the most fun thing, in case you haven't noticed. i think that's why people hate school so much... it's not so much the learning aspect (learning is great okay), it's the repetitive nature of schooling. you come in, you sit down, you take notes, you leave. rinse and repeat.

i know there's nothing we can do about and i've noticed that my posts have been pretty similar in the fact that they really lead nowhere but maybe more passion would be ignited into the lives of students if we slipped out of our daily traditions and tried something new...

#buttz 2013 #thoughts #i don't even know ok

[2013katie-blog]

i've been getting super nostalgic about my trip to italy lately

in march 2010 i was lucky enough to get to travel to italy for ten days with my music department. we went to and performed in montecatini terme, lucca, pisa, bologna, venice, florence, rome and pompeii. 

anyone who knows me in real life, and i'm pretty sure a vast majority of you guys on here know this too, knows that i am a HUUUUUUGE history buff, especially when it comes to ancient history (it's what i plan on majoring in next year heheyeyeyey) so travelling to italy was an absolute dream come true.

basically this post was to show you guys a little glimpse into my life and a little look at one of my favourite memories. so, above are some pictures that i took/of me in italy and yeah! if you have any travel stories, let me know!! i love travelling so much!!!! yayyyy! 

#buttz 2013 #life #misc