2nd-triumvirate

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Pallas: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!

Aeneas: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

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agrippina: i have flaws. what are they? oh, i don’t know.

agrippina: i sing in the shower. sometimes, i spend too much time volunteering.

agrippina: occasionally, i’ll commit first-degree murder.

#roman history #roman memes #roman empire #agrippina #agrippina the younger #incorrectromanquotes #source: the office

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*mark antony and octavian, fighting in the background*

lepidus: can i get a waffle? can i please get a waffle?

#roman history #roman memes #roman republic #rome #incorrectromanquotes #mark antony #marcus antonius #octavian #gaius octavius #imperator augustus #emperor augustus #augustus caesar #source: vine #lepidus #2nd triumvirate

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The Romans and Friends Driving

Caesar: Drives with his knees. Has a bowl of cereal balanced precariously in his lap, spoon in his mouth. Is adjusting his tie in the mirror and talking to someone on speaker. Says, "Hey sorry, one sec" so he can lean out the window and curse out the guy who cut him off

Brutus: Agonizingly cautious. Lets EVERYONE go ahead of him. Apologizes to people who cut him off. Does not understand that sometimes the right of way can be his. Still wants to drive bc he gets carsick otherwise

Pompey: Plays very loud rock music the entire time. Honks at the person in front of him the millisecond the light turns green. Names his car and talks to it like it's a human woman. Argues with the GPS

Antony: Never cleans his car, which smells faintly like weed. Is known for his traffic violations. Bullies those who drive the speed limit. "Yellow light means speed the fuck up".

Cleopatra: Believes the road belongs to her. Has a lead foot but knows when not to use it. Keeps her car in pristine condition and the air is always just slightly too cold. Doesn't curse people out or flip them off, just gives them long, hard looks of judgment as she drives by

Cassius: isn't afraid at all but doesn't go anywhere fast enough simply because he has no sense of urgency. Drives slowly in front of others bc he doesn't see the need to be rushed by other people's busy schedules. Has a tendency to ride the rumble strip and will not even notice

Octavian: The best driver. Every move he makes is calculated. Weaves through traffic jams like a ghost phasing through walls. Blows vape smoke out the window.

Cicero: Backseat driver. That is all.

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extremely upsetting that the ancient romans didn't have zoom because i would pay serious denarii to see mark antony mute cicero's microphone while he's giving a speech

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Every Roman philosopher ever: oh sorry for that 13 page tangent where i listed obscure examples from roman history, i guess i'm just too educated and i got carried away... where was i? Oh right; VIRTUE!

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Norse mythology: right so the universe is all centred around this giant fucking interdimensional space tree, and Earth is at one of its roots, and it grows up through all these other realms with like giants and shit in them, and the gods live in the two at the top

Greek mythology: fuck uhh the gods live on that hill right over there lol

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say what you will about julius caesar but the man had some serious balls….like when he sailed to africa to fight a war, he tripped and fell on his face on his way off the ship (which would normally be considered a bad omen) but instead he was like “haha i got you now, africa” and everyone was like wow so cool

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Happy ides of march here’s a meme I had to make for english class

#julius caesar #caesar

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Cicero: And, in his younger days, Mark Antony was a prostitute!

Senators, bored: Or he’s just a slut.

Cicero: No, seriously, he wasn’t even cheap!

Senators:

Cicero:

Cicero: what

#cicero #mark antony

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diogenes walking into plato’s academy like

#plato #diogenes

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#caesar

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why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

#greek mythology #odysseus

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i kinda feel bad for oedipus b/c everyone assumes he chose to fuck his mom when in fact he went out of his way to avoid it. he left his hometown and distanced himself from his parents because he was afraid he would somehow get tricked into fucking his mom. everything could have been avoided if his adopted parents told him he was adopted.

#oedipus #greek mythology

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A siren who only sings The Song That Gets On Everybody’s Nerves

#greek mythology