britishwit

[britishwit]

trealwhenitsuseful

Bruce didn’t bother to make his presence known, assuming John had noticed him the moment he walked into the establishment and would proceed to try and ignore him for as long as he could, even if he spoke. Instead, the detective chose to take the seat across from the other in silence, brown eyes fixed on the blond while he waited for the little game to come to an end. “If I needed either of those, I’d go to someone with a better success rate.” Bruce kept staring at John, an emotionless expression on his face. “Job hunting, or reading the comic strips?”

an amused smirk appeared on john’s face. he had forgotten how much fun his favourite broody vigilante could be. that’s how busy he had been recently. mostly with bloody demons. “in my defence, the last person i went out with lost his soul and got dragged to hell only because he failed to listen to my advice. i still feel sorry for his poor daughters.” john admitted, his arms crossed. “and, well, a little bit of both but don’t tell anyone, mate.” he said nonchalantly.  “or i’ll have to hypnotize you to forget about this. not even zatanna could undo that.” that was another lie. 

#001 // realwhenitsuseful #// don't tempt him my friend #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[britishwit]

emeraldarrws

Oliver knew that running into John Constantine was never a good sign. For a moment, the archer considered asking him why he was needed in Gotham, but then decided against it, realizing that the answer would probably make him lose sleep. ( Sometimes knowledge wasn’t power. ) Oliver ignored Constantine’s snarky behavior and folded his arms against his chest. “I’m surprised to see you here. I thought you’d have ran off to an alternative reality or something like that.”

in all honesty, john had considered leaving. the only problem was that he needed the house of mystery to do so, and at the moment, the said magical house belonged to zatanna who wanted nothing to do with john. in other words, john was stuck. unless he wanted to go to hell.  “me? running off? when things have finally gotten interesting in gotham? not a chance, mate.”  the occult detective gave the hero an amused look. “and who knows, maybe batman isn't innocent after all.” he teased the other man.

#001 // emeraldarrws

[britishwit]

john quirked an eyebrow at the boy. “well, have you considered quitting? i mean, they do say that school isn’t for everyone.” he joked and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. 

“I’m trying my hardest to enjoy myself here but I’m pretty sure school has left me unable to enjoy pretty much anything anymore”

#001 // jnsknt #// ... don't take advice from him jon #just don't

[britishwit]

                             I ωιsh yσu the best                                                                                           ( I hαte yσu, I guess )                                               'Cαuse I knσω thαt yσu deserve                                                                better thαn                                                                     m e

#❇ — musings. #❇ — queue.

[britishwit]

favorite comic character meme: [1/1] favorite character, john constantine. “john constantine, you have been found guilty of first degree cold hearted bastardy.” 

#❇ – mirror.

[britishwit]

john had not bought a ticket to her show. instead, he had hypnotized kindly persuaded the doorman to let him in. he hadn’t even bought her roses. perhaps he should have, considering that his request was not going to make her happy. then again, john knew that no matter what he did, she was never going to love - or even like - him again. no, not after what he had done to her father. his hands in the pockets of his trench, john stood in the backstage corridor, waiting for her to come out of her dressing room. when he heard the door creak, he spun around and put on his best fake smile. “evening, zee. i loved the new show.” john crossed his arms. “listen, i need the house of mystery back.”  [ @gnitanicsafmi ] 

#001 // gnitanicsafmi #❇-–-queue.

[britishwit]

#❇ – mirror.

[britishwit]

Just like everything, This is rock star Johnny’s fault. 

Constantine in Justice League Dark (2017)

#❇ — musings. #❇ — queue.

[britishwit]

john finally looked up from his newspaper and raised an expectant eyebrow at the other person. “if you’re here for an exorcism or if you just want me to tell a demon to stop bugging you, i’m sorry but that’s not going to happen today.” he said as he turned the page of his newspaper. “i’m a little bit busy at the moment, you see.” that was a blatant lie. 

#gchq:open #// idk what this is but feel free to assume any connections?

[britishwit]

In all honesty, John couldn’t care less. He had done worse things. Much, much worse things. “I saw enough, mate.” He said in an amused tone as began to follow the other man, his hands in the pockets of his trench. “So, how much are you willing to pay for my silence?” He half-joked, quirking a teasing eyebrow. “The X-Men get paid well, right?” 

“I don’t know how much of dat you saw, but de explosion definitely wasn’t me.” Remy grins of course, which is enough to tell the other that he was kidding. He knows that it was his fault, it was self-defense at the time though. “What d’ya say we blow dis joint?” He motions for them to leave the scene, and his feet already starting to head that way.

#001 // whtdevil

[britishwit]

It’s okay to say you’ve got a weak spot You don’t always have to be on top Better to be hated than loved, loved, loved for what you’re not You’re vulnerable, you’re vulnerable You are not a robot You’re lovable, you’re lovable You’re just troubled

#❇ – music. #❇ – queue.

[britishwit]

john sips the worst coffee he’s ever bought and gives the younger man an amused look. “i have no idea because i don’t have children or pets, mate,” he says in an amused tone, leans back in the bench and shakes his head at the thought. john hasn’t slept well in two days and he knows that it shows on his face. oh well, he can always blame on it a demon. john knows plenty of those. the occult detective sips his bitter coffee again, glances at the cheerful-looking girl before raising an eyebrow.  “she is yours, right?”

It’s not every day your four year old daughter insists on taking your cat out for a walk, but Lian was never exactly your average four year old. Which is why Roy finds himself in the middle of a park with their cat settled happily in the carrier on his back, leash held loosely in his hand as he watches Lian runs around and plays with the fallen leaves on the ground. “I wish I could say this wasn’t what it looks like, but… it’s probably exactly what it looks like.” He says with a soft chuckle, though there’s no wiping the fond smile off his face as he watches his daughter play.

#001 // rcdarscnal #ft. rcdarscnal

[britishwit]

superwcman

“you know what,” lois sighed taking off her jacket and placing it over the back of the chair. “maybe people in gotham would be happier if it wasn’t for all the damn rain,” it had been a long day conducting interviews and she had gotten far damper than she would have liked. she had traveled all over the world and yet she had come across no other place that had the same character as gotham. maybe she was just bias and a little homesick but in metropolis at least they had sunshine every so often. “tell me you’ve had a better day,”

her comment made constantine snort. “well, at least you’re not in london, love,” john chuckled as he slicked back his wet hair and reached in the pocket of his trench, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. “my day has been bloody marvelous. i love dealing the self-righteous yoga pants club. in fact, they make me so happy that i am going to kiss batman as soon as i find him.” john put a cigarette between his lips... and then realized that he had forgotten his lighter. of course. he sighed and quirked an eyebrow at the reporter. “let me guess, you've spent your day interviewing them?”

#001 // superwcman #ft. superwcman #cigarettes tw

[britishwit]

John Constantine by Yasmine Putri

#❇ – mirror. #❇ – zatanna tag. #smoking tw #cigarettes tw

[britishwit]

[ DAN STEVENS, HE/HIM, 39 ] JOHN CONSTANTINE has been spotted in gotham city! the ANTI HERO is publicly known as HELLBLAZER, and have often been described as WITTY, but also CYNICAL. they have also been affiliated with JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK, and said to mainly operate in LONDON. will they help find answers, or add to the chaos? [ juliet, she/her, 20, gmt+1]

hello friends!! 

❇ john constantine is the worst british street wizard you will ever meet. 

❇ he is an occult detective slash con artist slash sorcerer whose hobbies include being a chain-smoking bisexual mess, making fun of justice league, gambling with demons every friday, making out with a different set of demons every saturday and letting everyone he loves down.

❇ he has a tragic backstory quelle surprise. john grew a strong interest in magic as a young boy. he began experimenting with magic...  and not much later he stumbled upon a powerful spell which he highly regrets casting to this day. john did not know that the said spell (which promised to make him a powerful magician) required a sacrifice. john’s childhood house was caught on fire and he lost his entire family. . 

❇  on a much lighter note, john used to be the leader singer of a mystical-themed punk band as a young adult. he also studied magic both in europe and in america.

❇  he is a skilled sorcerer who rarely uses his magical abilities. instead, he prefers to cheat his way out of tricky situations and his cunning nature has saved him multiple times. 

❇  his often questionable methods have gained him a bad reputation in the magical community. both demons and other magicians hate him.... and so super heroes. and  so does constantine. :-( 

❇  however, deep down, john is a compassionate person who does care about others. in fact, he cares too much and masks it by acting like a piece of crap. mostly because everyone he meets ends up getting hurt in one way or another. thanks to his incredibly bad luck (trust me u don’t want me to elaborate), john is personally responsible for many, many tragic losses. 

❇  he used to be the unofficial leader of the emo version of the justice league aka justice league dark....  but then, unsurprisingly, john ruined everything. 

if you’d like to plot with me pls don’t hesitate to hmu! 

#death tw #smoking tw #gchq:intro

[britishwit]

#❇ — musings.