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Into the kiln

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my pet mold spore

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Happy April Fools Day

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no more catboys. catmen . 28 yr old washed up depressed catman downing his 5th whiskey glass and his cat ears twitch depressedly

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My brain: You have so many tight deadlines. So many things on your weekly schedule. So many important jobs. You have to get important work done!!!

My hands:

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april fools day is actually the most sensible day of the year because it's the only day on which people will read something on the internet and stop for a second to consider whether or not it's actually true

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i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue

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why is half of youtube filled with 47 minute long videos that look like this

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A story in 4 photos

#cats

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love how Johnny Cash’s cover of Hurt fucked so hard that everyone was just like “ok that’s his song now”

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i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:

1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.

2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.

60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.

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Ceramics projects before the kiln

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Happy Caturday 🐈

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The Krusty Krab Conspiracy

Okay so you know how on The Krusty Krab there are flags on the front

Right, so I remembered the other day that there is a Maritime Flag Language for sailors, and each flag has a different meaning, but when put together, they spell out a word. I have decided to figure out what it says.

Mkay so here’s the thing this center flag 

does not exist so I can only assume that they are trying to mimic the first flag on the list? Also, the 4th one appears to be upside-down.

But what it says (if you assume it’s the first one) is Romeo-India-Alpha-Uniform-Kilo or RIAUK which, from detailed internet research, only seems to be a 43-year-old woman on a dating website I’ve never heard of. Since that is not a word, I am going to investigate into the ICS (International Code of Signal) flag meanings using Wikipedia. 

So according to Wiki, it says

(Kay so Romeo doesn’t have an ICS meaning so we are off to a great start)-                                                                                                                     “I am altering my course to port.”-                                                                    “I have a diver down; keep well clear at slow speed.” -                                 “You are running into danger.”-                                                                         “I wish to communicate with you.”

So what we can gather from this is that the creators/artist for the classic series Spongebob Squarepants have absolutely no idea what the Maritime Flag Language is. 

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I love the little scrunch cats do with their nose when they're sniffing something it's so cute

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I got to hold a 500,000 year old hand axe at the museum today.

It's right-handed

I am right-handed

There are grooves for the thumb and knuckle to grip that fit my hand perfectly

I have calluses there from holding my stylus and pencils and the gardening tools.

There are sharper and blunter parts of the edge, for different types of cutting, as well as a point for piercing.

I know exactly how to use this to butcher a carcass.

A homo erectus made it

Some ancestor of mine, three species ago, made a tool that fits my hand perfectly, and that I still know how to use.

Who were you

A man? A woman? Did you even use those words?

Did you craft alone or were you with friends? Did you sing while you worked?

Did you find this stone yourself, or did you trade for it? Was it a gift?

Did you make it for yourself, or someone else, or does the distinction of personal property not really apply here?

Who were you?

What would you think today, seeing your descendant hold your tool and sob because it fits her hands as well?

What about your other descendant, the docent and caretaker of your tool, holding her hands under it the way you hold your hands under your baby's head when a stranger holds them.

Is it bizarre to you, that your most utilitarian object is now revered as holy?

Or has it always been divine?

Or is the divine in how I am watching videos on how to knap stone made by your other descendants, learning by example the way you did?

Tomorrow morning I am going to the local riverbed in search of the appropriate stones, and I will follow your example.

The first blood spilled on it will almost certainly be my own, as I learn the textures and rhythm of how it's done.

Did you have cuss words back then? Gods to blaspheme when the rock slips and you almost take your thumbnail off instead? Or did you just scream?

I'm not religious.

But if spilling my own blood to connect with a stranger who shared it isn't partaking in the divine

I don't know what is.