casualartisanninja

[casualartisanninja]

Loose ends

I’d like to end this post by addressing a few other accusations and issues.

1- Troll accounts

The first thing I want to talk about is the troll accounts on Tumblr that use my usernames. This is just completely unnecessary. It’s entirely designed to make me look bad, and their posts consist entirely of insults, mocking things like my art style and fetish, and at one point even saying that they’d kill themselves if they were as bad as me. I happen to know at least one of these blogs is run by a minor, and it’s extremely disturbing to me that minors are talking about my kinks. For your own good, if you are a minor, stop talking about sex, whether or not kinks are involved. Please.

These aren't all the screenshots of things they said, but it's a good selection of things.

2- Aboriginal OC

Blubushie claims that Bilay Teira, one of my OCs, is an offensive portrayal of Aboriginal people. Here are some pictures of him for reference. (I don't have time to start The Sims up to show his Sim where I first designed him, but I've since changed his Sim to match the digital version better, like changing his facial structure.)

I am planning on tweaking his design a bit more and asking for design advice on Reddit from real Aboriginal people, but no, I don’t think all non-white people are the same! Not even close. There’s so, so many cultures and countries out there I’m very interested in. Even among Aboriginal peoples, there’s so much diversity and differences between all the different tribes, like any other indigenous population.

The reason Bilay has so many different styles of accessories and clothing from assorted cultures and countries is because he’s a linguist who’s very interested in other cultures and languages, and he expresses this love for other cultures in his fashion choices. It’s also because I had designed Bilay in The Sims, which only has so many options for clothing and accessories, and doesn’t have any options for traditional Aboriginal clothing/hairstyles that I know of. And besides, Bilay would only wear traditional dress at special occasions - when he’s just out and about in his everyday clothes, he opts for cardigans with bright patterns and jeans. Bilay lives in the city with his husband and has an academic job, and it kind of seems to me like Blubushie is expecting me to have designed a character who always wears traditional clothes and hairstyles instead of modern ones. I’ve done plenty of research and watched videos from real Aboriginal people and they’re always wearing modern clothes that fit whatever they’re doing - they don’t wear their ceremonial clothes/accessories and face paint to work or to go shopping.

Furthermore, in an anime style, his facial structure doesn’t come through well because the whole point of it is that the eyes are more detailed while the nose and mouth are small and simplified. Just google “black anime characters” and “indigenous anime characters” to see what I mean. With some exceptions (for example, in some bara manga with more detailed art styles), black characters have the same facial structure as white characters. This point applies to Demo, as well as Ferris and Daisy (two black OCs I have) too. Please don’t hold my cartoony art to realistic standards- judge it by the standards of other anime art styles.

Conclusion

My intention in writing this wasn’t to cover my ass, shirk responsibility or any of that. I just want to take accountability for the parts that I was responsible for, explain the truth about the parts that I wasn’t, and for everyone to drop this. I want to put the truth out there, and to be able to work on myself, and write, draw and animate in peace. 

Thanks,

Mavis

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[casualartisanninja]

Another thing I want to take responsibility for is the Yuzu incident. In mid 2022, I had an idea: I wanted to create a new persona, one that wasn't tied to me at all, with the express intention of simply being positive and sharing joy with the rest of the Chipspeech community- just sharing random Chipspeech songs.

The rest of my friend group thought this was a great idea, and began sharing songs for me to post there.

Please note that despite the fact that Nure and Seb have since gone on to make callout posts about me for making the Yuzu account and this persona, they both encouraged this plan and said to do it. (I had the original screenshots at one time but I lost them, so here's the version I put in the Google Docs draft of this response.)

If they thought it was manipulative and wrong, then they should have spoken up and told me not to do it- just as they had in the past with other ideas I had that would come off as cruel or otherwise fanned the flames we were all trying so desperately to put out. I wouldn't have done it if they had just said “I really don't think this is a good idea, that's lying and being manipulative. You’re omitting important information and playing with people’s feelings by forming a fraudulent bond with them. Would you really like it if it turned out one of us was secretly Chiploider and Lepus, posing as a new person only to show all of their friends what you were saying in confidence, and that our friendship hadn’t been genuine?” But hindsight is 20/20, and I really, really wish someone had stopped me and just told me that paragraph, and encouraged me to think more about what it’d be like on the receiving end. That no, the ends don’t justify the means, and there’s better ways to sow peace.

I would like to mention, I'm not upset at my friends for not telling me that this plan wasn't a good idea. I understand, this is one of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time to all of us. Furthermore it was disrespectful of me to pose as someone who wasn’t a native English speaker in an attempt to disguise my syntax, and I recognize that this was extremely insulting to those who actually did have to work to learn English. I’m very sorry for that, and again, I didn’t really think about the implications there. Going forward I won’t ever pose as a different person again - and especially won’t pose as a non-native speaker. I promise that if I own an account from now on, I’ll be honest and say “This is Mavis.” 

But for Nure and Seb to call me out on this and act like they were never on board with this is just deliberately misleading. Again, I run these things by my friends for this reason. I trust them to pick up on things and have foresight that I wouldn't, and be able to basically tell me if I'm being an asshole. Seb and Nure both said “do it”.

I also forgot to attach this part to the section about the asks Blu got. I apologize for this being messed up and out of order.

I had a similar phenomenon happen in Chipspeech actually - one of my friends made an alt account on Tumblr and they explained they’d use it to stand up for me, but they actually used it to bully one of the most prominent members in Chipspeech, who led most of the efforts in callouts against me. But yet, I got blamed for these tweets. I told this friend off in DMs and a voice chat, as I explained on my Youtube channel addressing this. Please watch this video for a debunking of the Glitchkrieg incident with screenshots. It also touches on some of the other Chipspeech accusations. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPxgEGCFDu0

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[casualartisanninja]

I'd also like to include what my friends said when I told them about the asks. I believe these are in the right order.

While I was writing this post I found two more reddit comments when getting a link to the callout for some of leafymug's screenshots. I figured these needed to be archived too.

Apologizing for things I did

First in this section, I want to address how disrespectful I’d been to Blu about something I know I was 100% in the wrong for. I admit, I did have feelings for him, and finding out that he had a girlfriend that he was going to marry really, really pissed me off.

I don't know if this was the whole exchange but this was what I found.

I got jealous, and I unfortunately didn’t respect the fact that he was in mourning. That was abhorrent of me, and there’s no way I can really recover from that. It was really, really fucked up, and I’m well aware of that fact. I’ve been trying to work on controlling my jealousy and other emotions too. That being said though, I am neurodivergent, with autism and BPD, so this is a process of trial and error, of finding different people to ask for help, and trying different coping mechanisms. But to be fair I have limited options when it comes to what help I can receive- my financial situation limits me to just a low-income mental health clinic that’s woefully understaffed. It’s a long process, but I have at least been working on keeping my mouth shut more and not saying things like that, keeping them just as private thoughts. From now on I won’t say anything beyond just offering condolences, and I’m expecting for my friends to hold me to that.

Another thing I regret was harassing trans people, back in about 2020. I don’t have any screenshots of these incidents, since they were so long ago and the blogs I used have since been deleted. I used both disparaging memes and sent hate asks to people. I did do that, and as much as I regret it now, it happened. 

Unfortunately at the time, I was also going through a very bad time mentally. I still am, of course, but I ended up doing absolutely inexcusable things then. At the time I posted a lot of really hateful, radical rightist stuff on my Tumblr blog.

I know I shouldn’t have posted any of that now, but you know what they say about hindsight. I believe that Solemeralds already touched on this in her post about me, but I had fallen into a really bad, sketchy crowd on Tumblr. I looked up to a bunch of people who had promoted this hateful, radical ideology as a way to fight back and stick it to the man. They made it look like I’d be fighting back against bullies, and that really appealed to me. I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Those people presented this aura of being fearless and bully-proof, so I started emulating that behavior in an attempt to not only be accepted among them, but also finally have the confidence and bullyproofing that I’d wanted my whole life. Following in their footsteps, I unfortunately harassed people who said things about me.

Thankfully though, I realized that trolling people wasn’t really getting me the attention and recognition I was hoping for. It really wasn’t my ticket to being bullyproof after all and instead was just making me be a tremendous asshole- so in 2021 I stopped entirely, and throughout the course of 2021 and 2022 I weeded out people from my circle who still subscribed to that line of thinking.

And I owe this change all to my friend group. A group of wonderful ladies and gentlemen who quite literally saved my life on multiple occasions. While they gave me a chance and wanted to speak to me, they also calmly and gently explained to me why my actions had been wrong. They explained how it was hurting people, and that no- this wouldn't get me any popularity and approval. It wouldn't make people too scared to bully me, acting edgy and harassing people would only make potential friends too scared to approach me. They taught me how, in my attempts to protect myself from all perceived threats and scare bullies off, I was perpetuating the cycle of abuse and cruelty that I’d been subjected to myself for years.

Again, I'm truly sorry for everything I did. I know I really shouldn't have done those things and that there’s nothing I can do to change the past. I shouldn't have said those things or fallen in with that crowd. I did hurt people in my early days of Chipspeech and before, and that's one of many, many things that'll haunt me forever because I don't know how to make that right. Me telling that story about how conservative Tumblr found me at a vulnerable time wasn't designed to be an excuse or passing the buck. There isn't any excuse for the stuff I did. It was wrong, and I'm truly, deeply sorry for the person I used to be. They may have baited me into their line of thinking but ultimately it was my decision to snap at it. I can't undo what I did, or un-hurt the people I hurt, but moving forward I'm committed to respecting all people and their identities. And I’ve made a vow to myself that I will never, ever, ever again send a hateful message to anyone for any reason.

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[casualartisanninja]

There was also an occasion where he went on an alt and sent me angry messages, and he also stalked the notes of my posts and sent Gabriel's callout post to anybody who interacted with me.

(I think these sent out of order, I'm sorry.)

He also accused me of sending him some transphobic, sexually charged asks.

I tried to explain several times that I didn't send that, but he didn't listen. I've told him before that I never use anon, and I've never liked sexually charged insults.

I think the only reason that I got accused of this was because I was also falsely accused of being Glitchkrieg, who did use some sexually charged insults against Chiploider, if I'm not mistaken. I already debunked that though, on my Youtube. (I'll provide the link later on in the part it's relevant to.)

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[casualartisanninja]

In one part of his message he stated that I “brought up scat 21 times in our conversation”, citing a Discord search bar. However he failed to show the results of that search, likely because he knew that none of these descriptions were graphic. The majority of the times we discussed it were comparing my scat kink to his blood and cutting kink. At no point did he ever tell me that he wasn’t comfortable with me mentioning my kink. If he was uncomfortable, the onus was on him to say “Stop mentioning scat.”

I’d also like to address another major point he brings up - the idea that I fetishized his rape with a fanfiction I wrote about my OC Hacker and Sniper. I am quite into adult baby roleplay, and so I wrote a fanfiction about Hacker and Sniper adding this aspect to their relationship. https://archiveofourown.org/works/48715615

And I know that it was wrong of me to keep talking to him when he had a firm boundary that he hated that kink and believed anyone who likes it is a pedophile. At the time, I thought it was an unreasonable boundary- but since he was my friend and I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, I just refused to bring it up in an attempt to stay within his boundary and not make him think that I was a pedophile. But after all this happened I realized it doesn’t matter if I think it’s an unreasonable boundary and either you want to avoid causing someone trauma or you don’t really care about the risks. Clearly I didn’t care about the risks as much as I should have and I still regret that. I’m sorry and I swear the next time a situation like this happens I won’t try to spare their feelings and keep it hidden like I did. I should’ve just said “Look Blu, I do like ABDL and you don’t like that. We shouldn’t be friends, as you said. Goodbye.” If I had done that early on a lot of things would’ve been prevented.

And going forward, next time if someone says “I won’t be friends with anyone who likes this kink” I’ll say “Well I do like that kink, so per your boundary I’ll be blocking you.” No matter how much I like this person and want to be friends with them. 

But back to the main topic of the idea that it was fetishizing his trauma - no it wasn’t. Objectively, this just isn’t true. It was actually inspired by this fic, written by one of my friends at the time, who was a major inspiration for how I write my TF2 fics. I liked this fic but didn’t like the coercion aspect much, so I decided to write one without the coercion. https://archiveofourown.org/works/48229099

The other inspiration for this fic was just my own fantasies and personal issues. Thanks to my dissatisfaction with female gender roles, I also have issues with feeling disempowered and emasculated - but primarily with people thinking I’m babyish and not tough. These issues were ones I wanted to explore both from Sniper’s point of view and Hacker’s - how helping someone get over their fear of being seen as a poser would in turn help me get over mine. This wasn’t intended for Blu in any way. And that brings me to my second point: I didn’t send this to Blu. At no point did I bring this fic up to Blu. He went onto my profile or was sent my profile, clicked on this fic and read the tags and warnings.

He knew this fic would trigger him, being an ABDL fic, and instead of clicking off of it, he went to it anyway and read it. Thanks to the poor timing of this, he also assumed this fic was about him, but it wasn’t. Like I said, it was mostly about my own fantasies and personal issues. I did like a few of the words he used, like “emasculated” but that wasn’t because Blu said it. It was because I genuinely thought it was a good way to word those feelings I had too. Yes, I know Blu’s issues come from completely different issues than mine, but there are still some issues/effects of issues that we have in common. Please don’t tell me I’m not allowed to talk about mine because it sounds to you like I’m talking about yours and not respecting you.

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[casualartisanninja]

His screenshots of our DMs were purposely misleading, as well. Like how Seb cut out context, he left out a lot of the things he said that make him look racist and sexist. I don’t like female gender roles in relationships, and Blu knew this, but he kept trying to tell me that I couldn’t find a man who would be ok with me wanting to play a traditionally masculine role in a relationship while also being accepting of my opinions, hobbies and beliefs. It felt like he was just trying to pound this fact into my head, that I can't find a country boy (Aussie or otherwise) who likes masculine women who don't bottom. There's so much to look through but here's a few messages where he said some stuff I found sexist- including him trying to convince me I'm trans.

Did I say sexist things and word things badly? Yes, I’m not denying that. I really regret saying those things, and I really am trying to work on my own body dysmorphia issues because they’re the main source of me having these opinions. It also unfortunately completely killed my bisexuality- he claims I was only pretending to be bisexual, but that’s just not the case. I actually have been in the past but my dysmorphia issues have returned to the point that I no longer can handle looking at vaginas. When we first met, it wasn’t very bad at all and I did like them somewhat, but that’s just not the case anymore. I’m still seeing a therapist to help me work on this problem - not just this problem, but all the problems I’ve mentioned, like the ones involving taking accountability and understanding boundaries. I'm really wanting to get over my aversion to vaginas and the extreme dissatisfaction I have with female gender roles and especially the expectation of me to be penetrated.

I will also say that I feel like Blu trying to convince me that I’m transgender because I don’t like my genitals and am dissatisfied with female gender roles- especially in relationships- had an air of sexism to it. To be fair, I may be misinterpreting his intentions and he was genuinely trying to help, but I still feel that it’s quite sexist to say “women have quality A, men have quality B, if you have quality B then you’re transgender, end of conversation”. My dad told me for years and years, "If you're going to be masculine you won't ever attract any men, you'll only attract women. Act like a woman or date women, those are your choices." And he still makes little jabs at me for doing more masculine things- for example if I get competitive about something physical he says sarcastically "oh you're such a big strong man!". And I felt like Blu was mirroring this exact sentiment of "if you like men you have to be dainty and act like a woman." Like he said, blokes aren't a monolith, but these sentiments along with some other stuff he already screenshotted just reaffirmed the long-standing belief I've had that I'm a defective woman because I don't do anything the way women should by his own standards.

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[casualartisanninja]

Blu's allegations + hypocritical/unsavory actions

Blubushie claims he doesn’t hate me or want me dead, but encourages people to harass and bully me by creating a space for anons to talk about me and also liking the posts made by a group of people who made troll blogs to make fun of me and insult my fetishes, art, etc. These aren't all the anons mocking/accusing me, there's far more here in his mavisposting tag. (Also, more on that gl1tchygreml1n blog in the troll accounts part.)

(This wasn't the only post from those accounts he liked. He liked almost all of them, except for some of the newer ones from uranium-tears. He might have liked those too since then, though.)

This is a huge problem because Blu has a massive fanbase. He’s one of the most popular TF2 blogs on Tumblr, and is extremely charismatic. I feel that as a prominent content creator, he needs to take more responsibility for what he says and does with regards to other people. When you’re a popular figure, it doesn’t matter how much you say “don’t harass these people” if you yourself are pointing at them and laughing at them for being cringe or making more serious allegations. You are the leader, and your fans will follow you whether you like it or not. Most of his fanbase are minors, which as he’s stated before, are easily influenced by people they look up to. Add in how charismatic he is and you’ve got the perfect storm of people who will follow him in anything and everything he does. Frankly, I feel that his fanbase turned into a cult of personality, that he started looking for influence rather than friends- and watching that transformation happen live in his server, Blucord, made me very uncomfortable. I left his server because I felt that the atmosphere was turning hostile, and he convinced me to come back. I think I've actually left and rejoined his server multiple times but I can't find any other instances of it on our DMs aside from this one. I had him blocked on Discord, but for this I unblocked him so it would be faster taking the screenshots.

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[casualartisanninja]

Seb’s allegations

I should also address the screenshots that Seb/Ferdihound took of our dms back when I was into Chipspeech. Once again, this is an example of me making a stupid blunder and thinking that if he was making raunchy jokes it was okay for me to make them too. Again, I’ve decided to change that behavior by doing the things I’ve stated before, plus the fact that I no longer talk to minors at all. But just like the other case, Seb purposely left out context - and this case is even worse. 

He knew that the conversation we had about WickedWhims was me explaining what it was because I was trying to tell him I couldn’t livestream my game thanks to having that mod. And I explicitly told him “you don’t want that mod, it’s an ‘ooh la la’ mod.” And when I said “50 Shades Of Gray.mp3” in the joke about Cidertalk’s moods, I was referring to this song by Bloopy, which is about sadomasochistic sex. And Seb mentioned liking Bloopy’s music before, so I had thought it was a joke that he would laugh at. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZmEs8oxEKo Looking back though, it was extremely inappropriate and I shouldn't have made it.

I feel horrible for both of these incidents. Like I’ve said, I really didn’t want to hurt anyone. I didn’t want to expose minors to sex. And I know I shouldn’t have done that, and like I said I’ve taken measures to make sure that’ll never happen again. I no longer interact with minors at all, as I mentioned above.

However, Seb has done some really questionable things since he saw Blu and Gabriel's callout posts and Blu's "#mavisposting" tag. Here's a short list of them.

Created a blog called uranium-tears, which was the name of my BPD vent blog, to serve as a troll account. More on that later.

Vandalized my Chipspeech fanon Wiki, Chipspeech Anarchy Wiki.

(Those changes were reverted by a Fandom Wiki anti-vandalism volunteer before I had gotten the chance to see them live, so I had to look at them through the history.)

And finally he sent me these asks and Discord message. The last screenshot is because I wanted to show that Sponcer AL2's typing and art style is very similar to Seb's.

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[casualartisanninja]

One of the people involved even posted a message on Tumblr about what happened, clarifying that there was a lot of context that the original post left out. I had asked this person why I’d been banned, since we had talked a decent amount in the server - and they expressed remorse that the whole thing had gone that far, and I apologized for discussing that stuff in front of them. However, Gabriel deleted this from the notes (I think) and so this response was never seen by most people who saw it.

Once again I'm not trying to avoid responsibility here, I'm not blaming Soulchar for the entire thing.

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[casualartisanninja]

(continued from above)

My friend also wanted to call attention to the fact that Hobqueer’s server didn’t have age roles at the time- it may now, but I don’t remember asking my friend if the server implemented that at a later date. I'm also including some screenshots from my group chat with my friends that might offer additional context, since I had asked them about this. I apologize if these are out of order.

I had, at the time, assumed that people who talked about nsfw topics would be over 18-  but for some reason, I just didn’t think to ask. 

Going forward I’m far more diligent about checking server rules and whether or not 18+ content is allowed, and checking people’s ages before interacting - especially with regards to bringing up 18+ subjects. Though I really only talk about NSFW topics in the dedicated private NSFW TF2 server I run, and I make sure to get confirmation that everyone there is over 18 before letting them in. If I suspect someone of lying I ask someone to vouch for them. If I see a minor talking about NSFW topics in a server I’m in but I don’t moderate, I report it to a moderator and usually tell the minor in question that they shouldn’t be talking about sexual things and that it’s dangerous to do so. 

I made a comment comparing something on the Janitor.AI subreddit I read to this situation, and someone made an alt and commented under it with allegations against me. When I tried to explain the situation I just got ignored and accused of playing the victim. I don’t want sympathy or to be a victim, I just want to be left alone. That’s the only thing I want out of any of this.

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[casualartisanninja]

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

Edit: Here is the end of the post so you can read it all at once. https://www.tumblr.com/casualartisanninja/747977941832613888/loose-ends

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

#mavisposting #xxcherenkov-gremlinxx #allegations #accusations #explanation #debunking #tf2 fandom #chipspeech fandom

[casualartisanninja]

1967 Shelby GT500

by marioklemm via instagram

#cars #ford #Mustang #american cars

[casualartisanninja]

Lamborghini Huracan Performante

by 25thh via Instagram

#cars #lamborghini #italian cars

[casualartisanninja]

McLaren P1

by henryjmw via Instagram

#cars #mclaren