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"taken" style action movie where a man searches for his wife. as he fights baddies in gunfights and hand-to-hand combat, it's slowly revealed that:
his wife hasn't been kidnapped
their marriage is not healthy or functional
this guy isn't rescuing his wife, he's hunting her down
his wife is a crime boss, those are her henchpeople he's fighting in a john-wick bloodbath
the tension builds until, drenched in blood, our protagonist steps forward for the final showdown. he pulls a manila envelope from his bullet-torn jacket and throws it at his wife's feet. he's just spent an entire trilogy biting & killing & maiming....all so he can deliver his shit wife her divorce papers
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the primal urge to devour forbidden potato fruit
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interview with a vampire but in therapy session format
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genuinely we need more romantic couples queering up heteronormativity the way these two did. james is half a primadonna (meowth is the other half), he is emotional, embarrassingly sincere, spineless, but also the heart and soul of their little family. jesse is the backbone of the team. she is strong & territorial & protective bc she has to be; she struggles with her insecurities (yes she's a villain but is she too assertive? too demanding? not perfect enough, not worthy of success?). and somehow they are BOTH? all of these things??? they love & support each other. they're both fruity messes. they take turns with the braincell--except 90% of the time when they throw the braincell out the window. james has tits. they role switch. AND they're Weird Catowners. no one did it better
team rocket bisexual power couple
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team rocket bisexual power couple
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*waddles up to u & with great focus and care lovingly places a single shiny pebble at your feet with my beak*
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do i ship these characters or do i want them to form a sketch comedy duo
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"love isn't real it's a chemical reaction" hon i got news for u about chemical reactions and the nature of existence. it's ALL chemicals. existence is literally all just chemicals. "we evolved social bonds to benefit ourselves" so you agree? you agree that social bonds are helpful and important enough that they literally shaped the history of human evolution? i do not think u are saying, what u think u are saying.
zany to me how these um actually nihilists like to pretend that "um actually love/friendship/cooperation/kindness isn't real bc we evolved that way to benefit ourselves as a species..." um YES? that's also where tool use comes from? that's where cooking comes from? am i supposed to think social bonds & tool use & cooking aren't "real" because they evolved over time instead of appearing fully formed from the ether?
sorry u can't enjoy things. im a superior being twirling a fork in my bowl of delicious noodles whilst staring in adoration at the world
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"people with big beds isn't it weird having all that empty space" u don't understand. that's where the ghost sleeps
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i want you all to know that i also hear and acknowledge the many, many responses that said "Robot Fucker Pride Flag"
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what pride flag is this (wrong answers only)
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oh no i've had a Thought
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who needs romance when i can watch two narrative foils painfully tolerate each other's existence? bonus points if they are forced to Work Together To Solve A Problem, and they end up working surprisingly well together! they make a surprisingly effective team! they even confide some backstory with each other & bond a bit & understand each other better. and when it's all over they shake hands & amicably agree that they still cannot fucking stand each other. "this was an interesting sidequest and I'm glad we got to experience it. but all things considered i genuinely never want to see your face again." Enemies to Chained-Up-In-An-Abandoned-Bathroom-Together to Enemies
not "i ship these characters" or "i want them to bond platonically" but a secret 3rd thing (I want them to be forced to interact by the Narrative bc they would HATE that)
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was having a craving for chocolate milk so i went to the grocery store looking for chocolate milk but i couldn't find the chocolate milk so i decide to ask an employee for help finding the chocolate milk but my brain short circuited at a dire moment and instead i blurted out: "where do you keep the CHOCOLATE JUICE?"
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zany to me how these um actually nihilists like to pretend that "um actually love/friendship/cooperation/kindness isn't real bc we evolved that way to benefit ourselves as a species..." um YES? that's also where tool use comes from? that's where cooking comes from? am i supposed to think social bonds & tool use & cooking aren't "real" because they evolved over time instead of appearing fully formed from the ether?
sorry u can't enjoy things. im a superior being twirling a fork in my bowl of delicious noodles whilst staring in adoration at the world
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oh no bro whatdya do to your moral compass character? it's all out of whack.....did u overwhelm it with the inconsistencies and contradictions of the world? aw bro. bro please tell me u didn't expose it to false dichotomies. did u expose it to false dichotomies? bro
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stomach full head empty
cutest thing about human biology is how they get sleepy after eating. sorry brain is offline due to digestion, check back later
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congratulations! you've invented chicken stock
enchanted by the concept of broth. here's some water. it's chicken flavored
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