biggestncthing-blog
NERDY LITTLE SCIENTIST.
independent rp blog for farkle minkus from girl meets world. read the rules pls
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reblog if you’re part of the holy trinity of unrecognized and dismissed sexualities
bisexual, pansexual, and asexual
#X. I THINK THERE'S A FAULT IN MY CODE. (CHARISMS.)#Y UP.#bi af#someone was like 'ur too young to know'#and im like???????????#no bc i've kissed girls#and guys#and i liked both#i am highkey attracted to both#i ???????? am pretty sure i know my own sexuality piss off
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guess who’s back
back again
char is back
tell a friend
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I’M EXCEPTIONALLY PERCEPTIVE.
Y O U ‘ R E B R I L L I A N T.
#X. SAVE ME; I THINK I'M LOSING MY MIND. (SELF PROMO.)#tbh i've been planning to remake a few of my blogs#and this had to be the one i remade first so#come love me if u want idk
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' you look so empty.. please talk to me, i'm worried about you. '
worried starters.
farklestares into space, like he always does these days,not blinking, not moving, just staring at a fixedspot in front of him. there’s not evenanything there – it’s just one of the room walls. there’s nothing interesting about it all. but farkle is lost in the depths of his own mind.some time ago, a strong numbness spread over his body and he hasn’t been able to shake it.nowadays, he only ever feels NUMB.
he hearsriley’s words, and almost feels a jolt of guilt. almost. but the WHISPER of the feeling – POTENTIAL FEELING - is gone within an instant,and there he is again. feeling nothing.
“i’m notworth worrying about.” farkle says simply, eyes colddespite the fact that he’s not looking at riley.he cared about them all once – he’s sure that he still does, somewhere belowall of this coldness. he doesn’t think he’s worth their time anymore.“just leave me alone, riley.” maybe the words are said too harshly,and if farkle had noticed, he would’ve apologized.but he hasn’t noticed his tone’s harsh, bitter nature. “i don’t need anyone’s help. &&nobody needs or wants to help me anyway. i’m not that important.it’s been proved so many times.”
he doesn’tlook at her, but he stands up, eyes still fixed on the wall ahead of him although he’ll soon be looking elsewhere, because he plans to walk away. “go home.”
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#X. OUT OF IDEAS. (OOC.)#X. THIS IS YOUR MASTER SPEAKING. (CHAR POSTS.)#i lowkey remade my hermione from 90000 years ago#oops
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“You could devastate me.”
halsey ‘badlands’ starter sentences
farkle jumps, startled, and whirlsaround to face lucas, face paling slightly as he does so.how did the older boy find him? he’s been avoiding him ever since his…complete change in attitude.farkle’s worried about growing upfor the first time ever.it’s changing him.but the only thing that hasn’t changed are hisfeelings for lucas.but he doesn’t want to blow up at him again.he doesn’t want to hurt him.he takes a step back, almost absently, worried that he might snap again. but he doesn’t.
“haven’t i already done that?”and his voice is so broken and helpless but farkle’sdone feeling sorry for himselfbecause it’s pathetic and stupid and selfish and those are things that farkle really doesn’t want to be.especially when it comes to lucas.
a few moments pass in which farkle says nothing,silence enveloping him along withan undeniable sadnessthat he tries to push away, to no avail.“lucas.” he mumbles. “i don’t know what’s going on with me.i keep getting mad for no reason.i keep saying things that hurt people. it’s…i don’twant to do it,but sometimes things just slip out and i can’t stop them.”he draws in a shaky breath.
“i want nothing more than to be with you,”he continues, his entire bodyerupting into subtle trembles as he bitesdown hard on his bottom lip,still keeping his distance from lucas despite the longing to be close to him.“but i’m not sure who i am anymore.how can someone elselove me and KNOW MEif i don’t know or love – or even like - myself?”
#hcpalcng#V: YOU'RE THE BEST AT MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I MATTER.#X. OTP: I'VE NO RIGHT TO FEEL IT BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T.#F M L
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I’m so much more spineless than you seem to think of me.
.
#X. THE INNER WORKINGS. (MUSINGS.)#X. I HAVE KNOWN SUCH PAIN YET I STILL RISE. (SELF.)#X. I THINK THERE'S A FAULT IN MY CODE. (CHARISMS.)#S C R E AM S
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“yeah, but you’re cooler.
don’t tell her i said that.” he grins
cheekily. he becomes more serious as she
gets him all comfy,
and he finds himself somewhat surprised at how good
she is at this. he feels guilty for being
surprised a few seconds later, but maya’s never really seemed
the type to do such GENTLE, caring things.
not that he’s complaining.
“thanks, maya.”
he says, softly, a light smile gracing his
features, all cheekiness
immediately gone. he pauses to think.
“tea works, thanks.” he laughs. “i’ll have to teach you
to make stuff without burning the entire
kitchen someday.”
“ your mom’s pretty cool so i’m gonna’ take that as a compliment . now move. “
she urges him only to watch him crawl into bed moments later before grabbing a
couple of blankets & covering him up with them . she throws a few pillows here
& there , one of which placed behind his head & voilà . she’s no expert , but his
bed certainly looks more comfortable now .“ there . all warm & cozy .“ she
smiles proudly , straightening her back & placing her hands onto her hips .“ now
— what can i get ya’ ? hot tea ? soup that’s gonna’ come out of a can because
i don’t want to set fire to your kitchen ? “
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“My heart is gold and my hands are cold.”
halsey ‘badlands’ starter sentences
farkle doesn’t know what to say; he realizesthat her words have a deep meaning,but somehow he’s unsure of how to decipher said meaning.hesitation lingering in the air betweenthem, farkle takes a step forward, feeling like it’s the right thing to do. he promptly takes both of her hands in his, eyes never straying from hers as he attempts to pieceJUMBLED WORD FRAGMENTS into a proper, coherentsentence.
“having a heart of gold isn’t so bad, y’know?”farkle says at last. “it’s what makes you YOU, riley. and anyone who says otherwise is JUST STUPID.” he shrugs like it’s the simplest thing in the world, but his eyes are searching her face for any signs of sadness.“riles, if you need me…I’m here for you.you know that, don’t you?”
#ofkindnesss#V: WHAT IS A FARKLE ANYWAY?#[ farkle being crappy at comforting but trying anyway bc riley seems sad ]#[ b Y E ]
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“That’s the beauty of a secret.”
halsey ‘badlands’ starter sentences
and despite everything,RAGE flares up inside of him, flames coursing through his bloodstream,his entire body TREMBLING from the feeling of it all.his eyes fix on lucas, and farkle never realizedhe had this much anger in himself, but here it is, all pouring out and focusing onthe boy in front of him.
are they friends?are they more?are they less?are they WORTH IT?
all the questions have been driving him insane,desperation to know the answers and yet FEAR of those same answers eating away at his insides slowly and yet ALL AT ONCE. is this what love is supposed to feel like?
“lucas.” it comes out inalmost a GROWL, and farkle’s hands are balling into fists and THIS ISN’T HOW HE WANTS THINGS TO GO.“i told you how i feel aboutthis entire thing.” he says, bitterness coating hiswords. “i told you i’m tired of us being…this whole big SECRET. i know i’m the one who said we’d hurtpeople if we were together, but this isthe H A R D E S T thing i’ve ever had to do and maybe i’m being selfishbut i don’t wanna hide this anymore.”
and then irrational thoughts enter farkle’s head andbeforehe knows it, his lips are shaping words thathe doesn’t really mean.“or maybe you’re just ashamed. maybe me sayingi didn’t want to hurt anyone was arelief for you, because being with someone like me would justRUIN your street cred, wouldn’t it?”words are spilling,spitting from his throat like fire,and each and every oneburns his tongue, but he can’t make himself stop.can’t make himself see sense.
when did his kindness melt away into this?
he takes a long time to calm himself,almost shocked at his wordsand actions. widened eyes flicker to lucas, and his heart breaks,because he looks so HURTand farkle can’t help but feel ashamed.he takes a step back.what did he just turn into?
“i…lucas, i’m…”
but the words won’t come out and he hates himselffor being unable to utter an apology for what he just did.the rage bubbling through him seemed to be reloadingand farkle turns away.he can’t do that to lucas again.
“i’m…i have to…”
and he runs,but is he running from lucas or himself?
growing up is changing himand farkle doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it at all.
#hcpalcng#V: YOU'RE THE BEST AT MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I MATTER.#X. OTP: I'VE NO RIGHT TO FEEL IT BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T.#[ I DON' t????????? ]
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@ryofsunshine ( continued from x )
“riley,” he breathes,
like her name is the most DIVINE thing to
ever pass his lips. his eyes study her with an oddly intense
gaze, and he takes a step closer
despite the racing of his heart and the lump
in his throat. “she’s...”
he sighs, trying to figure out the
best way to say this without sounding horrible.
“riley, smackle is nice and all, but...”
he trails off once again.
“i’ve loved you since the first grade.
i never stopped.”
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why didn’t you tell me? ”
concerned meme
farkle keeps his gaze on the ground for a long moment. the cuts and bruises littering his body seem to sting even more nowthat lucas actually KNOWS about them. why didn’t farkle tell him that he was being bullied? beaten up?simple answer: because he couldn’t. he couldn’t risk it.he didn’t want lucas to get hurt whilst trying to protect him.but aside from that, there’s also a part of farkle that hates himselffor being unable to stand up for himself.he hates himself for being weak.and maybe he didn’t want lucas to think him weak.
“lucas,” farkle lets out, his voice shaking slightly as he does so.“i…i didn’t want you to get involved. they would’ve hurt youand I didn’t want that to happen. okay?” but he still won’t meet the other’seyes because if he does, lucas will see that farkle’s eyes are wet with tears and call him stupidbut he really doesn’t want to cry in frontof his best friend.but it looks like his body has other plans,because suddenly tears are spilling down his cheeks and heseems to fold into himself slightly,wanting to be swallowed up by the ground && FORGOTTEN ABOUT.
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worried starters
trigger warnings apply!
( mental illness, drugs and alcohol use, self-destructive behaviours, and vomiting )
“You haven’t slept for days, have you?”
“Are you eating properly? You don’t look it.”
“Why do you keep stumbling over your words? Just how tired are you?”
“You need to think about yourself every once in a while.”
“I know your work is important, but you’re going to end up in hospital if you go on like this!”
“You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
“You look so… empty. I’m worried for you, please talk to me.”
“Are you alright in there? You’re so quiet.”
“How did you get these bruises? Please don’t lie to me.”
“There’s something bothering you that you’re not telling me and I can see it slowly destroying you. What happened?”
“You’re sleep deprived and you haven’t been eating. Why do you think you’re feeling dizzy?”
“I can give you some pills to help you sleep. They aren’t healthy, but this is even less healthy.”
“If you didn’t just blink I would’ve sworn you were dead, that’s how sickly you’re looking. Go to bed, please!”
“Have you drank all of these bottles in one weekend?!”
“I know you don’t want this, but it’s for your own good. Sign the papers so they can pick you up tomorrow and you can get clean.”
“What the hell are you doing?! Did you do that to yourself?!”
“When was the last time you left the house? Or opened the curtains for that matter.”
“Here, just keep breathing. It’ll be okay. Better out than in…”
“This can’t go on like this! You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping, you barely talk!”
“I’m sorry. I went through your room and found this. Explain what the hell this is doing in your room!”
“I thought you’d quit! How long have you been lying to me?”
“I’m only trying to help and right now I think I have a much better idea of what you need than you do.”
“Did you take anything? Why are you passing out? Hey! Stay with me!”
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concerned meme
“ are you okay? ”
“ you don’t look so good ”
“ sit down, you look faint ”
“ have you eaten today? ”
“ please, just rest for a minute please ”
“ i’m worried about you ”
“ what the hell happened? ”
“ did someone do this to you? ”
“ what’s wrong? ”
“ how long has this been going on? ”
“ why didn’t you tell me? ”
“ i can’t not care about you ”
“ don’t tell me you’re fine. this is not fine ”
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riarkle au in which in their first kiss farkle asks if he can kiss her
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