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bublebabi · 4 years

Text

stupid story //

written by bublebabi

chptr 1

From sophomore to junior year, I couldn’t believe the position that I was in. Body image issues, no friends, but an incredibly hot boyfriend that fucks out my brains. Seeing how the opportunity presented itself, my options seemed to be between dropping a long-term toxic friendship or gettin’ ahold of a six-pack and a tight ass. I’d like to make my deposition to the jury and conclude, the choice was pretty fucking evident.

Shaking the chatter out of my head, I focused on the task at hand. Preparing myself for the teenage bullshit I was about to endure at this shit show people call an ‘education’. Staring up at the small building in front of me, I convinced myself that I was capable of not smacking a bitch. Repositioning my overloaded bookbag and making my way into the beige and maroon colored building, soon realizing that I’ve been hit with the smell of freshmen body odor. Shoving my way through the crowded stairwell, climbing up the overly tall stairs, I made my way to the top to be met with a tiny hallway filled with even more smelly children. Attempting to spark the sheer pure will to get to my class, I created a cheerleader chant,

“Liliac, liliac, she’s our gal! She won’t decapitate a small child!”

Feeling motivated I, again, body slam into as many gross teenagers as I can until I reach my - you guessed it, an entirely too small of a cramped classroom. Finding an empty table, I loudly plop down my bookbag and sit myself down. The awkwardness has set in, being sat alone in a crowded classroom is actually quite depressing. Quickly the anxiety and paranoia slapped me across the face, shoving unwanted and embarrassing scenarios into my head.

Deciding that it would be best for me, and my mental health. I did the mature thing grabbed my books, and unnoticably try to ditch class. Seeing the wide open door to freedom, taking my last step almost out of the class, I run into my English teacher dropping the heaviest book onto my foot. “Good morning Ms.Liliac, good to see you, why don’t you go and take a seat for today’s lesson?” Mr.Martinez said clearly being fully aware of the antics I was trying to pull. “Mhm, yup, sounds great.” I said while changing course back to the sad and desperate scene of me alone at an empty table in a classroom filled with bitchy teenagers.

Fortunately Beatrice came in right after me sitting at the empty seat of what used to be the chair of death I sat upon that stirred and prodded at my panic attacks. Beatrice... ugh she’s a bit of a messy one. We have a confusing friendship with a bad history let’s just leave it at that. There’s this unspoken agreement that we’d both be each other’s ‘friend’ since there isn’t a grand variety at this shitty small school anyway.

Taking a seat upon the death chair next to Beatrice, feeling my foot throb from the heavy set book that basically physically harassed it, getting myself mentally prepared for the mind fucking that will be acted upon my teacher and fellow peers.

Mr.Martinez began his lesson with a simple prompt that I don’t care to mention since I don’t pay attention in class,

“So how’s Brody?” Beatrice asked making polite small talk. Feeling some type of way about her asking about my current relationship I responded with, “Oh, Brody? Yeah he’s fine. We’ve just been hanging out at the house, tanning a lot, fucking a ton, y’know the usual.” Unashamed of my crudeness, Beatrice thankfully having a sense of humor laughed. “Well that’s great I guess, uh so how’s the whole Jess situation been?” Okay, okay. I may have understated how close and I Beatrice have been currently, we did hangout a few times over summer and she is aware of how I stole Brody from Jess, my used to be best friend of five years.

“Ugh for fucks sake, it’s so stupid. I mean, like - Brody even told me that they did talk for a little bit but that’s it. All they did was talk. I mean, it’s not like I dropped Jess as a friend just to be with Brody. Jess was like making a lot of body shaming comments about how I looked and I was not here for it. Like seriously, I wasn’t even friends with her anymore then that’s when I started talking to Brody. Like be honest Beatrice, is what I did really that wrong?”

Basically piling my feelings onto Beatrice, she nodded understandably going onto say “To be completely honest the most that you did do was a bit shady but taking into consideration that Jess was being a bit of a bi-otch I think it was kinda deserved at the same time... I mean - I mean I don’t know really. Like you said it’s pretty stupid.” Exasperatingly thanking her for her honest opinion I went back to do the prompt that nobody cares about and before I knew it, first period ended and second period began.

#writing

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bublebabi · 4 years

Text

stupid story //

written by bublebabi

Prologue

Her mind swirled with cruel and nasty words. Feeling irritated that she was in her own skin. Hating that she kept giving and couldn’t stop, but craving the feeling of being useful relating that to ‘love’. She made up stories in her head to get out her situation. Screwing over the bullies and fakes that once screwed her over. Getting the guy that everyone wanted but only wanted her. Later to find out he’d cry over her being bi. Feigning being loved and confident when it was all a ruse to get her out of her own mind. She felt like with each passing breath it was a waste of life. That she was only created to serve but never to be served. To love but never to be loved. Her mind was what kept her sane. The talent she held was patience and hope for a better way. Waiting and planning, rewriting and scheduling. Feeling her internal clock tik away until she could get away. They brought her life but to only take it away. It’s not, “oh my god my parents are a pain.”

It’s, “oh my god my parents only bring me this pain.” Instilled with the motherly nature to only want to nurture and care for, when her own mother created her that way so mother wouldn’t have to nurture and care for. Finally after struggling and making mistakes she reaches 17 to only meet a man who was made after the ones that only brought her pain. Slithering and deceptive hiding his true nature, to only be revealed to the dumb young fawn who only wanted to be cared for. Wrappings his coils around the fawn, hearing be patient it takes time, feeling the slited tongue tickle her senses ramming his way into her mind, slowly but surely taking her life. Mercilessly and filled with cruelty crushing his victim with the strength of the demon beelzebub, laughing as blood flows through her eyes, ears and mouth. From that blood something dark arose, he didn’t know what he was doing when he had taken the purity and potentiality of the young dumb fawn.

Pathetic and squirming to get out of her range but he must now face the consequences of bringing Lilith aflame. “You belong to me now, feel my wrath and my pain.” Stupid reptile thinking he had his way. Knowing that he could’ve avoided this if he would’ve just gotten out of his own way. Learned to love, not gain. This story is about heartbreaks, and pain. About my mistakes, wishing I could’ve done something differently. How the young dumb fawn forcibly changed into Lilith when all she wanted to do was escape. Self-hatred surrounds her almost like water droplets on a window pane.

#writing

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