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celestialglow24 · 21 hours
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frank and his hairstyles over the years
reblog and write in the tags your favorite style + why!!
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celestialglow24 · 23 hours
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••• Sharing the Bed•••
Frank Castle x AFAB Reader
Reader is wondering how things will be with Frank now after asking him to be her fake boyfriend at her sister’s wedding.
3.9k words
Inspired by the faking dating prompts from @thelonelyempath https://www.tumblr.com/thelonelyempath/705043295893618688/fake-dating-prompts?source=share
Using prompt #25 “I kinda liked sharing the bed with you”
I’ve had such a writing bug lately and im taking advantage of it while i’ve got it! Enjoy xxx
You were nervous to see him again.
It had been a couple weeks since you’d convinced Frank to be your fake boyfriend for your sister’s wedding.
You had panicked when your mom called you at work, saying you had pushed it off long enough and she needed an answer right now if you were bringing a plus one or not.
You almost said no, but after she made a snide comment about already knowing the answer—she was just asking as a courtesy to your sister—you cracked and told her you’d been seeing someone for months now.
When she asked who, your eyes had landed on one of the few patrons left at the bar that night.
Frank Castle.
Surprisingly he agreed to go. It was probably the desperation in your voice and the pleading of your eyes—you didn’t have time to think about how pathetic you felt—but you were thankful nonetheless.
It’s been 14 days since you got back and you haven’t seen him since. Not that you were counting the days or anything.
No texts.
No phone calls.
Just silence.
Normally you wouldn’t think much of it. Even though Frank had become a regular at the bar and restaurant you worked at, he’d disappear for days and weeks at a time.
You’d try and make small talk when he came back. Hoping to get any kind of inclination as to what Frank Castle got up to in his spare time.
He was still such a mystery to you. A very attractive mystery at that. One that you were determined to figure out.
However, as much as you tried, you never got the answer you were searching for.
It was always “business” or “nothing you’d find interesting, sweetheart”.
You never really gave it much thought when he offered those responses, you just accepted that Frank was not an open book. He was a locked book. One kept on the highest shelf that you’d probably never be able to reach.
And yet despite knowing all this you couldn’t help but wonder if your time away together had anything to do with his sudden absence.
You worried things would get awkward. Especially after having to share a bed together. He offered to sleep on the floor but you shot that down quick.
Not only would you feel enormously guilty having him sleep on the hardwood floor—he complained about his back a lot—but you were worried someone might walk in and your fake dating charade would unravel.
The silent crush you’d been harboring had only gotten louder after several days with Frank. Having to hold hands, talk sweetly to each other and even slow dance at the wedding had your mind all in a haze.
What was real and what wasn’t?
Did he feel anything? Or was he just a really good actor?
It was driving you crazy.
One thing was for certain, your family adored him. Especially your equally intimidating, hard-to-please father.
In fact, your dad liked him so much he invited him to go hunting in a few months.
It had taken years before he even extended an invite like that to your sister’s now husband.
You had to bite your lip to keep from laughing when you watched the way his eyes had widened and mouth parted when Frank agreed to go—your sister offering a reassuring pat to his arm.
You figured it had something to do with the fact they were both veterans. Your dad took an instant liking to anyone who could relate to the struggle and strength it took to serve in the military.
And your mother. The way she fawned over everything Frank said and did. His manners, how he consistently answered with “yes, ma’am” and “no, ma’am”.
She just about fell over when she came into the kitchen one morning to find he had managed to fix that pesky dishwasher that had been giving her trouble for months.
You smiled at the memory, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. Another thought had overshadowed it. One that caused a sudden pit to form in your stomach. How were you going to break the news to your family that things with Frank weren’t working out?
The plan was to give it a few weeks and then call to let them know you’d decided to take some time apart. You were both realizing you needed different things, but you would remain friends.
It sounded reasonable, but now? You didn’t think you could handle their disappointment.
You’d never seen them so proud of you. So happy for you. Pleasing your parents always felt like an impossible task. The closer you got there was always some dip in the road that caused that approval to move further and further away.
You finally bring someone home that they approved of only to rip the hope away from them. You were sure they’d find some way to blame it all on you.
You were starting to remember what it felt like when you told them you wouldn’t be going to college.
It didn’t matter that you were excellent at your job, managing both the bar and the restaurant on your own. It didn’t matter that you were able to make more than enough money to support yourself. And it certainly didn’t matter that you had helped exceed the profit goals of each quarter since you started.
It didn’t matter that you had been busting your ass to save back money to buy the place for yourself when the owner retired soon.
It only mattered that you didn’t have a “career” or a family to call your own.
Frank had picked up on the tension pretty early on. He did his best to talk you up. You found it sweet. Endearing even.
One night, while the two of you were dancing to some slow, sappy song your sister picked out, Frank called you out on your off demeanor.
You were surprised he noticed, you thought you had mastered the art of appearing fine when deep down you really weren’t.
“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” he spoke lowly in your ear. One of his hands rested on the small of your back while the other held your hand close to his chest. His thumb ran back and forth along your hand and you tried to ignore the swarm of butterflies wreaking havoc on your stomach.
“I’m wondering how Uncle Steven has managed to go this long without throwing up. I thought for sure the cupid shuffle would’ve done it.”
Frank turned to look in the direction you were staring. Your Uncle Steven was somehow still performing the steps to the dance from 3 songs ago. Frank lightly chuckled as he watched Steven spill some of his beer on the couple next to him.
Though he couldn’t deny he was also wondering how the old man hadn’t crashed yet, he knew that’s not what you were really thinking about.
You were trying to deflect.
He was starting to learn just how stubborn you could be, but unlucky for you, Frank wasn’t gonna let you off the hook that easily.
“Nah that ain’t it.” he shook his head. “I can tell there’s a lot more going on behind those eyes.”
You were slightly relieved the lights were dim in the reception so he couldn’t see the deep blush heating up your face. You weren’t good at making eye contact with people you were crushing on.
“I think you’re imagining things.” you replied avoiding his gaze. “I’m just tired, I think this week is finally catching up to me.”
“Hm.” Frank hummed.
“What?”
“I think we’re about to have our first fight.”
You scoffed, ”Oh yeah? and what’s this ‘first fight’ gonna be about?”
“How you’re lying to your boyfriend.” he replied, speaking low into your ear again. It shouldn’t have caused the hairs on your neck to stand up but it certainly did.
“Look, you listen to assholes mope and complain all day long about their sad fucked up lives. I think it’s only fair to return the favor.” he shrugged. “So tonight i’ll do your job and you can let it all out right now. Minus the crude comments and shitty tips.”
You were about to laugh and lightly shove Frank for messing with you, but the look on his face made you pause.
He was being serious.
“Is it your folks?” he asked. “I saw your face when your dad gave that speech. That smile you were forcin’, it didn’t reach your eyes.”
You bit your lip and lowered your stare to the dress shirt he was wearing, playing nervously with one of the buttons to avoid looking up at him.
“That obvious huh?” you laughed sadly.
Frank felt bad as he watched the hurt wash over your features. He knew all too well the overwhelming pressure to please one’s family. He grew up with an overbearing father who never thought he’d amount to anything.
He knew how much that disappointment could eat you alive.
“It’s just, no matter what I do. I know my dad will never speak about me the way he does my sister. She’s an ivy league graduate who just got into med school. She’s married now, moving to a new city and probably going to be popping out kids before the end of next year. and me? In his eyes I'm just a bartender in a small town with no ambitious goal in sight.”
Frank nodded in understanding. He could see from the outside how the comparison could make you feel that way.
“Are you happy?”
You thought about it for a second. Even though the job had its ups and downs—managing a restaurant and a busy bar was no easy feat—you could honestly say you enjoyed what you did.
You got to know a lot of the locals well and it always made you feel good to know that you’d helped make their day or night a little better.
You loved the house you recently bought. It was a bit of a fixer upper but it was yours.
You loved how independent you were. How you could come home after a long day and you didn’t have to cook for a litter of kids.
It was just your dog, cat and you.
“Honestly? Yeah, I think I am.”
“Then fuck em.” he shrugged.
“Frank I-”
“Nah, nah.” he cut you off. “I know that’s your family but that don’t mean they’re always right. If you like what you do and you’re happy then who gives a shit what anyone else thinks.”
You processed Frank’s words and while you knew he was probably right, it didn’t mean it was easy to just tune out your parents’ criticism.
Frank seemed to know what you weren’t saying out loud because he followed it up with something that made your heart swell.
“All i’m saying is if they can look at you and what you’re doing and feel anything but proud there’s something wrong with ‘em. Not you.”
You could’ve kissed him right there but the song had ended and couples were clearing the dance floor.
Instead you walked back to the table with Frank, your arm looped through his.
You couldn’t help but think about how this man was screwing with your heart and your head and he didn’t even know it.
That much was still true all these days later. At this point you were dying for him to show up again.
Even if he didn’t talk to you, you’d at least know he wasn’t avoiding this whole place because of you.
The night was winding down, the 2 am crowd had begun to disperse and your eyes were fighting hard to stay awake. You’d chosen to work a double today, one of the other bartenders had a family emergency.
In your 20s you could work shifts like this and bounce right back the next day but now? In your 30s you were lucky if you managed to wake up without an achy back and sore feet.
“Phil, I'm gonna run the last of the trash out and then I'm heading home. I left the keys to lock up in the front drawer.” you shouted to the line cook in the back.
You could see him mopping up the kitchen floor so you knew he wouldn’t be too far behind you.
“You sure you don’t want me to go with ya this time?” he shouted back, “I’d hate for a creepy critter to make you run like you’d seen a ghost again.”
You rolled your eyes as Phil roared with laughter. Referencing the one time a little group of racoons had taken up residence inside the restaurant dumpster and sent you running like Freddy Krueger himself was chasing you.
“I think i’ll manage this time Phil, thanks for looking out.” you replied playfully.
You picked up the large trash bags and backed into the front door to head out. It was really inconvenient but they recently had moved the trash compactor across the street.
Not only was it annoying during the day when the streets were busy but it was extra spooky at night.
Once you were out of the door you turned around only to gasp and drop the trash bags you were holding.
“Jesus, Frank.” you cried, “What the hell were you trying to do, give me a fucking heart attack?”
You were too distracted by the adrenaline coursing through your veins to realize the man you’d been waiting to see for the last two weeks was finally standing in front of you.
“My bad, sweetheart. Didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that. I tried to go by your place and you weren’t there so I figured you might be here.”
You blew out a puff of hair and a couple pieces of your hair went flying.
“You were looking for me?”
“Yeah, sorry I know it’s late. I wanted to make sure you got this back. Somehow I think it got mixed up in my things.”
Frank pulled out a pink phone charger from his jacket pocket and extended it out to you.
You had a million of these things scattered around your house so you honestly hadn’t noticed it was missing. It was sweet of him to bring it back to you though.
“Oh Frank, you didn’t have to worry about that.” you replied, walking forward to retrieve it. “But thank you”.
You beamed a genuine smile at Frank while holding up the charger in your hand and he thought his heart had grown 2 sizes. Just like the Grinch his kids used to watch.
There was something about your smile that always stopped him in his tracks. He would never get tired of seeing it.
“Nah it’s nothin’.” he shrugged. “May I?”
He gestured toward the garbage bags sitting on the ground and bent over to pick them up.
“You don’t have to!” you tried to stop him, but subconsciously you knew it would be pointless.
Frank was always a gentleman and while he knew you would have no trouble carrying them on your own, he wouldn’t feel right not offering a hand.
“Can I atleast carry one of them?” you asked sweetly.
There was that damn smile again. How could he say no?
The two of you walked in silence for a bit, it wasn’t awkward but it was clear you were both trying to think of what to say next.
How do two people that recently spent a week pretending to be a couple go back to normal?
You decided to break the silence as the two of you walked back toward the bar.
“I, um, never got to properly thank you for helping with my family. I know it was probably a bit weird but it meant more to me than you could ever know. I think my parents would’ve had us get married that same night if it were up to them.” you laughed, playing nervously with your hands.
“Is that right?” Franked looked down at you with an amused expression.
“God, yes. I think you’re probably gonna be the only guy I bring home that they will ever like. I actually feel bad for the next guy that has to live up to the great Frank Castle.” you nudged him as you walked and he let out the most glorious laugh you’d ever heard.
You wanted to hear that more.
“Well if i’m the measuring stick for all the future men in your life then it’s your parents I feel sorry for.”
“Hey!” you exclaimed, playfully swatting his shoulder, “What do you mean by ‘all the future men in your life’? You think I still got a revolving door of men to get through before I finally settle down?”
It was meant to be playful banter, but there was a look that settled in Frank’s eyes and the mood suddenly got a bit more serious.
“I sure hope not.”
You weren’t sure how to take his comment. Maybe you were over analyzing but there was a part of you that was hoping he said that because he wanted you.
Wishful thinking of course.
You cleared your throat to help ease the tension.
“So, you just get back from whatever mystery place you squandered off to?”
“Just taking care of some business, sweetheart.”
That famous phrase again. You simply nodded. Accepting once again that you would probably not get any further information than that.
“But you know it’s funny.” he smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. “There I was, lying in bed in some run down roach motel off the highway, having a hell of time trying to fall asleep each night.
“It coulda been the state of the motel—that place was a real shitbox—but the more I laid there, the more I realized it felt like I was missing something.”
Frank started fidgeting a bit. Almost like he was nervous or something. It was strange. You didn't think a guy like him got nervous.
“I realized, I kinda liked sharing the bed with you.”
Your heart started hammering away in your chest. Did you hear him right? Frank Castle liked sharing a bed with you? So much so that it was keeping him up at night?
You had to be dreaming.
“Really?”
You tried to act nonchalant but the word came out all high and squeaky. You don’t think Frank noticed though.
“Yeah, believe it or not I’d gotten so used to having no covers at night, I just tossed the damn thing on the ground.”
You gasped and punched his shoulder slightly. “Hey, I warned you I would probably take all the blankets. You coulda pulled them right back.”
Frank laughed again.
“Nah, you were too cute wrapped up like a burrito. Besides, I was more worried if I tried you’d whack my head or kick my nuts. You sure do move around a lot in your sleep.”
You feigned hurt, placing a hand to your chest.
“And just why do you miss sharing a bed with me so much? It doesn't sound so pleasant based on what you’re saying.”
Frank looked off and smiled. “I don’t know.”
A comfortable silence fell between the two of you.
“Look, uh, I’m not really good at this. I’ve been out of the game for a long time so you’ll have to forgive me but-”
“Frank Castle.” you cut him off.
“Yeah?”
“Are you about to ask if you can sleep in my bed tonight?”
Frank’s eyebrows shot up and a panicked sort of look took residence on his face. “Shit, no I didn’t mean it like that. I was just-”
He stopped when he saw you throw your head back in laughter.
“What?” he asked, trying to fight off the smile that was beginning to form on his own face. Your laugh was just too damn contagious.
“I’m sorry,” you said between breaths,”You shoulda seen your face. I was just messing with you Frank.”
“Oh yeah?” he laughed, poking your side. “You think that shit was funny huh?”
Suddenly you felt yourself being lifted off the ground and over Frank’s shoulder. “I can be real fucking hilarious. How about I carry you home just like this?”
“Frank!” you screamed playfully, swatting at his back. “Put me down you asshole!”
“No, I think I like this view better.”
You continued to hit his back and laugh. You were just about to come back with your own smart comment when you heard a car pull up beside you.
“Is everything alright here?”
You turned to look, adjusting your hair so it was out of your face. It was an officer staring at you both with a confused expression.
You could’ve sworn you heard Frank growl a little bit.
“Uh we’re good officer!” you smiled, giving him a thumbs up.
“She had a bit too much to drink tonight. Tried to drive home. Just makin sure she gets home safe. She’s a stubborn thing.” Frank spoke up, making sure to pat your ass for dramatic effect.
The officer seemed to buy this story.
“Well miss, you got a good man there. You should probably listen to him more often.” he replied before rolling up the window.
You gasped and Frank roared with laughter.
“Thanks officer!” he shouted as the man drove away.
You poked his side hard and he finally released you, setting you down in front of him. Your faces were real close together now, and the smiles you both had slowly fell.
There was a quiet moment before you quickly leaned in and kissed Frank. He seemed surprised at first but thankfully responded and pulled you in tighter.
His hands roamed your body while yours held his face.
You pulled away gently, and he rested his forehead on yours.
“You know, I thought you’d been avoiding me.” you said quietly.
“Yeah?” he replied, moving a piece of hair behind your ear.
“I know you disappear sometimes but I thought this time was gonna be different.”
Frank nodded, running his hands down your shoulders before grabbing both of your hands in his own.
“You know, I got a confession.” he said quietly, “I swiped that phone charger before we left.”
You leaned back and looked up at him.
“What?”
He let out a soft chuckle. “I know it’s stupid but I wanted an excuse to see you again. Like I said, it's been a while since I’ve done anything like this and I didn’t think I could just approach you in the bar like before.”
“It’s not stupid.” you smiled, squeezing his hands. “It’s sweet.”
“So i’m sweet now? Just a second ago I was a asshole.”
“Both can be true.” you shrugged.
He scoffed. “Come here.”
Frank pulled you into him and you wrapped your arms around his waist. He placed a kiss on your head and it suddenly felt like it did when you were with your parents.
It just felt natural.
“Let me take you out.” he said, pulling back and tilting your chin up at him. “On a real date.”
You bit your lip and smiled, “I’d like that.”
“Good.” he replied before kissing you again.
“Now let’s go before that cop comes back around and you gotta act drunk for him.”
You rolled your eyes, “Whatever you say, Frank. I gotta listen to you more right?”
“Attagirl.” he smiled, before putting his arm around your shoulder.
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celestialglow24 · 7 days
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celestialglow24 · 8 days
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thank you so much for reading and for all of your feedback!! i am truly such a fan of your work so the fact you even saw this is an honor!! 🤍
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•space cowboy•
“we had our day in the sun when a horse wants to run there aint no sense in closing the gate. you can have your space, cowboy”
frank castle x gender neutral reader
i’m in my feels tonight and just got through listening to space cowboy by kacey musgraves. for some reason it made me think of frank. there’s not really a point to this, just a lot of angst. enjoy. (ps. pls don’t come for me if you hate it, thanks)
you knew not to get too attached. something was broken in him and in your experience, people with broken pieces don’t often stick around.
they’re scared the shameful parts of them will become exposed. like injured prey succumbing to their predator, they would have no choice but to face it.
face the pain, face the judgment and worst of all—face the reality that they might lose the one person they let see inside them.
so they pull away. they leave before that’s even a possibility. while you could sense that early on with him, the delusional side in you thought it would be different with you.
you foolishly thought you could get him to stay. you forced yourself to ignore the signs that were there. that the closer you got the more he seemed to pull away.
you knew he wanted to stay. you could see it in his eyes. in the way he gently brushed your hair out of your eyes. in the way he prepared your coffee for you. how he filled up the tank in your car. and how he always made sure the fridge was stocked with each of your favorite drinks and snacks.
you knew it in the way he held you. in the way he made love to you.
but the deeper your love grew, the further you felt it slipping away. like the way a bathtub drains, slowly and slowly until all at once it circles the drain and the water is gone.
something in his past made loving someone a risk. you knew the bits and pieces he chose to share but you never pried. he always got this far off look in his eyes. like he was reliving it over and over.
it almost seemed like he thought he deserved it. that whatever he went through was his fault and his punishment was never allowing himself to release the weight.
all you could do was hold him. kiss his shoulder. then his chin. then his lips.
“i’m here.” you would whisper.
he wouldn’t say anything. just nod slightly and kiss you back harder.
he’d wrap the covers around you both and you’d get lost in each other's bodies. if it helped him even a little you were relieved.
you relived the moments as you sat on the couch in the dark. the tears fell silently, matching the rain that pelted against your windows.
you didn’t fight him. you let him go. you could see that he needed to.
the letter he wrote you sat on your coffee table. you barely got through the first couple of sentences before falling apart.
if this is what he had to do then you wouldn’t be the one to hold him here.
so you let him run free. you knew he loved you in the only way he was able. and you knew that in his own misguided way he thought he was doing what was right by you.
it made your heart ache for him even more.
maybe one day he’d get tired of running. he’d realize it would never get him to escape the past. in fact you prayed for it.
and though the slightly angry and hurt side of you said you couldn’t wait to slam the door in his face when he came running back—you knew you wouldn’t.
you’d welcome him in your arms and into your heart as though he never left.
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celestialglow24 · 8 days
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i totally get why Frank would be bothered! he doesn’t want to lose anyone else, especially after opening himself up to love again 💔
the way he’s annoyed by Matt always cracks me up though.
and he’d never admit it, but he is grateful Red was there for her and he knows he would’ve died protecting her!
he’s still gonna yell at him later though hahaha 💁‍♀️
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••• Even Still •••
Frank Castle x AFAB reader
Frank is upset with you when you put yourself in harms way
once again i was in my frank feels and got a little carried away with this one. enjoy xx
“Don’t.”
He cut you off before you could even finish saying his name. You bit your tongue hard as you watched him insert another stitch on your forearm.
The pounding in your head was relentless and you did your best to ignore the buzz emitting from the lights in the bathroom.
It felt as though it was right in your ears.
Your chest rose and fell slowly — each breath feeling like a knife was being jammed into your side. More than likely you had a few broken ribs.
It hurt to talk and smile but at least your split lip had finally stopped bleeding. The soreness around your eyes reminded you of the probable bruises that would be there to greet you tomorrow morning.
You hadn’t planned on getting hurt. You hadn’t really planned on any of the events of tonight.
But when the opportunity came up for you to go after the men who killed your brother, there was no way you could turn it down.
You didn’t think about the possible consequences.
You didn’t care.
All you could see was the vision of your brother’s mutilated body. All you could hear were the screams from your mother when the police had come to deliver the news.
So you sought your own justice— with help from a certain red vigilante that your boyfriend wasn’t particularly fond of.
The tension in the bathroom was palpable. You wanted so badly to say something sassy, but Frank was the one with a needle and thread in his hand.
While you knew he would never purposely inflict pain, you wouldn’t put it past him to fix you with a little more pressure and force than was probably necessary.
So instead you waited until he finished covering your stitched wound with a bandage and gauze.
You didn’t move from your seat as he started cleaning up the supplies and you refused to look at him. You kept your gaze off to the side, looking toward the bathroom window at the few cars that drove down the quiet midnight street.
“I don’t understand why you’re so angry? I thought you would understand more than anyone why I did what I did.”
It was a low blow and you regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth. It wasn’t fair to throw that in his face but it also wasn’t fair that you got the cold shoulder when you weren’t all that different.
You couldn’t comprehend why it was okay for him to consistently put himself in dangerous situations but god forbid you do it one time.
He didn’t respond. He just continued to clean. For some reason that irritated you more than if he would’ve bit back with something even lower.
“Frank.” you prodded, this time finally turning to look at him. Again he ignored you, shoving the first aid kit back under the bathroom sink.
“Is this really what we’re gonna do? You’re gonna pretend like i’m not he-”
He grabbed your chin and jutted it up toward him. It didn’t hurt you, just startled you more than anything.
“Why didn’t you ask me?”
His voice was low, and while he tried to keep up his usual tough, stoic demeanor, you detected a hint of hurt in his voice.
You weren’t sure what to make of it.
“Hm?” he squeezed your chin gently when you hadn’t responded.
You avoided his gaze now, uncomfortable with his searching eyes. He could always see right through you. No matter how much you tried to close him out, it never worked.
“Because I knew you would’ve said no.”
As the words left your mouth you could hear how dejected you sounded. You were tired and really didn’t want to get in a screaming match with Frank tonight. You were just happy to be home and alive.
“You’re damn right I would’ve.”, he quipped. “It was a stupid thing to do.”
You scoffed, finally pushing his hand off your chin and crossing your arms.
“I did what was necessary.”
“No, you got fucking lucky. I mean what the hell were you thinkin? You really thought you could take on a group of those guys by yourself and win? You were just a doe heading straight into a lion's den.” he said incredulously.
“That’s why I didn’t go by myself, Frank.” you rolled your eyes. “I’m stubborn, not naive.”
“Oh right. ‘Scuse me. You and Red. The dynamic fucking duo.”
He was definitely hurt. There was no denying that. From the outside you could understand how it looked. Turning to someone he couldn’t stand for help instead of coming to him.
You realize now he wasn’t asking why you didn’t ask for his permission.
He was wanting to know why you didn’t ask him to be the one to go with you. Why did you go to Matt Murdock of all people?
But if you had gone to Frank you know he would’ve stopped you. Those men would still be alive right now and on their way to hurt someone else. To destroy some other family. You couldn’t let that happen.
Matt tried to stop you too but you had a bit more leeway with getting him to go along with you than Frank.
You knew even if he objected to it, Matt would reluctantly follow alongside you.
Frank would’ve tied you to a chair and locked you in a room.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you by going to him for help but you said it yourself. There’s no way I could’ve done that on my own. I needed someone who could join me and handle a fight. Not someone who was just going to tell me what I could and couldn’t do like I was some incompetent child.”
Frank shook his head. “Yeah and i’ll deal with that motherfucker later. He’s an idiot for letting you put yourself in danger like that.”
“He wouldn’t have let anything happen to me.” you shot back.
All he could do was run his hands down his face before turning to look at you. “Do you hear yourself? He ain’t some magic shield that would’ve kept you from getting shot or stabbed. What if there had been more men? What if he had gotten hurt and you were left to try and fight off those scum bags by yourself?”
“I think i handled myself pretty well when he was occupied.”
You knew you were being difficult. You also knew Frank was right. It was a bad idea all around, but at the time it didn’t matter. You just wanted to hurt them.
Sure there was a part of you that felt invincible having someone like Matt with you, but as you got more clarity you realized how lucky you had been to get away with the injuries you had. It really could’ve gone a different way.
Still, you hated the way Frank was making you feel right now. Like a child being scolded by a parent. You know it’s cause he loves you and you scared him, but it doesn’t make it any easier right now.
You figured he’d be a little upset but you also thought he would be proud of you.
The look he was giving you right now showed you anything but that.
“So do you feel better?” he asked, following you as you limped out of the bathroom. “Huh? You get what you wanted out of it?”
“Frank.” you sighed.
“No I wanna know.”
He grabbed your arm and spun you around. He loosened his hold when he saw you grimace from the contact, god you ached like a bitch, but he still held his intense stare.
“Was it worth it?”
You knew he was trying to rile you up. Get some sort of angry response from you. He was pissed now and was ready to let you have it but you weren’t giving in that easily.
“I don’t feel anything right now.”
Which was the truth. Besides the obvious physical pain, you didn’t feel anything about tonight. There was a rush of adrenaline as you fought, as you punched and kicked and dumped the last body into the river.
But now? As the high wore off and reality was sinking in? You just felt empty.
“You think about anyone else before you did what you did? You think about me or your friends?” he nodded toward the dog bowl for Rocco, the pitbull that you shared. “You think about him, how he’d search all around the apartment and wonder why you never came home?”
You turned your back to him and headed toward the bedroom. You just wanted to get out of these uncomfortable clothes and you wanted this conversation to stop.
“Enough, Frank.”
He didn’t listen, he just kept going. God is this how he felt when you nagged him for coming home close to death after a mission gone wrong?
“What about your mom, huh?”
That made you pause.
“You ever stop to think how she’d feel having two dead children?”
Your stomach dropped and the blood in your veins suddenly felt ice cold.
“How dare you.” you asked angrily, spinning around to face him. It took all the strength you had not to slap him.
“You don’t understand sweetheart. I’ve been where you are. I did what you did and it doesn’t stop the pain. It’s there like a gaping wound that won’t fucking close except now you’ve got something else on your conscience.”
“You think I don’t know what’s going through your head right now? The rush is gone and you’re left feeling like ‘what now’? He ain’t gonna call you up. He ain’t gonna walk through that door.”
You move to sit on the bed now, not even bothering to fight the tears as they rolled down your face.
“It doesn’t end there. No, because now you just took 3 men’s lives. Men with families. Men with people who are gonna want to know what happened to them. Men who work for people that don’t take well to being threatened and they’re gonna want to find whoever did this.”
“They ain’t gonna care that you were getting revenge for your brother. It’ll take them all but 2 seconds to put a bullet in your head and drive away like it never fucking happened.”
You hated that Frank was right but you didn’t understand the self righteous talk. Why does he do what he does if this is how he feels about it?
“How is this any different than what you do huh?” you spat angrily. “You think I don’t sit here worried about you when you disappear at night? Come in looking like you’re knocking on death’s door?”
“You’re not me!” he shouted. “I’ve already made the mistakes I made and I deal with it. I never wanted you anywhere near that world because it’s not for people like you. I already accepted my fate a long time ago.”
Frank knew he was being hard on you but he just couldn’t help it. He was so angry that you put yourself in that situation and he was angry that as much as he tried to protect you, there was nothing he could do for you now.
You were still processing everything but because of the kind of person you are, he knows tomorrow you’re gonna wake up feeling the guilt wash over you like an unrelenting wave.
It wasn’t that Frank was only trying to keep you safe physically—that was part of it— but he wanted to protect you from the emotional trauma that comes with taking a life. He’d buried that part of himself a long time ago.
But you? You were too sweet for this life. He was worried that it would break you. He knows better than anyone that it’s not a piece of you that comes back. You’re changed forever.
Your lip trembled and suddenly the sob you had been holding in came rushing out. The tears stung like hell as they fell down your face and this would no doubt make your headache a million times worse, but there was nothing you could do.
“Shit, baby.” Frank cursed, rushing over to you. He pulled you up into his arms, kissing your head and rubbing your neck. “Just let it out, I got you.”
Your whole body shook as the grief consumed you.
“I’m so sorry Frank.” you cried. “I’m sorry. I just wanted them to feel what he felt. What I feel. It’s not fair. It’s not-” you couldn’t even finish the words. You sounded like a blubbering mess.
“I know sweetheart. I know.” he whispered, rubbing his hand up and down your back and lightly rocking you back and forth.
He wished he could take this away from you. It hurt to see you hurt.
“I’m sorry for the harsh things I said. I’m not the best with words.” Frank said, resting his forehead against yours.
You breathed together, slow and steady. You could feel yourself start to calm down, the edge of the panic attack starting to subside. You slumped against Frank’s chest as the energy had been zapped from you.
“I’m sorry too.” you replied, “I wasn’t exactly making it easy on you.”
“No, but that’s my girl.”
He brushed your hair behind your ear and tilted your chin up to look at him. For a moment neither one of you said anything and you couldn’t decipher the look on his face.
“You drive me so fucking crazy sometimes.” he said quietly, “Even still, I don’t think I could survive losing you too.”
It felt like a kick in the stomach to hear that. You really had been selfish. You didn’t think about anyone else in your life that would’ve been affected if something had gone wrong.
It made the tears come again and Frank pulled you into him. He tried to soothe you, telling you it was going to be okay. You were safe, nothing was going to harm you.
After a while he helped you get out of your clothes, changing you into one of his big t shirts. You really wanted to shower but at this point the exhaustion was overwhelming. You could barely stand up straight.
So the two of you laid in bed. You laid on his chest, the top of your head resting in the crook of his neck.
You played with the chain around his neck, twisting and twirling it around your fingers while he absentmindedly ran his hand up and down your back.
“Frank?” you asked quietly.
“Yeah, baby?”
“Those men, do you really think someone will come after me now? Or my mom? What if they try to hurt her-”
“Nobody’s gonna do a damn thing, sweetheart.”
You rest your chin on his chest, looking up at him with tired eyes, you honestly weren’t sure if they were even open all the way.
“But what if-”
“Don’t do that.” he shushed you. “I promise nobody is gonna touch you or your family. I’ll take care of it.”
You decided to drop it for now. It’s not that you didn’t trust Frank. You know without a doubt he would die before letting anyone hurt you or the people close to you.
But you still couldn’t shake this gnawing feeling that something bad was going to happen. You hated the thought of him having to fight a battle on your behalf. Especially one that wouldn’t have even happened if you had kept your emotions in check.
Still, you decided to believe Frank in the moment. Everything would be okay.
Besides, you never felt safer than you did in his arms.
As the breeze from the outside moved through the curtains and over your back, you finally agreed to let sleep overtake you.
You drifted off to sleep to the sound of his heart beating. You felt a light kiss planted on top of your head along with a string of mumbled words,
“No one’s gonna lay a finger on my girl.”
199 notes · View notes
celestialglow24 · 8 days
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thank you so much!! i will take this trope any day of the week so i took the opportunity to indulge 😝 like frank distancing himself because he’s worried for me? sign me up!!
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•••Promise Me•••
Frank Castle x AFAB reader
You finally see Frank again after months of being apart with no explanation.
hi friends. more Frank angst because this man has taken over my mind lately and i think you all should suffer with me. please enjoy xx
The walk back home from the restaurant wasn’t too bad of a trek. You had convinced yourself it’d be alot faster than waiting around for an uber, or bothering your cousin at 12 am to come down there and pick you up.
Was it wise? Probably not. But the multiple shots of liquid courage—fueled with the desire to take a long hot shower—gave you a sense of confidence no one would have been able to shake.
So you said your goodbyes to the group you were with, telling them a little white lie that your ride was here, and began walking home.
As the loud street music and bustling noise of downtown nightlife started to fade, that confidence began to wane.
It was really quiet out here, and no one was around from what you could tell. You could see the sign for a park a little ways ahead and that managed to level your nerves.
Your cousin’s apartment wasn’t too far from there and if you kept at the pace you were moving, you could get there in 10 minutes or so.
God you hated wearing heels. You’d yet to find a pair that didn’t make you want to cut off your feet and curse the ground after only a couple of hours of use.
There was a part of you that was half tempted to take them off and walk the rest of the way barefoot, but after already passing several broken bottles along the street, you decided you didn’t want to chance a night in the ER.
All things considered you were proud of yourself for going out tonight. It had been months since you’d done anything besides: work, sleep, eat, repeat.
Save for a few weekends now and then of binge watching a true crime doc with your cousin Lucy or a trip to the dog park with her dog Penny, you hardly allowed yourself any time to relax.
Anything to avoid your mind having the opportunity to think of him. To think of your past.
So when your coworker invited you out with people from your department to celebrate their recent promotion, you decided to let yourself enjoy a night out. You felt you had earned it.
You hadn’t been working for the company very long, but you got along with everyone pretty well. It was nice of them to include you.
It was certainly more fun than you expected to have but after your brain had tried multiple times to convince you that you’d seen someone that wasn’t there—someone who you hadn’t seen in months—you knew it was time to go.
6 months.
6 months and you still searched for him in a room full of people.
It was pathetic.
Even now, as you walked the nearly empty streets you felt him. You didn’t know how— and despite logic and reason battling with these inexplicable feelings— it still felt like you could sense his presence.
Yeah, this had to be the alcohol talking.
You tightened your trenchcoat around your torso in an effort to self soothe and offered a half smile to the few people you walked by on your way toward the park.
As you rounded the sidewalk, you pulled your phone out to text your cousin that you’d be home any minute. She was probably already sleeping but you wanted to give her the heads up anyway.
Anything to avoid her attacking you with a broom like she did the one time you got home late from work.
Just as you went to tuck your phone back in your coat pocket it slipped out of your hand, landing on the ground face down with a loud crack.
“Fuck” you cried, bending down to asses the damage. Thankfully you had a screen protector, so the actual screen was fine. But man you had done a number on it. The uneven cracks that splintered the screen made it difficult to read the time and notifications.
As you rose from your squatting position, you caught a figure out of the corner of your eye ducking behind a car across the street.
You felt your stomach drop.
Slowly… you stood up taller, squaring your shoulders and trying to steady your breathing. You calmly reached for the front clasp of your clutch, thanking any god or the universe that you managed to stow your taser earlier that night.
You chose not to make any sudden movements. Instead you waited. You waited for so long you were starting to question if you had seen anything at all. Maybe you misunderstood and it was the alcohol messing with your senses.
But when you saw the tip of a black hoodie through the window of the car you knew you weren’t losing it.
“Who’s there?” you shouted.
No response.
“Listen,” your voice shook, “I’m about 10 seconds away from dialing 911 so if you’re not interested in explaining to the cops why you’re sneaking up on -”
“Ain’t no need for all that.” You heard a voice call back.
Your breath stilled. As soon as the voice hit you, it was like the ground beneath you had been ripped away. You didn’t even feel like you were in your own body anymore.
You dug your nails into your palm, trying to startle yourself awake. Surely you had to be dreaming.
But when the figure stood and faced you, their hood falling back to reveal their face, you couldn’t deny what you were seeing.
There were so many emotions swelling inside you at once. Disbelief, disappointment, anger and relief.
You didn’t know it was possible to feel so many things at once.
Perhaps the most compelling was the realization that despite everything, you still felt love. So much love that it made you feel weak.
It almost made you forget everything that’s happened.
The feelings of abandonment. The nights of endless tears. The calls and messages that would never seem to go through.
Feelings of confusion. Of constantly wondering what you did wrong.
Questioning if any of it was ever as real to him as it was to you.
You could almost forget it all. Run right across the street into his arms. Hug him and kiss him over and over. Tell him how much you missed him. How much you need him. How much you forgive him if you could just be together again.
But as quickly as those thoughts teased your mind, the feelings of anger and betrayal enveloped you like an unrelenting wave.
You couldn’t allow the love you felt to erase the hell you’ve endured. You wouldn’t.
So you swallowed the tears that threatened to spill and turned away, making bigger strides to get back to your cousin’s apartment.
You could hear him shout your name but you kept moving.
He must have crossed the street because you could hear him calling directly behind you.
You didn’t stop. You didn’t say a word. You just kept moving.
Choosing to run was just plain stupid, but it was your only resort to get away fast.
Not only was it stupid because your feet hurt like hell and you were risking a face plant any second, but it was stupid because he was the fucking punisher.
Any attempt to try and outrun him was pointless. He’d be able to catch you before you could even finish your next thought.
“Hey!” he yelled, finally catching up to you and grabbing your arm. “Just hold up would you?”
“No!” you shouted, yanking yourself out of his grasp. You took a few steps backward and he held his arms up in defense.
At this point you know you looked like a mess. The hot tears you were trying to suppress had spilled over and you could taste the salt of them on your tongue.
You wanted to hate him. You wanted to hate him so much but seeing the pained look on his face broke your heart.
To be honest he looked like shit. He looked like a man who hadn’t slept in months. His beard was long and unkempt. It even looked like he’d lost weight. And his eyes, the biggest tell of all, were sad and empty.
“I just want to talk.” he spoke calmly.
You shook your head. “How did you find me?”
When you left the witness protection program you didn’t even tell Madani where you were going. She tried to pry it out of you, swearing that it was her duty as her job and as a friend to know. However, you wouldn’t budge.
The people that were after Frank had been taken care of according to Dinah. You didn’t want to continue living out the rest of your life looking over your shoulder.
So you thanked her for all of her help and you wished her the best, but you didn’t want any ties to your life back then. You didn’t want any more reminders of him.
“He asks about you, you know?” she had said during your last conversation. “Every week like clockwork. I haven’t told him anything. Just that you’re safe and happy.”
You scoffed, “Well at least one of those is true.”
She was silent for a moment. “I hope you can give yourself a chance to be happy again. Love doesn’t always look the way we want it to and life is hardly ever fair, but once we choose to accept the pieces we are given…. we can allow ourselves to move on.”
You know Dinah meant well. And you appreciated how close the two of you had gotten based on the circumstances. But you weren’t sure if you could agree with what she was suggesting. It felt impossible to move on when your whole body still ached for him.
“Thank you Dinah.” you relented, “Who knew you could be so therapeutic?”
“Just part of the charm.” she laughed.
A comfortable silence fell between you. You were sitting on the balcony of your cousin’s apartment, and for a brief second you felt a little bit of excitement at the opportunity to start over.
Your cousin had managed to get you a job and while it wasn’t exactly what you were doing before, it was familiar work.
You’d be working for a publishing company polishing and approving manuscripts. It was boring, monotonous work but it was safe.
You thanked Madani again and expressed the hope of following up again someday in the future.
Then you changed your number and disabled your emails.
You knew doing so wouldn’t stop them from being able to find you if they really wanted to. Her and Frank were both good for that. But it gave you a sense of control for now. That you were the one deciding to distance yourself this time and the choice wasn’t being made for you.
“Could we go some place to talk?”, his voice broke you out of the memory.
You crossed your arms.
“No. You don’t get to show up out of nowhere after months of silence expecting to just talk. I have nothing to say to you.”
The words that tumbled out of your mouth were meant to be delivered with strength and conviction. Instead, they sounded more like someone trying to convince themselves that they believed them.
“I can explain whatever you want. Just let’s get out of the cold here, there’s a diner not too far out.” he said, tilting his head back towards where you came from. “We could get a cup of co-”
“No, Frank, I want to stay right here.”
He closed his mouth, but you could tell he was trying to keep his composure. You were being stubborn and as much as you hated being in the cold, you didn't want to be around other people.
You didn’t want to take the chance of losing your shit while people were trying to enjoy their food in peace.
“I get that you’re angry, but there’s a lot you don’t understand. I was just trying to protect you.” he tried to reason.
“You left me Frank. You didn’t text, you didn’t call. You left me completely in the dark.” you cried, wiping angrily at your face to rid the tears that were escaping.
“Do you know how scared I was? Having strangers show up to my house and basically tell me I couldn’t exist as me anymore? I had to move and change my name. And the one person I needed more than anything—the one person who could make all of it feel okay— wouldn't even answer a damn phone call.”
You suddenly felt like you were back in the empty apartment Madani had set you up in. You hardly knew her before that day, she was just “someone who had worked with Frank before”, according to what she told you.
But she kept giving you this look. This look that both expressed the pity she felt for you and the wonder of how you ended up in a situation like this? How you managed to get mixed up in the world of Frank Castle?
But you had met him after he had left that life behind him. And according to him, the life that he was never going back to. Things had been good for so long that you never even questioned it until that day. Now you didn’t even know what was real.
“You were in danger alright? I had angered some really powerful people. I had hurt them, did things I’m not proud of and I wasn’t about to let you take the fall for it. You weren’t safe with me.”
“I was always safe with you!” you shouted, “Who else could’ve kept me more safe that you? We could’ve worked it out together, we could’ve came up with a plan—” you stopped as you watched Frank shake his head in disbelief, “What, Frank? What the fuck is that about?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Come up with a plan? Really?” he scoffed, “This isn’t team sports. It’s not some dumb escape room you sit around and solve clues in. It’s real fucking life.”
You looked down at your feet. The escape room comment was a low blow. It was something you loved doing and grumpy Frank hated. He’d go along with it if you planned it, not bothering to hide his disdain at first, but by the end of it you knew he had fun with you.
You didn’t think he’d throw it in your face as a means to mock you.
“Frank, we were partners. That’s what you do.” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. “You work through things together. As a team. Not one person taking over and telling the other person what to do all the time, but see you didn’t ever want to do that did you? You didn’t think I was capable right?”
“Don’t go there.” he warned. You could see his hands start to twitch. In the past his agitation would have gotten you to dial it back a little. You hated fighting with him and it was never worth it.
But this time you didn’t care. You didn’t understand why he was the one so angry.
“Why not?” you probed, “You always made it seem like I was one mistake away from getting myself hurt.”
“That’s because you never took things seriously. You had no sense of danger. Too trusting, too carefree, too-”
“Stupid?” you interjected.
“I didn't say that.” he shot back. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to find some place to channel the tension. You could tell this was not how he wanted the conversation to be going either.
You couldn’t believe you were having this same fight. It was something you never got along about.
You tried to be understanding. You both had different life experiences and because Frank had a military background, he had been trained to look at things a certain way.
He was trained to look for a threat and “take it out before it took you”. Transitioning back to civilian life wasn’t always that simple. Those habits could be hard to unlearn.
It wasn’t always bad, but it wasn’t always necessary.
Not every stranger was a potential threat set out to hurt you.
Staying late at work didn’t mean you were in danger and someone was holding you hostage.
Interviewing a source for your upcoming news article didn’t immediately put a target on your back.
But Frank always anticipated the worst.
You know it was his way of expressing his love but it could be a lot at times. You just wanted to enjoy life together without always feeling like there was some danger lurking around the corner waiting to get you.
“Go ahead Frank,” you continued, “Let me hear how stupid it was for me to walk home by myself tonight. How naive it was to risk getting hurt when I should’ve called a cab.”
“I’m not gonna act like it was a good idea, and up until a few minutes ago I’m sure you were realizing it wasn’t either.”
You let out a groan.
“I was almost home, besides I don’t think anyone would’ve tried anything with the big bad punisher stalking me.” you said, throwing your arms out dramatically.
“I mean really Frank, what was your plan? Were you just gonna jump out and shout surprise? Were you gonna follow me home to make sure no one grabbed me? Stare down the cars that drove past me? The people that passed me? What was the fucking point?”
For a moment he didn’t say anything.He kept his gaze down at his boots. The twitching of his hands had stopped, and the heavy rise and fall of his chest had slowed down.
“I needed to see you.”
The phrase was simple, but it held such weight.
You understood what he meant. You felt the desperation in his voice. And yet you couldn’t stop the anger from bubbling up.
“What about all the times I needed to see you? To hear your voice? Why didn’t I deserve the decency of a phone call, a text message, anything?”
“I couldn’t risk it.”
“Bullshit.” you spat. “You could risk asking Madani about me?”
His head shot up at that.
“Are we gonna do this all night?” he asked, the anger picking up in his voice again, “Huh? We’re gonna just keep yelling at each other? Who was right? Who was wrong?”
“Yes Frank because I’m angry with you! You made me feel unimportant. You made me feel helpless, like I had no control over my own damn life anymore.” You stepped closer, making sure he couldn’t avoid your eyes.
“You pushed me away like I meant nothing to you!” you shoved him.
“No.” he shouted, “I pushed you away because you meant everything to me!”
He turned away and let out a deep breath through his nose. The weight of his words slamming into you like a wrecking ball.
“Everyone I've ever cared about gets hurt because of me. Because of my demons. Because of the shit I've done to other people. I couldn't take that chance with you. They were so close to hurting you. I had to do something. That’s why I contacted Madani. That’s why we got you into witness protection.”
You felt the sting of the tears start to swell up again. From anger, frustration or sadness you couldn’t tell. Maybe it was all three.
“You want to know why I couldn’t say goodbye to you? Why I couldn’t call you? It’s because I knew—,” he paused and looked off to the side, “I knew that if I saw you—if I just heard your fucking voice—I’d change my mind.”
He finally locked eyes with you again, taking a step closer to you. He was testing it out, seeing how close you would let him get. To his surprise you didn’t move away.
“I couldn’t be selfish with you.” he said softly.
You didn’t know what to say. You knew the people that had been after Frank were relentless, but you never once feared for your life. Maybe there was more to it that he kept from you, and you wanted to trust him, but it didn’t diminish what you experienced while he was gone.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I hurt you. But I’m not sorry I did it because you’re safe. And I know it’s probably not what you want to hear, but I’d do it again in a fucking hearbeat if it meant nothing would happen to you.”
“It’s just—.” your voice trembled and you bit your bottom lip. You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t put the words together.
“What is it?” he asked gently, taking another step towards you. This time he was close enough he grabbed the bottom of your chin and tilted it up towards him.
“I really missed you and I didn’t think you cared about me anymore.” You choked.
Suddenly you felt yourself pressed up against his chest as he pulled you into him. “No baby, that’s not true.” he soothed.
You wrapped your arms around his torso and laid your head on his chest, letting all the pent up emotions slowly release. God you forgot how good it felt to be held by him.
All the nights you longed for this very feeling. For him to hug you and kiss you and tell you everything was gonna be alright.
You could feel your unsteady breathing start to level out again and all the anger and frustration slowly disappear. It was as if he was a magnet, pulling out the deepest emotions you tried so hard to bury.
“I missed you so fucking much you have no idea.” He pulled back, tilting his head down to look at you.
You both locked eyes and without thinking twice you kissed him. He responded instantly, pulling you so tightly against him it was as if he was trying to swallow you whole.
That feeling people mention of the world standing still—you finally understood what that meant.
When you couldn’t breathe anymore you pulled away, resting your forehead against his.
“What does this mean, Frank?” you quietly asked. “Can we be together now? Do we just go back to the way things were before?”
He was quiet for a moment and you almost regretted asking the question.
“It’s whatever you want it to be sweetheart.” he finally answered, “You tell me.”
You weren’t sure what to say. One half of you wanted to be together again. The other half wasn’t so sure you should give in this easily.
What if it happened again? You didn’t doubt there were more people out there that’d like to see Frank Castle and the people he loved, hurt.
Would he push you away? You didn’t think you could survive it a second time.
“Frank, I love you. I want to be with you. But I need you to treat me like an equal. I want to be included in decisions. I don’t want to be kept in the dark again, it isn’t fair.”
Though he wasn’t speaking, you could tell the thoughts were churning in his head.
“If something like this comes up again I want to know about it. I want to have a say in how we handle it. Can you please promise me that?”
Frank let out a heavy sigh. He had to fight with the selfish side of him that wanted to say no. This shouldn’t even be something you have to worry about. He’s the one that should be responsible, not you.
But if he was being honest with himself these past several months were hell. He hated not being with you and maybe compromising would be the best thing to do after all.
He didn’t like making promises in general, but as he looked into your eyes he couldn’t bring himself to fight anymore. He needed to be with you just as much as you needed him too.
“Okay.” he agreed quietly.
“Promise me.” you urged again. You needed to hear him say it.
“I promise.”
You didn’t even realize how tense your body had become until you felt your shoulders relax. Frank pulled you into him again and you could feel the tension in him relax as well.
If anyone would have told you an hour ago you’d be standing in the middle of the street being held by Frank you would’ve told them they were crazy.
There were nights you never thought this moment would come. So as the two of you continued to stand there, holding onto each other. You realized there was probably nothing in this world that could match this feeling.
You would make sure that no matter what was waiting for you around the corner, you’d never let go again.
187 notes · View notes
celestialglow24 · 8 days
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Masterlist
Frank Castle x Reader
Space Cowboy
Even Still
Promise Me
Sharing the Bed
This is the only character i have because he’s my current hyper fixation at the moment 💀 but since i have some new followers i thought i would organize what i have so far.
enjoy xx
12 notes · View notes
celestialglow24 · 8 days
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•••Promise Me•••
Frank Castle x AFAB reader
You finally see Frank again after months of being apart with no explanation.
hi friends. more Frank angst because this man has taken over my mind lately and i think you all should suffer with me. please enjoy xx
The walk back home from the restaurant wasn’t too bad of a trek. You had convinced yourself it’d be alot faster than waiting around for an uber, or bothering your cousin at 12 am to come down there and pick you up.
Was it wise? Probably not. But the multiple shots of liquid courage—fueled with the desire to take a long hot shower—gave you a sense of confidence no one would have been able to shake.
So you said your goodbyes to the group you were with, telling them a little white lie that your ride was here, and began walking home.
As the loud street music and bustling noise of downtown nightlife started to fade, that confidence began to wane.
It was really quiet out here, and no one was around from what you could tell. You could see the sign for a park a little ways ahead and that managed to level your nerves.
Your cousin’s apartment wasn’t too far from there and if you kept at the pace you were moving, you could get there in 10 minutes or so.
God you hated wearing heels. You’d yet to find a pair that didn’t make you want to cut off your feet and curse the ground after only a couple of hours of use.
There was a part of you that was half tempted to take them off and walk the rest of the way barefoot, but after already passing several broken bottles along the street, you decided you didn’t want to chance a night in the ER.
All things considered you were proud of yourself for going out tonight. It had been months since you’d done anything besides: work, sleep, eat, repeat.
Save for a few weekends now and then of binge watching a true crime doc with your cousin Lucy or a trip to the dog park with her dog Penny, you hardly allowed yourself any time to relax.
Anything to avoid your mind having the opportunity to think of him. To think of your past.
So when your coworker invited you out with people from your department to celebrate their recent promotion, you decided to let yourself enjoy a night out. You felt you had earned it.
You hadn’t been working for the company very long, but you got along with everyone pretty well. It was nice of them to include you.
It was certainly more fun than you expected to have but after your brain had tried multiple times to convince you that you’d seen someone that wasn’t there—someone who you hadn’t seen in months—you knew it was time to go.
6 months.
6 months and you still searched for him in a room full of people.
It was pathetic.
Even now, as you walked the nearly empty streets you felt him. You didn’t know how— and despite logic and reason battling with these inexplicable feelings— it still felt like you could sense his presence.
Yeah, this had to be the alcohol talking.
You tightened your trenchcoat around your torso in an effort to self soothe and offered a half smile to the few people you walked by on your way toward the park.
As you rounded the sidewalk, you pulled your phone out to text your cousin that you’d be home any minute. She was probably already sleeping but you wanted to give her the heads up anyway.
Anything to avoid her attacking you with a broom like she did the one time you got home late from work.
Just as you went to tuck your phone back in your coat pocket it slipped out of your hand, landing on the ground face down with a loud crack.
“Fuck” you cried, bending down to asses the damage. Thankfully you had a screen protector, so the actual screen was fine. But man you had done a number on it. The uneven cracks that splintered the screen made it difficult to read the time and notifications.
As you rose from your squatting position, you caught a figure out of the corner of your eye ducking behind a car across the street.
You felt your stomach drop.
Slowly… you stood up taller, squaring your shoulders and trying to steady your breathing. You calmly reached for the front clasp of your clutch, thanking any god or the universe that you managed to stow your taser earlier that night.
You chose not to make any sudden movements. Instead you waited. You waited for so long you were starting to question if you had seen anything at all. Maybe you misunderstood and it was the alcohol messing with your senses.
But when you saw the tip of a black hoodie through the window of the car you knew you weren’t losing it.
“Who’s there?” you shouted.
No response.
“Listen,” your voice shook, “I’m about 10 seconds away from dialing 911 so if you’re not interested in explaining to the cops why you’re sneaking up on -”
“Ain’t no need for all that.” You heard a voice call back.
Your breath stilled. As soon as the voice hit you, it was like the ground beneath you had been ripped away. You didn’t even feel like you were in your own body anymore.
You dug your nails into your palm, trying to startle yourself awake. Surely you had to be dreaming.
But when the figure stood and faced you, their hood falling back to reveal their face, you couldn’t deny what you were seeing.
There were so many emotions swelling inside you at once. Disbelief, disappointment, anger and relief.
You didn’t know it was possible to feel so many things at once.
Perhaps the most compelling was the realization that despite everything, you still felt love. So much love that it made you feel weak.
It almost made you forget everything that’s happened.
The feelings of abandonment. The nights of endless tears. The calls and messages that would never seem to go through.
Feelings of confusion. Of constantly wondering what you did wrong.
Questioning if any of it was ever as real to him as it was to you.
You could almost forget it all. Run right across the street into his arms. Hug him and kiss him over and over. Tell him how much you missed him. How much you need him. How much you forgive him if you could just be together again.
But as quickly as those thoughts teased your mind, the feelings of anger and betrayal enveloped you like an unrelenting wave.
You couldn’t allow the love you felt to erase the hell you’ve endured. You wouldn’t.
So you swallowed the tears that threatened to spill and turned away, making bigger strides to get back to your cousin’s apartment.
You could hear him shout your name but you kept moving.
He must have crossed the street because you could hear him calling directly behind you.
You didn’t stop. You didn’t say a word. You just kept moving.
Choosing to run was just plain stupid, but it was your only resort to get away fast.
Not only was it stupid because your feet hurt like hell and you were risking a face plant any second, but it was stupid because he was the fucking punisher.
Any attempt to try and outrun him was pointless. He’d be able to catch you before you could even finish your next thought.
“Hey!” he yelled, finally catching up to you and grabbing your arm. “Just hold up would you?”
“No!” you shouted, yanking yourself out of his grasp. You took a few steps backward and he held his arms up in defense.
At this point you know you looked like a mess. The hot tears you were trying to suppress had spilled over and you could taste the salt of them on your tongue.
You wanted to hate him. You wanted to hate him so much but seeing the pained look on his face broke your heart.
To be honest he looked like shit. He looked like a man who hadn’t slept in months. His beard was long and unkempt. It even looked like he’d lost weight. And his eyes, the biggest tell of all, were sad and empty.
“I just want to talk.” he spoke calmly.
You shook your head. “How did you find me?”
When you left the witness protection program you didn’t even tell Madani where you were going. She tried to pry it out of you, swearing that it was her duty as her job and as a friend to know. However, you wouldn’t budge.
The people that were after Frank had been taken care of according to Dinah. You didn’t want to continue living out the rest of your life looking over your shoulder.
So you thanked her for all of her help and you wished her the best, but you didn’t want any ties to your life back then. You didn’t want any more reminders of him.
“He asks about you, you know?” she had said during your last conversation. “Every week like clockwork. I haven’t told him anything. Just that you’re safe and happy.”
You scoffed, “Well at least one of those is true.”
She was silent for a moment. “I hope you can give yourself a chance to be happy again. Love doesn’t always look the way we want it to and life is hardly ever fair, but once we choose to accept the pieces we are given…. we can allow ourselves to move on.”
You know Dinah meant well. And you appreciated how close the two of you had gotten based on the circumstances. But you weren’t sure if you could agree with what she was suggesting. It felt impossible to move on when your whole body still ached for him.
“Thank you Dinah.” you relented, “Who knew you could be so therapeutic?”
“Just part of the charm.” she laughed.
A comfortable silence fell between you. You were sitting on the balcony of your cousin’s apartment, and for a brief second you felt a little bit of excitement at the opportunity to start over.
Your cousin had managed to get you a job and while it wasn’t exactly what you were doing before, it was familiar work.
You’d be working for a publishing company polishing and approving manuscripts. It was boring, monotonous work but it was safe.
You thanked Madani again and expressed the hope of following up again someday in the future.
Then you changed your number and disabled your emails.
You knew doing so wouldn’t stop them from being able to find you if they really wanted to. Her and Frank were both good for that. But it gave you a sense of control for now. That you were the one deciding to distance yourself this time and the choice wasn’t being made for you.
“Could we go some place to talk?”, his voice broke you out of the memory.
You crossed your arms.
“No. You don’t get to show up out of nowhere after months of silence expecting to just talk. I have nothing to say to you.”
The words that tumbled out of your mouth were meant to be delivered with strength and conviction. Instead, they sounded more like someone trying to convince themselves that they believed them.
“I can explain whatever you want. Just let’s get out of the cold here, there’s a diner not too far out.” he said, tilting his head back towards where you came from. “We could get a cup of co-”
“No, Frank, I want to stay right here.”
He closed his mouth, but you could tell he was trying to keep his composure. You were being stubborn and as much as you hated being in the cold, you didn't want to be around other people.
You didn’t want to take the chance of losing your shit while people were trying to enjoy their food in peace.
“I get that you’re angry, but there’s a lot you don’t understand. I was just trying to protect you.” he tried to reason.
“You left me Frank. You didn’t text, you didn’t call. You left me completely in the dark.” you cried, wiping angrily at your face to rid the tears that were escaping.
“Do you know how scared I was? Having strangers show up to my house and basically tell me I couldn’t exist as me anymore? I had to move and change my name. And the one person I needed more than anything—the one person who could make all of it feel okay— wouldn't even answer a damn phone call.”
You suddenly felt like you were back in the empty apartment Madani had set you up in. You hardly knew her before that day, she was just “someone who had worked with Frank before”, according to what she told you.
But she kept giving you this look. This look that both expressed the pity she felt for you and the wonder of how you ended up in a situation like this? How you managed to get mixed up in the world of Frank Castle?
But you had met him after he had left that life behind him. And according to him, the life that he was never going back to. Things had been good for so long that you never even questioned it until that day. Now you didn’t even know what was real.
“You were in danger alright? I had angered some really powerful people. I had hurt them, did things I’m not proud of and I wasn’t about to let you take the fall for it. You weren’t safe with me.”
“I was always safe with you!” you shouted, “Who else could’ve kept me more safe than you? We could’ve worked it out together, we could’ve came up with a plan—” you stopped as you watched Frank shake his head in disbelief, “What, Frank? What the fuck is that about?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Come up with a plan? Really?” he scoffed, “This isn’t team sports. It’s not some dumb escape room you sit around and solve clues in. It’s real fucking life.”
You looked down at your feet. The escape room comment was a low blow. It was something you loved doing and grumpy Frank hated. He’d go along with it if you planned it, not bothering to hide his disdain at first, but by the end of it you knew he had fun with you.
You didn’t think he’d throw it in your face as a means to mock you.
“Frank, we were partners. That’s what you do.” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. “You work through things together. As a team. Not one person taking over and telling the other person what to do all the time, but see you didn’t ever want to do that did you? You didn’t think I was capable right?”
“Don’t go there.” he warned. You could see his hands start to twitch. In the past his agitation would have gotten you to dial it back a little. You hated fighting with him and it was never worth it.
But this time you didn’t care. You didn’t understand why he was the one so angry.
“Why not?” you probed, “You always made it seem like I was one mistake away from getting myself hurt.”
“That’s because you never took things seriously. You had no sense of danger. Too trusting, too carefree, too-”
“Stupid?” you interjected.
“I didn't say that.” he shot back. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to find some place to channel the tension. You could tell this was not how he wanted the conversation to be going either.
You couldn’t believe you were having this same fight. It was something you never got along about.
You tried to be understanding. You both had different life experiences and because Frank had a military background, he had been trained to look at things a certain way.
He was trained to look for a threat and “take it out before it took you”. Transitioning back to civilian life wasn’t always that simple. Those habits could be hard to unlearn.
It wasn’t always bad, but it wasn’t always necessary.
Not every stranger was a potential threat set out to hurt you.
Staying late at work didn’t mean you were in danger and someone was holding you hostage.
Interviewing a source for your upcoming news article didn’t immediately put a target on your back.
But Frank always anticipated the worst.
You know it was his way of expressing his love but it could be a lot at times. You just wanted to enjoy life together without always feeling like there was some danger lurking around the corner waiting to get you.
“Go ahead Frank,” you continued, “Let me hear how stupid it was for me to walk home by myself tonight. How naive it was to risk getting hurt when I should’ve called a cab.”
“I ain’t gonna act like it was a good idea, and up until a few minutes ago I’m sure you were realizin it wasn’t either.”
You let out a groan.
“I was almost home, besides I don’t think anyone would’ve tried anything with the big bad punisher stalking me.” you said, throwing your arms out dramatically.
“I mean really Frank, what was your plan? Were you just gonna jump out and shout surprise? Were you gonna follow me home to make sure no one grabbed me? Stare down the cars that drove past me? The people that passed me? What was the fucking point?”
For a moment he didn’t say anything.He kept his gaze down at his boots. The twitching of his hands had stopped, and the heavy rise and fall of his chest had slowed down.
“I needed to see you.”
The phrase was simple, but it held such weight.
You understood what he meant. You felt the desperation in his voice. And yet you couldn’t stop the anger from bubbling up.
“What about all the times I needed to see you? To hear your voice? Why didn’t I deserve the decency of a phone call, a text message, anything?”
“I couldn’t risk it.”
“Bullshit.” you spat. “You could risk asking Madani about me?”
His head shot up at that.
“Are we gonna do this all night?” he asked, the anger picking up in his voice again, “Huh? We’re gonna just keep yelling at each other? Who was right? Who was wrong?”
“Yes Frank because I��m angry with you! You made me feel unimportant. You made me feel helpless, like I had no control over my own damn life anymore.” You stepped closer, making sure he couldn’t avoid your eyes.
“You pushed me away like I meant nothing to you!” you shoved him.
“No.” he shouted, “I pushed you away because you meant everything to me!”
He turned away and let out a deep breath through his nose. The weight of his words slamming into you like a wrecking ball.
“Everyone I've ever cared about gets hurt because of me. Because of my demons. Because of the shit I've done to other people. I couldn't take that chance with you. They were so close to hurting you. I had to do something. That’s why I contacted Madani. That’s why we got you into witness protection.”
You felt the sting of the tears start to swell up again. From anger, frustration or sadness you couldn’t tell. Maybe it was all three.
“You want to know why I couldn’t say goodbye to you? Why I couldn’t call you? It’s because I knew—,” he paused and looked off to the side, “I knew that if I saw you—if I just heard your fucking voice—I’d change my mind.”
He finally locked eyes with you again, taking a step closer to you. He was testing it out, seeing how close you would let him get. To his surprise you didn’t move away.
“I couldn’t be selfish with you.” he said softly.
You didn’t know what to say. You knew the people that had been after Frank were relentless, but you never once feared for your life. Maybe there was more to it that he kept from you, and you wanted to trust him, but it didn’t diminish what you experienced while he was gone.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I hurt you. But I’m not sorry I did it because you’re safe. And I know it’s probably not what you want to hear, but I’d do it again in a fucking hearbeat if it meant nothing would happen to you.”
“It’s just—.” your voice trembled and you bit your bottom lip. You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t put the words together.
“What is it?” he asked gently, taking another step towards you. This time he was close enough he grabbed the bottom of your chin and tilted it up towards him.
“I really missed you and I didn’t think you cared about me anymore.” You choked.
Suddenly you felt yourself pressed up against his chest as he pulled you into him. “No baby, that’s not true.” he soothed.
You wrapped your arms around his torso and laid your head on his chest, letting all the pent up emotions slowly release. God you forgot how good it felt to be held by him.
All the nights you longed for this very feeling. For him to hug you and kiss you and tell you everything was gonna be alright.
You could feel your unsteady breathing start to level out again and all the anger and frustration slowly disappear. It was as if he was a magnet, pulling out the deepest emotions you tried so hard to bury.
“I missed you so fucking much you have no idea.” He pulled back, tilting his head down to look at you.
You both locked eyes and without thinking twice you kissed him. He responded instantly, pulling you so tightly against him it was as if he was trying to swallow you whole.
That feeling people mention of the world standing still—you finally understood what that meant.
When you couldn’t breathe anymore you pulled away, resting your forehead against his.
“What does this mean, Frank?” you quietly asked. “Can we be together now? Do we just go back to the way things were before?”
He was quiet for a moment and you almost regretted asking the question.
“It’s whatever you want it to be sweetheart.” he finally answered, “You tell me.”
You weren’t sure what to say. One half of you wanted to be together again. The other half wasn’t so sure you should give in this easily.
What if it happened again? You didn’t doubt there were more people out there that’d like to see Frank Castle and the people he loved, hurt.
Would he push you away? You didn’t think you could survive it a second time.
“Frank, I love you. I want to be with you. But I need you to treat me like an equal. I want to be included in decisions. I don’t want to be kept in the dark again, it isn’t fair.”
Though he wasn’t speaking, you could tell the thoughts were churning in his head.
“If something like this comes up again I want to know about it. I want to have a say in how we handle it. Can you please promise me that?”
Frank let out a heavy sigh. He had to fight with the selfish side of him that wanted to say no. This shouldn’t even be something you have to worry about. He’s the one that should be responsible, not you.
But if he was being honest with himself these past several months were hell. He hated not being with you and maybe compromising would be the best thing to do after all.
He didn’t like making promises in general, but as he looked into your eyes he couldn’t bring himself to fight anymore. He needed to be with you just as much as you needed him too.
“Okay.” he agreed quietly.
“Promise me.” you urged again. You needed to hear him say it.
“I promise.”
You didn’t even realize how tense your body had become until you felt your shoulders relax. Frank pulled you into him again and you could feel the tension in him relax as well.
If anyone would have told you an hour ago you’d be standing in the middle of the street being held by Frank you would’ve told them they were crazy.
There were nights you never thought this moment would come. So as the two of you continued to stand there, holding onto each other. You realized there was probably nothing in this world that could match this feeling.
You would make sure that no matter what was waiting for you around the corner, you’d never let go again.
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celestialglow24 · 9 days
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bruno.viola: Un amigazo Frank Castle ☠️ #ThePunisher
(June 11, 2018)
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JB behind the scenes of Small Engine Repair
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Jon Bernthal as Julian Kaye AMERICAN GIGOLO (2022) S01 EP07: Atomic
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celestialglow24 · 11 days
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i know i’m not god’s favorite cause if i was he’d let me be the one to kiss all over jon bernthal’s face
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manspread ✅
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