bigbuffboirevengeance

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

Did... Did he see it??

Oh, he saw.

And he shall see so much more, soon.

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

You see, my dearest readers, this isn't actually the end of the ploy. No, this is merely chapter one of a saga. A story that stretches beyond the bounds of merely one tasteful nude of a space wizard.

You see, I knew well enough from experience that, though the picture may elicit some blushing, it wouldn't be enough. No, there is not enough physicality in a mere image of sexy Magnus to extract the amount of raw cringe I need.

Well, maybe there would be if drew him with his cock out, but that, as of right now, remains to be seen.

The point is, I'm not stopping here. My crusade has only just begun, and god help the man who prompted my wrath. I will have vengeance.

Soft, squishy, and oh so very explicit vengeance.

Gather around, children. Let me tell you of my woes.

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

Or, at least, so he believes...

Gather around, children. Let me tell you of my woes.

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

I was correct in my initial assumption. My dear flatmate walked in, bleary-eyed and exhausted. Shoulder-barging his way into his room, he didn't even notice his waiting surprise.

It took near an hour of waiting with baited breath, my chest tight in anticipation, awaiting his reaction. Eventually, though, I knew dear Magnus was found. From the room neighboring mine, I heard it. A clatter, followed by a moment of silence, a rip, and than a rather loud "OH MY!"

I emerged to find him smiling.

The chatter in the aftermath came to an underwhelming conclusion; he found it funny. No cringe, no embarrassment, merely laughter. I still sometimes catch him tenderly stroking the side of dear Magnus' face from time to time. Alas, my master plan - my revenge - had failed.

Gather around, children. Let me tell you of my woes.

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

And then what happened? Please I need to know! Are you getting him printed on a body pillow?

Ah, I did reveal a little more today, though I cannot tell you of my plans too far in advance. You see, my flatmate does indeed have a tumblr account, and though I doubt he'd come across this blog, it is a possibility I cannot risk. He and you shall discover this tale as it unfolds. Excellent suggestion though.

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

I had one day left until his return. In those fleeting hours, I went about setting up what I believed would be an appropriate method of presenting the man with his 'gift'.

The doors to each of our bedrooms are covered in doodles that we've taped to the wood. It is how we personalised the walls of a flat we're otherwise not allowed to paint, pin things to, hang things up upon, or anything else the landlord might deem too fun.

I gently removed and rearranged these pictures, hollowing out a space at eye-height for dear Magnus, and, like the Martin Luther of horny Warhammer fanart, pinned my declaration of vengeance to the door.

Still, this didn't quite satisfy me. I knew my flatmate was blind as a bat and would likely not see the idol of revenge, even with it hanging in front of his face. I resolved to make it more obvious.

This is what I came up with.

And, when he lifts up the paper...

And so it was that I waited in anticipation, as the final few hours ticked down to his return...

Gather around, children. Let me tell you of my woes.

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

Woe, nipplehorns McGee be upon ye

#magnus the red #warhammer 40k #wh 40k #thousand sons

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

I grabbed my pencil, sketchbook and subject - the mini shown above of dear Magnus - and set to work. Feverishly, I drew all night.

First the sketch

Then the linework. I got halfway through the lineart before slumber took me, and I was forced to continue the next morning.

And then, finally, the sun broke next dawn. I took up my colouring pencils, which had been laying by the wayside for over a year on my dusty desk, and completed my grim work.

Behold, Sexy Magnus the Red.

And honestly? This came out far better than I had ever hoped. But sexy Clifford the big red Primark was only stage one. Now, I had to present him to my dear flatmate.

Gather around, children. Let me tell you of my woes.

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #warhammer 40k #magnus the red #thousand sons #revenge

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

Now, my flatmate and friend is what one could consider a mostly typical man with mostly typical interests. He is straight, white and cis, which of course predisposes him to be really into Warhammer 40k. He is also, however, a massive nerd with a lot of gay, trans or otherwise queer friends. This predisposes him to specifically be into a certain group in 40k called the Thousand Sons, a faction lead by a giant sad gay nerd named Magnus the Red.

He's also very into Necrons. Perhaps he just likes Ancient Egypt.

I don't know a great deal about Warhammer, but I do know my friend loves the Thousand Sons. He has several minis, most of which are little space marines, though there are a few that are more extravagant. A little horned sorcerer I've been told has a lot of daddy issues (who doesn't in 40k, though?), A huge dragon looking things painted in Thousand Sons colours, and most grandiose of them all, a figure of Magnus himself.

Isn't he just adorable?

I've been stewing in my need for vengeance for some time now, and this week, my flatmate left to visit family. Passing through his room one morning to open the windows, I spotted this specimen on his desk, and a most devious thought crossed my mind.

If he embarrassed me over something I loved, why can't I do the same?

Gather around, children. Let me tell you of my woes.

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

Many months ago, a few weeks after my birthday, my flatmate and former good friend of mine approached me, and announced my birthday present had finally arrived. With a wide grin on his face, he disappeared into his room, and such was the last I saw of him.

Approximately an hour later, I wandered into my room to find a travesty. An assault on the eyes.

I had entrusted my flatmate with the knowledge that I was a fan of the Retro FPS shooter, ULTRAKILL. I adored that game with all my being, as it appealed to all my obsessions, that being robots and angels.

Now, if you, dear reader, have ever heard of such a game, you would likely be aware of the rather... amorous relationship the fandom has with the main antagonist, Gabriel. I have engaged with such admiration from time to time, though I would never go so far as some others have gone.

This is all to add context to the beast I found within my bed. Swaddled in cloth, staring me down, was my nemesis to be.

I cringed so hard I had to leave the room.

Yes, for those not aware, what you're looking at is the official Gabriel ULTRAKILL body pillow.

Oh, how my flatmate cackled. How he giggled with delight at my blush, my shame. I can appreciate a good piece of art when I see it, even when it is suggestive, but something about it's physicality caused me so much embarrassment that he was hidden away in the closet. There he has remained for some time.

Even now, as I look to that pillow's prison, locked behind a shoddily painted, white wardrobe door, I feel something within me. Shame, yes, but something more - something that burns, something that's been building, deep beneath the surface. The fires of hell awakening.

The want, nay, need for revenge.

Gather around, children. Let me tell you of my woes.

[bigbuffboirevengeance]

Gather around, children. Let me tell you of my woes.