aptronyms

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they’re giving me my beloved main the tri-slosher in a salmon run rotation but because they hate me they put it on fuckass marooner’s bay. with megalodontia no less. nintendo might as well just tell me to kill myself at this point

#neon.txt

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muffy’s lunch consists of three sandwiches and a bread roll

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#kirby

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I'M FUCKING CRYING LMAOOO

#video

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salmon run music is deffo some of the best splatoon music hands down. like… The Firstborn Child of Alkyne, the Hidden Blade of Yakiharas drives me fucking nuts with that damn cello !!

#neon.txt #ω-3 you will always be famous

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#splatoon

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#video

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We have all really lost the plot on what callouts are for

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I had a dream that the king and the queen of a small country had a daughter. They needed a son, a first-born son, so in secret, without telling anyone of their child’s gender, they travelled to the nearby woods that were rumoured to house a witch.

They made a deal with that witch. They wanted a son, and they got one. A son, one made out of clay and wood, flexible enough to grow but sturdy enough to withstand its destined path, enchanted to look like a human child. The witch asked for only one thing, and that was for their daughter.

They left the girl readily.

The witch raised her as her own, and called her Thyme. The princess grew up unknowing of her heritage, grew up calling the witch Mama, and the witch did her very best to earn that title.

She was taught magic, and how to forage in the woods, how to build sturdy wooden structures and how to make the most delicious stews. The girl had a good life, and the witch was pleased.

The girl grew into a woman, and learned more and more powerful magics, grew stronger from hauling wood and stones and animals to cook, grew smarter as the witch taught her more.

She learned to deal with the people in the villages nearby, learned how to brew remedies and medicines and how to treat illness and injury, and learned how to tell when someone was lying. 

Every time the pair went into town, the people would remark at just how similar Thyme was to her mother. 

(Thyme does not know who and what she is. She does not know that she was born a princess, that she was sold. She only knows that one night after her mother read her a story about princesses and dragons, her mother had asked her if she ever wanted to be a princess.)

((Thyme only knows that she very quickly answered no. She likes being a witch, thank you very much, she likes the power that comes with it and the way that she can look at things and know their true nature.))

The witch starts preparing the ritual early, starts collecting the necessities in the winter so they can be ready by the fall equinox. Her daughter helps, and does not ask what this is for, just knows that it is important.

The witch looks at Thyme, both their hands raised into the air over a complicated array of plants, tended carefully to grow into a circle, and says, sorry.

Keep reading

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Falin’s moe sleeves!!!!

#dunmeshi

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best jelleton design 100%. yes they’re annoying as fuck, but consider: the bride and her ugly ass army of heat-seeking grooms

#neon.txt #splatoon #they’re literally female and male angler fish like that’s so awesome and fun

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salmon run teammates splat maws at shore at the very beginning of the wave, proceed to stay at the big shot cannon while all other teammates are dead

#neon.txt #I HATE SALMON RUN (<- it is his favorite gamemode) #THEY DIDN’T EVEN THROW A SPLAT BOMB OR USE A SPECIAL OR ANYTHINGGG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUUU #WHY ARE YOU STILL LAUNCHING EGGS AT US WE’RE FUCKING DEAD #I will not rage at a game. raging at a game is the mind killer #normally I try to criticize my own gameplay when I lose but this was just. this was something else

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god she is so hot i need her to explode

#real as fuck #splatoon

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this frame from the fallout tv show is so funny i nearly puked watching it

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the term "i love to boggy" will now be incapable of leaving my lexicon anytime soon

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Worm baby #1: *wakes up*

Worm baby #2: hey you're finally up... I have an idea

Worm baby #3: let's squirm on mama