beginagainunsolved

[beginagainunsolved]

Hello and welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved Post Mortem, a show where were answer your pressing questions about the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, which was Jason Todd.

Please send any questions or comments you have about this episode to us here! You can send questions anonymously or send them in character. (Or anonymously and in character, for any character with important questions who doesn’t want people to know it’s them!)

(You can also feel free to suggest future episodes of Begin Again Unsolved for us to add to our list.)

#post mortem #beginagainunsolved #episode: jason todd

[beginagainunsolved]

RYAN: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we’ll be talking about the mysterious “death” of Jason Todd.

SHANE: Why is death in air quotes there?

RYAN: You’ll see.

SHANE: I love it when you get all mysterious. Really draws me in. You’ve got me on the edge of my seat here, Ryan!

RYAN: Oh, it gets edgier.

SHANE: Don’t think that works in this context, buddy.

RYAN: It does. You’ll see. This guy’s a real edgelord.

SHANE: Gross.

RYAN: Shut up. Anyway, this is actually one of our most highly requested cases. We get comments to do this one every time we post a new video, so —

SHANE: You guys can SHUT UP now. We’re DOING IT. Get off our BACKS.

RYAN: Okay, maybe don’t — maybe don’t yell at them.

SHANE: Hey, I’ll yell if I want to yell.

RYAN: Okay.

RYAN, NARRATION: Jason Peter Todd was the second ward of billionaire Bruce Wayne, adopted shortly after his first ward, Dick Grayson, was emancipated and moved away from Gotham city.

SHANE: Why is this guy always adopting kids? Can that be the next episode?

RYAN: That would be so boring. “This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved: A Billionaire is Lonely.”

SHANE: There are better ways to deal with loneliness, Ryan.

RYAN: I don’t know. He seems to like his way.

SHANE: I guess.

RYAN, NARRATION: Not much is known about Jason’s life prior to his adoption. Unlike Wayne’s previous ward, Dick Grayson, it doesn’t appear that Todd had any sort of public persona. Most reports claim he was born to a poor family and largely grew up on the streets, but it’s difficult to confirm.

SHANE: You mean you couldn’t find it on Google?

RYAN: Yeah, I couldn’t find it on Google. I typed in “Jason Todd - Street Youth?” And nothing came up, so I called it a day and got a smoothie.

SHANE: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: Most accounts of Jason’s life begin shortly after his adoption. During this time, it appears that Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne weren’t on speaking terms, at least to the general public. Shortly before Jason’s adoption, Dick stopped making public appearances and attending galas with Wayne. Many speculate that Jason’s adoption was Wayne’s attempt to fill the void left by his first ward’s departure.

SHANE: Oof.

RYAN: Yeah, oof.

SHANE: And I thought my family had drama!

RYAN: Your family has you. That’s enough drama.

SHANE: Didn’t your dad cut someone’s head off once?

RYAN: Please stop telling people that. Someone’s gonna believe you! The FBI are going to show up at his door!

SHANE: I hope they do. I hope SHIELD interrogates him.

RYAN: NO!

RYAN, NARRATION: People who knew Jason Todd in the years immediately following his adoption into the Wayne family paint the tale of a troubled young man vying for the attention of his newfound father. After his supposed death, many of Wayne’s high status acquaintances who had met the boy at galas and public events were quick to come forward with their own accounts of his demeanor and personality.

SHANE: Ryan, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…

RYAN AND SHANE, IN UNISON: Rich people fucking suck.

SHANE: Rich people fucking suck!

RYAN: On this, we absolutely agree.

SHANE: This one thing!

RYAN: This one thing, yeah.

SHANE: Anyway. Eat the rich!

RYAN: Okay.

RYAN, NARRATION: The real mystery of Jason Todd, of course, doesn’t lie in how he became associated with Bruce Wayne. The real mystery comes from how this association ended.

SHANE: Here we go!

RYAN: Here we go.

RYAN, NARRATION: Then, in 2010, not long after his adoption into the Wayne family, Jason suddenly disappeared from the public eye. Much like Dick Grayson before him, he stopped attending galas and public events. Unlike Dick Grayson, no one seemed to know where he ended up at all.

SHANE: So this wasn’t a “I’m mad at my dad so I’m gonna crash on my buddy’s couch” type situation.

RYAN: Oh, no, definitely not. This kid seemingly vanished into thin air.

SHANE: Like Amelia Earhart! We all remember her!

RYAN: Don’t say anything about the —

SHANE: She was eaten by crabs.

RYAN: Jesus Christ.

RYAN, NARRATION: This went on for some time, with Jason out of the public eye and Bruce largely dodging questions about him when asked. Then, one day, Bruce Wayne called a press conference and made a startling revelation: Jason Todd was dead.

SHANE: Not a fun press conference.

RYAN: Not really, no. It’s — You can still watch it on YouTube. It’s bleak, man.

SHANE: Well, he’s announcing his son’s untimely death, Ryan. There’s not gonna be confetti.

RYAN: Yeah, but I mean — he pretty much just gets up on stage, makes a depressing ass announcement, and leaves right away.

SHANE: Imagine being a reporter there. Just standing out in the rain. Was it raining? I bet it was raining.

RYAN: I think it’s just, like, perpetually raining in Gotham. It’s got those kind of vibes.

SHANE: Depressing noir detective vibes, yeah. That’s why all those people dress up like bats and clowns. Nobody does that in L.A.

RYAN: No, we don’t get a lot of bats or clowns in L.A.

SHANE: We had the flame head guy! Miss him.

RYAN: He comes up in this.

SHANE: HE DOES?!?

RYAN: Spoiler alert!

SHANE: No, she lives in Gotham, too.

RYAN: Shut up.

RYAN, NARRATION: Life seemed to move on for the Wayne family after this. Jason was buried in a Gotham cemetery following a private funeral. Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne seemingly reunited. Some time down the line, Wayne adopted Tim Drake, a boy whose recently deceased parents ran in his social circles. Jason continued to be a rarely mentioned subject in any public appearances made by the Wayne family and their close associates, and any time he was brought up in interviews, journalists were categorically shut down.

SHANE: This is getting depressing, but I want to circle back around to this guy’s kid adopting addiction. Nobody should have this many orphans, Ryan.

RYAN: I mean, he’s helping them, right?

SHANE: Is he? He’s just replacing one with the next! Like a congo line!

RYAN: A congo line of — You know, I say this a lot, but this time I really mean it. You are going to get us so sued.

SHANE: It’s like the Macarena. You put an orphan in and take an orphan out.

RYAN: That’s the Hokey Pokey.

SHANE: And shake ‘em all about.

RYAN: Please stop.

RYAN, NARRATION: With most cases, this would be the end of it. A bleak end to a bleak story. But instead, this is where things get weird.

SHANE: Hooo boy. This is where the air quotes come in.

RYAN: This is where the air quotes come in!

RYAN, NARRATION: A few years after his death, Jason Todd seemingly reemerged. He was spotted leaving Wayne Manor, a few inches taller and with a new hair do.

SHANE: I’m just gonna put this out there, like, as an unofficial theory.

RYAN: Oh god.

SHANE: Are we sure this wasn’t just some other random orphan? The guy likes orphans, Ryan. He has an orphan problem.

RYAN: If it was another random orphan, it was a random orphan that looked exactly like Jason Todd.

SHANE: Wouldn’t put it past him!

RYAN: How would he even manage that?

SHANE: I don’t know! He’s rich!

RYAN: That can’t be your answer to everything shady you accuse someone of doing.

SHANE: It can, and it is.

RYAN: I really hope Buzzfeed has lawyer lined up for us. We’re gonna need so many lawyers.

SHANE: I’m sure we’ll be fine.

RYAN: (long sigh)

RYAN, NARRATION: When asked about Todd’s sudden reappearance, members of the Wayne family dodged the question just as thoroughly as they once dodged questions regarding his death. Their excuses, typically flimsy, varied from person to person with some saying the man who appeared to be Jason was actually someone else, and others saying said man didn’t exist at all.

SHANE: Pfffft. “Oh, no, there’s no man here! No man at all!”

RYAN: I actually looked up a lot of the denials, and some of them get… wild. Dick Grayson once claimed that no one ever said Jason Todd died at all.

SHANE: The press conference is on YouTube!

RYAN: He said it was a prank.

SHANE: A prank? Man, fuck this guy!

RYAN: I think he just panicked.

SHANE: He can panic more smoothly than that, at least! Have a little respect!

RYAN: (wheeze) You’re telling people about respect now?

SHANE: I’m very respectful, Ryan.

RYAN: You told a ghost to eat your ass last week!

SHANE: We’ve been over this. I don’t respect ghosts because they aren’t real. I told an empty room to eat my ass. And it did not comply.

RYAN: You accused Bruce Wayne of stealing orphans three minutes ago!

SHANE: I don’t respect rich people, either, because fuck ‘em.

RYAN: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: So, what ever happened to Jason Todd? Let’s get into the theories.

SHANE: I’m sure they’re all perfectly reasonable.

RYAN: As always.

SHANE: Oh, no.

RYAN, NARRATION: The first theory is that Jason Todd’s “death” was a coverup for a ransom attempt.

SHANE: That kind of makes sense.

RYAN: Yeah! Like, obviously Wayne wouldn’t want people to know his kid was abducted for ransom. Especially if he was going to plan on paying it.

SHANE: Well. I don’t think he’d say “yeah that kid’s dead” if he was planning on paying the ransom.

RYAN: You think he left him to die?

SHANE: RICH PEOPLE SUCK!

RYAN: God. I can taste the lawsuit.

RYAN, NARRATION: This theory is a rather straightforward one: After receiving a ransom note for his son some time after his disappearance, Wayne announced Jason’s death to cover it up and prevent the kidnappers from getting the publicity that would have made them infamous.

SHANE: Like a big ole fuck you!

RYAN: Yeah, I mean, you’d get a lot of clout for kidnapping a famous billionaire’s son. Especially in Gotham, right? Out there, it’s like… Crime is currency, almost. You build up a reputation like that, you can rule the city.

SHANE: Exactly! So by taking that away… Kind of ruins their whole thing.

RYAN: Right! And then they’ve got no use for Jason anymore and, you know, killing somebody’s a lot harder than kidnapping them, so…

SHANE: Oh, I don’t think they let him go. That kid was scrappy. He probably gave ‘em all rabies and ran.

CAMERAMAN, IN BACKGROUND: Guys. Defamation —

SHANE: Yeah, yeah, we know. Let’s move on!

RYAN, NARRATION: The next theory ties back to Jason’s alleged life before his adoption as a street kid. This theory states that Jason, like many young people in Gotham, got tangled up with some of the neighborhood’s local gangs and got in over his head.

SHANE: His sordid past as an eight year old came back to haunt him?

RYAN: Well, presumably he stayed in contact with people he knew at the time and got pulled into the gangs later.

SHANE: Nah, I want an eight year old with a shiv. He’ll shank you… but only from the waist down. Can’t reach any higher.

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: Except for on you! You’re, like, the size of an eight year old. Man, he’d crush you.

RYAN: Yeah, well, you’d be fine, Gumbo. He wouldn’t be able to reach anything above your foot. You’d be like a giraffe stepping on a thumbtack.

SHANE: I keep telling you, Ryan, I am average height. You’re just abnormally short.

RYAN: Fuck you, buddy.

SHANE: Ouch.

RYAN, NARRATION: According to this theory, Jason’s death was faked in order to save his life from mobsters associated with famed Gotham gang leader Oswald Cobblepot, otherwise known as the Penguin.

SHANE: Why does everybody in Gotham have a stupid name?

RYAN: You don’t like the Penguin?

SHANE: I don’t care for it, no, but I also don’t love the name ‘Oswald Cobblepot.’ Like, that sounds ridiculous.

RYAN: Maybe that’s why he chooses to go by the Penguin.

SHANE: He should choose to go by Stan.

RYAN: Stan?

SHANE: Stan.

RYAN: No clarification there?

SHANE: I don’t believe it needs any.

RYAN: Okay.

RYAN, NARRATION: Our third theory is by far the most simple: Tired of the life of a billionaire’s son, Jason asked Bruce to fake his death in order to allow him to disappear from the public eye.

SHANE: (wheeze)

RYAN: I will admit… There are probably better ways to duck out of the public eye.

SHANE: YOU THINK?

RYAN: Like, faking my death might not be my first resort.

SHANE, IN AN EXAGGERATED IMITATION OF A CHILD’S VOICE: Oh, I’m tired of people taking my picture. Papa, will you tell them all I died a gruesome death? I’m going to Fiji!

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: And then Wayne, what, just went along with it?

RYAN: Well, I guess he was due for another orphan soon anyway.

SHANE: I’m so glad you’ve warmed up to these jokes.

RYAN: I’m getting sued anyway, I might as well have fun with it.

SHANE: I am loving this development for you, Ryan!

RYAN, NARRATION: The next theory ties into a legend that some of our viewers from the Los Angeles area may be familiar with, —

SHANE: OH HELL YEAH! HERE IT COMES!

RYAN, NARRATION: — the Ghost Rider.

SHANE: (cheering)

RYAN, NARRATION: This theory states that Jason Todd’s anonymity exists to cover up his identity, and that the initial ‘death’ occured when he took up the mantle. Some believers of this theory claim that Wayne may have actually believed Todd was dead at the time, as he may have dropped off the radar entirely in order to pursue work as the Ghost Rider.

SHANE: This is my favorite one.

RYAN: I don’t think there’s any merit to it.

SHANE: Oh, absolutely not. But you’ve gotta love the theater of it!

RYAN: It does have a certain level of aesthetic appeal, yeah.

SHANE: Just some random rich kid out here with his head on fire, killing guys with crowbars.

RYAN: (wheeze) Why crowbars?

SHANE: I don’t know. Crowbars feel right here.

RYAN: That doesn’t make any sense.

SHANE: And the rest of this does?

RYAN: Good point.

RYAN, NARRATION: Perhaps supporting this theory is the fact that Ghost Rider tends to go after gangsters much like the ones Todd would have been dodging as a young man in Gotham. It also seems to tie into the rash, angry personality that many people claim he displayed. According to this theory’s supporters, Todd became fed up with the state of the city.

SHANE: And… what? Decided to light his head on fire?

RYAN: Well, maybe he was a metahuman.

SHANE: I guess that’s why he didn’t stay in Gotham. Doesn’t Batman kick them all out?

RYAN: That’s what people say, yeah.

SHANE: Man. Dick move of Batman to kick Bruce Wayne’s kid out of the city. (chuckles.) Get it? Dick?

RYAN: Oh my god.

RYAN, NARRATION: Our fifth and final theory is that Jason Todd was abducted by aliens.

SHANE: Nope.

RYAN: Don’t you at least want to hear the full theory?

SHANE: Absolutely not.

RYAN: Well, they do.

SHANE: Who is ‘they’ ?

RYAN: The people!

SHANE: They don’t want to hear your alien theories, Ryan. No one does.

RYAN: Well, it’s my video. And I’m going to tell the alien theory.

SHANE: (long sigh)

RYAN, NARRATION: This theory states that aliens, in an attempt to gain power and intel in preparation for an invasion, targeted Jason because of his close relationship with one of the richest and most prominent men in Gotham.

SHANE: So they interrogated him and then just spat him back out?

RYAN: Let me finish!

RYAN, NARRATION: According to this theory, the Jason Todd who returned after his ‘death’ was not Jason Todd at all but, rather, was an alien clone.

SHANE: I regret letting you finish.

RYAN: (wheeze) I knew you would!

RYAN, NARRATION: Believers of this theory claim it’s supported by the physical differences between the Jason Todd who disappeared and the one who lives in Gotham now, including his hair and his height.

SHANE: Or, hear me out. He grew. And he dyed his hair.

RYAN: Aliens seems more plausible to me.

SHANE: I hate you.

RYAN: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: So, what really happened to Jason Todd? Did he fall in deep with the wrong crowds and have to give up his life to find his way out? Was he kidnapped in an attempt to get money and influence from his wealthy adoptive family? Or is there something otherworldly about his disappearance and reappearance into the world? With the Wayne family refusing comments and no other sources to consult, it looks like the truth behind the scenes of Gotham’s most prestigious family will have to remain… unsolved.

WHAT UNSOLVED MYSTERY DO YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT?

#beginagainunsolved #episode: jason todd #true crime

[beginagainunsolved]

Hello and welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved Post Mortem, a show where were answer your pressing questions about the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, which was Midland Circle.

Please send any questions or comments you have about this episode to us here! You can send questions anonymously or send them in character. (Or anonymously and in character, for any character with important questions who doesn’t want people to know it’s them!)

(You can also feel free to suggest future episodes of Begin Again Unsolved for us to add to our list.)

#post mortem #beginagainunsolved #episode: midland circle

[beginagainunsolved]

RYAN: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we discuss the destruction of Midland Circle, a financial office firm located in Hell’s Kitchen, New York City.

SHANE: God, it’s always New York. Why does anyone live in New York?

RYAN: That’s honestly a good point. I mean, at this point, it’s just —

SHANE: It’s irresponsible!

RYAN: You’re right, but let’s — let’s not waste time there. Let’s get into it.

SHANE: I’m ready to be disappointed. 

RYAN: Hey, fuck you!

RYAN, NARRATION: On August 18, 2019, a series of tremors were felt throughout New York City. The epicenter for these tremors appeared to be located in Hell’s Kitchen, a crime-ridden neighborhood in the city.

SHANE: That’s where the horny boy lives!

RYAN: I’m trying to decide if I want to acknowledge that with a response.

SHANE: You just did.

RYAN: Fuck.

RYAN, NARRATION: Over the course of the next few days, more tremors were felt. While citizens were understandably concerned, local government and the media chalked the vibrations up to nearby construction and wrote off all complaints.

SHANE: Typical.

RYAN, NARRATION: Then-talk show host Trish Walker — who was then known as former childhood star but is now better known as a criminal convicted of a number of murders —

SHANE: What a weird claim to fame.

RYAN: It is a pretty diverse resume. 

SHANE: Actor! Talk show host! (In an exaggerated, cartoonish tone) Muuuuuurdeeeeer? 

RYAN: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: Then-talk show host Trish Walker — who was then known as former childhood star but is now better known as a criminal convicted of a number of murders — featured a caller on her popular show Trish Talk who claimed to be a seismologist. The caller insisted that the tremors weren’t a natural occurrence, thus feeding into conspiracy theories as they continued. 

SHANE: Really? Off the word of someone who calls into radio shows? Crazy people call into radio shows, Ryan.

RYAN: I’ve called into a radio show before.

SHANE: My point exactly.

RYAN, NARRATION: Speculation around the mysterious tremors reached a tipping point on August 21, when Midland Circle, a newly constructed office for a financial firm in Hell’s Kitchen, suddenly collapsed inward on itself. The collapse was said to be the result of an earthquake, something many New Yorkers seem to doubt.

SHANE: Why, because some crazy lady on the radio told them it was unnatural?

RYAN: (wheeze) You can’t pretend it’s not suspicious!

SHANE: I went for a walk today and, wouldn’t you know it, it started to rain! That’s suspicious. Isn’t that suspicious, Ryan?

RYAN: Fuck you! Will you at least let me get to the theories?

SHANE: It’s not like I can stop you, is it?

RYAN: No, you cannot!

SHANE: (long sigh) Get on with it. 

RYAN, NARRATION: So, what destroyed Midland Circle? Was it really an earthquake, or was something more sinister at play? And if someone did intentionally destroy this building — why? Let’s get into the theories. The first theory, while depressing, is remarkably straightforward — Midland Circle was the target of a terrorist plot.

RYAN: Okay, so, not very exciting.

SHANE: What, because it’s plausible?

RYAN: The fact that it’s plausible makes it depressing, frankly.

SHANE: Life’s depressing, Ryan.

RYAN: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: This theory claims that there was nothing special about Midland Circle at all. It was a large building in the middle of a populated area of New York, and it was targeted only to send a message. 

RYAN: I’m waiting for the snarky comment.

SHANE: I don’t really have a lot of jokes in my repertoire about terrorism, Ryan.

RYAN: Fair enough.

RYAN, NARRATION: The theory goes on to say that the local government and the national government teamed up to cover up the attack in order to prevent widespread panic throughout the city while they found and dealt with those responsible.

SHANE: Again, depressing but plausible.

RYAN: Yeah, there’s not really much to say about this one. It’s, uh…

SHANE: (shrugging) Maybe? 

RYAN: Yeah, it’s a maybe.

RYAN, NARRATION: The second theory claims Wilson Fisk, a prominent crime boss in New York, was responsible for the destruction.

SHANE: Wasn’t he in jail at that point?

RYAN: Haven’t you ever seen a mafia movie? They can get stuff done from jail!

SHANE: I don’t think that guy was in the mafia, I think he was just kind of a dick.

RYAN: (wheeze) Jesus Christ, you can’t call the Kingpin a dick on our show.

SHANE: Why not? What’s he gonna do?

RYAN: Have you murdered?

SHANE: For making fun of him on the internet? 

RYAN: I mean, maybe!

SHANE: If I die for making fun of someone on the internet, Ryan, I’ll die happy.

RYAN: What the hell is wrong with you?

SHANE: Hey, Willie, baby, take Ryan out too! We’re a package deal!

RYAN: I hate you.

SHANE: Yeah, yeah.

RYAN, NARRATION: This theory suggests that Midland Circle Financial wasn’t as mundane as it appeared. According to some sources, several people involved in the business had old ties with Fisk, leading some to suggest that his old business partners were using his imprisonment as an opportunity to move in on the Kingpin’s territory. 

SHANE: Didn’t we just do a mob episode?

RYAN: I thought you liked mob episodes.

SHANE: We need variety, Ryan! My fans demand variety.

RYAN: Your fans?

SHANE: You don’t have any fans.

RYAN, NARRATION: The theory goes on, claiming that Fisk had his loyalists plant explosives within the building and blew it up while his old business partners were still inside. Whether this was to take out the competition, send a message, or some mixture of the two depends on who’s telling the story.

SHANE: What evidence is there for this? Beyond the fact that some people claim that a couple of the guys involved in this company maybe knew Fisk?

RYAN: …

SHANE: Oh my god.

RYAN: Hey, I’m just reading the theories!

SHANE: You can accuse Wilson Fisk of murder, but I can’t call him a wuss? That’s a double standard.

RYAN: Hey, he’s probably proud of his murders!

SHANE: I guess he did work hard on them.

RYAN: Put that up on the fridge!

SHANE: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: The next theory involves a secret government plot.

SHANE: I knew these were too dull.

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: You always do this! You put in, like, one or two plausible theories to get my guard in, and then you say ‘secret government plot’ like it’s normal!

RYAN, NARRATION: Like the last theory, this one claims that Midland Circle Financial wasn’t a normal financial firm. According to this theory, it was actually a coverup for a HYDRA base in New York City.

SHANE: (long, continuous groan)

RYAN, NARRATION: HYDRA, while thought to have been defeated in World War II, has already reemerged once as the foundation for SHIELD, which was dismantled and reassembled shortly after the reveal. This theory states that it was SHIELD who destroyed Midland Circle in an effort to further cripple their old rival.

SHANE: So, to be clear, you think HYDRA build a functional base in the middle of New York City, where Captain America lives?

RYAN: I mean, to be fair, they did manage to hide under his nose in the organization he worked for.

SHANE: You know what? I don’t say this often, but that’s a good point, Ryan.

RYAN: Thank you, Shane.

SHANE: I still think this theory’s a load of shit, though.

RYAN: I know you do.

RYAN, NARRATION: This theory does lose some traction when you consider the collateral damage, however. While SHIELD is known for operating with a gray morality, it does seem a little risky to blow up a building in the middle of the most populated city in the country.

SHANE: They would’ve just sent Black Widow.

RYAN: Just Black Widow?

SHANE: She’d take ‘em all out.

RYAN: Actually, that’s fair. I bet she’d take them all out.

SHANE: Black Widow, if you’re watching this, please be my friend.

RYAN: She can do better.

SHANE: That’s why I didn’t ask her to be your friend. She’d never stoop that low.

RYAN: Ouch.

RYAN, NARRATION: Our next theory is an old favorite — aliens.

SHANE: No. Goddamn it.

RYAN: You didn’t think we were going to have an alien theory this episode, did you?

SHANE: I hoped. I foolishly hoped.

RYAN, NARRATION: There are several versions of this theory. One claims that Asgardians, perhaps including Thor, destroyed the building on accident while celebrating.

SHANE: Thor partied hard and blew up an office building? That’s the theory?

RYAN: That’s the gist of it, yeah.

SHANE: I want to hand in my resignation.

RYAN: I won’t accept it.

SHANE: Ugh.

RYAN, NARRATION: Another version points the finger at Kryptonians, such as Supergirl, Superman, and the two Superboys. This theory has gained some traction in recent months —

SHANE: Because Supergirl ripped up a bunch of bridges?

RYAN: (wheeze) Yeah.

SHANE: I mean, who hasn’t ripped up a bunch of bridges? I do it every Tuesday!

RYAN: Is your goal just — are you trying to see what superhero you can get to murder us first?

SHANE: I would love to be murdered by a superhero, Ryan.

RYAN: I would love it if you were murdered by a superhero, too.

SHANE: That’s a lie.

RYAN: Supergirl, if you’re listening, please kill this man. It would be an incredibly heroic act.

SHANE: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: Another theory suggests that Midland Circle Financial was a coverup for a cult.

SHANE: How did you find one weirder than aliens? I’m honestly impressed.

RYAN: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: The basis for this theory falls with the paper trail following the ownership of Midland Circle Financial. Some sources have claimed that, if you follow the shell companies involved in Midland Circle back far enough, you’ll find the same signature on documents dating back centuries. 

SHANE: Wait, wait, wait. So it’s an immortal cult?

RYAN: I was getting to the immortal part, yes.

SHANE: I want to go home.

RYAN: Suck it up.

RYAN, NARRATION: Tracing back, this theory then links the owner of said signature to a man who ran what many claim to be a cult compound just outside the city. The compound recruited young people off the streets of New York for decades, focusing its attention largely on the Chinatown neighborhood.

RYAN: So, there is a basis for it.

SHANE: I’m not saying cults don’t exist, Ryan. I’m just saying I have a hard time believing a cult bought an office building in Hell’s Kitchen and blew it up.

RYAN: And I’m saying you need to rethink that.

SHANE: No.

RYAN, NARRATION: There are several reasonings behind the destruction of Midland Circle attached to this theory. One claims it was a ritualistic sacrifice, similar to mass suicides witnessed in other cults. Another states that it wasn’t the cult who blew up the building, but that its destruction was designed to take out the organization’s leaders.

SHANE: Does — does the mystery cult have a name, Ryan?

RYAN: … You’re gonna laugh.

SHANE: I’m positive I will.

RYAN: The Hand.

SHANE: (wheeze)

RYAN: It’s real!

SHANE: I’m gonna start up my own cult. Call it the Ear. 

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: So, when (exaggerated air quotes) “The Hand” did jobs, were they called hand jobs?

RYAN: (wheeze) Stop, this — this is serious! People died!

SHANE: Oh, so they were deadly hand jobs?

RYAN: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: The final theory is perhaps the most mundane — that the official story is the truth, and an isolated earthquake took out Midland Circle.

RYAN: Now, I know you’ll probably like this one — 

SHANE: Why, because it makes sense?

RYAN: Because it’s stupid.

SHANE: An earthquake is stupid, but an evil cult named after a body part is not?

RYAN: No, just — an earthquake that only took out one building? Seems a little convenient. 

SHANE: Maybe Quake did it!

RYAN: Why would Quake take out an office building?

SHANE: That mutant kid?

RYAN: Why would he take out an office building? 

SHANE: Why would Supergirl? Or Wilson Fisk? Or a fucking cult? It makes as much sense as any of your theories! Don’t discriminate against me.

RYAN: Nobody’s discriminating against the white guy.

SHANE: … Fair.

RYAN, NARRATION: So, what’s the truth behind the destruction of Midland Circle? Was the organization behind this building a simple financial firm trying to strike out in New York, or was there something more sinister at play? And who brought it down? With the rubble clear and the bodies buried, it seems the true story of this terrifying chapter in New York’s history will remain… unsolved. 

WHAT UNSOLVED MYSTERY DO YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT?

#beginagainunsolved #episode: midland circle #true crime

[beginagainunsolved]

RYAN I WANT TO HEAR THE HELENA BERTINELLI IS A GHOST THEORY GOD DAMMIT

SHANE: No.

RYAN: We have to give the people what they want, Shane.

SHANE: I’m a person. Give me what I want.

RYAN: What do you want?

SHANE: For you to go straight to Hell, sir.

RYAN: (wheeze) Can --- Can I say the theory?

SHANE: If you have to.

RYAN: Okay. So, this theory goes that while Helena Bertinelli was killed with her family in Gotham, the trauma of her death made her a particularly strong ghost, allowing her to essentially continue her life as a vengeful spirit. It goes on to say that Helena’s spirit is responsible for the deaths of several prominent members of Gotham’s Five Families in search of revenge for her family’s murder.

SHANE: Thanks, I hate it.

RYAN: I knew you would.

#post mortem #char: helena bertinelli #episode: bertinelli massacre #Anonymous #beginagainunsolved

[beginagainunsolved]

Hello and welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved Post Mortem, a show where were answer your pressing questions about the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, which was The Bertinelli Massacre

Please send any questions or comments you have about this episode to us here! You can send questions anonymously or send them in character. (Or anonymously and in character, for any character with important questions who doesn’t want people to know it’s them!)

(You can also feel free to suggest future episodes of Begin Again Unsolved for us to add to our list.)

#beginagainunsolved #post mortem #episode: bertinelli massacre

[beginagainunsolved]

RYAN: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we cover the murder of the Bertinelli crime family, a prominent Italian mob family operating out of Gotham, New Jersey.

SHANE: Oh, I love a good mob story.

RYAN: Yeah, well, you might want to find someone else to move your couch for this one.

SHANE: Well, Ryan, now I’m titillated. 

RYAN (wheeze) Titillated?

SHANE: Titillated! 

RYAN, NARRATION: In the 1990s, the Bertinelli family was perhaps the most powerful crime family in Gotham City. Headed by Franco Bertinelli, the family enjoyed great wealth thanks to their deep ties with the mafia.

SHANE: That’s the dream.

RYAN: Being rich thanks to the mafia? That’s the dream?

SHANE: Frankly, Ryan, all rich people are shady. At least being rich thanks to the mafia is upfront!

RYAN: I’m sure they didn’t go around telling everyone ‘hey, the mafia made me rich!’

SHANE: Their last name is Bertinelli, Ryan. They didn’t have to tell people. People just knew.

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: Look me in the eye and tell me Franco Bertinelli isn’t the most cliche mobster name you’ve ever heard.

RYAN: It --- It is pretty cliche, I have to give you that one.

SHANE: You do. 

RYAN, NARRATION: Well known around Gotham and the surrounding area, the Bertinellis were believed by many to be all but invincible due to their connections. This would change in the late 1990s. 

SHANE: Mafia life didn’t end well for them? It usually ends so well.

RYAN: How many stories have we done about mafia life ending less than well now?

SHANE: That’s, like, 90% of our job at this point. Just reading ‘idk, mafia?’ off a slideshow.

RYAN: And you still want them to move your couch.

SHANE: It’s a heavy couch! I’m not going to get indebted to them or anything. They’ll move one couch, I’ll do one thing for them, and we’ll be even!

RYAN: (wheeze) That’s not how the mafia works!

SHANE: How would you know?

RYAN: Because 90% of my job is reading ‘idk, mafia?’ off a slideshow.

SHANE: Touche. 

RYAN, NARRATION: In the late 1990s, when Franco’s daughter Helena was eight years old, an unknown person ordered a hit on the entire Bertinelli family. To this day, it isn’t known precisely who ordered the hit, but sources from within the organization claim that the contract came with an order to spare “the sister.” 

SHANE: Oh my god, there are nuns in this?

RYAN: What? (wheeze) No! Why would there be nuns in this?

SHANE: The Sister! Like a nun! These mobsters just didn’t want any nuns hurt.

RYAN: I promise you, this story has absolutely no nuns. 

SHANE: I’ll believe it when I see it.

RYAN: You’re seeing it right now, because I’m telling you.

SHANE: Hm.

RYAN: Ugh.

RYAN, NARRATION: The assassin who carried out the hit took this to mean that Helena, Bertinelli’s daughter, was to be spared. While Franco Bertinelli, his wife, and the rest of their family were slaughtered, Helena would survive the experience. She would, however, witness her family’s death.

SHANE: Can’t do that.

RYAN: Kill an entire family while their eight year old watches? Yeah, that’s not great.

SHANE: God that’s --- This is terrible. 

RYAN: Yeah, seems like they could have gone about it a little better.

SHANE: Like, maybe take the eight year old in the other room?

RYAN: Still not great!

SHANE: Well, no, Ryan, murdering a child’s entire family is never going to be great.

RYAN: But, yeah. You’d think they could have ‘spared’ her a little better here.

SHANE: These mafia hitmen need to stop taking things so literally!

RYAN: Actually… We’ll touch on that some more in the theories.

SHANE: Did I solve it?

RYAN: (wheeze) How is that anything remotely resembling a solve?

SHANE: I solved it!

RYAN: No! Stop saying you solved things.

SHANE: Jealousy is a bad look on you.

RYAN, NARRATION: For years, it was unclear what happened to Helena. Many people believed the rumors of her survival were false and that she had been killed along with her family. Other claims stated that she was sent to live with family in Sicily. Whatever the case, it’s clear that if Helena survived, she kept a low profile.

SHANE: I mean. Wouldn’t you?

RYAN: Yeah, if my entire family was killed in front of me at eight years old, I probably wouldn’t be going to many parties.

SHANE: (in a bad English accent) Oh, hello! Why, I haven’t seen you in years! My father? Ah, yes! Brutally murdered in front of me. My mother? Also brutally murdered! My brother? Why, it’s funny you should ask! He, too, was brutally murdered!

RYAN: (wheeze) Why are you doing English? They’re Italian. 

SHANE: All rich people are British, Ryan.

RYAN: No they’re not.

SHANE: At parties they are.

RYAN: That’s definitely not true.

SHANE: How do you know? Have you ever been to a party for rich people?

RYAN: ...You got me there.

RYAN, NARRATION: So, who ordered the hit on the Bertinelli family? Why were they killed? And, perhaps the bigger question, why was Helena Bertinelli, an eight year old girl, the only member of the family to survive? Let's get into the theories. The first theory points to Stefano Mandragora, a Sicilian mob boss, as the man behind the order.

SHANE: This is a boring theory. Where’s the excitement, Ryan? Where’s the pizzazz?

RYAN: I’m getting to the excitement! Would you let me finish?

SHANE: Get on with it! 

RYAN, NARRATION: This theory seems plausible, but the real meat comes from the local family tasked with completing the hit. Santo Cassamento was the leader of the Cassamento Family, one of Gotham’s Five Families. Because the Bertinellis were also one of Gotham’s Five Families, Cassamento would have had regular contact with them. This theory states that, during meetings and gatherings with the other Five Families in Gotham, Cassamento fell in love with Franco Bertinelli’s wife, Maria.

SHANE: Ooh, that is juicy. 

RYAN: Oh, it gets juicer.

SHANE: Go on.

RYAN, NARRATION: This theory goes on to claim that Helena Bertinelli wasn’t the daughter of Franco Bertinelli at all, but was in fact an illegitimate child conceived between Maria Bertinelli and Santo Cassamento. When tasked with eliminating the Bertinelli family, Cassamento knew he couldn’t save the woman he loved, and instructed the assassin to spare their daughter instead.

SHANE: That’s kind of sweet, in a way.

RYAN: How is that sweet? She died! He let an assassin kill her!

SHANE: Yeah, but --- It’s like Romeo and Juliet!

RYAN: I’m not convinced you’ve read Romeo and Juliet.

SHANE: I saw the movie.

RYAN: Which one?

SHANE: The one with Leo.

RYAN: That one’s pretty good.

SHANE: Yeah! See, I don’t have to read it. No one needs to read when they can just watch Leo do all the hard work for them.

RYAN: That’s… No. 

SHANE: You heard it here first, kids! Reading’s for chumps!

RYAN: No!

RYAN, NARRATION: A second theory believes that Helena Bertinelli was spared accidentally. According to this theory, there were no secret instructions to spare her at all. Rather, the eight year old got lucky when she managed to avoid the onslaught of bullets that killed her family and survived by hiding beneath her mother’s body until most of the assassins cleared out. When one of the assassins was tasked with confirming the kills, he couldn’t bring himself to kill the little girl and instead arranged for her to be taken to safety in Sicily before telling his employer she was dead.

SHANE: That’s horrifying.

RYAN: What part? The part where she only survived by dumb luck, or the part where she hid under her mother’s body?

SHANE: Actually, I meant the bit where her hair got a little messy --- OF COURSE I MEAN HER HIDING UNDER HER MOTHER’S CORPSE, RYAN. What else would I possibly mean? Jesus.

RYAN: (wheeze) Yeah, that’s --- That’s obviously terrible. I mean, this story is horrifying for Helena Bertinelli no matter what theory is the truth. Even if none of them are the truth, it’s clearly a terrible situation for an eight year old to be in.

SHANE: Agreed.

RYAN, NARRATION: The final theory is perhaps the most tragic --- that Helena Bertinelli wasn’t spared at all. In this theory, Helena was killed alongside her family, and the woman using her name now is an imposter hoping to gain control of the Bertinelli fortune. 

RYAN: This might sound far-fetched ---

SHANE: --- Actually? I could see it.

RYAN: Really?

SHANE: Sure. I mean, a rich family happens to die and you bear enough of a passing resemblance to their eight year old to pass as her 20-something years later so you figure, why not give it a shot? It’s not like there are many people around to contest it.

RYAN: That’s true.

SHANE: I mean, what, the assassin who killed them is going to come forward now and say, ‘Hey, that’s not Helena Bertinelli! I know because I killed that kid!’

RYAN: (wheeze) Good point. I doubt the assassin is going to come in to disprove it. What about the, uh, the moral implications of posing as a dead eight year old to get her family’s dirty money?

SHANE: I mean… They’re not great? Obviously pretending to be a dead person for money isn’t awesome. 

RYAN: It is dirty money, though.

SHANE: Yeah, Ryan, but the eight year old didn’t have anything to do with that!

RYAN: Yeah, that’s true. It does feel pretty disrespectful.

SHANE: Hey, you know me --- I say let the dead be dead.

RYAN: Are you about to pick a fight about ghosts right now?

SHANE: Not unless you’re going to pull a ‘Helena Bertinelli is a ghost’ theory out of your ass.

RYAN: Well, now that you mention it…

SHANE: Uh uh. This episode is OVER, buddy. Save your bullshit for the Post Mortem.

RYAN: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: Who ordered the hits on the Bertinelli family? Why was their eight year old daughter spared? Was she spared? With the only potential witness to the crime itself a traumatized eight year old girl and the threat of retribution from the remaining members of Gotham’s Five Families preventing anyone from coming forward with more information, the truth behind this massacre will likely forever remain… unsolved.

WHAT UNSOLVED MYSTERY DO YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT?

#beginagainunsolved #episode: bertinelli massacre #true crime

[beginagainunsolved]

Speaking of the Rat--pardon, BAT-family--anyone seen Red Robin, lately?

SHANE: Did we check the caves in the area? He could be hanging upside down somewhere. Taking a little nap!

RYAN: (wheeze) I don’t think --- That’s probably not where he is.

SHANE: You don’t know that, Ryan.

RYAN: I think I know that.

SHANE: Can you say it with one hundred percent confidence?

RYAN: I can say it with ninety-eight percent ---

SHANE: --- Ninety-eight is not one hundred.

RYAN: No, it’s not.

SHANE: So, that’s my answer. Upside down, in a cave. Living his best life.

RYAN: I’m positive you’re wrong.

SHANE: You’re just mad I solved one.

RYAN: You didn’t solve shit.

SHANE: Prove it, Ryan.

RYAN: God, I hate you.

#beginagainunsolved #post mortem #episode: the accords #char: tim drake #Anonymous

[beginagainunsolved]

Please solve the mystery of Supergirl’s perfect hair!!!!

SHANE: Ryan, what kind of shampoo do you use?

RYAN: Um? Irish spring?

SHANE: Supergirl uses Irish spring!

RYAN: What is the logic behind that?

SHANE: I just think you have a really nice sheen to your hair. 

RYAN: Thank you? I think?

SHANE: It’s an honest compliment! I don’t know what kind of beauty routine that Supergirl goes through before she’s flying through the sky and helping keep planes from crashing and saving lives. It’s — maybe perfect hair is a super power.

RYAN: So my hair is the next best?

SHANE: It is adequate, yes.

RYAN: Now it’s less of a compliment.

SHANE: Take it or leave it.

RYAN: I’ll take it. 

SHANE: There you have it. You want nice hair? Irish spring. 

#beginagainunsolved #post mortem #episode: the accords #Anonymous

[beginagainunsolved]

ok but what if the winter soldier is nick fury?? or all the avengers take turns with the mantle? who’s to say?

RYAN: If Nick Fury got like, a face lift maybe? 

SHANE: Are you AGE SHAMING now?

RYAN: NO — I’m just saying, he’s a little — okay maybe I am but for good reason. The guy in the pictures is clearly a man not —

SHANE: What? Not what, Ryan? A grandpa? A well aged wine?

RYAN: I don’t like this. 

SHANE: You’re the one shaming people based on their age now. You’d be surprised what some hair and makeup could do, a little CGI… he could be the Winter Soldier. 

RYAN: Really? You’re — you’re on board with this one?

SHANE: Why not? Makes more sense than anything else I’ve heard. 

RYAN: What about the Avengers just, passing around the costume? 

SHANE: They have like… two suitable options. Thor and Captain America. They’re the only one’s tall enough.

RYAN: … Okay.

SHANE: I speak the truth. The rest of them are a couple inches shy of metal armed man. 

RYAN: So, you’re saying that I couldn’t be the Winter Soldier?

SHANE: Was — wait, was that a real theory?

RYAN: No. I just want to know how deep your hatred of short people go. 

SHANE: Not very. Not a lot of depth to you miniature humans. 

RYAN: Hm.

SHANE: Hm yourself, Ryan. 

RYAN: HM. 

SHANE, looking into the camera: I’m right. And the Avengers passing around the Winter Soldier mantle? Not a compelling theory. Grandpa Fury though? Yelling at everyone — including the Avengers — to get off his lawn? Love it.

RYAN: (wheezing) Okay. 

#beginagainunsolved #post mortem #episode: the accords #Anonymous

[beginagainunsolved]

yo shane & ryan—what are your thoughts on the secret identity provisions of the accords? (and the rumors they were created for spider-man so as to draft literal underage children into this whole thing without the public knowing and probably suing about)

RYAN: Isn't he like ... 24 

SHANE: Were you an adult at 24 

RYAN: I had rent to pay at 24, yes 

SHANE: That doesn't make you an adult 

RYAN: What, do you think, qualifies me as an adult in this-- 

SHANE: -- in this economy?

RYAN: We're not going to have a crisis about money right now -

SHANE: Why not? It's a huge issue.

RYAN: You lived in your mom's basement at 24.

SHANE: You are PROVING MY POINT. I was a child, Ryan.

RYAN: A very tall, malformed child.

SHANE: Hurtful.

RYAN: But true.

SHANE: No but --- I mean, seriously, this is just… I mean, Spider-Man was doing his thing before he was on Team Iron Man, wasn’t he? He was on YouTube! There’s video evidence! It’s not like your ghosts ---

RYAN: --- We have captured plenty of footage of ghosts ---

SHANE: Have we? I’d love to see it sometime.

RYAN: Oh, fuck you.

SHANE: But he’s --- Look, people are going to do what they do. You get these kid heroes, the, uh, the Baby Avengers ---

RYAN: --- Young Avengers ---

SHANE: The Timers ---

RYAN: --- Titans?

SHANE: The, um, the Rat Family ---

RYAN: --- Jesus, do you mean the Bat Family?

SHANE: The whoever, but the point is, you can’t stop superpowered kids from doing superpowered kid stuff. At least this way they have, like, they have adult supervision here, right? 

RYAN: I mean, I hate to admit it, but you do make a decent point.

SHANE: Yeah! So first off, no, I don’t think allowing registered heroes privacy is a ploy to recruit child soldiers. That’s --- That’s up there with lizard people for me, Ryan, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. And second, what’s the alternative? We just let these kids be superheroes on their own?

RYAN: I agree with you! You don’t have to argue with me.

SHANE: To be fair, you have argued in favor of lizard people.

RYAN: Fuck you!

#beginagainunsolved #post mortem #episode: the accords #Anonymous

[beginagainunsolved]

Hello and welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved Post Mortem, a show where were answer your pressing questions about the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, which was The Accords. 

Please send any questions or comments you have about this episode to us here! You can send questions anonymously or send them in character. (Or anonymously and in character, for any character with important questions who doesn’t want people to know it’s them!) 

(You can also feel free to suggest future episodes of Begin Again Unsolved for us to add to our list.)

#post mortem #episode: the accords

[beginagainunsolved]

RYAN: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we look into the mysterious circumstances behind the ratification of the Sokovia Accords, and the unsolved mystery of what really brought an end to one of the most prolific superhero teams of all time.

SHANE: The Power Pack broke up?

RYAN: Really? You think the Power Pack is the most --- You know what? I’m not doing this with you today. Let’s just get started. 

RYAN, NARRATION: In early 2016, Steve Rogers took a team of newly minted Avengers on a covert mission in Lagos, Nigeria. 

SHANE: What was the mission?

RYAN: I don’t know.

SHANE: What? What do you mean you don’t know?

RYAN: I mean SHIELD doesn’t really tell people about their missions --- 

SHANE: Did you even ask?

RYAN: Did I even --- Who was I going to ask?

SHANE: The eyepatch guy.

RYAN: You want me to ask Nick Fury about SHIELD missions?

SHANE: Or the arrow guy. I feel like the arrow guy would tell you.

RYAN: He probably would.

RYAN, NARRATION: While the original scope of the mission remains unclear, what happened next has gone down in history as one of the biggest superhero failures of our lifetime. An enemy agent triggered a vest bomb and, in an attempt to save her team, Wanda Maximoff, better known as the Scarlet Witch, levitated the man up into the air. It is unclear if it was a miscalculation on Maximoff’s part or if she was just too slow, but the bomb detonated before the agent was above the skyline, taking out the entire seventh floor of a nearby hotel and killing at least eleven people.

SHANE: Well.

RYAN: Yeah, that’s not --- It wasn’t great, Shane.

SHANE: No, not the best. It’s --- I keep saying, this is why math is ---

RYAN: Do not talk about math right now. People have suffered enough without you talking about math.

SHANE: I’m just saying, she could’ve --- a little bit of math might have ---

RYAN: No.

RYAN, NARRATION: The devastation of the explosion in Lagos came not long after a recently famous failure in Sokovia ---

SHANE: Evil robots.

RYAN: (wheeze) Yeah --- Yeah, there were evil robots. They were (wheeze) They were objectively terrible, but ---

(both laugh)

SHANE: Ridiculous, in hindsight. Evil robots. That’s --- Will Smith has made that movie eighty-seven times, Ryan.

RYAN: And you saw every one of them in theaters.

SHANE: I did.

RYAN, NARRATION: The devastation of the explosion in Lagos came not long after a recently famous failure in Sokovia, leading the United Nations to believe superheroes, as a whole, required regulation.

RYAN: Now, I don’t know if you have ---

SHANE: They were right.

RYAN: What?

SHANE: No, I mean --- They make a good point, Ryan!

RYAN: Not what I would have expected you to come back with.

SHANE: If the unsolved mystery here is whether or not superheroes need regulation, can I just say ---

RYAN: That’s not ---

SHANE: --- I solved it! They do.

RYAN: (wheeze) You’re going to make Magneto kill us.

SHANE: Frankly, Ryan, I would love to be killed by Magneto. 

RYAN: You know what? You’re right. I mean, it’s ---

BOTH: It’s the coolest way to die!

RYAN NARRATION: This is where things get a little dicey. Records show that, while several members of the Avengers team signed the proposed registration form — the Sokovia Accords — right away, others’ names never appeared on the list at all. 

SHANE: Ole Mr. America was feeling ornery that day. I know this story.

RYAN: Please don’t call Captain America ‘Ole Mr. America.’ I don’t want to get sued.

SHANE: How’s he gonna sue us? He’s a war criminal! What, he’s gonna --- he’s gonna get a lawyer? Take us to court? Nah, Ryan. He’d be arrested on the spot. We’re invincible.

RYAN: I don’t think we’re invincible.

SHANE: (shouting) We’re invincible, baby!

RYAN, NARRATION: A few days after the Avengers were presented with the Accords, several heads of state gathered in Vienna to discuss them. It is at this point that a bomb went off, ripping through the UN building and killing several prominent heads of state, including then-king of Wakanda, T’Chaka.

SHANE: Aw.

RYAN: Yeah, it’s --- it’s not a happy story.

SHANE: Why don’t we ever cover happy stories, Ryan? I want an unsolved mystery where a kid just --- a kid gets handed candy, and he --- 

RYAN: --- You want us to do an episode about a --- a mysterious, uh, candyman?

SHANE: … No. No, because there’s --- there’s no way that wouldn’t end up being something creepy, is there?

RYAN: No, there isn’t.

SHANE: This sucks, Ryan! This sucks.

RYAN, NARRATION: Officially, the bomb was attributed to the Winter Soldier, a famous assassin whose identity has never been released to the public. However, there is some doubt as to whether or not this mysterious figure was the real bomber.

SHANE: Stop it.

RYAN: Stop what?

SHANE: You’ve got your conspiracy hat on, Ryan, and it’s unsettling. You need better hats. It’s embarrassing.

RYAN: Fuck you!

RYAN, NARRATION: The rest of the story, as far as public record goes, is fuzzy. It appears that the Winter Soldier was taken into custody at one point, but he promptly escaped.

SHANE: (wheeze)

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: ‘Oh we --- we got him! We did it boys! We --- fuck he’s gone.’

RYAN: It doesn’t really inspire confidence, does it?

SHANE: They arrested him for two minutes, Ryan.

RYAN: It was a nice two minutes!

SHANE: He spent a minute and thirty seconds of it escaping.

RYAN: But they had --- they had a solid grip on him for thirty seconds.

SHANE: That’s true!

RYAN, NARRATION: It’s at this point that the Avengers appeared to split off into two factions. One side, led by Tony Stark, favored the Accords. The other, led by Steve Rogers, opposed it.

RYAN: So, you would have been on Iron Man’s side.

SHANE: I’ll take it. He’s rich!

RYAN: I’m pretty sure he didn’t pay everyone who agreed with him.

SHANE: Maybe if he had, the Avengers wouldn’t have broken up!

RYAN: (wheeze) Maybe!

RYAN, NARRATION: The two leaders and their respective teams faced off in Germany, where an altercation lead to the entirety of Rogers’s team minus Rogers himself and the Winter Soldier, who appeared to join forces with Rogers at some point during the aftermath of his escape, to be arrested and confined in the Raft.

SHANE: (wheeze) That’s not --- That’s not great.

RYAN: (wheeze) Hey guys, join Team Captain America, where everyone but me and my new murder pal go to supermax prison!

SHANE: Another good reason to be Team Iron Man!

RYAN, NARRATION: There appears to have been a secondary confrontation between Iron Man and Captain America, but the details of this are hazy at best. All that can be said for certain is that, at some point, Tony Stark retrieved the shield his father made from Steve Rogers. Sometime later, several members of Captain America’s team escaped from the Raft, leaving only Ant-Man and Hawkeye, who chose to serve out their sentences to avoid going on the run.

SHANE: Well, that was nice of him!

RYAN: Legally, we can’t say Captain America broke his friends out of supermax prison.

SHANE: Who else would have done it, Ryan? A ghost?

RYAN: (wheeze) Maybe it was an ant!

SHANE: Bullshit! I refuse to believe Ant-Man was useful.

RYAN: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: So, who was responsible for the bomb in Vienna? What happened in Germany? And what happened after? Let’s get into the theories. The first theory is also the simplest: it states that everything happened exactly the way the papers tell it. The Winter Soldier, working for Hydra or another covert organization, bombed the summit in Vienna. This theory goes on to state that Captain America was secretly affiliated with Hydra as a sleeper agent, and betrayed his team in order to help the Winter Soldier escape.

SHANE: Okay, that’s…

RYAN: Bullshit, yeah.

SHANE: You expect me to think that the guy wearing America underpants is a Nazi? I just ---

RYAN: --- He punched Hitler!

SHANE: In the face!

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: Nobody punches Hitler in the face for a cover story! They do it because he’s Hitler! And his face needs punching!

RYAN: Yeah, I don’t think we need to spend a lot of time on this one.

SHANE: Agreed.

RYAN, NARRATION: Our second theory is that the Winter Soldier was not the Vienna bomber, and that Captain America decided to help him fight for his freedom after becoming aware of his innocence. Meanwhile, Tony Stark remained convinced that he was right, leading to the altercation between the two.

SHANE: I’ve gotta say, the idea that two grown men couldn’t use their words is a lame theory, but ---

RYAN: --- It’s still better than ‘Captain America is a Nazi.’

SHANE: Yeah, it’s still better than that.

RYAN: I mean… I could buy this one.

SHANE: You think the guy, the, uh ---

RYAN: --- The Winter Soldier ---

SHANE: The Winter Soldier, yeah! His name is the Winter Soldier, and you think he was just, just a nice misunderstood guy?

RYAN: Maybe!

SHANE: No! Look at him! He’s shady!

RYAN: (wheeze) He does look pretty shady, yeah. 

SHANE: A shady dude! There’s no way that guy hasn’t --- hasn’t done a little murder. I mean, he’s --- it’s the hair, Ryan.

RYAN: What if he wore it in a man bun?

SHANE: (wheeze) Like, uh, like the Hipster Soldier?

RYAN: Yeah! Yeah, what if he was the Hipster Soldier?

SHANE: I would believe the Hipster Soldier was innocent. 

RYAN: Well, I think you’re going to really like my last theory here ---

SHANE: Oh, no. Ryan, I swear to god, if you say ---

RYAN, NARRATION: The final theory is that Captain America, along with his team, was replaced by a group of shape-shifting aliens who wanted to take out what was arguably the largest obstacle standing between them and the planet --- the Avengers.

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: (deadpan) Frankly, Ryan, I’m just disappointed.

RYAN: We’ve been invaded by aliens! Multiple times!

SHANE: That doesn’t mean everyone you meet is an alien! I mean, we’ve had --- there were killer robots in Sokovia, but that doesn’t mean the toaster’s out to get you.

RYAN: I’m just saying, this is… It’s not the most far fetched ----

SHANE: --- No, it is the most far fetched theory you’ve thrown out today. 

RYAN: But not ever?

SHANE: I can’t say it’s the most far fetched theory you’ve ever thrown out. Most of your theories are pretty dumb, Ryan.

RYAN: (wheeze) They’re all well-known, actively discussed theories!

SHANE: Well-known and actively discussed by who? Anyone wearing a tin foil hat is not your friend.

RYAN: You’re just mad you couldn’t find a tin foil hat big enough to fit your head.

SHANE: I would never be mad about that. If anything, I’m relieved. If there was one that would fit me, you would make me wear it. I’m surprised you aren’t wearing one.

RYAN: I’m not a tin foil guy. I’ve told you that before.

SHANE: Sure. Holy water, though…

RYAN: Holy water works!

SHANE: I’m going home.

RYAN, NARRATION: So, what exactly happened to make the Avengers go their separate ways? Was the Winter Soldier really responsible for the bombing in Vienna, or were there other, more sinister groups at play? And what happened in the time between the arrest of Captain America’s team and their escape from the Raft? With any real answers locked tightly in top-secret files, the true story of the fall of the Avengers will remain… unsolved.

WHAT UNSOLVED MYSTERY DO YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT?

#beginagainunsolved #episode: the accords #true crime