adulthood-is-stupid

[adulthood-is-stupid]

One thing nobody mentions about being depressed is how gloriously terrible it can feel to come out of it

Like yeah, I’m feeling things, but the feelings are IŅŤĖŅȘĖ and ÅŴFŲŁ and ȘǍÐ

#adulthood is stupid #depressive #depression #depressive episode #just straight up crying all the time #why did I expect to feel joy

[adulthood-is-stupid]

Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence

Northern Cardinal, 4/10

I'm sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I'm pretty sure they're just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn't agree to participate in your kink, guys.

American Robin, 1/10

Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.

House Sparrow, 10/10

You're a gang. You're participating in gang violence. There's ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it's been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?

Tufted Titmouse, 1/10

A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor's garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.

European Starling, 9/10

Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it's always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you're an innocent bystander defending yourself. I'm onto you.

Carolina Wren, 3/10

This rating is not for physical violence, which you don't engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they're fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don't have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.

Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10

If this were "birds who think they're better than everyone else," you'd get 10/10.

Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10

It's a utility pole. It's not a tree. You're surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.

American Crow, unrated

For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you're right. None of my business.

Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10

Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.

Stay tuned for more criminal activity!

[adulthood-is-stupid]

Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just: Here's a funny little joke Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept Here's a unique and well written simile Here's a lil guy Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!

[adulthood-is-stupid]

Please please please I know we all love Friends and Chandler was our favourite character and Matthew always put a smile on our faces and that’s all amazing but can we please please please talk about this:

“I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life. I'm still working through it personally, but the best thing about me is that if an alcoholic or drug addict comes up to me and says, 'Will you help me?' I will always say, 'Yes, I know how to do that. I will do that for you, even if I can't always do it for myself! So I do that, whenever I can. In groups, or one on one.

And I created the Perry House in Malibu, a sober-living facility for men. I also wrote my play The End of Longing, which is a personal message to the world, an exaggerated form of me as a drunk. I had something important to say to people like me, and to people who love people like me.

When I die, I know people will talk about Friends, Friends, Friends. And I'm glad of that, happy l've done some solid work as an actor, as well as given people multiple chances to make fun of my struggles on the world wide web...

but when I die, as far as my so-called accomplishments go, it would be nice if Friends were listed far behind the things I did to try to help other people.

I know it won't happen, but it would be nice.”

- Matthew Langford Perry

(August 19, 1969 - October 28, 2023)

[adulthood-is-stupid]

[adulthood-is-stupid]

you WILL look at the cookies wife and I have made

[adulthood-is-stupid]

i want to be a sweet and friendly girl but there’s all this anxiety. and the horrors

[adulthood-is-stupid]

[adulthood-is-stupid]

I-I'm sorry but I can't stop thinking about this

[adulthood-is-stupid]

But seriously, when we got our property, it was all just…grass. A sterile grass moonscape, like a billion other yards. With two big old maple trees. Just grass and maples, that was it. 

But then I got my grubby little paws on it, and I immediately stopped fertilizing, spraying, and bagging up grass clippings and leaves. I ripped up sod and put in flowers and vegetables. I put down nice thick blankets of mulch around the flowers and vegetables. 

When I first was sweating my way through stripping sod, I saw a grand total of 1 worm and 0 ladybugs. The ground was compacted into something that would bend shovel blades. 

Now, six years later, I can’t dig a planting hole without turning up fourteen earthworms, and there are so many ladybugs here. Not the invasive asian lady beetles; native ladybugs. They winter over in the mulch and in the brush pile. I see thousands of them. 

The soil is soft and rich. There are birds that come to eat, and bees of many sorts.

Like this is something that you, yourself, can absolutely change. This is something that you, personally, can make a difference in.

[adulthood-is-stupid]

me: so i've gotta do a thing about a book coming out and it's fine but also i asked the author for an advance reader copy of the book since im quoted in it my therapist: wait you're in a book? why? me: oh you know, the whole The Dress thing therapist: ...cates. im sorry, i have to derail this session. you were responsible for The Dress? like, that was you?? your post is the one that went viral??? me: yes? wait. WAIT. have i never mentioned this in the 2.5 years i've been seeing you?? therapist: CATES, NO YOU HAVE NOT. WHAT?? i've got a lot of questions and sorry but this is what we have to talk about right now because while i'm curious it'll also provide, like, SO MUCH context for how you feel about your career and identity of being a Person who Works on the Internet.

[adulthood-is-stupid]

“There is such terrible vacancy in my thoughts lately. It is not a lack of feeling. It is something darker, it is something else. There is pure vacancy in there, do you understand? It is pure. And I am scared.”

— Anne Sexton, from “A Self-Portrait In Letters.”

[adulthood-is-stupid]

fun fact!! it turns out that now when u make a new blog, tumblr forces you to follow 3-4 people before you can change your icon or modify your blog in any way!! this, of course, means that, yes, some of the "potential bots" many of us have been automatically blocking could have possibly been genuine new users who were only just seconds in to having an account!!! tumblr is literally screwing new users over!!!!

[adulthood-is-stupid]

you'll never be punk yr clothes are from shein and yr makeup is from tiktok

[adulthood-is-stupid]

love is buying someone a book and writing a note to them on the first page

[adulthood-is-stupid]

I feel lied to. This is where the bugs bunny NO meme cokes from

[adulthood-is-stupid]

I have to help this sweet girl across the rainbow bridge tomorrow and I am nowhere near ready

#my covid rescue #she kept me sane #senior rescue