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burglarofbagend · 3 days
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I don't fuck w nerds, the moment I can smell lore correction coming I'm like "Oh Neptune" and I gotta call my mom and ask her to pick me up
If I'm like "I really liked the scene where Gandalf learns the truth about the Ring in the first movie" and someone's like "Oh you mean when he was in Minas Tirith, originally known as Minas Anor when it was first built in the Third Age?" I am pulling the nearest fire alarm
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burglarofbagend · 3 days
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"Frodo shoud've been at the club" And he was.
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burglarofbagend · 4 days
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burglarofbagend · 5 days
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the besties three drinks before ruining aragorn's wedding
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burglarofbagend · 16 days
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Original post by @penny-anna​
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burglarofbagend · 16 days
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Wait a minute if elves take a hundred years to grow up that has some weird implications.
So… if we say a human comes of age in fantasy worlds at 16, that means it takes an elf 6.25 years to age one human year. If we say the age of maturity is 18 that’s 5.55 years.
So then… okay with people that live a long time have to see their human friends die and probably see them like pets yeah that’s been explored to death. But what about a human just seeing their friend not grow up?
An elf toddler and a human toddler become friends at a playdate. At the time the human is two and the elf is 13. Emotionally the elf is just a little older than the human. But then the human grows up. He grows up and as he grows up his friend doesn’t. Not much, anyways.
She’s still sucking her thumb and throwing tantrums the entire time that he grows up. When he reaches the age where he’d choose a trade or go to an academy he’s earning extra money by babysitting her. During his initiation into adulthood on his 18th birthday she’s there with her parents holding a stuffed animal. Later that afternoon he sees her being shown some colorful flashcards with letters of the elvish alphabet on it by her father.
The human gets older. He learns how to fight, he goes from town to town getting work. At some point he joins the army. Every time he visits his hometown he has at least one more scar and by the time he’s 30 and the elf girl is mentally seven by human standards she starts to understand that something is wrong. Even after he settles down to be a home maker for the local blacksmith something feels wrong.
And she watches him grow old. When she’s in her 80s she babysits his grandchildren for extra cash after school, coming over in her school robes and ruffling his hair. She doesn’t remember why she became friends with this human or when but a strange sense of jealousy fills her heart.
Now she realizes it. She realizes it too late, on the day her friend learns that he is dying. The first day of her 100th year and the start of his last. Humans’ lifetimes may only last for the childhood of an elf if they’re lucky, but they learn so fast. They do so much. They cram their days full of love and hate and learning and wonder.
He knew this was coming. He knew all of this decades before she did, because elves are slow. Not stupid, certainly not stupid, but very very slow. She holds her old friend’s hand as he lays down on his bed. A man that has led such an ordinary life but feels so extraordinary to her. Because he has always, always been there and now he just won’t. Because in her eyes he became so wise so fast and now he’s just gonna be gone.
On an elf’s 100th birthday they are allowed to choose a new name for themselves. It can be important, or not. Usually it will follow them until the end of time. She stands in front of her family’s elders and is asked what name she will be called from now on.
She names herself after him.
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burglarofbagend · 19 days
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i don’t really care for lord of the rings all that much but bombadil civil war still makes me lose my mind
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burglarofbagend · 20 days
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gotta say the new discourse about chilchuck being sexualized has to be some of the goofiest on this site as of late. that is an adult man who behaves like an adult man
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burglarofbagend · 20 days
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change my pronouns to he/hmmmm because I am a deeply introspective individual
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burglarofbagend · 20 days
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My favorite character is The Fox Who Never Found Out Any More About It, but he's not in the movies.😩
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burglarofbagend · 20 days
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burglarofbagend · 20 days
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Tonight, we remember one who lent his enormous talent to telling the story we have all come to love. Hail, the victorious dead!
May the Simbelmynë cover his tomb as it did the tomb of the one he so accurately portrayed.
Bernard Hill Dec 17, 1944 - May 5, 2024
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burglarofbagend · 20 days
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It blows my mind that by giving the mithril shirt to Bilbo, Thorin indirectly saved Frodo and thus prevented the Ring-bearer from dying and the Quest from failing. The world was ultimately saved because the exiled King Under the Mountain fell in love with a hobbit.
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burglarofbagend · 20 days
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headcannon that butterflies absolutely love Aragorn like to the point it’s annoying for the rest of the Fellowship. they land on his tired shoulders and flutter around him all day, resting on his age stained hands and giving him a reason to smile on the journey to Rivendell, Gondor, and beyond. the rest of the Fellowship is jealous as hell. yes he talks to the butterflies obviously. i have zero evidence for this i just feel it in my heart
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burglarofbagend · 21 days
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burglarofbagend · 22 days
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The Battle of the five Armies countdown - day 21 of 30
Bonus: 
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burglarofbagend · 1 month
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why didn’t gandalf just carry the ring to mordor himself with these tongs
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