becca-sketch

[becca-sketch]

I realized that I've been depressed these past couple of weeks. I still don't know how to process that because I thought I knew my mind enough know when I was depressed. For fucks sake I've been diagnosed since 2019! And now I'm back in here because I can't sleep and this feels like an ounce of control I have on my life because everything else I do just isn't right in the eyes of my mother

#tw ana thoughts

[becca-sketch]

God I needed this thank you

Maybe you think that you're hungry, but you're just an emotional eater. You've always been. But food is not comfort, babygirl.

Half of the day has passed. You can still take a shower, tidy your room, do your laundry, drink a coffee and take a nap, before eating.

Make yourself a cup of tea, a cup of coffe and a sugar free drink of your choice and take your time.

Rest.

Can you imagine how freaking happy and proud of yourself you'll be tomorrow if you just keep busy and don't eat? The stomach growls so loud and that little tingly pain of emptiness. The fact that you're empty, you're not contained by any external shit. You know exactly what's in your body.

[becca-sketch]

Ok so I know out of context this will sound bad but I wish I was anorexic.

I have an eating disorder but it's not that. It's binge eating and the occasional purging if I'm alone. I want the purging and starving to take over me so bad because I'm close to 300 lbs, fuck I might be over that now because I just can't stop eating. I want to lose weight but the only times I lost weight was in school when I wouldn't eat them covid hit and now I'm my highest weight yet. I use to be 240 and now I just want to get past 290 at least. I hate myself almost every day and on the few days I do love my obese body it won't last all day long. Y'all are asking for ana coaches to text and keep you in track well I need one to physically smack food out of my hand and to smack me because I have no self control I fucking hate this!!!!!

#anamia #tw ana thoughts #binging #ana trigger

[becca-sketch]

I've eaten so much today. Nothing good either it was all junk. One of those things was an ENTIRE BOX OF TEXAS TOAST GARLIC BREAD!!!!! that is 8 pieces. And I was still hungry.

I can't get full and I don't know why and I know if I keep eating then I will just have to eat more to feel full later down the line and I can't even purge it because it's all been digested now.

#anamia #binging #proanaforme #proana

[becca-sketch]

Hey so like I'm just wondering if this happens to any other people who purge. So today I purged ( I haven't done it in so long but I felt like shit for what is ate today) and when I looked in the mirror I had these weird red speckles on the upper half of my face. At first I thought it was spray paint because me and my mom were painting stuff the other day but that wouldn't explain why I had it on my face now ( that was Thursday it is now Saturday and I tried scrubbing it off. It didn't come off) so I'm just wondering if I should be concerned.

[becca-sketch]

Hey y'all!!!!!!!

Guess who is back on their mental illness shit???!!!

ME!!!!

I haven't taken my meds In so long because I ran out and then my insurance ran out and I just yesterday changed my insurance but I still haven't ordered more meds!!!

I know I can't control what people do with their body's (saying this because of what side of tumblr I'm on) but please when you KNOW your insurance is gonna run out and you don't have many meds left

ORDER YOUR DAMN MEDS!!!

That is all

[becca-sketch]

Relblog if....

You know what the wrist thing means

You drink excessive amounts water

You stay if your room all the time to avoid food

You've had your scale taken

Your trying to stop purging

You've seen to the bone

You do yoga or pilates

Your close to your gw

You love Christmas but are scared of the foods

[becca-sketch]

I am too, the gay

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

[becca-sketch]

Why does going thru these tags and thinspo make me feel so sick of eating. Why you hate me brain!

#anorexic

[becca-sketch]

Don't mind me just rebooting this because I want to do the so bad but I suck at eating little

Day 12: I had 847 calories today so I hit my goal 😊

[becca-sketch]

rb to give a flower to the person you rb this from

[becca-sketch]

Nah I Still have to pay rent. And was almost kicked out because of grades. Rent is cheap but my mental health is gone lmao

[becca-sketch]

Nonono it's buy drugs. Like from the pharmacy. That shit is expensive and I'm running low!

Cute date ideas: buy me drugs

[becca-sketch]

What sucks about that is that they most likely have eaten... they most likely snacked and just have my had a full meal but then brain tells to not eat and you won't even have a bite of something

someone: i haven’t eaten ALL DAY!!

my ed: ah fuck, they win. you have to beat them. dont eat for two days. you have to be the best. you gotta-

[becca-sketch]

I'm not liking the one I'm on now. It has me eating so much so often

obsessed with this new diet where i just don’t eat 💕

[becca-sketch]

[becca-sketch]

Logic brain: this! This right here!

Fucked up brain: shhhh shhhh shh sh. I'm still fat so I can't be sick yet

🎐🌟I had to read this twice and now i feel personaly attacked🌟🎐