cardiamachina

[cardiamachina]

100 Days of Moving On, Day 1 to 10 | twitter, IG

#little boost!

[cardiamachina]

100 Days of Moving On, Day 1 to 10 | twitter, IG

#My Poetry #100 Days of Moving On #Nikka Ursula #OhmNanon

[cardiamachina]

We were once so beautiful under the light; did you see the colors we used to spill onto the walls?   But broken glass is never the same, and there are shards of us in between floorboards that we can never recover. My fingers bleed as I pick at the floor. I don't know why I'm doing this either.

100 Days of Moving On, Day 1 | twitter, IG

#100 days of moving on #My Poetry

[cardiamachina]

my god is this thing even on???

hello, you, who's still hanging around in this almost defunct page! sometimes i come around here after sighting a poem of mine out in the wild of twitter or facebook to see how my little poetry children are doing and i realize i never really expounded on where i went, which is my bad, lmao

well, to start, i am now a nurse in the intensive care unit! i looked back into my archives and realized that when i started writing poetry in this account, i was a NURSING STUDENT eleven years ago! life had expectedly lifed very hard, nursing as a baby nurse was hard, i took the icu course, and then we had that cursed thing happen 2020 ish. my brain chemistry changed a lot, and honestly so did the things i've been writing.

during the time i was away from this account, i was quite focused on long form fanfics. i wrote poetry here and there, but as you guys know with me, i write for people i love. i wrote space-related poetry for deancas, and wrote seventy years of sleep for stevebucky. which still blows my mind what kind of journey soft epilogue ended up embarking???? i leave and then i come back to all that - it was unreal, and thanks for that!

if you're wondering where i am nowadays, i'm kind of all over. i'm on twitter (@NikkaUrsula) and IG (@nikkaursula) for poetry stuff and my fandom twitter i'm gonna hide because i will simply embarrass myself lmao! yes, i am still writing poetry, and it's again about characters i love and people that make me feel things, so i guess i'm no different that where you found me eleven years ago.

i'll be in and out of this page cleaning some stuff up, and maybe updating the format so it's easier for you to read things when you find yourself wandering around my poetry tag. i may post some of my new stuff here too, if anyone's interested in all that.

before i go, i just want to say thanks for listening to what i have to say not only today, but yesterday, a month, a year, a decade ago. i have been writing for a long time, these little feelings that cocoon themselves into little words that escape me. they've traveled a long way to perch on your shoulder, my little monarch butterflies. now they're yours, too.

see you around,

nhixxie/nikka ursula

#seventy years of sleep #nikka ursula #poetry

[cardiamachina]

Love, Time stops, doesn’t it? Are we not testaments to this? Two old, misplaced souls, Asleep for seventy years? So close your eyes, love. Maybe seconds can be minutes and minutes can be hours and hours can be unending eternities Where I don’t have to open my eyes To a reality without you. So, let’s sleep. Let the world go to hell. For we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people, and we’ve suffered enough.

We Sleep, and Maybe We’ll Wake Up. Listen. Seventy Years of Sleep, nikka ursula, others, support my work by helping me grow my IG following here!

#bringing it around town

[cardiamachina]

Love, Time stops, doesn't it? Are we not testaments to this? Two old, misplaced souls, Asleep for seventy years? So close your eyes, love. Maybe seconds can be minutes and minutes can be hours and hours can be unending eternities Where I don't have to open my eyes To a reality without you. So, let's sleep. Let the world go to hell. For we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people, and we've suffered enough.

We Sleep, and Maybe We’ll Wake Up. Listen. Seventy Years of Sleep, nikka ursula, others, support my work by helping me grow my IG following here!

#stucky #stevebucky #Seventy Years of Sleep #My Poetry #i sob as i write this

[cardiamachina]

i didn't expect so many replies to this, and im going through all of them, thank you for sharing your words! kind of feel hollow still and saddened to know that others feel the same way, but i will try to come back to steve and bucky. i'll write more if anything and maybe not try to stifle my feelings for them because of my own bitterness, lmao. <3

can you tell me about your feelings towards stucky endgame??? like has it fucked up your feelings big time that they wrote steve to leave bucky? how have you been coping with it?? like what are your head canons to make your heart hurt a little less?? it’s really fucking up my ability to write for stucky which is sad because i feel so strongly for them and i don’t want 70 years of sleep to die tbh

[cardiamachina]

i totally agree. it was a lurch to the wrong direction and i felt snatched off the path that the older movies were trying to pave with steve's characterizations. in summarry, CAWS steve rogers will be the pinnacle of steve rogers characterization and imma stay there.

can you tell me about your feelings towards stucky endgame??? like has it fucked up your feelings big time that they wrote steve to leave bucky? how have you been coping with it?? like what are your head canons to make your heart hurt a little less?? it’s really fucking up my ability to write for stucky which is sad because i feel so strongly for them and i don’t want 70 years of sleep to die tbh

[cardiamachina]

im gld im not alone. i literally wrenched myself away from writing anything remotely close to steve and bucky after end game. i was broken hearted, and a lot of what made me love the two of them kind of crumbled at the pith with the events that transpired in that movie. but i like the headcanons you've mentioned, specilly 2012 steve knowing about bucky. maybe my steve and bucky can just exist in little capsules of time and i'll maybe learn to forget about everything else. i will join you in delusion, thank you!!

can you tell me about your feelings towards stucky endgame??? like has it fucked up your feelings big time that they wrote steve to leave bucky? how have you been coping with it?? like what are your head canons to make your heart hurt a little less?? it’s really fucking up my ability to write for stucky which is sad because i feel so strongly for them and i don’t want 70 years of sleep to die tbh

[cardiamachina]

can you tell me about your feelings towards stucky endgame??? like has it fucked up your feelings big time that they wrote steve to leave bucky? how have you been coping with it?? like what are your head canons to make your heart hurt a little less?? it’s really fucking up my ability to write for stucky which is sad because i feel so strongly for them and i don’t want 70 years of sleep to die tbh

#stucky #stevebucky

[cardiamachina]

I’d like to know how you and I existed in two planes that never intersected, and yet here we are, irrevocably, immovably together. How did I look at the world, seeing faces but not memorizing, not knowing yours will inevitably be beheld by my eyes? How did I feel the sun across my skin, not knowing I could have been feeling the movement of your fingertips instead? How did I draw my breaths not knowing in a faraway place, your lungs did the same? How can I have been so lonely, yet not recognize it? What magic the universe has exerted to have our planes cross, finally. We have much to look forward to.

Soulmates, nikka ursula, others, support my work by helping me grow my IG following here! (via cardiamachina)

#bringing it around town!

[cardiamachina]

I'd like to know how you and I existed in two planes that never intersected, and yet here we are, irrevocably, immovably together. How did I look at the world, seeing faces but not memorizing, not knowing yours will inevitably be beheld by my eyes? How did I feel the sun across my skin, not knowing I could have been feeling the movement of your fingertips instead? How did I draw my breaths not knowing in a faraway place, your lungs did the same? How can I have been so lonely, yet not recognize it? What magic the universe has exerted to have our planes cross, finally. We have much to look forward to.

Soulmates, nikka ursula, others, support my work by helping me grow my IG following here!

#My Poetry #OTP: Malec #Malec #this is a brain dump of my feelings towards magnus and alec #is it poetry or just cathartic release of pent up feelings?? #were here to find out!!

[cardiamachina]

#Beautiful Things

[cardiamachina]

#Nature #Beautiful Things

[cardiamachina]

Different anon from the one before but I agree with them, I actually wrote a song around your line “we deserve a soft epilogue, my love” ☺️

pls let me hear it!!

[cardiamachina]

are you still at all active on this account?

vaguely! i am more active on my IG nikkaursula but i do plan to post some of my works from there here :)

[cardiamachina]

cant wait for your poem about the damn ending in endgame 🥺

to write a poem i must have valid thoughts about stucky endgame but to me stucky endgame is nothing but a vague dream because my steve would never leave bucky to go back to the past and live a life of bliss where he conveniently forgets that past bucky is still getting tortured by hydra??? so thats where i am in MY truth