bigkidoyouknow

[bigkidoyouknow]

“Young children have no neurological adaption to be able to see their primary caregivers as an enemy or a threat. Seeing a caregiver or your parent as an threat to your survival, goes against every evolutionary instinct that is instilled in a child’s brain. As children, our natural survival instincts mean that we rely on our caregivers to keep us safe in order to survive. There is no neurological adaption in the brain to see anything otherwise. This is how we’ve learned to survive. This is how our human society has come this far, we relied on being social creatures. We rely on being raised in a hierarchy where the eldest keep the youngest safe, or the strongest keep the youngest safe. Therefore, the child has to internalize their trauma. As very young children, we’re not able to see these caregivers as bad, because it goes against everything their brain says, ‘I need to survive’. So, as they can’t see the person who’s hurting them as bad, they have to turn it inwards. 'Something’s wrong with me. They’re right, I’m wrong, I’m a bad person, I don’t deserve to be loved.’ This is how we evolved to stay safe, even when our most basic mechanism are failing.”

— DissociaDiD

[bigkidoyouknow]

hey y’all wanna talk about a lesser talked about trauma effect?

loss of autonomy.

not knowing how to do anything without explicit permission or instruction.

feeling like you’ll get in trouble if you do anything on your own will.

waiting until you’re given permission to do so much as eat.

not feeling like your body is your own.

if you experience this you aren’t broken or alone. you were abused and traumatized and conditioned to be like this. remember you belong to nobody but yourself. you are and will be okay.

[bigkidoyouknow]

Hi!

I am Ella, previous owner of these blogs, @detetue @beloveddarknes @bigkidoyouknow which are inactive from today. All themes of these blogs will be on this blog:

books - classics and YA mostly

Libraries, Galleries, Art, old stuff

history

metal music - Rammstein, trash metal bands, and many more

physical and mental health - ableism, cerebral palsy, trauma related stuff (It can be triggering for some people, I am aware of that. I will do my best to post TW's)

k!nks - WHICH MEANS THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR MINORS, I am also no way responsible if minor follows me - YOU WERE WARNED!)

I hope you will be enjoying this blog as much as I do.

[bigkidoyouknow]

Here is a post I have up on my Instagram (also nikkilanecreates) I’ve been spending a lot of time learning about the connections between stress responses and ND brains.

[bigkidoyouknow]

[bigkidoyouknow]

Let disabled people own our sexuality!

Let us openly discuss sex without people acting like it’s taboo!

Stop treating us like sexless children!

Stop saying that all or most autistics are asexual!

Let poeple express attraction to a disabled person without them being labeled as weird or kinky.

Stop asking disabled people how or if they have sex

Stop inforcing the idea that disabled bodies and minds are gross and childish!

And very importantly, let disabled people desided their sexual identity. Let them explore thier kinks and preferences and lack there of! Let disabled people be gay, aspec, mspec, ect. We have the power and dignity to do that, we do not need permission or people telling us what THEY think we should like.

Also, I wanna make it clear that I’m not saying disabled people shouldn’t be asexual(that’s what I ment by aspec) or have low sex drive. What I’m saying is that some disabled people arnt asexual and do have a moderate or high sex drive and that’s okay.

[bigkidoyouknow]

[bigkidoyouknow]

breaking: bottling all your feelings up and letting them stew and boil actually isn't a mark of strength

[ID: a 4-page comic in illuminated manuscript style. /1: Text: "O, to be strong as the lion" Panel depicts the lion rampant, a heraldry symbol of a lion rearing up and roaring. /2: Text: "who suffers his pain /without a single complaint." Panel depicts the peasant character standing to imitate the rampant lion pose, looking unimpressive but determined. /3: They continue the pose, but they look worried as they start shaking and sweating. /4: They lean forward, dejected, with tears in their eyes. Text: "wauUGh /But it HURTS though!" /ID]

[bigkidoyouknow]

What if, and hear me out, people DO love you

Your coworker who loves when they get to work a shift with you, even if you don’t talk

Your cousin who’s relieved when they see you at family gatherings, who thinks you’re “the cool cousin” but hasn’t said anything out loud

Your classmate who thinks you have great taste, even if they’re too shy to speak up about it in class

Your childhood friends who remember you fondly

The waiter you tipped during a busy night

That person you complimented on the street

The little kid you waved to

The old woman you made small talk with

People love you, because you’re lovable. And you’re worthy of love. Even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes

(Self depreciating comments will be removed at best, bluntly and remorselessly told to shut the fuck up at worst. Fuck around. I dare you.)

[bigkidoyouknow]

"My child is completely fine" Your child talks to their comfort characters and acts out scenarios with them but also worries that they're insane for pretending to be friends with non existent people, however, it's their only somewhat healthy coping mechanism that is not self destructive so they compulsively use it as an escapism technique, while feeling horribly guilty and crazy because if they ever told anyone that they still basically have imaginary friends they'd probably be laughed at so instead they unload all their struggles on the characters they talk to and end up even telling them about this bad habit of excessively daydreaming and playing pretend so that they eventually create an inception of escapism because now they realise that they are talking about the crazy coping mechanism while practicing said coping mechanism and eventually have to explain to the character that THEY are the escapism because "oh shit, I'm doing it right now because I'm talking to you!"

[bigkidoyouknow]

No truer words ever spoken

[bigkidoyouknow]

Mobility aids and sensory aids aren’t a “worst case scenario”

Stop acting like it’s a tragedy when someone starts using a cane or wheelchair, and stop acting like it’s someone admitting defeat if they need ear defenders or stim toys.

Aids are a good thing. They allow us to live better than we could before, and that’s something to celebrate, not demean and be doom and gloom about.

[bigkidoyouknow]

#trauma #csa #cocsa

[bigkidoyouknow]

I think I've got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them.

Simple Plan - I'm just a kid

[bigkidoyouknow]

Identifying your own toxic traits and unlearning them >>>

[bigkidoyouknow]

I just realized that my trauma happened much more early in life than I thought, and it scared the shit out of me. I have no memory of majority of my childhood and early teenage-hood anymore and years just blends together...

#trauma #maybe trauma

[bigkidoyouknow]

I WANT TO MAKE BAD CHOICES. I WANT TO MAKE MY LIFE WORSE.