adultwithautism
Adult with Autism
Advice and support for those diagnosed as an adult.
I am an Early Years Teacher and Special Educational Needs Coordinator, I am also Autistic.
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Day 28: Dealing with meltdowns
For me I tend to shutdown rather than meltdown. But I deal with shutdowns by looking after my sensory needs and focusing on something that I really enjoy followed by good food and sleep. This is a long process but allows me to reset and start again.
Look after yourself, you cant deal with shutdowns if you are worrying about everyone else. Step away and make sure you are ok.
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Day 27: Identity Language
I don't mind I am both an autistic adult and an adult with autism. I know some have strong feelings and I will of course listen to your preferences.
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Day 26: Favourite Autism Book
For me the best books are factual and about learning. I have recently discovered the book Lego based therapy by Daniel B. LeGoff.
Lego Based Therapy (nothing to do with the Lego company itself) was developed to support children with autism develop language and social skills. It can be used in a range of settings including at home and does not require specialist training (although a good understanding of autism is needed). The lack of specialist training or equipment needed makes this type of support available for use in mainstream settings.
I have really enjoyed this book and looking more closely at how to support children with autism develop their skills. I would be interested to see more studies on the effectiveness and outcomes from this intervention.
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Day 25: Symbols!
There are several logos associated with autism most commonly the rainbow infinity symbol is used.
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Day 24: Political Issues
There is so many to talk about but very few I have looked into fully.
ABA fascinates me, It is not something widely used within the UK but we are starting to see it more. I have seen arguments both for and against the use of ABA therapy.
As a practitioner working with parents of young children who may be just starting to find their way in the world of ASD I want to be able to give current and up to date information regarding all types of interventions and support for their children.
I am part way through studying a masters in supporting children with SEND and will be looking into it in more depth. If you have any experiences or studies looking at the use of ABA I would love to discuss them with you.
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Day 23: can't live without....
Learning more and educating others.
There is so much to learn about autism and how it presents differently. I want to learn both to improve my practice in early years education and in understanding myself.
I also I want to educate others as well. If you have a question please ask.
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Day 22: Dispel a myth
Women and girls don't have autism.
Yes they fucking do!
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Day 21: One thing other people don't understand.
Eye contact hurts and is deeply unsettling.
I will often say that I don't like eye contact or that I am simply not very good at it. This is so far from what really goes on but it is the easiest way to explain to people why I don’t make eye contact without confusing them or freaking them out.
The truth is much more complicated than that. It makes me so uncomfortable it hurts, makes me feel wrong to my core and it tightly linked with my emotions that if you upset me I wont even be able to look in your general direction.
For years I worked on my eye contact and improving it without knowing why, I learnt to look at noses, chins or mouths when people were talking to me (something which mask wearing has ruined for me as a coping strategy). I am learning to accept that I will never be good at it but please don't push me to make eye contact or to ‘learn’ it doesn't help.
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Day 20: Communication
It is important to recognise all forms of communication not just spoken language. If I am anxious or stressed you will be able to see it in my body language.
Acknowledging this form of communication is so important particularly if it is a persons only form of communication
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Day 19: I hate it when....
People don't listen.
Its that simple I know me and my needs better than you so listen when I tell you about them and what you can do to support.
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I am going to put down missing a day to not being well, you never know one day I may be able to post routinely.
Day 17: Accommodations
If there is a schedule then stick to it or give me as much warning as possible if things are going to change.
Dont force eye contact, touch me without asking or force social interactions.
Most importantly listen to me, I will tell you if there is something you need to do or something I am not comfortable with.
Day 18: Someday.......
not everyone will be compared to that 5 year old boy with autism that is the child of a friend of a friend. Autism is a spectrum, is different for everyone and everyone's needs are valid.
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Day 16: Work/School
I have been honest at work about being autistic, although this has been accepted I don't think it has always been understood. There are some things that I am really good at and some things I struggle with like any other member of staff. What I need is a little understanding of when there are things I struggle with like change of routine it is not just a dislike or being awkward it can have a huge impact on my wellbeing.
This difference between accepting that a person is different and understanding what their needs are and how you can support them is huge.
For employers - Neurodiversity should be celebrated and embraced. You may well gain from it with some small accommodations.
Only 22% of adults with autism are in paid employment (ONS data published Feb 2020). This makes me realise 2 things, 1 I am lucky to not only have a paid job but one that I love, 2 that is awful more needs to be done to improve that .
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Day 15: Everyone should know.
If you are filling out paperwork either for yourself or your child it is worth remembering not to gloss over and pretend things are ok. Think of the worst day possible, one where nothing goes right and you/they feel their worst. This is the day to talk about and use as an example so that any support given meets the need of the person when things are not going their way rather than assuming that everything is ok or manageable.
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Day 14: Routine
For me I like a little a little routine, I will have things that I am going to achieve in a day an idea of how I will get that done. If this is interrupted or I don't achieve as much as I want then I can find this hard.
Over the past year lockdowns, work closures and illness have had a huge impact on my routines. The thing I found most helpful are not to have a timed routine but rather a list of things to achieve each day. This would include things like ring parents, 1 household chore, reading, get dressed. I include get up on this list so that every day even if it is a bad day then I can tick something off my list. I also put together a weekly list of things to achieve over the week this would include things like: put the bins out, go food shopping or go for a walk. This method has got me through a lot yet allows me flexibility to do each thing for as long as I want.
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Day 13: Family
Some of my family understood my need to get a diagnosis as an adult, others not so much. I explained why it was so important to me and we had open discussions about it. After some time they have all come to understand why I needed answers. I had to give my parents time to get to grips with my diagnosis, when I thought about it I realised that it must have been an emotional time for them. Every so often I will get a comment about something like my lack of eye contact, I just remind them that there is a reason I cant do it.
Be patient, its a lot to get used to and some will need help to understand but that doesn't mean that they don't want to learn
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Day 12: Favourite Autsim Charity
The National Autistic Society
https://www.autism.org.uk/
I have particularly enjoyed their training, something that frustrates me greatly is the lack of information available in training courses regarding women and girls on the spectrum. The NAS have a course specific to women and girls, not only am I happy to see the representation but really enjoyed the course.
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Day 10 and 11: Sensory life and Stims
I still with my hands, wiggling and scrunching them up and pushing down on the joints in my fingers (which can make my fingers crack). Many of the stim toys I own aim to keep my hands busy. I like to squeeze foam and slime filled stress balls unfortunately I squeeze so hard I break them. I have yet to find one I can not break. I also own a keyring fidget that I completely adore I use it mainly in public as it is subtle and can be easily stashed in my pocket or fits on my thumb so it is close if I need it. In theory there is no issue with stimming in public but I still like how discrete this toy is. I don't own a weighted blanket as they can get expensive but my mum knitted me a blanket which I helped her sew together before I left for uni. The blanket is heavy enough to be comforting but also has fond memories attached to it which make me happy.
There are many sensory experiences I am not so keen on and some I love. Gigs are hard with the flashing lights, loud music, generally hot environment and loads of people. Do I want to give them up? NO! So what do I do?
Outdoor gigs and festivals - these tend to allow people to spread out a little more and the temperature doesn't get so hot.
I stand sideways or wear sunglasses - this allows me to filter some of the flashing lights and look away easily if it gets to much.
As for the loud music - I love it, even if its a band I am not so keen on there is something about live loud music I love.
You don't have to give things up if the sensory experience bothers you, there are ways to help yourself you just need to find them.
Sorry if that was a bit long but that's what I get for not posting yesterday, oops!
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