badstargateimagines

[badstargateimagines]

Concept: There's a mysterious illness on Atlantis that all of its doctors are powerless to do anything about. Try as they might they can't figure out what it is or how to treat it. So they bring in someone who specializes in diagnosing the undiagnosable. Enter Doctor House. Medical malpractice georg meets war crimes georg

#posts i didn’t write but i fucking wish I did #op your mind is incredible #sga #house md #stargate #stargate atlantis

[badstargateimagines]

Imagine

SG-1 is scheduled to be off world during to solar eclipse and they’re all having meltdowns about it because they were planning a trip to wherever has the longest totality.

#stargate #sg1 #jack o'neill #stargate sg1 #bad stargate imagines #sam carter #teal’c #Daniel Jackson

[badstargateimagines]

I'm writing a fic series about Atlantis nepo babies too! :D (John had kids before getting involved with stargate and they're smart little shits so they get involved with the program as they grow up, much to his dismay)

Omg I love this!!! That’s actually so cool and I’d be interested in reading it for sure!! I like the idea of kids growing up on Atlantis and getting involved like that.

Mine follows Jack’s (grown) niece and nephew and the two security guards who were hired last minute to deal with theft and scientist brawls. Jack’s niece and nephew are there for tech support essentially and have an empire based on selling pirated digital media and trading with local populations for booze and trinkets. Aside from that, it follows all the lower ranks, non-main characters like Chuck (the Canadian guy in the gate room) where it’s like yeah great Sheppard is doing that stuff, but what is Botanist #3 up to? It’s because of that that I’ve named the fic Atlantis: Lower Decks.

#bad stargate asks

[badstargateimagines]

In true bad Stargate imagines fashion I’ve fallen off the face of the planet but I’m on Adderall now so I’ve inadvertently written an episodic long fic about Atlantis that’s so convoluted, goofy and OC heavy that I made a reference blog in case I ever post it.

It answers questions that I had about the series like:

What would Atlantis look like when they’re more out of survival mode?

Would they have podcasts?

What would unhinged nepo babies be like in Atlantis

How would earth media get to Atlantis?

What would they use as currency?

What does their garbage disposal look like?

If I ever post this garbage, read at your own risk

#not a bad imagine #Bad Imagines starting a crazy big project that they’re not sure they have the follow thru to finish? #it’s more likely than you think #not me soft launching a crack fix-it fic lol

[badstargateimagines]

I’ve recently developed an interest in making K-pop style top loaders. Don’t ask why, it’s not important. The important thing is I have every intention of making top loaders for Stargate characters. If you don’t know what they are here is a reference for what I’m talking about

Anyway here’s what I’m think for when I get my photo cards printed. This is basically for my reference but whatever I’ll hit post who even cares anymore.

Jack: green themed, lots of space stickers. I think I have a telescope sticker that I can put in the corner.

Sam: HEAVY SPACE IMAGERY!!!! Constellation washi tape as a boarder, blue theming. Maybe some computer stuff too?? Idk I have so many visions for Sam that I may have to make a few

Daniel: gold and blue theming, lots of hearts. I don’t think I will be able to find any ancient Egypt stickers but I will put my ass into finding them if they exist. I had a set as a kid idk where they went tho.

Teal’c: gold and silver theming, may even do his forehead symbol with some glue and glitter?? Lots and lots of hearts.

General Hammond: baby blue and dark blue theming, gold stars along the border. Idk I don’t have a super strong vision for his yet but I will know when I go to make it. Top loaders are made with the heart more than the brain.

Jonas: SO MANY CUTE LITTLW ANIMALS ALL AROUND HIM AND HEARTS!!!!!! His will be maximalist and inspired by childlike joy and wonder. No colour palette yet all I have are vibes and excitement. Oh yes and dinosaur imagery for sure. I may have to make a few for him because I love him too much to only make one.

Vala: Black and pink, chain imagery and lots of Sanrio stickers. I also like the idea of incorporating a mcbling style with some chunky rhinestones

Cam: no solid ideas yet please let me know.

John: pink and orange theming and I will not be taking ANY criticism on this decision. I’m thinking making a heart shape, half orange, half pink as a frame and then using minimal stickers but they will be football themed.

Rodney: CANADA MENTION AHHHHHH anyway yeah I’m gonna make it Canada themed because I think he would hate it. Strong beaver and maple syrup imagery. I will be using a picture of him looking exasperated with his arms crossed.

Ford: HEARTS AND HEARTS AND HEARTS!!!!! I love him so much and his top loader WILL be showing that. I wanna make it mint and lavender with a bunch of hearts and flowers because I love him and I would die for him.

Anyway feel free to rb with pictures of these characters you think would make good photo cards for top loaders ( ^ω^ )✨💖

#hope you’re hungry……….. #for nothing #worse post than usual everyone sorry

[badstargateimagines]

Bringing this back because I’m here to wish you merry Chrysler and a Happy Toyotathon if you celebrate. If not have a blessed Normal Monday

Imagine

Janet asking Jack to dress as the grinch and steal their Christmas tree because Cassandra has simply been Too Much™️ this year. Jack does it for a hundred bucks.

#op’s mind….. so powerful #self rb #sg1 #stargate #jack o'neill #cassandra fraiser

[badstargateimagines]

Ok so the ability to process lactose is a genetic mutation that is/was mostly found in (and in those descended from) ancient societies that reared cattle or goats n shit.

My theory is most or all or most of the alien characters would likely be lactose intolerant which makes the scene where Teal’c and Jonas ate ice cream a lot funnier. They fighting for their lives twice that day.

LMAO CANON also I made the perfect meme for this like four years ago and it’s FINALLY relevant so thank you for this unique opportunity that 21 year old me was looking for

I present to you now: Jonas and Teal’c in the Cheyenne Mountain washroom after the Ice Cream Scene

#bad stargate asks #stargate #stargate sg1 #sg1 #teal’c #Jonas Quinn #this was made bc the bathrooms at my old house were located very close to heavily populated areas #bc it was an old RCMP shack #2 of them were off the living room (ye olde bullpen) #and the other one was just off our (carpeted) kitchen (ye olde break room) #and my ex was lactose intolerant so it was always so anxiety inducing #we had like 6 roommates and constantly had a party going so it was hard to get any privacy for more painful washroom experiences

[badstargateimagines]

Roughly how I imagine this going

[image ID: General Hammond is at the briefing room table with SG-1.

Jack O’Neill: clap if you think we were right to blow up the wall of hieroglyphs!

General Hammond, Sam Carter and Teal’c: colonel this is a mission debrief wtf

Daniel Jackson: Jack they had so much historical value

Jack O’Neill: alright fine, clap if you’re a hater then

End image ID]

General Hammond: oh boy I sure hope Sg-1’s routine mission to that planet went smoothly

Jack O’Neill upon stepping through the gate back to earth:

#stargate sg1 #sg1 #badstagatereplies #peer review complete #great tags #AU where Jack is a massive Wendy Williams stan

[badstargateimagines]

Imagine

Sg-1 stumbling in on a society that’s just Ohio and they use their Stargate as one of those weird roadside attractions and their branding just looks like this

Where the graphic design isn’t great and they have a billboard up practically at every mile marker. Sg-1 pulls up to the gate and it’s just

#stargate #stargate sg1 #bad stargate imagines #sg1 #daniel jackson #jack o’neill #teal'c #sam carter #rip Ohio I’ve literally never been #listen okay I’ve been fucking around and finding out with photoshop lately #and I’m paid 19$ an hour to sit at a desk #obviously this was inevitable

[badstargateimagines]

Imagine

Jack heading to Teal’c quarters to enlist him for some off-base activities. He knocks a few times and doesn’t get a response. He’s puzzled and enters because it’s not like Teal’c not to respond. Upon entry he sees Teal’c and Daniel playing with Calico Critters. Upon further inspection, the are making a TikTok with them.

Teal’c and Daniel explain themselves and show Jack their TikTok account. The two have amassed over half a million followers from poorly recreating action movie scenes with Calico Critters that Cassandra lovingly donated to the cause in exchange for creative input.

#stargate #sg1 #stargate sg1 #bad stargate imagines #daniel jackson #jack o’neill #teal'c #cassandra fraiser

[badstargateimagines]

General Hammond: oh boy I sure hope Sg-1’s routine mission to that planet went smoothly

Jack O’Neill upon stepping through the gate back to earth:

#stargate #stargate sg1 #sg1 #not a bad imagine #jack o’neill #general hammond #we need to give Wendy a podcast #wendy williams #I literally love her so much

[badstargateimagines]

I have a headcanon that Daniel doesn’t know how to drive (He’s one of the only Tauri characters never shown operating a vehicle). According to Teal’c, he taught him how to drive in the 1969 episode but I’m sticking to my delusions and saying Daniel pulled all of it out of his ass.

I agree that twunk is a passenger princess. I respect your delusions and I like to imagine that Jack found out he couldn't drive after he taught Teal'c how to drive. Jack's like hello??? How did you teach someone how to drive while also Not Knowing How To Drive and Daniel is just like idk I understand the theory behind it. Jack is baffled and insists on teaching Daniel to drive. For the next 7 years Daniel expertly dodges Jack's attempts to get him to learn to drive out of pure spite.

#daniel jackson #bad stargate asks #stargate #sg1 #stargate sg1 #jack o’neill #Daniel is a passenger princess

[badstargateimagines]

Vala Deserved Better and This is My Proposal For How I Would Give Her Better

Here are all the things that I think Vala and I would do if they ever let her breach fucking containment. Jesus H. Christ let the woman LIVE!!! Shout out to @judgeverse and all the other fine folks in the discord for giving me this powerful vision

Go to the club 

Obvious but apparently too much for the writers to handle 

We would go with like 40 dollars between us and we would find a man to buy us drinks for the night and then give him a fake snap/number at the end of the night 

She would finally experience the experience of the bathroom at a club and I think she would find it extremely healing 

We would close that bitch and then go and get kebab before we called an uber to get us home 

Pre Drinks 

This would happen before the club obv but I think pre is a VITAL component to the experience while also being nearly entirely separate 

All the SGC girlies chilling doing their makeup 

We are all chilling on the floor of a living room using what using whatever mirrors we have close to us sharing big pile of makeup  

Our brushes are filthy and Janet is low-key lecturing us about the dangers of sharing eye shadow and having dirty makeup brushes 

Her's are also dirty 

We have a Spotify jam going that absolutely shreds 

We started out w a playlist but then we all wanted to show Vala some tracks so we needed to collaborate. 

I show her Meghan Thee Stallion so when she comes on at the club she knows what to do 

Janet shows her all the Y2K bangers 

Sam just goes fucking crazy on the queue and puts everything from midwest emo to sea shanties on there 

Shots obvs 

Cam and Daniel keep texting the gc to ask when we're leaving for the club and we keep saying we're leaving soon 

We brief Vala on club/bar safety so she doesn't go missing or perish or something 

Watching movies but specifically the Barbie movie 

I think she would find it very healing 

She starts calling men Kens 

A week later I find her watching TikTok edits under the 'close your eyes and feel' sound and we watch them together and cry 

I gather mine and my mom's old Barbies and we play with them because there is no age-limit on Barbie!!! 

I get distracted and go over the bonkers plotlines I used to give my Barbies back in the day. 

I also show her other movies that altered my brain chemistry 

The Breakfast Club 

Mean Girls 

Legally Blonde 

Pretty in Pink 

Ferris Bueller's Day Off 

Freaky Friday (2003) 

Hairspray (2007) 

Going for drives in a total shitbox while blasting music 

She needs to experience driving around aimlessly for an hour and then ending up having a life-changing conversation in a random parking lot 

Girlhood (TM) 

Going to the mall  

Sometimes you need to show aliens capitalism in action 

I have to physically drag her out of bath and body works before she gets swindled into paying full price for a candle like a rube 

I explain to her that she just has to wait a couple weeks for candles to go on a like 6 for the price of 2 sale or something and that I will tell her when it's happening 

She is baffled by this revelation but listens to me because of my credentials (used to work at a mall and have a spending addiction) 

We also buy a new outfit and then go to Sephora to get our makeup done to go w the new fit and also so I can show her my roots 

She will also experience The Mall Pretzel  

Sleepovers!!!!! 

I would do my best to create the ultimate sleepover vibes 

I'm talking we buy brand new fuzzy PJs, I string up christmas lights, every snack we could ever want, the entire living room is transformed into a comfy cozy area with everything we could ever need close to us 

Trashy reality show playing on autoplay on the TV at a low volume so we can still talk and listen to music but also hear Kris Jenner saying out of pocket shit to her children 

I would also give the experience of playing Nintendogs with your bestie 

Maybe even a powerpoint night??  

Putting tinder on the big screen and roasting men together 

Playing the Sims and collaborating on the most ridiculous sims and houses to ever exist 

Go Karting 

Let this woman at the wheel immediately!!! 

We could kick ass and then get a lifetime ban from the track 

These 10-year-olds aren't ready for us!!! 

Lighting section at Home Depot 

Self-explanatory 

IKEA 

We would spend so many hours there just pretending we were furnishing a mansion with unlimited money 

Saying: "Omg this should be in the Sims" to each other 

The IKEA cafeteria my beloved 

The only thing we buy is a Djungelskog each 

Racing the carts in the warehouse part 

A crucial yet forbidden part of the experience 

Karaoke 

She would love karaoke 

No further points your honour 

#stargate #sg1 #stargate sg1 #vala mal doran #bad stargate imagines #sam carter #janet fraiser #daniel jackson #cameron mitchell

[badstargateimagines]

Imagine

Teal’c forcing you to watch Skibidi Toilet memes at gunpoint. Every time you say “I don’t get it” he restarts the video.

#stargate #stargate sg1 #sg1 #bad stargate imagines #teal’c

[badstargateimagines]

I’m working on a big boy project for this blog which will be posted in the coming days but in the meantime, I’ve got a teaser for you all.

Imagine

Jack smells fall in the air an immediately hits the road for a camping adventure. You tag along because it sounds more exciting than what you had planned. You go on a road trip to Rocky Mountain National Park and Jack plays the perfect fall playlist.

When you get to the park, you go on a hike and then settle into your campground for the night. Jack teaches you the best way to roast a marshmallow and tells you all sorts of wild stories that may or may not be true. When darkness falls, you look up into the sky and see more than you ever could back home. Jack points out some constellations and planets, continuing to tell you the legends surrounding certain ones.

You finally each crawl off to bed after the fire has died. You enjoy a peaceful sleep. Life is good.

Want to enjoy Jack’s immaculate fall vibes?

Good thing I actually made the playlist! Jack’s Big Shiny Roadtrip Tunes 7 is real and I made it!

#Jack O’Neill #stargate #stargate sg1 #sg1 #bad stargate imagines #actually this is more of a neutral imagine #idk it’s an ad lmao #fuck it post lmao

[badstargateimagines]

Got put on Adderall bitches it’s over for you hoes

#not a bad imagine #lol OP’s follow through May imporove #no promises #anyway managing my mental health is a good thing

[badstargateimagines]

Stargate Characters

As My Favourite Images

Jack:

Sam:

Teal’c:

Daniel:

Apophis:

General Hammond:

Janet:

Walter:

Jonas:

Vala:

#stargate #stargate sg1 #sg1 #bad stargate imagines #daniel jackson #jack o’neill #teal'c #sam carter #jonas quinn #general hammond #vala mal doran #i will not elaborate